- Producer12/12/2017Is this year YOUR best?Right now, many of us are sweating a lot of small stuff on the home stretch of 2017. But somewhere before the end of this very strange year, we should all take a few minutes to count our blessings. Allow me to count mine. I...
Comments14/12/2017 #13 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI remember Anjula Evans at City Centre Toastmasters telling me her journey from her car accident that left her totally transformed, the transformation being that she had to learn everything including how to talk again. Before the injury Anjula had set her dreams to be a singer http://www.jango.com/music/Anjula+Evans and now a devastating accident that created massive head/brain trauma meant starting everything from scratch.
Just like you the struggle is rare and happens to the few rather than the many, but the underlying sense of blessing I do believe is a vital factor in the fortitude to return back to what all of us would consider to be "normal". That is why I can allow my ego to invest in the syrup of success but realize that counting blessings has a greater wisdom than counting on our ego and it accompanying frames of success. Counting blessings is not a success paradigm, it is a wisdom, only people like yourself and Anjula truly know from the school of adversity and incredible resilience what the value of that wisdom is and how it guided you both back to appreciate now what so many other just take for granted or worse cannot contemplate as a blessing.
We may have the power to kick adversity out of our life but it is not a given that we have the same dimensions of will. In this regard we will still continue to lose people to suicide and hear about people who battled for the blessing called life through cultivating their capacity for willpower, or at least meaningful resolve that impossible odds to some contain a germ of possibility. For sure much of this exists between our ears but it is also contained in the core of body.12/12/2017 #12 Charlene Norman#8 @Neil Smith EXACTLY!
And you know what else? When we all stop talking so much and listen a bit more, it truly is surprising what we learn. That is one of the big lessons I was forced to learn. And have found it actually is paying off very handily now! Merry Christmas to you and yours this lovely season.12/12/2017 #6 Harvey Lloyd#5 Oh we all have our days of rants, this is my season as we land the tax season and realize the taxes we pay. Necessary, but difficult to swallow when seen in whole annual numbers.
Yes sometimes it's good to hear both sides of the coin on the same issue. Or two different approaches to a shared opinion.
Enjoy the season.12/12/2017 #5 Charlene Norman#2 @Harvey Lloyd What a very interesting idea... especially on the days I actually out rant the ranter -- depending on the topic of course. ROFL. Most certainly cannot beat either one of those two boys on the edgy side of life. I will most assuredly put your cool idea on the list of many things to do in the new year. Never thought of doing such a thing.
And hugs to you and yours this fabulous Christmas season!12/12/2017 #2 Harvey LloydThanks for your honesty in reminding us a whole lot more went right this year than wrong. You are very encouraging as we face the nightmare of landing the proverbial plane of 2017. I am lucky to even have the worry of landing anything. I didn't fall out of the sky.
30 years, CONGRATULATIONS. That in itself is an amazing blessing.
Now that we have counted our blessings of the year we can now know that next year will contain the same blessings. Be prepared to take advantage.
If i could recommend a series of posts for you and Jim. The Rant and Blessing. Phil and Jim have the edgy corner wrapped up, it would be interesting for the rant to meet the blessing here on BeBee:)
May your season be blessed with time memories and contentment. Merry Christmas. ps. Great post.
- Producer10/12/2017In Times of TribulationsAh, what a person ought to do in times of tribulations? Perhaps, the best remedy is to practice patience. Yes...because patience is a luminous beauty, it’s a modest silence, a communicating spirit and a steady power.Oftentimes, our sufferings are an...
Comments10/12/2017 #5 Mohammed A. Jawad#4 @Harvey Lloyd Thanks for reading and I do appreciate your pensive reflections. There's concise wisdom in your writings that one can measure word by word. I like what you say, and indeed, when things go beyond our expectations and what we get is something different, then there's the subject of wishful contentment, and not mere delayed patience out of no options.10/12/2017 #4 Harvey Lloyd@Mohammed A. Jawad if we think about the words that describe character like, patience, we are really defining it in others not ourselves. My own patience is difficult to measure from my own perspective.
But it still begs the question of why some are patient and some not? Is it percerverance or some other trait?
C.S Lewis states that actions emerge from expectations. If we expect one thing and get another then our character will be tested.
When I see true leadership I see individuals that first test their expectations then review what they received/experience.
Eating out at a fast food eatery and expecting 5 star service and quisene will set us up for conflict.
Leadership carries the extra burden of not only tempering our own expectations but anticipating expectations of customers, employees and markets.
If we can measure our expectations to reality then patience and perseverance come naturally.
A side note. When engaged with someone experiencing negative characteristics. Engage in a discussion of expectations not the negative. You will be amazed at how this moves emotion to logical thinking. Not always perfect but will remove your own fuel from the fire.
- Producer08/12/2017Reflections in a cemeteryI suppose it’s inevitable that visits to a cemetery inspire us to pause and to reflect upon our mortality. I have found myself often reflecting upon my own life, with its trials and tribulations and acknowledging that all whose mortal remains lie...
Comments09/12/2017 #16 Lisa VanderburgCemeteries are often the only place of tranquility within to think! But while our northern family tend to go for donate / cremate, our Chilean lot LOVE their funeral plots! I have utmost respect but little sentimentality towards cadavers, of which I plan to be one day :)09/12/2017 #15 Cyndi wilkins#12 Ahh..must be a thing among you Army boys. My dad was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne stationed at Ft Campbell , KY during the Korean War...He liked his cognac too...Must be why I tend to fancy the amber liquors myself from time to time... It's also where he developed a fine repertoire for dirty jokes;-)09/12/2017 #14 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI do see cemeteries as a place with much deeper reflective quality, but equally I am drawn to obituary columns, many times the only mention of many people in a world we assume everyone shares their life or their story. The reality is that many people do not. The difference between the obit and the funeral is time span. Gravestones are multi-generational, whereas obits are generally in the moment, unless it is anniversary that people want to share.08/12/2017 #9 Cyndi wilkins@Ian Weinberg... Interesting I should connect with your post today...As the anniversary of my father's passing last New Year's Eve has weighed heavily on my mind with the approaching holiday, I began feeling very ill...flu-like...nausea...headache...loss of appetite...the whole nine yards. For the past several weeks I just couldn't seem to shake the dang thing.
The other day I reached a crisis point and canceled my clients and spent the day in bed...I slept all day and eventually emerged from a state of exhaustion with an awareness that my grieving process was taking a turn to acceptance...I awoke to the smell of my dads favorite tobacco...I always filled a stocking for him every year for Christmas that included a can of Borkum Riff Whiskey pipe tobacco...He always told me it was his favorite gift...and I just received mine...I visit from my dad;-) Merry Christmas daddy!08/12/2017 #8 Randall Burns#7 Wow! @Ian Weinberg That's sounds absolutely fascinating, I would be honored, (and I'm sure I would learn a lot), Yes let's discuss. I don't think you've seen this but here's a post I wrote about stress;
May give you some more insights.08/12/2017 #7 Ian Weinberg#5 Thanks @Randall Burns I've been meaning to tell you that I'm intrigued by your world of chefdom! There are multiple layers of reality in that kitchen, extending way beyond the neuropsychological. And since you've already described the 'Zen' of it all, I think it goes into that quantum/mystical space. Perhaps we should consider jointly writing the neuroscience and Zen/quantum physics of the chef's domain?08/12/2017 #5 Randall BurnsGreat piece @Ian Weinberg, I strongly agree that our emotional/psychological states carry far more influence on our physical bodies than most people give credit for. Something I tell my cooks when they're feeling "sick", disassemble the word "disease", and you have "dis ease". Many times when they're feeling the stress and pressure it will affect them physically. Often it is just the recognition of the correlation of the psychological "dis ease" affecting the physical state that helps relieve symptoms. I realize that is a little simplistic but I believe the recognition is a step in the right direction.
great post!08/12/2017 #3 Paul Walters@Ian Weinberg " takotsubo syndrome (named after an octopus trap in Japanese)," again one learns things each day. Wish I had known that when I wrote my book of short stories. One involves an eminent surgeon who is desperate to convince the medical fraternity that dying of a broken heart is real!!! Thanks again for a truly awesome post!
- Producer05/12/2017Six Manipulation Tactics Everyone Should Learn to Recognize and ManageAs part of the communication/ messaging series I am doing with Graham Edwards, I thought it would be interesting to write about manipulative communication. If manipulators had horns, they would be easy to recognize. Quite often, the biggest...
Comments08/12/2017 #20 Cyndi wilkins#18 These types tend to be on the spectrum with BPD's, narcissists and sociopaths...They are very cunning pathological liars...and the scariest part of that is they truly believe their own lies as truth...and do not give a rat's fanny about the consequences of their behavior or it's effect on others. Best suggestion...head for the hills...and if you must engage...wear your emotional body armor.07/12/2017 #18 Deas PlantHi, Renee Cormier.
A VERY good article, very clear and informative . Thank you.
One suggestion if I may - it might help a lot of people if you were to do a follow-up article on the main personalities and character types who employ manipulative tactics. Yes, I know that this behaviour is not restricted to any specific personality types but I was thinking in terms of narcissists, borderlines, etc..
I had a 20-year marriage and a 10-years de facto relationship, BOTH with manipulative partners.
Just my 0.02. Thanks again.
You have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.07/12/2017 #14 Cyndi wilkinsGreat piece @Renée 🐝 Cormier...Many become very diabolical in their tactics, but somehow manage to come out smelling like a rose in the blinded eyes of others...Frustrating people...especially when they are family and you are forced to engage with them on occasion...I find it best to keep these interactions short and emotionally detached...06/12/2017 #10 Renée 🐝 Cormier#7 Thanks for sharing, Lisa. These are pretty common manipulative techniques, but as I mentioned in the comment below, this list barely scratches the surface. People who twist the meaning of your words into something you didn't intend are also a real pain in the ass. I could go on all day with things I have experienced and read about. I think most of us run into these tactics here and there throughout our lives. If you don't naturally work that way, then it is hard to imagine people can favour that type of communication.06/12/2017 #7 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI've heard the term gaslighting before but never knew what it meant. Wow, other than the master manipulators, they seem to be a scary group too. I think I've run across all of these types through out my life. You are spot on with your description @Renée 🐝 Cormier View moreI've heard the term gaslighting before but never knew what it meant. Wow, other than the master manipulators, they seem to be a scary group too. I think I've run across all of these types through out my life. You are spot on with your description @Renée 🐝 Cormier, thanks! Close
- Producer30/11/2017Castle Hill Home Buyers and MeI just made my morning trek to the store. I saw Issy (https://www.bebee.com/producer/@joyce-bowen/istiak-needs-a-kidney-istiak-necesita-un-rinon) and told him my news. I will be moving in a few months. I extended my helping hand. It’s possible Issy...
Comments01/12/2017 #3 Todd Jones"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For indeed, that's all who ever have." - Margaret Mead
Your path has certainly not been an easy one, but I believe you will change the world, Joyce.
I'm the quote guy today. Here's another by Albert Einstein- "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."30/11/2017 #2 Deb 🐝 HelfrichI am honored to read of how your essential craftiness (nee crustiness) has created a new path for you, @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. Continue to giggle into the challenges, despite how hard it can be at any given moment. The world still has work for you to do. There are many others who need to figure out how to move through stuckness into a sustainable way to care for themselves in challenging health situations. You can be a champion for many.
- Producer25/11/2017Nothing Is Funny Until You Burn.The funniest people are usually the most tragic, so it doesn't hurt to scream and sometimes show how little you care.“We are here to laugh at the odds...” Charles BukowskiBukowski never gave a bad speech, mostly because he hated speeches. People...
Comments28/11/2017 #7 Lisa VanderburgThe truth is cats @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher have a wickedly deadpan humor. They absolutely KNOW when a person dislikes or are fearful of them and they make a beeline in that direction. They WILL be adored, whether you like it or not; it's of no matter to them as they bend you to their will. In fact, the reason ancient hieroglyphics contain so many feline symbols is that the Egyptians were enslaved to the wilful ways of whiskered worship, thus adorning them as goddesses. I believe the only way to rid themselves of the 'evil-eyed' cat was when a Pharaoh died, all his mogs went with him into the afterlife; hence such big pyramids.
Oh, loved the buzz @Robert Cormack!28/11/2017 #4 Robert Cormack#2 With Bukowski, @CityVP Manjit, it's best to start with "Post Office." I probably learned more about writing from him than any book on writing (outside of William Zinsser's "On Writing Well." These aren't just authors to you read to be entertained, in other words. You actually learn to write more honestly.28/11/2017 #3 Robert CormackIf you looked at the aerial shots of traffic on the LA freeway this Thanksgiving, @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, you realize how important it is for everyone to be normal ( and be like everybody else). If people actually thought for a minute, they'd realize how profoundly crazy it is following the herd. Why do we do it? Because we desperately want to be normal.#127/11/2017 #2 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI just read a Joseph Hirsch review of Bukowski or at least his personal opinion. In it Hirsch wrote "From Carson McCullers to Ivan Bunin and Knut Hamsun, I didn’t even know these writers existed, much less that they would become some of my favorites, until Hank told me about them".
I think I did hear the name Charles Bukowski one time in passing but the writer of that piece did not compel me to want to know more. This piece did open the door of my interest and especially in juxtaposition of the present mass media obsession of outing every guy who ever did something bad to a woman (Kevin Spacey excluded).
Having read this piece and Joseph Hirsch's piece here http://www.paragraphline.com/2014/07/31/the-bukowski-misogyny-thing-by-joseph-hirsch/ it has wet my appetite to bring Bukowski's life into my own realm of consciousness. There is a voyeuristic appeal from these two accounts that wants to peel into who this man really was without judging him a misogynist. Maybe I will end up not liking this man, but maybe I will, it is just a question of finding an account from someone without a dog in this race.
