- Producer19/08/2017Death of a ChildI wrote this article originally on LinkedIn and a similar one on Facebook and thought I would share it here.No this is not Facebook but I want everyone of my connections to know this. One of the most difficult times in anyone's life is when they...
- 27/06/2017Maria Mota's Heavenly Departurelrbandassociates.com Maria Mota's heavenly departure was yesterday. Although many of us knew what was going to happen, our minds were not ready to accept her death. Due to the cancer spreading, nothing could have prepared her family and friends for her final...
- 27/06/2017Pause and Remember Maria Motalrbandassociates.com Remember Maria Mota. After Maria was diagnosed with cancer last Summer, she underwent months of treatment and multiple surgeries, but lost the battle yesterday. Pause and Remember In the first place, grief is the one thing that has the power to...
- Producer29/12/2016On the matter of deathWith so many well known and lesser known individuals dying, I thought it appropriate to share the subject of ‘death’ with you living folk. ‘Living’ is a relative concept incorporating the full spectrum of life – vital,...
Comments04/02/2017 #27 Ian Weinberg#26 Thanks for the comment and thanks for sharing @Pamela 🐝 Williams My experience has taught me that we are often not aware of subtle and often suppressed feelings in others, including those close to us. In fact the afflicted have often not engaged in any meaningful way with themselves and are unaware of potentially damaging, deep seated emotions. As regards the potential influences in the environment, we know only too well that loss of a close friend or relative can precipitate a pre-morbid cascade of emotions which may result in the death of the responding individual. The classical and documented example is the death of a spouse relatively soon after the death of the partner following a long term relationship. This for me clearly illustrates the precipitation of a potentially terminal hopeless-helpless mind state which may culminate in death unless 'revived' by some new meaning or purpose. I've done a lot of coaching of individuals with terminal disease (over twenty years) and as I'm writing this I'm thinking back to some dramatic cases which perhaps I should share in a future article.04/02/2017 #26 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsIt seems that in the last twenty years I have had to face the realities of death more than I thought I ever would. You expect the death of the aged, you come to terms with it, but in the mid-90s my family seemed to be in a war with death. We lost my brother at the age of 37, then another brother's mother-in-law passed from cancer and his sister-in-law was struck by a car while riding her bike, then their close friend died after minor surgery from a staff infection, then a great-niece was still-born. I cannot off the top of my head tell you they happened in this sequence it just seemed to be a never ending funeral procession, like ticking off a list. The point is that none of these people would fit into the categories you laid out, BUT instead it would be the people around them that would be 'the fit'. It makes me think of the post you did on ESP...do people perhaps bring about the outcomes by the energy they emit?
I remember my brother and his wife, who suffered the most losses saying: "We came back from Germany to be near family so if something happened...".
After losing 3 close family members in just over a year, they moved back to Germany because; "It seems like being back in the States is inviting death".
I've often thought about those words...24/01/2017 #24 Lisa VanderburgWhat a beautiful and salient address to what so many of us try so hard to avoid - I applaud you, Prof @Ian Weinberg.
Your hard-learned summations, in my humble opinion, are breathtakingly (and heart-breakingly) correct. It is all too easy to ruin a perfectly good child; causing 'failure to thrive' in their adult selves.31/12/2016 #16 Gerald Hecht#15 @Lyon Brave Well matters of life and death...can initially seem intense; but upon further consideration, we see that it probably one of the most mundane and universal shared experiences of sentient beings...we all die, we all experience the death of our most influential cultural touchstones, those we love most, etc.
