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  1. The Mom Connection
    The #HolidaysAreComing ! Looking for a new #recipe to try? Here are some ideas! http://www.mymomconnection.com/recipes.htmlThe Mom Connection
  2. The Mom Connection
    Looking for #holiday fun? Here are some ideas!
    The Mom Connection
    Christmas Tree/ Minora Lightings, Christmas Parades & Holiday Stuff
  3. ProducerDonna-Luisa Eversley
    Parents...Patience & Love!
    Parents...Patience & Love!A mama's truthParenting is hard. There are no manuals that tell you what to do to be the best parent for the child you birth. The only thing you know is this human being is dependent on you for a long time. No two children are the same. Actually the...


    Mohammed A. Jawad
    04/12/2016 #22 Mohammed A. Jawad
    @Donna-Luisa Eversley I must say that you have taken a bold step to express yourself. Good wishes to you.

    All i say is parents are glowing lanterns in our lives. Under their tutelage, we receive guidance, way, counsel, suggestions, light, answers, solutions, grace, warmth, encouragement, motivation, love, care, shelter...Aha...in whatever manner we've grown up, become too qualified with many degrees and years of experience, but in front of our old, ageing parents, we are still their children, and we still require their best advice that comes with their blessings. Hope one day, your daughter will realize this. :)

    Lisa Gallagher
    04/12/2016 #21 Lisa Gallagher
    #20 haha!
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    04/12/2016 #20 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #17 just add, 😇😁🐝🐝🌹🌻🌼🌎🎆🎄@Lisa Gallagher..think I'm getting drunk on emojis 😘🙌👍☕
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    04/12/2016 #19 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #18 @Lisa Gallagher..you are soo right.. 😇when I write and press publish I'm never sure if it will resonate, and then I feel good sharing because keeping it all inside is not helping anyone , not even me
    Lisa Gallagher
    04/12/2016 #18 Lisa Gallagher
    #5 Wow, so sorry for your loss @FancyJ . How long has it been? Thank the heavens above your son found strength in family and didn't follow through because of the extreme pain he felt. Looks like Donna touched on a great subject, so many obstacles when raising children and each path differs.
    Lisa Gallagher
    04/12/2016 #17 Lisa Gallagher
    #8 My daughter was still in her own little world at 20, thank goodness they do mature, there is hope!! I want emoticons on my pc LOL
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    04/12/2016 #16 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #14 @Pascal Derrin ...i agree I have kept my babes in a cocoon and now I don't think she is ready for the world. My son says I will never think she is ready, but she will swim and I have to trust that..
    I just don't want her to have the tough life I have had... Then my son advises, I turned out OK, so though is not that bad..
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience.. I appreciate your support.. 😊🐝🐝.
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    04/12/2016 #15 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #12 @Julie Hickman...thanks so much.. I receive that hug 😊..i appreciate your support and shared experience. It feels really good reading from you and so many others... As a parent it is nice to hear from those who have been through similar situations and come out OK. I am glad for all this interaction.🐝🐝🌹
    Pascal Derrien 🐝
    03/12/2016 #14 Pascal Derrien 🐝
    I think boy or girl they all drift away from the mother ship at some point it is part of the path to growing up with a lot things that I think us parents don't like very much.... we do what we can as parents not always what we want there are days we cope better and some not so much. Personally mine don't realise it yet but they live in a cocoon to a certain extent and if I can spare them the sh*t I went thru at their age I think I would have done a good job... they will realize it later and gratitude may land at that point or maybe not.... :-)
    Max Carter
    03/12/2016 #13 Max Carter
    My son is the biggest part of my world. I use behavioral psychology with hin in the nick name I gave him as an infant.

    The Dude.

    At age 4 when he would act up and out I started talking to him and telling him what it means to be The Dude.

    Be a friend

    Say please and thank you.

    Be honest even if it gets in trouble.

    And other behaviors we can all agree are helpful in getting along with other people and being respectful and courteous.

    I never have to punish him, we have a 2 minute convo that has him readjusted and understanding shit happens and we all have moments where we act up or out because we are all human. It gives him and identity to grow within and still be an individual.

    A few months ago wild geese let The Dude pet them and pick up and hold their young.

    It takes patience to not react to him acting out or up and remembering myself that all it takes is a simple conversation to remind us both of the behaviors we both should use to be a better example of decent human beings.

    I probably fail more than he does, however he is a constant reminder as to why I work at it to not be a hypocrite in his eyes and it is the hypocrisy our children see that does more harm than anything else we do.
    Julie Hickman
    03/12/2016 #12 Julie Hickman
    Dear Donna-Luisa, I just wanted to send you my thoughts and hugs! My daughter is my heart and, as you say, they are bound to resemble the good and bad traits we had growing up. My daughter is an only child and it took all I had to get through those teenage years into the tender years you currently describe.

    What I learned is that you and only you are the best person in your daughter's life to show her what a strong, loving and independent thinking woman looks like and what she can achieve. With your unwavering love and devotion, your daughter has the absolute best advantage she needs to grow in character and prosper in life.
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    03/12/2016 #11 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #5 @fancyJ London.. thank you very much for sharing your experience and support. I am glad I posted this..it is enlightening and great to know that their are others wbo have gone through this experience. 😊
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    03/12/2016 #10 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #9 @Irene Hackett...I am so overwhelmed by your words and support..got my 'weepies of gratitude on flow'.. yes as single moms it sure seems like a mountain to climb sometimes...I guess I was fortunate to have my sons first..😊 they were born understanding girls it seems at times. Thanks very much for your kindness and supportive sharing..
    Irene Hackett
    03/12/2016 #9 Anonymous
    Ahhh, dear @Donna-Luisa Eversley, as a Mother of 2 daughters who are now in their 20's, let me say simply: I can relate! Both my girls were 'high-risk' teens and as a single Mom, it was almost the death of me! As Mothers, we have this immense, deep love for our children - we all want what's best for them. We have these visions of what that looks like. What I've learned is that 'vision' does not always align to our children's personalities. Not only do they have to learn to accept our imperfections but we must to learn to accept theirs! It took me a long time to let go of my vision. I no longer try to 'direct'. Now, I listen a lot more and give them support for their courage in 'coming into their own'. I am so happy to tell you that my relationship with my daughters is so much better now. I appreciate your honest sharing - us Moms must stick together!!! ❤️
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    03/12/2016 #8 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #4 @Lisa Gallagher thanks so much for sharing your experience ..I agree, my sons were a lot easier than my daughter . They seemed to understand rules were there to help in their lives. She is almost 20 now. I am looking forward to that day when were can have a better relationship...thanks for sharing hope... I appreciate your support..thanks 🐝🐝
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    03/12/2016 #7 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #3 @Franci Eugenia Hoffman, I like that you quoted me back to me..haha. You are quite right about this phase of growth passing, but it is hard while it is here... Thanks for your support and comments..greatly appreciated.🐝🐝
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    03/12/2016 #6 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    #2 @debasish majumder thank you...glad it resonates with you.🐝🐝
    FancyJ London 🎶
    03/12/2016 #5 FancyJ London 🎶
    What an insightful heartfelt post. I have two teenagers and can sympathise I am always looking for advice from other Mother's. After my children lost there father the hardest thing in the world to face was when my son came to me and said: "Mom, I was going to take the easy way out. I decided to stay, because I knew if I killed myself you probably wouldn't be strong enough to take care of my sister." Those words choked me in a way I could never express deeply enough.
    Lisa Gallagher
    03/12/2016 #4 Lisa Gallagher
    What a great buzz from the heart and so honest @Donna-Luisa Eversley! You wrote, "I'm not sure if I can ever be the mother she wishes for, but I am the mom she has." I used to feel the same, is your daughter a teen now? I thought my daughter would alway find fault with me because I had tight rules and I wasn't a conformist. Many of her friends were allowed to do whatever they wanted and lacked rules. So, I think many of us that do enforce our rules are seen as the witches or the enemy by our girls in particular. My son never challenged me and his personality differed. I can attest that my daughter and I are best friends today. She actually talks about some of her own past behavior and tells me she fully understands why I made the rules I did and should have been stricter with her haha. Can we say, things I never knew about?? I don't want to know now either! I think things will work out in the end, it just takes time and reassurance that you're doing the best you know how out of love! When it comes from a place of love, that's all that matters.
    Franci Eugenia Hoffman
    03/12/2016 #3 Franci Eugenia Hoffman
    Ah, those, on or about, teenage years when we thought we were invincible and we had to be cool. Our own pressures and our peer pressures can cause a lot of confusion. If we don't understand the confusion, then we place the blame elsewhere. So, mom - tag you're it. I feel certain it's a phase that will pass and your daughter will come around. Immaturity can wear many faces and only time will determine when the next step is taken. We are all a work in progress and remembering your other post, we will never be complete. https://donnaluisawordslayer.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/just-thinking-out-loud-life-with-me-is-a-limited-time-edition/
  4. ProducerTracy Poizner

