- Producer07/03/2017The Emotional Intelligence GapThe evidence is overwhelming that emotional intelligence training removes the chaos and drama so often found within organizations. If you look around I am certain you can see lots of examples of the hidden and not so hidden costs created by the...
Comments08/03/2017 #4 Claire L 🐝 Cardwell"Increasingly, individuals who were hired for their intellectual knowledge are being passed over for promotion because they lack the emotional intelligence necessary to succeed. Emotional intelligence is developed from doing the emotional labor of putting what we know into practice." Really enjoyed your article @Phil Johnson, MBL!07/03/2017 #3 Brian McKenzieIs there a Gold Star that I could affix to my belly in Sneech fashion to let others know - I have all the Emotional Intelligence I need ? I would love to see the source citations for those statistics. EVERY EQ test that I have taken - could be, and has been gamed. If I know what you are looking for - pandering to it - is easy. (Invariably it is the Unicorn / Rainbow / Butterfly / Heart Emoji play-land that I like to avoid)
- 12/03/2017The Science of The Heart: Our Hearts Actually Have It’s Own Intelligencethespiritscience.net We all know the difference between good vibes and bad vibes, but what is really happening at a scientific level when we talk about “vibes”? Or what about when we know someone is a bad person and can feel it in our gut, only to later find out that...
- Producer12/03/2017Emotional Labor and Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence: Your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. Your ability to use awareness of your emotions to positively direct your behavior. Your ability to pick up on emotions in others and...
- 11/03/2017You've Just Failed – Congratulations! You Get A Trip For Two Around the World.www.linkedin.com Perpetually curious. These two words define Garry Ridge, CEO, WD-40 Company, and my guest on the Disrupt Yourself Podcast. A native of...
- Finding the Time to Do It Allwww.chrisspurvey.com I’m constantly asked “Chris, how do you manage to get so much done?” That question is typically followed by the statement “You must use some form of time management...
- Producer25/11/2016HOW TO CHOOSE HAPPINESS WHEN LIFE IS S**T!When life gets hard, the last thing you want to hear is that “happiness is a choice.”I get it. It’s as if you’ve been slapped in the face and then kicked while you’re still reeling.I know that when you hear “happiness is a choice”, you think I am...
Comments08/03/2017 #25 Katyan Roach"People who are afraid of choosing happiness aren’t afraid of or resistant to being happy. They are afraid of the risk that comes with being happy. Happiness is vulnerable. Once we have it, we have something we can lose, something that can be taken away from us"
Have you been spying on my girl! LOL Awesome article. One to save for my archives! @Emilia M. Ludovino08/03/2017 #21 Claire L 🐝 CardwellExcellent @Emilia M. Ludovino - really good points - I particularly liked the analogy you used about bending your knee after a Knee operation "The first thing the doctors have them to do after surgery is bend the knee. They have to move. It hurts like f-ing hell and no one wants to do it but they have to. Otherwise the knee becomes frozen. The range of motion will become lost and the knee will become incapable of bending." Am sharing !08/02/2017 #17 Emilia M. Ludovino#16 Oi @Henri Galvão. Obrigada por me lembrar deste artigo :). Escrevo e publico tanta coisa que jé nem me lembrava deste. Que bom que gostou. Tenho um outro artigo sobre o poder da vulnerabilidade, vou deixar o link no caso de voçê ficar interessado em lêr. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@emilia-ludovino/does-vulnerability-equates-to-happiness. Jogar para não perder é o mindset dos jogadores de Ping-Pong. Sempre altamente focados, tensos, sem uma expressão de alegria no rosto. Que graça tem jogar para não perder. ë como morrer sem ter vivido. Jogar para ganhar incluí tudo - as vitórias, as derrotas, a alegria o choro, etc. - é o aprendizado, é a vida. Nossa que bom poder escrever em portugês :)))). Beijinhos25/11/2016 #9 Alexandra GalvizWhat a great post! Loved the part on respect the pain. I think that sometimes you need to sit with it for a bit in order to be comfortable to walk through it and really get it off our chest. If not we risk, as you say going into denial or just brushing it off. Thanks for your insights!
- Producer08/03/2017Sales Leadership and Emotional IntelligenceIf the sales professional cares about the people they serve it will ultimately be reflected in the revenue being generated. The willingness to stare into the abyss of failure is the true measure of how compelled a person or an organization is to...
- Ten Unmistakable Signs Of A Fear-Based Workplace by Liz Ryan.
I did not know what a fear-based workplace was the first time I started working in one. At first, I thought the problem was me.
Maybe I didn't have the right clothes or know the right business jargon. I walked on eggshells at work. I went home anxious and discouraged every night.
Gradually it dawned on me that it wasn't just me. My co-workers were uptight, too. No one was having a good time in our workplace. What made everyone so nervous and fearful?
It can take time to realize that you work in a fear-based environment. We can't bear to think that we took a new job in a broken company!
A fear-based workplace is a place where fear is the predominant energy. A healthy workplace is one where trust is the predominant energy.
- 10 Research-Proven Tricks That Make You Seem Smarter Than You Arewww.linkedin.com It’s great to be smart, but intelligence is a hard thing to pin down. In many cases, how smart people think you are is just as important as how...
Comments08/03/2017 #10 Claire L 🐝 CardwellWhen I was young I used to do the Mensa Tests in the Sunday Magazines in the UK. You were given an hour to do them. I used to do them in 10 minutes flat and made one deliberate mistake. When I told Nigel about his he laughed and said that it was his strategy too for doing IQ Tests. I never bothered to join Mensa though. I thought it would be rather boring to hang out with people who would spend their time bragging about how smart they were..... After all it must be the stunted who need to boast.08/03/2017 #9 Claire L 🐝 CardwellA couple of good friends of mine were also diagnosed as being educationally subnormal and were sent to a 'special school'. One of them is now a Distinguished Engineer at JP Morgan and the other is a carpenter and life coach. Both have been assessed as having IQs over 200.08/03/2017 #8 Max🐝 J. Carter#7 A lot of people like us have been abused by people who are ignorant.
I nearly flunked out of high school and wen to a continuation high school where I gradded 6 months early before going in the Air Force and rewriting tech manual that got me a medal. Also had equipment doing stuff the designers said was impossible.
