- Producer19/01/2017What are you laughing at?Why do we laugh? Do all cultures and creatures laugh? Is laughter really the best medicine?What happens when we tickle rats?If you are bursting at the seams to find out the answers to these soul searching, contemplative, ridiculous, yet strangely...
Comments20/01/2017 #10 Ken Boddie#6 Thanks for your thoughts, Gert, and of course the joke, which fits into the 'Mismatch of Expectation and Reality' category. This also brings up the concept of miscommunication by accident when we can only really laugh when we are in a remote situation or really know a person well, rather than in a face to face situation, particularly with strangers. I remember the tale of the unfortunate overseas student who arrived in UK and got himself into a number of awkward situations by frequently asking for "hairy twot". After a number of episodes (embarrassing to him but hilarious to others) it transpired he was looking for directions to Herriot Watt University.19/01/2017 #7 Kevin PashukI was waiting for the punch line Ken...
Seriously though, some great questions. Why do we laugh? Why did it evolve so that only one type of shrieking laughter is present in a restaurant when you and your partner are trying to have a semi-romantic evening?
In a recent post I wrote on people's use of titles (vs. experience), I made mention of someone calling themselves "Chief Giggles Officer". I wrote that in a mocking tone. I stand corrected. Any of the people on the panel of the television show you referenced likely qualify for that title.19/01/2017 #6 Gert Scholtz@Ken Boddie An intriguing post Ken. I think we laugh for a few reasons. As a means of social bonding; where group cohesion was fostered long ago by touch, as groups increased in size verbal grooming and bonding replaced it – language, laughter and song. The other reason is that laughter is a response to unexpected juxtapositions or ideas – we have a certain train of thought or a fixed perspective and laughter is the response to having it changed and altered in an unforeseen way. Mostly we laugh because it feels good – the chemicals released in the body because of it, makes it a self-seeking act. The other side of the question is interesting too: why do we (try to) induce laughter in others? A long list it could be.
According to a poll by Prof Richard Wiseman of the UK, here is the joke voted funniest: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
- Producer09/01/2017What emotional intelligence means to me (revised)I keep seeing this reference to “emotional intelligence” on social media. I can’t read the whole article lots of times because it’s boring to me, and I don’t really understand what they’re talking about. The first time I saw it was around 2005. I...
Comments09/01/2017 #5 Edythe RichardsHello all,
Thank you for posting your thoughts on EI (or EQ, as I call it). I am new here to this platform, so please go easy on me!
I am a certified Emotional Intelligence practitioner. After a great deal of research into this subject myself, I sought out to become certified in the most statistically reliable model of EQ (and there are more than a few out there): the EQ-i 2.0, which also includes a valid self-report, when administered correctly.
Based on what you’ve described, this (to me) doesn’t sound like Emotional Intelligence at all (particularly the sharing of “secrets”), which is quite unfortunate. When it is presented correctly, by someone who understand what it does (and does not) measure, it is not only empowering, but actionable. Results are malleable, and b/c coaching is part of this process, one’s EQ “score” not only does, but should change when goals are set and action is taken.
For more information about what EQ is and isn’t, I have a short article on my blog: http://atopcareer.com/eq-ei-emotional-intelligence-overview/, and I’ll be posting more on this topic once I become familiar with this medium.09/01/2017 #3 Devesh Bhatt#2 I think the inner anchor is the ideal.anchor, it just needs the right trigger. It makes our filters working fine, most people link their inner anchor to a memory and courage, I like to link it with patience.
Why I am.interested in EI is because of 3 things :
A) someone I least expected who belonged to this field helped me, I got curious and the more I studied it the more shameless greedy people emerged who were the cut from the exact same cloth as phoney preachers.
B) it has less to do with coaching and more with the habituation of sled contempt for the serious.cases and spoon feeding for many who don't have time to sort themselves out.
C) Now I want to get work from clients and I find all this coaching etc when they themselves have diminishing revenue very unacceptable, spend 10 % of that on me or 50% of that on yourself , Get on your feet and start earning...Isn't spend when the wallets empty. Makes you more vulnerable.also I was their I could be their again.
This is an assumption, I believe childhood learning coupled with one good teacher moulds the inner anchor, the teacher could be family/freind/teacher/anyone.cant their be a way of making it consistent09/01/2017 #1 Devesh BhattFirst we perceive the world as a harmful environment and seek refuge in coaching, therapy, emotional intelligence etc.
Then we areade aware of the exploitation and remove ourselves from that environment.
What is the probability of a person bouncing in and out of places ?
Also, couldn't a person develop and anchor/ refuge for self irrespective of the environment around and use that anchor to bounce back into a sensible emotional aware being? Stuff I ask myself and share here.
- Producer11/01/2017Did the executive coaching industry fail?The dose makes the poison Currently, terms like authenticity, emotional intelligence, mindfulness are trending. We want to optimize the way we communicate, we want to be mindful, we want to grow and become more efficient and productive. Companies...
Comments15/01/2017 #34 Mohammed Sultan#33 The concept has been developed specially for top management who are going to qualify for leadership positions and have no time to deal with everyday routine affairs.The intervention is done to widen the time window of the trainees based on a vision building exercise and how could they relate the current vision with the rapidly changing conditions in the marketplace.13/01/2017 #31 Mohammed Sultan#28 In "time leadership" we help the leader investigates h/his relation with "time and decisions" in a different way based on h/his "core interests" not his "core skills".The time horizon of time leadership will be stretched more beyond the traditional leadership tasks of operational visioning to the philosophical part of their org vision which includes its identity and purpose.Time leadership will lead to the emergence of a new set of an organizational "core competences" based on the common interests of its people and rooted in the success moments in which they have done things differently.Time leadership,at the end ,will help create an org "common intuition" and expand the cognitive span of its executives beyond the norm and the logic of the traditional leadership tasks.13/01/2017 #30 Phil Friedman#29 Aurorasa, not saying that training is completely irrelevant. However, it is well known that practitioners who are successful with one approach in a coaching or clinical counseling field are very often successful using other approaches as well. While some are not successful using the same approaches, no matter what. Leading to the conclusion that the contribution made by the practitioner him- or herself is often the key to success. When it comes to dealing with human needs and frailty, you can't just read a book or take a course, and, wham bang, become good at helping people. In your case, for example, I personally perceive a level of empathy and sympathy that cannot be taught but must be nurtured and developed.13/01/2017 #27 Aurorasa Sima#19 I think I was more aiming at the delivery (including follow-up) than the quality of coaches.
I have to say that I started coaching only 3 years ago (and not exclusively executives) so that I have definitely not seen it all or know it all.
What you are saying about prices seems to be a good point. Maybe we should negotiate from the beginning on that follow-ups are necessary.13/01/2017 #26 Aurorasa Sima#18 Well, that´s an interesting tax construct.
I´m not saying that I think the quality of coaches is not good. Often it would help if there would be a follow-up after a training.
What is difficult, especially if you can´t bill the time, is keeping people motivated to repeat whatever information has been shared until it became a skill or habit.