It's great raw material for Philosophers, Artists, and late night broadcast television advertising for "class action wrongful death lawyers", "life insurance companies", "life extension through home juicers at $19.99 U.S...(and you can get an additional juicer free if you call within the next 10min.), and "Core Shredding Videos by the King of the Kore", etc.31/12/2016 #11 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#9 After I posted I realize I type about certain aspects of my experiences as if I am talking to a room full of medical Professionals I'm comfortable with. I immediately wished there was an edit button to remove the gory sentence I shared. I don't regret sharing about the burr hole. I shared that story because it was stuff like this that did affect not just myself but everyone who was part of the team on that day. Many things we see in HC leave an imprint, both good and bad. Again, great article @Ian Weinberg.30/12/2016 #9 Ian Weinberg#8 Thanks for sharing @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher I obviously didn't feel it appropriate to share the really extreme stuff - that's generally only communicated face-to-face with an appropriate group. Just another point of relevance however - one of my friends, a psychistrist who did a 1 year rotation in neurosurgery, once said to me that my subjective world view based on my extreme experience in neurosurgery, would become very skewed and distorted and diverge from the 'normal'. For me however, the opposite has happened. Yes, I'm quite at home with blood, gore and death, but going to the edge and sharing extreme experiences with many, has added a sensitivity to the human element. I became far less judgmental and more value-add driven.30/12/2016 #8 Lisa 🐝 GallagherThanks for sharing your story @Ian Weinberg. It's nice to hear your personal perspective as a Physician. I worked in Respiratory Therapy and I began to question the existence of a God during and after my time spent working with the dying and watching the life sucked right out of so many. My job was life altering. I learned at a very early age I wasn't invincible and I also started fearing the loss of loved ones. How traumatizing it had to be to see all the dead children on that bus. I think some people forget that Dr's along with other healthcare personnel can be affected by much of what we see for a long time to come. During your interview, the person that offered up this statement, "Well...’ continued the chief ‘you need a strong right shoulder to do neurosurgery because wherever you go and whatever you do, you will always carry the Angel of Death on your right shoulder!", spot on considering the field you chose. One thing that always stayed with me: A man was hit by a train and I was ventilating him. The Physician told me to reposition his head for a better airway. When I put my hand to the back of the patients skull I felt brain matter (sorry to those of you that haven't worked in HC, I know that was gory to hear) What was worse, the Surgeon on call insisted on drilling a burr hole and he used a manual drill like that you'd find in a garage. It seemed archaic to me and we all knew the man was 'clinically dead' before this Dr. drilled the hole. He did expire within minutes of the Physician trying to drain a subdural hematoma. I was mortified this took place. Death and trauma affect people on so many levels if we are exposed to it consistently. Thank you for this!
- Producer31/12/2016How to Help Kids Handle GriefIt's been a little while since we heard the saddening news about Jose Fernandez, 24 year old pitcher for the Florida Marlins who died in a boat accident. I remember reading the news aloud from my Facebook feed that Saturday morning, and catching...
Comments31/12/2016 #2 Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBeeWhen we lose a part of ourselves we may then experience other emotions she ch as emptiness, or hardness or perhaps feeling vacant.
Grief and loss are the means to express our humanity our love as of loved ones, our loss of connection to the life of another. We can experience grief and loss of another even if we have not known the person who has passed on.
I believe in a world where technology and rationality pull us away from our humanity we need to consciously choose to express our humanity. Experiencing and expressing loss for another not only shows love, compassion and care for others , it also shows care for ourselves. Being compassionate with ourselves is just as important as being compassionate with others. Our grief expresses our connection to life.31/12/2016 #1 Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBeeThat is a great post about death and grief. There are many cultures who openly talk about and have rituals to be with their grief and death. There are many cultures where death and feeling and sharing emotions and thoughts about grief and death became taboo. Keep a stiff upper lip type of thing. Be strong . But we know that to deny ourselves our feelings and our thoughts about loss is to deny our humanity.
Loss is a reality. Loss brings many emotions to many different people. Some feel empty, some feel pain and ache for who is no longer physically present. Some have waves of grief and need to release their loss with tears. Others need to talk and others need solitude.
But we all need to learn what we need to do to to allow the loss to be experienced through our bodies and released.
If we deny our loss and the emotion, thoughts and images that arise with loss we lose a part of ourselves.
