- Producer04/12/2016Hack Your Brain for the Ultimate LifeThere is increasing proof that the mind is more powerful than we realize. We can think our way to financial success, rewarding relationships, and even good health.Medical researchers now say that in many cases, a placebo - a pill with nothing in it,...
Comments06/12/2016 #6 Lisa GallagherGreat article @Cory Galbraith ( I know, that sounds SO cliche) but seriously- good! I'm actually working on some of the steps you listed, having a hard time motivating myself to go workout! I'd love to have a partner to workout with, we could hold each other responsible. However, I've done it alone each time in the past, I just need a good kick in the butt to get moving on it again. I would love it if my higher brain was more in control, a good thing to aim for!04/12/2016 #1 AnonymousThere is so much being written about this subject matter today and I find it very uplifting. In this buzz, you've gotten to the 'pulse' of it all - and in very practical terms, with very practical examples on how to apply it. Very nice! I am sharing this in the Sanctuary hive as well as on twitter.
- 03/12/2016Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
A good engineer will understand the forces, the stresses at work, before designing the bridge. A good teacher will assess the class before teaching. A good student will understand before he applies. A good parent will understand before evaluating or judging.
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
Comments03/12/2016 #2 Jared Wiese#1 Thanks for the feedback, CityVP.
Don't you think his message is sound: instead of focusing on yourself, your message, your goals... Focus on what others want/like/understand first?
Even in terms of creating a following, if we post just things we like - that may even offend others - how much of a following will we get? Surely some rotten apples, but not the good core we seek.
On the other hand, if we post good content that others like, showing our understanding of their likes, then we gain a following.
Also like adding value at work, once we understand value to someone else.03/12/2016 #1 CityVP ManjitThe irony is that we still live in a media broadcast model, where the expectations are that we will create a following - which prompts people to be understood. So this is more than just Elvis Costello's words "Don't let Me Be Misunderstood" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zriKO7hXsTc View moreThe irony is that we still live in a media broadcast model, where the expectations are that we will create a following - which prompts people to be understood. So this is more than just Elvis Costello's words "Don't let Me Be Misunderstood" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zriKO7hXsTc or The Animals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfwN0X8YnWo but getting back to our core - which is understanding and Covey wrote about that core in a way that we intuitively understand, though the practical part of that understanding explains why people consult Covey rather than see the learner that is their own mind, heart and will.. Close
- 02/12/2016Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
It is in the ordinary events of every day that we develop the proactive capacity to handle the extraordinary pressures of life. It’s how we make and keep commitments, how we handle a traffic jam, how we respond to an irate customer or a disobedient child. It’s how we view our problems and where we focus our energies. It’s the language we use.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
- Producer21/11/2016Developing a Tolerance to NegativityImage credit: Casual Photophile The writers and readers who participate in the discussions found on beBee provide such a great source of energy to think, learn, grow and succeed. And it’s...
Comments27/11/2016 #103 Jared Wiese#102 Love it! HA... here we go....
Your acceptance comment reminds me of M. Scott Peck's Road Less Travelled (which I imagine you've read ;)
The first 2 paragraphs speak to acceptance (CAPS are mine):
"Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and ACCEPT it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."
The paradox, duality, good/bad, negative emotions (suffering) topics also remind me of Dan Millman's The Life You Were Born to Live. From the chapter, The Law of Perfection:
"From a transcendental perspective, everyone and everything is unconditionally perfect; from a conventional viewpoint, perfection doesn't exist" -J. Krishnamurti
"The Law of Perfection presents a paradox because it contains two apparently opposite truths, which operate at different levels of experience.
From a conventional view, this world is a place of suffering: crime in the streets, the hungry, the homeless, the oppressed. Even without the daily news, in our own lives, when we get what we don't want, we suffer; when we don't get what we do want, we also suffer; and even when we get exactly what we want, nothing lasts in this realm.
From a transcendental perspective - seeing ourselves and this world with all its difficulties from the all-encompassing wisdom and patience and love and understanding that comes when our hearts are open - then all of it, the joys and sorrows, the suffering and pleasure, and everything going on in this moment on planet Earth, is absolutely, completely perfect in terms of a great process of evolution."27/11/2016 #102 Sara Jacobovici#101 No rambling here @Jared Wiese but your perspective and insights. Thanks for sharing. When you write, "Until we reach a threshold, we probably will not really change the circumstances that got us, stung.", it reminds me of Carl Rogers quote, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."27/11/2016 #101 Jared Wiese#84 yes, Sara. Thank you for the insightful reply! More good perspectives.