I can relate, different experiences similar kind of life in some ways.08/03/2017 #7 Claire L 🐝 Cardwell#6 Thanks @Max🐝 J. Carter! I remember when I was about 16 my headmistress called my parents in for a meeting with me. She argued with them for quite a while about my low intelligence and the fact that I would not be a good candidate for university. She even suggested that I left school and enrolled in a secretarial college.... Fortunately two science degrees later I proved her wrong. Her silence on hearing the news was quite telling.... Miss Dees couldn't even be bothered to say a limp 'well done'. My parents immediately enrolled me in one of the UK's top schools and I did very well there.
I wonder how many girls had their dreams crushed by this narrow minded alcoholic?08/03/2017 #6 Max🐝 J. Carter#5 It's rude, disrespectful, unprofessional and the only reason anyone knows who he is is because Linkedin deemed him an influencer.
In school I did horrible because I was trying to rewrite the textbooks and flunked instead of recognized for the genius I am.
Now I take a lot of shit from people who choose to think I am arrogant rather than believe I am smarter than them.
When I was 7 I was going to a private christian school and the test rated you in grades for each area. My low scores at 7 were college level and my comprehension scores were off the charts and I got a perfect score showing there is nothing I don't understand perfectly.
I too have dyslexia with both numbers and words. It's why I never read anything with large paragraphs if I can help it.
I would be willing to bet your ability to understand the emotional states of others and why they act they way they do is sharper than you allow yourself to think.
The best way to test it is in one on one reading the person your talking to. This is also the best way to strengthen it and increase you intuitive abilities that we all possess to a certain degree.
I get the feeling you are capable of more than you let yourself embrace. @Claire L 🐝 Cardwell08/03/2017 #5 Claire L 🐝 CardwellI can relate to that @Max🐝 J. Carter! I actually got a very low score on the IQ tests I sat as a very young child as they are maths based and I am numerate dyslexic. It was only when I was helping a friend out at Kings College in London with a new IQ Test did I realise just how high my IQ was - I aced all the tests up to 180 - then Philip wanted me to do more and more (he was getting rather excited!). It was a rare sunny summer's day in London and I said no. He persuaded me to do one more... Like you my IQ is over 200. My brother in law frequently described conversations between myself and my sweet ex-husband Nigel as being in the 180 Club! I have never measured my emotional intelligence - perhaps I fear it would be a bit low.... I've noticed that Dr Travis does not respond to his comments either.... A rather aloof approach to someone that champions Emotional Intelligence don't you think?08/03/2017 #4 Max🐝 J. Carter#3 Well as an Empath I am emotional intelligence in living and breathing and my IQ is over 200.
And I channel Source wisdom.
Basically everything I do being who I am allows me to see it crystal clear.
Most of his work is based on guess work and outdated theories that do not take the big picture into account.
He preys on the ignorance of others and never answers or replies to anyone.
I tried to get a response from him for over two years.
- Producer26/02/2017Do You Have Enterprise Emotion Skills?Over the years, I have had the privilege of working with start- up, small and medium businesses. The range and diversity of business and ownership, has given me an insight into the many conflicting issues facing small business owners today. As...
- Producer23/02/2017Time to Change Your Culture? Don't Forget These Emotional Intelligence Must-HavesYou have a new strategy and your mission is clear, then why aren't your employees excited? Although it took a lot of work to revamp your vision, the truth is, that's only the beginning. Your organization must now prepare to manage the cultural...
- Producer11/02/2017Want to Fix Your Biggest Leadership Problem? Try These 5 Emotional Intelligence TipsThis condition has many names: leadership blinders, delusion, and narcissism, just to name a few. Although each ailment can lead to unique consequences, they are all rooted in the same cognitive bias known as "The Halo Effect." The Halo Effect is a...
- 10/02/2017Ever "lost your cool"? Perhaps here on social media? Or in a heated argument with a loved one?
Learn WHY and how to bring back CONTROL in a matter of minutes with mindfulness...Melissa Hughes on Twittertwitter.com “Be aware of the amygdala hijack. Keep the thinking #brain in charge....
- Producer26/01/2017EMOTIONAL EMPOWERMENT - Are you emotionally empowered?"We can not force anyone to see what they are not ready for." Often I have heard people remark: "He is very intelligent. Just needs to find his balance.” – “Your father was a genius but he lacked wisdom.” - “He was too intelligent for his own...
Comments02/03/2017 #9 Emilia M. LudovinoThank you @Renata Jakielaszek for taking your time to read my work and leave me your feedback. Glad you found it helpful. Never Stop Learning Yourself - it's a good motto, after all, we never stop change, evolve - whether we're aware of that our not. Have a blessed day!01/03/2017 #8 Renata JakielaszekThank you so much, indeed. Emilia M. Ludovino ! I have always believed that the hardest thing to do in this life is to get to know yourself.
It’s more about the things that you feel deeply. What drives you. What you crusade for. What you really want your life to be like…Stuff like that.
Never Stop Learning Yourself27/01/2017 #7 Bernard PoulinThe only emotional empowerment required to survive a day of productivity is to be determined to do the best we can today (i.e. : seeking excellence rather than perfection) with the proviso that tomorrow is another day in which we can try to best our yesterdays. Any more requirement than that needs a therapist.
- Producer21/01/2017EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT - Is your balance Positive or Negative?Imagine that you have dropped and broken your mobile phone, and find it’s going to cost you $200 to repair it.Your reaction to this incident is influenced by the amount of discretionary money you have in your bank balance.If you have a lot of money...
Comments23/01/2017 #11 Brian McKenzieI un-banked when I left the States, I haven't had a telephone in 3 years, if I were to say I have any Emotional Account - it would have been unplugged too. Emotions, and pandering to them, are quite avoidable. We live in a six second world where 'Reality' is faked, scripted, produced ~ where you are an easily replaceable line item on a corporate spread sheet ~ where 'love' is transactional, temporary and disposable ~ where war is not only inevitable but routinely scheduled. Society is merely a herd of widgets - managed through the life-cycle wickets of eat, sleep, work & reproduce well teased with money and goaded with fear before you are shuffled of to the meat packing slaughter house.
I try to keep my Apathy in check with doses of Indifference and Detached Ambivalence - I am rewarded daily for those efforts.22/01/2017 #10 Emilia M. Ludovino#9 Thank you, @David B. Grinberg for your kind words and best wishes. I'm a positive thinker by birth and an optimistic by nature - be optimistic and positive thinker runs in the family. Great reading recommendations. It's a pleasure to have you reading my articles. Have a blessed day and week ahead!21/01/2017 #9 David B. GrinbergAs someone who prides himself on positive thinking -- despite naysayers -- I completely concur with your astute advice, Emilia. It's just as easy to think positively than negatively and view the proverbial cup as half full, rather than half empty. I wish you all the best and hope your cup overflows with positive life experiences.