On this fast moving express train of modern media, I might get on the Bukowski train a bit later but at least now it is a train that is running and there is a kindling of desire for me to get on having read this particular post this morning.27/11/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 GallagherGreat message @Robert Cormack. So many hide behind their humor too. The world see's them laughing, cracking jokes (some funny, some not funny at all) but inside they may be screaming. As for cats, I have the opposite problem, I'm not fond of them ( I don't hate them, in case one of my cat loving friends reads this) but I swear they know I try to avoid them because every cat I'm around finds it's way to my lap no matter how much I try to ignore the cat. "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus
- Producer14/11/2017Happy Birthday Dada! The sadness is almost not there; Inner peace, understanding and knowledge dawned!Today I couldn't help recollecting and smiling at the happy moments spent with my Dad. The last outing we had was a trip to a famous church "The Basilica of Our Lady of Good Healthof Velankanni" down south of India, a city called Nagapattinam. The...
Comments25/11/2017 #21 Ken BoddieGrief never leaves us,
She answers not our why's,
She hugs us like a shadow,
And refuses our goodbyes.
She's there lest we forget,
When our loved ones slip away,
That their spirit lives in what we do,
And everything we say.
Fatima, I wrote this for another's grief but it may help with yours. Wear your Dada's lessons with pride and continue to be the proud daughter that you are.16/11/2017 #19 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsThank you for all the support I received from my friends here at beBee. Without you I would have found my healing to be very difficult. Thank you from the bottom of my heart @Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA View moreThank you for all the support I received from my friends here at beBee. Without you I would have found my healing to be very difficult. Thank you from the bottom of my heart @Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA
@Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee
@Ian Weinberg Pascal Derrien @Debasish Majumder Mr. Choudhury
Ms. Vanderburg @Laurent Boscherini
@Geoff Hudson-Searle Close15/11/2017 #15 Geoff Hudson-SearleBeautiful words @🐝 Fatima G. Williams whilst Parents provide unconditional love Grandparents in addition to unconditional love also provide wisdom, there is a wonderful quote by Alex Haley "Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children." This quote always resonates with me. I am sure you are much loved, Dada and the Angels looking over you. Happy Wednesday!15/11/2017 #11 AnonymousThank you @🐝 Fatima G. Williams for sharing your tremendous post. The parents’ ability to love unconditionally can have powerful effects. Seeing our loved ones in an eternal perspective, knowing that they are of infinite worth, helps us to look beyond their loss, as spreading their past gifts to new generations.14/11/2017 #1 Cyndi wilkinsAwe...This one is very special for me right now @🐝 Fatima G. Williams, as the holidays approach and I am remembering my dad as we lost him last New Years Eve:-(
He was very much a being of justice, generosity, truth, harmony, compassion, understanding, and goodwill...We will miss him terribly in our lives...but he always inhabits our hearts...Peace to you my friend... a big hug to you with a special birthday wish for your dada;-)
- Producer12/11/2017The Home Butterfly EffectThe idea of this buzz was triggered by a comment on LI by James Olcott, MBA. I asked James “your father was a sharp businessman. The question is why you didn't follow his steps? Was it your love of writing”? James responded as follows “As a...
Comments17/11/2017 #72 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#71 you know your words resonate with me @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. My youngest daughter is in Germany now. May be also the ease of communication has added to my peace of mind. But mostly due to Sara is a mature person to depend on her. In no way we shall have 100% peace of mind. However; I don't worry at the opposite extreme either.17/11/2017 #71 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#70 It really is a great feeling when we can sleep peacefully with no worries @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. I used to worry about my daughter a lot when she was a teen and in her early 20's. I did lose a lot of sleep then because I know females are vulnerable. Happily, they are both married and raising their own children and doing a great job! I'm glad you are very content :)) I'm sure your daughters all feel very special with their dad who is a good man with a good heart.17/11/2017 #70 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#69 I assure you of one thing @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. I am so happy anf contented with my daughters. Not only of my instinct love to them, but also djue to their respect for others, accomplishments and very healthy habits. It is great when we put our heads to sleep in peace and with no worry whstsoever from the kids.17/11/2017 #69 Lisa 🐝 Gallagheroops, sorry I posted and it cut off my comment, so I'm reposting it :) I think I hit enter too fast.
#56 I sounds like you and your wife had to create a fine balancing act with each other and raising your daughters together since you both did come from different backgrounds. From everything I've read, you've done a great job raising your girls together. I've often heard it can be hard for a man when he is surrounded in his home by all females ;-) The few photos I've seen of you with your daughter(s)?, I could see the love!!14/11/2017 #66 Lisa Vanderburg#25 couldn't agree more @James Olcott and @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#29 . we were very fortunate to be in our own business, so hubby took off pretty much a year and our kids were a year apart and we took them everywhere: we were very lucky! not many have that chance (cost us a fortune, but was well worth it). to have the father so delighted in his babies is pure blessing!14/11/2017 #63 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#61 Instead of location-location-location in marketing I would say position-position-position for social studies. So, dear @Lisa Vanderburg I agree with your finishing lines "Parents never get it 100% right, but starting from falling in love with your baby really helps"! The starting position is falling in love with your baby. Yes, because love at this early stage is felt. Respect comes later as the kids grow up and mainly for the sons.14/11/2017 #61 Lisa Vanderburg#9 #11 if it's of any help, i think good parenting just naturally means that parents adjust their ways according to the wont of their children. my brother has a 21 year old daughter that still sits on his lap in an act of natural love. i sure a hell would not have done that with my dad! boys tend to be more risk-takers; my boys were throwing a football when one slammed hard enough into a tree to scratch half his face off. it took every ounce NOT to run up and help him; he was about 14 and would hate it when i did that. my hubby said 'ouch...that'll smart' and then i could offer him a tissue ;)
but all this sort of behavior comes naturally and the game keeps changing as they age; it normal. Parents never get it 100% right, but starting from falling in love with your baby really helps!14/11/2017 #60 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#58 We need your "hands" dear @Lisa Vanderburg to communicate your brainy ideas.
How about making "voice comments"? This is a suggestion to @Javier 🐝 beBee. Truly, why can't we make voice comments?
I agree with you and I thank you Lisa for your elaboration.14/11/2017 #59 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#57 Thank you @Pascal Derrien for your comment raises new issues. Can parents even if they are "perfect" deal with the issues and threats such as addiction? Social jealousy and drive to cope with the new environments in which grown up kids once they leave home are enormous. Societal pressures may lead even kids who were fortunate to have great homes to yield sometimes. Much more exposed are kids who were not that fortunate.14/11/2017 #58 Lisa Vanderburg#8 apologies @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, my arm's in a cast so typing is going to be basic. to answer your question i must first say my comments related to how NOT to allow a child to grow to a healthy and functional adult, so the 'daughter effect' refers to well raised women. on that assumption, i'd assume that men who serially are less inclined to hire a women of equal qualities to, say, another male applicant, have a problem with women.14/11/2017 #57 Pascal DerrienI think your questions are relevant with the caveat that it is probably and only applicable when parents are fit for parenting, dysfunctional units don't necessarily carry self awareness or have any appetite to entertain theoretical values as they are way too busy dealing with addiction, mental health or any other issues that life is throwing at them yet I guess your points are valid ... :-)14/11/2017 #56 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#53 As usual, your comments have their special flavor @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. You share examples from your own experiences. Therefore we believe in what you share and get moved by it.
Let me share some of my own experience. My wife is half Circassian. They traditions are different from us. In their societies a girl must be treated like a queen. She must be given love. In contrast, the boys must be horsemen, manhood is of prime value to them. A man must show great respect for women. I have three daughters. You can see the attachment they have for their mother because she extended the same to them. I don't have a son and so would not be able to tell how would she have brought him up. However; I see the value of that "layer of love" covering the skins of the beloved. It has some drawbacks. My daughters are sensitive because they thought people are like mother. They got their disappointments, but learned fast the reality and adapted.
.14/11/2017 #55 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#52 Thank you dear @Ned McDonnell. Your comment is superb. Not a single human is free of defaults. The defaults of the parents could be "transmitted" to their kids. Your step-wise approach is only logical "Parents shape us and they have their drawbacks, some permanent which create those stumbling-blocks with which each of us has to manage, one day at a time".
You remind me of a post that I wrote sometimes ago in which I asked if human were born out of clay wouldn't they suffer the shortcomings of clay? Sometimes we see our parents as angels; they are not. However; I must add that the parents had more time to attend for their defaults than their kids.
I thank you also for providing the link to the discussion that involved the initial discussions that led to the writing of this buzz. Like you, so is @James Olcott. It is great to get involved in these discussions with both of you.14/11/2017 #53 Lisa 🐝 GallagherIt's true, boys and girls do differ. I have to say from birth my son and daughter differed greatly. I worked when my son was growing up, went to part time with my daughter, eventually staying home. My son was needier of my attention than my daughter. He also enjoyed snuggling much more and a lot longer than my daughter. Looking back, I truly believe my son had separation anxiety because we had a bad experience with one babysitter.
Everyone has their own 'space issues' too. My daughter is a lot like me, I need 3 ft of space between myself and others (just guestimating) and my son, well he's still loves to hug others he feels close to without seeming to have space issues.
Every child has different needs. Both of my kids are very caring and aren't afraid to show emotion (my son in particular). It's odd, my son seems to be more like me emotionally and my daughter is a lot like her dad... brushes a lot off (even when I think she shouldn't), cracks jokes when it's obvious she may need to talk about something a bit more serious. She will eventually share her deepest feelings with me. My husband worked many long hours while our kids were growing up so they spent much more time with me. I raised my son with the hopes that he knew it was OKAY to show emotion and realize it was also okay to cry... I didn't want him growing up as the typical male stereotype.
You wrote: "Babies find home the first place to socialize." Oh my gosh, yes! My granddaughter is so adjusted, she thinks her home is her palace and she is the princess of it. She's not spoiled though, I'm proud that my daughter is able to be stern if needed but she's careful how she uses her words.14/11/2017 #52 Ned McDonnellGreat to see a warm discussion between two respected friends, James Olcott and Dr Ali Anani, with many other insights besides. Parents shape us and they have their drawbacks, some permanent which create those stumbling-blocks with which each of us has to manage, one day at a time. There are instances, occasionally important, however, where 'aspects' of my relationship with my father represent my not growing beyond a prism in childhood, though my father had. After a while, left unattended, that prison becomes a prison. James honoured me in two respects this week.
PUBLISHING A DAD-STORY ON HIS CULTURAL BLOG
EDITING THE TEXT TO MAKE IT SING WITH THAT UNIQUELY OLCOTT WHIMSY.
- Producer11/11/2017Do You Feel in Control of Your Life?(Below is an excerpt from the first chapter of my new book, Life Mastery: The Fully Functional Life)Imagine yourself being a woman who is married, has two children, a career, and desires to serve others beyond her family. Her life is non-stop. When...
- Producer07/11/2017A Stand Alone CommentI am sure you can relate to my experiences of being drawn into dynamic posts and discussions. It is great to be able to share these posts but often just "liking" a comment doesn't feel enough. A few times in the past I shared comments off the...
Comments07/11/2017 #5 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#3 Dear @Sara Jacobovici Your stand-alone comment series makes me as commentator look at the words written as a reader. Because when we write a comment we look at it as a contributor but when we read a comment in a stand-alone buzz it throws alot of light on the what the writer was trying to say. Thank you for taking the time to do this for us all. Thank you, @Lisa Vanderburg Nothing shall not stop our river from flowing and flourishing :)
Sara , please if you can edit the last part to "take with us that which we can treasure for life" I spelt with as will :) Thank you once again.07/11/2017 #4 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#3 This buzz and the comment of @🐝 Fatima G. Williams and the message this morning from @Sara Jacobovici all provoked me a well to respond in a buzz. Such great feeling to write in this spirit dear @Lisa Vanderburg. I experienced it while writing my buzz today. I am sure you lived this experience.07/11/2017 #3 Lisa VanderburgLord above, I hear the cry of @🐝 Fatima G. Williams and I realize us all flowing beside her. Maybe we are an entirely different tributary or separated by tall grasses. some of us are caught up in debris or vortex' or rapids, and some of us are nearing the falls. We feel alone because we are alone, but that is the way of it.
Such beautiful words Fatima. That you for sharing this @Sara Jacobovici, and thanks for invoking it @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee!07/11/2017 #2 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeePursuant to my previous comment the inspiration of both ladies @Sara Jacobovici and @🐝 Fatima G. Williams is documented in my buzz of today
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/the-spontaneous-writer#c207/11/2017 #1 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeIt is an amazing synchronicity dear @Sara Jacobovici. In few minutes I shall be uploading a buzz On SPontaneous Writer. You shall find the synchronicity soon.
Dear@🐝 Fatima G. Williams- your comment deserves this great highlighting. It has all the ingredients that prompts a reader to react to it.
Thank you Sara for sharing this lovely buzz.
- Producer05/11/2017Glowing Hopes My phone rang. An old friend of mine was crying and requesting me to meet with him urgently. We met and found that he was living totally in darkness. His wife and kids deserted him. He lost his job. His father passed away in a tragic car...
Comments07/11/2017 #43 Lisa Vanderburg#41 Absolutely @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. This is a tool of immense power for both good and evil; great caution should always stay in our conscious mind during our use of this two-faced beast. The www should come with a warning: DANGER: harm and corruption may ensue while using this device!07/11/2017 #42 Lisa 🐝 GallagherWhat a great message @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Let us be the light that shines on others instead of the light that burns others. There will always be some who would rather take from someone and make them miserable but in the end, I think karma surely catches up. I never wish anything bad for anyone but sometimes lessons aren't learned until a person experiences their own darkness. It's with hope that those who have caused pain to others or take from others gain empathy if they find themselves in a similar situation. If everyone could just remember we are all human and every human has their flaws, maybe, just maybe the world would be a much better place.07/11/2017 #41 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#37 this comment of yours dear @Lisa Vanderburg is what I call Comment Concentrate. You summed up highly-relevant thoughts in your comment. Bravo
People who put lights on their social media face to deceive others are among the most wicked people. Even they managed to make ill-use of light and turn it to darkness for others.07/11/2017 #37 Lisa VanderburgYou draw the most enthralling comments, dear @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, and @Edward Lewellen's question, @Sara Jacobovici's musing brings up very important issues; have some become so adept at deception, do they even know they are deceiving anymore? Edward also said the book he's reading 'details how people assume personas over the Internet they would not in person'. I'm deliberately surmising we all do that; we are not the person we appear to be, but in a way, we are better?
