- Producer06/12/2017Moore Rebuts Allegations; Offers DefenseRoy Moore is not going to allow “a gaggle of lying ladies” upset his bid to become an Alabama Senator. He spoke to The Lint Screen earlier today.“It all a bunch of poppycock,” Moore said, responding to the many allegations of his pursuing underage...
- Producer04/12/2017Adventures in Mid-Life Dating, Part 3: Pasta Projectiles Are Not A Dating StrategyI don’t have time for men who still do everything their penis tells them to do. A recent chat exchange happened with your typical lazyboy on Spinal Tap, my pseudonymous online dating service. Of course he didn’t fill out his profile, and...
Comments06/12/2017 #12 Phil FriedmanNot being a native Canuck, I'm pretty stubborn, @Nicole Chardenet, So I have to point out that I think you have my point backward. I am NOT saying that a person with "a good sense of humour" is immature. Rather, I am saying that, present company excluded of course, women for whom having "a good sense of humour" dominates their dating wish list are immature and inevitably end up with frat-boy types, not keepers or stayers. And once one drops the quest for "a good sense of humour", one often finds members of the opposite sex who make good partners.06/12/2017 #11 Nicole Chardenet#10 I don't think 'a good sense of humour' necessarily correlates to immaturity...I've found plenty of that in people *without* a sense of humour...making them both immature AND a pain in the ass to be around :)
I'm stickin' to that stickin' point in my dating strategy :)05/12/2017 #10 Phil Friedman#7 Well, Nicole, with all due respect, I speak as a 15-year veteran of living and working in Canada (Toronto and environs). And I think the Canadian female obsession with "having a good sense of humour" (note the correct spelling) is what keeps so many without long-term companions and mates. In my experience, that obsession signals a concomitant tendency to be attracted to the emotionally immature. For "having a good sense of humour" has little, if anything to do with being creative or fun or intelligent or loyal or sensitive or caring or honest or authentic or courageous. And from what I saw during my political self-exile in Canada, having a good sense of humour" often topped, even solely comprised the list of requirements of many, especially Torontonian women. As long we're talking about it. Cheers!05/12/2017 #9 Nicole Chardenet#6 Sure, but I knew it wasn't gonna work. I seriously just wanted to have a glass of wine with a cute guy who demonstrated a great sense of humour in chat (faites attention, M. Friedman!) :) I didn't really expect to find myself attracted to him, and I was just happy to know I *could* be attracted to someone as easily as I was to him. I *knew* he wasn't very sincere; he said in his profile he wanted kids and when I tried to put him off over that detail he claimed they didn't really matter that much. Well, he was lying to someone...either to me, to get the date, or to the women he's hoping to attract. I knew that. Eyes wide open, y'know?05/12/2017 #7 Nicole Chardenet#1 Phil, having a good sense of humour is not just especially important in humour-challenged Canada, where everyone's afraid to be truly funny lest someone somewhere get OH-FENDED...and Toronto is, after all, no lie, I swear I'm not making this up, the city that actually forced a poster down because it was *DISRESPECTFUL TO COWS*. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/06/30/toronto-airport-removes-ad-activists-call-insulting-to-cows_a_23010133/
Believe me, any citizens who are offended on behalf of cows (to my knowledge, no actual cows complained about the poster), are going to need a really good sense of humour to deal with *my* politically incorrect ass.
But also, a really good sense of humour is sexy as hell, and a sign that the guy may actually be interesting. Timid boys afraid of speaking their minds need not apply.04/12/2017 #4 Randall BurnsHaHa! @Phil Friedman I think there's a lot more to it than just,
"...mind-stunted boys who'd be the center of attention joking around at a frat party. "
Agreed that a 'sense of humour" is a very personal and individual concept/perception. It comes down to "chemistry" and I've noticed in the past, from my "dating" days that physical attractiveness does not compensate for that spontaneous laughter and other "childlike feelings and emotions" that occur with certain people when "chemistry" is present.04/12/2017 #1 Phil FriedmanVery funny, @Nicole Chardenet. But I have to say that, although It's been a long since I "dated", it always drove me crazy when "unattached" female friends repeatedly cited one of the requisite characteristics in a potential mate as being "has a good sense of humour" (Cdn spelling). And I notice that keeps cropping up in your piece.
WTF is so important about humour? My wife's best friend always talked about this guy or that having a great sense of humour... which was no doubt why her short-term relationships appeared always to be with mind-stunted boys who'd be the center of attention joking around at a frat party. When I finally spoke out about the counter-productivity of being humour-obsessed and she dropped that requirement, at least nominally, she found a great guy who became not only her husband but also my best friend for more than thirty years now.
I always think of Pogo's statement made along the shore of Lake Okeefenokee, "We've met the enemy [of happiness], and ... he is us." Cheers!
- Producer29/11/2017The GOP Tax Plan Explained To SimpletonsThe editorial staff of The Lint Screen is not schooled in complex subjects like economics, so we approached Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Representatives, for an explanation of the new GOP Tax Plan.“It’s quite simple,” Speaker Ryan said. “Our...
Comments29/11/2017 #1 Jim MurrayAny asshole who is not in or dependent on the 1% of wealthiest Americans and has even a thimbleful of economic knowledge knows that this trickle down bullshit doesn't and never has worked. These same people know that the encouragement of innovation and small business development is where the vast majority of job growth lies. Big companies will take these tax breaks and invest in automation, to kill more jobs. Why, because they don't give a shit about people. And never have. Anyone who has a different point of view on this, I would strongly argue, is bought and paid for by something big.