Often, we go back to our stressful jobs and forget about the training/coaching right after it ended, even though we felt the content made sense and can help us.12/01/2017 #22 Mohammed Sultan@Aurora Sima. The problem with leadership coaching is that many executives are trained on "core skills" not "core interests".Every executive based on his or her core skills wants to be a leader,but the question is ;are they really have deep interests in creative thinking and the instinct of taking risks rather than the ambition and the prestige of being leaders by the title?Nowadays, leadership training should go beyond "time management" to "time leadership" Executives are in a more need to be trained on how they conceive their leadership role for the future and in different boundaries.The more the coach can expand the cognitive power of the trainee ,the more the individual will be able to stretch his or her thinking beyond the norm, and the more the trainee will be able to pay attention to what's left unsaid or what else question? "Time leadership" training will surface the moments when the trainee has made something different.The more you analyze them you will find the themes or the threads that run through them, and the more you can help him/her to shape their core interests.Thank you for your insightful article.12/01/2017 #21 Robert Bacal#20 Within each of the professional areas you highlight, there exists models and schools of thoughts that are student centred, client centred, and NOT practitioner centred. Of course, you'd have to have more than a passing knowledge about these disciplines to know that.12/01/2017 #20 Phil Friedman#19 Pascal and Aurorasa, what People have to realize is that coaching -- like teaching, clinical psychology, and counseling -- is practitioner-centric. Methods, schools of thought, techniques all matter less than WHO THE PERSON IS who is doing it. Effective coaches grow organically, not made. And paying to take and complete a course doesn't turn someone into a coach. Of course, neither does standing on a rock and proclaiming oneself the leader of the next evolutionary level of mankind. Caveat emptor. Cheers!12/01/2017 #19 Pascal Derrientoo many coaches are kill the coaching industry, in Ireland there is an abnormal ratio of coaches, consultants per square meter it is actually frightening. The excellent ones get shafted by the mediocre ones who offer great prices.....and average service delivery, they all worship gurus like Tony Robbins to a point of obsession.
It is an industry that need to reset itself but is not homogeneous so maybe it is only a phase.... but I am tired and sometimes cynical when I hear the same things form interchangeable consultant. So to your quesiton, has it failed probably not but the edge is not too far either:-)12/01/2017 #18 Devesh BhattOne shoe doesn't fit all. It's not an excuse to deny core issues.
It is derived from bad policies, bad processes, bad communication or bad people.
I don't think it's a failure, it overperformed and is now normalising to the genuine people when people have become aware .
They may not know your field but they certainly know how to evaluate coaches better.
Funny thing in India, Hiring Executive coaches can save companies' tax but hiring an operations/business consultant gets both of us taxed. Clients want to hire an executive coach who teaches their manager operations in the guise of leadership. I don't pick up such assignments because the label would be very restrictive unless they mention my scope in the contract.12/01/2017 #17 Don 🐝 Kerr@Aurorasa Sima It's great to see you active. Now, I don't know if it's IQ, EQ or FQ (careful pronouncing that last one) but I entered the professional working world in 1977. In the ensuing 40 years technology has made the great leap forward. From what I can see, human resource management (a misnomer if ever there was one) hasn't changed one goddamn bit except for the adoption of new jargon, lingo and buzz. For all of the corporate world's claims to care for the well being of their most valuable asset they continue to give short shrift to supporting the real humans who work for them. Wall Street, Bay Street, or The City - they demand quarterly results and if those are put in jeopardy by the collateral damage of human kind - too bad. Perhaps there are some shining examples that disprove this - Google, Aetna, Apple, Manulife? Not sure. That would be an interesting track to follow and maybe I shall for another day. In the meantime, thanks again for provoking thought in a meaningful way!11/01/2017 #15 Aurorasa SimaGood point, Ian. Anything that has to do with changing your ressourceful brain is tricky. The approach you suggested would definitely be the way to go.
I could see smaller companies with wise leaders adopting it. Large corporations, public companies not so much. It´s not easy to show the ROI on gratitude. Respect ends when sales targets are not met.
And if companies adapt it ... I´m working on an article "mindfuless to go". Some companies ARE adopting mindfulness programs. But it´s more a play on the old game of increasing productivity and helping people who are suffering from too much pressure to endure even more.
I deliver my EI training over a period of 30 days and then two more components on days 50 and 80. Supporting people after the initial motivations fades is the hard part.
- Producer09/01/2017The DrivenJake felt great. It was a perfect Monday morning in early spring. A deep blue sky formed a canopy over the awakening life all around him. With great contentment and a generous helping of gratitude Jake surveyed his beautiful garden with the early...
Comments09/01/2017 #2 Aurorasa SimaYour piece of art reminded me a bit of Joostein Gardeners "Sophies World". It´s totally different, but what both have in common is that they make a complicated and sometimes dry topic interesting and approachable for everyone.
I´ll open an account and check the offering out.09/01/2017 #1 Mohammed A. JawadAh, what a human equation! Sometimes, we are a mixture of just wobbling emotions, berserk thoughts and chemical imbalances within our bodies. Is it the heart that needs wise counsel or mind needs a soothing dose of tranquility? Or best our bodies need capsules of chemical entities to balance the mayhem of chemical dysfunctions? Perhaps the level of treatment varies and by simplicity there's immense remedies from the precepts of patience.
- 05/01/2017Translation: If you are stuck or need a dose energy, but have no time at all - refresh in just five minutes and gain clarity and new energy.
For the desired effect, please use headphones.
PLEASE NOTE: The audio contains binaural sounds and must not be used while operating machinery or if you are epileptic.Projekt Power Truth Rush Meditation / Brain Entrainment Wenn Sie eine Dose Energie benötigen, oder eine Antwort auf eine Frage und haben überhaupt keine Zeit, stöpseln Sie einfach den Kopfhörer ein und lassen Sie...
Comments06/01/2017 #8 Don 🐝 Kerr@Aurorasa Sima There is some fascinating research being done by the Canadian Association for Mental Health on the use of nearly sub-aural (is that a word?) sound to assist in treating depression and other maladies. This is very interesting. Sharing with the Mindfulness hive.06/01/2017 #5 Aurorasa Sima#3 The movie does not serve any other purpose than allowing me to put it on youtube. Most people´s brains waves are stimulated by the difference in tone on right and left ear, so that they experience a stronger effect than from meditation alone.
Thanks for sharing about your experience.06/01/2017 #3 Ken Boddie#2 Wide awake this time but, sorry to say, Aurorasa, that even with my headphones on there was still no energy boost and nothing enlightening ..... except of course the music was soothing. Pardon me for making light of something with which I have no understanding, but I would have thought that watching a series of clockwise-rotating well-lit orifices would have sparked some affinity with my anal character? Am I perhaps the exception that proves the rule? Presumably others have obtained some benefit from watching this strange revolving musical vision?
- Producer04/01/2017Defensive Behaviour ........a small business perspectiveI am wrestling with team members who have become defensive in their responses to performance needs of our operations. This is normal when you are trying to grow leaders within an organization. Leadership growth thrust folks into unknown territory...
Comments06/01/2017 #20 Harvey Lloyd#18 I really dont wont to get into the specific personal issues within the dynamic. But think i can explain from the post the growth into leadership perspective.
When we don't know something or our education or self confidence is challenged we tend to defend the current way of doing things. A four year degree may walk into a room with a bunch of PHD's in your profession and be intimidated or another emotional reaction. Your presentation may appear defensive to the others.