Lastly, for those who have a negative mindset as knee-jerk reaction, here's some recommended reading by the godfather of positive thinking, the late and great Rev. Norman Vincent Peale https://www.amazon.com/Norman-Vincent-Peale/e/B000APPE7E Keep buzzing in 2017!21/01/2017 #7 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#4 thank you @Emilia M. Ludovino! You are most welcome.21/01/2017 #1 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.everyone should read this one, it is so good to know!
- Producer19/01/2017What are you laughing at?Why do we laugh? Do all cultures and creatures laugh? Is laughter really the best medicine?What happens when we tickle rats?If you are bursting at the seams to find out the answers to these soul searching, contemplative, ridiculous, yet strangely...
Comments21/01/2017 #23 Rod LoaderTo @Ken Boddie...
Thoughtful prose, to the rose,
That is my lovely wife.
About your fear, to draw near,
To trouble and to strife.
Now your pain, won't be gain,
If done by your own hand.
No she won't laugh, unless your gaff,
Is totally unplanned.
Live your life, without strife,
Or harm to hand or hair.
But let us know, if your toe,
Should find a lurking chair.
#2220/01/2017 #22 Ken Boddie#18 To @Rod Loader and his good lady wife .....
When a challenge brings a hazard,
Then the risk must be assessed.
Are the consequences good or bad?
This really is no time for jest.
A self harm act will cause me pain,
Of that there can be no real doubt,
So surely then I must refrain,
And hope no lady's tears will spout.20/01/2017 #16 Dean OwenI hear that women find an especially active tomatosensory cortex an especially endearing trait in a man. Did you know that people actually die from laughter. I found this particular story quite touching. "On 24 March 1975, Alex Mitchell, from King's Lynn, England, died laughing while watching the "Kung Fu Kapers" episode of The Goodies, featuring a kilt-clad Scotsman with his bagpipes battling a master of the Lancastrian martial art "Eckythump", who was armed with a black pudding." (Wikipedia) -
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-1854237720/01/2017 #10 Ken Boddie#6 Thanks for your thoughts, Gert, and of course the joke, which fits into the 'Mismatch of Expectation and Reality' category. This also brings up the concept of miscommunication by accident when we can only really laugh when we are in a remote situation or really know a person well, rather than in a face to face situation, particularly with strangers. I remember the tale of the unfortunate overseas student who arrived in UK and got himself into a number of awkward situations by frequently asking for "hairy twot". After a number of episodes (embarrassing to him but hilarious to others) it transpired he was looking for directions to Herriot Watt University.19/01/2017 #7 Kevin PashukI was waiting for the punch line Ken...
Seriously though, some great questions. Why do we laugh? Why did it evolve so that only one type of shrieking laughter is present in a restaurant when you and your partner are trying to have a semi-romantic evening?
In a recent post I wrote on people's use of titles (vs. experience), I made mention of someone calling themselves "Chief Giggles Officer". I wrote that in a mocking tone. I stand corrected. Any of the people on the panel of the television show you referenced likely qualify for that title.19/01/2017 #6 Gert 🐝 Scholtz@Ken Boddie An intriguing post Ken. I think we laugh for a few reasons. As a means of social bonding; where group cohesion was fostered long ago by touch, as groups increased in size verbal grooming and bonding replaced it – language, laughter and song. The other reason is that laughter is a response to unexpected juxtapositions or ideas – we have a certain train of thought or a fixed perspective and laughter is the response to having it changed and altered in an unforeseen way. Mostly we laugh because it feels good – the chemicals released in the body because of it, makes it a self-seeking act. The other side of the question is interesting too: why do we (try to) induce laughter in others? A long list it could be.
According to a poll by Prof Richard Wiseman of the UK, here is the joke voted funniest: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
- Producer09/01/2017What emotional intelligence means to me (revised)I keep seeing this reference to “emotional intelligence” on social media. I can’t read the whole article lots of times because it’s boring to me, and I don’t really understand what they’re talking about. The first time I saw it was around 2005. I...
Comments09/01/2017 #5 Edythe RichardsHello all,
Thank you for posting your thoughts on EI (or EQ, as I call it). I am new here to this platform, so please go easy on me!
I am a certified Emotional Intelligence practitioner. After a great deal of research into this subject myself, I sought out to become certified in the most statistically reliable model of EQ (and there are more than a few out there): the EQ-i 2.0, which also includes a valid self-report, when administered correctly.
Based on what you’ve described, this (to me) doesn’t sound like Emotional Intelligence at all (particularly the sharing of “secrets”), which is quite unfortunate. When it is presented correctly, by someone who understand what it does (and does not) measure, it is not only empowering, but actionable. Results are malleable, and b/c coaching is part of this process, one’s EQ “score” not only does, but should change when goals are set and action is taken.
For more information about what EQ is and isn’t, I have a short article on my blog: http://atopcareer.com/eq-ei-emotional-intelligence-overview/, and I’ll be posting more on this topic once I become familiar with this medium.09/01/2017 #3 Devesh Bhatt#2 I think the inner anchor is the ideal.anchor, it just needs the right trigger. It makes our filters working fine, most people link their inner anchor to a memory and courage, I like to link it with patience.
Why I am.interested in EI is because of 3 things :
A) someone I least expected who belonged to this field helped me, I got curious and the more I studied it the more shameless greedy people emerged who were the cut from the exact same cloth as phoney preachers.
B) it has less to do with coaching and more with the habituation of sled contempt for the serious.cases and spoon feeding for many who don't have time to sort themselves out.
C) Now I want to get work from clients and I find all this coaching etc when they themselves have diminishing revenue very unacceptable, spend 10 % of that on me or 50% of that on yourself , Get on your feet and start earning...Isn't spend when the wallets empty. Makes you more vulnerable.also I was their I could be their again.
This is an assumption, I believe childhood learning coupled with one good teacher moulds the inner anchor, the teacher could be family/freind/teacher/anyone.cant their be a way of making it consistent09/01/2017 #1 Devesh BhattFirst we perceive the world as a harmful environment and seek refuge in coaching, therapy, emotional intelligence etc.
Then we areade aware of the exploitation and remove ourselves from that environment.
What is the probability of a person bouncing in and out of places ?
