- Producer31/08/2016My Childhood Abusive Story (Part 3)14/15 Years old and the Child abuse was still going on in my life. I was so scared now. I dern't do anything let alone ask my parents for anything I needed. Still going to the A.C.F i kept quiet still. I loved it so much and that was the only other...
Comments03/09/2016 #21 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#18 Thank you for your kind words, and look how far we have come. I'm so proud that you can give more of yourself now...and having some closure to be able to say you dealt with it as much as possible ~ I don't think you could talk about this unless you are at a good place now. So I'm really, really proud.03/09/2016 #19 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#17 @Kirstie-Sweetie Louise, You Made Honey! New Door for Abused Children. @Leckey Harrison, @Phillip Louis D 'Amato, @WILLIAM C. BALLARD II, @Hemu Rayamajhi, @Naeem Masih, @CityVP Manjit, @debasish majumder, @prabhakara rao rajarapu, @Pamela L. Williams, @Ray Looker, @Victoria Lewin, @RAVINDER VIJ, @Darryl John, @A. hussain Mohammed, @Mohammed A. Jawad, @Mohammed A. Jawad, @Annmarie Sherlock, @Anna Valadzko, @Anne Kleinman, @Gordon Pye, @Stacy Hall, @Bill Stankiewicz, @Jim Cody, @Vincent King, @Randy Keho, @Gerald Hecht, @Phil Friedman, @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian, @Leckey Harrison, @Tommy McElroy, MD, @Cristian Randieri, PhD -President & CEO of Intellisystem.it @C_Randieri, @Oliver McGee, PhD, MBA, CFRM, AFWCI, @Tosin Ojajuni, PhD, @Michele Williams, @Anees Zaidi, @Adriana Bevacqua García, @Ali Anani.03/09/2016 #18 Kirstie-Sweetie Louise#14 You don't have to be sorry for anything. Knowing i have an adopted mum now is the best thing that has happened to me over these few years.
I have never known love the way you love me mum, and I will always love you for that always.
Spending time with loved ones knowing they don't have much time for example my Grandad is the most heartbreaking story for me. Oops i think I've just given a bit of part 4 away and no one has read it yet.
Part 4 is up and is waiting for all to read. Thank you all. I can't explain.how much all this support means to me.03/09/2016 #17 Kirstie-Sweetie LouiseI've been thinking a lot about opening support groups everywhere i can. Knowing what to say is easy & hard because it all depends on the age range. You have to be extremely careful with what you say to ages between 4-10yr olds. They are still Vunreble at that age and still may hide it and may not want to come out.
Like me with you @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD I've just come out and knowing that I finally had someone who knows when my brick wall goes up. Yes i still may be vunrable but only a little now.
I have gotten alot stronger since i wrote parts 1-4. Oh yes, they is more to come over the weeks but I'm starting to enjoy writing, but indeed we need to spread much awareness as possible about the truth of Child abuse.03/09/2016 #16 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#6 Whenever you don't understand, you keep on saying just what you said. Sometimes, these Comment streams are a wealth of Sweet Honey -sparking more ideas, thoughts, actions stirred on by the Conversation. Speaking of that, is there a Child Abuse Hotline or a group that you could volunteer some on-line time? Because I think you know what to say to other children that need to talk to someone that actually knows what to say.03/09/2016 #14 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#12 I have to say that I'm really sorry for all you've been through. I want to especially take the time to apologize for all the people (most importantly, doctors) that perhaps could have diagnosed Child Abuse in you while you were still young. I'm really, really sorry about t that.03/09/2016 #13 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 Amen, @Mark Anthony - as a doctor with many years of experience seeing such things first-hand, there's just no other way to put it in perspective but to Shine a Light and Find the Positive. And that's exactly what @Kirstie-Sweetie Louise is doing! Now, Kirstie, I think you've found your Calling.03/09/2016 #10 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#2 @Mark Anthony: Thank you for being so bold as to make the first Comment validating @Kirstie-Sweetie Louise for being extremely courageous to tell her own story, for the greater good of having her suffering turn into golden rescue for even one child. So much appreciate you at this moment. Thank you.03/09/2016 #9 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#1 WoW. I'm caught up in so many things. First of all, now I know why you miss your Grandpa so much. This drives it home like no words can say. I love the video. It is hard, but so is the life of the child who had to bear all. There's no comparison - we should all be able to watch it to help increase awareness. I also love the importance of people who are potential Rescuers on 'the periphery:' Doctors, Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, pastors, neighbors, teachers, all. You are My Hero.02/09/2016 #8 Miguel Angel Yóbal Cuacua#6 It is sad as there are people so wicked as if they were demons ensañados against children represent innocence and tenderness, children need to be protected, loved and guided to make them good adults, it saddens me greatly every I see some information about child abuse, child sexual abuse, among others that threaten children.
