- Producer24/04/201710 Rules to Determine Whether Any Relationship Will Steal Your HappinessAn edited version published originally on the Thought Catalog 4/21/17I firmly believe that happiness in life is most affected by the quality of our relationships. We all have a variety of relationships like the ones with casual acquaintances,...
Comments24/04/2017 #15 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#14 Well, this is an interesting UNINTENDED feature of non-collaborative buzzes. We really do have a hive mind, even when writing in isolated, non-connected comment boxes, the ways in which we are all here, for a reason, participating in building something that may truly contribute to making the world a more collaborative place.
Plus, I really value your additional perspective, Sara - because when we find ourselves with these types of relationships that aren't serving us, there is very often a root cause or a similar pattern in our childhood that is begging to be examined, understood, and released. Bad relationships happen to good people because they feel similar in some way to an earlier attachment.24/04/2017 #13 Sara Jacobovici#6 Thanks for the tag @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood. I agree, "I firmly believe that happiness in life is most affected by the quality of our relationships." But neither happiness and/or relationships, as your list reflects, are either simple or straightforward. Have you heard others, or even yourself, say, I should have known better than to; have trusted that individual, have invested all that time/money/effort in that relationship, thought it could work out......"Knowing", when it has to do with relationships, is never enough. This comment box is not the place to "analyze" our very human behaviours but I will highlight two factors that make this such a complex topic. One, all relationships are "attached" to the first ones we had (or didn't have) from the start. One question we can ask ourselves from this point of view, if we find ourselves in a relationship in which we are not happy, is; what am I hoping will turn out different "this time"? And two, all relationships serve a purpose. So in the case of finding ourselves in a bad relationship, it is important to stop and ask ourselves; what am I getting out of this, what message is being reinforced, what am I avoiding by continuing to stay in this relationship? Hard work, but definitely worth the effort. To paraphrase your concluding question, after all, don't we all want to be happy?24/04/2017 #12 Paul "Pablo" CroubalianThis is the big on, "They treat other people poorly: This is a simple rule. If they treat strangers, friends, coworkers, family, or any human being badly, that treatment will come your way sooner or later. Best to push them out of your life sooner." How many divorces start with, "I know he/she was mean to everyone else, but he/she was always nice to me"
Until they aren't24/04/2017 #11 Deb 🐝 HelfrichOur relationships are the most salient feature of our life and this list is a good structure, @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood, for doing some honest assessment.
I think #9 is a quick shortcut to sum up the entire list:
"They treat other people poorly: This is a simple rule. If they treat strangers, friends, coworkers, family, or any human being badly, that treatment will come your way sooner or later. Best to push them out of your life sooner."24/04/2017 #8 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.@Matt 🐝 Sweetwood, just LOVE it. Wow!!!
- Producer03/04/2017Give without expecting anything in returnI have read this great article from Preston 🐝 Vander Ven. I think it is simply brilliant ! Top Ways to Market Yourself on beBee GiveThis is important to do on any social networking site, not just beBee, but it’s particularly important to do...
Comments10/04/2017 #33 AnonymousTo give without expecting anything in return use to be called generosity. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have a lot to give or not. It has nothing to do with a good feeling felt by the one who gives for this fact. It has to do with the feeling that makes to happen in the person who receives. This implies that when giving, the one who gives has to make sure that what is given will be of some use for the receiver. To give a bicycle to a handicapped would be cruel, not generous.
Social media is just an extension of us, a different way to communicate. If we are not generous in "real life", very unlikely we will be it in social media.08/04/2017 #32 Anonymous#30 Why I am here @Javier 🐝 beBee? :) Why we are here?
Helping others help themselves, it is less a paradox and is increasingly becoming the golden rule of social media.
"Social media is primarily used in order to find like-minded people ("instant" engagement and mutual fruitful impact). That is the most important and represents the backbone for an eventual successful cooperation of any kind or only for the purpose of a pure joy and happiness. This can hardly be measured by any mathematical or statistical parameters.
A targeted interaction is a crucial one and also a willingness to understand that we are different. Only then we can help and improve each other." - from "Helping Others Help Themselves, Social Media Paradox", LinkedIn long- form post published on October 8, 201406/04/2017 #30 Javier 🐝 beBeethanks @🐝 Fatima G. Williams @Vivian Chapman, Yes !
"The best way to build deeper business relationships is helping others. The more we give we allow the experience to shape the way we interact with people for the rest of our lives :) " your words are exactly how it works.
beBee is helping you. That is the reason why I personally try to engage with all of our active and positive bees.