    Tracy Poizner

    The Best Gift
    The Best GiftWhat do you wish for when you give a gift to your child? Do you want them to explode with delight when they open the paper? Do you want to see them at their happiest moment? Do you want to be able to fulfill your child's intense longing for...


    Mohammed A. Jawad
    25/11/2016 #1 Mohammed A. Jawad
    Yea...the more you're closer to your child, you not only give attention but you feel you can understand what your child is trying to communicate. ..either through broken words or looks. Isn't that good? You just give your child few moments and you'll feel the difference. After all, with love, care and timely attention, children grow well.
  5. ProducerMatt Sweetwood

    Matt Sweetwood

    3 Tips for Single Parents to Find Happiness During the Holiday Season
    3 Tips for Single Parents to Find Happiness During the Holiday SeasonPublished on The Good Men Project 11/20/16A dad who has “been there” gives single parents some important tips on surviving the holidays.—With Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve approaching, our thoughts naturally turn to what these...


    21/11/2016 #2 GERTRUDE MOSLEY
    Thanks so much for your truth. As a single parent this was very comforting and inspiring to read.
    Kevin Baker
    21/11/2016 #1 Kevin Baker
    I was single parent 25 yrs. The holidays are a great time to include other single parents and their children for public events and navigating this social plane becomes so much easier and more fun.
  6. ProducerLisa Gallagher

    Lisa Gallagher

    A Different Type of Leadership
    A Different Type of LeadershipMany women chose to stay at home and raise their children. Many of these same women give up good paying careers because they want to be home with their children. Some women feel undervalued and isolated, especially if they happen to be with a group...


    Savvy Raj
    02/12/2016 #18 Savvy Raj
    A very relevant write up from the heart of @Lisa Gallagher. Must add I reread your post with great interest. Have quoted you and shared your work in my recent post on a similar perspective ..Dignity of Being. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@savvy-raj/dignity-of-being .
    Lisa Gallagher
    18/11/2016 #17 Lisa Gallagher
    #14 I think what you did and continue to do is admirable @Deb Lange. Working part time, scheduling everything around your kids had to be stressful. That's why I always said, the grass is never greener on the other side. I worked full time until my kids (well my son) was almost 10. So, I can attest that no matter what a mom chooses to do or has to do in many cases (doesn't have a choice, that is) the bottom line: It's a very tough job but one none of us would trade no matter the circumstances. I can't imagine how hard it was taking care of your parents until they passed. Some people thrive on work, most people would love to be able to stay at home- everyone differs. It sure is a balancing act and life is not easy. Congrats on becoming a grandmother! Raising children is the most rewarding job but also a very stressful one given the circumstances or even the day ;-)
    Aurorasa Sima
    18/11/2016 #16 Aurorasa Sima
    #15 I think mothers will always feel guilty to some extent. Either because they go to work and wished they had more time for their kids or because they stay at home.
    Lisa Gallagher
    18/11/2016 #15 Lisa Gallagher
    #13 @Aurorasa Sima, I wonder if the younger generation feels this type of guilt today or if it was more common when I stayed home in the 90's? My daughter moved out in 2008.
    Deb Lange
    18/11/2016 #14 Deb Lange
    Such an important post! When I had my kids I started my own part time consulting business. That way I could have 3.00 meetings to pick up my kids from school. I could block out sports days, school holidays etc. looking back it was hard work doing everything. My kids are now young adults. I became a grandmother this year. The time needing to be with your kids even if we say 15-20 years, goes very quickly. When my kids were adults I then cared for my parents to age and die at home. I funded this myself and took time away from my business. I will work part time for the rest of my life in my own business. Doing intellectual work I can do this. I also need to as I have chosen to spend time doing work that is not paid. I don't know how young mums -and dads do it, working full time and bringing up kids.
    Aurorasa Sima
    18/11/2016 #13 Aurorasa Sima
    I´ve seen that with friends too. They felt strange when all of the other girls were working or even pursuing a career.