It comes to mind the case of a seven year old girl who was prostituted by the same mother to earn a few pesos and bring food to the other children.
If the stepfather abuse of a four year old girl and her sister seven against the mother of these, a woman who also showed signs of abuse (torn ears, nipples bitten and one of the buttocks the name of the assailant.
these cases and others allowed me titration with the theme "Family Violence in Tort for Children in Huatusco, Veracruz, period 2000-2004"
today after twelve years again back those memories and it is impossible not to shed a tear for many children, women and elderly in the complete abandonment and at the mercy of their tormentors, those executioners who usually sometimes found in the same household.
does not speak English, however copy and paste in the google translator to read the information you published although the videos are the universal language. Thank you e-Sweetie Louise@Kirstie-Sweetie Louise01/09/2016 #5 Miguel Angel Yóbal CuacuaEs triste como existen personas tan malvadas como si fueran demonios ensañados en contra de los niños que representan la inocencia y ternura, niños que necesitan ser protegidos, amados y guiados para hacer de ellos unos buenos adultos, me entristece enormemente cada que veo alguna información sobre el maltrato infantil, abuso sexual infantil, entre otros que atentan contra la niñez.
viene a mi mente el caso de una niña de siete años que fue prostituida por la misma madre para ganar unos cuantos pesos y llevar comida a los demás hijos.
el caso de el padrastro que abuso de una niña de cuatro años y su hermanita de siete frente a la madre de estas, mujer que también presentaba marcas de maltrato (orejas desgarradas, pezones mordidos y en uno de los glúteos el nombre del agresor.
estos casos y otros me permitieron la titulación con el tema "la Violencia Familiar en Agravio del Menor, en Huatusco, Veracruz, periodo 2000-2004"
hoy después de doce años nuevamente regresan esos recuerdos y es imposible no derramar una lagrima por tantos niños y niñas, mujeres y ancianos en el completo abandono y a merced de sus verdugos, esos verdugos que por lo regular aveces se encuentran en el mismo hogar.
- Producer25/08/2016My Childhood Abusive Story (Part 1)I can't remember much about my childhood but i'm going to start at age 11 Years Old!Just finishing Primary School and entering the teenage stages and going to start Secondary School. 11 Years Old is when you're just starting to be A teenager and...
Comments26/08/2016 #10 Lisa GallagherI'm so sorry you experienced what you did @Kirstie-Sweetie Louise. I think to share it and write about it is a major step towards healing. It's stories like yours which will give others courage to write openly too. You were a victim and I will continue to send good thoughts your way. Thank for sharing this, it takes a lot of courage to write something so personal. Please keep sharing, there are many who care!!26/08/2016 #9 Randy Smith#1 Thank you for taking this step of sharing a part of your life which was difficult and painful in ways I really don't know. I am sorry that you suffered mistreatment and abuse at the hands of your "dad" and mam. By God's grace, He will continue to heal your heart and bring good from what you endured.25/08/2016 #3 Kirstie-Sweetie Louise#2 It was hard to think of what to say, but soon as I found the courage from you as a writer mum I knew I could do it. It's all thanks to you I have come out to almost everyone. To increase awareness is another thing I would like to do, but getting this out is the first step to a better future for us. So Thank You @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD for the whole inspiration you have shown me.25/08/2016 #2 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD@Kirstie-Sweetie Louise: You are so brave to share this for the greatest good, the image and the plea in the picture you selected. I'm just in awe at the beautiful young lady that you have grown to be since we met. This is a real turning point in your being able to prevent child abuse by increasing awareness of something people do want to hide. Nothing but love and kindness going your way now. ((Hugs)) ~mum
- Producer16/07/2016Carry meYou come from the lovely country of your childhood Its sweet gardens and its runlets of innocence You come from the broken heart of a brotherhood Growing in absence, half little girl and half silence When night was coming down,...
