- 07/01/2017Found this to be an interesting read and thought I would share, because this is a tactic I have seen used by bad leaders in the work environment ...A LOT.
Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another’s reality, by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so – and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person. Gaslighting takes two – one person who needs to be in control to maintain his sense of self, and the other, who needs the relationship to maintain her sense of self and is willing to acquiesce. The Gaslight Effect happens when you find yourself second guessing your own reality, confused and uncertain of what you think, because you have allowed another to define reality and tell you what you think — and who you are. Gaslighting can be maddening in the early stages and soul destroying when it fully takes hold.Are You Being Gaslighted In Your Relationship?upliftconnect.com Do you feel like you're going crazy? Discover if you're falling prey to gaslighting and how to escape this mental...
- Producer14/12/2016Challenging Today's Social NormsWe look up at clouds everyday and they are just part of the landscape view. If we can look at their processes and see their cycles we can see social networking and its strengths. Cloud formation and the benefits it brings require a specific set of...
Comments16/12/2016 #40 Harvey Lloyd#38 I agree the crossroads at which we stand will be lead buy our accelerated communications techniques on many platforms. The will of the people will be served. In this they must take media by the hand and stage the journey. Social media platforms or government would be wise not to try and throttle the people as this would be a mess.
The journey ahead will be lead by ordinary folks not great writers or politicians. Thanks for your comments and thoughts. I can see you leading within this sea of change as i have enjoyed many of your comments.16/12/2016 #38 debasish majumderyes, new media or social media has the potential to create a concrete platform and even change the dynamics of the political as well social flow, which recently we observe in U.S. election, their capacity and strength. on contrary, a value based platform with integrity sure make a significant proposition in due time, though initially insignificant in nascent stage, but having the potential too to make a sea change with obviously a concrete approach. lovely insightful post @Harvey Lloyd! enjoyed read. thank you for the share.16/12/2016 #37 Harvey Lloyd#36 By all means please carry the thoughts along as you examine your thoughts.
I am always curious of the disconnect of our own thoughts. The three states don't work if your thoughts are not surrounding dynamic usable outcomes. But i read posts/concepts that focus on static concepts while we live in a dynamic world.
Our thoughts should help us transcend the static into dynamic action. We can discuss concepts until we fully understand, but if it doesn't lead to change in action then it is static.
If the above statement is true then our thoughts should always be considered within the end game.
Understanding today will emerge as action tomorrow.
This changes our thoughts from "positions" where defense and offense happen, to action thoughts where we realize our thoughts will be attached to a future action. Dynamic thoughts.
Each step of cloud formation and ultimately rain, is actionable with a result. I see in many posts where we forward a emotional position. These posts remind us of dynamic journeys that have become static positions we cant understand/tolerate or need dynamic thoughts to move forward. Continuing to forward an emotional thought though, does not change the static position.16/12/2016 #36 Ali Anani#35 Now you provoke my mind intensely dear @Harvey Lloyd. I enjoyed your comment and it deserves a buzz on its own. If you don't write a buzz related to your comment then I shall.
Yes, the comfort zone is a transient zone to clean our mind cache and move on. You "moved" me beyond limits with your super-quality comment.16/12/2016 #35 Harvey Lloyd#34 I have often felt that we are in a state of three conditions when we are seeking understanding or work through issues. I am right until i am wrong, I am wrong until i am right, I am not moving forward. These conditions display state of mind and not judgement. Specifically as it applies to making choices/decisions.
I can move from state to state based on new information. But realizing these conditions exist allows me to operate without blindness or stagnation. The third state is the challenge as time works against us in a world that moves very quickly. Sometimes we need to work forward even though we may feel wrong, just to start the journey towards right.
Our comfort zone is always an eroding oasis. A brain relaxing zone if you will. These are the times when we see most clear and relax. Cherish them as the next leg of the journey will come soon enough @Ali Anani16/12/2016 #34 Ali AnaniAsking is a sign of maturity. It shows our lack of knowledge and areas where we wish to learn more. I agree with you @Harvey Lloyd and how many times we found that what we believed was a correct answer later proved to be wrong. It is asking questions that keeps us in tension state to desire to know more; answers tend to place us in our comfort zone. We call it comfort zone and in reality it could the ignorance zone and even sometimes the stupidity zone.15/12/2016 #32 Harvey Lloyd#29 One of the things i have recognized in social media (I am a newbee), is we discuss relationships and networks but we see individual comments or posts as a representation of a whole. I try and read comments and posts based on the network and the relationship. I know many relationships and comments contain the depth of previous ideas and thoughts expressed across BeBee. So when @Ali Anani comments or replies to one i know he has probably done so with that individual many times before. Most likely on related and unrelated topics.
