- Producer08/12/2017Emotional Intelligence: For Good or Evil?Since Peter Salovey and John Mayer first introduced the concept of emotional intelligence in 1990 and Daniel Goleman later popularized it with his 1995 bestseller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ, EQ has largely been accepted...
Comments10/12/2017 #8 Phil FriedmanHundreds, if not thousands of articles and even several books have been published about EI and EQ. The total substance of which, I think you've covered superb fashion here. The obstacle is not to learn about what EI is, but to train how to practice it--something that has and will continue to spawn an entire industry of would-be and self-proclaimed "coaches" -- many of whom will, no doubt, come from the ranks of less-than-successful Pilates and other personal fitness trainers. Cheers!10/12/2017 #7 Ian Weinberg@Melissa Hughes It could be said that based on the proposition that a high EQ may be used positively or nefariously, that a serial killer as an example, who is emotionally self-aware and aware of the emotionality of others (most notably his/her victims) and derives personal gratification from killing, has a high emotional intelligence. One could further say that they are functioning from their authentic core. In psychological terms however I've described here a true psychopath - suppressed core emotions with well learned superficial emotionality so as to manipulate others in order to achieve gratification for reactive psychopathology. I would propose that this individual is functioning at a very low EQ level despite apparent emotional savvy. The differentiator for a high EQ is an intrinsic drive to contribute value (to self, to others and to the environment). Contributing value can be defined as making something better than it was before you engaged with it.09/12/2017 #5 Edward LewellenThanks for balancing the view of EQ, @Melissa Hughes! Like guns, money, sex, and most everything, EQ can be used for good and bad. My experience tells me that how something like EQ is used is dependent on 1) is the person coming from their core identity or role identity, and 2) the intent they have. I’ve never taken an EQ course, so I’m unaware of how deeply they get in Into such things. However, I have a very high EQ which I use to help people in positive ways. I recently wrote a post on “EQ and Your Emotional Rescue”.08/12/2017 #3 Ken BoddieThe mood meter sounds useful, Melissa. Thanks for the tip. On the subject of emojis I use them merely for illustration and to avoid possible misunderstanding by the text reader, but am also guilty of using the ‘tears of joy’ as an exclamation. I hadn’t really thought of these cute funky faces as being tools to help us analyse our emotions. But who am I to argue against the University of Michigan and a billion text messages. So many emojis, so little time. 😂🤣😂
- Producer05/12/2017"I Hate to Read But I Love to Write."It seems we'd rather pee on an electric fence than read a book these days.“Never judge a book by its movie.” JW Eagan“There are three kinds of men,” Will Rogers once said, “The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest...
Comments08/12/2017 #41 Robert CormackWe like fast information, @Preston Vander Ven. Unfortunately, fast information is usually instantaneous, meaning without a lot of thought. I'm an editor for The Wake Up Call, and it's amazing how many pieces are sent to me that were obviously dashed off. Gert and I have discussed what it takes to write a thoughtful post. I admitted I take between 8 and 10 hours. This sounds absolutely ridiculous to 90 percent of writers on these sites, but either you labor over something or you throw things out there, hoping something sticks to the wall. I call that "jabber writing."#3908/12/2017 #40 Lada 🏡 PrkicRobert, your excellent post finally explained what's behind emoji comments or one-word comments like "wow" - a desire for expressing oneself as cleanly as our grunting ancestors. :)
Sometimes I also ask myself what else I could do with all the time I spent in reading. I'm still searching for an answer. :)07/12/2017 #39 Preston 🐝 Vander VenI will admit, I do not enjoy reading emoji pictures. It is a foreign language to me. My reading of books was decreased over the last three years, yet my reading of blogs has increased probably 100 times. I am not sure what I enjoy more. I am still kind of old fashioned, liking my favorite authors.07/12/2017 #38 Randall Burns#34 I had an incredible epiphany this week @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess about how much I actually learn through writing,
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@randall-burns/why-i-write07/12/2017 #34 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar GoddessWell, @Robert Cormack, I read constantly. The library is my fvorite place in the world, except for my little house where I read voraciously. I can't imagine not reading; I have been doing so all my life, supposedly (according to my late mother) I was reading when I was two. Books have always been important to me.
And by reading, I learn! I don't learn from my own stuff; I learn from what others write.06/12/2017 #29 Robert CormackInterestingly, @Harley King, I think it's the Boomer parents, bragging about NOT reading books that rubbed off on their children. I think it's safe to say if you don't have books around the house, children aren't inspired to read. My grandfather, who lived with us until he was 99, had bookshelves full of Dickens, Shakespeare and others (he was a Shakespearean actor). Of course it rubbed off on me. How could all those books not rub off?#2706/12/2017 #27 Harley King#21 @Robert Cormack. I am speechless. Shocked. Sad. I would not go to a doctor who did not study his/her craft. I would not use a plumber who had no knowledge of plumbing. Yet, people think they can write without studying their craft through reading. People think they can paint without acknowledging the masters who have gone before. We all stand on the shoulders of those who have paved the way for our success.
I do not think reading is a generational change. I know Baby Boomers who are proud of the fact that they don't read. There are still many Millennials who love to read.
I also believe this lack of reading begins with the parents. My 40 year old daughter and my 9 year old daughters both love to read. The nine year old has read 15 books in the last 4 months. And I am not talking about picture books. These are 200 and 300 page novels. I read to my children from very young. I believe it starts with the parents. If the parents love to read and encourage it, most children will enjoy reading.
- Producer04/12/2017EQ and Your Emotional Rescue"Don't you know promises were never meant to keep? Just like the night, they dissolve off in sleep."So says the Rolling Stones 1978 song, Emotional Rescue, which is about a man wanting to help a woman who is emotionally confused. Have you ever felt...
Comments05/12/2017 #12 Harvey Lloyd#10 I believe i heard Dave Ramsey state, people will not change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. This is the reason for my comment surrounding offering up a reason. The reason can sometimes reduce the pain of change below that of staying the same.
But all too often i have found that the heart of individuals is desperate to hang onto current methods. The loss would be just too great. In these cases the catalyst will need to be greater than another human can provide.
Great stuff and thanks for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.05/12/2017 #11 Edward Lewellen#8 Hi, my friend, @Lisa Gallagher! I have successfully helped many people with both acute and chronic pain. In the case of chronic pain, what happens is that, even after the body has healed, the brain forgets to stop sending the pain signal to the body part that was injured or hurt. Because it doesn't get the feedback it wants, it increases the pain signal and the sensation becomes even worse. Dr. Ramachandran I mentioned in the article is world-renowned for his work with Phantom Limb. This is where a person whose missing a body part still feels pain as if the body part is still there and he explains this phenomena. Here are some YouTube video testimonials from some of my pain management clients that you'll find interesting and encouraging for your husband: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0p3kTP9fWs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMoZ-KmoFlI&t=96s, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx5zTaAuGW005/12/2017 #10 Edward Lewellen#9 Thanks for your contribution, @Harvey Lloyd! Your insights are right on. People have to desire to change to make transformation a reality. It's like the people whom I help stop smoking; I tell them that their life will change as a result of being a non-smoker. Their current friends will drop off and new friends will come into being due to the fact that the person they used to be has changed. No matter the change (smoker to non-smoker, fearful to confident, angry to peaceful, depressed to happy, etc.) When the person transforms, so does their world.05/12/2017 #9 Harvey LloydI read with great interest as it seem that in these days many suffer from the need of emotional rescue. I enjoy the science behind the process as a novice but the reality is the experience of the loop. My own personal experience in this area has narrowed it down to two basic elements. People need a "reason" to let go and they require a "place" to drop it off. Given these two outcomes they can then reconcile their past with their present.
Within the rescue or what i like to call reframing, the individual is typically unwilling to let go because they realise their entire life is centered around the emotions. Friends, family and social connections have been made with those emotions. To reject the loop would mean all new connections and a new journey with the family.
It sounds as though you have found some answers and i can only say Godspeed in the journey of assisting others with this very precarious need.05/12/2017 #8 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI'd love to hear more about the mind/body connection with regards to chronic pain. My husband deals with it without getting too personal about him. I'm always searching for something beyond medication(s) for him which are taking a tole on his body. Great read and enjoyed the video too, very informative.04/12/2017 #3 Deborah LevineMuch of my exploration of neuroscience and the unconscious mind relates to chronic pain. Creating new neural pathways and quieting painful ones is a growing area of research. We definitely need to understand the emotional involvement in unconscious reactions in these stressful times.
- Producer04/12/2017My Labor of LoveAs some of you know I've been offline for a bit working on a new project. Really it's a labor of love as I feel the message therein can help many of us.I believe that the journey to grow a successful business, relationship or life, starts with the...
Comments06/12/2017 #18 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.so proud of you @Katyan Roach04/12/2017 #3 Harvey LloydJust purchased the book. Hopefully over the holidays i will have a chance to read. I couldn't help but think that our inner monologue tends to go with our eyes. Why humans seem to want to compare things in such a vertical way must be in our DNA. The only vertical climb is the one we need to create with our own inner selves.
Media though is constantly contrasting what we don't have and showing us ways to get it. Somewhat precluding our own self determinations. Its subtle enough to not be intrusive, but the multiples over time tend to drown out our own thoughts.
Great post and looking forward to reading the book.
- Producer01/12/2017"Sex, Power, & Hysteria"NOTE: MY APOLOGIES!! Due to operator error and a very efficient list server, I re-sent last week's blog by Bruce Boesky under a title I was considering for this week's offering. Here is the correct post for this week. As always, you can find all my...
Comments03/12/2017 #4 Harvey LloydGreat read, thanks for the post. The Salem Witch Trials i am sure indicate a "ground zero", someone figured out they could marshal power, get what they want or self serve through utilizing power. The sad part is that someone in greater power saw it, but considered the cost to high to respond or correct the wave of inappropriate actions.
Although i am glad the curtain is being pulled back, i'm sad that the leaders of the time are not being drawn and quartered also. Many new this was going on and did nothing. CEO's who act poorly, financially, when managing their charge are crucified. It somewhat states the hierarchy of human dignity and finance.02/12/2017 #2 Brian McKenzie"The current legal system favors men so much".....waddle that duck over to my #HerToo posting - I will be adding more XX widgets that got off light, free and easy from rape, molestation, assault, murder and everyday grand larceny.