    In my opinion, there is no right or wrong. As you suggested: whatever works for both. I´m happy for every family who can afford the luxury to have someone staying at home.
    Lisa Gallagher
    17/11/2016 #12 Lisa Gallagher
    #9 Interesting yet sad story about the woman who chose to stay home @Vivian Chapman, yet her father made her feel as though she was a failure. I didn't mention in my buzz above how hard it is on many who go out to work and would much rather be at home who feel a lot of guilt too. That is another important topic, which is why I said the grass is never greener on the other side. Yes, there are women who love to work outside the home but many don't have the luxury of choosing. We did take a loss in our income and basically lived from pay to pay... but we managed. We were far from rich during those years and we are still playing 'catch up,' and my kids have been out of the home for almost 8 years.. my daughter lived at home while going to College. It's sad that women take on so much guilt whether they are home or out working but I guess it's human nature as a mom to do so. Thanks for your comment!!
    Lisa Gallagher
    17/11/2016 #11 Lisa Gallagher
    #8 Thanks for your comment @Sushmita Thakare Jain. You made a great point about parenting, it sure is a balancing and juggling act. Nothing is carved in stone when it comes to raising children whether one works outside the home or stays home with their children. There isn't a rule book when it comes to parenting! We will all make mistakes but I always told myself as long as I learn from them and remember it's the positive outcomes which outweigh the negatives that our children remember.
    Lisa Gallagher
    17/11/2016 #10 Lisa Gallagher
    #7 I'm glad your wife never regretted staying home with your children @Ali Anani. It's nice to hear she did things for herself too, because that is really important. Sounds as though she has some great talents. I'm sure both of you were and continue to be great role models for your children! Thanks for sharing Ali. I forgot to mention that its also important to keep individualism because our kids grow up so fast and many women feel lost when they leave the home.
    Vivian Chapman
    17/11/2016 #9 Vivian Chapman
    An important and interesting point of view. At one time, women had no choice: they had to stay at home. Now they also have no choice: they have to go out to work and leave the work of raising their children half-done. Well, they have no choice unless they are rich.
    There is an additional point about women who stay at home to raise their children, and that is, that the woman was always the one who passed on tradition, teaching their children who they are in the context of the rest of humanity and history. They were also the ones who taught spirituality and morality. They had the gift of nurturing not only their children's bodies, but also their souls. Men have never been as good at doing this.
    I also knew a woman whose father impressed on all his children, that her mother had wasted her brilliant mind by staying at home and raising their children. (Odd really, because I presume he had a hand in her having their large number of children!) This woman was extremely clever, got honours degrees and so on, but her gifts were in the domestic realm. She did stay at home to look after her children, but every time she got pregnant, she had overwhelming guilt feelings because her father wouldn't have wanted her to take the domestic role, and she felt a total failure.
    Sushmita Thakare Jain
    17/11/2016 #8 Sushmita Thakare Jain
    @Lisa Gallagher great leaders don't set out to be a Leader, they set out to make a Difference it's always about the goal and never about the role. When it comes to parenting I have not stepped up in to the shoes will in coming years I believe life is all about balancing and juggling, a journey which has no map or GPS to follow but to make a road of your own.
    Ali Anani
    17/11/2016 #7 Ali Anani
    @Lisa Gallagher- I love your balanced approach to the issue of working women. My wife is an outstanding engineer. She opted to quit her job to raise our three daughters. She has never regretted that. Accomplishments in raising three lovely daughters filled her with joy to see them growing and become achievers. She did, like you, manage sometime for herself. She enjoys drawing and designing (she is also a gifted clothing designer) and painter. I help her sometimes, but she would rather I don't. I am touched by your buzz because it touches my personal life.
    Lisa Gallagher
    17/11/2016 #6 Lisa Gallagher
    #5 I think the expats have a lot in common and they wouldn't feel guilty. I know many women in the US that do because so many do work outside of the home. It does depend on where you live. For example, my daughter in law lives in a progressive city in Colorado and she's met many women who also stay home. I"m glad you had the experience of staying home with your daughter and I bet you were tired! It sounds like it was extremely busy. What were the leaflets for @Dean Owen? Respect to men who don't expect their wives to do all the parenting too!!
    Dean Owen
    17/11/2016 #5 Dean Owen
    Many of the women I have talked to over the last few decades are expat wives who are perfectly content not to work and they hang out at the mall everyday or do yoga classes whilst the maid does the house. They do not feel guilty as far as I can see. Certainly some get bored and choose to work. For me personally, I can't think of a worse life than being an expat wife sitting around waiting for the next trip, but I respect their choice. I mentioned in an article I did a bit of single parenting when my wife was on assignment recently. Most tiring thing I have ever done in my life (and that includes handing out leaflets on street corners, fronting supermarket shelves, waiting tables, and working 16hr days in Global Capital Markets). Respect to all the single parents!
    Lisa Gallagher
    16/11/2016 #4 Lisa Gallagher
    #3 Hi @Richard Buse, looking back and even while in the midst of raising kids on one income, it wasn't easy at times but very worth it. For us it was a personal/values choice. I had no control how my kids were being raised during their formative years with the exception of being with them for about 4 hours each day prior to bedtime. The lack of income had an impact but it didn't compare to the emotional impact we felt when our kids were with sitters all day. The decision to stay home paid off 10 fold. You brought up a great point about men who stay at home, I've known 2 in my neighborhood and I noticed they were received a lot of accolades from many, accolades a woman would never receive. But kudos to them if he can stay home!
    Richard Buse
    16/11/2016 #3 Richard Buse
    @Lisa Gallagher Thanks for sharing this. I have a friend in his mid 40s. He makes more than $70,000 a year, but his wife makes more than that as a nurse practitioner. They have three children under 10. He’s considering becoming a stay at home dad. Huge child care costs would go away, but there would still be that drop in income. He and his wife are well aware that the general dilemma they’re facing (weighing income and career concerns against parenting/domestic concerns) is the same dilemma spouses have faced for decades, but that they are in a much better financial position than many families to rely upon one income. My friend is also aware women do not receive the attention or kudos he’s getting for considering family over career advancement.
    Lisa Gallagher
    16/11/2016 #2 Lisa Gallagher
    #1 i have no clue how much most parents pay for childcare in the US now, but im sure it may hinder some women from re-entering the workplace too. Its sad when couples really need the extra income but childcare makes it impossible. You have a lot of moms at home! Thats cool you help out @Pascal Derrien 🐝!
    Pascal Derrien 🐝
    16/11/2016 #1 Pascal Derrien 🐝
    In Ireland providing how prohibitive the cost of childcare is, the stay at home mum status is not a choice but an econcomic necessity insofar that it has prevented roughly more than 200 000 mothers to got back to work ( Pop. 4.6 M) triggering skills gap on the job market. Home chores are a very demanding job I try to do my fair share but we get extra help to come to terms with some aspects of it. :-)
  7. ProducerAlicia Clinton

    Alicia Clinton

    Do Kids Really Need Preschool?
    Do Kids Really Need Preschool?Mike and Helen are trying to decide whether to enroll their youngest daughter Tracy in the local preschool. Because Helen works only a few hours a week, Mike feels that she should look after Tracy, at least until her formal schooling begins. Helen,...
  8. The Mom Connection
    Looking for a school or childcare for the kids? Check out these options! http://www.mymomconnection.com/schools-and-childcare.htmlThe Mom Connection
  9. Jared Wiese 🐝
    Jared Wiese 🐝
    The Morning After: What You Should Tell Your Kids About This Election
    www.linkedin.com Now that this election is over, what should we tell our kids? It’s a question that populated my Facebook feed late last night, and was brought up by more than one pundit as the election reached...


    Jared Wiese 🐝
    09/11/2016 #1 Jared Wiese 🐝
    It starts with OUR house, not some White house.
  10. ProducerNikki Petersen

    Nikki Petersen

    Narcissism and Non-Identity
    Narcissism and Non-IdentityI recently had to have a very frank discussion with my kids about what it means to be the child of a narcissist (their father). As they get older, I feel more able to have these types of conversations with them because they are my emotional...