Given this, i have seen a consistency in his responses that shine a clear light on his core values. I have seen him also debate heavily with other Bee's and even then his core values were not abandoned. This consistency is what we gravitate towards.15/12/2016 #31 Harvey Lloyd#28 @Deb🐝 Lange thanks for your comment and thoughts. The topics discussed are divisive depending on your perspective. Early in my leadership career in small business i had to learn quickly that customers, employees and vendors all had a single thought in mind. Their success. Theirs and mine were not always congruent to accomplishing the goal(s).
I watched success over the years (and failures), and found that most of the success happens where a shared set of core values existed. The last picture in the post displays some of these. I lead with these core values to retain a consistency in my leadership. When we can face adversity from a solid foundation of core values of respect, active listening and professional responses then we can be consistent in our outcomes.
BeBee is creative and i have learned a lot from reading yours and others posts. My learning accelerates when differing opinions arise within the comments. I like old fashion debates. I know debating is not fashionable these days. Within these debates folks defend their positions and reach deeply into their wealth of knowledge and write words that support their ideals. I learn from them. This also seems harsh in today's world.
Thanks again for your comments.15/12/2016 #30 Ali Anani#28 @Deb🐝 Lange (WOw! your name is highlighting)- do you understand these are parts of your values "who add to ideas, rather than pull them down, who converge ideas allowing new patterns to form and something new to bubble up and emerge"? For me, they are. Very-well said15/12/2016 #28 Deb🐝 LangeI agree with you @Harvey Lloyd - I am attracted to people who I sense through their words and actions online, who read and respect diverse views, who add to ideas, rather than pull them down, who converge ideas allowing new patterns to form and something new to bubble up and emerge. This seems to be happening on beBee in ways that are different from other sites. I feel like LinkedIn is more individualistic, facebook possibly so, even though it has it''s groups. BeBee seems to be more community, sub-community orientated. Although I am only connected to a small group of people on BeBee so I can not say what the overall trend is, other than if the small group I am connecting to has these characteristics, are they a "fractal", a pattern held within the larger group? My core values, hmm, respect of all living beings and their diverse ways of living in our eco-system; freedom with respect; love appreciation gratitude; - hard to come down to 3. I am attracted to the development of ideas and learning from one another in BeBee - I sense the building of a core community I am connecting with, gradually, as time and interactions permit.14/12/2016 #25 Harvey Lloyd#24 Not to labor the point but i do agree that the outcomes of negative views and the journey can lead to distorted thinking. My post is trying to deal with this point, not necessarily place someone in a fixed position. Core values offer us a tool to create a different perspective during the times when we are maybe myopic or focused on a negative aspect.
I agree with @Phil Friedman distorted thinking is developed through a process of behaviours and interactions. I find myself there sometimes. With core values i can find my way out or maybe avoid the place all together..
So in a simpler form the core values offer us a way of avoiding the processes you speak. Doesn't mean we necessarily take advantage of this process as often as we should.
Core values like honesty, humility, forgiveness, seek to understand and many others can assist in avoiding the distorted view Phil points out.14/12/2016 #24 Mohammed Sultan#22 The challenge is always are we able to see our past blinders and the blinders imposed by our judgments and expectations about others.As @Phil Friedman once said in one of his comments on a related issue -distorted thinking is contagious-and I added -when it becomes a habit it spreads.If we can't change our perception first we will not be able to change or create anything new.I completely agree on what @ Mohammed A.Jawad said, if we can't change our negative perception we may regress to a negative mood.14/12/2016 #22 Harvey Lloyd#21 I agree with the concepts you discuss and would add that the perception is the aspect of the post i was addressing. Perceptions do change based on moods, current events and even to the degree of who might be presenting. Given these variables how can we ever shape ourselves into a society that is sustainable?