I react. Someone unknowingly walks in front of a car; I stop them. Someone screams for help; I go and help. All of us here would do the same I think. These random acts are really devoid of thought; mere instinct. But am I that same person on a keyboard? Dunno....great thoughts you raise!06/11/2017 #36 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#31 dear @Sara Jacobovici just reading this from your comment shows your depth of understanding "So, it is not really surprising that we can be deceived by the light we see emanating from a person".
You give great explanation that not all lights are "safe". This is what we experience with deceptive people who give light of hope to others only to cheat them. The scientific reasoning is sound. I consider your comment as an integral part of this buzz. Thank you06/11/2017 #35 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#31 dear @Sara Jacobovici- just reading this from your commentvshoes your depth of understanding "So, it is not really surprising that we can be deceived by the light we see emanating from a person".
You vive great explanation that not all lights are "safe". This is what we experience with deceptive people eho give light of hope to others only to cheat them. The scientific reasoning is sound. I consider your comment as an integral part of this buzz. Thank you06/11/2017 #33 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#29 dear friend @Edward Lewellen I felt nostalgic while reading your comment. I remembered our experiences. Itvhad been a nourney in ehich ee both experiencef The Cyber Effect.
Yes, relations take time to build and develop common understanding. Ours has been fruitful and filled with the light of attention and caring for each other. Light is right in our formidable friendship.
- Producer27/09/2017DILEMMADilemma. It’s a delicious word; one I keep repeating. I find myself rolling it ‘round my mouth until my tongue splits like a serpent. Why is that? It’s a two-tined word.'1520s, from Late Latin dilemma, from Greek dilemma "double proposition," a...
Comments01/10/2017 #78 Lisa Vanderburg@Cyndi wilkins...I also find children to be wonderful! https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lisa-vanderburg/introspection
You brought up kids..... :)01/10/2017 #75 Lisa Vanderburg#74 Darn tootin' @CityVP 🐝 Manjit! If I could reiterate your whole comment, I would, but 'Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship.' Never a truer statement for mature adults! I agree that the age of reaching maturity is a huge band; seems to me that is particularly so in the first world, where the disparity between mature '21-year olds' appears enormous....could be I'm just getting old.01/10/2017 #74 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#73 Even though coming of age is meant to be a right of passage, it is also an assumption that this is when the teenage brain matures into the adult brain. Sometimes the difference between 19 and 25 can be night and day, so there is no magic 21 for any of us. There are ways of mitigating reckless behaviour but there are so many factors and variables that mean we need to understand a child in the context of their given experiences and development. I would not be surprised to learn of people whose actual coming of age was 37 !!!
At the same time a very upright and mature individual can have a moment of extreme childishness because after all, we are only human and having an adult brain does not necessarily confer adult behaviour. Maturity is as rational as irrationality and whether it is brutal girls, macho boys or soccer moms, I think we all have moments in our lives which are not our finer moments. What we don't want in those moments is someone to become the action replay booth. It is uncomfortable to have someone replay our actions when we know that those actions were not ones where we were at our best.
Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship. If we have a relationship, we protect and nurture relationships, but whether it is a teenage brain not wired for sensitivities or insensitive moron who has the relationship of a pile of pigswill, there is a point where we become mindful of a relationship and feedback. As we evolve as human beings, we hopefully will also evolve in our ability to create quality relationships. Not political correctness or being woke, but the recognition that we will fail more than we succeed in developing quality relationships that are limited also by our scope.01/10/2017 #73 Cyndi wilkins#72 Well...I was only twelve at the time;-) I've learned a lot about letting boys be boys since then... Still applies when they are men;-) I'll tell you what though, guys are a hell of lot easier on each other than we lil' bitches at that age...My daughter is in middle school now and these girls are brutal...posting inappropriate photos and bad mouthing classmates online to humiliate them to their peers...THAT is the kind of stuff that worries me more than anything...Children do not have the mental maturity at this age to discern and think for themselves when being bullied...and too often these things lead to horrible tragedies...This is where we should ALL be focusing more of our attention...What kind of example are we setting for our children?30/09/2017 #70 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#69 There are certain characteristics of animal kingdom ritual that human beings still have kinship and machismo is just one element in the bag of ego that convinces some that they are being men of reason, when the reality would only be known if we got David Attenborough to narrate in the distance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQI5KUfM2xc
"The male seals begin to taunt each other and this exposes the weakest of the herd, but in the distance something unusual has occurred, a single dolphin (with a sizeable brain) tries to come to the aid of the weakest seal and the seals do not appreciate the interaction of this species. The dolphin immediately retreats realizing it has made life more rather than easier for the weakest in the seal herd"
It is not so much lessons learned for me as observing life the way David Attenborough would look at it - pull back and watch the show and then try to figure out what brews behind the behaviour.30/09/2017 #69 Cyndi wilkins"It pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space."
I love this comment @CityVP 🐝 Manjit because it reminds me of a memory in sixth grade when I really had a thing for this boy in my class...We were really good friends and I liked having the attention of a 'boy' friend;-) Then one afternoon I happened upon an incident on the playground where my friend was being pushed around and taunted by a group of others boys...Naturally I felt the need to come to the defense of my friend...much to his disapproval at my butting in on a 'guy thing.'
Unfortunately, I only succeeded in embarrassing him and he never spoke to me again...Lesson learned.30/09/2017 #68 Lisa Vanderburg#67 Amen, brother @CityVP 🐝 Manjit - thank you so much for your thoughtful and witty comments! I agree; I like diversity...would be a very dull play without it. And I love your understanding of 'batty-boys' & catty girls :) It's refreshing to jump in each other's sand-pits and get a bit gritty, just leave the mace, arrows and shiv out, or there will be tears before bedtime! :)30/09/2017 #67 CityVP 🐝 ManjitSocial media is not as well developed as our living room media, and so there is no Viewers Discretion warnings on social media buzzes. I love diversity and as much as I am often piggy in the middle and am cool with the mainstream, I like being a witness to the edges and the extremes - because that encompasses diversity.
When the batty boys start batting, I recognize where they play and the critical level of discourse that ensues. That is far different from the immoral troll who is a diaper sized kid trying to get off on yanking people's chain. So social media when it is best has different sandpits to play in, and it is not just about providing room for the voice of the batty boys, it is also room for the fighting cats. I see more cat-fights in the offline world than I do online but this is not about bullying, but the extremes of human expression - and what I find most intriguing is when a batty boy considers critical thought as an argument when it is between batty boys and we consider it a cat-fight when it is women exchanging vociferous argument.
Other than the odd weirdo or troll, one should not be playing rugby in a tennis match, nor tennis in a rugby match. If the conversation is a political or cerebral sport then it pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space. Why engage in a conversation where historical precedent shows that there is a higher degree of getting our noses out of joint. At the same time, the same regard for context should be held by batty boys and fighting-cats.
If a space has a civil context and the conversation is nuanced and very deep, having a grunge band opinion cutting through is simply someone who is out of touch. Morality and ethics has a higher plain than online conversation, and a higher bar on ethics and morality does not place a ban or censure on the lowest common denominator. My first goal is to welcome diversity.30/09/2017 #66 Lisa VanderburgWelcome @JosephDavid Thomas! Posting a buzz here is a bit of a challenge....for me, anyhoo! Can't keep my headers the same size :) You're right though, how dilemma could also be easily translated to 'double-speak'.
Thanks Ambassador and dear friend @Deb 🐝 Helfrich!30/09/2017 #65 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#64 Hey there, @JosephDavid Thomas. Being brand new, you misinterpreted who shared the article with who authored it.
Easy mistake to make while scrolling the feed the first time.
Distribution on beBee isn't algorithmically controlled, but rather all about the human level shares.
So the sharer's picture shows above the author's.
No harm, no foul, we are all friends around here! And love to chat.29/09/2017 #62 Cyndi wilkins#54 " Take into account those authors that take a reasonable statement that does not align with their post/buzz, and use it to pulverize the commenter."
Agreed...So down regulate the emotion...Anger begets anger...so choose the opposing energy of gratitude instead by responding to such behavior peacefully...That in and of itself is empowering to YOU...the RESPONDER...Nothing is more disarming than a smile...Sure...they may shoot you in the head for it, but you'll go down smiling;-)
Okay, I'll shut up now and let 'da boys' talk!
- Producer29/09/2017Purposeful AngerThere are several wonderful conversations buzzing around the 'hives' lately addressing the behaviors that many of us find offensive and unacceptable on social media...or anywhere else for that matter. The comments sections are rich with input from...
Comments02/10/2017 #47 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#46 thank you for having written such a wonderful post @Cyndi wilkins02/10/2017 #46 Cyndi wilkins"It is a cry for attention, we need to listen to it. It is part of being human."
Nailed it @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc....Thank you for sharing;-)02/10/2017 #45 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.our healing bee @Cyndi wilkins has something very important to say, read it!02/10/2017 #44 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#1 thank you for the tag @Cyndi wilkins, wonderful post, yes, let us bee compassionate, when we take well care of anger, it can be transformed in a more positive emotion. It is a cry for attention, we need to listen to it. It is part of being human.01/10/2017 #43 Cyndi wilkins#41 @Martin Wright...I love how you take the frustration of dealing with scammers and turn it into brilliant detective work;-) If anyone out there is receiving emails for jobs that sound too good to be true, I suggest you click on Martin's link and do a little detective work of your own! Thanks for sharing that Martin;-)01/10/2017 #42 Cyndi wilkinsThank you for the share @CityVP 🐝 Manjit...I think this is a very important conversation for everyone to be having within all relationships...personal and professional. And most especially with our children...as they are growing up in this new age of technology...learning to communicate with clarity and respect is key for their success in any circumstance....Once you put it out there, you cannot just take it back;-)01/10/2017 #41 Martin Wright@Cyndi Wilkins to Watch Out for
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/scammers-still-try-new-one-watch-out-martin-wright01/10/2017 #36 Cyndi wilkinsI absolutely agree @David B. Grinberg, that constructive criticism and/or discussion of professional differences are not only possible but essential to creating the diversity necessary to implement meaningful change...and I always welcome the thoughts of @Phil Friedman for his unique ability to effect just such changes in perception...and that is the bottom line here...Respectfully....
I will refer to a comment made by @CityVP 🐝 Manjit on the original post by @Lisa Vanderburg at the center point of this buzz...
"If the conversation is a political or cerebral sport then it pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space."
Thank you so kindly for your input on this VERY important issue...If we behave badly, what example are we setting for our children...01/10/2017 #35 David B. GrinbergCyndi, while I haven't been privy to the discussion you mention in some hives, my own advice is simple: social media users should always to do their best to keep it positive, constructive and cordial regardless of the platform -- and especially here on beBee to maintain a professional image for all bees and the brand.
There's never a good excuse for bullying behavior via social media, much less bad manners or trash talk -- all of which only hurts the personal brand of the person causing trouble (ie. the term "troll"). Moreover, as my friend @Phil Friedman has previously pointed out, it's certainly possible (and advisable) to contribute constructive comments to an open online dialogue even when one is expressing disagreement. There's nothing wrong with having strong opinions, just don't be abusive online.
The worst choice IMHO is to engage in petty personal attacks, especially involving partisan politics.
To the contrary, it's always best -- in the short run and long term -- to take the high road, even when strongly disputing one's points. Just do it in a respectful manner and treat others on social media the same way you want to be treated. Thanks for considering these points and keep buzzing!
cc: @Javier 🐝 beBee30/09/2017 #34 Cyndi wilkins#33 @Martin Wright...That is a perfect example for the naming of this 'buzz'...Purposeful Anger... I would love for you to share a link here to an article you were motivated to write as a result of having been triggered by anger...We can turn this frown upside down;-)30/09/2017 #32 Lisa Vanderburg#16 Well @Brian McKenzie...you have a very good point. If we were all sitting around a table, I expect we'd be able to see the shades of our own coats and that would help us converse better. I know there have been a lot of buzzes/posts on this of late, but the way I see it; it's been fruitful and helping a lot of us (especially me!) understand the many choices we have in our responses not only to discuss the buzzee, but to evolve the comments, thus the conversation. I think it's healthy and much needed, or we all end up in the stone-age of FB :) BTW, I say that with good intent and respect!30/09/2017 #31 Lisa Vanderburg#6 As kids, me and my sister (after receiving a thrashing) used to sit in the bath-tub and play 'slap'. We took it in turns to slap each other fairly gently (...okay, sometimes) round the face. It always ended up in schlapplakker. Look what's come out of all this - understanding and I'm fairly sure I'm building another brain-cell...that makes THREE!! :)30/09/2017 #28 Kevin BakerIt is very important to not react but to empathize just what could be the motivation of intention, and then act even if it is to not act. All anyone can do is not pass it on and let the energy dissipate, leaving the room for something positive to emerge and grow forward. Bravo @Cyndi wilkins
- Producer10/09/2017Proxy Music I am reading a book called '' This Is a Call: The Life and Times of Dave Grohl '' by Paul Branningan. Paul is a rock journalist who met Grohl more than two decades ago. It is a pretty good read I must say. Dave is a few years older than me but I can...
Comments12/09/2017 #17 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorAh, dreams of the young and musically gifted don't always end well, unfortunately. Fame isn't meant for everyone and holding on to fame can be difficult. There's always the fear that your popularity will take a dive. We lose too many entertainers to drugs and alcohol, and before their time.