Ours is a change to a more media centric communications style. Enhancing our relationship with our customer through media engagement.
It requires us to get outside of our normal ways of communications and be intentional, not conversational. This is challenging for our team of professionals. Engagement through knowledge is one thing but engagement through understanding motivations and supporting them is quite another.
I appreciate your inquiry and do enjoy different perspectives. I can get a in a box sometimes. Also defensiveness is a broad topic that would require a series of posts to discuss the nuances of their creation and acceptance into our identity.05/01/2017 #19 Max🐝 J. Carter#14 No one ever hits it perfect every time. ;)
We often allow time to be a limiting factor in these face to face situations where defensive behavior presents itself. It is going against our plan in our head and it is not emotional laziness that stops us it is often impatience that brings up our defensive behavior when we meet with resistance.
In communication we often forget that language is all metaphorical and we attach meanings different at times. You mention New York, depending on what block you are on the slang can change and communication can be more difficult. When I was in the Air Force people came from all over.
Taking time to get to know the people we are working with and their history can often identify potential communication that might put them on the defensive based on the slang from where they are from.
This again is where I find the investigative response being built can help avoid these issues. Instead of getting defensive when someone uses a word I might normally find upsetting based on my context I am applying to the metaphor may not be what they intended and it is better for me to ask for clarification than allow myself to become defensive in my response to a perceived verbal attack that might not even be an attack.
Even if it is, choosing the investigative route allows for more questions to see if resolution can be found and defensive behavior can be removed from the equation in favor of more evolved thinking that leads to more evolved behavior.05/01/2017 #18 Lyon BraveI wish you would have used some examples of the defensive behavior you are seeing at work. There are a lot of ways people can seem defensive. I also wished you would of explained some triggers. You mention growing leaders causes people to be defensive? Is it the specific person who is being groomed for a leadership position, defensive, or is it other coworkers who feel left out? Shouldn't growth be exciting and not cause people to feel guarded. What is the hierarchical structure like in this business? Haha I guess I like details.05/01/2017 #17 Harvey Lloyd#13 "It takes intent and work on a daily basis" The intent cant begin until you recognize the behavior exists. In my growth as a leader and company i have discovered in myself and in team members we operate until we become uncomfortable or challenged. Once there, we can become defensive of past behaviors or we can self analysis where we are and what is needed to grow out.
The question is usually not about defend, but how long do you dwell there?
Sounds simple from the outside looking in, but i think we have all been and will be at certain growth areas where we need to re-access our behaviors.05/01/2017 #16 Harvey Lloyd#11 I wish it were a please thing, these are typically easy to lead. No, its a personal growth thing. We are asking professionals of various fields to develop in areas they were not educated within. This is the plight of small business, everyone needs to wear different hats.
I am always uncomfortable with bending ones training in new directions and utilizing HR tactics to bring them along. I enjoy growing folks and sharing the journey.
Thanks for your comment and have been where you discussed, in my earlier years i sought relationships and understood that with this, leadership would be easy. That was a school of hard knocks journey.05/01/2017 #15 Harvey Lloyd#12 Thanks for the comments and you clearly broadened the discussion out to include leadership styles. Leadership styles are an important aspect of change management and what triggers discussion about which style, is what the leader experiences within the feedback loop.
When i sense feedback that is defensive i realize that i may have assumed a few things that i shouldn't and now and individual may become defensive.
Intentions are often misinterpreted. We have two opportunities for this to self correct. The leader recognizes and adjusts or the team member seeks understanding. The best direction is always from the team member. It shows the leader that courage and responsibility exists within the member.05/01/2017 #14 Harvey Lloyd#13 Max thanks for your comment and i agree it does take two sides to create a defensive position. Within change management you are moving perspectives along with goals.
I would like to say that you hit it perfect each time but this is not the case. Time constraints and possibly emotional laziness you step through some aspects without thinking about the impact on others.
Defensiveness is a misinterpretation of events or a natural response to attack, if i may borrow your word. We have moved past the attack style of leadership. But we are in the midst of realigning our communications style.
The post was more an awareness initiator. Your comments expose other elements of the process.05/01/2017 #13 Max🐝 J. CarterWhat's there to defend?
When I designed out Protection Through Right Action it was to create a thought process that allow one to not feel the need to defend.
To feel the need to defend means there must be an attack.
This is where the results of my piece on Changing Instincts comes into place.
Identify the situations which bring up the defensive response or make you feel as though you are being attacked and start changing the reaction/response/insticnct to investigate as often in life the idea of needing to defend ourselves is done out of fear of losing status or having our image dented. Social media multiplies this effect as many have their online image tied to their career.
In my corporate days and some of the leadership material I have written I talk about tailoring your message to the counter. You know who the "mob" boss is in the group and if you tailor your message to them and take away the counters they might make you shore up your message and communication skills and learn how to motivate them better. It was the experience I had with my direct reports based on the 2 following ideas.
Take the ability to attack away and you never have to worry about defending anything.
Never take an attacking posture and no one need defend themselves from you.
Just as any behavior our defensive behavior starts with a primal instinct and is cultivated by our experiences and our choices. It is always within our personal power to change anything about us behaviorally. It takes intent and work on a daily basis and progress will be made and anyone can retrain their instincts and get a handle on their behavior better through better self talk which is where our personal programming is done.05/01/2017 #12 Preston Vander VenSometimes if there is a lot of defensiveness within the group the style of Leadership needs to change depending on the situation. Five styles of leadership generally are recognized.
Telling (or ordering) - The leader alone identifies the problem, makes the decisions, and directs the activities. This style appears autocratic and may or may not involve opinions of the group members.
Persuading (or Selling) - In this style of leadership, the decision has already been made by the leader. Having made the decision, the leader must sell it to the group to get the cooperation.
Consulting - Group members participate and provide input. The leader may suggest a tentative decision or plan and get the group’s reaction. Having consulted the group, the leader still makes the final decision, usually based on group consensus. If consensus can’t be reached, the group is encouraged to note this and follow the desires of the majority.
Delegating - The leader identifies the problem, sets certain guidelines, boundaries, or rules, and then turns the situation to be solved over to the group or one of its members. The leader accepts the decision of the group if it is within the boundaries established of the group. While authority may be delegated, the responsibility still remains with the leader.
Joining - The leader steps down as leader and now joins the group. The leader agree in advance to abide by the entire group decision. It is important to remember that “Joining” the group is still leadership. Before this step, allows consider the resources of the group.
No single leadership style is “best.” Each depends on the situation, experience of the people in the group, and the task at hand. As leadership styles move from Telling to Joining, the person’s authority appear to diminish and the group’s participation increases.05/01/2017 #10 Devesh Bhatt#9 or maybe time constraints are the exact tool to manipulate others to function as we please, haste doesn't permit them to evaluate. Soon, by the time they move under good management they have this defensive mechanism which refuses to work without sufficient data even when the data constraint is genuine. The outdated narrative is not as outdated.
An example, as an employee I could have been handed the entire information to function right away, but I was made to do the each step without the inputs for the subsequent running, I did not mind the extra running but I certainly felt cheated because many unethical acts were done by my hand repeatedly which were revealed as unethical after seeing the big picture.
I was adviced to apply the tactic of evasion and reversing the time constraint on the boss who would have to yield information for action or else find another resource.