Comments27/07/2016 #13 Hervé SabattierThank you for your nice words Pamela. Well, I trust it's just a question of love. It's a love story. Though the love from a daughter to her father is certainly different than the love from a lady to her lover or her husband, at the end it's still love. Only love. Only love remains. And to really love, you need to remember and see the world through your child's eyes...27/07/2016 #12 Pamela L. WilliamsAs I read your poem @Hervé Sabattier I had the thought that it was about a young child and the safety that a father brings to them. Then as I read it was the relationship between a man and woman. Then I had the thought; it could be both. The feelings a young girl has for her father is what she looks for in the man she spends her adult life with, that allows her to come in contact with the young girl within the woman. Beautiful! I loved it made me think all of this.24/07/2016 #11 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#9 Ahhhh. I beat you to it, so sorry but not really, as I wrote an entire Buzz using Google Translate...sorry for that hit. BUt even with the computer program, the translation was super startling in its depth. And I have requested a translation not just for me, but at your decision so we can all see what you see. Here's the English translation, choppy yet pure: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@margaret-aranda/the-miracle-of-love and I was inspired to write my own poem in response, however un-elegant in English, sir @@Hervé Sabattier, please forgive me: My Subsequent Poem: The Gift at Bay: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@margaret-aranda/the-gift-at-bay . What love in the beeeHive reigns today!17/07/2016 #8 Joanna HofmanYour poem " Carry me" is a beautiful way to express the emotions which we keep deeply like a wish in our inner world. many moons ago I was hit by Pablo Neruda :
"Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep. "
But today I was touched by poem of Herve Sabattier ! Merci !17/07/2016 #7 Anonymous#5 Why yes, your line breaks always appear conscious, and yet so elegantly understated. Pure beauty. :) In this one, I love the idea of this one line "Invent me once again.." Lovely, @Hervé Sabattier View more#5 Why yes, your line breaks always appear conscious, and yet so elegantly understated. Pure beauty. :) In this one, I love the idea of this one line "Invent me once again.." Lovely, @Hervé Sabattier! I wish my French was better then I could read all of your writing! ;) Close
- Producer17/07/2016My Memoir Madness: Part 1This started from Dr. Margaret's post and honey - find it here:Starting Line Writing Challenge: Memoir MadnessWhere she asks, 'What is your first memory?'. I had an exceptionally shitty childhood. I remember none of it before age 5. Every...
Comments17/07/2016 #2 Brian McKenzie#1 Day 1 in Boot is always shell shock.... not nearly as fun as the day they put a 16 yo in charge of the company barracks. Good times - talk about attitude adjustments - not a lot of people like taking orders from a 16 year old. Nearly all of my family did time in the military - I was well aware of the games they played - it was really just 'Camp Happy' with as Col Jessup put it - faggety white uniforms. * Marine Corps PLDC was another game entirely - they kicked my ass.17/07/2016 #1 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDI would entitle this: Hippy Child Abuse and a Good Grandpa Escape. Brutally honest, but I would expect nothing less from you. I'm sorry for the bad, and I see what you can do. There's so much more to you. Your brain is beautiful, something that re-wired itself to survive. I'll never call you a victim, for that does not reside. You are a Warrior, once upon a time...when children were supposed to be children, your Grandpa taught you about time. He gave you food, life, history, and sustenance. And for this, you thrive. Keep writing, my friend, as it is truly real life and we cannot be spared to look through the eyes of an adult whose body was only that of a child. Break forth, as you have always done, to conquer another quest that is before you in the military. How was your first day?
- 30/06/2016If you have suffered Child Abuse at the hands of your "parent(s)," "step-parent(s)," or Foster "parent(s)," then I picked out this song for you.
If Jesus can walk on the waters, and He is holding His hand out to you in your storms and lightening and thunder.....then take His hand. Trust Him. You shall walk upon the waters too, wherever He shall lead you.