Also, couldn't a person develop and anchor/ refuge for self irrespective of the environment around and use that anchor to bounce back into a sensible emotional aware being? Stuff I ask myself and share here.
- Producer11/01/2017Did the executive coaching industry fail?The dose makes the poison Currently, terms like authenticity, emotional intelligence, mindfulness are trending. We want to optimize the way we communicate, we want to be mindful, we want to grow and become more efficient and productive. Companies...
Comments15/01/2017 #34 Mohammed Sultan#33 The concept has been developed specially for top management who are going to qualify for leadership positions and have no time to deal with everyday routine affairs.The intervention is done to widen the time window of the trainees based on a vision building exercise and how could they relate the current vision with the rapidly changing conditions in the marketplace.13/01/2017 #31 Mohammed Sultan#28 In "time leadership" we help the leader investigates h/his relation with "time and decisions" in a different way based on h/his "core interests" not his "core skills".The time horizon of time leadership will be stretched more beyond the traditional leadership tasks of operational visioning to the philosophical part of their org vision which includes its identity and purpose.Time leadership will lead to the emergence of a new set of an organizational "core competences" based on the common interests of its people and rooted in the success moments in which they have done things differently.Time leadership,at the end ,will help create an org "common intuition" and expand the cognitive span of its executives beyond the norm and the logic of the traditional leadership tasks.13/01/2017 #30 Phil Friedman#29 Aurorasa, not saying that training is completely irrelevant. However, it is well known that practitioners who are successful with one approach in a coaching or clinical counseling field are very often successful using other approaches as well. While some are not successful using the same approaches, no matter what. Leading to the conclusion that the contribution made by the practitioner him- or herself is often the key to success. When it comes to dealing with human needs and frailty, you can't just read a book or take a course, and, wham bang, become good at helping people. In your case, for example, I personally perceive a level of empathy and sympathy that cannot be taught but must be nurtured and developed.12/01/2017 #22 Mohammed Sultan@Aurora Sima. The problem with leadership coaching is that many executives are trained on "core skills" not "core interests".Every executive based on his or her core skills wants to be a leader,but the question is ;are they really have deep interests in creative thinking and the instinct of taking risks rather than the ambition and the prestige of being leaders by the title?Nowadays, leadership training should go beyond "time management" to "time leadership" Executives are in a more need to be trained on how they conceive their leadership role for the future and in different boundaries.The more the coach can expand the cognitive power of the trainee ,the more the individual will be able to stretch his or her thinking beyond the norm, and the more the trainee will be able to pay attention to what's left unsaid or what else question? "Time leadership" training will surface the moments when the trainee has made something different.The more you analyze them you will find the themes or the threads that run through them, and the more you can help him/her to shape their core interests.Thank you for your insightful article.12/01/2017 #21 Robert Bacal#20 Within each of the professional areas you highlight, there exists models and schools of thoughts that are student centred, client centred, and NOT practitioner centred. Of course, you'd have to have more than a passing knowledge about these disciplines to know that.12/01/2017 #20 Phil Friedman#19 Pascal and Aurorasa, what People have to realize is that coaching -- like teaching, clinical psychology, and counseling -- is practitioner-centric. Methods, schools of thought, techniques all matter less than WHO THE PERSON IS who is doing it. Effective coaches grow organically, not made. And paying to take and complete a course doesn't turn someone into a coach. Of course, neither does standing on a rock and proclaiming oneself the leader of the next evolutionary level of mankind. Caveat emptor. Cheers!12/01/2017 #19 Pascal Derrientoo many coaches are kill the coaching industry, in Ireland there is an abnormal ratio of coaches, consultants per square meter it is actually frightening. The excellent ones get shafted by the mediocre ones who offer great prices.....and average service delivery, they all worship gurus like Tony Robbins to a point of obsession.
It is an industry that need to reset itself but is not homogeneous so maybe it is only a phase.... but I am tired and sometimes cynical when I hear the same things form interchangeable consultant. So to your quesiton, has it failed probably not but the edge is not too far either:-)12/01/2017 #18 Devesh BhattOne shoe doesn't fit all. It's not an excuse to deny core issues.
It is derived from bad policies, bad processes, bad communication or bad people.
I don't think it's a failure, it overperformed and is now normalising to the genuine people when people have become aware .
They may not know your field but they certainly know how to evaluate coaches better.
Funny thing in India, Hiring Executive coaches can save companies' tax but hiring an operations/business consultant gets both of us taxed. Clients want to hire an executive coach who teaches their manager operations in the guise of leadership. I don't pick up such assignments because the label would be very restrictive unless they mention my scope in the contract.12/01/2017 #17 Don 🐝 Kerr@Aurorasa Sima It's great to see you active. Now, I don't know if it's IQ, EQ or FQ (careful pronouncing that last one) but I entered the professional working world in 1977. In the ensuing 40 years technology has made the great leap forward. From what I can see, human resource management (a misnomer if ever there was one) hasn't changed one goddamn bit except for the adoption of new jargon, lingo and buzz. For all of the corporate world's claims to care for the well being of their most valuable asset they continue to give short shrift to supporting the real humans who work for them. Wall Street, Bay Street, or The City - they demand quarterly results and if those are put in jeopardy by the collateral damage of human kind - too bad. Perhaps there are some shining examples that disprove this - Google, Aetna, Apple, Manulife? Not sure. That would be an interesting track to follow and maybe I shall for another day. In the meantime, thanks again for provoking thought in a meaningful way!11/01/2017 #9 Ian WeinbergPowerful stuff @Aurorasa Sima and so very relevant to the here and now. When it comes to EQ function, one wonders how receptive the human organism is for real change, especially in the corporate context - it hardly brings out the best in anyone. Perhaps we first need to promote and attain a culture of gratitude and respect and all the ethics and values that flow from there, before embarking on formal coaching?11/01/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher@Aurorasa Sima, perfect! I've always believed a high EQ plays a large role in how we handle situations, people and many aspects you listed above. I wish some form of empathy of was taught from childhood on up in schools. Kids leave home and may be wonderful but they are thrust into a new world outside of the comforts of their home and have to 'fend' for themselves without the maturation of thinking outside of the box or being able to understand the world around them. Many of those children become jaded adults who may be high functioning intellectually but don't know how to interact well with others and/or lack concern that is necessary because it's a part of life that never leaves us, no matter where we are. It doesn't mean coddling others but it's good to have a very nice balance.
