- Producer11/12/2017Moving ForwardGive me something peace and quiet. Give me the solitude of calm escapes, mental tangents, goals and personal quirks and the time to enjoy them without long bouts of nagging. Give me the muddy shoes by the door, and the stinky workout clothes...
- Producer10/12/2017Listicles for Testicles Welcome to the first installment of Listicals for Testicles: A numberated introduction to MGTOW. Men Going Their Own Way is an awareness that the long series of lies that we have been spoonfed through our childhood no longer hold power over us. ...
Comments10/12/2017 #6 Brian McKenzie#2 as long as the laws are what they are - no man should enter the casino unprepared. The deck is stacked high and tall against the guys. If I help them avoid the shit show - i consider that a win. I need to brush up on my literary cues - I am not sure where the F*ck I buried Satire in there.10/12/2017 #3 Kevin BakerI still believe in the possibility of success in marriage. More marriages end because of out side influence then influence with in. Each day we choose either to remain or leave. No law's, or a piece of paper will bring about the effort it takes to live commitment. When two people have troubles, the last thing they should be doing is turning out ward for direction. How quickly we forget the day we decided to commit and the very reasons why. Regardless of adversity, I remain optimistic.10/12/2017 #2 Robert CormackHa, ha, @Brian McKenzie, to all of us who have suffered through divorce, you've spoken the words we thought in anger, only to realize, once we start doing donuts in the living room, it won't be long before we're blowing our noses into shirt sleeves and leaving the seat down on the toilet just to piss on it. We can get by without women, just as women can get by without men, but my best friends are still women and, as I tell them, neither of us can fuck a bicycle (although something tells me you've tried). Wonderful satire, Brian. Now get your dick out of the spokes. We're in for a busy ride with everything that's happening today, but already women are breaking away from the feminist agenda, saying they'd rather have a ratty man than a feminist telling them everything will be great without men. They know it won't, we know it won't. Both sexes are here on this earth to compliment each other's weaknesses. The "Blame Game" will end.10/12/2017 #1 Phil FriedmanBrian, if I may make a suggestion — other than printing this out, then burning it — the correct spelling of “listical” is “listicle”, which would be much catchier to the eye in your title. To wit, “Listicles for Testicles”.
I’d also suggest a sub-title, “Misogyny As Religion”.
Thanks for offsetting the almost constant stream on the platform of honey-laced treacle. I find being provoked by satire far preferable to being lulled into somnambulence. Cheers!
- Producer10/12/2017MisogynyIf you search for Common Senseit is very hard to find.You can't have the space you need to sit.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to get.Misogyny is such an ugly word.Everyone is so...
Comments11/12/2017 #5 Brian McKenzie#3 You should see the stuff that never airs here. The classes for the guys I coach are way darker - they pass cold and move to a comfortable numb in stoic apathy and indifferent heartless moods. A full recipe to excise the tactics and idioms that are the game women and the state play. Walden is the launchpad - it gets dark and deep from there.
- Producer08/12/2017FINDING A PERFECT PARTNER, NOT A HURDLE ANYMORENEED OF A LIFE PARTNER: We all are verily aware of the fact that secretly we all are in the search and need of a perfect partner for ourselves that can fulfil all our expectations with love, care and affection. We all imagine and analyse...
- Producer04/12/2017Adventures in Mid-Life Dating, Part 3: Pasta Projectiles Are Not A Dating StrategyI don’t have time for men who still do everything their penis tells them to do. A recent chat exchange happened with your typical lazyboy on Spinal Tap, my pseudonymous online dating service. Of course he didn’t fill out his profile, and...