For more on this, see my blog, "Perseverance: Be that One-in-a-Million:" http://drmargaretaranda.blogspot.com.tr/2016/06/for-mental-health-healing-by-christ-song.htmlHillsong United - Oceans Where Feet My Fail [Zion Acoustic Sessions] (Live)
- 30/06/2016Invisible Illnesses: Child AbuseInvisible Illnesses: Child Abuse We break the rules on reporting on Child Abuse & the bigger 'taboo,' sexual assault of a minor.
- 30/06/2016There is much room to increase awareness, invoke public support, and give it your best shot! We provide the shelter overnight!Invisible Illnesses: Child AbuseInvisible Illnesses: Child Abuse We break the rules on reporting on Child Abuse & the bigger 'taboo,' sexual assault of a minor.
- 12/06/2016The shooting in Orlando will have lasting impacts on many people, like secondary trauma. This is why we need a trauma informed society, and better trauma solutions.
Hurt people, hurt people. We need to heal to quit hurting people, be it with words, or weapons. It starts with us, as individuals. This is why I do what I do.
- Producer16/06/2016My GrandPa's Garden and The Mating of My Own IdeasIn this post I have done an experiment. I have tried 'mating' some of my own ideas scattered over at different places. My readers would judge how best I could do that....
Comments01/07/2016 #40 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#39 You are so right. Perhaps the pressures of money, a job, paying bills, and living in the "rat race" isn't so good after age 50. That was the 'old' retirement age in the USA in the 70's. Now, retirement is at age 65. But lots of Baby Boomers are still switching professions at 50 years of age, and perhaps that is a measure that people don't really want to lose their 'childhood.' It's just fun to be child-like...after seeing so many people die, I just feel so free to really "live" the way God is leading me. It's all good!01/07/2016 #39 Anees Zaidi#37 Dear @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD 'desire to never grow up' is highly appealing. But your desire to have babies and toddlers around you, and your love to write Children's books speaks of child sitting inside you. We grow up physically but we always carry a child inside us. And this 'child' sitting inside us shows up more often when we reach to our ripe age. Isn't it?01/07/2016 #38 Anees Zaidi#34 Dear @Mohamed Amroussi yours is a powerful statement - childhood 'have to be well understood and nurtured'. Sometime we keep nurturing childhood to the best of our ability but we don't 'understand' it or we 'misunderstand' it that leads to unfulfilled expectations. Thanks for your time to read and comment upon the post.01/07/2016 #37 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#34 I think that having children of your own keeps you swinging on the swing set at the park....and watching nothing but "G"- rated movies with imagination and color. So, after having my son when I was 19, and then having my daughter when I was 42....I quite think that I decided that I'm 'never' going to grow up. I still want babies and toddlers around me, and love to write Children's books (more are in my head than on a shelf, lol). Here's to eternal childhood!30/06/2016 #29 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#27 @Franci Eugenia Hoffman: Indeed....and when the soul is troubled and there is no one around but a bridge over troubled waters, that is where the doctor is sought. Do doctors, medications, and music all heal in the same ways? I shall write on this due to the spurring on, so gently done by lovely @Anees Zaidi. This all is part of a huge chain of Buzzes on "Love" and "I Love You: What does it Mean?" that @Ali Anani has so rightfully incited in the BeeHives!30/06/2016 #28 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#26 @Anees Zaidi: With the inspiration you have given me to look at my poetic side of writing, I shall make a meager attempt to incorporate these ideas together with all the issues facing a medical doctor. WoW ~ I truly thank you for your encouragement....thank you. I shall write, and dedicate it to you and @Ali Anani for starting this great wheel of love.30/06/2016 #25 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#24 @Anees Zaidi: Yes, and I still love the music from the 60's and 70's. A pariticular song takes me back to "exactly where I was" when I heard a fantastic song with fantastic visual pictures, too. Good memories and reminiscences are treatments for Alzheimer's disease and dementia. The brain secretes "happy" hormones, exactly like a drug. That is why music is soothing to the soul. Just pick the right songs for you. What do you think, @Rebel Brown, @Sara Jacobovici, @Brian McKenzie, @Selim Yeniçeri, @Franci Eugenia Hoffman, @Ali Anani? Music = Medicine.27/06/2016 #24 Anees Zaidi#22 Dear @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD thank you for your thoughtful comment. I also feel happy to be raised in 60s and 70s when our values and priorities were different. Going to grandparents house over the weekend was permanent routine for us. We were more close to the nature and its splendid beauty. We used to live shared life. Now we see sharing only in virtual world.