- Producer26/11/2017Some Random Quirky Things About Me. How About You?When I was young my mother used to tell my brother and I that we could go out into the woods behind my grandmother's home and dig a hole to China. We believed her and dug until our hands were hurting. I remember asking my brother, "If we can do...
Comments01/12/2017 #40 Randall BurnsHaHa! @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, fun post, great video, I remember those days, "What's the internet?", we had an Apple desktop, early 90's.
Years before that while going to primary school i was the envy of the other other kids when we would have lunch and everyone would pull their thermos' out of their lunch box, open them and pour soup into the cup. I would open my thermos and pull out 2 steaming wieners put them on 2 sesame seed buns, dress them with mustard and relish and enjoy hot dogs for my lunch. ;-) (compliments of my mother).27/11/2017 #38 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#36 Our first computer sure looked like the Commodore and could have been! Oh I remember the crackling, the dialing sound and even the long beep......... I also remember feeling frustrated because you would get so much lag time and it disconnected all the time. I never heard of the show you posted but it appears it was before it's time. I may have to check it out, thanks @CityVP 🐝 Manjit27/11/2017 #37 Zacharias 🐝 VoulgarisWhen I got into computing, the best machine I could get access to was an Oric and all its programs were in cassette tapes (these magnetic tape plastic thingies that used to store music mainly). Back then, if you didn't know at least some programming, you couldn't even load your favorite program, plus you would have to be very patient as loading a program would take up to half an hour! No wonder that my preferred system to program on was pencil and paper! :-)27/11/2017 #36 CityVP 🐝 ManjitWe started out with the Commodore in the 90's http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=905 so never mind Windows! The internet when it became "the thing" at the end of the 90's was therefore a scary thing for us because we thought the Commodore was the bees-knees when it first came out.
The whole idea of this "Internet" thing was mind-blowing in comparison, but that is what happens when one's world view is shaped by a machine with green letters :-) I remember the crackling sound of my first modem in 1998 and when I realized what the Internet was, I have never looked back since.
I did not pay attention to the operating system we were using at the time, but it must have been Windows. Back in the day I was first gobsmacked by the Commodore (which seems ridiculous now) and then by the introduction of Netscape Browser. No wonder I eat up all the episodes that were made of Halt and Catch Fire https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halt_and_Catch_Fire_(TV_series) between 2014 and 2017.27/11/2017 #33 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#30 @David B. Grinberg, if there was a laughter button, I would have hit it. I could not stop laughing when I read of your dream about the marshmallow then you woke up and your pillow was gone... you did not eat your pillow, right? haha!! As for the napkins, I hear you, I swear I always have a ton more than everyone around me, I'm also a messy eater but I do love to eat. I used to love the song, "Stayin Alive," by the BeeGees (well I still do). Loved it more when we'd go out dancing. You sure can strike high chords! I can do a pretty good Bruno Mars, only his love songs though. Ok, so are we meeting in China for lunch or MD? I haven't had GOOD Chinese food in ages!27/11/2017 #32 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#28 Ha, yes @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, I'm sensing a theme with digging to China!! They sure helped us to really use our imaginations though, didn't they? You were a tree climber too? So was @Claire L Cardwell, her post is below, you two sound like you had similar interests growing up and ENERGY, she loved taking things apart too. Imaginary friends were a necessary part of life back then because we did have time that we had to play quietly in our rooms... I had 3 sisters so I don't think I dreamed up any imaginary friends ;-)
Fun but great memories, thanks for sharing them Franci!27/11/2017 #30 David B. GrinbergWow, that "digging to China" really struck a chord, Lisa. So should we meet there for lunch? If not, there's always takeout. I also like singing, in the shower and otherwise. Moreover, I can strike a high note like the Bee Gees in the song "Staying Alive" and others. I also like ice coffee all year-round. I use straws a lot and over indulge on napkins (sloppy eater). One time I had a dream that I ate the world's biggest marshmallow...then I woke up and my pillow was gone!26/11/2017 #28 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorMy parents tried the digging to China story on me too. Geeez, maybe this trick was in a parenting 101 book back then.
I was a tree climber and used to swing on the branches, which drove my parents crazy. They were so afraid I would get hurt, which I was lucky I didn't. I rode my bike everywhere and had a few crashes but nothing serious. I was a hyper child and liked everything to move fast.
I also took my transistor radios apart and put them back together, and believe it or not they still worked. Oh, and I had lots of imaginary friends. Yep, they were cool and we used to dance, @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. Ah, the theatre, the theatre...26/11/2017 #24 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#23 @Brook Massey, well if Bugs Bunny confirmed digging a hole to China to be true, it had to be!
That's funny about the shoes. I never hated shoes until the past 5 years or so. I remember when I was a kid, I would have much rather ran around w/out shoes as often as I could get away with it. My mom didn't seem to mind but my grandmother would say to my mom, "Oh, they need their shoes on or they are going to catch a cold." My mom would appease her.
Hey I don't see anything wrong with taking your shoes off during breaks, they can become a bit cumbersome when your on your feet all day, let those feet roam ;-) Thanks for sharing!26/11/2017 #23 Brook Massey@Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, My parents would tell me the same thing about digging a hole to China. Bugs Bunny confirmed to me that it was true, though.
One of my major quirks is my hatred of shoes. I would go barefoot all of the time if it were warm and appropriate. I guess it harkens back to growing up on a farm in rural Kentucky. As a kid, in the summer, I only wore shoes to church.
Now, I am not quite so gauche. If you enter my personal office during lunch or if there is break between patients, I will be in sock feet, though. Inside my home, I can be myself and let my toes roam free!