Simply help people, be human, engage one another. We want to communicate with one another need proof just take a look around watch a couple use sign language, laugh, have fun. Business is about relationships .If you want someone to comment, share, or like your posts, you need to do this for others first without the expectation of the return.06/04/2017 #29 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#26 @Preston 🐝 Vander Ven I did ( winks )
The best way to build deeper business relationships is helping others. The more we give we allow the experience to shape the way we interact with people for the rest of our lives :) Thank you @Javier 🐝 beBee for this brilliant buzz.04/04/2017 #28 Vivian ChapmanBusiness is so often regarded as something hard and evil, but only fools operate that way. Business can be such a GOOD thing when you operate righteously!
This reminds me of one of my heroes, the late Sir John Laing, who earned millions, but when he died he only left about £350 GBP. He had given it all away. Years before, he had asked God to be the Senior Partner of his firm, and to that end, he wrote down an agreement. Part of that written agreement with God was that he "would help people to enjoy life". And he prospered and his firm became the top construction firm, certainly in Britain, and possibly beyond.03/04/2017 #18 David B. GrinbergKudos to @Preston 🐝 Vander Ven and Javier for the brilliant buzz (which I've shared in the following hives: "Social Marketing Solutions" and "Publishers & Bloggers" and "Marketing and Communications." Here are a few more quotes on "giving" to consider:
"We making a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." -- Winston Churchill
"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of others." -- Charles Dickens
"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving" -- Mother Teresa
"Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return." -- Roy T. Bennett ("The Light in the Heart")
Wishing all bees a wonderful week filled with beautiful buzz!
cc: @John White, MBA
- ProducerAccountability + Forgiveness + Gratitude + Love = Ho'oponopono.Ever heard of this beautiful word 'Ho'oponopono'? Ho'o means cause and pono reflects fairness, balance, humbleness, peace and respect. It is about setting a good intention and being whole. The word pono is repeated to give it more impact. While...
Comments05/03/2017 #51 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#32 thank you @Devesh 🐝 Bhatt, good to read your view.05/03/2017 #50 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#33 @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, well expressed. Thank you so much.05/03/2017 #49 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#34 @Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, you applied it well. Thank you.05/03/2017 #48 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#36 @Donald 🐝 Grandy, yes forgive and let the healing begin, well said!05/03/2017 #47 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#37 @Chas ✌️ Wyatt thank you for adding your comment, interesting to know!05/03/2017 #46 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#38 that is interesting thank you @Gerald Hecht05/03/2017 #45 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#39 thanks so much @Ivette K. Caballero05/03/2017 #44 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#40 my pleasure @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman05/03/2017 #43 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#42 beautiful comments @Pamela 🐝 Williams. Thank you for your courage to share these experiences.05/03/2017 #42 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsSorry, on my phone and my comment posted before I finished😊 This is a philosophy I have thought a lot about in the last year. Those who know me know that I have always forgiven quickly and often to my own detriment. There comes a time when forgiving others, accepting them, becomes just too difficult. So the final result is you must forgive yourself for being unable to forgive and forget harm by others. I dream is a world where all are treated with love and kindness but we have not reached that point in history.05/03/2017 #41 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsAn interesting post @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.03/03/2017 #37 Chas ✌️ Wyatt@Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc., yes, I am quite familiar with the philosophy. "Essentially, it means to make it right with the ancestors, or to make right with the people with whom you have relationships. We believe that the original purpose of Ho'oponopono was to correct the wrongs that had occurred in someone's life including Hala (to miss the thing aimed for, or to err, to disobey) and Hewa (to go overboard or to do something to excess) which were illusions, and even 'Ino (to do harm, implying to do harm to someone with hate in mind), even if accidental."~ Source: www.ancienthuna.com03/03/2017 #36 Donald 🐝 GrandyThank you for this post @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.. Agree with your comment. "When we see others as the cause of our troubles, we become victims". When we focus on forgiveness we receive plenty of health benefits, including improved relationships, decreased anxiety and stress, just to name a few. Letting go of negative emotions can often have a remarkable impact on the body. Let the healing begin - Forgive.03/03/2017 #34 Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeDear @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.
I am Sorry for commenting a little bit late and Please Forgive Me. I thank You for tagging me and I am Showing My Love by sharing this beautiful buzz.03/03/2017 #33 Lisa 🐝 GallagherNice @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.. Forgiveness is much easier than harboring resentment. Resentment takes a toll on the person holding anger, forgiving releases the person from that bondage. I'd much rather forgive.03/03/2017 #32 Devesh 🐝 BhattThis will be very very helpful to many people.
Just two things , please dont blame the subconscious for blaming others. I believe it is a conscious habit. The subconscious has everything, we consciously select the blaming option in authopilot.
If someone assumes the subconscious to be the source , it may be misinterpreted and lead to severe self loathing.
Another thing, in desperation we maybe conditioned to see these things as steps but in reality if we forgive ourselves we automatically love ourselves and if we love ourselves we make a conscious and fruitful effort to firgive ourselves.