- Producer03/01/2017How to Use Your Whole Brain to Generate IdeasIt's arguably the most popular theory of all time.The split brain theory states that the left hemisphere of your brain brain is logical, analytical and boring. It associates with vocal intelligence and gets you through life acceptably. Left...
Comments03/01/2017 #3 Harvey LloydThis is an excellent concept and rings very true as you stated with your question, "What Stifles Creativity? " This is a question i try and answer everyday in my profession. When faced with leadership issues you not only have the creative steps of going forward but you have others in the organization that require you to bring them along. The overall answer to the question is fear.
A broad answer but as @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher stated, "I thought it was a crazy idea...",overcoming our own limitations is the first key to becoming creative. Mind mapping i can only assume must be done within a vacuum of no fear. When you develop links across hemispheres their can't be channeling based on fears already established, they must flow freely.
Thanks for the post03/01/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI like the idea of drawing a visual mind map @Amarish J. Khan 🐝. When I have time I will have to give it a try. It's true that we utilize both sides of our brain. It even works in cases of medical issues. I have a damaged nerve inside my inner ear which is closely connected to the Cerebellum. I was taught to do brain exercises to allow another part of my brain to compensate for the vertigo. I thought it was a crazy idea at first but it worked. It didn't get rid of it but I gained my balance back and most of my vertigo is under control now. They've even removed one side of the brain in children who had chronic, uncontrolled seizures and found the kids were able to function just as highly with one half of their brain & the seizures diminished greatly or disappeared.
- 14/12/2016Just left a review of this fabulous book by a great bee, @Deb Lange and mentioned the fact that we met on beBee!!!
Here is the most interesting fact about Deb Lange's book. It is helping me so much, that I want to spend all my available time playing, and walking, and sensing the world around me – I keep popping away from my keyboard when I sit down to write a review.
I recently had the good fortune to meet Deb on a new social media site – beBee. We live in such a magical time. You can synchronistically bump into an author on the other side of the world, a few months before her book is published, strike up a few conversations, and then when the book is available – it is the exact guide that you need to help you help yourself through a period of immense transition.
This is truly a MUST EXPERIENCE book as read is too one-dimensional to describe the full impact of learning about embodied wisdom. Deb Lange is a marvelous guide through the rites of passage that will allow us to operate with a full body intelligence.
I really recommend that anyone looking to understand their sensory-based body wisdom get a copy of this book - the words and illustrations partner to create a sense of feeling what one is reading.
- 13/12/2016"Working with Gary has given me the opportunity to become aware of how my emotions affect his physical state – and while it can be truly difficult to confront my culpability in the moment – overall this clarity is a gift. Because until I could see the damage of raging emotions physically, I was not doing the best job of maintaining my own awareness. Because there was very little cost to my physical stamina."
~ @Deb 🐝 HelfrichWhat Emotions Have To Do With Itwww.outthinkingparkinsons.com For those of us lucky enough to share our lives with someone with Parkinson's we can use this as an opportunity for both of us to learn something about self-awareness and the hope that can arise from noticing and implementing simple...
Comments14/12/2016 #2 Deb🐝 Lange#1 great sharing about learning from and with someone with parkinsons . I have learnt much from working with someone with chronic fatigue - how energy can shift in a moment, how not being authentic is draining to both people, how being authentic is life-giving and much more13/12/2016 #1 Deb 🐝 HelfrichThis is a post I wrote back in March that talks about looking at our emotions through the lens of how they affect the physical symptoms of Parkinson's.
The physical toll of 'Raging' emotions might not be so obvious to most of us, but our bodies are unquestionably taking a hit.
- Producer11/12/2016Getting to see the big picture in business.Image credit: Temperate Climate Permaculture This post will introduce the reader to the visual, experiential Branching Out Patterns* tool, used to identify and assess business teams’ problems. Introduction: Tools represent...
Comments12/12/2016 #23 Harvey Lloyd#22 I agree with your sentiments here. I realize though that the language of wisdom must transcend the ideological to the present of human existence. Social media is not bad but it has offered new directions that i don't sense will allow us to evolve as a species.
I share your insights with the group here that has been diligently discussing the tenuous situation of emotions and their outcomes. Like social media, emotions are not bad or good until we discern their value within the human dynamic. Although we can empathise with an individual and their needs, the results of their emotions as felt by mankind is another story. We can't merge the two.
This sounds like a harsh statement, and it is. My emotions and how they direct me should have two components, others and then myself, and in that order. Should i choose myself first, then i should be prepared for the consequences of my actions. I am ok with those who place themselves first within their emotional sphere but, bare in mind that i am referring to human existence within a large social group. (Not personal reflective self awareness styled self talk.)
Given this position, i would suggest that it creates interdependencies that propels mankind forward. Otherwise, with me first we create dependencies that separate us at the fundamental level. Your matrix is capturing the dichotomy.12/12/2016 #22 Sara JacoboviciPart 2/2: This leads me to what #19, @Harvey Lloyd captures when he writes: "The ability to carry in my hand technology that allows for total connectivity has allowed me to live virtually while losing my skills within the human experience." It's not so much technology that I am concerned about, it's the impact technology has on "re-wiring" who we are. We are sensory beings and if we are deprived of certain sensory experiences, the same people that imagined these new devices will no longer be able to see beyond their function.12/12/2016 #21 Sara JacoboviciPart 1/2: #14 #17 #18 Gentlemen, @David B. Grinberg, @CityVP Manjit and @Mohammed Sultan, your discussion is invaluable and I am excited to see it arise here. The depth of the comments; self-reflective, intelligent, informative and interpretative, and the questions that are raised, prove that it is emotion, especially fear, that distract from our ability to stay grounded in our human capacity. David, you who look out beyond the boundaries of earth, can not speak of limits and scope. Manjit proves that technologically based devices cannot replace humans when he says, "...explore flow with my learned capabilities to handle variety of information in a way that best represents my exploration. " Only a human (like Manjit) can think and express himself in this way. Another example comes from Mohammed Sultan when he differentiates between creative thinking which is binding to the moment and creative thinking that can also work in different boundaries. This can only come from a human source.12/12/2016 #20 Harvey Lloyd#14 I will have to go with you on this thought pattern. Although i understand the reply of @CityVP Manjit i believe we speak of two very different aspects of the discussions.
Our journey of technology is one aspect while the impact of current technology is another. The future of technology may promise many things, healthcare, human safety and productivity, but what does that world look like based on where we are now? Clearly technology is leading the way to a new society that i don't think we have thought through. Many consumers who once were our customers are now without work, so they cant consume. We will no longer be able to barter our time for money and consume. Technology is taking the value of our time from the barter equation.