Comments07/12/2017 #13 Nicole Chardenet#12 Y'know, Phil, I was thinking about this this morning en route to the subway station, and considered that my profile could use a new tweak. The point isn't to have a 'good sense of humour', which everyone wants and everyone thinks they have, but to use it as the screening qualification that it is...to make sure the person *has* the sort of sense of humour that makes him rise above the others. I may be a Canuck but I've been a Merk for much, much longer and I will probably never lose my Merk sense of humour, especially in the land of Overly Politically Correct Mildly Humourous Scaredy-Cats. If their humour is of the Rick Mercer variety....they won't be able to handle me. OTOH, if they still miss Sam Kinison...they're in like Flyn!!!06/12/2017 #12 Phil FriedmanNot being a native Canuck, I'm pretty stubborn, @Nicole Chardenet, So I have to point out that I think you have my point backward. I am NOT saying that a person with "a good sense of humour" is immature. Rather, I am saying that, present company excluded of course, women for whom having "a good sense of humour" dominates their dating wish list are immature and inevitably end up with frat-boy types, not keepers or stayers. And once one drops the quest for "a good sense of humour", one often finds members of the opposite sex who make good partners.06/12/2017 #11 Nicole Chardenet#10 I don't think 'a good sense of humour' necessarily correlates to immaturity...I've found plenty of that in people *without* a sense of humour...making them both immature AND a pain in the ass to be around :)
I'm stickin' to that stickin' point in my dating strategy :)05/12/2017 #10 Phil Friedman#7 Well, Nicole, with all due respect, I speak as a 15-year veteran of living and working in Canada (Toronto and environs). And I think the Canadian female obsession with "having a good sense of humour" (note the correct spelling) is what keeps so many without long-term companions and mates. In my experience, that obsession signals a concomitant tendency to be attracted to the emotionally immature. For "having a good sense of humour" has little, if anything to do with being creative or fun or intelligent or loyal or sensitive or caring or honest or authentic or courageous. And from what I saw during my political self-exile in Canada, having a good sense of humour" often topped, even solely comprised the list of requirements of many, especially Torontonian women. As long we're talking about it. Cheers!05/12/2017 #9 Nicole Chardenet#6 Sure, but I knew it wasn't gonna work. I seriously just wanted to have a glass of wine with a cute guy who demonstrated a great sense of humour in chat (faites attention, M. Friedman!) :) I didn't really expect to find myself attracted to him, and I was just happy to know I *could* be attracted to someone as easily as I was to him. I *knew* he wasn't very sincere; he said in his profile he wanted kids and when I tried to put him off over that detail he claimed they didn't really matter that much. Well, he was lying to someone...either to me, to get the date, or to the women he's hoping to attract. I knew that. Eyes wide open, y'know?05/12/2017 #7 Nicole Chardenet#1 Phil, having a good sense of humour is not just especially important in humour-challenged Canada, where everyone's afraid to be truly funny lest someone somewhere get OH-FENDED...and Toronto is, after all, no lie, I swear I'm not making this up, the city that actually forced a poster down because it was *DISRESPECTFUL TO COWS*. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/06/30/toronto-airport-removes-ad-activists-call-insulting-to-cows_a_23010133/
Believe me, any citizens who are offended on behalf of cows (to my knowledge, no actual cows complained about the poster), are going to need a really good sense of humour to deal with *my* politically incorrect ass.
But also, a really good sense of humour is sexy as hell, and a sign that the guy may actually be interesting. Timid boys afraid of speaking their minds need not apply.04/12/2017 #4 Randall BurnsHaHa! @Phil Friedman I think there's a lot more to it than just,
"...mind-stunted boys who'd be the center of attention joking around at a frat party. "
Agreed that a 'sense of humour" is a very personal and individual concept/perception. It comes down to "chemistry" and I've noticed in the past, from my "dating" days that physical attractiveness does not compensate for that spontaneous laughter and other "childlike feelings and emotions" that occur with certain people when "chemistry" is present.04/12/2017 #1 Phil FriedmanVery funny, @Nicole Chardenet. But I have to say that, although It's been a long since I "dated", it always drove me crazy when "unattached" female friends repeatedly cited one of the requisite characteristics in a potential mate as being "has a good sense of humour" (Cdn spelling). And I notice that keeps cropping up in your piece.
WTF is so important about humour? My wife's best friend always talked about this guy or that having a great sense of humour... which was no doubt why her short-term relationships appeared always to be with mind-stunted boys who'd be the center of attention joking around at a frat party. When I finally spoke out about the counter-productivity of being humour-obsessed and she dropped that requirement, at least nominally, she found a great guy who became not only her husband but also my best friend for more than thirty years now.
I always think of Pogo's statement made along the shore of Lake Okeefenokee, "We've met the enemy [of happiness], and ... he is us." Cheers!
- Producer26/11/2017MGTOW & MusicI have long held the notion that music has clues to reality that mass media does not want you to know. Namely - that you are better off out alone, away and even abroad from the rat race that wants to consume your soul. I have never wanted to be a...
- Producer24/11/2017MARRIED LIFE AND ITS CHARMS FROM IMAGINARY WORLD TO REALITYBASIC INTROUCTION: The main aspect of the article is finally evident from the main headline or topic of the article. Married life is a life totally spate and change from the independent or bachelor life. This is one of those realities that...
- Producer20/11/2017Adventures in Mid-Life Dating, Part 2 – Keep The Bar High!The Toothpicker reminded me never, ever, to lower my standards. When I re-upped on Spinal Tap this summer I promised myself I would only go out with really interesting guys and not deal with anyone who was ‘borderline’. As in, He’s not...