I amazed by older groups, in age and popularity, that can remain relevant. Long live The Rolling Stones.11/09/2017 #16 Harvey Lloyd#15 WIth no empirical or cultural evidence or understanding i would say that the artists of my generation (Boomers) were accidental artists. They had a song and story just wanted to sing it.
Today's commercial one hit wonder bands seem to be the product of the machine. Hell Americans got sold a pet rock and sofas to lay them on. Marketing at its finest.
Most importantly the drama of the musical, paralleled some of our own dramas and allowed us kindred moments.
The ears in today's video world are a neglected appendage, that in my youth i didn't need visual stimulation i could see the video of the artist in my mind.
I retreat there often and remember the days that imagination was king and artists could fuel the journey.11/09/2017 #14 Harvey LloydI walked into my my big box retailer one day and saw "my" music on sale, what a glorious day. I was able to add to the CD collection over the next months as all "my" music was on sale. One day i walked in and realized that "my" music really wasn't on sale but had been relegated to the bargain bin. The follow up realization was, like "my" music i was old.
So in an effort to retain my youth i began to sample the new music. I tried, i really did, but it was like a bag of potato chips that once opened was empty. Being my deep thinking self i reviewed and compared what the difference was between the music of "mine" and "theirs".
"My" music was born from a tortured life that through music the story was told. The instruments and singers seemed to be telling the story through some time space continuum that i aligned with, or maybe the chemicals added that part. "Their" music was commercially produced to try and artificially produce a persona of a tortured life.
It would appear that pain and suffering produce the music that survives the latest heart throb singer.
Great read and thanks for the memories and thoughts.11/09/2017 #12 Devesh 🐝 BhattMaybe it is not the fame. Maybe they think success can make it better.
Then they realise, it is the same bullshit everywhere all the time.
But they would think differently about it.
You thought differently about it. But Some corporate psycho may even put this into a spin.
many places in this world is bullshit spirals into shameless ignorance. where people die for the most insignificant of reasons, no one cares cause they had no talent to show for. They weren't starving or sick or deprived of basic amenities, their lives and deaths were both governed by the shamelessness of the rest.10/09/2017 #11 Pascal Derrien#10 it's the never ending journey of the grass is greener elsewhere syndrome, in the case of Cobain in particular once he reached his goal he found out he had ended up in a nightmare where even his artistry was manipulated in turn it did accelerate his addcition and we all know what happened next @Ian Weinberg :-(10/09/2017 #10 Ian WeinbergI believe you've nailed it @Pascal Derrien That's the plot and the same script plays through each time. I'd often wondered why there was so much talent among those with the greatest nurture deprivation. I guess they needed to seek alternative gratification in some activity and hence emerged a talent. But with this came low self-esteem and the belief that they were less important than others - the full low resilience talent package! Perfect cannon fodder for the fat-fingered corporates to exploit and discard. Who ever said that there was justice in the world?10/09/2017 #6 Pascal Derrien#5 Indeed @David B. Grinberg, Grohl had only joined the band on their second album coming from Scream he had a huge reputation as a drummer though in the circuit , he started working on his music while sharing a house with Kurt, was it self preservation or instinct but he sheltered himself well from the Courtney/Kurt circus :-) Once Sub Pop their initial label had to let them go (but took a big cheque) things started to go haywire :-(10/09/2017 #5 David B. GrinbergThanks for this buzzing blog post, Pascal. I have a few thoughts, as a big fan of both Nirvana and the Foo Fighters:
1) Last night, MTV again featured the Foo Fighters epic 2009 concert at Wembley Stadium in the UK. One of the big surprises occurred when Jimmy Page came on as a special guest to jam a Led Zeppelin song with the band. Awesome!
2) Nirvana peaked during the early 1990s when I was in college. Back then, Dave Grohl was a very young drummer who wasn't really part of the Nirvana media spotlight with all the focus on Kurt and Courtney Love. However, he patiently waited until it was his time to shine later as the front man with the Foo Fighters. This serves as a good lesson about being modest, humble and leaving the spotlight to others until it shines on you.
3) Like so many famous musicians and artists before him, Kurt was a tortured soul. However, his creativity and musical genius spoke volumes about what was inside of the man, which he poured out through his lyrics and music. May he RIP.
4) Nirvana's big hit single back then -- "Smells Like Teen Spirit" -- alluded to a mass of young people (Gen Xers) who were perceived as disillusioned, disconnected and self-absorbed slackers. Ironically, this is the same as how some media have misportrayed Millennials.10/09/2017 #3 Pascal Derrien#1 thanks @Gert Scholtz I remember a big cheese from Sony Music telling me about the second band I managed '' your guys are really good and way above the average but your band lead is a liability ,he will not last two albums and we will lose money therefore.....'' :-)10/09/2017 #2 CityVP 🐝 ManjitFame is a horrible bubble that the most sensitive of beings can spin in and submerge in its vortex. Would Kurt Cobain have killed himself if his depression was not further enhanced by the spin of fame, that we don't know but we do know that Cobain hated being famous, yet loved his art. This twin condition is a love and hate relationship that depression turns into a personal hurricane. The same is true for David Foster Wallace.
It is true that pharmacological compounds can be a lightening rod of trouble themselves - big pharma has no claim to targeted therapy that have a single purpose and leave the rest of the body untouched, but there are signs that some research organizations are beginning to see the merits of natural remedies - one's human beings discovered through trial and error rather than FDA regulations - but it is a slow movement to that world because the profit motive wants IP protection on any discovery, that ironically was already discovered through trial and error, but which has not been accepted by western medicine chieftains.
What we do know is that music should in theory have a great therapeutic effect, but it is the culture of profit that robs us from owning that as emotional protection and even musicians today are concerned about the theft of music through free distribution, and musicians do still need to make a living - but music culture also is a stifling piss pot where musicians have been robbed by the contracts lawyers bound them to - so whether it is piracy that robs them or corporate landlords - it is indeed a helter-skelter world to be a famous rock musician. Worse today is the rise of artists worth more dead than alive, which begs to question whether Micheal Jackson and Prince died because of bizarre circumstances, or profit motive. We just don't know.
- Producer09/09/2017To be right you have to have someone to say you are wrongIf you wait to write a buzz that everybody would agree with you then you shall never write one. However; not all differing comments shall be of the same level or category. Some comments will invoke new ideas, expand on the original idea, offer...
Comments15/09/2017 #95 Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBeeAhhh yes. I often just walk away from an angry prick. (oops) Someone who is oily or bloody often has issues of his/her own which attempt to "bleed" over into the lives of others. I have no time to psychoanalyze these ******. I just move on and take an occasional peek backwards.12/09/2017 #92 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#91 As much as I agree with you @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher I am glad that I did. This experience uncovered the great passion of other bees to stand against ill-behaviors. Besides, it lead me to write my last three buzzes that attracted more than 300 comments. I wrote a presentation on Stupidity Spawns Creativity and this was the case. However; I don't belive I would do the same again and just ignore and keep on my way should this happen again.12/09/2017 #91 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#90 First, Im sorry that happened. It has happened to me before and I responded politely because I was bewildered. I then became defensive and that just causes more internal frustration. Ive learened that some people enjoy picking others apart, does it make them feel superior, I dont know. I try my best to ignore people who are intentionality cruel now. They are not worth your precious time, not deserving of a response. No response in cases like that are best.12/09/2017 #90 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#89 Exclusion is better than feeling inside as a sheep. If we don't stand by our believes we become sheep and cheap. I agree all the way with you @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. If you know that I read only one of your buzzes and I write a comment stating "Your posts are vacuous and empty of any meaning, what would you do? This is exactly what I experienced and I meant my question to address this issue. To ignore, to respond or what?12/09/2017 #89 Lisa 🐝 GallagherHi @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, you asked if we should run from negative comments or confront them? I think it depends on the situation. For example, I listened to negative comments about a few co-workers from my superiors. I tried to ignore the comments because I was new and didn't want to get on the wrong side of my boss and a few others. At some point, I had to make a choice; that choice was to either stand up for what was right or pretend to be a sheep. Maybe if a person pretends to be a sheep, eventually they become one? I began to speak out and I must say, that was the beginning of my ostracizing! It began slow but it was methodical. In the end, I had to leave - I can't work with people who only care about themselves. I can't work with gossipy, unhappy people. Before I left, 2 others did. Since I left 3 yrs ago, 7-8 more people have left as well.11/09/2017 #88 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeI want to thank you @Lada 🏡 Prkic for sharing the buzz. I understand your points fully. This buzz led to some interesting discussion, which are summed up (in part) in my buzz of today on "visual flows of ideas". The energy consumed in writing constructive comments may bring to fruition the tree of discussions.11/09/2017 #87 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeI summarized the key points in the discussions here and on my previous buzz in a new buzz "Visual Flow of Ideas"
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/visual-flow-of-ideas View moreI summarized the key points in the discussions here and on my previous buzz in a new buzz "Visual Flow of Ideas"
I hope I succeeded in my mission. Close10/09/2017 #86 Lisa Vanderburg#84 As I let your words absorb @CityVP 🐝 Manjit, I cannot help but juxtapose those images I've been tied to far too long of Hurricane Irma. I totally understand when you say 'we are immersed in information 24/7'; both the healthy and the unhealthy aspects of how live live now in the first world.
You bring us a reminder of our frailty amongst all the 'trophies' we think we have, but we are mere flesh; we wound, we hurt. That's what I understand from you and I am humbled. Thank you!10/09/2017 #85 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#84 You always add a new layer to the discussion. Yes., your reference to stain s in our behaviors that resulted in repeating dark ages. If we aspire to reach he golden age we must clean our staining beliefs, thoughts, actions and intentions. We must be clean of internal stains that make us see the world as dark and deprive us from enjoying nature and its miracles to learn from and advance.
I wish you @CityVP 🐝 Manjit a safe journey to the golden age. I know that obstacles shall not deter you.10/09/2017 #84 CityVP 🐝 ManjitIn the history of humanity there have been more dark ages than there have been golden ages. So rare are golden ages that some scholars doubt whether the golden age we may cite was indeed a golden age or our mythical view of a golden age. What is fundamentally different about our century is that we are immersed in information 24/7 and those born to this century, accompany a new form of history, which is a fully recorded life. As virtual reality comes into being we will see the next generation be able to save a 3-dimensional history.
There is no question that we are not removed from the effects of the dark ages or that we are close to the kind of golden age that is realized through elevation of what it is we call our humanity and rising tide of education that is full bodied i.e. not simply prescription to an age of reason but reason that is a part of an age of life.
So now I can talk about stains and as a human being I am skin and bone, rather than cloth. I may bare the scars of physical injury if my life was exposed to physical damage or I may carry mental injury if my life was exposed to dark aged mentalities. So when it comes to stains that can be removed, we engage in the modern convenience of washing. That is if we happen to live in a part of the world where utilities are fully functioning. We have not reached an age of clean energy, abundant fresh water supply or livable cities - but we are getting there. The cleansing of our spirit encompasses the state of being of our time, and the recognition that dark age minds continue the past, but the possibilities of a golden age, that is the hope we harbor.
How we wash ourselves of stains depends on how fortunate our own living space is. There are darker places on Earth than ours. In this I count my blessings as I seek a pathway to a golden age.10/09/2017 #82 Lisa Vanderburg#81 Oh, forgive my comment then @Ian Weinberg; as you will know of the content, I'm confused at your question? That said, I do not include myself with those here that are working towards fruitful resolution - I'm far too distracted today because my family is in the way of Irma. But I do want to be clear to you, with the greatest respect, that there is no advantage in reopening wounds. As an eminent Neurosurgeon, I'm sure you understand. Kind regards10/09/2017 #79 Lisa Vanderburg#74 @Ian Weinberg repectfully Sir, I would look at @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee last two posts here, if you want the answer to 'But for my clarification I wish to ask what the specific grievance is?'
It would not serve to re-hash that here and now, where great progress is being made by clear-thinking minds. Many thanks...just IMHO! :)10/09/2017 #78 Lisa Vanderburg#58 To all you wisdom @Harvey Lloyd, I tip my hat, Sir! Still trying to work out your XY grid thing #66, but that just shows the limit of my intelligence :)
I am remiss and distracted with a million messages to my son & family & extended in FLA (that you for your good wishes @Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA & @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee & anyone else I missed).
Seems to me you are all evolving a better was of practice to this platform....you should get a bleedin' knight-hood as far as I'm concerned! :)10/09/2017 #76 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#74 You are a wise man @Ian Weinberg to write "I take issue with your content and approach. I perceive no value contribution from you in this context and respectfully request that you disengage". I applied almost the same approach. I don't dispute it in any way.
You add in your comment "But we cannot change others or their values - we engage, attempt non judgemental dialogue in order to gain value from the interaction and contribute our value-add". Again, I don't dispute this either and I am in deep appreciation of it. This is exactly what we are experiencing here with so many new ideas emerging. I assure you I can write a book on those new ideas and shall soon review them in a buzz. The positivity with which commentors tackled the initial issue made all of us better and enriched with new ideas as are exemplified in the last few comments on this buzz.
Sometimes the topic might be of little importance for some readers, but the comments branch out into new thinking. Creativity after all is to create a butterfly effects from small issues and create significant new possibilities.10/09/2017 #75 Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA#74 Good day Dr. @Ian Weinberg...hope you are having a great Sunday in (sunny? SA. Thanks for your illuminating comment.Remind me never to even think about crossing paths with you Oom Ian...lol.
Diplomacy "the fine art of telling someone to go to h..l in such a manner that he looks forward to the trip!"
- Producer03/07/2016Way of the Peaceful Warrior !Be strong and know your limitless potentialBe confident and remember your uniquenessBe certain and value your own decisionsBe tough and remember the warrior within Life's battles are not always in a battlefieldFate may have different paths for us to...