A few years down the line I realised the shrewd employer and employees had found new subjects to exploit in different companies , teaching each other the art of manipulation.04/01/2017 #8 Devesh Bhatt#5 180 degrees from the objective with subtle tactics of opposition.
Yet the defensive mechanism is rooted in perceived threats or a tough stand because they don't want to attach hope to the negotiables
Now if we look at the threat,, the recession into the childhood narrative seems like a generalisation because it has specific triggers of Social conditioning or much worse traumatic corelations.
The real constraint here is not convincing them, but convincing them to change the stance within the given time constraints, it always is.
What we need to understand are the triggers of motivation that may distract them from their own tactics.
They are thinking risk, reward and responsibility and the scope for error in the intangibles, all factor heavily in a small business, specially for leaders.
What makes people vulnerable and get defensive - the answer vests in the people, the diagnosis maybe worked as per mentioned frameworks but the actual application requires decision making experience that you already have.. Aligning your method with this theory for replication may not yield a desirable result...instead if you could divulge how you would solve the problem, it can be traced back and linked to behaviour I business problems including the common ailments across all businesses.04/01/2017 #6 Adam Weedy#5 Ok, the best way to deal with a defensive person is to reverse the centerfuge by separating them from the team. ie. having a private conversation. Secondly, explain to the defensive person how the initiative is beneficial to their current position - this should eliminate the "fear" which is driving their behavior. Lastly, if the above doesn't work - replace that person with someone who is talented and interested in solutions.04/01/2017 #5 Harvey Lloyd#3 #4 The post should represent a skill set of dealing with defensive people or finding yourself in a defensive position.
Defensive conversations are like a centerfuge they become concentrated and focused 180 degrees from the objective.
We should have strategies that allow us to recover back to the objective.04/01/2017 #4 Adam WeedyMy perspective for what it's worth: I see defensive behavior among people who were hired for the wrong reasons. They have a mix of "non-threatening" and "aggressive" traits which assist their quest for elevation. Their interest in the company they're working for is consequential at best.04/01/2017 #3 Devesh BhattContd
The consistent method which I have witnessed but I have not been able to practice effectively
Manipulate others into submission with hints of intent and position as points of reference that there was no dishonesty in the negotistions /talks... Both parties are familiar with the unsaid nuances and both update their narratives with new needs and new strategies... Unfortunately customers in North and Western India also negotiate hard as they don't trust the law , the processes and the company.
This is how I relate to your post while I read it again to gain more insights to your references, perhaps improve my learning.04/01/2017 #2 Devesh BhattEnlightening. Thanks..
If I may
My assumptions : every response is an outdated narrative. Defence mechanism is a cocoon and not a shell, to safely update narratives without present our vulnerabilities.
Why do people assume a cocoon as a shell? Reasons may range from lack of trust on people/uncertainty, adaptability; fear; complacency coupled with doubts; loss of control; and as you mentioned unintentional conditioning.
We are concerned with the shell and reasons are irrelevant for now, they hold value in revising systems, right now the concern is the shell - the outdated narrative.
My method --- transparent engagement + cutting through the clutter -- patiently with customers and patiently or aggressively as the time constraints demand with vendors and coworkers, demarcating accountability (against transparency) and leading by example..with papers and precedents of progress as the bedrock -- the outdated narrative has been changed before, why stop now? ... This process in my experience has been inconsistent as it leaves a bad taste for the next cycle and people get back with stronger shells... Updated systems need to be built with collaboration and it never hurts to give them credit for merely participating even though they have not given any substantial inputs -- only barrier time constraints which do not allow for appeasement and apologies
- Producer03/01/2017How to Use Your Whole Brain to Generate IdeasIt's arguably the most popular theory of all time.The split brain theory states that the left hemisphere of your brain brain is logical, analytical and boring. It associates with vocal intelligence and gets you through life acceptably. Left...
Comments03/01/2017 #3 Harvey LloydThis is an excellent concept and rings very true as you stated with your question, "What Stifles Creativity? " This is a question i try and answer everyday in my profession. When faced with leadership issues you not only have the creative steps of going forward but you have others in the organization that require you to bring them along. The overall answer to the question is fear.
A broad answer but as @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher stated, "I thought it was a crazy idea...",overcoming our own limitations is the first key to becoming creative. Mind mapping i can only assume must be done within a vacuum of no fear. When you develop links across hemispheres their can't be channeling based on fears already established, they must flow freely.
Thanks for the post03/01/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI like the idea of drawing a visual mind map @Amarish J. Khan 🐝. When I have time I will have to give it a try. It's true that we utilize both sides of our brain. It even works in cases of medical issues. I have a damaged nerve inside my inner ear which is closely connected to the Cerebellum. I was taught to do brain exercises to allow another part of my brain to compensate for the vertigo. I thought it was a crazy idea at first but it worked. It didn't get rid of it but I gained my balance back and most of my vertigo is under control now. They've even removed one side of the brain in children who had chronic, uncontrolled seizures and found the kids were able to function just as highly with one half of their brain & the seizures diminished greatly or disappeared.
- Producer15/12/2016How Addictions Are Created In the BrainOnce the brain becomes dependent on substances for pleasure, it becomes difficult to discontinue the use of these substances. Even when a person has made a conscious decision to abstain from drugs or alcohol, the hippocampus remembers how good these...
Comments16/12/2016 #7 Lisa 🐝 GallagherWell written buzz @Craig Middleton. Dopamine is the pleasure center of our brains. There are healthy addictions and then the addictions you mentioned. Maybe that center of the brain is unable to detect whether we crave a healthy vs. unhealthy addiction. I agree, it's been proven Scientifically that Alcoholism and Drug addiction are diseases and I think every family has an immediate family member or relative that suffers or did suffer. I find it's vital if it runs in families to try and educate our children when they are young about the addiction, be honest and explain the illness by relating it to the person who is addicted because it may help kids later in life to understand they could be next w/out warning. Thanks for this, it's an important topic!16/12/2016 #6 Mohammed A. JawadAh, Craig, you've made a post-mortem of addiction with this informative post. But, is really addiction a disease? Is it contagious or static? Well then, an addict is a diseased person! Right? Perhaps, before dealing in medical terms, if we humans are aware of what's right and what's wrong, what's good and what's evil, we become not prey to devil's temptations and sickening habits. In fact, addiction is a sort weakness, an outcome after embracing harmful substances that weakens reasoning, emotions and stamina. It's after all true realization, bent of conscience, giving worth to temporal life, contentment and gratitude towards the Almighty Lord can kick off this addiction. With the presence of these, even counsel and medicines work.16/12/2016 #5 Praveen Raj GullepalliVery insightful! Dear Craig, when you say Addiction is a disease and not a lack of Will, you classify it as something that can be treated and cured. Which is a great thing indeed! Not all addiction is bad...some of us are addicted to work ;) or cycling...or playing music etc., as professionals! So not all addiction is a disease as Max opined. We understand what kind of addiction is harmful here of course and can obviously self-define for convenience :) It really makes me think harder about why some yogis and sages have held positive equanimity so high. They always maintained that a high would be followed by a low. Inevitable. So better to cultivate the mind not to feel joy or pain; or try not to be affected by either - is what they tried to say in their own way. Hmmm!16/12/2016 #4 Ian WeinbergExcellent article. Thanks for posting. That's the reason why we have such s challenge moving an individual away from an addiction (any addiction). It's a chemical thing and therefore you need to sustitute with meaningful/purposeful activities which causes the same or more dopamine to be secreted.16/12/2016 #1 Max🐝 J. CarterI have always disagreed with the idea of addiction being a disease. Here' why.