If she weighs the same as that quaker, she's a witch. BURN HER. https://youtu.be/yp_l5ntikaU
- Producer21/11/2017The Leadership ShadowPhoto Credit: http://www.insidehr.com.au/3-key-trends-in-developing-healthier-leadership/We all, at some point, find ourselves “leading”. A time when others have an expectation of you knowing what to do, in moving forward. Some garner this role...
Comments22/11/2017 #18 Jerry FletcherThank you Harvey! I passed this along to my daughter who is now finding herself in a position of leadership as she is the acting CIO of a major part of the U S Military as a civilian. She has gone from "somebody doing the work to the person that has to figure out what to do." That's tough when your direct reports include high ranking officers and you're younger than them.21/11/2017 #15 Harvey Lloyd#14 Thanks for the share and your insights. Its interesting when you walk in the book store or enter a search for leadership books you find so many great wisdom leaders. But sometimes its the simple things that we don't anticipate that grab our attention.
In the moment of leadership we can be great but if don't see the moment we can't lead. I know these things from personal experience and i sense many great leaders would agree it's the small things before they get big are where we need to be. The shadow is but one small piece of a large jigsaw puzzle of wisdom.
Thanks again, @Gert Scholtz21/11/2017 #14 Gert Scholtz@Harvey Lloyd I enjoyed reading and learned from your post Harvey, thank you. Leadership has many elements. One is to meld and align the individual talents and proclivities of those that you lead, with the direction, goals and strategy of the business. You state it well: “Helping those correlate your choices into their present need can often build a strong corporate culture.” I believe it works the other way around too: Helping those correlate their choices into your needs helps build leadership and a corporate culture. Neither is always easy but are of the challenges of leadership. Thanks again for the great post.21/11/2017 #11 Harvey Lloyd#6 In my construction days i referred to this as my footprint. It was large and in charge. In more of a professional setting where every once and while they let me out of the neandertal exhibit.
Some folks enjoy the shadow, i am one of those folks. If you want point you got it, just give a shout when you begin to slow down or i will be bumping into you. I am not much on the front line with customers and the outside world. I have to work at it, it doesn't come naturally.
It's not so much protecting as it is that many folks know their risk points and their gifts. Mine are making the point look good. I can work the point well, for short periods, but its not my natural habitat.
Thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment. I enjoy the thoughts and perspectives.21/11/2017 #10 Harvey Lloyd#4 I almost used the word enlightenment as the light giver. But thought the word was bit over the top. The light is the basic tenants that we see as a goal or shared journey. It's a place out in front we believe to hold the truths of our success. Great question but the light is really the vision of the team, group or person.
Thanks for the share21/11/2017 #8 Harvey Lloyd#3 Great questions and sharing the vision sometimes is difficult. Helping others understand the complexities of a well thought out vision statement can be daunting. The mere engagement from a purpose of serving is usually enough. Sometimes we need a to do a little more. And as your second question indicates we need to release some who want something from the shadow they can't have.
The concept of controlled growth offers those who experience the shadow to take point from time to time. My roll of running up to the crow's nest to take stock of progress and direction allows others to flourish in a safe environment.
In the end our decisions as leaders sometimes are misunderstood. Allowing the person to be heard in a safe environment usually will give insight into what is needed. On like the 2x4 on the shoulder swinging around and hitting people, our shadow crosses their path and we may or may not know we hit them.21/11/2017 #7 Harvey Lloyd#2 Leadership is a complex paradigm but very rewarding. It is typically what we don't see that gets us. The shadow concept is related to a personal start up that i am engaging and attempting to better understand my rather large shadow when i lead. It's not arrogance but rather my bullishness in completing a goal.
Thanks for your thoughts and dropping by.21/11/2017 #6 Randall BurnsGreat Post! @Harvey Lloyd Fascinating concept that I've never thought of or heard of but it makes total sense. Recognition is the first step in dealing with something. I agree with the sentiments that leadership does indeed cast a "shadow" of sorts but it's not necessarily a bad thing, (although it can be if not treated correctly).
A thought that comes to mind reading this is that leadership could be looked at as an umbrella, protecting those that are following.
Very thought provoking, Well done!21/11/2017 #5 Pascal DerrienUnderstanding sharing and explaining requires a form of courage especially when the shadow is confronted with/to adversity, enforcing ignoring applying is easy in the end a leader does not lead, he has been allowed to guide but if the direction is ill fated the followers will withdraw their support and this may take various counter productive forms or scenarios including passive ''mutiny'' ''sabotage'' ''enemy alliance'' , leading is a lonely place where nothing is guaranteed from one day to another, a leader has to be prepared for a lone ride...... my two pragmatic cents :-)21/11/2017 #3 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee"This shadow isn’t something we create, but because we are moving towards the light in front of us, natural shadow appears". This quote from the buzz by @Harvey Lloyd reflects its quality.
Haevey- I wrote a presentation on Complexity Shadoow. Your buzz here adds toons of wisdom to what I wrote.
I wonder from your own and rich experience how best to make followers or surrounders understand the meaning of the shadow.
One more point is some followers would try to eclipse the shadow. This is in addition to the three scenarios you described to dealing with the shadow. I wonder if you would agree.
Great buzz to read21/11/2017 #2 Mohammed A. JawadResponsible leadership is complicated as well as challenging, and its completeness is counted when it concerns just affairs, exemplar control and remarkable outcomes.
Excellent post @Harvey Lloyd View moreResponsible leadership is complicated as well as challenging, and its completeness is counted when it concerns just affairs, exemplar control and remarkable outcomes.
Excellent post @Harvey Lloyd that sheds diverse insights. Worth re-reading for deeper understanding! Close
- Producer21/11/2017A sick day revelation worthy of considerationI am not sure just how wise it is to write a post while your mind is at half mast but here we go anyway. I find it very interesting that the two days I would believe were the worst two days of the month to get sick I was out for the count. As...
Comments22/11/2017 #4 Proma 🐝 NautiyalI like to take on a lot on my plate and keep working till the break down point arrives. I then hope that someone steps in and helps me out at my time of need. But this happens only in my personal life, at home, with my family. At work I ensure I keep adding value to my organisation and soon become irreplaceable. Of course, there is no such thing as irreplaceable in the corporate world, but as long as I can hold on to it, the better. There will be someone like me or better than me, of course, and I keep praying to God to give me the power to keep up with everything going on.
Very nice and thought-provoking buzz, @Greg RolfeGreg Rolfe@Greg Rolfe. I hope you are feeling better now. Wish you a speedy recovery.21/11/2017 #1 Harvey LloydSelf Importance. This is a very creeping delima. I believe down at the photon level we add a few each day that at some point our self importance rises beyond the reality. Of course we don't recognise this until an event such as yours. These are humbling and angering, at the same time, styled experiences.
First i am humbled that i have found myself in the same place again, and angry because i am. This reminds me of the NYC garbage strike a couple of decades ago. No matter how you see sanitation, when it aint present it gets ugly fast.
Thanks for the reminder that in the end we all wind up with a piece of granite and the next person will fill your shoes. The real question is what impression did you make on the ones you passed?
- Producer16/11/2017Nobody Cares about Your Feelings. Deal with itRANT MODE ONMaybe it's my inner Grouchy-Old-Man talking. Maybe my points are silly. Maybe they're profound. Whatever, this is how I feel. Yes, I see the irony in writing a post titled, "Nobody cares about your feelings," that is really my feelings...
Comments26/11/2017 #52 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#40 omg, thats hysterical Paul! I swear I had a neighbor like that. She would report to my other neighbors that she worried about me because I was up so late at night walking around in my pink robe. At least she didn't say naked. Nevermind that she was up late peering in my windows ha ha24/11/2017 #50 FancyJ LondonGreat Post! Vent Paul, VENT!!!
Some people just have that gift of self affliction wedging things between their butt cheeks enough to cause great irritation for everyone they come in contact with, as they point blame at someone else for putting it there in the first place. (rolling my eyes around)19/11/2017 #47 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsLMAO Paul, love it when they push Paul to rant!
You were so right to enter that conversation. Chick 2 had issues. Many many many long term relationships have occurred between co-workers, nothing wrong with that! The only times it pissed me off was when married men came on to me, but I never ran to HR, I figured if it got too bad I'd use my knee in strategic spots or call their damn wife and ask her to stop her husband from making my life hell.
Bet you look adorable with a beard! :-) Oh wait...Am I sexually harassing you with that statement?
Speaking of which, let's turn this around; As a single woman for the majority of my life I'm sick and tired of men AND women assuming my friendliness is a come-on and I'm out to steal someone else's man. I have been publicly called out (in church for christ's sake) for talking to the father of my daughter's best friend, about our children!!!. Excuse me; I don't want you ugly ass husband!
It needed to be said Paul and you did so very very well!! As someone who has been harassed but also dated colleagues; I applaud you! Chick #1 apparently has problems dealing with uncomfortable social situations...Like no one has ever before in the history of man has ever had to deal with a bit of awkwardness. PaLEASE!
Childish Girl needs to grow up and Get the F*** over it, the poor guy's ego took a bruising with the turn down and now the B**** was advising to turn him into HR...Really17/11/2017 #42 Jerry FletcherPaul, Thank you! You made my day. Although there was a laugh in there I can say that there is more than a grain of truth on what the world has come to. As a speaker who can get passionate about Networking and Brand and Trust Based business development I often warn audiences that, "I've been told by some folks that I'm not socially correct. Some of what I have to say may offend some of you. But it will be the truth as I see it. If I piss you off, so be it. If I make some of you laugh with my observations that is okay by me. No matter what reaction you have you'll come out of here better off if you own your feelings. Ain't it great to get to the age where you really don't give damn what others think of you!17/11/2017 #41 Robert CormackAh, well, @Kevin Pashuk, I had a sneaking suspicion nobody was thinking about me at all when I was constantly asked who I was and why was I hanging around the halls. Once they discovered I'd been working there 3 years, I ceased being a topic of conversation entirely—until it was decided I could be bluffing. When they found out I wasn't bluffing, I ceased being a topic of conversation entirely because I was boring. I've since told everyone I'm bluffing.#3817/11/2017 #40 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#36 LOL, that reminds of the old joke about a woman who called the police because her male neighbor walked around in the nude.