- Producer24/11/2017Fly the "Friendly" Friday Funday Skies!It’s the Friday after the American Thanksgiving holiday, and I know a lot of folks flew to be with their friends and family at this time. I can’t imagine how you survived! I hope your visit is going well, and that you’ll also survive the return...
Comments25/11/2017 #10 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsEither Turkey causes the funny bone to be extra sensitive, or they are all hilarious this week. I literally laughed out loud at the Bonus. Goes back to a memory of a trip across the US. We stopped for breakfast and the rest of the horde (my siblings) immediately went back to sleep. As we were pulling out of the parking lot my mother asked me (an 8 years old) what direction we had come from and in all innocence I set us back 200 miles. There was nothing to be seen but the desert of the southwest before we saw the last gas station we had visited. Moral of the story; Don't ask a sleepy 8-year-old, full of pancakes, for directions. I think that qualifies as a major WTF for my mother. She had to fill up at the gas station...again
- Producer21/11/2017NRA Excited about Active Thanksgiving WeekendOur forefathers knew their stuff when they gave citizens “the right to bear arms”, especially during Thanksgiving season.The NRA has launched a new ad campaign with the theme, “Shut that snowflake up!”In the TV spot, the scene opens on a traditional...
Comments23/11/2017 #1 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar GoddessAnd these days, @Patrick Sculin, it's hard to distinguish satire from reality -- harder than I can ever remember. I gotta tell you, I'll be glad to see Trump's backside one more time, the day he leaves Washington, D.C., for one of his golf courses. Permanently.
- Producer20/11/2017Adventures in Mid-Life Dating, Part 2 – Keep The Bar High!The Toothpicker reminded me never, ever, to lower my standards. When I re-upped on Spinal Tap this summer I promised myself I would only go out with really interesting guys and not deal with anyone who was ‘borderline’. As in, He’s not...
Comments21/11/2017 #7 Nicole Chardenet#3 Randall, I kind of knew there would probably be no chemistry...but I met up with him anyway because he DID make such a good impression on the phone, and I already know from the past Two Great Loves Of My Life that chemistry doesn't always happen when you know the person! It really has a lot less to do with looks than most people realize. I thought my ex was funny-looking when I first met him and I immediately friend-zoned him...but then he grew on me and it took me quite by surprise, rather a lot like the guy in university I fell in love with who looked like Waldo (although Waldo hadn't been invented yet!) I knew one for several months and one for a month or more before the chemistry happened. So, just because his photo didn't do it for me didn't mean it wasn't there...it really IS far more spiritual than people realize. But it just wasn't there. I wasn't very disappointed. I figured every encounter should be a learning opportunity and it has been so far. The one who came after The Toothpicker ("The Bay Streeter") turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for me in one regard but also gave me great hope on the other (a hope that had nothing to do with him).
Whether through data analytics or sales methodology, I intend to defy the odds of finding real love at my age by going about it in a different manner, rather like Ms. Jewish found her Jewish Prince with better mathematical capabilities than I've got (also I'd feel uncomfortable setting up fake profiles for research :) )
More in my next installment :)21/11/2017 #6 Nicole Chardenet#4 Oh, there wasn't much wooing going on :) The sort of sad addendum was he called me like a week later and said his mother had died. She was in the hospital with a broken hip when we met, but I didn't think she would die...how many old people suffer broken hips??? He said apparently about 30% of them pass on. I was surprised to hear from him, I figured he'd have gotten the message, and I couldn't 'break up' with him after that...so I was simply polite and sympathetic and we have had no contact since.I feel badly for him...not just because his mother died but because my research since then indicates he's actually fairly typical of middle-aged men on singles sites...which I kinda knew empirically but the research stamped it with the Seal of Approval. Not only do I wish I could help all the schlumpy guys who are destined for failure on Spinal Tap, but I also feel for the women who are also spinning their wheels wondering why nothing ever happens for them either...with these guys, or why there aren't better guys on Spinal Tap...or why these guys don't get their shit together. I do think a lot of these guys would do better if they made more of an effort. But they don't know what they don't know...20/11/2017 #3 Randall BurnsJust to clarify my statement @Nicole Chardenet It is very hard, if not impossible to quantify, measure the "chemistry factor", but that's also where the fun is. The excitement of the journey into the unknown, new discovery. Regardless of whether there is "chemistry" or not we have to have fun with it, and like your post here, I don't think you wasted your time and you are looking at the "fun" side of it. ;-)
How boring would it be to feed all your info into an algorithm and have your husband and 2.2 kids spit out on a computer print-out, where's the fun in that?20/11/2017 #2 Randall BurnsAnother enjoyable jaunt into the dating world @Nicole Chardenet Great video but I'm skeptical about becoming so analytical regarding such a "nebulous" topic/goal. I think your comment of "there was no chemistry" sums it up brilliantly in that you never know until you're actually face to face in real-time with someone to actually see if there is chemistry.
Looking forward to the next installment. :-)
- Producer16/11/2017Nobody Cares about Your Feelings. Deal with itRANT MODE ONMaybe it's my inner Grouchy-Old-Man talking. Maybe my points are silly. Maybe they're profound. Whatever, this is how I feel. Yes, I see the irony in writing a post titled, "Nobody cares about your feelings," that is really my feelings...
Comments26/11/2017 #52 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#40 omg, thats hysterical Paul! I swear I had a neighbor like that. She would report to my other neighbors that she worried about me because I was up so late at night walking around in my pink robe. At least she didn't say naked. Nevermind that she was up late peering in my windows ha ha24/11/2017 #50 FancyJ LondonGreat Post! Vent Paul, VENT!!!
Some people just have that gift of self affliction wedging things between their butt cheeks enough to cause great irritation for everyone they come in contact with, as they point blame at someone else for putting it there in the first place. (rolling my eyes around)19/11/2017 #47 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsLMAO Paul, love it when they push Paul to rant!