Comments21/11/2017 #7 Nicole Chardenet#3 Randall, I kind of knew there would probably be no chemistry...but I met up with him anyway because he DID make such a good impression on the phone, and I already know from the past Two Great Loves Of My Life that chemistry doesn't always happen when you know the person! It really has a lot less to do with looks than most people realize. I thought my ex was funny-looking when I first met him and I immediately friend-zoned him...but then he grew on me and it took me quite by surprise, rather a lot like the guy in university I fell in love with who looked like Waldo (although Waldo hadn't been invented yet!) I knew one for several months and one for a month or more before the chemistry happened. So, just because his photo didn't do it for me didn't mean it wasn't there...it really IS far more spiritual than people realize. But it just wasn't there. I wasn't very disappointed. I figured every encounter should be a learning opportunity and it has been so far. The one who came after The Toothpicker ("The Bay Streeter") turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for me in one regard but also gave me great hope on the other (a hope that had nothing to do with him).
Whether through data analytics or sales methodology, I intend to defy the odds of finding real love at my age by going about it in a different manner, rather like Ms. Jewish found her Jewish Prince with better mathematical capabilities than I've got (also I'd feel uncomfortable setting up fake profiles for research :) )
More in my next installment :)21/11/2017 #6 Nicole Chardenet#4 Oh, there wasn't much wooing going on :) The sort of sad addendum was he called me like a week later and said his mother had died. She was in the hospital with a broken hip when we met, but I didn't think she would die...how many old people suffer broken hips??? He said apparently about 30% of them pass on. I was surprised to hear from him, I figured he'd have gotten the message, and I couldn't 'break up' with him after that...so I was simply polite and sympathetic and we have had no contact since.I feel badly for him...not just because his mother died but because my research since then indicates he's actually fairly typical of middle-aged men on singles sites...which I kinda knew empirically but the research stamped it with the Seal of Approval. Not only do I wish I could help all the schlumpy guys who are destined for failure on Spinal Tap, but I also feel for the women who are also spinning their wheels wondering why nothing ever happens for them either...with these guys, or why there aren't better guys on Spinal Tap...or why these guys don't get their shit together. I do think a lot of these guys would do better if they made more of an effort. But they don't know what they don't know...20/11/2017 #3 Randall BurnsJust to clarify my statement @Nicole Chardenet It is very hard, if not impossible to quantify, measure the "chemistry factor", but that's also where the fun is. The excitement of the journey into the unknown, new discovery. Regardless of whether there is "chemistry" or not we have to have fun with it, and like your post here, I don't think you wasted your time and you are looking at the "fun" side of it. ;-)
How boring would it be to feed all your info into an algorithm and have your husband and 2.2 kids spit out on a computer print-out, where's the fun in that?20/11/2017 #2 Randall BurnsAnother enjoyable jaunt into the dating world @Nicole Chardenet Great video but I'm skeptical about becoming so analytical regarding such a "nebulous" topic/goal. I think your comment of "there was no chemistry" sums it up brilliantly in that you never know until you're actually face to face in real-time with someone to actually see if there is chemistry.
Looking forward to the next installment. :-)
- Producer20/11/2017Can you really fall in love with a robot?Our company has just started to work with a new client who has developed a humanised robot, which they describe as a ‘social robot’. It is clear by my work to date with this company that advances in robotics and AI are starting to gain some real...
Comments23/11/2017 #30 Phil Friedman#26 Geoff, I have no doubt that humans can develop feelings and attachments to machines. What I take issue with is the idea that the reverse is true, notwithstanding some machines may be programmed to produce contextually correct responses that simulate "understanding and compassion". However, I am open to having the interactions you cite being demonstrated by way of videos. What I am not open is accepting, without direct demonstration, the claims of the Prophets (Profits?) of AI as to what their bots can do. To paraphrase a well-known movie title, "Show me the goods!" Cheers.23/11/2017 #27 Geoff Hudson-Searle#16 @Jim Cody 🐝 Brand Ambassador Thanks for your comments on AI, I know this is your opinion, however, some of the technical advantage of AI used in the right context have shown incredible areas of innovation in product. I think the world is already out of control in areas even without the proper use of AI, but that is only my opinion.23/11/2017 #26 Geoff Hudson-Searle#15 All respect @Phil Friedman and great to hear from you. My interaction with my clients robot, is that their robot has developed feelings as a result of time spent with children, teenagers, adults and old age pensioners, behavious, attitudes and humor. The AI feeds of the interactions which make the robot hospitable, understanding and compassionate. I believe we live in interesting times and life will become even more interesting in the very near future! Cheers Phil!23/11/2017 #25 Geoff Hudson-Searle#14 @Deborah Levine that is a very interesting question and thank you for your your comments, well, for example my client has a humanized robot that is both male and female, but for some reason the male robot has had the most amount of attention, I feel this is a very subjective question, but totally understand your point. I would say that I do not feel that these machines are aiming to replace humans but more to enrich the lives of people that deploy them, for example I would never have a Samantha, Samantha could never replace my wife, by Samantha could support some of the things to free our time up as a couple.23/11/2017 #24 Geoff Hudson-Searle#13 @Yogesh Sukal Thank you for your comments, I wrote a blog recent,ly on robots and ethics/behaviour, I feel that eventually there needs to be a ethical or governance framework that robots should operate within, i.e if a robots can create love, it can always create darkness and wrong doing, a fascinating discussion and thank you for your links.23/11/2017 #22 Geoff Hudson-Searle#11 @Mohammed A. Jawad I have a tendency to agree with you, my personal opinion is that people are developing anti-social behaviour, loneliness, isolation from rejection and technology is a large contributor to this fact, if people adopt a ios platform like Samantha or Sam, I have no doubt that loneliness and mental health issues will increase society to unprecedented levels in society.21/11/2017 #20 Phil Friedman#19 There is no doubt, @Jan 🐝 Barbosa, that robotic tools can often be helpful and represent huge improvements in the delivery of services. But we have to remember that they are tools, and not delude ourselves that they have something akin to human "intelligence". IMO. Cheers!21/11/2017 #15 Phil FriedmanWith all due respect, Geoff, when you say, "A new study has found that humans have the potential to emphasize with robots, even while knowing they do not have feelings ...", I think you (and possibly the researchers you cite) confuse "empathize" with "anthropomorphize". The current BS propagated by the Prophets (Profits?) of Artificial Intelligence plays on our willingness and ingrained tendency to anthropomorphize all manner of animate and inanimate objects in our world, from automobiles to boats to plants to cute little parlor tricks (like Siri and Alexa) that use voice recognition, synthesized speech, and algorithms to create the appearance of conversation. I knew a fellow once who "loved" his inflatable sex doll and said she was even better than a human companion because she didn't talk. Proving that we can grow to love just about anything as long as we keep our ability to self-delude active and strong. Cheers! https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/artificial-un-intelligence20/11/2017 #14 Deborah LevineThis is truly weird stuff @Geoff Hudson-Searle. what strikes me the most is the creation of these robots by men for men in Stepford Wives form. The issue isn't just the interpersonal dynamics with the robots but whether they could replace real women who nearly as obedient, submissive, or servant-like. And if not actually replace them, change the dynamics between men and women and the expectations, particularly of men, of women's role. I wonder what these robots would look like if they were all designed by women?20/11/2017 #13 Yogesh Sukal#12 @Geoff Hudson-Searle I have seen both movies, there are two ways to look upon it, if really humans got feeling for future AI's then thats a kind of evolution to us, Either we become so much subjective that even objective AI seems to be one of our kind or become to much objective that we dont care of any subjective experiences. As i mentioned in my following buzz
The important is morality for humans and certain regulations or rules for AI's.
Because if you see in the movies ex machina and her, how two AI's turned out to be, one with manipulative skills and one with love.
Really enjoyed this contemplative buzz.
cc : @David B. Grinberg @Deborah Levine @Susan 🐝 Botello @Phil Friedman
- Producer19/11/2017Of Men, Memes & MGTOW I run a few different accounts promoting #MGTOW , Minimalism, Prepping and Going #Galt. One of them is nothing more than a meme factory and host aggregator of others people's content. A self serving daily dose of antidote to Cat-Memes and feigned...
Comments24/11/2017 #27 Brian McKenzie#26 that trype is like saying, "You are not a Scorpion, you can't talk about the dangers of its sting"
I have two economics degrees, do show me where my ROI / ROE risk analysis was off the mark. Bring your stats, performance, precedence and evidence to show the contrary. Show the data.
I graduated another class this week, my December class is already 80% booked, and I have been offered a Sunday Speak spot in two weeks. The market says it is in demand.23/11/2017 #26 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#25 Brian, you feeding the stereo type right here. First you do not have a qualified opinion about children, parenting or wives etc. You make fun of Disney's fictional characters that are actually based on reality somewhat. Yet you worship a fictional character that was created out of the mind of an addict.
If you have no children, you can't even relate to your own parents.
You have no business in creating policy that relates to family or children. Especially any policy relating to women,
It is bad enough that you men have to role play as women to steal our grants, derail our progress, compete in our sports, and corrupt our children.
Here you are creating a false stereotype about women. You don't even like women Not all women are gold diggers.