Comments10/09/2017 #15 Savvy Raj#14 @CityVP 🐝 Manjit
I am truly honoured to read this. In fact speaking of poems , when poetry flows, at times it catches the writer in surprise of its flow and every heartfelt poem is an emotional connect ... will share a few lines from one of my recent verses on Poems and emotions.
Poems are thoughts from feeling
In the sensing of emotions
Writing is a pleasure reading is a joy.
Emotions dance in reading through the verses.
And the feelings wonderfully embedded
In the thinking between the words and spaces.
Yes like us, emotions and poems are inextricable by far…
Coming to this particular poem on The way of the Peaceful Warrior I had a strong sense of connectedness while writing this one and was aware that there was more to this someday in future. But I guess I now understand why 😊
Thank you for your kind mention of this poem that is in a way also connecting many dots in the circle of peace.10/09/2017 #14 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI actually found this through the Christoph Eberhard.interview at https://www.bebee.com/producer/@savvy-raj/the-peaceful-warrior and I am glad because this is a jewel of poem that somehow evaded or got missed on my beBee radar. At first I thought you had copied this poem from the work of a great poet, but in the sign off I realized you are the great poet ! Absolutely brilliant Savvy and now I will get back to the original link and read your interview with Christoph.
- Producer03/09/2017Is suicide the only way? You are worth more than what the system requires of you!#NEET a money-making scam or does it really benefit students? I've been reading and seeing how #NEET will actually help students, but somehow inspite of the all that the AIMC (All India Medical Committee) says, it's to bring uniformity to education...
Comments14/09/2017 #25 Savvy RajThis is very very relevant.@🐝 Fatima G. Williams A much needed writeup. You are mentioned in my recent buzz that is inspired through these reflections.
Thank you for sharing about this.14/09/2017 #24 Lisa 🐝 GallagherSuch a sad story. It's very sad to think she probably could have met her dream at some point but became very disillusioned after the courts said, no. We do need to be there for everyone (as we can). Too many tragic stories of suicides and I think many reach a point that they feel they can't 'reach out' to others. I thank @Lance 🐝 Scoular for reminding us that it's RUOK day. Thank you for sharing this sad but truthful story @🐝 Fatima G. Williams06/09/2017 #17 Cyndi wilkins#16 I can certainly vouch for that @🐝 Fatima G. Williams...I've been 'Humpty Dumpty' many times throughout my life and learned the only one who could put me back together again is ME...People will come and go...some will love and support you, some will hurt you and never give a hoot that they've done so...
Reminds me of that quote from Maya Angelou..."People will forget what you've said, and even forget what you did...but they will never forget how you made them feel."
So the very best thing we all can do as parents is to teach our children to always be humble and kind...even in the face of being mistreated...That is not to say that you roll over and allow yourself to be abused, quite the contrary...It is an extraordinary show of strength to be able to look adversity in the eye and say, "No matter what happens, as long as I keep getting up and putting my best foot forward, I will always be on the right path."06/09/2017 #16 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#15 Thank you @Cyndi wilkins You are so right about parents stepping up in this. "So teach your children how to win for sure". Parents pamper their children so much that they give them the world. Teach them how to win and to lose as well, show them how it feels to sacrifice our favorite things for others, share with them not only your successes but your mistakes and failures. Stop portraying yourself as the perfect parent, because we all fell down many times before we learnt to walk.06/09/2017 #15 Cyndi wilkinsWe can start with our own children...by teaching them acceptance of their circumstances...The world can be a very cruel place, so as parents we tend to focus on how to teach our children how to be successful...grab the brass ring so to speak. But not many of us will discuss the possibility of failure...what happens when we fail...and we will...at some point or another we ALL do. That is how we learn...Growth is painful...and in those difficulties we are made aware of just how strong we really are when we can rise up to the challenge of being knocked on our ass...So teach your children how to win for sure...but also how to lose gracefully...Because sure as shit tomorrow will bring you another opportunity to knock one out of the park;-)
My deepest condolences to the soul who takes their own life...but rest assured... you will be given another chance at bat...04/09/2017 #12 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#10 You name rightly says about you Lyon.Brave is what you are. Not everyone gets a silver spoon, yes the rich get richer and the poor can get richer. But we need to change the system for this to happen.
It's starts of with you and me showing everyone how we beat the odds. How We stood up for ourselves. #Stayawesomealways04/09/2017 #11 Tausif MundrawalaI think mugging notes and not undestanding the fundamentals wreaks havoc with one's career. Peers and teachers play an important role in guiding them how to fare well in the subject chosen by them. If given opportunity I want to contribute as much as I can. Thabks for this buzz my friend @🐝 Fatima G. Williams04/09/2017 #10 Lyon Bravei do not know Fatima. I do not want to make judgememts about the girls suicide but of she took her own life because she did poor on am exam or thought ahe could not go to medical school that was still a personal decision. I have been rejected from a lot and i am still here. Many people are rejected and beat up bu life an still here.
We have to have standards. Perhaps a lot od the things i was rejected from i really was not right for or the best choice. you hav to have thick skin for this world and be willing to give up on a dream to go find jew one.04/09/2017 #9 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#6 But we can change the system, it starts off with a few voices and over many years where justice or truth cannot be beaten down, it scales to a tipping point, and then the system changes. Why do I oppose words like "successful personal branding" and "winning online presence"? These are words that are used here at beBee and they set the very conditioning of mindset which does not embrace failure.
When Anita failed, her life failed and the world lost a brilliant person. The world did not lose a personal brand nor did the world lose a winning online presence, the world lost one more unit of humanity consumed by image makers and people who are not thinking that the image they sell contributes to a world where failure is feared.
The value of awareness here is if it saves the life of one human being, so we should be talking about what leads people to suicide but the system is not that which is beyond us, the system is us - and if we don't believe that, then one day, someone who we love and could never imagine could end their lives, will do so. Then it is too late to know what the system was and how even the tiniest effort on our part to change it, is a contribution to the transformation of the whole.04/09/2017 #7 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#2 You and I know how many youngsters like you have fought against all the odds and succeeded. How many became successful entrepreneurs, tech geeks, entrepreneurs. The same year Mark began facebook, I was in high school. If we had access to internet then in India like I did now, even I could have started something.The problem is I was trained only to be an employee for organisations and not to be a leader or an entrepreneur. We need show them that everyone is special, talented and unique. I want to start with changing the negative mentality built in people, let them know that their lives are lives as well. That they deserve to be valued and I'll start with you to spread the message.04/09/2017 #6 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#1 #3 The problem is the sand of injustice makes these drops of awareness evaporate. We are like dog barking at the rains. I just want youngsters to understand that educational degrees are just to enable us to brush up and enhance our interests. It should not be, the only weapon of survival.
We can't change the system, we need to start with the people in the system.
- ProducerEL AUTISMO LAS HA CREADO: SON LAS MADRES GUERRERASCualquier madre es una guerrera. La madre de un niño autista es una guerrera que fue derribada por la vida por un golpe certero y destinado a su corazón. Fue derribada, y sus armas cayeron al suelo al mismo tiempo que las expectativas de un hijo,...
Comments28/08/2017 #31 Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador#30 thank you very much, City VP your words help me keep writingyour words help me keep writing26/08/2017 #30 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI love the sword and shield metaphor and the quality of your writing to describe the challenges mothers face and the nature of battle with autism. Your writing style keeps delivering the human touch with felt-experience of autism - great writing that also has a great purpose, that is a great combination.
BTW Have you heard of WrongPlanet website is here http://wrongplanet.net/ It is an interesting community of people discussing asperger and autism.26/08/2017 #29 Carmen 🐝 Juanes LuisPor ellas @Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador, ejemplazo de mujeres y de madres.
Muy buena la foto @David 🐝 Martín Alonso.25/08/2017 #28 Sonia Roselló PuigUn fuerte abrazo @Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador, enorme!!!!25/08/2017 #25 Adela Garcia@Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador, ..... GRACIAS!!! Por todas las madres, y como madre por la parte que me toca. Nadie, ni siquiera una madre sabe hasta donde puede llegar, porque siempre, siempre llegaremos hasta donde haya que llegar. Así de simple, así de real, así de cruel y así de sencillo. Unha aperta!!!25/08/2017 #21 Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador#19 @Jorge 🐝 Carballo Pérez eres un crack....oye por Dios no dejes de hacer eso que me parto.........ay dios que buen rato me has hecho pasar...Por Dios yo ya quiero siempre mi chiste de los viernes, jejejejej gracias por sacar sonrisas tío25/08/2017 #18 Irene 🐝 Rodriguez Escolar#14 #17 #16 🤔, no veo que se haya referido a él como mujer.
Ha puesto "ellas son y serán las mejores" y con eso Fernando podrá o no podrá estar de acuerdo.
Por cierto tito Jorge. Si has comenzado el año...
¿Y los chistes del viernes? @Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador, creo que no te habrá visto en acción, y yo lo hecho de menos. Chiste del viernes, chiste del viernes 😜25/08/2017 #16 Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador@Fernando 🐝 Santa Isabel Llanos disculpa por elevar a lo más alto tu parte femenina......las prisas no son buenas jejejeje25/08/2017 #15 Jorge 🐝 Carballo Pérez@Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador Excelente Homenaje. Enhorabuena por partida doble. Por tu Post que me ha parecido Genial. Y por tu reciente Embajada. Un abrazo Enorme !!!25/08/2017 #13 Sonia 🐝 Quiles Espinosa#7 Gracias @Francisco Jose 🐝 Paredes Pérez Global Brand Ambassador!! Muy cierto el título de tu Post, las madres somos muy, muy guerreras !!
- Producer22/08/2017Navigating the ruts in life’s journeyOK so first of all, an explanation. I took an Operational Pause to clear the mechanism and reset the apparatus (aka the brain, my mental state, and my attitude). I dropped off the net about a month ago. I needed to take a temporary halt in...
Comments30/08/2017 #25 Joel Anderson#24 And in using our experiences to allow that new energy in and help to enlighten and navigate, one can only take the next step, and the one after that.
From a tribute to my dad after he passed away in January:
“The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.” --William James
“Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.” --Betty M. Nelson
Then from an unrelated post: As George Santayana is attributed as saying “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Then there is the one by Einstein: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” And then there is Alfred North Whitehead, a defining entity in the field of process philosophy who said: “It takes an extraordinary intelligence to contemplate the obvious.”
Sometimes as we drive through life, we hit bumps and get flat tires. We don't stop because of the adversity or challenges we experience. We use each experience to gain a deeper understanding, a deeper perspective, a richer appreciation for how they can provide us a grounding framework and new approaches. Approaches that underscore that the parts (past, present and future) contribute to the whole, and help us grow for the better.
Thanks for the positivity and help navigating my journey in step taking.30/08/2017 #23 Joel Anderson#22 Thanks @Kevin Baker. Some time ago I used a reference in another discussion about a Soap Opera I used to watch with my sisters when I was a kid "Like sands in an hour glass, these are the Days of Our Lives." Appreciate your thoughts. Just a bad year where stuff keeps stacking up. But take the next step I will as I endeavor to navigate the journey and challenges. Keep making a difference: one step, one person at a time.29/08/2017 #20 Joel Anderson#19 @Melissa Hefferman Thank you for your kind words and insights. Following the news Wednesday of my father in laws passing, my wife's sister received news on Thursday evening that her husband's father had also passed away. The grand kids got a double whammy within two days. I feel like I am in a Soap Opera. Patience, love and peace indeed. Thanks again and keep making a difference.
http://themercury.com/obituaries/robert-dean-tommy-thompson/article_e29e7c1f-5d5c-5199-aa28-0472bc99aa8a.html29/08/2017 #19 AnonymousThank you for sharing your journey with us @Joel Anderson. That makes a difference in my Heart! I've had a number of losses this year as well, sadly an angel 12 year old included. I just visited Home where we celebrated our Loved ones no longer present. It's not always easy and it takes Self patience and Love, but I've found alot of peace in accepting Death and impermanence. Much Love to you and yours: there is only healing. -Melissa25/08/2017 #18 Joel Anderson#15 Thank you @Savvy Raj for your comments, they are truly appreciated. Bear with me as I just try to contemplate some of this. Your words made me think back to earlier this year when I wrote about lines in the sand and the lines in our lives.
There are lines all around us
Of various shape and size
They come in different colors
Depending on your eyes
I see them everywhere I go
They ebb and then they flow
They help me see life’s beauty
Despite the challenges, don’t you know
Like lines, the tides of our lives truly ebb and flow. Sometimes straight and smooth. Sometimes a chaotic mess influenced by unforeseen events elsewhere in our existence. Sometimes calm and gentle. Sometimes low. Sometimes high. Others in turmoil, caused by momentary/fleeting storms in our lives where we find ourselves in the surge and boil of a turbulent current state of being.
As I read your response and reflected on its meaning, I again returned to a place earlier this year and thought about the lines that had gotten me to that moment and now my current place in space and time.
Similar to my father, my father-in-law's journey in line making started over 85 years ago. As the son of a public transportation engineer and he himself a public education teacher, he led a good life. As a teacher he laid the formative pathways, roads, highways and opportunity for so many life travelers. He made a difference in my world and the world of countless others.25/08/2017 #17 Joel Anderson3:50am August 23, 2017 with my wife and two daughters by his side, my father-in-law passed away. Your comments and caring have truly helped. Whatever your reality, whatever your belief system, I found this song to help put things in perspective: https://youtu.be/W4ga_M5Zdn424/08/2017 #15 Savvy RajYour poignant post @Joel Anderson moves me much and mellows my mind and heart to muster strength to sense your situation while thinking of how tough it's been for you to tide through these times.