    Katja Bader
    14/11/2016 #21 Katja Bader
    #18 Your buzz is still in my head. I bought a good book to this topic, in German of course, but it´s available in English, too: Nina W. Brown "Children of the Self-Absorbed".
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #20 Nikki Petersen
    I'm sorry, Renée. I thought that's what you meant when you said, "they really don't care how their behaviour affects others." You're right, that's definitely sociopathic/psychopathic.
    Renée Cormier
    09/11/2016 #19 Renée Cormier
    #14 I never said they lack conscience. That's a feature of psychopaths.
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #18 Nikki Petersen
    @Katja, I am actually pretty lucky that he's no longer in our lives. Of course, I would never wish harm on anyone, including my ex, but he's no longer living. I'm grateful that the chaos no longer affects us. #12
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #17 Nikki Petersen
    #5 Hi Deb and thanks so much! I'm still trying to get the hang of it! :)
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #16 Nikki Petersen
    #6 Right, Renee. The not knowing is when you're blaming yourself. Finding your way out of that can be tough when you're a kid because you don't have the emotional maturity to see the world for what it is (which, some would argue, is a good thing). I'm so glad you are healing.
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #15 Nikki Petersen
    #9 That's exactly it. I'm trying, but honestly, the grip of a narcissistic parent is so pervasive that it's a really tough uphill battle. It's horrible to hear my wonderful baby say that he's worthless and would be better off dead. I've been hearing that since he was 5 or 6. As an empath, I also experienced this existential depression related to my lack of identity. It took decades for me to get it, with therapy. I hope that I will be able to help him enough that he can also find his way out.
    Nikki Petersen
    09/11/2016 #14 Nikki Petersen
    Not all narcissists have a lack of conscience, but that definitely complicates things. #7
    Chris Dixon
    08/11/2016 #13 Chris Dixon
    Wow. That feeling of utter relatability coupled with seething frustration from not being able to safely share one's experiences publicly online (court ordered, no kidding!)... Thank you, Nikki and friends. {{{group hug}}}
    Katja Bader
    08/11/2016 #12 Katja Bader
    Thank you for this great buzz, Nikki. You write so many words, that I felt when I was with my (now Ex-) husband, who is a narcissist and our children.
    A narcissist always sees parts of himself in his children and wants to create them to a copy of himself. He tries to implant his meanings, ideas, dreams etc in his children. That could have bad results for the children and can take years to heal it. I always want to find out the real and own personality of the children and promote them as much as I can.
    Max Carter
    08/11/2016 #11 Max Carter
    As an Empath I can relate.
    Jared Wiese 🐝
    08/11/2016 #10 Jared Wiese 🐝
    #9 I heard from Brian Tracy that the number one thing a parent owes his/her child is self-esteem... "a place where they are accepted for themselves"
    Paul Frank Gilbert
    08/11/2016 #9 Paul Frank Gilbert
    Flawed and imperfect as we are ... there is something particularly sad and seemingly humanly wrong about a parent that would divide their children into such classifications as to have them sense for one moment a feeling of less. Less love. Less acceptance. Less understanding. Less trust. Less expectation ... hope ... ability ... on and on.

    The world is a tough place. Life is not fair. But we all want our kids to know with certainty that they have a place where they are accepted for themselves, where a mistake or a weakness does not define them and label them. We want to for them to see a place for themselves in the world and to be strong enough to fight for it if necessary.

    Sounds like you are a great parent.
    Jared Wiese 🐝
    08/11/2016 #8 Jared Wiese 🐝
    #6 What an insightful (not incite-ful) response, Renée! ;)
    Great advice.
    Renée Cormier
    08/11/2016 #7 Renée Cormier
    #3 #4 The irony here is that narcissists really don't care how their behaviour affects others, including their children. All non-narcissists try to do the right thing.
    Renée Cormier
    08/11/2016 #6 Renée Cormier
    As the daughter of a narcissist and the sibling of at least one, I can tell you it took me some time to figure out what was wrong with our family. I found my way to heal over the years but the healing really came once I realized what I was dealing with. It's the not knowing period that is the most damaging because you are constantly being manipulated and you can't see or understand what is going on. The upside of my early life is that it has enabled me to become very good at managing people and their emotions. As long as your children understand the divisive and manipulative tactics that narcissists rely on and when they are being played, they will be able to avoid the trap of seeking approval, being afraid or being resentful of other family members.
    Deb Helfrich
    08/11/2016 #5 Deb Helfrich
    A very warm welcome to beBee, @Nikki Petersen. This is a great lesson on a number of topics. Primarily that we get the kids we create, and that will shape the rest of their lives. Further, this point about understanding oneself as a business person is crucial:

    "If you're thinking about going into business for yourself (or you're already there), please get to know yourself and what your challenges are. Without that introspection and self-correction, you aren't likely to make it far."
    Nikki Petersen
    08/11/2016 #4 Nikki Petersen
    Thanks, Jared!
    Jared Wiese 🐝
    08/11/2016 #3 Jared Wiese 🐝
    I spoke too soon. What an amazing, though provoking post. A MUST READ for parents...

    "If you are a parent, please consider how deeply you impact your kids... in a big picture sense, about the adults we're cultivating.
    Jared Wiese 🐝
    08/11/2016 #2 Jared Wiese 🐝
  11. The Mom Connection
    It's almost #holidayseason ! Looking for some ideas? Check these out! http://www.mymomconnection.com/the-mom-s-shopping-guide.html #Hanukkah #Christmas #Santa #onlineshopping The Mom Connection
  12. The Mom Connection
    Don't feel like cooking tonight? Check out these great #family spots!
    The Mom Connection
  13. Amy Walton

    Amy Walton

    Letting go of the old ushers in new possibilities!
    Amy Walton
    But It's Only a Sofa!- A Sentimental Sap Closes Another Chapter - Amy Walton Coaching
    www.amywaltoncoaching.com “C’mon, Amy, it’s only a sofa!” At least four people have said something to that effect to me in the last few weeks. You see, I was in mourning, deeply mourning the letting go of a piece of furniture, one that is nowhere close to being a family...


    Amy Walton
    04/11/2016 #1 Amy Walton
    Closing the chapter on my child-raising years has been difficult for this widowed mother who raised my sons alone. The sofa was a start....
  14. ProducerAllison Obrien

    Allison Obrien

    Happy Friday!
    Happy Friday!I have had such a positive experience since joining beBee a few weeks ago!  I wanted to requite the kindness I have received from so many bees by sharing a little "Friday Happiness".  My son Tarl Shamus is 8 years old and he is the sunshine in my...