You were so right to enter that conversation. Chick 2 had issues. Many many many long term relationships have occurred between co-workers, nothing wrong with that! The only times it pissed me off was when married men came on to me, but I never ran to HR, I figured if it got too bad I'd use my knee in strategic spots or call their damn wife and ask her to stop her husband from making my life hell.
Bet you look adorable with a beard! :-) Oh wait...Am I sexually harassing you with that statement?
Speaking of which, let's turn this around; As a single woman for the majority of my life I'm sick and tired of men AND women assuming my friendliness is a come-on and I'm out to steal someone else's man. I have been publicly called out (in church for christ's sake) for talking to the father of my daughter's best friend, about our children!!!. Excuse me; I don't want you ugly ass husband!
It needed to be said Paul and you did so very very well!! As someone who has been harassed but also dated colleagues; I applaud you! Chick #1 apparently has problems dealing with uncomfortable social situations...Like no one has ever before in the history of man has ever had to deal with a bit of awkwardness. PaLEASE!
Childish Girl needs to grow up and Get the F*** over it, the poor guy's ego took a bruising with the turn down and now the B**** was advising to turn him into HR...Really17/11/2017 #42 Jerry FletcherPaul, Thank you! You made my day. Although there was a laugh in there I can say that there is more than a grain of truth on what the world has come to. As a speaker who can get passionate about Networking and Brand and Trust Based business development I often warn audiences that, "I've been told by some folks that I'm not socially correct. Some of what I have to say may offend some of you. But it will be the truth as I see it. If I piss you off, so be it. If I make some of you laugh with my observations that is okay by me. No matter what reaction you have you'll come out of here better off if you own your feelings. Ain't it great to get to the age where you really don't give damn what others think of you!17/11/2017 #41 Robert CormackAh, well, @Kevin Pashuk, I had a sneaking suspicion nobody was thinking about me at all when I was constantly asked who I was and why was I hanging around the halls. Once they discovered I'd been working there 3 years, I ceased being a topic of conversation entirely—until it was decided I could be bluffing. When they found out I wasn't bluffing, I ceased being a topic of conversation entirely because I was boring. I've since told everyone I'm bluffing.#3817/11/2017 #40 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#36 LOL, that reminds of the old joke about a woman who called the police because her male neighbor walked around in the nude.
When the Cops came, all they saw was a waist-up view. When questioned, the woman answered, "Yes, but if you stand on the kitchen counter, lean out holding the light fixture for balance, while holding this mirror over your head, you can see his junk!"17/11/2017 #36 Wayne Yoshida#32 #33 -- This is a very touchy area in our post Anita Hill era. Many years ago, three of us guys in the sales dept were called into HR one day. We were being accused for harassment because of our "locker room" jokes and stories. The accuser was in a cubicle adjacent to mine.
We immediately changed our location for these discussions. . . . and the accuser **followed** us and reported us again, saying she could still hear our stories and jokes.
I caught her one day standing on her chair so she could eavesdrop. . . and then reported her to HR. All charges in our files were removed. She was sent to therapy and anger management sessions.
- Producer13/11/2017Adventures In Mid-Life Dating, Part 1: I Wish I Was A LesbianQ: What do lesbians do on the second date? A: Rent a U-Haul! This is the first of what will probably be an ongoing series on....how the human race is doomed :) I detailed in my previous post about men who self-select out of the pool on...
Comments18/11/2017 #19 Nicole Chardenet#15 Well, it's not all doom & gloom. In my next post I'll be detailing a bit some of the men I've met up with (no names, and no desire to socially shame anyone). I did talk briefly to one guy online a few weeks ago who looks like a cool guy, but he's not sure if he wants to explore polyamory - multiple lovers - or not. I've already tried that and wasn't into it, so I'm a little leery of getting involved with someone who's into that or thinking of it. But, he's also into Buddhism and sometimes goes to the meditation group here in town I'm also in even though we've never run into each other there (he hasn't gone in awhile apparently). I keep thinking I should reach out to him and become friends with him in case he decides *not* to explore polyamory. Plus, he seems like a really bright cool dude so having a new friend can't be a bad thing, y'know?
I still have faith that a decent one will cross my path some day!18/11/2017 #18 Nicole Chardenet#16 Yes, I think men are being judged more closely (harshly?) on their looks now too. Being really overweight isn't helping them any more than it is women...and the dirty little secret of large people of both genders is *they* don't want to be with large people either. Women are financially and economically successful enough now that we don't have to 'settle'...which I suspect a LOT of these guys are looking to do...to settle, and be settled for.
I'm not interested in "settling". If I can't find someone who can keep up with me then I will end up alone, and that's okay. At least I'll know I did everything I could.18/11/2017 #17 Nicole Chardenet#14 Okay, I laughed at that...but I know it's not completely true either! Maybe on Spinal Tap & other similar services, I don't know. People on online services do seem to meet their partners offline, but I have a few friends who are married to people they met online. Hell, my ex and I did it back in the day before it was cool...we met over a computer BBS.17/11/2017 #16 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess#10 Love the "used husband in fair condition," @Nicole Chardenet! That is wonderful! I guess we all know that over the millenia, women have been prized for their looks; men, not so much. They were the ones who went out and found the food for the family, fought the wars, fought to keep what was theirs safe. Looks likely were irrelevant.
Now? Well, yes. Women are still judged more harshly in terms of looks as we age, but I firmly believe that we mostly also take much better care of ourselves, and I know we look damn fine!