The choices made in such moments sees you through no matter what ... I must add your sense of appreciation of life's gifts along the way inspite of being stacked with odds is remarkable and of great relevance here. It makes you the wonderful person you actually are😊
Thank you for your appreciation of my poems but most of all thank you for your taking the time to appreciate and acknowledge . Often in the company of such inspiring individuals that you have mentioned and are, everyone benefits in the corelation. Often we find our predicaments shared by someone somewhere in perhaps a way which may give us strength and reserve we need That is why we share as we can evolve along And Bebee is a great place to be in as there always much heart in these sharing and that's what makes all the difference. All is well in the strength of the interconnects24/08/2017 #14 Lisa 🐝 GallagherGone but not forgotten @Joel Anderson. I'm so sorry for all that's hit you over the months. Life sure can throw curve balls. I think it's very good to take a break when needed because those nearest and dearest to us will always come first. When you've reached your emotional tolls it's almost impossible to get online and read, let alone think clearly. Sending good wishes and glad you are back. Thanks for the mention my friend!23/08/2017 #12 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#6 I applaud your tremendous courage to know these challenges and yet there is a therapeutic element in letting others know these difficulties and that is the most precious part, that one does not feel isolated or alone in these moments. Take all the time you need because the very nature of so many things coming at once requires substantial coping mechanisms. Where you can draw strength it is like coming up for air. My utmost respect to you in such challenging situations.23/08/2017 #10 Devesh 🐝 BhattTime has been tough. I sincerely hope it all works out. Eventually, it all does, maybe in the strangesr ways but it does.
My best wishes and thanks for the shout out to everyone. There is always a lot to learn in what yoh write. Infact in whatever i have found on bebee. TC and Best Wishes.
- 18/08/2017To my network... I would be ever so grateful for any and all thoughts and prayers going out to a good friend who has suffered a massive heart attack last weekend and is on life support at this time. His wife has been told by doctors to prepare their teenage sons for the worst. Please join me in sending Buck and his family a prayer of healing...mind, body and soul...Love you Buck!
Comments20/08/2017 #8 Cyndi wilkins#7 So true @CityVP 🐝 Manjit...Each prayer is one more link in the chain...he keeps growing stronger...Ventilator was removed this afternoon and he is conscious and breathing on his own...Nothing short of miraculous when you consider just two days ago they were being told to prepare for the worst...They are still cautiously optimistic, but everyone is breathing a little easier today...Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and this buzz to the hives;-)20/08/2017 #7 CityVP 🐝 ManjitIt is important to be prepared and it is important to pray. Sometimes the difference between life and death is held by the sinew of prayer and personal touch. The important thing here is he has a strong family and that is a blessing in itself. Good to hear that there is a shift in the right direction, but as you said, these things fall into the realm of prayer because they are not predictable as we want them to be.20/08/2017 #6 Cyndi wilkinsI just wanted to share that I have been informed of a small but positive shift in Buck's condition last evening...He has stabilized enough so that his exhausted family could get home for some much needed rest...Not out of the woods, but a flicker of light is burning a bit brighter this morning;-) Prayer knows no boundaries...
- Producer27/12/2016Are intelligent people more likely to suffer from depression?Intelligent People are More Susceptible to DepressionFor centuries famous artists, writers, and thinkers have been plagued with mental illnesses like bipolar disorder, depression, and schizophrenia (Mientka, 2014). Pediaitakis (2014) claimed that a...
Comments05/08/2017 #11 CityVP 🐝 ManjitThe Grand Canyon is a depression but what it took to carve out that whole was water. Depression is not a single factor like water. The hole in the psyche that it carves out has so many different facets and features and we can name specific parts to this metaphorical elephant but it is hard to see it as a whole. Thinking is one of those parts, but so is what we eat, the degree of sunlight we are exposed to (because sitting indoors is equal to sitting in a cave), how depression is affected by season a.k.a. does depression mirror the process of hibernation, it can be triggered by isolation and lack of connection, as well as darkening the meaning of life by questioning our own worth, which is a carving knife of thinking at work or it is us adjusting to way of being that is not us, such as a natural introvert creating psychic disturbance trying to live in a world geared by the prejudice for extrovert existence, or how our sexuality expresses itself in a flow of internal chemicals, or have that flow shifted by this conception we feel called love. The list goes on and that is what bedevils how to overcome it.29/12/2016 #6 Bernard Poulin#4 Superb comments. Logic often dominates feelings and kills the humane in us humans. As an obsessive observer, me thinks there is also little actual thinking going on and a lot of wishing thoughts were so. Our contemporary attachment to digital and virtual connections fool us into believing that our "connecting" is tantamount to communicating. There is a lot more blah, blah, blah, y'a knows, whatevers and reallys! then actual conversations going on.29/12/2016 #5 Harvey LloydArtists see the world from a very different perspective than most. Does it have cause and effect? No one can fully understand another. We can look through the windows of others and try and understand but in the end we can only report what we see. Artists, the ones who truly express their thoughts through their art form, are not much different than those who post on social media. They look for feedback. This tests if their message was heard and understood. Cyber bulling mere existence describes similar internal processes.
How deeply an artist leans on this feedback loop seems to be at the center of the discussion here. I don't believe that this feedback loop disease is unique to artists though. @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris points in this direction.
I believe the larger debate is have we succumbed to the feedback loop within our diagnosis of the issue? Once diagnosed in this area, treatment usually involves coping skills/understanding that can be a circular pattern of existence. Instead of offering growth skills that move the person away from the perspective over time. This is all predicated on the affected willingness to change.
This is a debate that will rage for a very long time.29/12/2016 #4 Zacharias 🐝 VoulgarisI think the crux of the problem is not (high) intelligence but rather the excessive focus of it on intellectual skills and perspectives. Just because it is much easier to think, it doesn't mean that we should focus all our energy in this kind if activity. Perhaps our intellect oriented world has made us conditioned to thought at the expense of feeling. Personally I find that the most successful people are the ones who strike a balance between their thinking and feeling, regardless if their intelligence level, with a focus on doing rather than just thinking or fantasizing about it...27/12/2016 #2 Bernard PoulinSuggested reading : Dr Judith Schlesinger's recent book : The Insanity Hoax. It puts to rest the past-due-date illusions that intelligent, creative, artistic people are "crazier than any other profession" - (as have implied those who profit from selling this inanity to those who need to believe that we are "acceptably" (by the population) nuts - cause, well, were artists. . . .) Sigh. By the way, Dr. Schlesinger is not just a Dr. of psychology, she is a jazz musician, an author, a lecturer and radio personality. She is just back from the Vincent Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam where a symposium was held this past summer for invited specialists in the area of mental illness and specialists in the area of the visual arts to discuss "creativity and suffering".. The key note speakers were a renowned proponent of artists being depressive and or crazy and Dr. Schlesinger who spoke to the foolhardiness of such generalizations. At the end of the symposium it was agreed upon by ALL that though VG had serious problems with which he dealt daily - he nonetheless created DESPITE these problems and therefore was not, (despite all conning to the contrary by those who make a fortune selling mental illness as a norm among creatives) crazy. Time to put this to rest. .
- Producer06/05/2016How I Overcame Impostor SyndromeSeveral years ago, back when I had hair, I attended a conference in Colorado.The fact that I had hair meant I was just starting out in my career and had lots to learn. I was young, and impressionable.The fact that the conference was in Colorado...
Comments07/08/2017 #15 Ken BoddieThe older I get, Kev, and the more presentations I sit through, the less tolerant I get of those who beat their chests and try to impress with their 'expert' knowledge. Invariably the truth will out. It's appears to me that those who convey their message based on examples of their own errors and mistakes leave a more lasting impression than those who attempt to use their achievements to impress and to inflate their status. Someone who has something genuine to present and teach based on illustrations of his/her own blunders, bungles and botch-ups, cannot help but be qualified to talk in front of their peers. That being said, I believe that it doesn't hurt to have a little humbleness, a modicum of self deprecation, to speak from the heart, and to practise, practise, practise, so that you know your content more intimately than a rooster in a henhouse. The best advice I ever got, while preparing for a presentation, was from an older colleague, who suggested, somewhat tongue in cheek, "Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual, just be yourself.’” 🤣05/08/2017 #14 Martin WrightI do find you end up finding out how much you don't know, but somehow you still end up calling it better than government experts.
But, for example, with Brexit it is amazing how many posing as experts are really just frightened by no longer having the control.they used to have.05/08/2017 #12 CityVP 🐝 ManjitThis is a very good healthy conversation about the way we project ourselves into the world. We have a whole economic system based on this projection and the creation of image, and we carry stories of people in our head that become our markers for success, and then if we remain empathic and intelligent people, we question why there is a developing gap between image and reality?
So we end up in this strange world where people who are smart over-estimate the intelligence of people around them and people who are not so smart who under-estimate the intelligence of the people around them. Then there is this continual gap in motion.
Now one has that economic system operating with image and multiply that with your own family and close inner circle projecting their expectations or estimations out at you. Now that whole "your not good enough" shtick comes layering on people and instead of walking into a world that would wash that bullshit off - we walk into a world that manifests itself in bullshit. This world operates on BS, what part of that economic reality have we not encountered.
For you it was a golf game that burst through that bubble, for me it is a constant and growing disdain for the effects of personal brand and worse the branded existence that is our conditioning and indoctrination from all quarters of existence. At the point where your will ceases to want to play this game, now it is you who end feeling like the oddball. That is the funniest irony of all :-)05/08/2017 #11 Wayne YoshidaYou touched on several points, @Kevin Pashuk - like college class competition. This was pretty difficult for me while going to school, where the classes I went to were very competitive and we were being "graded on a curve." This often meant that when you goof on one question, you'd earn a "C" in class, because everyone got perfect scores. I was the guy that missed the A by one point.
Regarding the speaker's confession -- scary, but maybe an indication of a mid-life crisis. Or a realization based on -- maybe tough questions from the audience?
When one teaches or lectures - the Q and A challenge offers a way to exercise application of knowledge-sharing in a different way, instead of a one-way transmission. One must think at a different angle. This is why I admire (some) people who teach.
Mostly, though, I think this is a bit of a confidence thing. I wrote something related to this in my post about blowing horns.
Funny trivia about this post: The blue horn in the foreground is a Despicable Me Fart Blaster. Meant to be a joke.
On golf -- I tell people my handicap **is** golf.04/08/2017 #9 Edward LewellenHi, Kevin! Yes, Impostor Syndrome is so common that the book, "Now Discover Your Strengths", discusses the topic toward the end. Many people I work with suffer from it. It seems especially prevalent the higher a person is in an organization. Despite all the bravado of VP level and above, many have the same fears, doubts, and worries as their staff. I just wrote this post today that relates to your topic: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@edward-lewellen/the-voice-in-your-head04/08/2017 #8 Phil FriedmanKevin, this is an interesting post, and it is good to see it surface again. My intuition tells me that Imposter Syndrome is likely more prevalent among the truly knowledgeable and accomplished -- for the more you know, the more you understand how much there is still to learn. I too used to suffer from the malady, but then I began hanging around on social media and reading some of the pure BS published by self-ascribed gurus, thought leaders, experts, ninjas, black belts, knowledge masters, and the like -- and I realized that when it came to being an imposter, I was completely bush league.06/05/2016 #6 Henrí GalvãoIt's a delicate topic for sure. Just last week I was in a group of really smart people, and although I enjoyed their company, I found myself talking less than I could. Partly because I really wanted to hear what they had to say, partly due to some feelings of inadequacy. I definitely have some work to do there.06/05/2016 #5 Kevin Pashuk#4 Unfortunately the type of situation you described @Phillip Hubbell just made the anxiety worse for me - until I realized that (sometimes) I had the most experience in the room. I now am careful about not overstepping my qualifications (the polite term for bullshitting) but use my project management and research skills to ensure we get the right answer in a timely fashion.06/05/2016 #4 Phillip HubbellMy discovery came sitting in a meeting in Chicago with IBM’s consultants and the Executives of Cotter and Company and me, with all of them looking to me to be the expert after being on the job for about a month. It opened my eyes to the fact that we sometimes become what people expect us to be. I was just this kid from Gainesville Texas in a suit. They were “computer” professionals. It was new technology and they thought I was the guy…so I became the guy. No one the wiser.06/05/2016 #3 Ken BoddieI have come to believe, Kevin, that confidence comes with achievement and that we are responsible for mentoring our younger staff, not only to broaden their experience but to gain confidence. After all, without confidence it's not possible to 'fake it till you make it', and lack of confidence instills doubts in our capabilities.06/05/2016 #2 Kevin Pashuk#1 Thanks @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, Sometimes I wish I had learned certain lessons at a much younger age. In my part of the world they have a saying "Too soon old, Too late smart." Blogging is a way that I can hopefully share these important lessons with the generation coming up behind.06/05/2016 #1 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeOwning a goal is the best prescription against the feeling of inadequacy and the Golf lesson is a solid proof of this. This is why many strategies fail. They lay out the goals for others and feeling the Impostor Syndrome builds up. It is self-defeating.
Thank you for wring a lovely post @Kevin Pashuk
- Producer30/07/2017Juicing the voidThere is a space, an unpleasant space into which increasing numbers of our fellow humans are falling. New existential challenges are sucking unsuspecting folk into the void of fear, anxiety, stagnation and ultimately, death. These folk include...