- Producer21/06/2016Greatest Show On EarthFor investors who have and an out of the box mindset you may want to take a look at Flash Back Academy. If your money has gotten you to a place where it has now become important to be concerned about how people will remember you. It might be a good...
- Producer19/06/2016Not Your Usual Lessons From My FatherMy father taught me a lot about life. Certainly more than I needed to know as a child, more than any of us need to know. Yet for the first 48 years of my life, I didn't even know those lessons existed.My father was an abuser. So was his mother, my...
Comments27/06/2016 #39 Rebel Brown#38 Hi @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD I dont believe in self competition. Its a program from society that does little for us thats positive and sets us up to create more limiting programs about ourselves and our worth. We dont need to prove anything or compete for anything. We are perfect just the way we are. I focus on being kind to myself, honoring myself and building myself up. Which leads to more positive programming and better results. Just sayin...23/06/2016 #37 Rebel Brown#36 @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD Thanks for all your support sistah. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And that's a choice. We can choose to give up, turn our face to the darkness and fall. Or we can stand up, dust off, face the light and step into our freedom. I simply chose the light. Blessings Margaret.23/06/2016 #36 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#19 You got it, Girl! We can ROAARR for the next woman, and the future generations! @Rebel Brown is a shining role model, and we need this so immensely in Women's Mental Health, which in turn affects Women's Health in general! It's a domino effect we all are inspired to keep every day, thanks to wonderful and powerful people like Rebel and her 'instant' message!23/06/2016 #34 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#33 Amen to that! Children are a blessing and anyone abusing a child will face their Maker and receive Judgement. I do pray that abusers pray for forgiveness from their own children as they are adults...of course, this provides great healing for both. And if we forgive all who have hurt us, or all that hate us, we allow our bitterness to leave our hearts as we give up the negative! So stay positive, turn negative into the molded claypot of spiritual gifts, and gain strength in KNOWing that you shall, in return, be able to help the rest of the world like no one else!22/06/2016 #33 Mohammed A. JawadUgh...deviant attitude breeds dry, rude culture. Oftentimes, history repeats and people instead of correcting themselves spew their spoils on others, become arrogant and bereft of compassion. In such times, the essential and sublime solution is the right guidance that comes as a shimmering pathway. When people embrace it with upright faith and cancel spots of all vain hopelessness, there comes solace, pulsating confidence and urge to learn good precepts for bettering lives.22/06/2016 #32 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#30 I'm all about being a rebel, and motivating others, especially young teen girls, to be a rebel for a good cause. Great point, great Hive, great rebel you are...and a fine and outstanding RebelExample, too! We shall empower women to BE themselves! For inside each one of us is a rebel just waiting to be freed.22/06/2016 #31 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDWhat strength you have grasped, in the right 'timing' of life. I know that you know that you wouldn't be who you are if it weren't for the horrid experiences you underwent as an innocent child. But I love the inner strength you found, and the final resolution to make the damn best of things and get your life back, for yourself. For now, I cannot imagine beBee without you. You left an indelible mark in this post, one that speaks to millions of adults who suffered horrific abuse at the hands of one or both parents, even if the 'silent' parent was aware but did nothing. You ARE whole! You ARE a fine role model, and you are a lioness with great magic to rightfully rule her own kingdom. RROOOAARRR!22/06/2016 #30 Rebel Brown#29 Well said @CityVP Manjit "How can we get to any kind of restorative justice if condemnation is what is in our hearts?" That's my sentiment exactly when it comes to the state of the US and our political free for all this year. What are we thinking? Rage and anger, condemnation and profiling are not the paths to freedom. Nor is hiding the truth of our lives and our world from others ... the former destroys nations and the latter destroys ourselves. It's funny. I never even thought of staying quiet when I have information and understanding to share with others. Yet so many of my friends couldn't understand why I would ever share my story or my healing. We are programmed to be so limited ... but I'm a rebel so I don't go there:) Thanks for taking your time to share!21/06/2016 #29 CityVP Manjit#25 