Waiting for the next installment . . . :-)17/11/2017 #15 Lisa 🐝 GallagherYou can always change your mind (of course I'm just kidding). It has to be hard to be on these dating sites. I keep seeing a commercial in the US for one of the dating sites and of course it showcases 2 young and beautiful females and one hot guy who looks like he's a lot of fun but too young if someone in our age group were looking. That is unless the young guy is looking for a MILF- or should I just say, sex?! I once had someone tell me on Social Media that I was a MILF. I was so naive and had to ask what that meant... I asked the guy, no less! I was really embarrassed and felt like I appeared to be a piece of meat rather than a female who wasn't even using social media looking for guys. It has to be tough as a single woman looking for a decent man. Don't give up, I think you are figuring this out.. methodology does come in handy. ;-)17/11/2017 #13 Randall Burns#4 LMAO!! I lived in Toronto for 4 years, in the 80's and I can vouch for what you say @Nicole Chardenet, (and here I thought that the high gay population was due to the fact that they were all models/actors/artists/musicians) My life did "loosen" up after I left Toronto. :-)17/11/2017 #11 Nicole Chardenet#9 Thanks, Franci-Eugenia! I hope to have it out in the next week. It was actually one fairly long post that I cut into two so part of the next is already written. Interestingly, I have a suitor I only just recently met, not through Spinal Tap, who came over to pick up some winter coats from me for charity and I invited him to a dinner party I was holding that night. He is extremely interesting and bright and has one hell of a backstory to tell...some of it tragic, some of it happy, but he's indicated interest. We are talking about hanging out as friends for now but maybe seeing where it goes. I don't know him that well for now and I *do* need to get to know a person before I warm up to them. We'll see how it goes...17/11/2017 #10 Nicole Chardenet#5 @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess I keep thinking about The Toothpicker...I think I mentioned him in my previous post and he'll get a brief mention in my next one...and the reason I keep thinking about him is because he is is just the epitome of what I wanted to avoid and the giant red flag that I needed to qualify candidates better. (And as soon as I thought of it as 'qualifying candidates' I knew my Inner Salescritter had kicked in to point out that hey, there were some real similarities to trying to close a sales deal and dating!) The Toothpicker was a good, basic, decent guy....whose life was over. Who was never going to look good again *because he chose not to* even though you could see he used to be a really great-looking guy. He was, essentially, a Used Husband in Fair Condition who screamed, "I was married for thirty years and I treat you and other women the way I treated my wife...as though we have all this established familiarity between us so I didn't have to try hard anymore." I think a lot of the guys are like that, unfortunately. I should probably make more of an effort to get on every night and just see if there's anyone new, because I'm sure the 'good ones' get snapped up fairly quickly, and I want to submit by bid before it's too late :)16/11/2017 #5 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess"What a contrast to the middle-aged men’s photos - out-of-focus, schlumpy, badly-dressed, and often scowling or unsmiling. I sift through, knowing looks aren’t everything and in all honesty, I really am more interested in how closely we match."
Once I catch my breath from laughing, @Nicole Chardenet ... yes. Absolutely right! I spent a few years (a few years ago) going through the usual sites -- most of them decent enough -- to find very few men who took took care of themselves. Really. Men don't have to be handsome -- especially at this age although the ones that do take care of themselves sure do look goooooooood -- but 75 lbs overweight? No exercise? No interest in anything? Watch TV all day, go out for a few beers at night?
I found a few nice men -- they do exist -- but several wanted to travel all the time, and I have put down some nice roots where I am.
One of my "problems" is that I could be retired -- according to the statistics -- but what the heck would I do with myself? I don't have a lot of hobbies. I'm pretty much an introvert, except when I can't be. I love my work! I love gardening. I love reading. I love walking my dogs 4-5 miles in decent weather most days! I love living my life -- my way.
What I've decided is simple: I like living alone. Simple. Easy. Fun.
Cue Sinatra: My Way.16/11/2017 #4 Nicole Chardenet#3 Hi David, thanks for stopping by and casting your lot in on the dating scene. I'm quite curious as to what it's like on the other side. I'm not surprised you got ignored or just not much responded to, I've heard that a lot from guys. And it occurred to me later that all those great gals might be closet crazies...I've also heard about 'the crazies' from my male friends. Getting to know people in real life is probably way better than doing it online, but it's harder to do in Toronto where the men live in abject fear that if they're not very, very careful they might get laid :) I'm not sure why Toronto men are so frigid but I suspect 'the crazies' - uber-feminists - are behind it, as a Millennial friend of mine found a photo of some graffiti someone wrote on a wall somewhere that said, "Toronto women turn men gay!" And I know the feminists here have brought new dimension to the word 'crazy'!
I'm finding that doing the research as one goes along brings expectations into line and makes you waaaaay better at screening out the inappropriate candidates (meaning inappropriate for *you*, not that she sends you dick pics, LOL). I'm sorry you got dumped by your ex. I hope you finally meet the right person and remember, *learn* all you can about dating, women, emotions, all that stuff...it really does make a difference and the more you know, the less powerless and out of control you'll feel. Most people, both genders, don't do this and we should. We research the hell out of just buying a simple mobile, why do we keep spinning our wheels in the dating scene and then withdraw like angry kittens spitting, "All wo/men are assholes!"?15/11/2017 #3 David DisneyFantastic article!! I was thrown into the depths of single hood after my wife of 7 years and together for more then 11 years (High School Sweetheart) cheated on me. Split ways, and I was not excited. Both from a heartbreak side, and also a "Crap what do I do now" I hadn't dated since High School!! I'm 30 and my last date with someone other than my ex wife consisted something like an awkward A&W cruise night date in 2004 (or close to that time frame). I did think that the dating apps made it simple so of course I tried all the standard ones and spent hours updating my profiles, including all about myself, and really wanting to connect with someone on a meaningful level. I guess I spent far too much time listing the books I love, favorite Hobbies, and what not, because in the end when I finally got to the searching portion, and swiping a certain direction, or winking at, or heart, or whatever the apps needed, I found quickly that the attractive girls didn't need any form of bio, just hot pictures. I guess that works for the majority of my Gender base, however I wanted to connect deeper then that, I wanted to TALK to these girls, not take them to a bar and slither my way back home to bed them.Well I spent awhile searching, and it just was awful, so i went back to the old school way, and just talked to people in or around my circle of friends. Worked a lot better for me! I think your article can work for both sides depending on what you're looking for. I never found all of those amazing women you were speaking of. Hopefully the men you are looking for will shape up a bit and post who they are, not what they look like!!