When the Cops came, all they saw was a waist-up view. When questioned, the woman answered, "Yes, but if you stand on the kitchen counter, lean out holding the light fixture for balance, while holding this mirror over your head, you can see his junk!"17/11/2017 #36 Wayne Yoshida#32 #33 -- This is a very touchy area in our post Anita Hill era. Many years ago, three of us guys in the sales dept were called into HR one day. We were being accused for harassment because of our "locker room" jokes and stories. The accuser was in a cubicle adjacent to mine.
We immediately changed our location for these discussions. . . . and the accuser **followed** us and reported us again, saying she could still hear our stories and jokes.
I caught her one day standing on her chair so she could eavesdrop. . . and then reported her to HR. All charges in our files were removed. She was sent to therapy and anger management sessions.
- Producer15/11/2017Reflections of a mirrorDid it ever occur to you how you made that choice of ‘A’ over ‘B’ and how you had to live with the consequences of your choice? The choice was made in the very front of your brain, the pre-frontal cortex (PFC), which sits just under your...
Comments29/11/2017 #28 Praveen Raj GullepalliInsightful and fascinating as always dear Doc!
Conditioning is what conditions our choice. And we are being subjected to it all the time. You are like Neo asking us to think out-of-the-Matrix ;)
I paused when you said Pause. Meditation is all about that. To stop the chatter for a moment...a Zen moment in which it is possible to grasp something more holistic and ego-less. A moment that transcends Choice and noise.23/11/2017 #26 Bernard PoulinThat whack we encounter may be the reason why some of us see ourselves as the lions we wish we could be rather than the kittens that we are. . . why the wondrousness of virtual reality dominates our perceptions more than the "ugh!" reality we feel we are fated to endure and why fake news molds and causes turmoil to our action/reaction reflexes while in turn increasingly causing stress in the areas of not only our living as individuals but more fundamentally our existence as a cohesive collective. None of us, regardless of our "innards", actually live in the vacuums we are increasingly stuffing ourselves into. Though the science of neural connectivity and the power of its "mechanics"is vital to our survival. How we perceive and function in it all is even more vital. :)17/11/2017 #21 Ken BoddieI just love your 'brain mechanics for non-medics', Ian. I am a wiser man yet again, after reading your enlightening and Particularly Functional Composition (PFC). 💡
So, next time the local grammar school's Parents and Friends Committee (PFC) ask me to volunteer for a task that puts me outside my comfort zone, or my eco-electrician suggests that I need a Power Factor Correction (PFC) which threatens to put my wallet outside its comfort zone, or I am told by a US secret service Private First Class (PFC) to clear the way for one of his nation's dignitaries visiting Oz, hence threatening to move my body away from its rightful resting zone, I'll tell them all to let me be, as I'm incapable of making an unbiased decision, thanks to my own PFC. I'll then blame it all on Rupert Murdoch and Michael Bloomberg. 🤥17/11/2017 #20 Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBeeDear @Ian Weinberg great article sharing the neuroscience science of choice and the power of the pause. Your medical and scientific knowledge supports my language bed experience. I shared the difference the pause makes in one of my articles. thanks For sharing your knowledge.
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@deb-lange/press-pause-and-sense-a-moment-in-a-conversation16/11/2017 #17 Gert Scholtz@Ian Weinberg Fascinating article Ian! Especially how we sometimes make choices and decisions prior to actual awareness of the choice being made. So much more reason to pause and eliminate the trio of impediments: generalization, deletion and distortion. The pause is often overridden or disturbed at least, by automated responses, inherent cognitive biases, emotional triggers, and perceived time pressure - to name a few. If we can "mind the gap" more and in a more accentuated way - then as you say "Neutralizing deletion and distortion and its negative consequences requires commitment to authenticity no matter what the price. Additionally therefore, a generous helping of courage is also necessary." Once again, a very intriguing post Ian - thank you.16/11/2017 #13 Cyndi wilkins"Uttering certain emotive words and carrying out specific actions can trigger the appropriate neuronal integrations within us. Hence the positive power of enhanced laughter, powerful phrases and mantra’s and driven motor activity."
This is the root composition of mind/body medicine... By offsetting negatively charged energy with regular practice of positively charged reinforcement techniques, we significantly influence the health of our inner (psychological) and outer (physiological) worlds and our experiences of them.15/11/2017 #12 Sara JacoboviciAnother classic @Ian Weinberg post. You make me think and you put me to work. My response needs to be be written "Outside the comment box." Thanks for the post and for the discussion it generated. My circuits must be working well as I made a good choice in reading this post.
- Producer15/11/2017Going Southern - Regional DiversityWe often think of diversity as race, ethnicity, gender, and religion. Sometimes we add generational diversity, but rarely do add our diverse geography. Yet, our regional differences account for much of the controversies, culture clashes, and...
Comments17/11/2017 #19 Deborah Levine#17 Yes, @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher our history is full of immigrant stories that need to be told and retold. I didn't know about the Finnish contribution in Ohio - amazing. I wonder where the laborers went when they left Ashtabula. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could track down some of their descendants!17/11/2017 #17 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI love how descriptive your video is @Deborah Levine. Enjoyed learning of your own journey from Bermuda to the South and why you chose that region. I grew up in Ashtabula, Ohio, a large port City long ago. We had many Finnish and Italian settlers who lived among each other within neighborhoods.
"As early as 1872 one of the Finnish section gangs had been at work in Ashtabula Harbor laying track for the Ashtabula, Youngstown, and Pittsburgh Railroad.6 This labor crew was composed of twenty-five men and a female cook; among their number were Andrew Bloom and Kalle Kotka. The latter, a lad of about twenty, was killed by a train in the gravel pit of the A. Y. & P. Railroad on November 8, 1872, and thus became the first Finn to find his final resting place in Ashtabula.7 The Finnish laborers remained in the Harbor for only a short time but their presence did evoke the following comment from the Ashtabula Telegraph:" - http://www.genealogia.fi/emi/art/article222e.htm Interesting article!
Thank you for sharing this, I will now share it with others :)17/11/2017 #16 Brook Massey#11 @Deborah Levine, in general, I do believe that the two cultures are distinct. Genetically, many Appalachian folk are of poor Scottish or Ulster-Scot descent. Historically, in the Civil War, obviously, most southern residents sided with the south. While, most Appalachian residents sided with the north: West Virginia splitting from Virginia and NE Tennessee trying to breakaway from Tennessee.16/11/2017 #12 Deborah Levine#10 Yes, @David B. Grinberg, today's overlap of demographics, history, and geography is a vital part of understanding what is happening not only in a region but in national shifts both culturally and politically. I make the combination and confluence a basic element of my diversity training. How can I not?16/11/2017 #11 Deborah LevineThanks for the feedback @Brook Massey#9 Appalachian culture is indeed one-of-a-kind. I write about that more in the book, Going Southern. Years ago, when I was studying Appalachia in my urban planning masters, there was a claim that Appalachians are distinct not only in their culture but are a distinct DNA group. Would you agree?16/11/2017 #10 David B. GrinbergNice blogging buzz, Deborah. I also like the video. I think geographic diversity overlaps with demographic diversity, a phenomenon dating back to the Civil War. However, this has become more pronounced today with Hispanics/Latinos and Asians being the fastest growing populations in the USA. In fact, any one group could largely be concentrated in a specific region. Thus, your thesis makes perfect sense!16/11/2017 #9 Brook Massey@Deborah Levine, most of my life has been spent in the hills of Kentucky. I did live a while in Alabama, though. The Appalachian culture of much of Kentucky, is a little different from Southern. You describe our Alabama experience perfectly. Appalachia is a less genteel, a little rougher. People talk fast and move slow.15/11/2017 #1 Harvey LloydWow, can i say wow. For a "come here" as i have heard the label stated in southern states, meaning you ain't from here, with politeness, you really hit some highlights of southern culture. Southern Pride is something that is evolving but hasn't gone anywhere. We take God and country very seriously, not always correctly but very seriously. I added the read to the list. Thanks.
Ps. i would have loved to have seen the group when you played the music.
- Producer15/11/2017Performance AnxietyPicture Credit: https://yourmusiclessons.com/blog/performance-anxiety/I first came across this word in conjunction with teaching special education students. Several studies have mentioned that once a student loses pace with their peers, they can...
Comments20/11/2017 #24 Harvey Lloyd#23Thanks for the share. In comprehension it is easy. In execution is easier to stick your hand in a fire 🔥
A simple yet effective way is to choose a purpose/value and then say it before each interaction This will help with habit formation After habit forms we can then begin skill development around the habit
Never easy though. I find myself biting my tongue more often these days.20/11/2017 #23 Lisa VanderburgI should practice what you preach here @Harvey Lloyd, 'We should reject any purpose that is given to us until we have had the opportunity to be introspective about changing our declared purpose.', for in truth I have no control.
This performance anxiety; it an overload I know well, but only you could explain the way out of it. If I read you right, kick over the scales & get purposeful by not allowing mind-numbing hesitation any credence.
Fabulous read!16/11/2017 #19 Cyndi wilkins"#12 Words and meaning. @Cyndi wilkins your comments are straight on point. But what i found interesting is i am expressing the same thing with just different words. It brings to light one of the center pieces of the discussion. We attach alternate meanings to words based on our experiences and narrative."
Exactly @Harvey Lloyd...All roads lead to the same place;-)16/11/2017 #18 Harvey Lloyd#14 @Ian Weinberg i am always grateful for your stopping by. Your magic of insight is so helpful as we look at the issues of social disparities. My thought here is @Cyndi wilkins is showing us the horizon of change while you are displaying the fundamentals of process in action. My attempt here is to add language that would point to practical methods of the change process. A framework of thought that could possibly lead to a higher level of self awareness.
My, hope as always, i gave someone pause during the cycles of life.
(Just some general feedback your posts and the PDF you sent has really helped a neighbor who is dealing with a family member with severe depression. It has helped him better understand the process. Thanks.)16/11/2017 #17 Harvey Lloyd#15 @Gert Scholtz again thanks for the share and the comment. Character is almost stone. It is hard to chisel and change the shape. I typically reject anyone who has any statements of quick fixes. But our need for instant gratification to the question at hand can lead us to spending lots of money for a quick fix.
When talking with managers over the years concerning troubled employees i ask the question, is this a skill issue or a character issue. If its a skill deficit that causing the troubling behaviour that's our fault and we need to review our training/hiring practices.
If it is character, and i am using this word squarely within the purpose paradigm, my follow up question is how long are you willing to walk on the journey to change the character/purpose? If the manager is unwilling to invest in the individual then we need to release them to a job that their character better suites.