I am not against technology, but am stating that if tech is going to change the barter system we have, then shouldn't we be working on that at the same rate as tech? If we think about it, i believe we can see tech at the center of the have and have not debate and the narrowing of the middle class.12/12/2016 #19 Harvey Lloyd@Sara Jacobovici you are continuing to shed light in dark areas. Our challenging emotions are typically our yield and stop signs. But like when we experience these signs in driving we are called to act a certain way, then so we should when experiencing these emotions. Emotions should not change the journey but rather enhance our experience on the journey. Just as the signs of the road keep us safe.
In our daily professional lives we have people we journey with and this causes these yielding emotions to come forward. Most importantly though we have to reconcile these emotions with each other. This is the human experience. Clearly, though there is a new kid on the block that i think you touch on. Technology.
I find technology foreboding. It introduces to each group of professionals a myriad of data sets that can overwhelm and can also be generated in such a way that replaces humans. In reviewing the outputs of technology we now create a third participant within the discussion You/Me/Data. But data is binary in the sense that it is right or wrong about the future as perceived. Also, data is subjective in its appearance and collection.
Although our imaginations did create the technology i don't believe we thought through the impact. I enjoy the impact up to the point my job, career, fiscal stability gets affected. The ability to carry in my hand technology that allows for total connectivity has allowed me to live virtually while losing my skills within the human experience.
Your tree and understanding of problem solving comes from your history without the technology. What of the new/next generations that all they know is tech? Will they or can they grasp the concepts presented here?12/12/2016 #18 Mohammed Sultan#17 Thanks for sharing your link.When we compare singularity or AI with what's been shared by @ Sara Jacobovici we at once will realize that both are talking about the creative thinking,but from two different angles.Sara is talking about creative thinking which is binding to the moment and can improve the current state of workplaces performance in the short term.Her creative thinking can also work in different boundaries anchored by the same rules,but can't be conceived for uncertain future.Whereas singularity is not limited to specific" time horizon" and can be conceived for the future and also in different boundaries.As a researcher I don't believe in the power of singularity or AI in which one can be vividly aware or see himself functioning a decade from now.Singularity of such kind that can tell the future or control it, is only owned by the power of God,otherwise scientists could have hurried up to clone it for the ordinary people.12/12/2016 #17 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#16 Dear @David B. Grinberg you do know what those limits and scopes are because that is the emotional response that Sara is talking about here, and thus when I am pursuing information in how I am able to receive it, whether it is relevant that I understand it now and to see what I can grasp immediately, without setting out acres of personal time trying to understand these things at a deeper level. That deeper level has one compass which is to know our own flow. If we become overwhelmed we know we have flown to high or engaged in too many areas at once, or if we are underwhelmed then we know we have room to explore more.
Take this proponent for singularity who wrote their thoughts about it, relating positive thinking with singularity - of course that is the opinion of this individual but this opinion is well within both of our limits and scope - of course all dependent on what else is occupying our field of attention at the time we attend to this material :
Singularity Defined and Refined by Singularity Utopia (2013 Blog)
I don't want to flood others with information, but explore flow with my learned capabilities to handle variety of information in a way that best represents my exploration. Learning is as unique as our own individual DNA. You cannot become me, and I cannot become you- but the abundance we share is this opportunity to explore the way that makes most sense for us to explore. There is network intelligence (not network stupidity) which is to welcome what you can welcome so long as it leads to flow, liberation and freedom of your own mind and being.12/12/2016 #16 David B. Grinberg#15 Many thanks for your thoughtful reply, CityVP Manjit, and thank you for sharing those web links too. I can tell you that my own "limit and scope" is, shall we say, limited in scope. I try to wrap my head around these mega concepts, but usually that just results in a mega headache. Thus, I appreciate your pointing me in the right direction.12/12/2016 #15 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#14 Dear @David B. Grinberg, you are asking here about something unfathomable. There are people who have tried to put a perspective around the movement to what you describe as the brave new world in life and one of those is Kevin Kelly, because Kelly has the abstractive ability to begin to knit together the thinking that is dimensions above where most of us are and emerge from this rarefied atmosphere with something that we can put our minds around, or at least begin to establish what this map of the unknown may potentially look like.
Here is Kevin Kelly talking about the Singularity as it applies to AI
This is no different to knowing we cannot think like Einstein but we can follow his example of imagining following a beam of light. We will only go so far in our own learning journey but it is sufficient enough to awaken our individual lives to the uncertainty and new possibilities emerging ahead.
One of the steps we can take our own awareness is then follow the leads that will make most sense to us because we each know our own limits of understanding and scope of imagination. I cannot say what this limit and scope is for David B. Grinberg - only you know that.
An example of a step I can take in my own learning journey in this particular stream of consciousness is simply to listen to someone like Vernor Vinge - because ideas he originated have been level set for the understanding of the earnest learner with basic curiosity.
Vernor Vinge - Foresight and the Singularity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tngUabHOea012/12/2016 #14 David B. GrinbergThank you, Sara, for such an informative, educational and enlightening read. As someone who considers himself an amateur futurist (rightly or wrongly), I'm concerned that the frenetic pace of technology will soon overwhelm human capacities. Some scientists say that the average laptop computer is currently equivalent to the human brain. Others say artificial intelligence will be smarter than humans by the 2030s. Thus, keeping pace with new and evolving tech -- let alone staying ahead of the curve -- is a substantial challenge which will likely grow more difficult over time.