- Producer10/11/2017GOP Re-Branding Tax Cut BillRepublicans need a win in Washington, and they are hoping their new tax-cutting legislation is the Hail Mary for victory.Unfortunately, like their various health care bills, it is not popular with voters. Only 36% of voters approve of giving tax...
Comments10/11/2017 #1 Phil FriedmanThe rallying cry of the IWW (Industrial Workers of the World, founded 1905 and nicknamed the "Wobblies") was "Make the rich pay!" The Republican party seems to have turned that slogan on its ear and morphed it into "Make the poor and the middle class (who will soon be poor) pay... for everything."
- Producer07/11/2017Law Proposed To Eliminate “Evil”Lamar Dewackle, a Republican Representative from Texas, has had enough of mass shootings in America, and he’s going to do something about it!Dewackle is proposing a law that would “address a major problem with innovative thinking.” He spoke to The...
- Producer03/11/2017Feeling Flush?OK now let's talk crap! You know, the s__t word, and it isn't slit, spit, smit or skit.At least once a day, most of us (the lucky majority who are not afflicted with irregular 'movements') take time out from, or prior to, our busy day, to visit the...
Comments21/11/2017 #44 Nicole ChardenetIs there one of whom you wish most simply to be rid? :)
Try Black Widows In The Privy!
Ironically, I just watched a British documentary recently on the history of toilets. I found it on Youtube by the process of elimination :)10/11/2017 #42 Randall BurnsHaHa! Very enjoyable, entertaining and educational read @Ken Boddie I have to say that we do have a toilet seat up here in Canada made from a specific type of Styrofoam/Epoxy mix that is used for outhouses for cabins, camps, fishing huts, etc. that regardless of ambient temp it feels "neutral" when you sit down on them, I used one numerous years ago at a friend's cottage in the outhouse when it was -40 out and no shock at all, quite amazing actually. :-) (Everything would freeze solid though before it hit the bottom of the pit, quite disconcerting as it sounded like a bunch of marbles falling on cement)06/11/2017 #40 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador#34 Haha @Ken Boddie. If you want an ultimate experience in using a bathroom, the Porsche dealership my area has taken the lead in pampering. One can walk out as a new person after the spritz and glitz, perfect nails and hair giving one a distinctive flair, clothes steamed and cleaned making one all agleam, oh and the tush warmer makes one want to stay there all day! Perhaps, they should offer a buffet and teach ballet - oops, I got carried away.06/11/2017 #37 Ken Boddie#33 Curiosity eventually got the better of me, @Pascal Derrien, because I was sitting here thinking "I just don't know Jack Sh_t". Well, now that you've inspired me to find out all about the Irish inventor of the 'Multipoo', Jack Power (aka Armitage Shank), no doubt inspired by his 38 children and a love of that frothy dark amber bowel-moving nectar, Guinness, I can now safely say that I do indeed know 'Jack sh_t'. Slàinte 🍺05/11/2017 #27 Ken Boddie#23 Louise and @Lada 🏡 Prkic.
The ATO is very slow,
Its new squat lavs quite ‘a propos’,
For the French, it appears, were pioneers,
Of squatting low, knees round their ears,
But either way, when it’s time to trot,
It matters not where you prop your bot,
When the need arises, we all know,
When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.
- Producer03/11/2017Are YOU Free this Friday Funday?Don't you love how words have different meanings, depending on context? Of course, it makes learning any language that much more difficult, but for native speakers, it gives us a chuckle to see how some words can be misunderstood, either...
- Producer29/10/2017Trump Reveals Solution To Opioid CrisisPresident Donald J. Trump recently declared the opioid epidemic a “health emergency.” While this move won’t earmark federal funds for opioid addiction treatments or negotiating lower prices for Naloxone, an opioid overdose drug, he proposed a bigger...
- Producer04/10/2017The Bug WhispererDedicated to my friend and 'Mom yet to beBee' ...🐝 Fatima G. Williams...Who takes the ingredients of a good conversation and creates delicious honey;-) You will be a Great mom someday! I'd like to launch this hive with one of my favorite...
Comments04/10/2017 #25 Cyndi wilkins#20 #22 Would have meant cardiac arrest for me @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal! Glad you enjoyed the story;-)
She's a young lady of thirteen now @🐝 Fatima G. Williams...I will soon be crafting a post on 'Puberty meets Menopause'...As you can imagine the content is sure to be quite different;-)04/10/2017 #20 Proma 🐝 Nautiyal@Cyndi wilkins I absolutely loved (loved, loved) this beautiful story. Your daughter is indeed a precious child with a golden heart. The fact that she gave the roach credit for helping her find that the phone was missing, and went on to give it a nice funeral shows how kind she is. Such compassion for such a little girl. God bless her!