Character can display our purpose and believe it or not when we sense uneasiness, we are actaully sensing a purpose that is incongruent with our own.
Thanks for the comment and thoughts16/11/2017 #16 Harvey Lloyd#12 Words and meaning. @Cyndi wilkins your comments are straight on point. But what i found interesting is i am expressing the same thing with just different words. It brings to light one of the center pieces of the discussion. We attach alternate meanings to words based on our experiences and narrative.
@Pamela 🐝 Williams commented that the word success is a gateway to performance anxiety. I couldn't agree more, specifically as we read or view various presentations that make us feel like idiots because we haven't brought the $4,000 package to be great.
In your comment i converted your words into my own and they fit the narrative of the post. Words are for us to define. WIthin purpose we must also define our own success. Although i admire the great leaders of success in today's world i do not measure success the way they do, i am not them, i didn't walk their journey. I also reject their power in assisting me in my own success. I define what success is, not the power of someone else. I enjoy reading their thoughts and their wisdom. But it all has to fold into my own paradigm of success.
Thanks for your comment and your passion in healing our social wounds.16/11/2017 #15 Gert Scholtz@Harvey Lloyd There is much food for thought in your article Harvey - thank you for posting. One part that struck me is where you mention that a reworking of the self-narrative, ie purpose, is a long process over many months, which at first may even feel mechanical and disconnected. This is contrary to the more popular (and I believe incorrect) notion of a sudden "unleashing" of true potential and purpose - if only the circumstances allow for it. Great thoughts in your article about the nature, origin and elimination of performance anxiety. Thanks again.16/11/2017 #14 Ian WeinbergGreat post @Harvey Lloyd Thanks for the mention. At a neurophysiological level performance anxiety reflects a strong fear of failure. This amygdala generated mind state results in excessive adrenaline andcortisol production which compromises our PFC in terms of reasoning and choice making. Poses challenges to transcending this negative space which in itself perpetuates a negative feedback cycle (reasoning is a powerful antidote to excessive amygdala activity. The other antidote is gratification through reward.)15/11/2017 #12 Cyndi wilkinsGreat buzz @Harvey Lloyd...The problem is we have become disconnected from our own authentic power by the smoke and mirror effect of the 'brand illusion'...whose sole purpose is the accumulation of power and money. That is not authentic power...that is power as external.
If we are able to consciously align ourselves with the personality trait that is present for us in any decision making process...we are able to identify the trigger that sent a specific energy running through our system in the first place...by energy I am referring to emotion, (which is energy in motion) and support and nourish it's expression in order to fulfill whatever the purpose. For most of us it goes back to childhood conditioning.
The purpose may be a side of self brought to your awareness in need of healing...a piece of self that lives in fear for example is disempowered...easily manipulated by external forces with the promise of watching out for our best interests. We are bombarded by the energies of fear, anger, jealousy on a daily basis via the media...nothing short of psychological warfare quite frankly...That is why we are so easily duped.
When we become consciously aware of our different sides of self we are able to foresee the consequences of allowing for each expression without having to 'live' them if the outcome is not in our best interest. So we recreate our lives when we realize for example that anger is the result of a side of us in fear...When we understand that about ourselves, we able better able to understand that about others and not be so quick to judge or strike out in vengeance...15/11/2017 #9 Harvey Lloyd#8 You have made an assumption that places you on the scale. Success can mean what you want it to. Success is personal within your purpose.
Secondarily you have also added to the scale your interpretation of purpose. Your purpose is yours, mine is mine. Neither is relevant to anyone else.
By defining your purpose as you have with your comment, then do that, don't let other thoughts or interpretation waver your from that purpose.
Your comment in light of the post is the exact position i refer. Purpose and success have become something that you balance within a scale. No need, it's yours and you should gage your life through that lens.
Ps. I love your purpose, it's a great statement about you.15/11/2017 #8 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsHarvey, you had me until the end😊 And I say that because of the "performance anxiety that the word "success" instantly brings to mind. I'll say it; I'm sick to death of the word. What about 'living' , just living? No purpose to it but to be. Why do I have to have a purpose? Does that make me more relevant? Aren't I looking in someone else's mirror then. We have but a short time on this earth and we're so busy being relevant, finding our purpose. My job purpose is to feed and cloth me. My life purpose is to breath, see, hear, touch, and smell until I can't. That's it, that's all. I like my job because I enjoy the feelings it gives me when I solve a problem; it's not my purpose, I'm just living and being me. I'd aid it a post once; my purpose is me, to live the life I've been given and not let words like 'success' fence me in because it opens the door to performance anxiety15/11/2017 #7 Randall BurnsGreat post @Harvey Lloyd The professional environments I was brought up in taught me that, "There will always be people ahead of me, (either knowledge, talent, ability, age, whatever), and there will always be people behind me". No one is perfect and everyone has their own particular strong points, or are better suited for some particular niches than others. The kitchen is a unique environment in that it is multi-faceted allowing for a diversity of skills to excel
learning this perspective is difficult and teaching/mentoring this perspective to others can be very difficult, a big aspect is ego and much of performance anxiety can be traced back to that. I discuss this in my article about "Stress in the Kitchen" which I believe that you read Harvey. I also refer to "Fear" which is another contributing factor.
- Producer09/11/2017Soliloquy - Talking to the MirrorYour eyes seem to speak a thousand words that I understand just fine, Or do I? For it maybe my own thoughts, lost and sublime. Gone are the days when we used to be scared of the world outside, It's time for us to step out and lose ourselves in this...
Comments14/11/2017 #19 Cyndi wilkins#18 Apparently, so did I :-) Especially this...
"It is time for you to accept everything and be happy the way you are,
'Cause there's nothing more soothing than the peace you get when your soul is no more at war."
Profound indeed @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal View more#18 Apparently, so did I :-) Especially this...
"It is time for you to accept everything and be happy the way you are,
'Cause there's nothing more soothing than the peace you get when your soul is no more at war."
Profound indeed @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal...Have a great day! Close12/11/2017 #16 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorI'm glad you shared this beautiful piece, @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal. Your poem reflects your inner self discussing your own feelings with your inner self. The fact that you brought your poem back to life tells me your discussion was worthwhile.10/11/2017 #11 Proma 🐝 Nautiyal#5 So beautifully expressed, @Harvey Lloyd. Those are the very thoughts that ran through my mind. We often suppress our fears and feelings as a way to keep at bay what the expression of the same might bring upon us. But this only pushes us farther from who we really are. And that is a rather painful feeling.
Thank you for your comment and share!09/11/2017 #5 Harvey LloydGreat thoughts as always. The mirror is a place of horror to be avoided or a place that reveals wisdom. The soul is a something we can only see our own, we can guess at others with their signals they send, but we can't know.
If we never look upon the mirror to see who we are and grow that wisdom of self awareness we can never know another. If we do not appear before the mirror then those on the outside will reflect what they want us to reflect.
Thanks for the words, they inspire.
- Producer31/10/2017Leadership by OsmosisYou've seen it before...the young man or woman who is beginning their career and they are the star performer where they work. It could be at Ernst and Young, Lockheed-Martin, Target, or McDonald's; you see the drive and ambition in their eyes, the...
Comments01/11/2017 #6 Harvey Lloyd#5 Agreed. My elements are probably a bit different than your own. Small business creates an environment that needs leadership yet can't pay the top educational crowd wages. So my comments are based upon this foundation. At your level i would probably go ape you know what.
We do hire folks who have completed four year degrees and some master's level degrees in education. We have had a few that were educated in school administration. My favorite part to watch was when they set expectations with the team like sergeants in the army they were dismayed at the limited results. They would ask for insight.
But when given they acted as though i had insulted them when discussing human nature and how to communicate. In essence they showed me their degree and experience. I learned a lot about myself and others through the process.01/11/2017 #3 Harvey LloydThis is excellent insight into the transition from employee-manager-leader. What i find with most newly promoted leaders is their inability to recognise that others also have a concept of existence, just like they do.
Many new manager/leaders i discussed progress with felt that their charge were undermining them as they projected their own image upon the team. Although i appreciate the unique brand concept, i also recognise that most leadership issues are because of the concept.
My first thought is you have to recognise them as unique. New manager/leaders tend to see the team as homogeneous in purpose, social and concept. Your osmosis point is correct in that the newly minted manager/leader thinks by having the title they gain a direct wifi connection to their charge with one way communications.
Then the feedback loop happens. The fun begins.
- Producer29/10/2017Preserving the Human TouchYears ago my mentor offered some pearls of wisdom to me, which I still adhere to today. He said, "You must touch their heart before asking for their hand." This passage both resonates with me personally and influences my daily interactions. To...
Comments29/10/2017 #4 Harvey LloydI would submit that the small/simple things are only labeled this when comparing material things. When we sum ourselves as human we see that the small things, TOUCH, are all of sudden very big.
What a great thought for the day. Thanks for your taking the time to remind of us our very humble existance in the face of overwhelming pace of life.
The picture was very challenging, but appropriate for your thoughts.29/10/2017 #2 Lada 🏡 PrkicWhat important topic, Farshad. And illustrated by a somewhat disturbing image. "Today's methods of communication were never meant to replace or even substitute adding value, building relationships, and properly communicating with one other." I couldn't agree more. Thanks for these important life reminders.
- Producer29/10/2017Interdependence and MetaphorsIf we draw our history paths and what happened to us we shall find that many turning effects started from small events that caused a diversion of our paths. Small things we do today may be influential over time in reshaping our lives. These...
Comments01/11/2017 #61 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeThre are two extremes dear @Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA. One extreme is no planning at all. The other is very strict and rigig planning. In between there is flexible plan ing or adaptive planning. In between is not the mid point between the two extremes. It depends, as you mentioned, on many factors such as our knowledge and experience as well as the type of project we work on. I dare also add our level of intuition. So, I agree with your comment and the need to have adaptive planning or what you termed loose planning.