    Praveen Raj Gullepalli
    08/11/2016 #29 Praveen Raj Gullepalli
    That was so heart-warming Allison! Tarl's mesmerised response to the song, you reaction of sheer surprise and delight...priceless! ahh the entrancing power of Blues! ;) When my kids were that age...I used Bob Marley and his reggae music to soothe them...sometimes even as a lullaby! Tarl's got the Blues! :) Let him keep listenin!
    Claire Cardwell
    08/11/2016 #28 Claire Cardwell
    Love it - especially as I was up at 3am this morning!
    Irene Hackett
    08/11/2016 #27 Anonymous
    #24 LOL!! 😄😄
    Allison Obrien
    08/11/2016 #26 Allison Obrien
    #23 Thank you so much for joining and sharing @Irene Hackett! I look forward to seeing your buzz's in the hive! Hope you had a great Monday!
    Allison Obrien
    08/11/2016 #25 Allison Obrien
    Thanks for keeping the buzz going @Javier beBee and @Milos Djukic I am so glad to know that there are so many people who seem to enjoy watching this video almost as much as I do..Lol! The Mommy is always the #1 fan...Lol!
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #24 Allison Obrien
    #23 Glad to Finally know a woman who is as beautiful and fast acting as I am @Irene Hackett!! Lol!
    Irene Hackett
    07/11/2016 #23 Anonymous
    #22 wow - that was fast! 👍 I just joined and shared
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #22 Allison Obrien
    #21 I created it last night @Irene Hackett..Lol! I don't mess around..Lol! "Videos and Photos to Brighten Your Day" I posted this video to it already.
    Irene Hackett
    07/11/2016 #21 Anonymous
    #20 I will join! Let us know when it is created!
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #20 Allison Obrien
    #19 Thanks @Irene Hackett! Now I just need some members other than myself! Lol!!
    Irene Hackett
    07/11/2016 #19 Anonymous
    #18 great hive idea @Allison Obrien!!
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #18 Allison Obrien
    #13 Thank you so much for your kindness and support @Irene Hackett! I think am going to create a new hive 'Videos and Photos to Brighten Your Day". I am glad you enjoyed the video and there will be more fun buzzes coming from this little bee very soon! ;)
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #17 Allison Obrien
    #12 Thank you so much for responding with some great suggestions @Pamela L. Williams! I think I am going to create a new hive "Videos and Photos to Brighten Your Day". I am glad you had a chance to watch the video also! You are very sweet and I really appreciate all of the encouragement and support you have given me!
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #16 Allison Obrien
    #11 Thank you for responding @Javier beBee! I am so impressed by the kindness and support I have received from many different members of the beBee community.
    Allison Obrien
    07/11/2016 #15 Allison Obrien
    #10 Hi @Deb Helfrich. Thank you for responding so quickly, you gave me some very helpful information. It is good to know that photo carousels will be an added feature soon. I am so glad that I was able to reach out for help and received some great advise!
    Pamela L. Williams
    06/11/2016 #14 Pamela L. Williams
    Okay had to watch before the store. That is adorable and the facial expressions were priceless. Way to raise a kid! on BB King! Hey @Robert Bacal your next Blues Star!
    Irene Hackett
    06/11/2016 #13 Anonymous
    #9 Yes @Allison Obrien, share in any hive you think is fitting! Each hive offers a brief description, which may be helpful while choosing. And of course, you always have the option of creating a new hive - fun right? Keep sharing, I'm looking forward to more of your buzzes!
    Pamela L. Williams
    06/11/2016 #12 Pamela L. Williams
    #9 Well if you want to keep record on beBee, then consider building your own hive and name it after yourself or create one called; Personal Videos or Videos to Make You Smile and others can share their videos. But as Javier says: share where you think most suitable. Look through the hives and the owners have usually put a description of what they want to see there. Relax @Allison Obrien and just enjoy beBee. There are very few hives where the owners want certain things, but their descriptions make that obvious. Now I have to run to the store but I'm going to watch this video when I get back. Everyone needs to smile! :-) Thank you for sharing with the Bees!
    Javier beBee
    06/11/2016 #11 Javier beBee
    #9 @Allison Obrien please feel free to share what you want through the hives you think are more suitable !!!
    Deb Helfrich
    06/11/2016 #10 Deb Helfrich
    Good question, @Allison Obrien. People certainly do share these kinds of videos and photos, and I enjoy them. I don't really know about the right hives...although

    I run a Canine Companions hive for dog photos. Pictures of cars and sunsets are extremely popular, so I'd certainly hope there would be an adorable kid hive! I will leave that to the parents to chime in.

    I do want to mention that a buzz can be shared only with our followers, that is the default if you don't pick a hive, as it isn't required to share to a hive. So I'd do that if I wanted to share a bunch of photos of, say a birthday party, and then the other bees could share the ones that grab people out to other hives....although, we will soon have photo carousels...
  15. ProducerKenneth Overton

    Kenneth Overton

    Eliminating Bad Habits for Your Children
    Eliminating Bad Habits for Your ChildrenWhen it comes to our kids, it can be hard to tell what's really best for them. Of course we want them to turn into happy, well-balanced, successful adults, but how exactly do we make that happen? It turns out, sometimes it matter more what we don't...


    Gillian Pearl
    02/11/2016 #1 Gillian Pearl
    Great points and I completely agree. It is true that the list is not exhaustive but focusing on any one of the 5 is a good start/reminder for all of us parents. Along the same lines of maintaining health and wellness within our families, I would also add Being Respectful to one another in the home. Kids hear everything. If we are rude/abrupt/harsh to our spouse, we cannot (or should not) be surprised when our children are in turn the same way with us. Unfortunately - lesson learned from experience... Fortunately - lesson learned.
  16. Allen Merck

    Allen Merck

    Please check out my blog First Generation Father.
    Allen Merck
    First Generation Father
    www.firstgenfather.com Parenting from a male...
  17. ProducerDean Owen

    Dean Owen

    Two Lost Letters but no Love Lost
    Two Lost Letters but no Love LostI have not been dreading this day. I actually had no idea this day would come. It started off much like yesterday. The “trouble and strife” was away for a couple of days on assignment in Wuxi so it fell to me to be up at the break of dawn and...