- Producer08/08/2016Knockin' on Heaven's Door and Filing the PaperworkWhile most of you are glued to the television screen, anxiously awaiting the thrilling conclusion to the epic battle between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton on Tuesday, November 8, I'll be focused on a race that hits closer to home.It's the race to...
- Producer26/07/2016Is Anxiety Disease Interfering With Your Job?We all get anxious when it comes to our jobs, however, Anxiety Disease - also called Anxiety Disorder can lead to missing too much time from work, leaving work early, or ultimately losing your job.Many people aren't aware they have Anxiety disorder...
Comments01/08/2017 #87 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#86 @Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl, I'm so sorry I missed your comment. You hit the nail on the head, "When someone is having anxiety and then realizes they are in a non-supportive environment it escalates the symptoms." Yes, that's so true and many try to hide their symptoms or make excuses which only makes prolongs the symptoms.23/05/2017 #86 Antoinette Capasso-BackdahlI just posted an article about disease naming. It made me think about the way you describe anxiety as a disease. The co-worker you mention was probably in a hostile working environment and being triggered by abusive people. If this environment tolerated the girl that mocked her it likely was an over all reflection of who the organization attracted. So, why do the survivors of such behavior get a break and the ones who are hostile start being called to the carpet. I'll call it hostility disease and it is infectious.
When someone is having anxiety and then realizes they are in a non-supportive environment is escalates the symptoms.
People who like to see people suffer get an enjoyment out of it. What is that disease? I'll call it energy vampire for now.
Anyway, there are labels for these things. But because right now it's "cool" to blame the victims and survivors of rape and being bullied. It's true that you can't avoid every situation but only suicidal people would intentionally want to work with hostile people.21/05/2017 #83 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#79 #81 I just spoke to someone the other day who works remotely out of Cleveland for Marriott. I found out because I can't sleep at night and I called to make a reservation on the phone. For some reason I had a feeling she worked remotely and I asked. We talked for some time and she said that it's going to grow and they are going to do more virtual training (hotels, credit card companies, airlines, car rental agencies and more). Once companies are able to implement more virtual training they can expand their territories for hiring remote workers. She's a night owl like me and works Thurs-Monday from 10:30 pm - 8:30 am and she loves it. Right now many companies need people to live within the vicinity in order to receive training on site. I agree, remote work would be ideal for many who are stay at home moms that may need extra money but don't want to leave their children, people who do have disabilities, yet are able to continue to work- the workforce can be very brutal on people that have open or hidden disabilities. I'm very sorry to hear of everything you've been through but it's also refreshing to hear that you are finding what works for you in order to keep functioning. Those of us with severe anxiety understand that if we don't continue to push ourselves we can end up with full blown agoraphobia and that's a scary thought. Hang in there (easy to say, right?) and lets keep these topics/discussions open. I think it helps when people can finally speak without feeling retribution. It validates that this illness is real, as my dr. told me- it's a medical illness. So, it appears within the Medical community they are progressing!21/05/2017 #82 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#78 I'm sorry to hear that @Shelley Brown! I worked with a woman a few years back who suffered from Anxiety Disorder and panic attacks. She had a very bad one at work once and passed out. I guess she was shaking on the floor real bad right before she passed out. The saddest part of this story, a co-worker of mine told me about it (she was actually my boss). She went on to say, she's strange... she once got all flustered and was flailing on the floor (then the woman telling me this began to mimic the 'flailing' as she called it) and laughed. I became angry and said, well what REALLY happened to her?! She said, oh I think it was an ear problem or something but she over reacted. They had to call an ambulance for her. I don't recall the entire convo because it hurt to hear someone make fun of someone who had a medical issue, it blew me away actually. I will PM you, maybe we can put our brains together and come up with a plan. We'd need a few professionals or at least one along with many story tellers. So, who knows, maybe we can brainstorm and make it happen? I'm game!!21/05/2017 #81 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#76 @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, thank you for your kind words.