According to "Moore's law" -- for example -- computing power doubles every two years (some say as little as 18-months). Additionally, many scientists and others predict that AI humanoid robots (or androids) will be capable of passing the so-called "Turing Test" as early as the 2030s as well. That means these AI androids will not only be much smarter than humans, but indistinguishable as well. Some fear they will replace humans altogether, not just jobs. As you know, many large companies are also adopting machine learning, AI and robotics in many aspects of their business operations to replace human employees. Thus, to coin a phrase, we indeed face a brave new world not only in business but in life generally. The subsequent challenges ahead of us are immense and historically game changing. THOUGHTS?11/12/2016 #12 debasish majumderfour hydrogen atoms enable to produce Helium in the sun. and helium consists of 2 electron, two protons and two neutrons. have we ever thought, where is the missing electrons and protons and how it transforms to form helium, where energy how plays the key role? we must not be flummoxed and nature maintains a unique balance, along with matter and anti-matter, the duality, a significant feature, causing immense impact to even our very existence! Great post @Sara Jacobovici! enjoyed read. thank you very much for sharing the post madam.11/12/2016 #10 Mohammed Sultan#6 When companies treat people motivation as strategy they will value people emotion over capital or equity, and will think of the ROE -as Return On Emotion not Equity. Researches on motivation have shown that people feel more satisfied when they get regarded rather than being rewarded,because their emotion has become more important than the salaries they are paid.When companies treat motivation as strategy they will come to a conclusion that; when they trust people they will trust their customers,and the higher the trust level the higher ROE will be.Businesses also are about feelings and when feelings are suppressed we expect the ROE to get lower .You can't imagine how pride people feel when they get regarded ,they will extend their creative domain and stretch their thinking beyond the norms and logic to creativity and imagination.11/12/2016 #8 Max🐝 J. CarterWhen I was a supervisor for United Healthcare I found that simply treating my direct reports as human beings and not functions made all the difference.
I said things like :"Good morning, thanks for making it in today." had big impact on their desire to be there.
Then I made it a priority to ensure my people understood that my performance was direct result of theirs and my best interest was served by serving theirs where creating a sense of feeling valued to inspire and motivate them to perform better.
I simply invested my own caring into caring about the human being and let that show in my actions and words and it created more of a family dynamic and i was much more approachable and found coaching them in performance became easier as they were much more receptive.
I find it really is more efficient in business to simplify and be human about what you do and treat each other as thinking and feeling human beings.
Emotional states are the result of the love we feel we are or are not getting from the environment we are in.
When i started taking a fatherly approach to my job I saw the improved performance and morale and loyalty and desire to perform. I cover this in my leadership writing .
I have covered before in my own writing one emotion that there is only one love and fear and all everything else is states of love and fear or faces of it so to speak. This eliminates the idea of positive and negative emotions and forces one to see a whole being and investigate the history that led to the now and the current emotional state.11/12/2016 #6 Sara Jacobovici#4 @Mohammed Sultan, personally, I am always so encouraged and flattered by your comments. Thank you. Your insights are always appreciated, as well as your writing style. The take away, for me, of this comment has to be, "When the employee motivation is treated as a strategy, people will work in harmony to achieve the balance between their internal actions and their external impact." Thanks again.11/12/2016 #5 Ali AnaniHello @Sara Jacobovici- I am thrilled by your buzz and it deserves a welcoming waggling dance. You have shown in three examples how the initial emotional points may diversify into different patterns by different people and follow trajectories of their own.
The first three feelings were negative as it is well-established that it is easier to stay in one domain of negative emotions than to make a jump to the domain of positive emotions. That frustration developed into disappointment and irritation is in line with what has been experienced. It takes energy to make the jump and this is evident from the emotions branching out patterns in your worked examples.
You have now an emotions fingerprint-equivalent.
One of the pioneering IBM CEOs said that it is managing people and their emotions that counts. Your buzz explains this beautifully.
I am humbled for playing the role of a trigger in prompting you to write such a. thinking buzz on emotional patterns. I thank you for the mention of my name.11/12/2016 #4 Mohammed Sultan@Sara Jacobovici It's really a creative post .You either have the attitude of an expert consultant or had been trained in your childhood on how to fit pieces into a synergistic whole (JIGSAW) and enjoyed the beauty and measured the impact of this process.Fit and balance between both sides the human and the physical..between our personal and professional interests ..between knowledge and feeling are crucial to build an emotional corporate jigsaw.The emotional org culture has become a necessity because it reflects our thoughts and feelings.When the employee motivation is treated as a strategy, people will work in harmony to achieve the balance between their internal actions and their external impact.The shape and the beauty of the future corporate jigsaw will depend to large extent on how well the internal parts,the external impact and our actions can all be kept in balance and lead to strategic moves in the right time.
- Producer25/11/2016Conscious and Subconscious QuestionsI say the more we know, the more we should ask questions to discover how little we know. Surprisingly, what we know for sure becomes our handicap. We all know for example, that water is an essential ingredient for our health and vitality. We know...
Comments08/01/2017 #158 Lyon BraveI used to ask all the big questions, then i got into this existential depression because my molecules didn't some big enough or infinite enough to compete with the universe. Then i stopped caring about entropy, afterlives, why am i hear, what is my purpose collective purpose, and i just started focusing on me. I'm not designed to be a scientist, knowing about black matter just confuses me and makes me feel minuscule., I'm a more philosophical person. I think they're both people of reason. I would rather focusing on my inner being than the outer world, but i'm so glad other people go explore it.30/11/2016 #156 Joris Plaatstaal#155 I think that is the beauty and the sadness of it all. Crossing the border might be an event not noticed by the traveler.
No matter what border the traveler crosses, at some point the traveler will realize there is no way back.
The traveler crossed the line and lost his past. Is that why so many of us do not travel?
I can understand them, the stayers. Traveling is about finding new and losing old. I can understand it does not appeal to everyone.30/11/2016 #154 Joris Plaatstaal#153 Now you got me thinking.... @Ali Anani.
"Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge."
This is an interaction I truly love. ......Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge...... It is just great, I did not realize that while commenting. You kick my thoughts a step further and at this time I am not sure why.....
Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge. There are so many ways to look at that. I will have to let it sink in.
Thank you!29/11/2016 #152 Joris Plaatstaal#148 I agree @Ali Anani.
"And so there is a danger of always searching." That was indeed a bit of a one-liner. What I tried to say.... And that is where the complexity cuts in....
There are people who are sure they know. There are people who are sure they don't know, and they search further.
At what point in life and knowledge are we happy with who we are? Free?
Am I to early reaching that point? I made up my mind. I am sixteen years old and I know it all. What I know is the rigid setting for the rest of my life.
Will I never reach that point? I can't make up my mind. I am 120 years old and I am not sure. I must learn more.
Those are two extremities, I know. They fell in my mind, reading your conversation with Max. Those extremities do not represent you or Max. My knowledge of the both of you is too superficial.
Ah well. What did Come to my mind? The extremities.
"Know" to soon and freedom is lost. Never know and freedom is an illusion. Where do I step in? At what point in my life I feel secure, without developing my own tunnel vision? It feels like a Gaussian curve with a standard deviation of close to nothing.
Does this explain my one-liner more?