Thank you also for your consideration of the fish metaphor. It helps in understanding the value of loose planning.01/11/2017 #60 Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMARegarding the future, while we can't predict it, we should certainly not let that deter us from planning; albeit loosely. Again, while none of us can predict anything except 'death and taxes', with age and experience and the fact that most of us have discovered life can regularly present us with unique scenarios which can, as they say, 'put a crimp in our style', I believe - to a point - we can predict some things simply based upon our range of experience and knowledge. Plus we, hopefully, learn to have a back plan to our #1 plan. And, P.S. I loved the fish post; it was the perfect metaphor.31/10/2017 #59 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#58 thank you again dear @Susan 🐝 Botello. I agree completely with you. You remind me of farmers who decide to plant a crop because weather expectations will be good for selected plants. The farmer does his best. Suddenly the weather turns against all expectations. The farmer loses his crop. Yes life with fulfilled expectations shall be dull. On the other hand it is always a risk. We have to accept realities. In the case of the farmer he would be better off to vary his crops so that he does not lose all his crops.
But the wind can not read.
But I can read your wisdom.31/10/2017 #58 Susan 🐝 Botello#57 @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I have made the mistake of thinking something was simple when it was actually complex and thinking something was complicated when in actuality was simple. The outcome is not in our control. I do my best to consider all within my power with each step. It's doing the best I can--that is all I can do, after all. Sometimes, I must wait for factors to realize themselves before me before I can take action and other times I feel I must take action expediently. It obviously depends on the situation. I agree with you and my expectations turn out unexpected outcomes. I think that is what can make it a bit of an adventure along the way. If we have control and know everything then life would be a bit dull. At least that is how I think. Congratulations on the views on LinkedIn!31/10/2017 #57 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#56@Susan 🐝 Botello- feel the warmth of your comment. Whatever decision we make it is mostly a guess with varging degrees of certainty. Also, same decision shall have different consequences depending on the issue we are considering. If the system or issue is complex. Same decision will have different results than if it was simple or complicated. In complex system a decision is a trial and is subject to error and this is the way for us to learn and adapt.
I am disussing this issue in my next buzz.
For the first time a buzz of mine has more views on LI than beBee. In fact more than double. On LI it has so far more than 4120 views. Did I know or expect ir? Surely not. Just one example of when to publish is a guess. That is why I care now to write a buzz hoping the readers will find it useful. Apart from this I have nlo control. So I publish regardless of the possible number of views. This is one example of no matter what how cautious we are we have no control on the outcome. Just enjoy the moment by reading great comments such as yours.31/10/2017 #56 Susan 🐝 BotelloLove your article @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. I tell myself 'Watch your step' along the path and course of life where everything is connected. I take care in decisions I make and work on being better at it, and I have a ways to go. Sometimes it takes compassion to see what our eyes cannot see and vision to imagine where the steps we make can lead others who may follow and cross our path. You did it again, Ali...you made me think deeply. You are a very talented writer. Thank you for sharing this great article!31/10/2017 #55 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#54 @Cyndi wilkins- yes the integrity of balance in our minds and bodies is amazjing. Didtort the balance in one and the whole system reacts. Your example of homeostasis is an example of stabilizing feedback. There are also types of reinforcing feedback. Our bodies have both types.
You have a great point in referring the damage we have in our bodies and the damage we cause to the environment. Yes and nature is our tutor. It has the experience to how to react best to such situations. We can see this in an innured tree and how the tree rescts to such damage. You open my mind to n÷w possibilities.30/10/2017 #54 Cyndi wilkinsInteresting you should use the metaphor of the 'root system' to describe the network of all living things being interdependent...as maintaining a healthy root system is dependent on integration and proper balance of all it's functioning parts, so too are we humans our own bodily gardeners cultivating good health through the process of homeostasis...
If areas of our body and/or mind are repeatedly assaulted with injury or neglect, there will be a dying off in that area of the system sending off a signal to the entire network of an imbalance in need of assistance to help restore proper flow to the affected branch...a process responsible for the development of chronic disease if left unattended.
Maintaining the health of the body has become even more daunting as we are living on a planet with an unhealthy ecosystem caused by our own overuse of pesticides and chemicals that have created a dysfunction in the natural order of things...Mother Nature will most assuredly survive...and if we begin to pay more attention to helping to mend the damage done...inside and out...perhaps we will too.30/10/2017 #52 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#51 @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal the paradox in the beauty of your comment is that it is realistic and emotional at the same time. I refer back to the comments of @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador and @John Rylance. It is our perception. Yes we involve our hearts in making decisions. But with the healthy perception we may influence our hearts.
We have no ability to predict the future or control it. However we may increase the probability of it being delightful by thinking and feeling positively today. This way we may attract the future to us.30/10/2017 #51 Proma 🐝 NautiyalI completely agree, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. It makes a lot of sense to focus on the present to bring out the best in us instead of worrying about the future. One way I perceive it at least try to perceive things is that if there is something worrisome (probably) lying in the future, then why worry now and lose the chances of being happy in the present moments.
However, being human, it is an extremely difficult task to thing so sensibly, all the time. After all, the heart ends up making most of the decisions, most of the time. So, in this case, I have learnt a second thing. Only think of positive things, what we think we can make.ot happen. Positivity never goes unanswered. So if we are happy all the time, if we find silver lining in everything, life and God will both bless us for being so grateful.30/10/2017 #49 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#48 change of perception has two directions @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. The changes its perception towards us and we change our own perception. No matter what it is our perception that change us mostly. In the case of the child at school as discussed by @John Rylance the perception towards him may feedback to the perception of the child to the world or it may not to a great extent. Surely a child is still developing and he is not immune to the perception of the world towards him. He might be victimized. But at the end of the day I agree with you Franci it is our perception is the determining factor.
Do you agree?30/10/2017 #48 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador#44 The way we perceive has everything to do with everything, IMO. And perhaps, our perception is not correct and then maybe it is. How we perceive a situation won't change the situation but we can change how we think about the situation. Like you said @John Rylance, seeing something in a new light.
How we change our own perception is up to us, which is a thought-provoking subject, in itself. Our friend, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, has touched on this in many of his posts. Here is one of his quotes that stands out for me: " It is unfortunate that we make a simple life so complex and still hope that our plans would work. We aren't trying to shoot a bird while flying; more we are making the bird fly chaotically and still hope for shooting the bird."
Ali Anani, PhD30/10/2017 #46 John RylanceI think I should have said perception rather than perspective. A possible answer to your question is seeing someone in a different environment.
When I worked with children experiencing behaviour problems often if we moved the child to a different school (afresh start) they would improve their behaviour, while in our opinion remaining the same child, what changed was the perception of them by those around them. We called becoming the child they wanted to be rather than the one they have become. #45
- Producer19/01/2017Lines in the Sand: Part IILast night in a hospital room with my father, while he slept, my grown and very smart daughter and I somehow embarked on a discussion about things coming up and looming in our future. The focus was on my father, but as we watched him sleep she...
Comments26/10/2017 #20 Harvey LloydWe share a common point of emotion. The parties to an issue are irrelevant, the goal or question is the challenge. Once we leave the question and enter the polarized views of opposition, the question is lost.
I have in many meetings much to many people's chagrin let them know very quickly we will stay focused on the question without introduction of polarized world views.
Your thoughts on the lines were mesmerising. When we consider the many crossed paths and intersections that brought us to a moment it is humbling. My fear is that to have this humbling experience we must experience some very challenging life issues. We should be able to see the lines and make intersections happen as a matter of service and willingness to serve.
You are an awesome son and i am sure a great father. Your daughter is fortunate. Even if she calls you sqauch.31/05/2017 #19 Joel Anderson#18 Thanks Mark. And a fine job you do indeed.
“The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.”
“Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.”
--Betty M. Nelson
When I graduated from High School, he gifted me a book, "I Dare You" By WILLIAM H. DANFORTH (1870-1956). I think that he epitomized the daring soul that Danforth challenged to be different in the series of dares from within that book. He did uplifting things in taking each and every one of his steps. He laid the foundation for me to want to follow him and, yes, make a difference.
"It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."
--Bette Midler: Wind Beneath My Wings31/05/2017 #18 Mark AndersonOne of the things I've been trying to do is make sure that some of the lines you've described don't become erased, covered over, or forgotten. Your Dad was so good at connecting those lines, making sure they tied us together rather than divided the people so lucky to have been touched by his steps.05/03/2017 #16 Sara JacoboviciOne line that is obvious here @Joel Anderson is the one straight from the heart! The lines of connection that you describe, from both time and place, verbal and nonverbal, are as you say; "straight and narrow, squiggly, or dotted focused in one direction or left to meander down paths well or less travelled." The connections don't just form lines, but patterns and imprints. What is significant is that, nothing can be formed if no connection exists; between individuals, community, nature, our environment. In your words, connections made through lines that "converge, rather than diverge".21/01/2017 #14 Gerald HechtSome lines aren't even relevant...in the end who among us would waste an iota of our precious time and energy (best not wasted...all of our lives, all of our loved ones lives...all over --in the blink of an eye) on the political views of "The Federalists" vs. "The Whigs"?
I don't mean to be obtuse or provincial...FWIW...it's a reference to the ghost of a line in the sand...in which existed in the ghost of a place called "America"; neither of which exist. They are Dead. No sand. No line. Remains.21/01/2017 #12 Joel Anderson#5 @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher Sorry, was trying to write, read and respond on my phone and in between meetings and other distractions that come with the work day. I am truly thankful for your comments and thoughts on this particular piece. Amazing how simple "Moments:Snap shots in time" can become become so profound.
- Producer31/12/2016Drowning in snake oilThey’re everywhere. At the office and at the club, in all the media and even at your place of worship – the relentless pitch of the ‘experts’! Economists, coaches, wellness therapists and the like, ensnaring you and manipulating you and...
Comments26/10/2017 #36 Claire L Cardwell@Ian Weinberg - I am sorry I missed this piece the first time around! The majority of these 'life style' guru - neo-neuro-brain experts are really good at something - marketing and taking our cash - or at least our time when we watch their sales videos in the hope of learning something new! I used to work in sales and these guys are seriously, really, really good at their game...
I find myself caught up in the "I have spoken to my partners and they were horrified that I wanted to give my podcast video viewers a 40% discount, one time only offer." and then the whole bit about you have 10 minutes to sign up otherwise your world is going to end. That's on top of the spiel about if you sign up you get all these extra bonuses valued at $1 Million dollars etc. etc.