You can addicted to anything and it is not limited to substances. Anything that activates the pleasure center can become addictive.
People get addicted to all kinds of activities and not substances alone. Alcoholism can be passed down genetically however not all addictions are the same.
- 14/12/2016Just left a review of this fabulous book by a great bee, @Deb Lange and mentioned the fact that we met on beBee!!!
Here is the most interesting fact about Deb Lange's book. It is helping me so much, that I want to spend all my available time playing, and walking, and sensing the world around me – I keep popping away from my keyboard when I sit down to write a review.
I recently had the good fortune to meet Deb on a new social media site – beBee. We live in such a magical time. You can synchronistically bump into an author on the other side of the world, a few months before her book is published, strike up a few conversations, and then when the book is available – it is the exact guide that you need to help you help yourself through a period of immense transition.
This is truly a MUST EXPERIENCE book as read is too one-dimensional to describe the full impact of learning about embodied wisdom. Deb Lange is a marvelous guide through the rites of passage that will allow us to operate with a full body intelligence.
I really recommend that anyone looking to understand their sensory-based body wisdom get a copy of this book - the words and illustrations partner to create a sense of feeling what one is reading.
- 14/12/2016I am not a big proponent of recipie music for a particular effect but.....it can't hurt to try. And the list looks interesting. If you have a chance, let me know what your experience was.Neuroscience Says Listening to This Song Reduces Anxiety by Up to 65 Percentwww.inc.com Sure to both stir your soul and calm your nervous...
Comments14/12/2016 #4 Aurorasa Sima#2 Sometimes claims people make regarding brainwave entrainment are unrealistic. I am not sure about putting a percentage on the amount of stress reduction.
But I strongly believe in it and include binaural audio in my training and have nothing but great (personal and clients) experience with it.
Especially, for people who hate mediation or who want a little helper when they want to make changes it´s gold.
IF you are interested, here is a link with a list of publications
https://www.transparentcorp.com/research/14/12/2016 #3 Max🐝 J. CarterThat was fascinating @Sararh Jacobovici.
I am not going to start song titles, howsoever there is a lot of music you can listen to that can do the same for you. I have a few that cut my stress when I crank it to 11 almost instantly.
Thank you for sharing this article.
- 13/12/2016"Working with Gary has given me the opportunity to become aware of how my emotions affect his physical state – and while it can be truly difficult to confront my culpability in the moment – overall this clarity is a gift. Because until I could see the damage of raging emotions physically, I was not doing the best job of maintaining my own awareness. Because there was very little cost to my physical stamina."
~ @Deb 🐝 HelfrichWhat Emotions Have To Do With Itwww.outthinkingparkinsons.com For those of us lucky enough to share our lives with someone with Parkinson's we can use this as an opportunity for both of us to learn something about self-awareness and the hope that can arise from noticing and implementing simple...
Comments14/12/2016 #2 Deb🐝 Lange#1 great sharing about learning from and with someone with parkinsons . I have learnt much from working with someone with chronic fatigue - how energy can shift in a moment, how not being authentic is draining to both people, how being authentic is life-giving and much more13/12/2016 #1 Deb 🐝 HelfrichThis is a post I wrote back in March that talks about looking at our emotions through the lens of how they affect the physical symptoms of Parkinson's.
The physical toll of 'Raging' emotions might not be so obvious to most of us, but our bodies are unquestionably taking a hit.
- Producer11/12/2016Getting to see the big picture in business.Image credit: Temperate Climate Permaculture This post will introduce the reader to the visual, experiential Branching Out Patterns* tool, used to identify and assess business teams’ problems. Introduction: Tools represent...
Comments12/12/2016 #23 Harvey Lloyd#22 I agree with your sentiments here. I realize though that the language of wisdom must transcend the ideological to the present of human existence. Social media is not bad but it has offered new directions that i don't sense will allow us to evolve as a species.
I share your insights with the group here that has been diligently discussing the tenuous situation of emotions and their outcomes. Like social media, emotions are not bad or good until we discern their value within the human dynamic. Although we can empathise with an individual and their needs, the results of their emotions as felt by mankind is another story. We can't merge the two.
This sounds like a harsh statement, and it is. My emotions and how they direct me should have two components, others and then myself, and in that order. Should i choose myself first, then i should be prepared for the consequences of my actions. I am ok with those who place themselves first within their emotional sphere but, bare in mind that i am referring to human existence within a large social group. (Not personal reflective self awareness styled self talk.)
Given this position, i would suggest that it creates interdependencies that propels mankind forward. Otherwise, with me first we create dependencies that separate us at the fundamental level. Your matrix is capturing the dichotomy.12/12/2016 #22 Sara JacoboviciPart 2/2: This leads me to what #19, @Harvey Lloyd captures when he writes: "The ability to carry in my hand technology that allows for total connectivity has allowed me to live virtually while losing my skills within the human experience." It's not so much technology that I am concerned about, it's the impact technology has on "re-wiring" who we are. We are sensory beings and if we are deprived of certain sensory experiences, the same people that imagined these new devices will no longer be able to see beyond their function.12/12/2016 #21 Sara JacoboviciPart 1/2: #14 #17 #18 Gentlemen, @David B. Grinberg, @CityVP Manjit and @Mohammed Sultan, your discussion is invaluable and I am excited to see it arise here. The depth of the comments; self-reflective, intelligent, informative and interpretative, and the questions that are raised, prove that it is emotion, especially fear, that distract from our ability to stay grounded in our human capacity. David, you who look out beyond the boundaries of earth, can not speak of limits and scope. Manjit proves that technologically based devices cannot replace humans when he says, "...explore flow with my learned capabilities to handle variety of information in a way that best represents my exploration. " Only a human (like Manjit) can think and express himself in this way. Another example comes from Mohammed Sultan when he differentiates between creative thinking which is binding to the moment and creative thinking that can also work in different boundaries. This can only come from a human source.12/12/2016 #20 Harvey Lloyd#14 I will have to go with you on this thought pattern. Although i understand the reply of @CityVP Manjit i believe we speak of two very different aspects of the discussions.
Our journey of technology is one aspect while the impact of current technology is another. The future of technology may promise many things, healthcare, human safety and productivity, but what does that world look like based on where we are now? Clearly technology is leading the way to a new society that i don't think we have thought through. Many consumers who once were our customers are now without work, so they cant consume. We will no longer be able to barter our time for money and consume. Technology is taking the value of our time from the barter equation.
I am not against technology, but am stating that if tech is going to change the barter system we have, then shouldn't we be working on that at the same rate as tech? If we think about it, i believe we can see tech at the center of the have and have not debate and the narrowing of the middle class.12/12/2016 #19 Harvey Lloyd@Sara Jacobovici you are continuing to shed light in dark areas. Our challenging emotions are typically our yield and stop signs. But like when we experience these signs in driving we are called to act a certain way, then so we should when experiencing these emotions. Emotions should not change the journey but rather enhance our experience on the journey. Just as the signs of the road keep us safe.