Comments31/07/2017 #23 Ian Weinberg#22 I understand that @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee But somewhere in Frankl's Logotherapy there is a reference to creating some meaning and purpose out of any emerging situation - the flip of the switch from hopeless-helpless to meaning and purpose and with it the potential for 'usefulness' and personal gratification. No matter how apparently insignificant the switch to purposefulness, it may go a long way to kick-starting a process.31/07/2017 #22 Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee#21 I agree. But the dilemma lies in those viewing the aged as useless. And funds to survive become scarce. http://www.bostonglobe.com/business/2017/07/29/for-elderly-economic-security-elusive/b33cs3PSreXb6IJ9XMpnUM/story.html?s_campaign=breakingnews:newsletter
So when one cannot get a job to experience usefulness, and when one cannot acquire funds conducive to survival, there are a few outcomes possible--only a few.31/07/2017 #21 Ian Weinberg#19 Thanks for that @Deborah Levine I believe that we've arrived at yet another important nodal point of awareness in this unfolding human saga: We are no longer 'old' at sixty! We need to utilize our lifetime of experience, identify our strengths and passions and evolve to a logical new place of purposefulness based on unique personal authenticity.31/07/2017 #20 Ian Weinberg#18 The question I ask myself Jerry is have we arrived at a point in our 'evolution' where we deny and/or fear death so much that we opt for a joyless existence instead? I would suggest that this mind state has permeated 'political correctness' as well as the expectations of patients and the behavior of doctors, to the point that there is no longer a connection with, or respect for our deepest beliefs, feelings and aspirations. Life is inflicted upon emasculated wretchedness!31/07/2017 #19 Deborah LevineSo very true! @Ian Weinberg I was recently contacted by a university wanting to do a study of women over sixty who were active and had an impact on their community and the world. I greatly admire them and people lie yourself who are addressing senior purposefulness and how it works. Unfortunately, the requirements were such that I had to decline given my hectic schedule. However, I did offer to support their work and publish their findings and will do so here on BeBee. Thanks for raising the issue.31/07/2017 #16 Ian Weinberg#13 You got me seriously skirting up and down the convolutions of my grey matter @Ken Boddie with your comment. So here's the thing: The science of the matter shows that the existence of the 5 Core Elements viz - meaning&purpose; self-esteem; reward; achievement; value contribution, collectively enhance cognitive function (awareness etc) as well as physical body function (decreases inflammation, thus warding off 80% of illnesses). That all serves to sustain gratification and longevity. But I agree with you, we see longevity often as a genetic/epi-genetic phenomenon. This raises another interesting possibility: 2 groups emerge - the first experience longevity secondary to the application of the 5 Core Elements. The second group inherit the 'genes' for primary longevity without the support of the Core Elements (It's not in their nurture determinants or subjective life narrative). Devoid of gratification they experience longevity, but in the form of an empty shell - they merely exist beyond the period of 'usefulness', awaiting their 'sell by date'.31/07/2017 #15 Ian Weinberg#12 As do I Harvey (about engaging the ever present warts). And I too wrestle with attempts at transcending the narrative mold or succumbing to more powerful influences. But as I've said in previous posts, I believe more and more in an organized grid in which I am a mere player serving out the unique determinants of my existence.31/07/2017 #13 Ken BoddieSeems to me, Ian, you have a well balanced equation there. The more you put into the left side, the more you reap from the right side. Furthermore, it seems logical that meaning and purpose will lead to gratification and longevity of the individual, provided that the body remain healthy. I'm not sure, however, that any of the variables in this equation are a function of real longevity, which, for me, is not so much a product of self sustainability, but rather something we can pass onto successive generations, to champion successively, like an Olympic torch.31/07/2017 #12 Harvey Lloyd#11 In my career of small business i believe that each person that has crossed my path was not a coinicidence but rather scripted. I was to enhance them and they me before that journey ended.
I have learned a lot from others. Most importantly the journey of self awareness. It never ends, but does have epochs that get challenged in change.
There are two concepts that we use in developing our proffesionals.
1. People either cant do something, (Lack of skill.) or wont do something, (narrative or character will not allow.)
2. Skill we can develop in a short period of time, Character (Won't.) takes years.
We may start the transformation of character by offering a reflection of alternatives instead of standard business jargon. But generally we dont finish as we become the baby in the bath water.
The illusion of control is the largest battle we face in our business. Facing life as a fluid dynamic of only influence is a scary thing for most.
Your journey is worthy and yes the warts are the moments of gathering wisdom as we let go of control and see influence only. I still have a few thousand more warts to go.31/07/2017 #11 Ian Weinberg#10 Your comment @Harvey Lloyd is very valid as usual. Indeed I concur with what you describe. In fact in my personal case, the intellectual exercise of developing the program was the easier component. Learning to 'walk my talk' was far more difficult. But with ongoing awareness and commitment to improving the 'warts and all' and enhancing gratification, I can attest to the benefits of of sustained application. The big variable of course is the receptivity and potential for change inherent in our subjective narratives.31/07/2017 #10 Harvey LloydI read and the post presented a very simple formula of our physiological existance. But in execution this is very complex.
In my lay observations of proffesionals i can see the difficulty that exists when they execute around control rather than influence.
In offering up the fluid concepts here i realized folks would need to rescript their narrative. This is no easy task. Self awareness is a ugly journey of releaseing one's self from the fears and anxieties of the past that were handed down by trusted individuals.
Physical success can only be measured by another human. The soul is the measure of yourself before a greater existance that only you know. The balance is where we meet ourselves.
Your words speak truth at a level that is blinded by what our eyes tell us on a daily basis.30/07/2017 #8 Cyndi wilkins#5 "The crucible is getting hotter!" Yep...So is the planet... We have far exceeded the capabilities of our Human and Earthly ecosystems to absorb the impact of the growing use of advanced technologies...There are new levels of awareness being integrated into human consciousness...enhancing our perceptions of what we have long considered reality...This massive shift in the collective is what is required if we are to conquer our fears and transform our lives for the greater good and benefit of future generations...Very timely buzz Dr. Weinberg...A must read for everyone;-)
- Producer20/07/2017Healing The Healer"You know the time has come when the manifestations of emotional stress present in the physical body...just name your condition."Several years ago I left a very secure, albeit rather toxic job, after 15 years of service in favor of becoming a...
Comments22/07/2017 #16 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#15 You sure were one busy gal @Cyndi wilkins! I can't imagine taking A & P now.. yikes. But, you did it! I think that's when many of us start racing, when life roughs us up. I wish it didn't have to be that way, for some it's not but I'm sure other obstacles come their way. Ha, you nose became immune to 'shit.' That had to be it!21/07/2017 #15 Cyndi wilkins#8 Yeah...life was really slinging some shit there @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher...I must have been unconscious and they couldn't find any smelling salts...so shitty diapers had to do the trick;-) There were signs, many of them, but I had become complacent in my comfort zone...Life had to rough me up a bit to make me move...it was time.
It didn't happen overnight...5 years passed from this time of 'reckoning' to my move into a new career...I attended night school while still continuing to work full-time at this job until I had accumulated enough credits and proper training to make my move into entrepreneurship...I had to take anatomy and physiology all over again...Try to get a fourty year-old brain to do that!!...Ugh!21/07/2017 #14 Cyndi wilkins#10 Bitterness is a tough nut to crack...holding onto it only keeps us from flying. But to forgive is to be forgiven...and there is not one among us who has not cast that stone of bitterness Harvey...If we can forgive ourselves first, that would be an excellent start;-)21/07/2017 #12 Cyndi wilkins#7 I appreciate your input here @David B. Grinberg...I think this buzz resonates in all of our lives at one time or another...There were so many subtle moments leading up to this particular 'point of no return'...but I kept hitting the snooze alarm...you know? Perhaps I could have saved myself a lot of heartache had I been paying closer attention...But then again, the whole experience of having been reduced to rubble was the catalyst I needed to make that change...and it has made me a much more compassionate person...In hindsight, as content as I may have THOUGHT I was, apparently my life had other plans for me;-)21/07/2017 #11 Cyndi wilkins#6 It really was exactly as you describe @Shelley Brown...being turned completely upside down so that life as you know it ceases to exist...All that is left is the ashes...Well now, after an experience like that, there is only one direction you can take...and that is back up again. At moments like these you find out who your friends really are...as it turns out, they were not the people I had surrounded myself with...They were people from my past relationships that came out of the wood work to help me...That's why I always say "never burn your bridges"...All of our paths cross for very good reason;-)
I'm looking forward to reading whatever story this spurs in you Shelly...Please make sure to tag me on it so I don't miss it!21/07/2017 #10 Harvey LloydFinding resolution to our perceptions of past events is not only gratifying but better than vitamins for our health.
"Bitterness is drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick."
When i heard the gentlemen make this qoute i got mad, he steamed up all the raw nerves of past experiences that i had justified my perceptions.
He didnt leave me at this steamed up point. He went on to discuss the act of forgiveness. He raised the temperature on the burner by several thousand degrees.
In the end he explained that forgiveness was not only for those waiting, but also for those who needed forgiveness.
The antidote to bitterness is forgiveness. Sounds counter intuitive, but i need to move on with my life without carting that rock forward. When i find a way to forgive then i can walk away without reruns playing over and over again in future settings.
Some great thoughts and discussion on the human condition.21/07/2017 #8 Lisa 🐝 GallagherWhat a genuine and thought provoking story @Cyndi wilkins. The smell of crappy diapers I could do without, hope you found a nice air freshener ;-) I agree, most of us if not all have at least one if not more than one deep seated fear(s). Why is it that sometimes it can be so hard to bring those fears to the surface? I know that's not healthy but I think some do let them linger not realizing they won't go away unless they face them head on... guilty! This is where your last sentence comes in very handy and it's compassionate, "People helping people...one moment at a time;-)" That's so true!21/07/2017 #7 David B. GrinbergThank you, Cyndi, for an excellent read. You make so many good points. I also love the quotes, some of which I'm familiar with per my own life situations. I would reiterate your point about how high stress levels can severely affect one's health. I also agree that maintaining a positive, optimistic mindset can work wonders during tough times -- and all the time. Your words of wisdom are most appreciated! Keep buzzing...21/07/2017 #6 Shelley BrownThis is a really powerful story @Cyndi wilkins and one I certainly relate to. It's like your life bucket gets turned upside down and you get terrified and try to grab all the life pieces and put them back together the way they were before knowing it's impossible. I absolutely believe a toxic situation caused my body to breakdown and I ended up having 3 major surgeries in year including a spinal fusion. It's really amazing how you express that "being given an opportunity to recognize and release that fear once and for all, so I could move forward and help my partner in doing the same" leading to "That shift in perception for me brought with it a sense of peace in being supportive in a committed relationship, rather than fearful for our physical survival and security". I am walking through some fears right now and look forward to being a able to tell a similar story. Thank you. Your healing energy came through this piece.20/07/2017 #5 Cyndi wilkins#3 Your friend sounds like a shaman @Sarah Elkins....To a well trained therapist, the conditions of the energetic systems, or chakras, is easily revealed via careful observation of one's body language...Your friend saw something the moment she took one look at you and knew exactly what you needed in the moment...I hope you have her on speed dial...never know what can happen;-) LOL...Thanks for sharing that...it validates the whole point of this article.20/07/2017 #4 Cyndi wilkins#2 Sometimes we don't even know why we are inhibited by certain fears...the memories are buried so deep. This type of deep manual manipulation of the tissues can unlock those hidden treasures we have tucked away for safe keeping...When something surfaces, it is calling our attention to what is happening in our present that is being influenced by a past 'unresolved' emotion...and by unresolved I mean it has gone unrecognized as the catalyst to our current mind set...once we make that 'conscious' connection and release it from our physical being via movement, meditation, storytelling etc...we are able to move past it and embrace our new found freedom from the cage we have built around ourselves...Right @Deb 🐝 Helfrich;-)20/07/2017 #3 Sarah ElkinsI love this, @Cyndi wilkins, because I can visualize and imagine the entire story, from the release into your memory to the memory itself, and back again to the present moment. When I was in a toxic job, a friend and Pilates guru called me using Skype. She took one look at me and gave me a breathing exercise to do, telling me to do it right then at that moment. I started the exercise, and about 30 seconds into it started to sob. I hadn't cried in many months, but something about that physical activity created an incredible emotional release. My entire being felt less restricted after that.
I'm glad you posted this story, because I know how wonderful it is to grow and improve in your gifts as a result of helping others.20/07/2017 #2 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsThe title for this buzz is so apt Cyndi. Healing the healer. The cure and healing lies within us. The answers lie within us but we go out looking for them or wait someone to tell us but what we really need is for someone to show us. And when you showed your self by sharing the experience the healing began. We are most of the time scared and unable to let go of those wounds caused by people, places and things. Its time to open up to ourselves and show ourselves what we are truly capable of.
Like you said "The harmonious nature of this work...People helping people...one moment at a time!"
- Producer15/07/2017SOCIAL DISAPPOINTMENTS CAUSE DEPRESSIONBelieve it or not, you are always one step closer to depression than to happiness. I know-I know, we all want to be happy, we all try to be happy in this world. But the problem is, happiness hormones are working only for motivation. The...
Comments16/07/2017 #35 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#33 I read your comments with interest as well Dr. @Ian Weinberg and want to thank you for all the info you shared. Very complex topic/illness because Mental Illness covers many territories. I had a light bulb moment today. As I read Pam's comment about being "Happy go lucky," as in putting on a smile to the point of exhaustion, I did the same when I raised my kids (although it wasn't half as frequent... my panic attacks) But, I have to wonder if it catches up with a person if they ignore it for so long? Also, my doctor told me it can get worse for women after they hit 'mid-life' because of hormonal fluctuations and that would make sense as to why mine seems like it has been so much worse. However, I am getting good therapy and we are making strides. I'm staying away from medications because I tried them and felt very sick on the 3 or 4 I did give a try.16/07/2017 #32 David B. Grinberg#31 I really appreciate your comments @Pamela 🐝 Williams. I understand you didn't mean any harm and, as noted, this is a difficult subject for those personally affected by mental illness. In short, I grew up with a mother who was manic depressive and prone to unforeseen fits, rages and other unpleasant episodes. This made my childhood and teenage years very difficult on a range of levels. Ditto that for my sister and father. My mother's side of the family has a history of mental illness, which is hereditary. The important thing I want to reiterate is that mental illness is a disease, like diabetes or cancer is a disease. Nobody asks for it and nobody likes it. Moreover, those impacted by mental illness, like my mom, can't always control their bad behavior even with medication. In essence, I had a rough childhood but then was free in college to spread my wings and Thrive once I got out of the toxic home environment.16/07/2017 #31 Pamela 🐝 Williams@David B. Grinberg you deleted your comments so I can answer to what was said, only via Lisa's comments. I by no means meant to sound patronizing and if I did my deep felt humble apologies. I would like to know about your Mom but if it's not something you want to share I understand. I tend to speak only of the positives in my family but there's this loyalty thing :=). I do admire you, envy your drive, admire your intelligence and positive attitude. I wouldn't hurt you for a second but as Lisa says: This is a very sore subject for some and when we feel like someone is telling us to "pull yourself by your boot straps and get over it" ...it hurts. Most people who 'know' me casually view me as happy-go-lucky with a very positive attitude, but I exhaust myself being this way and it never lasts. I was raised off-and-on by a very religious grandfather and his answers were either 'pray for healing' or that ole bootstrap advice. For a short while I had my stepfather who just loved me and I started to build some 'self' but he was forced out of my life as well. Nothing was stable, nothing lasted. I was shuttled back and forth between my mother and my grandparents, I didn't even know my Mom when I was dumped back in her house at the age of 5 after living with my grandparents for 2 1/2 years. My earliest memory is standing in her yard and wondering what I did to be 'left behind' as my grandparents drove away.