Also, something you would not know about or care about... but men wanted a cheaper workforce so they talked women into entering it and leaving their children to the schools or daycare providers... basically strangers to raise. Then the lazy men couldn't even pick up the slack at home making us spread ourselves so thin. If we stayed at home to raise the children and put our career on hold, men didn't compensate us. But WE RAISED their future selves.
So whatever. I'm so sick of this mental illness you call logic when it's just based on an extremely narrow and unqualified point of view. You are not smart you are limited, selfish and feeding the stereo type of men objectifying women.
If you don't like women, you have no right to talk about them. Especially if you are not a parent of one.20/11/2017 #22 Jerry FletcherBrian, I find it totally refreshing that you put up what for you is a logical position and are willing to brave the slings and arrows that come because of it. There is some truth in what you say and that, I believe, is what causes the furor. Stick to your guns big guy.20/11/2017 #20 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#17 Of course those who don't reproduce can't evolve. But no everlasting life in physical form if you don't have a future self. Hell, who knows what the future is going to be like anyway. With a bunch of sociopaths ruling the world, doesn't look promising for evolution. It might be peaceful but they'll eventually have to face their ugliness.
Those trying to take guns often have the largest security crews but also have a reason to be afraid. They've taken other people's gold. It comes full circle there with the billionaires on the dole. Again, just more people who want everyone else to pay their way and to control people. You have that in common with the gun grabbers.
Whatever... why do I waste my breath
Some of us who have been tortured would rather find the good that is left in the world.20/11/2017 #18 Antoinette Capasso-Backdahl#15 Ayn was a tortured soul. Another addicted cult leader who lead her people off a cliff. Nothing amazing about depopulationists. They just hate themselves and the card they were dealt. Which means we could do more to avoid climates that produce these tragic stories. But since we are the dumbest species, I wont hold my breath.
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/books/2009/11/how_ayn_rand_became_an_american_icon.html19/11/2017 #13 Antoinette Capasso-BackdahlI got the memo since the beginning of time. But see, it was always about your future selves. Not your selfish selves.
You men allowed the church to deviate from the original meaning of marriage which was the future selves, the children. So, it's not women's fault that you have to pay a pirates ship full of gold to get out of a slave contract with the government.
When will you ungrateful little boys accept responsibility for your creations? You are self loathing Gods. But somehow we still love you. Because we love our creations.19/11/2017 #8 Lisa Vanderburg#2 @Jim Murray; great comment, BTW with #3! @Brian McKenzie's idea is the more we talk about him, the greater clientele he'll have.
Bullshit. The guys he wants are tomorrow's predators, their hearts already cold for whatever reason. If you agree with his thinking, say so!19/11/2017 #7 Phil Friedman#5 Lisa Vanderburg, I do not intend to engage with you on this or any other issue, since you clearly do not take the time or make the effort to actually understand my comment(s). I did not address my remarks to you, and I would appreciate it if you did not address yours to me. Thank you.
- Producer13/11/2017Adventures In Mid-Life Dating, Part 1: I Wish I Was A LesbianQ: What do lesbians do on the second date? A: Rent a U-Haul! This is the first of what will probably be an ongoing series on....how the human race is doomed :) I detailed in my previous post about men who self-select out of the pool on...
Comments18/11/2017 #19 Nicole Chardenet#15 Well, it's not all doom & gloom. In my next post I'll be detailing a bit some of the men I've met up with (no names, and no desire to socially shame anyone). I did talk briefly to one guy online a few weeks ago who looks like a cool guy, but he's not sure if he wants to explore polyamory - multiple lovers - or not. I've already tried that and wasn't into it, so I'm a little leery of getting involved with someone who's into that or thinking of it. But, he's also into Buddhism and sometimes goes to the meditation group here in town I'm also in even though we've never run into each other there (he hasn't gone in awhile apparently). I keep thinking I should reach out to him and become friends with him in case he decides *not* to explore polyamory. Plus, he seems like a really bright cool dude so having a new friend can't be a bad thing, y'know?
I still have faith that a decent one will cross my path some day!18/11/2017 #18 Nicole Chardenet#16 Yes, I think men are being judged more closely (harshly?) on their looks now too. Being really overweight isn't helping them any more than it is women...and the dirty little secret of large people of both genders is *they* don't want to be with large people either. Women are financially and economically successful enough now that we don't have to 'settle'...which I suspect a LOT of these guys are looking to do...to settle, and be settled for.