In our daily professional lives we have people we journey with and this causes these yielding emotions to come forward. Most importantly though we have to reconcile these emotions with each other. This is the human experience. Clearly, though there is a new kid on the block that i think you touch on. Technology.
I find technology foreboding. It introduces to each group of professionals a myriad of data sets that can overwhelm and can also be generated in such a way that replaces humans. In reviewing the outputs of technology we now create a third participant within the discussion You/Me/Data. But data is binary in the sense that it is right or wrong about the future as perceived. Also, data is subjective in its appearance and collection.
Although our imaginations did create the technology i don't believe we thought through the impact. I enjoy the impact up to the point my job, career, fiscal stability gets affected. The ability to carry in my hand technology that allows for total connectivity has allowed me to live virtually while losing my skills within the human experience.
Your tree and understanding of problem solving comes from your history without the technology. What of the new/next generations that all they know is tech? Will they or can they grasp the concepts presented here?12/12/2016 #18 Mohammed Sultan#17 Thanks for sharing your link.When we compare singularity or AI with what's been shared by @ Sara Jacobovici we at once will realize that both are talking about the creative thinking,but from two different angles.Sara is talking about creative thinking which is binding to the moment and can improve the current state of workplaces performance in the short term.Her creative thinking can also work in different boundaries anchored by the same rules,but can't be conceived for uncertain future.Whereas singularity is not limited to specific" time horizon" and can be conceived for the future and also in different boundaries.As a researcher I don't believe in the power of singularity or AI in which one can be vividly aware or see himself functioning a decade from now.Singularity of such kind that can tell the future or control it, is only owned by the power of God,otherwise scientists could have hurried up to clone it for the ordinary people.12/12/2016 #17 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#16 Dear @David B. Grinberg you do know what those limits and scopes are because that is the emotional response that Sara is talking about here, and thus when I am pursuing information in how I am able to receive it, whether it is relevant that I understand it now and to see what I can grasp immediately, without setting out acres of personal time trying to understand these things at a deeper level. That deeper level has one compass which is to know our own flow. If we become overwhelmed we know we have flown to high or engaged in too many areas at once, or if we are underwhelmed then we know we have room to explore more.
Take this proponent for singularity who wrote their thoughts about it, relating positive thinking with singularity - of course that is the opinion of this individual but this opinion is well within both of our limits and scope - of course all dependent on what else is occupying our field of attention at the time we attend to this material :
Singularity Defined and Refined by Singularity Utopia (2013 Blog)
I don't want to flood others with information, but explore flow with my learned capabilities to handle variety of information in a way that best represents my exploration. Learning is as unique as our own individual DNA. You cannot become me, and I cannot become you- but the abundance we share is this opportunity to explore the way that makes most sense for us to explore. There is network intelligence (not network stupidity) which is to welcome what you can welcome so long as it leads to flow, liberation and freedom of your own mind and being.12/12/2016 #16 David B. Grinberg#15 Many thanks for your thoughtful reply, CityVP Manjit, and thank you for sharing those web links too. I can tell you that my own "limit and scope" is, shall we say, limited in scope. I try to wrap my head around these mega concepts, but usually that just results in a mega headache. Thus, I appreciate your pointing me in the right direction.12/12/2016 #15 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#14 Dear @David B. Grinberg, you are asking here about something unfathomable. There are people who have tried to put a perspective around the movement to what you describe as the brave new world in life and one of those is Kevin Kelly, because Kelly has the abstractive ability to begin to knit together the thinking that is dimensions above where most of us are and emerge from this rarefied atmosphere with something that we can put our minds around, or at least begin to establish what this map of the unknown may potentially look like.
Here is Kevin Kelly talking about the Singularity as it applies to AI
This is no different to knowing we cannot think like Einstein but we can follow his example of imagining following a beam of light. We will only go so far in our own learning journey but it is sufficient enough to awaken our individual lives to the uncertainty and new possibilities emerging ahead.
One of the steps we can take our own awareness is then follow the leads that will make most sense to us because we each know our own limits of understanding and scope of imagination. I cannot say what this limit and scope is for David B. Grinberg - only you know that.
An example of a step I can take in my own learning journey in this particular stream of consciousness is simply to listen to someone like Vernor Vinge - because ideas he originated have been level set for the understanding of the earnest learner with basic curiosity.
Vernor Vinge - Foresight and the Singularity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tngUabHOea012/12/2016 #14 David B. GrinbergThank you, Sara, for such an informative, educational and enlightening read. As someone who considers himself an amateur futurist (rightly or wrongly), I'm concerned that the frenetic pace of technology will soon overwhelm human capacities. Some scientists say that the average laptop computer is currently equivalent to the human brain. Others say artificial intelligence will be smarter than humans by the 2030s. Thus, keeping pace with new and evolving tech -- let alone staying ahead of the curve -- is a substantial challenge which will likely grow more difficult over time.
According to "Moore's law" -- for example -- computing power doubles every two years (some say as little as 18-months). Additionally, many scientists and others predict that AI humanoid robots (or androids) will be capable of passing the so-called "Turing Test" as early as the 2030s as well. That means these AI androids will not only be much smarter than humans, but indistinguishable as well. Some fear they will replace humans altogether, not just jobs. As you know, many large companies are also adopting machine learning, AI and robotics in many aspects of their business operations to replace human employees. Thus, to coin a phrase, we indeed face a brave new world not only in business but in life generally. The subsequent challenges ahead of us are immense and historically game changing. THOUGHTS?11/12/2016 #12 debasish majumderfour hydrogen atoms enable to produce Helium in the sun. and helium consists of 2 electron, two protons and two neutrons. have we ever thought, where is the missing electrons and protons and how it transforms to form helium, where energy how plays the key role? we must not be flummoxed and nature maintains a unique balance, along with matter and anti-matter, the duality, a significant feature, causing immense impact to even our very existence! Great post @Sara Jacobovici! enjoyed read. thank you very much for sharing the post madam.11/12/2016 #10 Mohammed Sultan#6 When companies treat people motivation as strategy they will value people emotion over capital or equity, and will think of the ROE -as Return On Emotion not Equity. Researches on motivation have shown that people feel more satisfied when they get regarded rather than being rewarded,because their emotion has become more important than the salaries they are paid.When companies treat motivation as strategy they will come to a conclusion that; when they trust people they will trust their customers,and the higher the trust level the higher ROE will be.Businesses also are about feelings and when feelings are suppressed we expect the ROE to get lower .You can't imagine how pride people feel when they get regarded ,they will extend their creative domain and stretch their thinking beyond the norms and logic to creativity and imagination.11/12/2016 #8 Max🐝 J. CarterWhen I was a supervisor for United Healthcare I found that simply treating my direct reports as human beings and not functions made all the difference.
I said things like :"Good morning, thanks for making it in today." had big impact on their desire to be there.
Then I made it a priority to ensure my people understood that my performance was direct result of theirs and my best interest was served by serving theirs where creating a sense of feeling valued to inspire and motivate them to perform better.
I simply invested my own caring into caring about the human being and let that show in my actions and words and it created more of a family dynamic and i was much more approachable and found coaching them in performance became easier as they were much more receptive.