When people watch pain the best they will get to is to become an expert in pain. I want to observe those people who can make the human spirit live again who I know can do this for others because they have achieved doing this for themselves first. There are far less in the world who recognize this form of dignity and you are one of them. How can we get to any kind of restorative justice if condemnation is what is in our hearts? Look at all the opposites of the word "condemn" - absolve, build up, release and most of all set free. When we condemn we surrender the opposite and that is what we then really lose when pain gives birth to pain. Your account is wisest in the transformations you have experienced.21/06/2016 #27 Rebel Brown#22 Ms @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD We both have our journeys, eh? And I believe we all have a choice. We can choose to face forward and find the light, no matter what it takes. or we can choose to lose our lives in the darkness. Im not about to give in to the dark... so here I am. In the light:) Blessing this Universe for the powerful journey and lessons along the way:) Blessings to you:)21/06/2016 #26 Rebel Brown#21 @Pamela L. Williams I've worked with a number of abused women and traumatized kids now. I find that the biggest challenge they have is the outright terror that rules their unconscious mind. The symptoms come out in isolation and discomfort in public, panic attacks at meeting new people and more. But the core seems to be the integration of a "panic button" into our "selves" that is so inherently part of us, we think its NORMAL. Once I learned how to release the fear and angst, the guilt and hurt..... I moved beyond it all. So do my clients. It's the best work I've ever done. I literally change a life in 2 hours or less. WHAT A BLESSING and I'm so honored to have been directed to this path in my life. BLESSINGS PAmela and thanks as always for your oh so powerful words.21/06/2016 #25 Rebel Brown#20 @CityVP Manjit Wow... you captured the feelings and intent in my heart SO well. Many people can't understand why I feel sorry for my father now. Yes, he did horrible things to me for over 10 years. He also had horrible things done to him as a child. And he had no means to step beyond those horrors. No where to turn. I'm blessed because I had the freedom and lived in a world where I could find my answers - from around the world. It's funny, as I recovered all the memories, I had the opportunity to literally feel my little girl transform from hopeful to powerless, from eager to afraid, from joyous to oh so sad. When I went back and looked at my photos, you SEE the change in my eyes and my smile, or lack thereof. The sparkle dies. And yes, that powerlessness overwhelmed me thanks to my imprinting it with the use of EMDR. But I found my way out... and as I was crawling out of the black pit - I knew one thing. What happened to me happened for a reason. And that reason is to share the horrors AND the healing with anyone and everyone who needs it. because I did find my answers, and today, I am Thriving on the Other Side. I am blessed.21/06/2016 #22 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#21 Absolutely agree that we need to Validate and Encourage transparency, because our stories, however embarrassing or not, WILL Inspire Others! +@Rebel Brown's story is amazing and even more remarkable is the Inspiration, the #WHATISTHEPOSITIVE that she gleaned from it for the rest of her life! What a role model! Amen and thanks be to God that you're here for us, Rebel! We need you!21/06/2016 #21 Pamela L. WilliamsEloquent is the word that comes to mind to describe your comment @CityVP Manjit. Rebel's post temporarily stupefied me. It's hard to share revelations such as this because one of the most difficult wounds to heal is the embarrassment. One of my closest friends is a clinical psychologist and we've discussed young life trauma several times. In his many years of caring for abused children he found that the feelings of isolation resulting from having a 'not normal' family was the most difficult hurdle to cross. They didn't want others to know of the façade, I'm truly amazed by Rebel's strength. She is the ultimate example of a Breakout Woman. #2020/06/2016 #20 CityVP ManjitEven though I have no experience of this, as the years roll on I listen to these accounts and while they still shock me, I see that this is not just an isolated experience, that there is a Pandora's Box of issues that people have carried, and while I am not advocating opening that Pandora's Box, when it does open, it requires a human being that can control the forces that then emerge from these dark stories - and I see a great and awesome strength in Rebel Brown - a strength that has been forged by choosing to acknowledge the pain, but in ways that strengthen not only Rebel but giving a sense of how to emerge from brokenness and to begin leading a life redrawn with new meaning, and values that transcend the darkness that would otherwise suffocate a life.