I'm not interested in "settling". If I can't find someone who can keep up with me then I will end up alone, and that's okay. At least I'll know I did everything I could.18/11/2017 #17 Nicole Chardenet#14 Okay, I laughed at that...but I know it's not completely true either! Maybe on Spinal Tap & other similar services, I don't know. People on online services do seem to meet their partners offline, but I have a few friends who are married to people they met online. Hell, my ex and I did it back in the day before it was cool...we met over a computer BBS.17/11/2017 #16 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess#10 Love the "used husband in fair condition," @Nicole Chardenet! That is wonderful! I guess we all know that over the millenia, women have been prized for their looks; men, not so much. They were the ones who went out and found the food for the family, fought the wars, fought to keep what was theirs safe. Looks likely were irrelevant.
Now? Well, yes. Women are still judged more harshly in terms of looks as we age, but I firmly believe that we mostly also take much better care of ourselves, and I know we look damn fine!
Waiting for the next installment . . . :-)17/11/2017 #15 Lisa 🐝 GallagherYou can always change your mind (of course I'm just kidding). It has to be hard to be on these dating sites. I keep seeing a commercial in the US for one of the dating sites and of course it showcases 2 young and beautiful females and one hot guy who looks like he's a lot of fun but too young if someone in our age group were looking. That is unless the young guy is looking for a MILF- or should I just say, sex?! I once had someone tell me on Social Media that I was a MILF. I was so naive and had to ask what that meant... I asked the guy, no less! I was really embarrassed and felt like I appeared to be a piece of meat rather than a female who wasn't even using social media looking for guys. It has to be tough as a single woman looking for a decent man. Don't give up, I think you are figuring this out.. methodology does come in handy. ;-)17/11/2017 #13 Randall Burns#4 LMAO!! I lived in Toronto for 4 years, in the 80's and I can vouch for what you say @Nicole Chardenet, (and here I thought that the high gay population was due to the fact that they were all models/actors/artists/musicians) My life did "loosen" up after I left Toronto. :-)17/11/2017 #11 Nicole Chardenet#9 Thanks, Franci-Eugenia! I hope to have it out in the next week. It was actually one fairly long post that I cut into two so part of the next is already written. Interestingly, I have a suitor I only just recently met, not through Spinal Tap, who came over to pick up some winter coats from me for charity and I invited him to a dinner party I was holding that night. He is extremely interesting and bright and has one hell of a backstory to tell...some of it tragic, some of it happy, but he's indicated interest. We are talking about hanging out as friends for now but maybe seeing where it goes. I don't know him that well for now and I *do* need to get to know a person before I warm up to them. We'll see how it goes...17/11/2017 #10 Nicole Chardenet#5 @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess I keep thinking about The Toothpicker...I think I mentioned him in my previous post and he'll get a brief mention in my next one...and the reason I keep thinking about him is because he is is just the epitome of what I wanted to avoid and the giant red flag that I needed to qualify candidates better. (And as soon as I thought of it as 'qualifying candidates' I knew my Inner Salescritter had kicked in to point out that hey, there were some real similarities to trying to close a sales deal and dating!) The Toothpicker was a good, basic, decent guy....whose life was over. Who was never going to look good again *because he chose not to* even though you could see he used to be a really great-looking guy. He was, essentially, a Used Husband in Fair Condition who screamed, "I was married for thirty years and I treat you and other women the way I treated my wife...as though we have all this established familiarity between us so I didn't have to try hard anymore." I think a lot of the guys are like that, unfortunately. I should probably make more of an effort to get on every night and just see if there's anyone new, because I'm sure the 'good ones' get snapped up fairly quickly, and I want to submit by bid before it's too late :)16/11/2017 #5 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess"What a contrast to the middle-aged men’s photos - out-of-focus, schlumpy, badly-dressed, and often scowling or unsmiling. I sift through, knowing looks aren’t everything and in all honesty, I really am more interested in how closely we match."
Once I catch my breath from laughing, @Nicole Chardenet ... yes. Absolutely right! I spent a few years (a few years ago) going through the usual sites -- most of them decent enough -- to find very few men who took took care of themselves. Really. Men don't have to be handsome -- especially at this age although the ones that do take care of themselves sure do look goooooooood -- but 75 lbs overweight? No exercise? No interest in anything? Watch TV all day, go out for a few beers at night?
I found a few nice men -- they do exist -- but several wanted to travel all the time, and I have put down some nice roots where I am.
One of my "problems" is that I could be retired -- according to the statistics -- but what the heck would I do with myself? I don't have a lot of hobbies. I'm pretty much an introvert, except when I can't be. I love my work! I love gardening. I love reading. I love walking my dogs 4-5 miles in decent weather most days! I love living my life -- my way.
What I've decided is simple: I like living alone. Simple. Easy. Fun.