P.S. Killing a roach of that size is absolutely acceptable. I would have fainted right there anyways. She is brave, too!04/10/2017 #17 Cyndi wilkins#15 #16 I wish I could say the energy comes from me...when in fact, I believe mine has spawned from her...I was quite a different person before she entered my life...Children change everything...and they teach us everything thing we need to know about ourselves...If we just 'LISTEN.' They are the whispers of angels;-)
Interesting how the idea for this hive came from a commented that @🐝 Fatima G. Williams had made to me on @Lisa Vanderburg's buzz "Introspection"...
Another great tribute to the love we moms have for our children...and dad's too;-)04/10/2017 #12 Cyndi wilkins#9 I often comment about how important it is to teach our children reverence for all of life...when in fact, it we treat THEM as such, they will teach all of us...And believe @Deb 🐝 Helfrich and @Lisa Vanderburg...I hear ya on the math...I checked out in the second grade;-)04/10/2017 #11 Cyndi wilkins#6 Gotta tell ya @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...almost TOO passionate! Killing insects is not permitted in my household when she is around...and every time we visit the pool or take a swim at the lake, she will stop whatever she is doing to save any little creature she finds struggling to survive...One absolutely amazing moment I witnessed with her was when she was about six years old...she pulled a dragonfly out of the pool and lovingly dried it's wings by gently blowing on them and whispering..."you'll be okay once I dry your wings...then you can fly away."
Now I tell you that dragonfly looked dead to me...and two elderly ladies that had been in the pool said it had been floating around there for quite some time...but the kid didn't give up on it...Just sat there talking to it and tapping it on the head...I swear these two old ladies thought she was bonkers until about 45 minutes into her rescue efforts the wings began to flutter...I kid you not...Five minutes later, it flew away!04/10/2017 #9 Deb 🐝 HelfrichLovely story, @Cyndi wilkins. The purity of youth always helps us see with clarity. I thought I'd be a physicist until I took my first physics class. It seemed to me quite interesting to ponder the world of quarks and sub-atomic particles. And then one day I looked under the cover of that textbook and HORRORS! math was involved.
I had to pivot one major forward in the college catalog into the ever loving arms of philosophy.
- Producer15/07/2017Good Humor A humorous post lights up my day. It shifts my outlook on the world and on that which happens to us all. A funny post relaxes, makes us smile, gets us to breathe a bit more, and yes, most probably makes us happier. Dale Carnegie said: “People...
Comments28/10/2017 #33 Robert CormackGood piece, @Gert Scholtz. There's very little that doesn't make me laugh, whether it's sociological, pathological or presidential. Fortunately, we're here, able to laugh, and sometimes able to put it into funny prose. Nice list of writers here, all capable of putting humour where it belongs (until one of us gets arrested or sued). Until then, we can enjoy each other's fine words arranged in humorous and satirical fashion, and hopefully that makes everyone's day a little bit brighter (although Paul living in Bali really doesn't need any more brightness than he has already). Thanks for the post, Gert. Always enjoy your stuff.17/07/2017 #29 VDS BrinkLovely Gert! Humour is music for the soul. I wrote on it for Toastmasters. It is the most difficult form of public speaking as humour is not a joke, it is looking innovatively at the oddities of life, more here: http://vdsarticles.blogspot.co.za/2011/09/art-of-humor.html16/07/2017 #24 Shelley Brown@Gert Scholtz! Wow so exciting to be included with this amazing group of writers I'm honored. I can't wait to get a good laugh reading the other stories you've listed here. I agree, a humorous story can provide relief from a great laugh, change negative energy and certainly change my entire outlook! Cheers!!!!16/07/2017 #23 Randall Burns#21 Thank You @Gert Scholtz While I thoroughly enjoyed the post I didn't leave a comment as I'm not that familiar with the game. I worked with an English chef, (BIG Guy), in Toronto in the 80's who was a nut about rugby, played every weekend, and talked me into going to play with him. I said I would go and watch first, and take pictures. LOL, after watching I realized that I would probably never play as my sense of self preservation was too strong, but I used to go regularly with him to take photos. I have some friggin hilarious shots that personify your humorous dialogue here. I participate in more than enough other sports and physical activity to keep me in shape. :-) It is a great game though...
- Producer20/10/2017A Fabulous Friday Funday!Why is it fabulous? Well, I live in the northeast part of the U.S., and it’s late October. Our normal temperatures are around 60 for this time of year, but we’ve been treated lately to temps nearing 80! And it’s Friday, the start of a weekend to end...
Comments21/10/2017 #14 Proma 🐝 NautiyalI loved them all, @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess! First of all, once I saw the skiing rabbit, I couldn't find the bird again (at least for some time). That followed by the double positives, the essay on peas, the grammar doctor badge, and finally the mommy cat who ran out of toner, made my day. Thank you so much for the lovely buzz!
- Producer18/10/2017The Present Moment, Frankly, Sucks!This post originally appeared on Aurorasa Entertainment, the "unprofessional" blog of Aurorasa Sima, Emotional Intelligence, Empowerment & Success coach. Some of you might remember her from her beBee days. She and I reconnected on LinkedIn...