For those who like me who have never had to endure any of this, it is a powerful reminder of the realities that people endure and then Rebel Brown becomes a reference point for those who have also endured this. Ultimately the line with the greatest power is where Rebel says "He never got the chance to find his power, to free himself from her evilness. He never had a chance" Such a statement is not simply a form of great courage, it is a statement of intelligence - in a world that needs lots of that intelligence, because the alternative is not a good place to be. When we talk about freedom, we really underestimate freedom, what Rebel has described here is a story of freedom - of mind, of spirit and of body. I honour her story here and respect greatly her intelligence.
- 05/06/2016Trauma --- traumatic stress --- PTSD. The list is not extensive. It isn't expicit about adverse childhood experiences. June is PTSD Awareness month. There is a cure.
Comments04/07/2016 #18 Leckey Harrison#17 I think one thing we've seen over time is that those who were violent and are in prison, had "hurt" at the foundation of their lives. James Gilligan wrote a book about it several years ago. The obvious presence of developmental trauma is clear: hurt people, hurt people. It doesn't mean all hurt people will, but just as clearly, sane healthy people don't. I think also we might see that even in icons, like Dr. Martin Luther King, that there were behaviors one would consider less than optimal. President Bill Clinton comes to mind. What prompts a man to commit adultery (a relative moral label), and then, to lie about it? If he was healthy in his relationships, would he have done that? If he were responsible, would he have owned it instead? Nothing is absolute, including the idea that hurt people, hurt people. When we look closely though, in my experience, it either happens via psychological hurt, and at the very least, self-hurt.04/07/2016 #17 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 I wonder who has studied the kids of abusive/alcoholic parents who haven't carried on the bad behavior. For another time, but aren't we all so glad to know that love can still conquer all? @Lisa Gallagher View more#11 I wonder who has studied the kids of abusive/alcoholic parents who haven't carried on the bad behavior. For another time, but aren't we all so glad to know that love can still conquer all? @Lisa Gallagher, @Rebel Brown, @Leckey Harrison, @Gerald Hecht @Dr. Allen Brown. Those who end up being loving, caring parents are definitely to be commended. ☺️ Close04/07/2016 #16 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 Not to pound it in, but here's an interesting animal study over 33 years of observation in 5 large families. Regarding infant abuse recurring over the generations: "Conclusions: This study provides the first evidence of genealogical effects on infant abuse in nonhuman primates. Several characteristics of infant abuse in socially living macaques suggest that this phenomenon could represent a good animal model for studying the etiology of child abuse and neglect." Reference: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014521349700006904/07/2016 #15 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 I did it again. Reference on comment below, #14 on the right side: http://ije.oxfordjournals.org/content/31/3/560.short04/07/2016 #14 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 Study results of almost 7,000 Indian men who, in childhood, had witnessed their father abusing their mother: "Conclusions These findings from northern India are congruent with those from other geographical/cultural settings in suggesting that witnessing violence between one's parents while growing up is an important risk factor for the perpetration of partner violence in adulthood." @Lisa Gallagher, @Rebel Brown, @Leckey Harrison, @Gerald Hecht, @Sara Jacobovici...04/07/2016 #13 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 Oopsies. Reference on my #11 comment: http://www.jsad.com/doi/abs/10.15288/jsa.2003.64.47204/07/2016 #12 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#11 Definitely worthy of a Buzz. Here's a 3-generational study of sons of alcoholics: "Results indicate continuity of aggression across three generations and also indicate that the child's pathway into risk for later Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) is not simply mediated by parental alcoholism, but is carried by other comorbid aspects of family functioning, in particular aggression. /☝️ The patient population here may be most important in picking 'the right man." ☝️ i.e., 'don't have kids' with an alcoholic man, esp if his parents were alcoholics. And grandparents, especially. @Lisa Gallagher, @Rebel Brown , @Leckey Harrison, @Gerald Hecht, @Sara Jacobovici...hmm.30/06/2016 #11 Lisa Gallagher#6 @Rebel Brown, I have to agree with you that not all abused people grow up to be abusers. My mother was horribly abused yet she never abused us. She guided us with love. I honestly believe she got through life fantasizing about the life she would have once she got away from her parents. I believe she put her fantasies into action and we were very blessed to have had such a beautiful soul as a mother. I'm not sure what leads an abused person to abuse