My simile also speaks to tolerance. Many people can tolerate 1 sting. Some cannot. Until we reach a threshold, we probably will not really change the circumstances that got us, stung.
I am thinking of the more current definition of tolerance. To me, it then gets into how much pain we take before changing. This ties to negative emotions and your discussion point.
- Am I "really mad/sad/hurt/NEGATIVE" that I got stung? (notice the reactivity)
- Am I "grateful/glad/smarter/POSITIVE" that I now know what I did or can do to avoid getting stung (proactive).
It is not me vs. the bee. It is me AND the bee. Perhaps that's another perception of duality?! We both exist and do what we are innately born to do (sting/react)
. . . or learn to do better (sting/not swat at a Bee's nest, then get uoset about it) if we are more evolved.
Please excuse the rambling-if you feel/choose to see it as such. I hope it ties to many points in this discussion.27/11/2016 #100 Sara JacoboviciPart 2/2 @Nikki Petersen continued from part 1.....Tension does exist in the "negative" until the expected resolution occurs and then the positive/release takes place. The duration, intensity and sense of familiarity of the tension will create different experiences. Nothing simple about all of this but certainly makes for interesting discussion.
I have to confess the first thing I thought of was Peanuts and Lucy and Charlie Brown and the football. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=055wFyO6gag27/11/2016 #99 Sara Jacobovici#96 Part 1/2 Thank you @Nikki Petersen for taking the time to read my post and for your comment. I appreciate you bringing up trust/mistrust as they are are an important contribution to this discussion. You write, "For us to create the trust that enables the sitting with the tension, there also has to be mistrust. There has to be doubt that the outcome will be what we hope it will be." My sense of this is a mature view point; something we are able to form out of accumulated experiences, whereas trust and mistrust are formed very early on in human development. It's not a matter of hope for the newborn and infant to have his or her needs met, its an expectation. The newborn or infant trusts that his or her physical and emotional needs will be met; it's unspoken and innate. It is when those needs are not met that mistrust begins to form and produces feelings/sensations related to anxiety.
In any group, individuals bring their own meanings formed from experiences related to expectations and will either be "naively" open in their trust or on the other end of the spectrum, suspicious, or anywhere in between. Trust is earned; we shouldn't trust anyone until they have proven that they are trustworthy. In terms of my clinical work I remind my client of that. I have to work hard at earning his or her trust. As well, I remind my client that there are three aspects to the trust in the work; they need to trust themselves that they will do what they need or able to do in their work, trust the medium; whether the talking or the creative arts materials and process, and then there is me, where the client can take the time to develop that trust.27/11/2016 #97 Jim MurrayI learned a bit here and that's always good. This is a solid post, nicely reasoned and resolved and very useful, especially for Americans at this extremely stressful juncture in their history.
But I was a little taken aback at some of the comments. This Max Carter fellow very much appears to be a walking contradiction of sorts. "I have one rule in life. Do not go to jail. If you like it, do it again, if not, don't." What does that even mean and what does that have to do with your piece? The first time I read it I got the distinct impression he was approving of those who choose a life of crime.
There's a certain etiquette that needs to be observed here. People spend a lot of time and energy on their posts, and slathering the comments with non-sequiturs and discussion highjacks is really bad form. The whole idea is that the engagement should add to the value of the post, not take the discussion off into the wild blue yonder.
I guess you could accuse me of the same thing, but it needed to be said, because I'm seeing a lot of it lately.27/11/2016 #96 Nikki Petersen@Sara Jacobovici I enjoyed your discussion of this topic. I do enjoy this forum because it allows me to think deeply, which I need in my life. Thank you.
I wonder where trust fits in? In trying to apply the topic to my own life, personal, business, and parenting (among other aspects), my observation is that so much of the tension and dissonance is created by trust/mistrust issues. For example, the employees can feel that they should focus on the journey of discovery to multiple outcomes, but they have to trust that their ideas will fall on receptive ears; isn't the reason that sitting with the tension is uncomfortable is because they're not sure they can trust what will happen in the long-run?
With your other example, music and therapy, doesn't the client need to be able to trust that the outcome of being with the tension created in a session will be useful or meaningful? That trust isn't just there, automagically -- it has to be created.
For us to create the trust that enables the sitting with the tension, there also has to be mistrust. There has to be doubt that the outcome will be what we hope it will be.
And that's where the circle comes back to negative emotions. We've all been hurt and we've all experienced the disappointment of misplaced trust. It's part of being human.
The tension between positive and negative then, must come from trust and mistrust?27/11/2016 #95 Max J. CarterWhat is it you are disagreeing with?
Which part and why?
I am think the readers would be curious to know more than I would.