Comments21/10/2017 #9 Nicole Chardenet#8 Funny you should mention a Vietnamese prison. Not that I'm planning to go to one, but I want to go to Vietnam, maybe next year...I'm curious as to why the Vietnamese people don't hate Americans. I get it with the military...the North is like, "Why should we hate you? We won!" and the South is like, "Thanks for trying. We didn't win, but we appreciate your effort." It's the *people* I'm interested in...if anyone should hate Americans it's the Vietnamese people and they don't...I wonder if it's the Buddhist attitude?20/10/2017 #6 Nicole Chardenet#3 Well I'm still hoping my cat's-eye sunglasses are cooler than yours, Zacharias :) I wonder sometimes how people do it in truly desperate situations. Thich Nhat Hanh has written about trying to practice mindfulness and calming when he was in a Vietnamese prison. I think I'd be a head case in that situation. But not only did he manage to keep himself calm enough to get through it, he did it without any lasting anger at his jailers. He's a better man than I, Gunga Din!20/10/2017 #5 Nicole Chardenet#2 Well I tell you, Lisa, mindfulness and meditation has really helped me, and I had money issues for the past year and a half until I got this new job. Even when I knew my old job was on the line (you can always tell...) and was jobhunting, I would have occasional anxiety attacks but they were fewer and farther between and not as bad as they usually were. I would walk and remind myself that most of what we worry about never happens. And that we can never be prepared for *everything*. It takes awhile for your mind to get acclimated but I've begun to notice in the last few months or so (after having been at it for over a year) that my mind is calmer and less prone to craziness. It doesn't stop completely - apparently it never stops for *anyone* including people who are masters at meditation - but it doesn't control you nearly as much.
However, one thing I've read is that if you have a lot of trauma in your past it's not a good idea to do this without a therapist to help you through...because once you start focusing on yourself, your body, and your presence, the Bad Stuff comes up, and that's the stuff we avoid our entire lives. For a middle-class whiner like me it's not as traumatic as it is for folks who have serious PTSD when past events (whether they recognize it as such or not). When the Really Bad Stuff comes up you need to be prepared with a strong support at your back.20/10/2017 #4 Nicole Chardenet#1 I hear you, Pamela! I have family on Long Island, NY and when I was still living in Connecticut and visiting them during the summer I used to walk the beach down to a jetty made of large stones and boulders and just sit and contemplate the vastness of it all. I think I got spoiled last summer with all the great weather (sometimes *TOO* hot!) and working from home I could enjoy it more with my computer out on the balcony. This year, the weather was cooler and crappier so I spent less time on the porch. Now I have an office job downtown so next year's rants will concern how the rain waits until the weekend to dampen my parade :)19/10/2017 #3 Zacharias 🐝 VoulgarisYeah, the weather can be a downer, urging us to flee to days where there was this yellow orb in the sky making things warmer and brighter... But let's face it, most of the days in one's life are either mundane or just plain painful. Mindfulness (or "joy in sorrow" as the Christians refer to it) is all about experiencing the moment nevertheless and perhaps some joy through the whole process. And this definitely leaves plenty of room for other things, including wearing cool cat's-eye sunglasses :-)19/10/2017 #2 Lisa 🐝 GallagherMy mind is thinking and over thinking all the time. I need to find a way to slow it down. Like Pam wrote below, the Ocean is really one of the few things that truly calms and settles my mind. My husband offered to get me virtual shades and a tape of the Ocean (he was partly joking). I need the real thing. I enjoyed your buzz, you take a semi-boring topic (it shouldn't be boring) and bring it alive with your visuals and yes, your white privilege, LOL! If I could use mindfulness to stop my incessant worry over money issues... well, I'd be doing great. I need to find a place that brings me peace and quiet and try it but I tend to get lazy in the colder months.19/10/2017 #1 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsI loved this piece Nicole. I guess we all have those times in our life where it's all about "me". I find nature to be the ultimate trigger for bringing me back to the present and down to earth. The ocean especially has this effect on me. Watching the power of the waves, the sheer expanse and depths of these dark waters will usually put life back into perspective. When I'm in it's presence; I don't want to talk or think I just want to contemplate the beauty of it. It's why I love the early dawn hours on the beach; it's just me, the waves, and the sun peaking over the horizon. I feel my every breath, the tingle of the salt air on my skin, I feel alive rather than just existing.
- Producer11/10/2017The Situation To Be Trump's New Sec. of StateLeave it to this White House to keep things interesting!In an exclusive scoop, The Lint Screen has learned Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will soon be named the new Secretary of State, replacing Rex Tillerson.A sneaky, loose-lipped White House...
- Producer04/10/2017NRA Supports Citizen Rights To Bear Nuclear ArmsIn the aftermath of the Las Vegas tragedy, the National Rifle Association is proposing a solution — more arms, and more firepower!Yesterday, Wayne LaPierre, Jr., Exec. V.P. of the NRA addressed a national convention of members and said the recent...
- 04/10/2017I'm sure that if they made a remake of Batman but with a cat as the main character, many people would watch it, not to mention many cats!
- 04/10/2017The ultimate Millennial nightmare..."OMG, he's totes not on Facebook!!!"
:)A Modern Dating Horror Story! "I don't know what to do..." Credit: Comic...
- Producer03/10/2017The Skipper Breaks Gilligan's HeartA three-hour cruise resulted in a never-ending hell for Gilligan, The Skipper, too, the millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann.The fateful trip started at a tropic port on April 17, 1967, aboard a tiny ship.The mate was a...
- 03/10/2017More 21st Century Shenanigans
Have we achieved the "we do this because we can" status on connected devices? Do you really want a device like this in your house?Alexa, Can You Stop Listening to the Television?www.electronicdesign.com “Conversational awareness is the next big thing,” said Mark Lippett, the chief executive of Xmos, which makes multicore microcontrollers that can capture...
- Producer30/09/2017Trump Takes Credit For Presidents Cup LeadAt the end of a typical day, the offices of The Lint Screen are littered with empty bourbon, rye, and gin bottles, overflowing ashtrays, and crumpled fedoras planted with cards reading PRESS.In this setting, the calm after covering another...
Humor (English)8K buzzes