others but in many cases they don't repeat their own history. I have no stats so I don't discredit that this is a problem with abusers as well. I agree with not putting everyone into one category. This is a great topic and should be discussed. Thank you for tagging me too @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD30/06/2016 #10 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#4 @Sara Jacobovici: Absolutely agree that awareness is key. I have seen so many patients with this "generational" family abuse pattern...and the devastation inflicted on abandoned children as young as 15 yrs of age (have discussed with @Selim Yeniçeri, @Dr. Allen Brown, @Brian McKenzie, and more). I see the devastation, and have been both a battered wife and the wife of an alcoholic. So I've lived it, too. Please feel free to join my Hive: named "Invisible Illnesses: Child Abuse:" ( https://www.bebee.com/group/invisible-illnesses-child-abuse ). Also extending this Hive invite to @Rebel Brown, @Mamen Delgado, @Deb Helfrich, @Cat Gal U., @Ali Anani, @CityVP Manjit, @Leckey Harrison, and opened up to all. @Gerald Hecht, @Lisa Gallagher, @Kirstie-Sweetie Louise, too.30/06/2016 #9 Rebel Brown@Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD Hey sistah. I havent been commenting here much because I have fundamentally different perspectives from most of the comments here, based on both my experience and my coaching clients, many of whom come to me to release the trauma of PTSD and move on with their lives, quickly and effectively.. They aren't abusers, I'm not an abuser and so assuming that the abused are the source of abuse is much too broad a generalization for me to comfortably accept. I know too many people who were never abused that are some of the nastiest abusers ever. Especially i today's world where the masses are being constantly programmed toward fear which then breeds anger and violence. But I wanted to thank you for tagging me.30/06/2016 #8 Rebel Brown#7 I believe that generalizations are dangerous in their intent and result @Leckey, and that insanity and rage are often undetectable. Its certainly not only abused people that hurt other people. So saying all abused people hurt people is unfair in my world. But thats the beauty of our lives - we all get to have our opinions. Blessings...27/06/2016 #6 Rebel BrownWell, as an horribly abused child (my therapists told me to call it what it was, torture), I'd like to point out that I've never abused anyone and have the opposite response to many of the assumptions here. I've worked with a number of abused women and men. None of them were abusers either. In fact, every one of them became exactly the opposite type of person. Loving, caring,going out of the way to be different than their abusers. As with all things, I suggest to clients that they not apply broad brush applications to people about anything. We are ALL unique in our mind programming, and we all deserve to be given the respect of a positive perception until proven otherwise. Negative generalized assumptions be gone.27/06/2016 #4 Sara Jacobovici#3 Thank you @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD for bringing my attention to this update and its message as well as your comment. I will compact the complexity of the topic at hand into one word that is appropriate to the posting of: awareness. Imperative that we as a community are aware of the fact that traumatic events do take place and will impact on individuals as well as the community. That the impact can vary and to be aware of the signs and means to address those signs. Important that we use information and learning to treat each individual and individual situation with educated awareness and not preconceived ideas of what will happen, just what the potential of what may happen is and to ensure the support necessary for a positive outcome.27/06/2016 #3 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD@Sara Jacobovici, @Leckey Harrison, @Rebel Brown, @Randy Keho, @Mamen Delgado: In the continuum of the child who underwent child abuse, let us consider: (1) Phase I: The (abused) adult who underwent intervention(s) to mitigate their own precious salvation; (2) Phase 2: The newborn babies of the abused parent, who has no idea what is ahead of her/him after looking into their newborn's eyes with true Love; (3) Phase 3: The parent's potential capacity (and statistical likelihood) of inflicting mental, physical, and emotional harm onto their baby as (s)he grows; (4) Phase 4: Transformation to consider all human actions to be either (A) Love or (B) a call for Love. (5) Phase 5: Forgiveness. Please help me forward to other interested parties I miss here: @Ali Anani, @debasish majumder, @Mohammed A. Jawad, @Mohamed S, @Daniel, ..... thank you.20/06/2016 #1 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDAlso note and wish that child abuse was specifically mentioned, but would you agree: child abuse leads to the next generation of child abuse, etc....and perhaps it is these abused children that grow up to be abusive husbands and wives, with the mental issues becoming more dominant if not addressed at the time, i.e., in childhood, youth, or teenage years. Increased awareness for Teens & Youth may be a good strategy working towards a solution? Would love your insight.