Friday, I was happily on my to a half a days worth of appointments. One was the unemployment office and the other three were doctors appointments. I was getting an ultra-sound for my lady parts, a visit with the doctor for a review of my previous lab work that revealed hypothyroid, and then a mammogram. I deviated from my routine slightly and locked my keys in my house.
Had this happened 15 years ago, it would've ruined my day completely. However, I had to take a deep breath and sit in my hallway and think. Sometimes anxiety doesn't allow you to do that.
I found someone to drive me to my appointments, thank goodness another golden nugget! She hung out the entire day getting her errands done and even got in to see an ortho for her knee. It all worked out.
While at my appointments my landlord got the message. By the time I got back, I only had to sit in my hallway for a little over a half an hour to wait for on of my landlords. I was fine, but my landlord let it ruin her day. But I can't fix anyone but me.21/05/2017 #79 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#76 If I hadn't had Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which is a mode of Cognitive Therapy and a few golden nuggets along the way who told me their stories and how they deal with it, I would be lost.
My biggest problem is that I do not like to be pretentious. The unemployment rehab gal wants me to not disclose my issues. This is impossible. I have hands that poor out water and act like a barometer. Also, I have limits. I've tried places that advertise "disabled and veterans" but they are not trained professionals, their work environment hostile, they have a high attrition for employees, they do not treat "normal" employees well, nor do they have the best coping skills.
I would love to create non hostile work environments that do not pay slave wages for the disabled folks who need to work. I would also like to get more companies to offer tele-commute jobs for disabled. I like how Ancestry does their data entry for volunteers. This would be great for me if I could get paid to do it.
The other issue getting employed is this dang activism I embarked on. When you look up my name, you can see the smear campaign. Oh well, I'll have to write a blog defending myself and the army of dicks [Dick Armey's crew] did warn me, that I would not be able to quit because of the internet. So, I'll have to be creative.
The best thing for me is meditation and exercise are the key. It helps tremendously. I was in a series of serious accidents, meditation also helps with pain. Exercise is a challenge because if I exercise too much I injure myself and if I don't exercise enough, I am in deep doo doo.21/05/2017 #77 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#75 Hi @Shelley Brown, please share your story. There is no shame in having an illness. We are not crazy, I actually think many people with anxiety are extremely smart, artsy, writers etc... Tag me if you decide to write about your story, please. I would love to organize a conference (informal) with maybe one or two professionals. I have tons of ideas but I would need a few people who are experienced to help organize. What I'd love to see are others who are willing to share their stories in front of an audience. It would be great to have people who are in treatment, people who've been through different modalities of treatment and found success- even sharing what medications along with therapy have been extremely useful and life changing. I think another aspect that I've been studying would be to add what happens during menopause and how hormone fluctuations can actually cause an increase in Anxiety disorder during these trying years for women. I want the stigma to end, it's sad that we feel we have to put on a smile and go on as if our bodies/brains feel normal, when inside we feel like we are slowly dying at times- which I think @Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl was referring to as well? Never feel shame!!21/05/2017 #76 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#74 I'm so sorry I missed your comment @Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl. I understand the part about giving in. I think that is something many of us struggle with depending on the day, the week or the month(s). Never give up, we can't allow this disorder to rule our lives. It's a struggle, a major struggle but there is always hope with good therapy, a good psychiatrist and support system. I have learned to listen to my body as well, which means if I'm having a very bad day, I just chill. Other days when it's not so bad I push myself to do what I need and find things to do that actually take my mind to another place. I was just telling someone that I love traveling but get so anxious weeks before because of the intrusive (rapid firing) thoughts. Once we are on the road and viewing something outside of my daily environment, I feel like a weight has been lifted. It's a tough fight, but one worth fighting :))20/05/2017 #75 Shelley BrownLisa, I can't thank you enough for writing this story. I am so thankful your brother made it and so so sorry about his friend. Your willingness to share about anxiety disorder, something I have as well, really helps drive it home to that it's not something we should be ashamed of. In fact, because of your generous heart which allows you to share about this, makes me think I may want to write a story about my own struggle. Thank you so much!01/05/2017 #74 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#73 I used to be a master at shielding myself. Overtime, I am not sure what has changed, but I keep finding a way. It's not as if I hadn't been down these winding roads before. I have a sneaking suspicious it is a combination of factors. Sometimes I feel like I should just give in, and decide, I AM DISABLED and other times I do not want to admit and submit to that label because I feel I am able! It is difficult to keep a traditional work schedule. I love to work and am afraid of not being able to make ends meet. Being in transition is stressful. I have to be optimistic.