I sometimes wish I could carry over some of their techniques to land new Architecture Clients.... The abundance gurus are the worst, "do this and you will have a lifestyle like mine."... hmmm - maybe I should become a lifestyle neo-neuro-brain expert too!07/10/2017 #33 Cyndi wilkins#26 I hope you followed through with legal action in this case @Ian Weinberg...We all need to be mindful of the wolf in sheep's clothing...Unfortunately, manipulation and misrepresentation is and all too common business practice...Wrap it up in pretty ribbons and bows and you can sell sand to the Arabs...06/01/2017 #32 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorInteresting subject, Ian. There are too many Marys around and like you say, "Never to be scrutinized nor challenged unless they harm or kill someone". And your experience where the BIG NAME coach added credentials to his name that weren't warranted is inexcusable. People who can't make it on their own and hang on the coattails of those that are successful are a menace. Others that are naive or don't do their research get caught up in a maze of falsities thus causing unnecessary suffering. I agree, we have a real problem.02/01/2017 #31 Ian Weinberg#30 No sweat @Gerald Hecht I left a slow-burning virus in the stolen IP. As the fiend connects the words together in the said sequence, a reversed Hebb process occurs generating uncontrollable Tau strands and the rest. And yes I know it wasn't you - you were stuck in the stern!01/01/2017 #27 Zacharias 🐝 VoulgarisIndeed, most of these "wellness specialists" are really selling hot air and should be regulated somehow. However, this does not mean that everyone who offers some holistic alternative to conventional healing methods, particularly if they have studied something along these lines, are full of it too. I've been to alternative healers from time to time and if you spend some time doing some research on them, you can find some very interesting people who know what they are doing. So far, I've yet to encounter someone with a degree in philosophy though :-)01/01/2017 #26 Ian WeinbergI thought it appropriate to add this comment as a kind of post-script. The content of this article of mine represents a real issue for me. It is not simply a subject of potential interest. I'm currently seriously considering legal action against a BIG NAME coach who attended my neuromodulation accreditation course and who shortly thereafter added 'Neuroscientist' to his credentials and subtly wove in components of my application into his workshops (copyrighted IP). He has no neuro or psychology qualifications. There are 2 other real 'bad eggs' which may require 'naming and shaming'. We have a real problem and I'm initiating the response!31/12/2016 #23 Alexa SteeleExcellent piece, @Ian Weinberg. "Coaching" when constrained to what @Harvey Lloyd refers to as "mentoring" can be highly beneficial. But when unqualified salespeople start promoting themselves as mentor, priest, therapist, dietician and all around guru, they contort coaching into something dangerous. I just walked away from a potential marketing project because I doubted the validity of the underlying "program." (The inventor used the phrase "I'm not a psychologist, but..." Big red flag.)31/12/2016 #22 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorYou nailed it with this post, @Ian Weinberg. There are too many cons wanting to get on the bandwagon only to benefit themselves. All the more reason for those of us that are able to help those that fall victim to the con artists.
Unfortunately, we can't always recognize the culprits because they slither around spreading their evil ways, while garbed in a fake facade such as the FDA.
We have to sharpen our senses and stay strong. Have a prosperous 2017!31/12/2016 #21 Bernard PoulinWe live in a world which awards "being there", participating but never losing since everyone is a winner. . . Being rather than doing is the mantra. Titles are worthless and stature means nothing (even in the wellness arena) since we are all equal whether we've paid our dues or not - i.e. : earned a degree and apprenticed and achieved or not. Nothing really matters since whatever it is we want to be we "are" - just cause we say so.And as you put it Ian, unless we kill someone in the process. . . all's well. And then we wonder why we are all frightened by a boogeyman behind every bush and our democracies are past their best before dates. . . .31/12/2016 #17 Phil FriedmanA rare doff of my cap to you here, Ian. You have hit the snake right on the head. On social media in general, and on beBee in particular, it takes cojones to say what you have said here... for the cult of positivity (as well as Insipidipity) prevails and often rises, fangs bared, to defend itself. Keep the faith. And keep smacking the snake. Perhaps one day, you will sever its head. My best to you and yours for the New Year. Following and sharing. Cheers!
- Producer25/10/2017Brain drainThey’re everywhere. Shake the tree and a dozen or so will fall out. Everyone’s a neuroscientist! But let’s not get too pre-occupied with their credentials. I have afterall dealt with this in some detail in a previous article at...
Comments26/10/2017 #37 Cyndi wilkins"Recognition by peers"...yes, well the old 'peer reviewed studies... that certainly sums up professionalism doesn't it?? It really is a tussel between two brain centres isn't it? One seeking recognition and validation to gratify the needs of the 'personality'...the other the struggle to be heard over fear of not being taken seriously for lacking the credentials of the 'elite and scholarly. However. I am very well aware there are those who misrepresent themselves as experts beyond their scope of practice...Agreed.
That said, I also agree with the physiology of all of this...who the hell am I to argue with a brain surgeon?? But I will take it a step further by saying I am not at all convinced there is no such thing as 'the gut' brain...as a matter of fact, I know many who sit on them;-)26/10/2017 #35 Phil FriedmanLook, @Ian Weinberg, you and I both know that in many cases, mainline professional regulation and certification is little more than organization for the purpose of restricting entry into a given field and thereby minimizing competition. If that weren't the case, a hundred times more lawyers would be disbarred than are now, and hundreds more physicians would be lose their licenses for being less than minimally competent. Tens more engineers would be prevented from designing anything more complicated than a backyard tool shed and most clinical psychologists would be professionally strung up.
However, that does not mean anyone should be able to stand on a rock and dub themselves a "psychic healer" or a "life improvement coach" or a "headspace mentor", as though such titles have been conferred on them by others after a course of serious study and examination of their accomplishments and credentials to be such. Especially when the self-ascribed title is confusingly close to a title that is attained in the course of qualifying in a regulated profession or business.
My point is that everyone has the right to practice whatever wacko "therapy" genre they wish, but not the right to pretend they have somehow been "certified" and recognized by an independent, qualified third party organization to do so.
This is a great piece, Ian. Keep up the good work and keep fighting the good fight. Cheers!26/10/2017 #32 Bernard PoulinIn the post 19th century era of romantic notions in the arts, we all became artists and everything we did (and now do) is "art" and nothing is simply. . . well, crap. . . because that would imply charlatan or snake-oil salesman, etc. And we Nervous Nellies of the anxious variety could never deal with so much realism in our lives. Basically, we all want to be revered for our "specialness" cause specialness is all there is of value anymore isn't it? Normal is so "yesterday".
Whether we have anything of "validity" to offer the world or not is irrelevant since in our era of "wanna-be therefore I am" experts are a dime a dozen. Being an expert in this era of lowest common denominator Post-modernism simply means being someone who displays, through their micro-aggressed sadness, an inability to be professional since being professional would mean training and learning and achieving and being diploma'd and exercising competence in a field which demands serious thought and action and recognition by peers - and a respectful public. . . . and THAT . . . (phew!) is so exhausting. . . so elitist!!! In essence, if I want to be an admired dinosaur salesman (forget that dinosaurs haven't been available for sale in a little while) that should be OK with everyone since this is what :"I" want. . . . Right?. . . . Please tell me I'm right!!! . . . Please!!! I can't abide my feelings being hurt yet again!!! Groan. . .26/10/2017 #26 Randall BurnsI have a confession to make @Ian Weinberg...
I am NOT a neuroscientist, (I know, so sorry). moving on...
Fantastic article and great advice, your points are common sense, (to me anyway), but it is fascinating to learn about the actual relationship of this behavior and our brain functions, which I was not aware of. Thanks for the insights as always!26/10/2017 #20 Ken BoddieIan-sensei (aka Obi-Wan Kenobi) you are indeed a “noble man and gifted in the ways of the [Neuro] Force”. This is a valuable reference post for choleric melancholics like myself who need to stand back and look at the bigger picture (albeit in the mirror). By the way, oh wise and learned one, may I assume that you use your light sabre in surgery? 😯25/10/2017 #18 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsDr @Ian Weinberg I burst out laughing at the first two lines. There are quite a few here in the UAE like that. While I wonder if they are authentic I'm concerned about the people that take in the information given by them. They are influencing the way these people go about doing things.
This is a power packed honey jar to come back to anytime. Like Gert said Im printing this. Thank You for the simple and crystal clear info on NA And Amyg. I'm sure the NA levels are high while we are on beBee 🤗🤗🤗😁
- Producer17/10/2017Confirmation Bias: Why You Make Terrible Life ChoicesYou walk into your first yoga class. You’re a little insecure about your weight and how your yoga clothes cling to your body revealing every flaw. You’re nervous about making a fool of yourself. Your eyes instantly zoom onto the fit...
Comments19/10/2017 #7 Harvey Lloyd#5 I thought it most interesting within the post here that confirmation bias is connected to cognitive dissonance. This really opened up some insight for myself as i was aware of both, but in different contexts. Thanks @Nir Eyal View more#5 I thought it most interesting within the post here that confirmation bias is connected to cognitive dissonance. This really opened up some insight for myself as i was aware of both, but in different contexts. Thanks @Nir Eyal. Great post. Close19/10/2017 #5 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#4 Thank you @Harvey Lloyd for tagging me to this super buzz. In fact, you did me a favor as I was in the process of finishing by buzz of today on Lopsided Thinking in Marketing and Sales when I noticed your tag. I interrupted m ywriting to include this idea from this buzz "There is just too much information to process". I did and linked my buzz to this one.
@Nir Eyal- we did have exchange of messages between us on habit marketing almost a year ago. Now, I truly enjoyed reading your buzz and the style with which you produced it. Information bias is truly problematic and you explained it beautifully here.
- Producer18/10/2017Today I Met HopelessImage credit http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/love-in-the-dark.htmlFrom my desk i see students who run away from class. This incident was really no different than other’s, but a compelling force that said i should get involved. You see my domain is...
Comments25/10/2017 #56 Harvey Lloyd#44 Thanks for your thoughts and yes i have been humbled in life everyday since i walked into this field. I am the business person but i see and hear many of the stories.
I have learned that only through the grace of God there go i. I try and stand on the short ladders of life as i dont have far to fall. But sometimes i grab the high one and the students remind me of the impending fall.25/10/2017 #54 Harvey Lloyd#51 In business i never liked the word hope, hope is not a plan. Onward and forward, keep your shoulder down.
Then by chance i showed up in this field. I learned about hope and its rope it extends to some rather tough situations.
Thank you for stoping by and commenting and yes i too can label each turn in my life where folks were their to show hope and guidance.
My hope is, i can return the many favors passed on to me.25/10/2017 #53 Harvey Lloyd#52 Thanks for the thoughts and yes HS is a rough place for some. I had many great teachers and friends of the family that helped me through these times.