Is the part where I say we are not as removed from the animal kingdom a we would like to think?
Is it the part where I explain pack mentality and how it actually works?
Is the part about rules creating exclusion?
Or is it all of it summarily?
I covered more Tran one point.27/11/2016 #90 Max J. Carter#89 The chaos behind why the birds flock together has many variables down to the individual birds and the place they take within the flock. there are no rules, they feel their way though it with instinct and at times in any flock or even pack there are challenges for pecking order or place in the pack.
The alpha is the strongest leader of the flock or the pack that guides them true and out of danger based on the leaders intuition which is chaos based in the now and the variables in a state of flux being read in the moment.
We as humans foolishly think ourselves more evolved from the animal and will go against intuition in favor of thinking we can think better than our intuitive senses. That is the biggest road block we create and keep in place for ourselves.
I have one rule in life. Do not go to jail. If you like it, do it again, if not, don't.
When you start creating rules you have to start excluding those who don't meet with your rules. For me i think it's healthy not be hanging out with someone in the middle of creating a crime and to avoid breaking the law myself in my own actions.
When people do not comply with the laws we impose in society they go away from society and are excluded from society.
Rule building is about creating mechanisms for and parameters for exclusion.27/11/2016 #89 Ali Anani#88 There are simple rules for birds flocking together> The feedback effect leading to chaos is based on simple rules. No one pretends the rules are always right, but we strive to improve them. They help in focusing our efforts. Nobody till now can predict the weather of of its complexity, but it was the three simple differential equations that helped in noticing the butterfly effect. We are trying to do the same.27/11/2016 #88 Max J. Carter#87 I disagree because existence works on the principle of organized chaos and as a part of existence so do we which means all the variables are variable in the moment and no equation is ever going to suit the moment you are in unless you create it and can control all the variables which control is an illusion.
To create an equation is to engage in willful delusion that one has control over anything. We mange ourselves we don't control anything because we are organized chaos not a machine.
- 16/11/2016He makes things easier for himself who makes things easier for others.
Asian saying—Habit 4: Think Win-Win
-Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- Producer11/11/2016It's Not What You ThinkWhat is the value of life? What is the value of belief? Does value exist only in misguided and arrogant ideology giving right and rise to power over others? Regardless of the justification it is the worst of values to believe that one person...
Comments11/11/2016 #1 Jared WieseDARN good food for thought!
I'd suggest a discussion on values vs. PRINCIPLES:
“Correct principles are like compasses: they are always pointing the way. And if we know how to read them, we won’t get lost, confused, or fooled by conflicting voices and values.
Principles are self-evident, self-validating natural laws. They don’t change or shift. They provide ‘true north’ direction to our lives when navigating the ‘streams’ of our environments.
Principles apply at all time in all places. They surface in the form of values, ideas, norms, and teachings that uplift, ennoble, fulfill, empower, and inspire people. The lesson of history is that to the degree people and civilizations have operated in harmony with correct principles, they have prospered.”
“Principles, unlike values, are objective and external. They operate in obedience to natural laws, regardless of conditions. Values are subjective and internal. Values are like maps. Maps are not the territories; they are only subjective attempts to describe or represent the territory. The more closely our values or maps are aligned with correct principles—with the realities of the territory, with things as they really are—the more accurate and useful they will be.”
—Stephen R. Covey
- 11/11/2016Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
:Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- 10/11/201611/9/2016 - the day after the US elections...
Be a model, not a critic. Look at the weakness of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they are doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
This ties nicely with a classic:
"What things in your Circle of Influence are being crowded out of your attention and energy by things that are really in your Circle of Concern?"
Habit 1: Be Proactive
:Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- Psychology of Motivation - How to Get Motivated using Psychological Insight and Tricks How to get motivated using some psychological tricks and being self-aware to use your passions to drive you. Tai Lopez has mentioned that there are four...
- Plan your week. Weekly organizing gives you the freedom and the flexibility to handle unanticipated events, to shift appointments if you need to, to savor relationships and interactions with others, and to deeply enjoy spontaneous experiences.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
:Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- Producer27/04/2016How I build new Habits(This post was first published on Linkedin)Habits can be changed. Old ones can be dropped and new ones can be added.Your life is, after all, a reflection of your habits.But it is not that easy. You see one cannot loose a negative habit like their...
- 07/11/2016It is the ability to choose which makes us human.
Madeleine L'Engle, American author—Habit 1: Be Proactive
:Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- Many people refuse to delegate to other people because they feel it takes too much times and effort and they could do the job better themselves. But effectively delegating to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage activity there is.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- Tony Robbins: How to Master Anything (Motivational Video) Tony Robbins: How to Master Anything (Motivational Video) ►CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE BOOK : http://selfhelpbooks.info The Tony Robbins Experience:...