    Sarah Elkins
    31/10/2016 #45 Sarah Elkins
    #43 Don't correct her, @Dean Owen. She'll figure it out soon enough. The only time I corrected our boys for things like that was when I knew they'd be embarrassed in front of their peers if I didn't. Just enjoy it for now, you know it will go away soon!
    Dean Owen
    27/10/2016 #44 Dean Owen
    #42 is it not compulsory in kindergarten? It is here in China, and was in Singapore and Japan too. I guess when English is the native language, the people that be think another language is not necessary. I also did French (and Latin), but it is quite difficult to learn in your teens if your only exposure is a one hour class, 5 days a week. Very easy if someone plonks you in the foreign country.
    Dean Owen
    27/10/2016 #43 Dean Owen
    #41 pasgetti! Now that is funny. My girl calls this thing I am typing on an ipapad! I don't want to correct her!
    Lisa Gallagher
    26/10/2016 #42 Lisa Gallagher
    #40 It's amazing how fast children pick up a second language @Dean Owen, that's why I've always been a proponent of kids being taught a second Language in America from Kindergarten or 1st grade on up. I learned French (remember very little) in HS and it was hard. I took Spanish in College and I was unable to learn transitions with verbs and adjectives. The class was only 1 night a week and sort of like a speed class. I had to drop out. Most of the adults in that class were either refreshing what they already knew or did Business in Mexico and Spain.
    Sarah Elkins
    26/10/2016 #41 Sarah Elkins
    I remember so many of those moments -- those bittersweet moments -- when our boys turned a corner from little to big. From pasgetti to spaghetti, from mommy to mom. Our older son will be 18 tomorrow and I cannot believe it. He's big now, like a man, but I still see that sweet boy with the big brown eyes and dimple. It does fly by, and I'm so grateful for every memory. Nice reminder, @Dean Owen.
    Dean Owen
    26/10/2016 #40 Dean Owen
    #39 Thanks Lisa. Enjoying every moment, especially now we can actually hold conversations and at 4, she is completely bilingual. Amazing I have been in China 9 years now, and can't speak the language, but at 4 she is fluent...
    Lisa Gallagher
    26/10/2016 #39 Lisa Gallagher
    @Dean Owen, how did I miss this wonderful story?! First let me state for the record, Ashley is a doll!! You had me guessing for a second as to why the tone changed after Ashley asked for yogurt. Awe, I bet your right, it was the cartoons!! It makes you feel as though she's growing up too fast when she goes from calling you daddy to dad. I bet the phase will pass. Maybe just keep asking her, "Don't you mean daddy?" If she say's no, let it go and try again unless it becomes a non-issue for you. I remember calling my dad, daddy until he died. I was 11 and still calling him that. I'm sure I referred to him as dad to my friends by that age. It's so hard to watch our kids grow. I still call my grown children my kids. By the way, I had a friend who always called her mom by her first name. I asked her why? She said, "Because I decided I don't like to call her mom." Her mom was (and still is) the most awesome woman. Well she calls her mom now. I'm so glad, because "Louise" sure earned her title, mom.
    Dean Owen
    23/10/2016 #38 Dean Owen
    #37 I am surprised to learn that Appa is also the word for father in Korea, Hungary and Tibet!
    Savvy Raj
    23/10/2016 #37 Savvy Raj
    So much to endearing names to address a father . At home it is a Daddy for my daughter and in front of her friends it is shortened Dad and then of course in formal situations when she is speaking about him it is father . But generally in India a lot of children in the south call their father 'Appa'. Loved reading this one @Dean.
    Donna-Luisa Eversley
    23/10/2016 #36 Donna-Luisa Eversley
    @Dean Owen...daddy, yes little madam is growing up..I understand , mammy is different from mom or mother, but then, they listen to the television and friends so now it's mom..😊
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #35 Dean Owen
    #34 Because that title really needs to be earned I've added a short (15 sec) video that I took last week to the buzz :) Thanks Fatima!
    Fatima Williams
    22/10/2016 #34 Fatima Williams
    #30 @Dean Owen Thanks for the Kind comment ( First need to get married LOL) . I don't celebrate Diwali but looking forward to Christmas just a month and a half left.
    BTW you are one amazing DAD Oops sorry One amazing Daddy and we can all see that.#rockstardaddy
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #33 Dean Owen
    #28 I am petrified Ken-san, of actually losing her in a shopping mall or wherever as it was pointed out to me that if you lose a child in China, China being so huge, you'd probably never see her again. Need to Find your Child app!
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #32 Dean Owen
    #26 I'm way ahead of you there with three girls, the eldest of which is dating her college heartthrob, the captain of the American Football team.
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #31 Dean Owen
    #25 Thanks. I used to fear fatherhood but there is nothing like it.
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #30 Dean Owen
    #24 I have no doubt you'll be a beautiful caring mom when the time comes @Fatima Williams. Thanks for stopping by. Wish you a Happy Diwali if you celebrate it.
    Dean Owen
    22/10/2016 #29 Dean Owen
    #20 do you like your knees lol 😬. That was an IRA tactic if I recall rightly. I remember delivering a girl back to her parents in the morning after swatting for exams the whole night. Her boisterous father was standing by the road waiting. As soon as I turned up in my Renault 5 he came storming toward us, fist in the air. Naturally I chickened out and drove off...I was a wimpy teen.
    Ken Boddie
    22/10/2016 #28 Ken Boddie
    One other thing I've found, Dean-san. When you have a boy-child, you only have one boy in the neighbourhood to worry about. But when you have a girl-child, you have ALL the boys in the neighbourhood to worry about!!!!!!!!! 😰
    Irene Hackett
    22/10/2016 #27 Anonymous
    hahaha - you 'nailed it' @Paul Walters!
    Paul Walters
    22/10/2016 #26 Paul Walters
    @Dean Owen After two girls doing exactly the same thing I can sympathise ...It kinda hurts. However I can assure you that during teenage years when something is desired ( a night out during school week or something expensive) the moniker "daddy' will be re employed and I tell you what, it works every time .
  18. ProducerScott Moore

    Scott Moore

    Have you ever read Robert Kiyosaki's "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"?
    Have you ever read Robert Kiyosaki's "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"?I picked this book up the first time several years ago when I was in Topeka, Kansas for a job.  I had a few days of downtime so I went to a book store and browsed and found the above mentioned book.I didn't get a chance to finish the book that day...
  19. ProducerScott Moore

    Scott Moore

    Develop a skill that allows you true personal freedom
    Develop a skill that allows you true personal freedomWe can develop many skills in our lifetime.  We are taught to try and find a skill that matches our passion, or passions.  Sometimes we can combine our job and our passion, but in many cases we use our extra income from our jobs to support our...
  20. Jena Ball

    Jena Ball

    Why empathy and compassion? Listen to the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu talk about the strength it takes to forgive: https://www.facebook.com/DesmondTutuOfficial/videos/898466970297303/
    @Deb Helfrich @Deb Helfrich @Don Kerr @Giampiero Vilardi @Milos Djukic @Mamen Delgado
    Jena Ball


    Jena Ball
    11/10/2016 #3 Jena Ball
    #1 Yes he is amazing. No ego...but infused with great energy and a warm heart and great sense of humor.
    Milos Djukic
    11/10/2016 #2 Anonymous
    Thanks @Jena Ball.
  21. ProducerScott Moore

    Scott Moore

    Had a good workout with my son today
    Had a good workout with my son todayI agree with Zig Ziglar that our kids spell love T-I-M-E.  Like many people I have typically always worked quite a bit of overtime with occasional travel in my line of work.My son has become old enough now that we can go to the gym together, with...
  22. Jena Ball

    Jena Ball

    October is Anti-bullying month. If you'd like your kids to experience a fun,creative and engaging way to combat bullies, invite Ms. Jenaia to visit. Your kids will learn important communication skills in a collaborative, entertaining program grounded in a story. For more information, visit:http://critterkin.com/programs-and-fees/anti-bullying/inzpired-bully/Jena Ball
  23. Phil Friedman

    Phil Friedman

    Looking back on this piece more than a year later, it seems as though someone else wrote it... It is one of my favorites, though... https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/three-points-advice-my-teenage-phil-friedman Phil Friedman