Working with the students we work with, you begin to understand the major role parenting has in the first ten years of life. Bonds, expressing ones self and the ability to cope from strength of family.
You never know the few minutes you stop and take a moment with a child the impact you might have.25/10/2017 #52 Lisa 🐝 GallagherWonderfully said @Harvey Lloyd. If more adults took the time to listen, more children may see their real value. I struggled in HS emotionally because I worried more about what others thought than focusing on myself. I had low self esteem but I don't think the kids around me ever knew that. I hid it well or so I thought. I had a great guidance counselor and he took me into his office one day. He began asking me some deep questions and he listened intently. His words of wisdom were more words of guidance (no pun intended) and he made me think hard about my future. He pointed out my strong points in a way I wasn't aware he was doing. He was the reason I chose to go to our Vocational School 11th-12th grade and become a certified Medical Assistant. I was in my element. If it hadn't been for him, I don't think I would have thought to seek out the Vocational School. Adults sure can make a positive difference. Your kids are lucky to have such a wonderful person like yourself who really cares!24/10/2017 #49 Lisa VanderburgBefore I run out the risk of outstaying my welcome, ALL the commenters here bring valid, substantial statements!
Just goes to show, we don;t have to be be perfect, we just have to have the HEART to truly listen! Way to go...there is hope for the hopeless still - that humanity at it's finest, warts and all!24/10/2017 #45 Lisa VanderburgGod love you for the work you do, for the honesty to NOT give a pat answer - the time and consideration and compassion @Harvey Lloyd!
I'd missed this as I'm in the middle of moving, but I'm so happy @Sara Jacobovici alerted me to it with her buzz. I have been where this girl was (I say that because I have confidence you could change that....no one said different to me!) and hope is so very fragile, breathing becomes 'unnatural'. I've said it before, bu tit's remarkable easy to ruin a perfectly good child. You may well have changed her entire life. We need more role models like you, dear man!22/10/2017 #43 CityVP 🐝 ManjitDear @Harvey Lloyd I look at my hill of life and it will be my lack of patience that defines hopeless. You look at your Everest and because the summit of this out of reach, that is the greater height of humanity where hopelessness begins to come into sight.
It is not that you underestimate the height of your own power to deal with youngsters who sit outside the social constructs of society but in this work you do there is no equivalency between my hill of life and the mountain you seek to help your children climb. It is one thing that I may find my own life hill challenging, it is altogether a different proposition when you are helping children climb - you are the dedicated spirit that seeks to put the light of life into those who otherwise may never see that light.
You combine caregiver with education and constantly challenge and try to breakthrough a wall that would easily be considered futile to the rest of us. The gift you are to humanity finds it's hope in breaking through and sometimes that gift comes back unexpectedly by someone you helped decades ago, someone whose life was changed because you existed in this world.
Even in a regular school, there was a story a primary school teacher told me where one of her kids was considered to have great challenges to the extent it was called a learning disability. This Italian child could not overcome his reading challenges. It is however an idea out of the blue that was offered by an Italian teacher, who happen to ask that child to write a story in Italian. The child did. What that child wrote brought tears to these teachers, they had found the key of hope, not the lock of hopelessness. This is why I say we are literally blinded by a "success culture" mentality. May you find keys of hope always.21/10/2017 #42 Harvey Lloyd#41 Some great thoughts and I agree, leadership in any setting is challenging.
We do have to admit to ourselves the role is important and specific to the child we are leading.
It is not an easy task but one where both teacher and student can learn together.
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful insights @David Navarro López21/10/2017 #41 AnonymousThank you, Harvey, for writing such a thoughtful buzz. It is a very complex task to helping youngsters to become adults, because as long as you influence someone, you are in danger of limiting his/her own personality. Leading is changing the path of a follower, but it has to be done in a way that the follower would be a leader in the future. As you point out in your words "Be the candle in a child's dreams not a spotlight on their behaviour or your frustrations.", there is a blurred line between correcting and criticizing. A leading sentence, "a candle", can become "a spotlight" if it is misunderstood. The biggest and, most of the times, "hidden background" when trying to lead is love.
In my opinion, the first step to be taken when leading is to make crystal clear that the leader honestly cares about the sake of the follower.
I am sure @Sara Jacobovici has a lot to say about this issue.
@Katja Bader have a look at this interesting buzz
- Producer17/10/2017The flameThe flame that moves us is wanting, an irreducible will, a relentless will, wanting moved by dreams and fantasies, waking up, that warms the heart of the cold chill of the coldness of the night, brings the hope of a new beginning at the most...
- Producer17/10/2017I failed to be content, will you?Paul makes a statement that is often quoted but rarely understood. I have learned to be content. This vastly underrated phrase is at the very heart of the discord in our lives. We are not content. We are not able to enjoy where we are in life. ...
- Producer17/10/2017You must have experienced one of those scenariosThe complexity of our lives in increasing because of the increased duality or ambivalence that we suffer constantly from. I am sure we have all experienced one of the following scenarios in which you found your feelings and thoughts are in...
Comments25/10/2017 #89 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#88 Are you going to write a book on paradoxes @Sara Jacobovici? You have simply an amazing mind. I love this quote from you "In music, when tones are not in harmony, not consonant but dissonant, the listener experiences a tension". Would I ask for a better example? Certainly not.
This paradox creativity often produces the tension is worthy to investigate in a greater detail.25/10/2017 #88 Sara Jacobovici#87 Thank you for your kind words @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Your comments are often a nice closing of the gap from my comment. Yet, at other times, your comments open me up to another thought. As it did now, Dr. Ali. I appreciate you writing, "When we are in tension is the time for creativity. Tension and creativity are not in harmony. " In music, when tones are not in harmony, not consonant but dissonant, the listener experiences a tension. We can tolerate that tension as long as we anticipate and experience the resolution to that dissonance. The composer created both the harmony and dissonance within the creative process. In this way, I suggest that creativity provides for the release of tension. The paradox is that creativity often produces the tension.25/10/2017 #87 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#86 If I had only one reader by the name of @Sara Jacobovici I shall be always happy to write. You capture the essence of the buzz beautifully
Yes it is not easy to eliminate all the conflict, but alleviating it is possible. When we are in tension is the time for creativity. Tension and creativity are not in harmony. So, we even have a paradox here that we need to resolve.25/10/2017 #86 Sara JacoboviciWonderful piece @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, thank you. You provide an important perspective to ambivalence. I hear you telling me not to get stuck on one side or the other. By not reacting and investing in the reaction, we can move out of the state of ambivalence, where the movement is non-directive and simply in response to the circumstance, and instead, regain some of that control lost to us because of the circumstance and, as you say, create a new option. Never easy, but certainly worth the effort. Again my apologies to you and your readers for not being able to read the comments preceding mine. Thanks again Dr. Ali.22/10/2017 #84 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#11 Hi @Cyndi wilkins a long time ago, I read a journal of psychology that asserted that while there are many forms of trauma that people can recover from, their research concluded that rape was one of the few trauma's that left a permanent psychological mark on its victim. In essence they asserted that rape is psychologically disturbing that this trauma embeds itself much deeper as a violation of the body. At the same time the legal system is not fair at all to rape victims.
Nor do many understand that rape as a violation usually has more to do with subjecting the victim to control and power and that the sexual act is actually secondary for the rapist, for many rapist indulge the perversion of dehumanizing the victim. In short the horror of rape is still not understood by our society at the level it actually violates a human being. This is not like a robbery where one can move to a new home, in rape the body is the home and what has been violated is the deepest level of being - a destruction of the spirit and not just a physical revulsion of a gross act of inhumanity.
When it comes to turning trauma into triumph, here I agree wholeheartedly with the magnificent contribution of people to help others so they can either achieve some form of legal recognition or to track down predators and thereby cut down the possibility of future attacks, or at least save one soul from this trauma than would have been the case otherwise. Even with these people transforming their grief or story into positive social cause, in the case of rape, we as a society still need to develop our sensibility to a far greater degree about why the violation of the human spirit is a supreme act of evil on any person.21/10/2017 #82 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#80 I feel that your comment is based on personal experience because it is a living comment @Bernard Poulin.. I love the poetic style of your comment as well. I enjoyed this part of it in particular immensely. "Reaching beyond our personal spaces, our own navels, puts us in sync with life rather than sucking the air out of it". Yes, it is challenging to go beyond ourselves, but this what makes life worthy.21/10/2017 #80 Bernard Poulin"Solving the problem of others puts our feelings and thoughts in harmony." I would extrapolate on that. In general, thinking of others above and beyond ourselves puts our feelings and thoughts in harmony. Reaching beyond our personal spaces, our own navels, puts us in sync with life rather than sucking the air out of it. But this is very difficult to do in a time where me, "moi" and myself is the sun around which our worlds revolve, where our greatest anxieties emerge from having our feelings hurt by micro-aggression platitudes & at a time where manufactured self esteem issues pretend to be those related to self respect.19/10/2017 #79 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#78 Very true @Yolanda Ávila - Kaizen Proyectos. However; antifragility is more than resilience. It is coming out of a stressful situation stronger than before. Like carbon under stress yields diamonds so we are expected to be antifragile. This is a subject of huge interest and I hope to cover it soon.19/10/2017 #78 Yolanda Ávila - Kaizen Proyectos#74 Of course.
One of the most wonderful capacities of the human being is resilience.
Have you read Viktor Emil Frankl? Man's Search for Meaning
''Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of mental independence, even in the terrible circumstances of psychic and physical tension''
''Man can be snatched from everything but one thing: the last of human freedoms - the choice of personal attitude before a set of circumstances - to decide his own way''
Regards!18/10/2017 #74 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#73 absolutely I agree with you @Yolanda Ávila - Kaizen Proyectos. Yes, we agree. Being positive and acting in a positive way is far better than paralyzing self with ugly memories of cowardly acts. It requires solid determination, but it can be done.18/10/2017 #73 Yolanda Ávila - Kaizen Proyectos#70 I understand you.
I have read more similar cases. I agree that doing something to help others who have gone through the same situation is positive but provided that at the same time you have healed the wound inside.
This model of Yoga, for example, has a support group for women who have been raped.
She helps them because she was also raped. I think it's wonderful and ... healer.