Comments05/11/2016 #1 Jared WieseTony Robbins: How to Master Anything (Motivational Video)
Law of Attraction Coaching 34,605 views
Published on Nov 2, 2016Tony Robbins: How to Master Anything (Motivational Video)
►CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE BOOK : http://selfhelpbooks.info
The Tony Robbins Experience: Life Will Never Be the Same Again
After a full year of the Tony Robbins experience, I wanted to take a moment to recap all the incredible adventures I've had, highlight the most important wisdom I've learned and urge you to make the three most important decisions in your life.
t all started with Unleash the Power Within (UPW).
I can't even believe that my journey started less than a year ago, in March of 2015, with my fellow Inc. Owners Council CEOs. I documented my personal transformation at this event, so I won't detail it here. What I will say is that the rock concert style and incredible energy is unlike any event in any industry (and I've attended and/or spoken at hundreds of events globally). I now understand why many Tony Robbins fans refer to UPW lovingly as "the gateway drug." It's what sets you on a course for total transformation. (I later invited my entire company and ultimately shared this experience with several of my Trepoint colleagues in Chicago in June).
Business mastery transforms my business.
Having had an incredible personal transformation at UPW, I got on a plane and flew to London to experience Business Mastery (Part 2). Yes, I'm an overachiever so I decided that to get all of this done inside a year, I needed to take the Business Mastery courses out of order. And I'm so glad I did. I met a global network of entrepreneurs who I'm still working with more than six months later. There's no question that I received more than $1 million dollars in business value in the five days I spent there (as promised and personally guaranteed by the Anthony Robbins organization).
Life mastery transforms my body.
Two weeks after London, I flew t
- Tony Robbins: Stop Kidding Yourself (Tony Robbins Motivation) Tony Robbins: Stop Kidding Yourself (Tony Robbins Motivation) Learn more detail - Please Click Here to Get Your Free Book: http://pursueyourpassion.me About...
- 04/11/2016Guidance means your source of direction in life. Encompassed by your map, your internal frame of reference that interprets for you what is happening out there, are standards or principles or implicit criteria that govern moment by moment decision-making and doing.
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
- 11/08/2016Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. - C. S. Lewis
Do the right things today....even if no one is there to notice.
- 03/11/2016Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.
Emotional Bank Account
-Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app
- 03/11/2016What you do has far greater impact than what you say. - Stephen Covey
Make sure that your actions today align with what you want to say!
- Producer01/11/2016What To Do When You Feel OverwhelmedIf everyone was satisfied with himself, There would be no heroes. --Mark TwainI found myself feeling a little more stressed than normal. I was...
Comments02/11/2016 #20 Pamela L. Williams#8 I walk. When faced with a dilemma of any kind, if I walk, I'll develop a solution. At my different jobs they had to learn that when they see Pam walking down the hall (ignoring anyone she passes) or outside, leave her alone because when she comes back...eureka! :-) One time I never made it out of my office before I did an immediate about face, it was so quick the team's new assistant thought I had lost my mind.02/11/2016 #19 Paul Kearley 🐝#15 thanks @Sarah Elkins of course that example was from a few years ago pre cancer. Now I do the same thing except it's a brisk walk and I always walk with my border collie by my side. Oh the stories she could tell from what I've told her as we've walked countless kilometres01/11/2016 #16 Franci Eugenia HoffmanI enjoyed this post, Paul. I got home from our trip feeling tired and overwhelmed. Your post helped put me back on track and I am ready to regroup and move forward. I'm not a runner but I like a good vigorous walk. It clears my mind and gives me new energy.01/11/2016 #15 Sarah Elkins#10 That's exactly what I was thinking, @Melissa Hughes. As well as the reminder in your book that sometimes when you get stuck, getting out of your routine will help un-stick you. That's a big part of my next post about #NoLongerVirtual.
@Paul Kearley 🐝 View more#10 That's exactly what I was thinking, @Melissa Hughes. As well as the reminder in your book that sometimes when you get stuck, getting out of your routine will help un-stick you. That's a big part of my next post about #NoLongerVirtual.
@Paul Kearley 🐝, it sounds like you and @Laura Mikolaitis have a lot in common in terms of running to clear your head. I'm not a runner, but I find that if I take a vigorous hike, I can stop my gerbil-mind from spinning for a little while and figure out my next steps. Of course, sometimes you have to give yourself a little time to be frustrated, sad, angry, before you can move on to action and problem-solving. Great reminder here. Close01/11/2016 #14 Paul Kearley 🐝#12 we'll @Dawn Kieran as you can see you have come to a good place to find direction!