I find it really is more efficient in business to simplify and be human about what you do and treat each other as thinking and feeling human beings.
Emotional states are the result of the love we feel we are or are not getting from the environment we are in.
When i started taking a fatherly approach to my job I saw the improved performance and morale and loyalty and desire to perform. I cover this in my leadership writing .
I have covered before in my own writing one emotion that there is only one love and fear and all everything else is states of love and fear or faces of it so to speak. This eliminates the idea of positive and negative emotions and forces one to see a whole being and investigate the history that led to the now and the current emotional state.11/12/2016 #6 Sara Jacobovici#4 @Mohammed Sultan, personally, I am always so encouraged and flattered by your comments. Thank you. Your insights are always appreciated, as well as your writing style. The take away, for me, of this comment has to be, "When the employee motivation is treated as a strategy, people will work in harmony to achieve the balance between their internal actions and their external impact." Thanks again.11/12/2016 #5 Ali AnaniHello @Sara Jacobovici- I am thrilled by your buzz and it deserves a welcoming waggling dance. You have shown in three examples how the initial emotional points may diversify into different patterns by different people and follow trajectories of their own.
The first three feelings were negative as it is well-established that it is easier to stay in one domain of negative emotions than to make a jump to the domain of positive emotions. That frustration developed into disappointment and irritation is in line with what has been experienced. It takes energy to make the jump and this is evident from the emotions branching out patterns in your worked examples.
You have now an emotions fingerprint-equivalent.
One of the pioneering IBM CEOs said that it is managing people and their emotions that counts. Your buzz explains this beautifully.
I am humbled for playing the role of a trigger in prompting you to write such a. thinking buzz on emotional patterns. I thank you for the mention of my name.11/12/2016 #4 Mohammed Sultan@Sara Jacobovici It's really a creative post .You either have the attitude of an expert consultant or had been trained in your childhood on how to fit pieces into a synergistic whole (JIGSAW) and enjoyed the beauty and measured the impact of this process.Fit and balance between both sides the human and the physical..between our personal and professional interests ..between knowledge and feeling are crucial to build an emotional corporate jigsaw.The emotional org culture has become a necessity because it reflects our thoughts and feelings.When the employee motivation is treated as a strategy, people will work in harmony to achieve the balance between their internal actions and their external impact.The shape and the beauty of the future corporate jigsaw will depend to large extent on how well the internal parts,the external impact and our actions can all be kept in balance and lead to strategic moves in the right time.
- 11/12/2016Revolutionary! Just a few notes to entice people...."In flow states, we are using a lot less of our brain - it becomes hypoactive - and it is the prefrontal cortex that is deactivating"
Time is calculated in the prefrontal cortex - and if parts wink out, we can no longer separate past, present, future - we are plunged into something called the deep now.
Sense of self is also resident in prefrontal cortex - if it is turned off your inner critic goes quiet.How to open up the next level of human performance | Steven Kotler | TEDxABQ What does it take to be your best when it matters most? Author of 7 bestselling books, Pulitzer Prize nominee, and Director of Research at the Flow Genome...
Comments11/12/2016 #2 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#1 Well Steven is a journalist just like Malcolm, so neither is proving/disproving just packaging.
K. Anders Ericsson is the psychologist behind the 10,000 hour hypothesis and he worked with Nobel laureate Herbert Simon, who I was lucky enough to take a class from at Carnegie Mellon. So I can 'vet' him to some extent and not just dismiss his work.
The difference as I understand it is 10k represents a developmental approach to sustained practice of skills versus the newer research on flow, which I find so fascinating precisely because the suggestion of turning off the prefrontal cortex which we revere so highly and using the full-body intelligence of our vastly superior unconscious mind.
I can tell we are going to have some interesting discussions, @Zacharias Voulgaris 🐝, because I do agree that the 10,000 hour claims got too much attention from the hyper-competitive crowd, because just like innate 'god-given' talent the life conditions to dedicate 10k hours to one endeavor is a pretty rare occurrence.
- Producer25/11/2016Conscious and Subconscious QuestionsI say the more we know, the more we should ask questions to discover how little we know. Surprisingly, what we know for sure becomes our handicap. We all know for example, that water is an essential ingredient for our health and vitality. We know...
Comments08/01/2017 #158 Lyon BraveI used to ask all the big questions, then i got into this existential depression because my molecules didn't some big enough or infinite enough to compete with the universe. Then i stopped caring about entropy, afterlives, why am i hear, what is my purpose collective purpose, and i just started focusing on me. I'm not designed to be a scientist, knowing about black matter just confuses me and makes me feel minuscule., I'm a more philosophical person. I think they're both people of reason. I would rather focusing on my inner being than the outer world, but i'm so glad other people go explore it.30/11/2016 #156 Joris Plaatstaal#155 I think that is the beauty and the sadness of it all. Crossing the border might be an event not noticed by the traveler.
No matter what border the traveler crosses, at some point the traveler will realize there is no way back.
The traveler crossed the line and lost his past. Is that why so many of us do not travel?
I can understand them, the stayers. Traveling is about finding new and losing old. I can understand it does not appeal to everyone.30/11/2016 #154 Joris Plaatstaal#153 Now you got me thinking.... @Ali Anani.
"Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge."
This is an interaction I truly love. ......Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge...... It is just great, I did not realize that while commenting. You kick my thoughts a step further and at this time I am not sure why.....
Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge. There are so many ways to look at that. I will have to let it sink in.
Thank you!29/11/2016 #152 Joris Plaatstaal#148 I agree @Ali Anani.
"And so there is a danger of always searching." That was indeed a bit of a one-liner. What I tried to say.... And that is where the complexity cuts in....
There are people who are sure they know. There are people who are sure they don't know, and they search further.
At what point in life and knowledge are we happy with who we are? Free?
Am I to early reaching that point? I made up my mind. I am sixteen years old and I know it all. What I know is the rigid setting for the rest of my life.
Will I never reach that point? I can't make up my mind. I am 120 years old and I am not sure. I must learn more.
Those are two extremities, I know. They fell in my mind, reading your conversation with Max. Those extremities do not represent you or Max. My knowledge of the both of you is too superficial.
Ah well. What did Come to my mind? The extremities.
"Know" to soon and freedom is lost. Never know and freedom is an illusion. Where do I step in? At what point in my life I feel secure, without developing my own tunnel vision? It feels like a Gaussian curve with a standard deviation of close to nothing.
Does this explain my one-liner more?
P.S. I am only here to exchange thoughts, not to prove my right. Thank you for your open, respectful comment.28/11/2016 #148 Ali Anani#147 @Joris Plaatstaal- There is a concept of "DEgrees of Freedom in statistics. I realize I lost one degree from your comment "But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.28/11/2016 #147 Joris PlaatstaalJoris Plaatstaal
11 min #146
Nov 28, 2016 12:41:55 AM
#141 It comes with being on social media @Ali Anani. No different to life. Everywhere, anytime we follow leaders who know......
In the end you can only follow yourself. I think you do just that. Your questioning, an admirable gift.
But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.
Life is so lovely complicated! It is all I expected. A blind walking forwards. Infinite.