Basically you and I agree Ali:
we must think and act, not stay paralyzed and look for creative solutions that take us out of the paralyzing situations.18/10/2017 #71 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#68 brilliant comment dear @Tausif Mundrawala. You wrote "I have learnt that whatever we desire it comes with a price and requires us to work on it diligently". In thermodynamics we know you don't get anything for nothing. You derived this reality by yourself. You are smsrt my friend.18/10/2017 #70 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#69 Dear @Yolanda Ávila - Kaizen Proyectos- I read the story of the girl. She didn't remove her problem, but lesssned its intensity by helping others. She vented out part of frustration this way. The positive side is that she designed the sports shoe. She re-challened her frustration and this was a way of dealing of a problem rather than allowing the problem to ruin her. She was self-motivated to do that.
- Producer14/10/2017A May day fright or flightSome of us are driven to pushing the envelop either out of curiosity or out of the need to live on the edge, or both. I suspect that I would fall into the subgroup of ADHD’s characterized by the need for increased environmental stimulation. Now...
Comments14/10/2017 #16 Cyndi wilkins#8 I'm with her!!! Silly boys;-) Although I have to admit...it took me quite some time settle down after having a child...When I 'misbehaved' I always got the "What the hell were you thinking?!?!" speech the morning after....followed by, "You're a mother now...so act like one." Shamed into submission:-(14/10/2017 #14 Gert Scholtz@Ian Weinberg A swashbuckling ride Doc! Next time, take me with you when you go for a “spin” in an airplane. I crashed down with a microglider once and think I should up the ante on skyfalls. Good story Ian, and may I say happy that you lived to tell it – and have a coffee with me from time to time.14/10/2017 #6 Donna WoodSome edge of your seat reading, @Ian Weinberg!!! The world is grateful for two things: first you lived to tell the tale; and second that people who push envelope exist. Necessity indeed is the mother of all invention. It the exhilaration we feel while pushing the envelope that truly makes us feel alive!!!14/10/2017 #5 Ken BoddieThey say that the sweetest success, Ian, comes after boundaries have been moved further away than we originally thought possible, or, even better, when the batsman repeatedly hits a six over them. Personally, I'm one of those boring people who identify hazards, and carry out a risk assessment after evaluating the probability of occurrence and the associated consequential damage. I then suggest appropriate factors of safety be set in place, so that the great majority of users or practitioners can work within a safe environment. But without people like you, Ian, we never really find out what is possible beyond the boundaries or how conservative we may or may not have been in setting them. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." 🤔
- Producer27/09/2017DILEMMADilemma. It’s a delicious word; one I keep repeating. I find myself rolling it ‘round my mouth until my tongue splits like a serpent. Why is that? It’s a two-tined word.'1520s, from Late Latin dilemma, from Greek dilemma "double proposition," a...
Comments01/10/2017 #78 Lisa Vanderburg@Cyndi wilkins...I also find children to be wonderful! https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lisa-vanderburg/introspection
You brought up kids..... :)01/10/2017 #75 Lisa Vanderburg#74 Darn tootin' @CityVP 🐝 Manjit! If I could reiterate your whole comment, I would, but 'Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship.' Never a truer statement for mature adults! I agree that the age of reaching maturity is a huge band; seems to me that is particularly so in the first world, where the disparity between mature '21-year olds' appears enormous....could be I'm just getting old.01/10/2017 #74 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#73 Even though coming of age is meant to be a right of passage, it is also an assumption that this is when the teenage brain matures into the adult brain. Sometimes the difference between 19 and 25 can be night and day, so there is no magic 21 for any of us. There are ways of mitigating reckless behaviour but there are so many factors and variables that mean we need to understand a child in the context of their given experiences and development. I would not be surprised to learn of people whose actual coming of age was 37 !!!
At the same time a very upright and mature individual can have a moment of extreme childishness because after all, we are only human and having an adult brain does not necessarily confer adult behaviour. Maturity is as rational as irrationality and whether it is brutal girls, macho boys or soccer moms, I think we all have moments in our lives which are not our finer moments. What we don't want in those moments is someone to become the action replay booth. It is uncomfortable to have someone replay our actions when we know that those actions were not ones where we were at our best.
Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship. If we have a relationship, we protect and nurture relationships, but whether it is a teenage brain not wired for sensitivities or insensitive moron who has the relationship of a pile of pigswill, there is a point where we become mindful of a relationship and feedback. As we evolve as human beings, we hopefully will also evolve in our ability to create quality relationships. Not political correctness or being woke, but the recognition that we will fail more than we succeed in developing quality relationships that are limited also by our scope.01/10/2017 #73 Cyndi wilkins#72 Well...I was only twelve at the time;-) I've learned a lot about letting boys be boys since then... Still applies when they are men;-) I'll tell you what though, guys are a hell of lot easier on each other than we lil' bitches at that age...My daughter is in middle school now and these girls are brutal...posting inappropriate photos and bad mouthing classmates online to humiliate them to their peers...THAT is the kind of stuff that worries me more than anything...Children do not have the mental maturity at this age to discern and think for themselves when being bullied...and too often these things lead to horrible tragedies...This is where we should ALL be focusing more of our attention...What kind of example are we setting for our children?30/09/2017 #70 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#69 There are certain characteristics of animal kingdom ritual that human beings still have kinship and machismo is just one element in the bag of ego that convinces some that they are being men of reason, when the reality would only be known if we got David Attenborough to narrate in the distance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQI5KUfM2xc
"The male seals begin to taunt each other and this exposes the weakest of the herd, but in the distance something unusual has occurred, a single dolphin (with a sizeable brain) tries to come to the aid of the weakest seal and the seals do not appreciate the interaction of this species. The dolphin immediately retreats realizing it has made life more rather than easier for the weakest in the seal herd"
It is not so much lessons learned for me as observing life the way David Attenborough would look at it - pull back and watch the show and then try to figure out what brews behind the behaviour.30/09/2017 #69 Cyndi wilkins"It pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space."
I love this comment @CityVP 🐝 Manjit because it reminds me of a memory in sixth grade when I really had a thing for this boy in my class...We were really good friends and I liked having the attention of a 'boy' friend;-) Then one afternoon I happened upon an incident on the playground where my friend was being pushed around and taunted by a group of others boys...Naturally I felt the need to come to the defense of my friend...much to his disapproval at my butting in on a 'guy thing.'
Unfortunately, I only succeeded in embarrassing him and he never spoke to me again...Lesson learned.30/09/2017 #68 Lisa Vanderburg#67 Amen, brother @CityVP 🐝 Manjit - thank you so much for your thoughtful and witty comments! I agree; I like diversity...would be a very dull play without it. And I love your understanding of 'batty-boys' & catty girls :) It's refreshing to jump in each other's sand-pits and get a bit gritty, just leave the mace, arrows and shiv out, or there will be tears before bedtime! :)30/09/2017 #67 CityVP 🐝 ManjitSocial media is not as well developed as our living room media, and so there is no Viewers Discretion warnings on social media buzzes. I love diversity and as much as I am often piggy in the middle and am cool with the mainstream, I like being a witness to the edges and the extremes - because that encompasses diversity.
When the batty boys start batting, I recognize where they play and the critical level of discourse that ensues. That is far different from the immoral troll who is a diaper sized kid trying to get off on yanking people's chain. So social media when it is best has different sandpits to play in, and it is not just about providing room for the voice of the batty boys, it is also room for the fighting cats. I see more cat-fights in the offline world than I do online but this is not about bullying, but the extremes of human expression - and what I find most intriguing is when a batty boy considers critical thought as an argument when it is between batty boys and we consider it a cat-fight when it is women exchanging vociferous argument.
Other than the odd weirdo or troll, one should not be playing rugby in a tennis match, nor tennis in a rugby match. If the conversation is a political or cerebral sport then it pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space. Why engage in a conversation where historical precedent shows that there is a higher degree of getting our noses out of joint. At the same time, the same regard for context should be held by batty boys and fighting-cats.
If a space has a civil context and the conversation is nuanced and very deep, having a grunge band opinion cutting through is simply someone who is out of touch. Morality and ethics has a higher plain than online conversation, and a higher bar on ethics and morality does not place a ban or censure on the lowest common denominator. My first goal is to welcome diversity.30/09/2017 #66 Lisa VanderburgWelcome @JosephDavid Thomas! Posting a buzz here is a bit of a challenge....for me, anyhoo! Can't keep my headers the same size :) You're right though, how dilemma could also be easily translated to 'double-speak'.
Thanks Ambassador and dear friend @Deb 🐝 Helfrich!30/09/2017 #65 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#64 Hey there, @JosephDavid Thomas. Being brand new, you misinterpreted who shared the article with who authored it.
Easy mistake to make while scrolling the feed the first time.
Distribution on beBee isn't algorithmically controlled, but rather all about the human level shares.
So the sharer's picture shows above the author's.
No harm, no foul, we are all friends around here! And love to chat.29/09/2017 #62 Cyndi wilkins#54 " Take into account those authors that take a reasonable statement that does not align with their post/buzz, and use it to pulverize the commenter."
Agreed...So down regulate the emotion...Anger begets anger...so choose the opposing energy of gratitude instead by responding to such behavior peacefully...That in and of itself is empowering to YOU...the RESPONDER...Nothing is more disarming than a smile...Sure...they may shoot you in the head for it, but you'll go down smiling;-)
Okay, I'll shut up now and let 'da boys' talk!
Humans, Nature and Creativity~ 100 buzzes
This hive is for buzzes that re-create the connections between people and nature - nature and people.
Why Humans? The word humans is derived from humous - from the earth, hence, this hive and the connection between humans and nature.
Why Creativity? Because nature is one big creation, humans are born to create, and creativity is the number one capability to create our future now.
We are experiencing a new renaissance, where people are realizing, who we are being, what we believe, and how we act has profound effects on the whole system in which we live. I hope that the more we see, imagine and experience our inter-connections with each other and nature, the more we collectively uncover new ways to create our workplaces and society that continually expand the ways we foster care of the whole system.
Why Humans? The word humans is derived from humous - from the earth, hence, this hive and the connection between humans and nature.
Why Creativity? Because nature is one big creation, humans are born to create, and creativity is the number one capability to create our future now.
We are experiencing a new renaissance, where people are realizing, who we are being, what we believe, and how we act has profound effects on the whole system in which we live. I hope that the more we see, imagine and experience our inter-connections with each other and nature, the more we collectively uncover new ways to create our workplaces and society that continually expand the ways we foster care of the whole system.