The thing I have found about finding the right moment is that you sometimes have to stop waiting for them to appear and start making them happen.
I'm so happy you stopped by my article for a little read.
Now the ball is in your court.01/11/2016 #10 AnonymousWow... I love this post, @Paul Kearley! There is a lot of research out there about how nature decreases cortisol production and other ways it impacts the brain. Sometimes, all it takes is a quiet moment with the earth to reset and refresh. Thank you for the reminder.... we've all been there!01/11/2016 #8 Paul Kearley 🐝#6 @Pamela L. Williams yes, I had heard that. Funny thing, as long as I can remember, whenever I feel out of sorts, I find an old tree (preferably a pine) and I put my whole back against it including the back of my head and I meditate, feeling the strength of the tree and I just listen. I am amazed at some of the ideas I have taken from this meditation/listening time. Yeah, I know. weird. But, for me, it seems to work.01/11/2016 #6 Pamela L. WilliamsPaul, know when to say when was the hardest lesson for me to learn. An interesting note about trees. For a long time scientists believed trees were stand-alone, self reliant. It's only been more recently that they've learned that plants have what you might call an Internet in which the cables are actually a fungus that grows on the roots and through this fungus the trees are communicating with other plants. A literal plant communication network that tells the trees when something is amiss and allows the tree to react accordingly. Nothing lives, works, or just exists in isolation. It's when we think we do that we stop listening to the signals telling us something is amiss. That is when those heavy, hard objects come flying at us! You might say the fungus among us is trying to tell us to chill out!01/11/2016 #5 Jared WieseAwesome post, Paul!
"I had even put off going for my daily runs, which usually helped me to clear my head and put things in perspective."
See, you KNEW better - and your body finally made you get moving to realize it ;)
So many parallels here. As such, am sharing to the following hives as in the order of your discovery:
- The Miracle morning (https://www.bebee.com/group/themiraclemorning) for the routine of exercising daily to clear yourself in so many ways,
- Eckhart Tolle (Eckhart Tolle) for the Power of Now and using stillness to connect with nature, and
- Habits of Highly Effective People (https://www.bebee.com/group/habits-of-highly-effective-people) for Covey's paradigm shifts of proactivity and "Circle of Influence".
Also check out https://www.bebee.com/producer/@jaredwiese/how-daily-questions-create-a-quality-life for more "pause time" to reflect and recharge - daily.01/11/2016 #3 Paul Kearley 🐝#1 you're right @Kevin Pashukwe both seem to be blessed with wonderful spouses who just know us sometimes better than we know ourselves.
As for being an introvert, I do it kicking and screaming. I seem to find myself as an incompetent introvert sitting on the fence between two states... introversion and extroversion.01/11/2016 #2 Laura Mikolaitis@Paul Kearley 🐝, this is a truly inspiring post and one that I can relate to. I've descended into that abyss on more than one occasion and if it not for the nudge of my husband telling me to "go for a run" and the winds of nature accepting me with open arms, it would have been much more difficult to climb out. I've learned (and believe I am a work in progress) that we all need those moments of reassessing where we are at the present moment. I believe that when we fall into that abyss it is so that when we finally climb out, we climb out stronger and with new perspective. Kudos to you for recognizing and accepting the opportunity to start again. We need the reset button from time to time. As for viewing problems as challenges, I couldn't agree more. It makes all the difference in how we approach them.01/11/2016 #1 Kevin PashukI didn't get past the first paragraph Paul before I nailed you as a fellow introvert. I recognize those emotions and thankfully, like yours, my wife knows when I need to recharge the emotional batteries with some alone time. Your epiphany was important... perspective of facts, not emotions, is how you need to frame things.
In the meantime, while you are practicing your newfound wisdom, perhaps you could order one of these shirts. https://www.lookhuman.com/design/57638-sorry-i-cant-right-now-im-busy-introverting?aff_sub=TnL5HPStwNw
- 01/11/2016I like to call this the Platinum Rule :)
The Golden Rule says to “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” While on the surface that could mean to do for them what you would like to have done for you, I think the more essential meaning is to understand them deeply as individuals, the way you would want to be understood, and then to treat them in terms of that understanding. As one successful parent said about raising children, “Treat them all the same by treating them differently.”
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app
- 30/10/2016Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
The way we see the problem is the problem.
Paradigms & Principles of Effectiveness
- 29/10/2016Shared from the Living the 7 Habits app:
Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.
Habit 1: Be Proactive