    Phil Friedman
    25/09/2016 #14 Phil Friedman
    #13 Thank you, Paul, for taking the time to let me know that. This one is very close to my heart, and it is gratifying to hear from you and others that you like it, as well. Cheers!
    Paul "Pablo" Croubalian
    25/09/2016 #13 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian
    I have this post pinned to my wall... the real one in my office
    Phil Friedman
    25/09/2016 #12 Phil Friedman
    #11 Thank you, Gert, for reading, and for the kind words. My best to you and yours. Cheers!
    Gert Scholtz
    25/09/2016 #11 Gert Scholtz
    @Phil Friedman Thank you Phil for setting out important values which I would like to instill in my two teenage children. A really good read.
    Phil Friedman
    24/09/2016 #10 Phil Friedman
    #9 Thank you, Pascal, for taking the time to read and say so. It really is one of my favorites. Cheers!
    Pascal Derrien 🐝
    24/09/2016 #9 Pascal Derrien 🐝
    And still a great read ☺
    Phil Friedman
    24/09/2016 #8 Phil Friedman
    #7 thank you for reading (again), and for the kind words. I am pleased you enjoyed the piece.
    Fatima Williams
    24/09/2016 #7 Fatima Williams
    I remember reading this @Phil Friedman This has imparted joy while reading and is a great post. It's lovely to read it again.
    Phil Friedman
    24/09/2016 #6 Phil Friedman
    #3 Thank you Jena, for reading and for the kind words. This is one of my favorite pieces precisely because it seems to have imparted to so many some bit of joy... Which is not something I am well known for. Cheers and best of luck in the future.
    Phil Friedman
    24/09/2016 #5 Phil Friedman
    #2 Because Aurorasa, I had to adopt a fathering, but lecturing voice, and at the time picture myself as some like Ralph Waldo Emerson. Me, a kid from the streets of inner-city Chicago.
    Jena Ball
    24/09/2016 #4 Jena Ball
    I loved this, not only for the wisdom imparted but for the love that shines from every word.
    Jena Ball
    24/09/2016 #3 Jena Ball
    I loved this, not only for the wisdom imparted but for the love that shines from every word. Having grown up without a supportive father, I can only hope your daughter cherishes the letter and you. What a gift. Thank you for sharing.
    Aurorasa Sima
    24/09/2016 #2 Aurorasa Sima
    I was grinning. It´s so Phil. Why do you feel it´s like someone else wrote it?
    Phil Friedman
    24/09/2016 #1 Phil Friedman
    It is interesting and gratifying that a number of my older posts on LinkedIn's publishing platform are still alive and being read. Thanks to all for reading and commenting.
  24. ProducerMarcel Kuhn Bamert
    How we grow healthy, curious and confident kids
    How we grow healthy, curious and confident kidsWhen people ask me what I do, I answer that I am first and foremost a father of three amazing boys, a husband to a wonderful wife and then all the rest. I think that job titles lead to entitlement and that they are overrated in our society. When...


    Marcel Kuhn Bamert
    16/09/2016 #3 Marcel Kuhn Bamert
    #1 @Lisa Gallagher - beautifully said. I agree with you. It is interesting that it is the small things that make the big difference. I experienced the same as you - my kids don't need toys to be happy. A wooden stick can be anything they imagine.
    Pascal Derrien 🐝
    16/09/2016 #2 Pascal Derrien 🐝
    a recipe for a happy family we have a similar framework well done you (and your wife obviously :-))
    Lisa Gallagher
    16/09/2016 #1 Lisa Gallagher
    @Marcel Kuhn Bamert, it sounds like you laid a great foundation for your family. You both have your hands full but as you mentioned, you keep your youth by staying active with your children. I love your daily rituals and I think it's very beneficial for children too. The best times in my life were the times we ventured outdoors to find a new and exciting place (visually). Kids are easy to please and we found that it was never about toys and gifts but the simple pleasures in life that our kids carry with them today and are now passing on to their own children. Kudos for giving your wife major props!!
  25. ProducerMatt Sweetwood

    Matt Sweetwood

    He spent over $1 million in his divorce — Matt Sweetwood of the Man-Up Project
    He spent over $1 million in his divorce — Matt Sweetwood of the Man-Up ProjectThis is a transcription of my interview with Shawn Leamon, MBA and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, host of the Divorce and Your Money Show, the #1 radio show discussing personal finance issues in divorce.                               You can...