Cue Sinatra: My Way.16/11/2017 #4 Nicole Chardenet#3 Hi David, thanks for stopping by and casting your lot in on the dating scene. I'm quite curious as to what it's like on the other side. I'm not surprised you got ignored or just not much responded to, I've heard that a lot from guys. And it occurred to me later that all those great gals might be closet crazies...I've also heard about 'the crazies' from my male friends. Getting to know people in real life is probably way better than doing it online, but it's harder to do in Toronto where the men live in abject fear that if they're not very, very careful they might get laid :) I'm not sure why Toronto men are so frigid but I suspect 'the crazies' - uber-feminists - are behind it, as a Millennial friend of mine found a photo of some graffiti someone wrote on a wall somewhere that said, "Toronto women turn men gay!" And I know the feminists here have brought new dimension to the word 'crazy'!
I'm finding that doing the research as one goes along brings expectations into line and makes you waaaaay better at screening out the inappropriate candidates (meaning inappropriate for *you*, not that she sends you dick pics, LOL). I'm sorry you got dumped by your ex. I hope you finally meet the right person and remember, *learn* all you can about dating, women, emotions, all that stuff...it really does make a difference and the more you know, the less powerless and out of control you'll feel. Most people, both genders, don't do this and we should. We research the hell out of just buying a simple mobile, why do we keep spinning our wheels in the dating scene and then withdraw like angry kittens spitting, "All wo/men are assholes!"?15/11/2017 #3 David DisneyFantastic article!! I was thrown into the depths of single hood after my wife of 7 years and together for more then 11 years (High School Sweetheart) cheated on me. Split ways, and I was not excited. Both from a heartbreak side, and also a "Crap what do I do now" I hadn't dated since High School!! I'm 30 and my last date with someone other than my ex wife consisted something like an awkward A&W cruise night date in 2004 (or close to that time frame). I did think that the dating apps made it simple so of course I tried all the standard ones and spent hours updating my profiles, including all about myself, and really wanting to connect with someone on a meaningful level. I guess I spent far too much time listing the books I love, favorite Hobbies, and what not, because in the end when I finally got to the searching portion, and swiping a certain direction, or winking at, or heart, or whatever the apps needed, I found quickly that the attractive girls didn't need any form of bio, just hot pictures. I guess that works for the majority of my Gender base, however I wanted to connect deeper then that, I wanted to TALK to these girls, not take them to a bar and slither my way back home to bed them.Well I spent awhile searching, and it just was awful, so i went back to the old school way, and just talked to people in or around my circle of friends. Worked a lot better for me! I think your article can work for both sides depending on what you're looking for. I never found all of those amazing women you were speaking of. Hopefully the men you are looking for will shape up a bit and post who they are, not what they look like!!
- Producer05/11/2017No Dating Profile? Make An Effort, Dude!Men work so hard on dating sites to go unnoticed and ignored. I’ve been on one we’ll call Spinal Tap, because midlife dating is about as much fun as getting one. I have a methodology to filter out the men I wouldn’t be interested in –...
Comments09/11/2017 #10 Randall BurnsInteresting and entertaining read @Nicole Chardenet, I'm very guarded about any social, or other, interaction over the internet. Unless I'm sitting face to face, enjoying a coffee, beer, dinner, whatever, making eye contact with "real time" engagement it's just "whistling in the dark", but maybe I'm "old school". Although after reading this I do see the "adventure" that is possible. :-)08/11/2017 #6 Nicole Chardenet#5 There is NOTHING new about any of that...been going on since the beginning of time :) I find the process goes much better if you work to eliminate anyone who's not serious, which is easy to do since most men are not...they may think they are but they're not. Not filling out a profile is a really major way to know they're not serious. I also get young dudes who put on their profile they want kids, and I'm like, sweetie, that ship has sailed a long time ago!!! And they say, Oh, kids aren't that important. So why'dja put it on your profile? Some guys will say *anything* to get what they want...but I already knew that!07/11/2017 #5 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher@Nicole Chardenet, you have a way of writing material that is truthful with the pleasurable addition of humor. Obviously, I'm not familiar with dating sites but I've heard some strange stories from others who do use them. Some stories have had great short-term outcomes others have been disasters. I've also heard there are now a married people masquerading as singles on dating sites. I would imagine, their profiles are slim too. I guess some people feel they are that hot, so a profile shouldn't matter ha ha. Oh and I noticed thanks to a friend pointing it out that they now have cheaters dating sites, WTH? At least you aren't naive and have a system in place to weed out the goofs!
- Producer01/11/2017Dating Advice: Travel Is the Best Way to Dump Someone.Despite the cost, dumping your lover at the Louvre or the Sphinx in Giza is a lot more effective—and safer—than doing it at Starbucks.“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” Ernest HemingwayHemingway was a great traveller. He went all over...