P.S. I am only here to exchange thoughts, not to prove my right. Thank you for your open, respectful comment.28/11/2016 #148 Ali Anani#147 @Joris Plaatstaal- There is a concept of "DEgrees of Freedom in statistics. I realize I lost one degree from your comment "But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.28/11/2016 #147 Joris PlaatstaalJoris Plaatstaal
11 min #146
Nov 28, 2016 12:41:55 AM
#141 It comes with being on social media @Ali Anani. No different to life. Everywhere, anytime we follow leaders who know......
In the end you can only follow yourself. I think you do just that. Your questioning, an admirable gift.
But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.
Life is so lovely complicated! It is all I expected. A blind walking forwards. Infinite.
Freedom is universal. But we seem to not live in the same universe.... Another complication, yes!27/11/2016 #144 Max🐝 J. Carter#142 It's not negative and you are being abusive in saying so.
It;'s the truth and it hurt your feelings because the truth hurts when one is living in delusion. Again this is behavioral psychology applied. I am not being negative I am being honest.
Using the term negative is a mechanism for retaining ones delusional state so one can dismiss that they heard truth.
Using the term negative is done to infer there is something wrong with someone so you ignore them and what they have presented.
If I applied the positive negative metaphor I have been more positive than most as honesty is a positive quality and delusion one that has negative impacts on the self and that damage gets spread in the name of justifying holding onto the delusion causing one to see the truth as a negative thing because it destroys their delusion.
It is psychologically unhealthy to use such subjective terms as positive and negative as they allow for mechanism to abuse other people to become rationalized and justified through use of the terms.27/11/2016 #142 Mohammed Sultan#140 Wisdom goes beyond understanding to interpretation of facts,it makes one's light more brighter than another and will help us see others pitfalls.We are always required to find a synergy between our personal and professional objectives.Our knowledge base and skills often go beyond the recipes of classical behavior psychology books to coaching and mentoring , visioning and inspiring people .We always think of more creative ways to develop the students skills to stretch their thinking beyond the norms of classic books.Our thoughts are always a reflection of our feeling and when we view others as "wrong"we trigger our negative emotions and may regress into a negative mood.27/11/2016 #141 Ali AnaniI read by a quote years back stating that "I have to be 300% I am correct before I dare say somebody is wrong".
Some comments are sidelining these discussions by making sweeping comments and turning the discussions from win- win to I win-you lose. It is sad it is truly wasting our times. Just stating somebody is flatly wrong without solid proofs and with many not seeing eye-to-eye with him is unacceptable. I hope discussions here shall only focus on the theme of the buzz and not sideline it to show off what we know. If needed and the commenter has such opposing ideas I suggest he writes a separate buzz.27/11/2016 #140 Max🐝 J. Carter#137 Wisdom is understanding how much of the knowledge is superfluous and strips away at structures to find understanding.
You are totally wrong as knowledge about people is absolutely scientific depending how you acquire it.
Experience reveals truth.
Any scientific experiment is designed to find the truth or determine what the facts are and what is the actual.
To deny there any absolutes is delusional thinking at it's best stemming from a fear of being wrong. This is behavioral psychology applied through scientific method over the course of many hundreds of years in society and is an inarguable absolute truth and fact of the human condition.
The only reason to attempt to deny this is keep ones delusions in place so one never has to take stand and risk being wrong which means they choose willful ignorance and never really grow and keep themselves in a state of emotional maturity that is could be described as adolescent or juvenile.
This isn't my idea or creative thinking, this is applied behavioral psychology.
- 10/11/2016Ad agencies are rushing out artificial intelligence services - Digidaydigiday.com MDC Media Partners, Huge, Team One, Isobar and GroupM are approaching AI on their own...
- Producer08/11/2016Narcissism and Non-IdentityI recently had to have a very frank discussion with my kids about what it means to be the child of a narcissist (their father). As they get older, I feel more able to have these types of conversations with them because they are my emotional...
Comments09/11/2016 #16 Nikki Petersen#6 Right, Renee. The not knowing is when you're blaming yourself. Finding your way out of that can be tough when you're a kid because you don't have the emotional maturity to see the world for what it is (which, some would argue, is a good thing). I'm so glad you are healing.09/11/2016 #15 Nikki Petersen#9 That's exactly it. I'm trying, but honestly, the grip of a narcissistic parent is so pervasive that it's a really tough uphill battle. It's horrible to hear my wonderful baby say that he's worthless and would be better off dead. I've been hearing that since he was 5 or 6. As an empath, I also experienced this existential depression related to my lack of identity. It took decades for me to get it, with therapy. I hope that I will be able to help him enough that he can also find his way out.08/11/2016 #12 Katja BaderThank you for this great buzz, Nikki. You write so many words, that I felt when I was with my (now Ex-) husband, who is a narcissist and our children.
A narcissist always sees parts of himself in his children and wants to create them to a copy of himself. He tries to implant his meanings, ideas, dreams etc in his children. That could have bad results for the children and can take years to heal it. I always want to find out the real and own personality of the children and promote them as much as I can.08/11/2016 #9 Paul Frank GilbertFlawed and imperfect as we are ... there is something particularly sad and seemingly humanly wrong about a parent that would divide their children into such classifications as to have them sense for one moment a feeling of less. Less love. Less acceptance. Less understanding. Less trust. Less expectation ... hope ... ability ... on and on.
The world is a tough place. Life is not fair. But we all want our kids to know with certainty that they have a place where they are accepted for themselves, where a mistake or a weakness does not define them and label them. We want to for them to see a place for themselves in the world and to be strong enough to fight for it if necessary.
Sounds like you are a great parent.08/11/2016 #6 Renée 🐝 CormierAs the daughter of a narcissist and the sibling of at least one, I can tell you it took me some time to figure out what was wrong with our family. I found my way to heal over the years but the healing really came once I realized what I was dealing with. It's the not knowing period that is the most damaging because you are constantly being manipulated and you can't see or understand what is going on. The upside of my early life is that it has enabled me to become very good at managing people and their emotions. As long as your children understand the divisive and manipulative tactics that narcissists rely on and when they are being played, they will be able to avoid the trap of seeking approval, being afraid or being resentful of other family members.08/11/2016 #5 Deb 🐝 HelfrichA very warm welcome to beBee, @Nikki Petersen. This is a great lesson on a number of topics. Primarily that we get the kids we create, and that will shape the rest of their lives. Further, this point about understanding oneself as a business person is crucial:
"If you're thinking about going into business for yourself (or you're already there), please get to know yourself and what your challenges are. Without that introspection and self-correction, you aren't likely to make it far."