    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #37 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    #36 I love that you have self-awareness and are able to project your life into the future. I wish more people could define themselves. Hat's off to you!
    Brian McKenzie
    14/09/2016 #36 Brian McKenzie
    Hate takes too much effort and energy - I simply don't draw them in my life plan. I have gone 30 years as an adult without getting married or breeding pups, I am well prepared to go another 30.
    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #34 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    @Matt Sweetwood: I wrote a 500+ page book on Age Management Medicine for Women. But it includes everything that a single Dad needs complete with progressive and age-appropriate chapters/appendices to give your daughter to read (e.g, how to insert a tampon). It starts off with the history of what Aristotle thought of various body secretions. Perfectly normal stuff to talk about and I guarantee you that 99% of women will not have heard about the things I discuss freely. That First Talk is important (and did you know that there are menstrual cups?). I thoroughly cover events rom the First Period through a woman's lifetime of sex, marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, motherhood, invisible illnesses, Quality of Life, humor, the history of Aristotle and WIlliam C. Stead (Europeans should know him -as we all should; I'd like to see him in our History books). Pertinent 1/3 is for people over 35 ~chronic metabolic syndrome, Pre-Diabetes, heart disease, Caregiving, finding Long-Term Care for parents, Informed Consent and Ethics, Death and Dying. Timeless stuff ~age management is important for you. My book: http://www.drmargaretaranda.tateauthor.com/other-works/ Manopause/menopause huge discussions. Immunonutrition, i think you should be on an immunonutrition low-glycemic diet. :)
    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #33 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    #17 You're absolutely right that in the medical profession, we "count" a divorce as a death. Three life stressors in a year or so make a man more prone to a heart attack. So it's seriously true that you need to take care of your physical nutrition and mental health, @Matt Sweetwood. Particularly since you want to be well-slept for each and every morning. If you went to an Age Management Doctor, you'd probably be on an eating plan to avoid something we call chronic metabolic disorder. Briefly, increased belly weight leads to heart disease (#1 killer), diabetes, and more. I like Immunonutrition and I'll copy the blog here as a Producer. For all those that are hitting their 40's ~it's time to look at each bite you put in your mouth. You're probably already Pre-Diabetic if you can't stand up and see your toes. Food is either medicine or poison and there's no other way. I have a 500+ book on Age Management for Girls, Women and Single Dads with daughters (ya know, that First Talk...and did you know there are menstrual Cups?). 'No' on the Gardasil vaccination (it can cause dysautonomia or paralysis; the vaccine has been banned in India, Spain and Europe for years) and Essure Fallopian tube contraception. Title: Archives of the Vagina: A Journey through Time. Guess I'll have to explain that as a Producer, too! http://www.DrMargaretAranda.tateauthor/other-works/ I start with Aristotle.
    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #32 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    #29 (So @David B. Grinberg, I'd tell your friend not to file for Divorce until after an amiable agreement is reached and no one will argue for anything else.)#24 I left this thought to it's own Comment, because Yes! Single Dads ROCK! (And I don't care ~ this is one time I'll yell it out as a Cheerleader!) My Dad was my best father and I was too stupid to know that not all men are like him. With 7 kids, he always made me feel like I was his only, favorite daughter. The father:child bond is so powerful and what you have with your children will only add more outstanding quality to the natural resilience the youth have in overcoming familial adversity. A huge component for them is that they have one another. What group therapy, to know instinctively that they'll get through this! With you as a Dad, they'll all make you proud ~ I'd say to still talk to them about the kind of qualities to look for in a marriage partner. My Dad wasn't good at those things, figuring we would learn by osmosis. Rocket scientist that he was, the man was an incredible father. Reflecting on how he "did it" (never remarried, @Brian McKenzie ~hated women) only leaves one to ponder further since it turns out that he and his siblings were all sent away to different Boarding Schools. They never even had one CHristmas together. My Dad was just pure love. ;)
    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #31 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    #25 16 years is ...just unimaginable, @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian. I'm at the tail end of a 5+ year divorce (it's been Final but for the retirement $). Left on disability after 10 years, my ex left me and our child without essentials too horrible to be publicly mentioned. My lawyers all quit after flailing a bit just waiting for me to actually fire them. But the brain injury, you know and then a neurologist let me drop to the hard wood floor when he didn't catch my fall with my eyes closed ~ so during the proceedings, I sustained a 2nd traumatic brain injury (@David B. Grinberg, an 'open' brain injury is truly hard to survive). My Ex and his lawyer convinced the "Judge" that I'm pretending to be sick. So I'm in Pro Per mangling along as "leftover" assets are "split." (We won't even talk about the 'missing 6 figures') Oh yeah, he took the child. And stopped paying the mortgage, forcing the house into foreclosure. I just keep saying that God sees everything and you know what? No one poisoned me or put me away in a mental institution, taking all my potential income with them as Conservators. So, hey ~ I'm getting away with my life.
    Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    14/09/2016 #30 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD
    #24 #17 #15 #10 I read all the Comments first for completeness (usually I don't, to maintain my own opinion). Much praise to God and let us try to look at the Positives. That's hard to do, but let's look at this startling scenario: when a mother leaves small children and commits suicide, that's when a good doctor (or divorce attorney) should think that she had undiagnosed Postpartum Depression. It makes a woman want to throw her babies out of a 3-story window. Undiagnosed, it's another Invisible Illness afflicting millions of women worldwide. My friend and his wife are currently caring for 7 children as 5 are now motherless after, yes, the mom committed suicide. So @Matt Sweetwood, it may seem like little consolation now, but thank God she didn't leave the children motherless at that age. No one will ever know why things happened ~but I became a mother at age 13 when my mother left 7 kids. My father was a single parent in 1972 and the Judge mocked him, saying he 'never heard of a man who raised 7 kids on his own.' While the devastation of being without her rang true, I was relieved that I didn't have her to interrupt my Mother's Day strawberry cakes I baked for my Dad. That's just how children think. So the first thing I want to say after giving you a hug is that Your Children are So Blessed. Thank God they weren't all drowned in a tub. Because that is the reality of Postpartum Depression. It's a grave mental illness. Kiss those children and God continue to Bless them ...and You! You Are A Very Rich Man!
    David B. Grinberg
    14/09/2016 #29 David B. Grinberg
    Thanks for sharing your story, Matt. You deserve many accolades for how you got yourself into better physical condition, took care of those cute kids, and launched the Man-Up Project. Those are all major lifetime accomplishments.
    Perhaps you can share some advice and wisdom about this situation: I have a good friend who is about to get divorced. There are no kids. The separation lasted longer than the marriage (5-years). One reason the separation lasted so long was so could keep his separated wife on his health plan, as she has a "closed head" brain injury. In addition, he helped her out financially during the separation by paying her car monthly car lease and insurance, as well as emergency money requests.
    Well, here's the kicker. Her elderly mother just died and she inherited about $2 million, albeit via an irrevocable trust. So here are my questions;
    1) Now, being a millionaire, can she still make financial claims on my friend's employer-provided retirement plan for instance?
    2) Does my friend have any legal avenue to pursue part of the inherited money, as they are still technically married.
    3) How would you suggest proceeding in this type of situation? Like mediation or just filing for divorce?
    Keep in mind my friend has been living with his girlfriend for the entire 6-years of the separation. Also, my friend doesn't have a lot of savings to spend on high-priced divorce lawyers. Thus, thanks for any advice you or others might have which I can pass along pro bono.
    Lisa Gallagher
    14/09/2016 #28 Lisa Gallagher
    cc; @Jeremy Kossen @Renee Harrison I hope you hear/read this.
    Lisa Gallagher
    14/09/2016 #27 Lisa Gallagher
    Great interview @Matt Sweetwood! Let me first say, I admire you as a father and a man. Your children are lucky to have such a wonderful dad like yourself and I'm sure they feel the same.

    I'm going to admit, I am not a feminist. I believe in equal rights for all. I have seen men get screwed over very bad in the court system and after hearing your story it literally angered me that you had to go through this as do other men and it brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I've seen women go through it too, but not to the same degree I've witnessed men, not close.

    I have an ex-brother in law who was probably was close to losing his mind or worse by the time his divorce was final. His ex-wife (now) was having an affair, she even got permission to go to Texas with the guy she had the affair with, her ex was hoping she'd come back and realize she stilled loved him. To add insult to injury, she had numerous affairs before this. She filed for divorce and got alimony for 10 years in Ohio along with 50% of his retirement and what ever was left from the sale of their home they had to split 50/50. She was abusive, not him. Many women don't realize how abusive some women can be and the man will keep taking it because of either the children, or hoping it will just stop? Not sure.. for similar reasons women stay in abusive relationships.

    As I heard your story I felt my heart rate going up, so I can't IMAGINE the stress you endured. Thank you for sharing this, it's such an important story for people to hear.
    Michael D. Davis
    14/09/2016 #26 Michael D. Davis
    #21 Well, @Matt Sweetwood, You certainly won't hear me arguing anything to the contrary!
    Paul "Pablo" Croubalian
    14/09/2016 #25 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian
    #23 Hey that which does not kill me and all that stuff...
    Matt Sweetwood
    14/09/2016 #24 Matt Sweetwood
    #12 Single dads rock!
    Matt Sweetwood
    14/09/2016 #23 Matt Sweetwood
    #15 16 years is crazy. Sorry to hear that.
    Matt Sweetwood
    14/09/2016 #22 Matt Sweetwood
    #11 Thank you @Franci Eugenia Hoffman. First the book, then Hollywood.
    Matt Sweetwood
    14/09/2016 #21 Matt Sweetwood
    #20 #oneinamillion
    Michael D. Davis
    13/09/2016 #20 Michael D. Davis
    A great read @Matt Sweetwood . We ought to team up. Of course I've been married for 40 years to the same wonderful woman. What makes her wonderful? She puts up with me!
    Matt Sweetwood
    13/09/2016 #19 Matt Sweetwood
    #16 That is assuming your soon-to-be-ex is willing to do mediation. Many times they just want you destroyed.
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