Comments01/11/2017 #9 Irene 🐝 Rodriguez EscolarMister Cormack, we can blame the environment, the city we travel to, or the airport, train station or bus we are in. They will never be guilty of a rupture, it is an excuse, only the person involved is guilty, in that rupture.
Ironic humor is not my strong point.
- Producer25/10/2017Top Relationship Dating Expert Shares Her Journey To Success OnlineAs part of this article series, I have been fortunate enough to interview some of the top influencers and entrepreneurs in the digital realm that not only have implemented online marketing into their business plan, but have created connections,...
- Producer12/10/2017Planning a Date Night? Here Are Some Cute and Comfy Outfit IdeasEvery woman loves getting dressed up for date night, but not all women want to wear high heels and tight clothing. What if I told you there is a way to be stylish and comfortable; whether you're hitting the bar, singing karaoke, going bowling,...
- 04/10/2017The ultimate Millennial nightmare..."OMG, he's totes not on Facebook!!!"
:)A Modern Dating Horror Story! "I don't know what to do..." Credit: Comic...
- 23/09/2017Is Bullying Back the Only Option When Dealing with Bullies?Is Bullying Back the Only Option When Dealing with Bullies? | HuffPostwww.huffingtonpost.com Think of a time in which you’ve felt as though you are not being heard, regardless of how you tried to convey certain information. Among other things,...
- 18/09/2017Self-Determination and Informed ConsentSelf-Determination and Informed Consent | HuffPostwww.huffingtonpost.com Last week, I published an article titled Don’t Confuse Conciliation Court with Mediation, which was shared by the Harvard Negotiation & Mediation...
- 09/09/2017"Don’t Confuse #ConciliationCourt with #Mediation"
#Mediator #Mediators #Custody #FamilyCourt #DivorceDon't Confuse Conciliation Court with Mediation | HuffPostwww.huffingtonpost.com Over the Labor Day weekend, I read the July 2015 edition of Family Court Review: An Interdisciplinary Journal. I’d been meaning to read that particular...
- ProducerI Believe In The Science Of LoveNo, do not settle for the average, dear heart. Movies as 'Gone with the Wind' show us a different kind of love. A love so deep, that the ocean gets jealous. Anything is possible with faith, also in matters of the heart. Why settle for less if you...
Comments04/09/2017 #58 Puneet Srivastava"The universe will hear our intention and will lovingly send more love our way." #quote Brilliant.
@Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.30/08/2017 #57 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#52 wow, that is awesome, you make my day @Moi Kliniger!!! thank you!!!30/08/2017 #56 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#51 my pleasure sweet bee @Joanne Gardocki always good to see and read you here.30/08/2017 #55 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#49 that is really the essence @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris well underlined30/08/2017 #54 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#48 what a lovely comment @Melissa Hefferman thank you so much30/08/2017 #53 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#47 thank you @Lyon Brave so kind of you! have a happy week full of wonderful melodies29/08/2017 #46 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#45 thank you motivator bee @Jerry Fletcher!29/08/2017 #44 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#43 @Brian McKenzie sometimes the people that express it 'I do not give a damn', just need it the most.29/08/2017 #42 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#38 thank you @Gabriel Bazzolo I look forward to learning more about these magic drones!29/08/2017 #41 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#37 so beautiful how you expressed that @Deborah Levine we are all the same deep down inside, we are human after all, thank you for sharing.29/08/2017 #40 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#36 @Geoff Hudson-Searle do you have a book version or a website where we can learn from you?29/08/2017 #39 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#35 thank you poet bee @Debasish Majumder looking forward to your new gems.
- Producer23/08/2017Online Dating Tips: The BasicsObviously, there are many Online Dating sites with more cropping up every day. So how do you decide which site is "the best" or which right for you? Here are a few dating tips we've collected to help you select a site: friends have luck...
- 23/08/2017A 'lovely' equation. I have quit trying to figure out the exact values for the variables - and have gone to what I know are Constants.
"Love" is relative to the expected / perceived ratio of inputs of time, money, attention vs the number of alternatives available
- 22/08/2017A new beginning is on your horizon but you must have the courage to push through. Declare your struggles over. Declare your enemies defeated. Declare yourself victorious. Do this with passion. Your own self-talk is a very powerful tool in cultivating your belief system and ultimately your results. If you are defeated in your thoughts you will be defeated in your life. If you are a champion in your thoughts - your success is inevitable.image-store.slidesharecdn.com
- Producer16/08/20175 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive (when you've got kids) You and your spouse haven’t seen the inside of a movie theater since your kids were born. A date has been redefined as a pediatrician’s appointment on your calendar, and dinner usually consists of a thawed meal in the microwave or oven. You need...
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