Freedom is universal. But we seem to not live in the same universe.... Another complication, yes!27/11/2016 #144 Max🐝 J. Carter#142 It's not negative and you are being abusive in saying so.
It;'s the truth and it hurt your feelings because the truth hurts when one is living in delusion. Again this is behavioral psychology applied. I am not being negative I am being honest.
Using the term negative is a mechanism for retaining ones delusional state so one can dismiss that they heard truth.
Using the term negative is done to infer there is something wrong with someone so you ignore them and what they have presented.
If I applied the positive negative metaphor I have been more positive than most as honesty is a positive quality and delusion one that has negative impacts on the self and that damage gets spread in the name of justifying holding onto the delusion causing one to see the truth as a negative thing because it destroys their delusion.
It is psychologically unhealthy to use such subjective terms as positive and negative as they allow for mechanism to abuse other people to become rationalized and justified through use of the terms.27/11/2016 #142 Mohammed Sultan#140 Wisdom goes beyond understanding to interpretation of facts,it makes one's light more brighter than another and will help us see others pitfalls.We are always required to find a synergy between our personal and professional objectives.Our knowledge base and skills often go beyond the recipes of classical behavior psychology books to coaching and mentoring , visioning and inspiring people .We always think of more creative ways to develop the students skills to stretch their thinking beyond the norms of classic books.Our thoughts are always a reflection of our feeling and when we view others as "wrong"we trigger our negative emotions and may regress into a negative mood.27/11/2016 #141 Ali AnaniI read by a quote years back stating that "I have to be 300% I am correct before I dare say somebody is wrong".
Some comments are sidelining these discussions by making sweeping comments and turning the discussions from win- win to I win-you lose. It is sad it is truly wasting our times. Just stating somebody is flatly wrong without solid proofs and with many not seeing eye-to-eye with him is unacceptable. I hope discussions here shall only focus on the theme of the buzz and not sideline it to show off what we know. If needed and the commenter has such opposing ideas I suggest he writes a separate buzz.27/11/2016 #140 Max🐝 J. Carter#137 Wisdom is understanding how much of the knowledge is superfluous and strips away at structures to find understanding.
You are totally wrong as knowledge about people is absolutely scientific depending how you acquire it.
Experience reveals truth.
Any scientific experiment is designed to find the truth or determine what the facts are and what is the actual.
To deny there any absolutes is delusional thinking at it's best stemming from a fear of being wrong. This is behavioral psychology applied through scientific method over the course of many hundreds of years in society and is an inarguable absolute truth and fact of the human condition.
The only reason to attempt to deny this is keep ones delusions in place so one never has to take stand and risk being wrong which means they choose willful ignorance and never really grow and keep themselves in a state of emotional maturity that is could be described as adolescent or juvenile.
This isn't my idea or creative thinking, this is applied behavioral psychology.
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- 10/11/2016Ad agencies are rushing out artificial intelligence services - Digidaydigiday.com MDC Media Partners, Huge, Team One, Isobar and GroupM are approaching AI on their own...
- Producer08/11/2016Narcissism and Non-IdentityI recently had to have a very frank discussion with my kids about what it means to be the child of a narcissist (their father). As they get older, I feel more able to have these types of conversations with them because they are my emotional...
Comments09/11/2016 #16 Nikki Petersen#6 Right, Renee. The not knowing is when you're blaming yourself. Finding your way out of that can be tough when you're a kid because you don't have the emotional maturity to see the world for what it is (which, some would argue, is a good thing). I'm so glad you are healing.09/11/2016 #15 Nikki Petersen#9 That's exactly it. I'm trying, but honestly, the grip of a narcissistic parent is so pervasive that it's a really tough uphill battle. It's horrible to hear my wonderful baby say that he's worthless and would be better off dead. I've been hearing that since he was 5 or 6. As an empath, I also experienced this existential depression related to my lack of identity. It took decades for me to get it, with therapy. I hope that I will be able to help him enough that he can also find his way out.08/11/2016 #12 Katja BaderThank you for this great buzz, Nikki. You write so many words, that I felt when I was with my (now Ex-) husband, who is a narcissist and our children.
A narcissist always sees parts of himself in his children and wants to create them to a copy of himself. He tries to implant his meanings, ideas, dreams etc in his children. That could have bad results for the children and can take years to heal it. I always want to find out the real and own personality of the children and promote them as much as I can.08/11/2016 #9 Paul Frank GilbertFlawed and imperfect as we are ... there is something particularly sad and seemingly humanly wrong about a parent that would divide their children into such classifications as to have them sense for one moment a feeling of less. Less love. Less acceptance. Less understanding. Less trust. Less expectation ... hope ... ability ... on and on.
The world is a tough place. Life is not fair. But we all want our kids to know with certainty that they have a place where they are accepted for themselves, where a mistake or a weakness does not define them and label them. We want to for them to see a place for themselves in the world and to be strong enough to fight for it if necessary.
Sounds like you are a great parent.08/11/2016 #6 Renée 🐝 CormierAs the daughter of a narcissist and the sibling of at least one, I can tell you it took me some time to figure out what was wrong with our family. I found my way to heal over the years but the healing really came once I realized what I was dealing with. It's the not knowing period that is the most damaging because you are constantly being manipulated and you can't see or understand what is going on. The upside of my early life is that it has enabled me to become very good at managing people and their emotions. As long as your children understand the divisive and manipulative tactics that narcissists rely on and when they are being played, they will be able to avoid the trap of seeking approval, being afraid or being resentful of other family members.08/11/2016 #5 Deb 🐝 HelfrichA very warm welcome to beBee, @Nikki Petersen. This is a great lesson on a number of topics. Primarily that we get the kids we create, and that will shape the rest of their lives. Further, this point about understanding oneself as a business person is crucial:
"If you're thinking about going into business for yourself (or you're already there), please get to know yourself and what your challenges are. Without that introspection and self-correction, you aren't likely to make it far."
- 08/11/2016I feel this article was a real highlight. Can I nominate two for the @Kevin Pashuk challenge?
My second vote:
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@phillip-hubbell/nothing-is-true-everything-is-permissibleNothing is True, Everything is Permissiblewww.bebee.com “Everything you know is wrong.” The Firesign Theater If you stop, step back and view the world today from a completely nonpartisan unbiased...
- 06/11/2016Insight Into the ‘Seat of Human Consciousness’stfi.re Summary: Researchers believe they may have pinpointed an area of the brain that plays a role in maintaining human consciousness.Source: Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.Study reveals a...
- 04/11/2016Random Image Experiment Reveals The Building Blocks of Human Imaginationstfi.re Scientists have discovered how to extract the template images that the human mind uses to recognise objects, such as balls, cars and people. Here’s a curious experiment. Take some white noise and use it to produce a set of images that are...
- 03/11/2016The Wiring of Fly Brains: Mapping Cell-to-Cell Connectionsneurosciencenews.com Summary: Researchers have developed a new system for visualizing connections between individual cells in fly brains.Source: CalTech.Biologists at Caltech have developed a new system for...
- 03/11/2016Article from a woman leader who worked for the FBIForbes Welcomewww.forbes.com Emotional intelligence is your ability to 1) identify and manage your own emotions; 2) pick up on the emotions of others and manage them; and 3) in so doing, build trust and grow influence. Meanwhile, a softer skill like emotional intelligence often...