I too feel the need to know what is happening but must keep it in perspective as to space and time. Finding balance is the key for me.01/05/2017 #73 Lisa 🐝 GallagherHi @Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl, you are so right, it does affect cortisol levels which is one reason people develop belly fat... or better known as that hard to get rid of, dangerous visceral fat. Anxiety disease can cause so many physical diseases. My Dr. told me they consider Anxiety Disease a Medical Condition now.
Meditation helps me if I don't have a full blown panic attack, by then the chemical responses are beyond our control. I wrote of being out on the breakwater in Maine and having a horrific panic attack, I can attest that meditation would not have worked in that situation.
You made great points about the news cycles and media- I've been trying to watch shows that make me laugh. It's hard not to watch the news though because I want to stay updated on world/US events and that has become much more stressful. My husband began watching the news every night over the past 4 months or so, I finally told him he needed to stop and just watch shows that were conducive to his mental health because it was causing him to feel so angry. That's not like my husband at all.30/04/2017 #72 Antoinette Capasso-BackdahlI think the hardest part is the subconscious mind has a better memory.
Anxiety can cause a heart attack and inflammation besides high cortisol levels.
Although meditation for me works well. I cannot always meditate in every situation because things can happen so fast.
Now with the entertainment, news cycle and all media wanting to be all about violence, drama and fear bating, I believe there will be more people with anxiety.
This coupled with the Google talk doctors stating that obesity is linked to the antibiotics and GMO crops, besides being related to heightened cortisol levels. I wonder who the scholars dare to body shame people based on the cycle of revenue pipelines they have created. It would be nice if they acknowledge their cause in the matter. Hopefully they'll just treat people with the dignity and respect they deserve and be grateful for their contribution as being an unsuspecting specimens who lost out on an opportunity to have a better quality of life in what some call FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.01/02/2017 #70 Robert CormackThey did some studies at the University of Toronto, comparing certain centres of the brain using MRIs. Depression causes red areas whereas, when the brain is more stimulated (read happy or relaxed) the centres turn yellow. Both CBT and SSRIs produced the same yellow areas over essentially the same time (SSRIs were quicker but tended to move from red to yellow to red while the CBT patients were more consistent). Yoga and meditation are particularly good before stressful days, parties, lectures, etc. It takes time, but it's important to reduce stress levels whenever possible. Anxiety is really the build up of stress, acting like a release valve. If you think of air suddenly coming out of a tire puncture, that's what anxiety is like. That's why Tony Soprano once said about his panic attacks "It feels like a can of ginger ale going off in my head." Very apt description.01/02/2017 #68 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#66 Hi @Robert Cormack, I agree... I've found after being in therapy for quite a few months now that was the beginning of my tipping point. I always thought maybe there were many triggers but never brought it up to the Dr because I didn't want to sound like a major complainer. Sad that with an illness we still get embarrassed. Thankfully, this is the first Counselor who seems to really know what he is doing. CBT for quite a few months and just began my first session of EMDR followed by some type of meditative techniques to bring the mind back down before I left. As even my Dr. told me, this can work much better than meds- we shall see, I have a lot of hope! I haven't given up on the idea of taking yoga either. Tag me in one of your next buzzes, thanks!