A solution is core values. Yes i have perceptions and they are influenced. But if i have a clear set of core values then i can filter my perceptions through them. I liked what @Mohammed A. Jawad said on a related post "While being fluid or flexible in approach, we all need luminous lampposts for traversing in a truer manner. If not, we get drifted without any directions or reaching any destination." I took his "Luminous Lampposts" to indicate a core value set.
We should constantly seek different views, but we should also remain true to our values. I don't believe the two are mutually exclusive.14/12/2016 #21 Mohammed Sultan@Harvey LIoyod. Our perception of values is not so much determined by what people bring to us, as by our views toward what they bring ,not so much by what happens as by the way our minds look at what happens.When we become optimistic we will view the same thing differently ,we will see the brighter line of the cloud instead of seeing its inside darker color,which may also deprive us from seeing the colors of the rainbow in the sky.Values are not values unless they are shared.The more often we look at things in the same way ,the more difficult it's to think about them in any other way.When we become regularly tuned to our judgement about people we may lose our personal balance,integrity and start criticising or blaming others or even turn around our established values.
- 24/11/2016Life Lessons on being a wonderful Human Being - Hon Indian PM Shri Narendra Modiwww.linkedin.com The next in the series of blogs on leadership lessons from Rahul Dravid and Rajanikanth, thought of discussing Hon PM of India Shri Narendra Modi. I am too small a person to discuss these giants...
- 15/11/2016"this environment imposes a new political requirement on those of us who take voting seriously: a capacity for thoughtful, enlightened forgiveness"The Forgiveness Mandatewww.strategy-business.com The 2016 presidential election has shown that no secret is safe; we’d better learn to distinguish acceptable transgressions from non-acceptable...
- Producer04/09/2016The Tragedy of AaronThe Study hive is my personal interface between my offline studies through both public and college libraries - though I have yet to make good use of any college library I have the choice to access. My presence here is as a 21st Century learner, but...
Comments18/09/2016 #5 AnonymousThank you @CityVP 🐝 Manjit for sharing your insightful and relevant post. Let me share you one relevant quote which enlightens quite well what happened... " Since one cannot educate adults, the word "education" has an evil sound in politics; there is a pretense of education, when the real purpose is coercion without the use of force. " - HANNAH ARENDT16/09/2016 #3 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#2 Dear Fatima there is nothing wrong with fighting injustice and obscene power but one must be prepared for the consequences. Both Edward Snowden and Julian Assange are now living in exile but they had a plan, however Aaron underestimated the consequences of special interest in education and the power they wield with government officials. This is why there must be campaign finance reform and a democratization of special interest groups.
In order to fear these things we must first get caught in the cross-hairs of those who have a different opinion of freedom and what the future should be. Instead of fearing power, we must be thoughtful that there are people like Aaron who were willing to see a bigger picture and the tragedy here is what his loss has meant in terms of reforms to the law and more importantly, the reshaping of law so society can move into the knowledge age.
These battles for transformation are nothing new, these fights occurred at the beginning of the first wave of globalization at the beginning of the century, as well as at all other prior transformational periods. https://www.etown.edu/offices/president/2014-11-14-WW1-Globalization.pdf Another way that supporters of globalization look at this is written here http://www.americanforeignrelations.com/E-N/Globalization-First-era-of-modern-globalization-to-1914.html
You and I Fatima are ordinary mortals far removed from the world Aaron was trying to change, there should be no fear from trying to be aware of these things, unless of course anxiety is our underlying condition, and that is a personal transformation.16/09/2016 #2 🐝 Fatima Williamsmy heart goes out to Aaron such a brilliant mind targeted and forced to live a short life. Our lives have become a movie directed by those who want to control us and sometimes we end up being mere puppets. An untold melancholy remains in my heart as I think more about this Aaron's story made me feel so insecure about what can happen to one who is much lesser in thought and actions than him
- Producer16/04/2016Donald Trump Presidential Campaign Media Manipulation by Mike RestivoDonald Trump’s notoriety and outrageousness may be media fodder for vulgar popular consumption according to the media marketing/promotionally motivated lure of readership curiosity for eccentric, and abnormal storied articles. Media techniques of...