If you lived in a disfunctional situation then my humblest apologies for jumping to conclusions; I know how upsetting it can be when people do that; I wish you hadn't deleted your comments because if you blasted me; I deserved it. I did what I was 'preaching' against. Guilty. You have my respect and admiration David, know that!16/07/2017 #30 Ian Weinberg#29 That is a very important concept that you propose here @Pamela 🐝 Williams and one currently being investigated. The DNA molecule is not static and unchanging through life. More and more we are noting an epi-genetic influence - genes become suppressed or de-suppressed through life in response to diet, toxic habits, lifestyle and indeed in response to mind states. The mediators of chronic inflammation, the pro-inflammatory cytokines, have been shown to influence this epigenetic process. And since this is in the DNA molecule, it can be passed on to the next generation.16/07/2017 #29 Pamela 🐝 Williams@Ian Weinberg so I'm reading that early childhood environments can create hopeless/helpless physiological menifestations that can't be 'treated' by normal medical means, it's a lifelong 'battle' for lack of a better word? Which is my perspecitive.
But in regards to physiological state; here is my next question; IF this situation perpetuates through the generations, isn't it possible that the "identifiable chemical configuration (low serotonin, low dopamine and raised noradrenaline)" becomes an inheritable condition? This is a subject area/ question that I find fascintating; Could a constant state of this 'chemical configuration' actually become part of a DNA makeup and transmit to future generations?
Such as in the case of children of alcoholics having a higher propensity for deveoping addictive personalities, whether it be alcohol or drugs? To me it would be the same as Darwin's theories of evolution, only instead of developing traits for 'survival' the traits move in a negative direction; eg; "low serotonin, low dopamine and raised noradrenaline"16/07/2017 #28 Ian Weinberg@David B. Grinberg , @Pamela 🐝 Williams and @Victoria Toumit Herewith my perspective:
At the outset it should be stated that there is no scientific explanation for depression as an entity nor is there a specific ‘depression centre’ in the brain. Additionally there is no consistent configuration of neurotransmitters and hormones which are associated with the phenomenon of depression. The low serotonin hypothesis (upon which a multi-billion dollar industry of SSRI’s is based) as being causative for depression has so many holes in it that it has become highly questionable. Definitions of depression range all the way from unhappiness to deep melancholia and a potential suicidal tendency. This mind state is also associated with many somatic manifestations such as sleep disturbances, eating disorders and extreme weight fluctuations, chronic inflammation and sickness behavior – a physiological state of disinterest in the environment, somnolence (sleepiness) and often associated with a fever. (See part 2 below)16/07/2017 #27 Ian WeinbergPart 2:
It is also not accurate to imply that mind states are a product of neurophysiology and levels of neurotransmitters and hormones. Profound nature-nurture influences create core neuronal circuits which become our subjective world view. Interaction with the extended environment reflects our subjectivity and thus our nurture heritage. This dynamic will serve to endorse positively or negatively, our subjective beliefs (in the deprivation state, limiting beliefs). It is therefore more accurate to view our subjective mind state, our chemistry (including neurophysiology) and the psychosocial interaction as one integration or continuum.
My specific model is based on a cyclical flow chart which therefore has multiple inputs – a mind state reflecting degrees of deprivation and usually precipitated by prevailing life situations is associated with an identifiable chemical configuration (low serotonin, low dopamine and raised noradrenaline). This in turn affects the immune system, initiating a chronic inflammatory process. The products of inflammation further diminish serotonin and dopamine levels thus perpetuating a negative cycle. The mind state defined in this state is that of hopeless-helplessness or degrees of this. It correlates directly with low levels of dopamine (meso-limbic system). I have therefore suggested that degrees of hopeless-helplessness is a far more understandable definition than depression. (See part 3 below)16/07/2017 #26 Ian WeinbergPart 3:
In terms of intervention – it obviously depends on the subjective narrative of the individual. If limiting beliefs are too rigid and embedded, then no amount of cognitive intervention will be effective. Also if the individual is gaining gratification (in the form of raised dopamine) through the legitimizing of their hopeless-helpless state, no amount of intervention will move them. The most effective modality that we have for intervention is the creation of awareness of self and then through a process of disputation, establish meaning and purpose as well as a degree of self-esteem. Gratification and achievement experienced by the individual in the application of this intervention will get the dopamine bubbling and hopefully empower the individual to perpetuate the process.
And so I would say that intervention of a cognitive type can be extremely successful if the individual is experiencing a significant degree of hopeless-helplessness, limiting beliefs are not too rigid and ingrained and that there is not too much secondary dopamine gain from a legitimized hopeless-helpless life situation.
For a more comprehensive take on this, see my previous articles:
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ian-weinberg/buzzing-with-emotion16/07/2017 #23 Ian WeinbergJust woken up on this side of the world. This is a very topical and important issue. In the course of today I will dig out the relevant literature as well as add my own experience in the neurosciences as well from a coaching perspective. Thanks for the tag @David B. Grinberg and @Pamela 🐝 Williams16/07/2017 #22 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#20 Hi @David B. Grinberg, I hope I'm not over-stepping my boundaries but I really don't think Pam's intent was to sound as though she was being patronizing. I'm glad this topic came up because it affects so many. I read your comment and it brought tears to my eyes. I truly believe the topic of Mental illness can be a tough topic to discuss at times because many have been affected and it can feel raw at times, it's very easy for others to misinterpret written words. I've had a lot of people tell me affirmations work for them and I think that's great. They don't work for me (well, it depends on the situation), I can't say they never work.
As I read about your mom and how it affected you, it made me think of my sister I wrote of not that long ago. She has 2 beautiful daughters and I have noticed they both deal with their past and present differently. One is prone to depression and anxiety herself and the older sister is the caregiver, almost done getting her masters degree and keeps very busy. She also moved far enough away from her mom (my sister) and I think that was for self preservation. Do they both love their mom deeply, yes! They saw their mom have paranoid delusions many times and I have to wonder if the believed her when they were much younger? I can't imagine how life affected them because they were witness to her illness long before we were aware and mom took all of them in until the girls graduated from HS. You are a big proponent of MH issues and I can't thank you enough. I can't imagine how hard that must have been on you David and from what I remember, your dad was your rock! Hugs for you :)) You are very appreciated, and I know Pam appreciates you too. I will stop now and let her speak for herself when she is back online, tomorrow, I'm guessing.16/07/2017 #21 David B. GrinbergVictoria, please see my comments below to Pamela. And shame on you for trying to shame me.
As a communications expert I choose my words carefully and parse them to make sure I'm not painting a broad brush which is universally applicable. That's why I used words such as "most" people, not all, and "to an extent" rather than all encompassing. I know firsthand the pain and suffering that people suffer due to mental illness by family members. Again, I would caution people not to make ignorant assumptions about other peoples lives for which they know absolutely nothing about whatsoever. Thank you.
Is it easy to try to be positive in the face of confronting or dealing with someone who has depression? Of course not. Yet this doesn't mean a person can't try to be positive via faith and other things. The more we try the more we usually move closer to succeeding, at least for some people. Again, I never stated that my own personal situation with universally applicable. Indeed it is not. But it is applicable at least to some people including me.16/07/2017 #20 David B. Grinberg#14 Thank you @Pamela 🐝 Williams for your wise words. I'm sorry to disappoint you, however, I grew up with a mother who was manic depressive and physically abusive, not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive. She couldn't help it.. Therefore, I know that of which I speak. I was also bullied in high school in addition to what I had to deal with in my home life. It was not until I was free to spread my wings in college that I was truly able to thrive. And when I mention a manic-depressive mother I'm talking about someone who was involuntarily hospitalized by the police due to a severe episode of being paranoid delusional. I recall visiting her at Bellevue Hospital in Queens New York. And I recall crying like a baby right after I left.
Therefore, With all due respect, Pamela, I don't appreciate your false assumptions and patronizing comments. II know firsthand about childhood adversity, major depression, bipolar disorder, and all the related aspects because I grew up with it as a child through my teenage years. Now, with that said, what worked for me in college via affirmations visualization, and being positive, etc. may not work for everyone. We are all individuals who are unique and uniquely respond to different life situations. That's why I sometimes write about mental health issues and try to be a proponent to end the stigma regarding mental illness.
Thank you very much for considering these personal points. Again, I would caution everyone against jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about things for which they have absolutely no knowledge whatsoever.16/07/2017 #19 Robert CormackWe're never going to change a world that hurts, @Victoria Toumit. Cortisol may last longer than dopamine or any endorphin, but the true test is how we handle hurt. It honestly doesn't matter what it is. Fighting anything releases endorphins which help us stabilize shock. Social disappointment has less shock than, say, being chased by a bull. But your body is still going to work out chemical ways to stabilize, meaning the more you fight, the more your body will actively work to stabilize you.16/07/2017 #18 CityVP 🐝 ManjitThe medical community can only provide quick fixes to lessen the effects of depression, only to create other side effects in the process and that is because even the best minds in the medical community are still in the process of understanding the fundamental expression of depression. How does that community tackle this when the same community is at the early stages of understanding the human brain - but there has been progress in trying to unlock these mysteries.
When I think of depression I see a multifaceted cause and effect relationship with multiple variables and the medical community in the early days were studying different facets of this elephant, but it is only now that there has been a move to integrate specialists, so a good example is how brain experts are now working with gut experts in learning new things about the gut-brain relationship.
Hormones definitely play a part in the emergence of depression because pharma companies have created responses and interventions that are related to hormones, but what happens if one of multiple pathways for depression is light? In darkness we know animals have interventions such as hibernation, so could this natural withdrawal response be activated by a combination of fear and not living in natural light? When a body gets cold, it begins to shut off to preserve life at the core of the body, even to the point of suspended animation - could depression be a similar form of effect, where safety equates with withdrawing inwards?
Ultimately, we are the best judge of our own being and here I definitely recognize thinking as a cause, because what is the meaning of a depression, is it not a rut and if our thoughts keep making ruts then see points of depression in that also. For sure if we can understand our own triggers or nutritional response or mind-state, all these things could help overcome some effects.16/07/2017 #15 Lisa 🐝 GallagherDepression is not a choice, it's an illness. Happiness is a choice and I feel fortunate when I'm happy, actually happiness comes easier to those who don't suffer from depression. People would not commit suicide if depression wasn't real. Depression needs to be taken seriously because many suffer in silence thanks to people who still attach that lovely stigma to it... there are still many who feel those who are suffering from depression are just weak or failures, because they don't understand depression is a condition not a temporary feeling. Everyone feels down or depressed for one reason or another but if they don't suffer from clinical depression they have the right chemicals (balance) and coping skills to work through. What people don't realize is that those who do suffer from clinical depression, well it can come on like a thief in the night and hang around for a long time. Treatment is key as is compassion. I noticed you mentioned EMDR, great treatment and has a high success rate. Honestly, the more I've tried affirmations, the more I feel anxious and like a failure because they sound great... they just don't connect properly when a person is depressed. Thanks for this topic @Victoria Toumit, it's a very important topic!16/07/2017 #14 Pamela 🐝 Williams#6 David, you seem to come from a background of support and encouragement and you accomplished a lot in your young life. I don't believe that if you had been raised in a atmosphere that didn't encourage you to believe in yourself and that you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to, that you would have reached the level you did. Not everyone is that lucky. All the affirmations in the world aren't going to overcome the years of being stifled or abused. Sometimes it is physical. Depression is not 'all in head' and I think Dr @Ian Weinberg will agree with that, there are actual physical imbalances in the body.
Take a pill and it will all go away. It's not that easy; all the symptomology is still there.
I've watched loved ones suffer from depression, resulting in two taking their own life. Their father suffered from the same illness...it passes down. If you haven't been to that black hole, you will never understand. Both men were men of faith, worked hard, had loving, accomplished families and yet years and years of fighting that darkness was exhausting until they were too tired to fight. There is situational depression (normal losses suffered in life) and then there is DEPRESSION, where getting out of bed takes all the energy a person can muster. Love, faith, and affirmations will not overcome. Bullying in social media can be devastating for people wanting to reach out from the depths of their dark holes only to meet a troll. We should all remember that there are human beings out there and we can't know what damage careless words can cause. We can't be responsible for everyone we meet on social media but we should take a moment to consider our words carefully.
Black Learning~ 100 buzzes
A Manjit Learning Hive Featuring :
RESILIENCE & ADVERSITY DIVERSITY & DIFFERENCE CONTROL & CHAOS
CEO : Challenge - Existence - Opposition
Hives mapped per Spectraneuron Release #57 - 9th December 2017
RESILIENCE & ADVERSITY DIVERSITY & DIFFERENCE CONTROL & CHAOS
CEO : Challenge - Existence - Opposition
Hives mapped per Spectraneuron Release #57 - 9th December 2017