Great buzz.Thank you
- Producer02/11/2016Beware the DotShe sounded disturbed. I expected no less. I had always served as an agony uncle to my exes. Many of them have become good friends since breaking up. We usually keep touch via social media - an arms length relationship. But...
Comments03/11/2016 #28 Dean Owen#26 Is it this one? Title spelling is different, but I suspect it is the Tamil version.
https://www.amazon.com/Drushyam-English-Subtitled-Venkatesh-Daggubati/dp/B00TBM8E8I/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1478186171&sr=8-4-fkmr0&keywords=Drishyam+tamil03/11/2016 #27 Dean Owen#22 Well I made the plunge on a tattoo when I decided to make a plunge and come to China. I had to choose a Chinese name for myself, and an expert recommended Happy Dragon, so to show my commitment, I had a dragon sleeping under a cherry blossom tree needled into a shoulder blade. Fortunately I never see it myself so completely forget about it! I think it'll be the same with her. She will forget. It'll still be there, but will gradually "reducted" as an issue to be concerned about. Whether or not these things can impact ones employment or marriage prospects, I assume they can, but unlikely in her case as no name is attached to the picture.03/11/2016 #26 Praveen Raj Gullepalli#24 You got it Dean, but this is the Hindi version. The original was a Tamil version, which was remade into Telugu (what I saw first...cos I saw the Hindi one too). As you are gonna be watching one with Subtitles, go for the Tamil one. Or see whatever you can get your hands on. If you can't get hold of it, just PM me your address and I will courier a DVD to you.03/11/2016 #25 Dean Owen#21 I am petrified of connecting any devices to cloud and no matter how careful you are it seems that Apple devices always find a way to connect to iCloud for certain apps. One of these days AWS, Microsoft Cloud, iCloud or Google cloud will be compromised. It's a Pandora's box waiting to happen.03/11/2016 #24 Dean Owen#20 Sounds like a great plot. If this is the movie you are talking about, I'll hit "Buy" and hope for the best that it gets through Chinese customs.
https://www.amazon.com/Drishyam-Hindi-Devgan-Super-Bollywood/dp/B015FLPI82/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1478184801&sr=8-2&keywords=Drishyam View more#20 Sounds like a great plot. If this is the movie you are talking about, I'll hit "Buy" and hope for the best that it gets through Chinese customs.
I do have a tale about blackmail that you reminded me of... Perhaps a buzz for next week.... Close03/11/2016 #22 Ken BoddieSome on-line photos, Dean, can be like an embarrassing tattoo in an unsavoury part of the anatomy ..... most of the time out of sight and mind, except when the garb slips. I hope your friend K gets over her initial shock at being unknowingly exploited, no matter how indirectly. Good on ya for posting and reminding of the ease with which seemingly harmless poses can be manipulated by others through hidden lenses or surreptitious actions. Flip the coin of intent and I am constantly amazed at how many younger people brazenly post potentially embarrassing or even degrading pictures of themselves on SM, without any apparent thought to the future.03/11/2016 #21 Harvey LloydI find these situations disturbing. The fact that someone would intentionally post a compromising photo or discussion online that was intend to be private. This being said i would submit that more than a few times various apps, software and cloud providers, request during set up, some alignment of your device and online storage or backup.
A simple standard install click at installation could find you posting materials online that you have no idea where its going. I appreciated the comment concerning don't take the picture or write the words very much @Dean Owen
Our private lives and our social lives are two different things. The psychological powers of cognitive dissonance once our private lives are exposed to public lives is quite damaging. You were a good friend to assist her in moving beyond this tumultuous point in her life.03/11/2016 #20 Praveen Raj GullepalliI have a feeling these instances will be increasingly common in the future Dean! The dots are everywhere seen ;) But there may also be new tracking algorithms to trace the uploads etc and find out whodunnit and gauge why and also laws to punish such cybercrime stringently. There was a regional movie in recent times (Drishyam meaning The Picture)...about a young teenage girl vdod in a shower and how her parents intervene before she is blackmailed...and the whole things ends up a powerful drama with a deep social undertone.03/11/2016 #9 Dean Owen#5 Interesting questions for sure. I personally see no reason why exes of any variety can't be friends so long as there is trust in your current relationship. I mean, why waste a relationship you had with someone you loved once. My closest friends are exes, and that includes my previous wife. Thanks for stopping by.02/11/2016 #5 David B. GrinbergInteresting post, @Dean Owen. You're an excellent storyteller and always have good advice. Two questions about exes:
1) Does this also apply to x-wives or just x-girlfriends?
2) What if you're current "significant other" doesn't like you keeping in touch with the exes? How do you recommend responding to both?
Thank again for the good buzz!02/11/2016 #4 Dean Owen#3 Yes, I feel being a teenager in the 80's was the absolute best era to be born, but I guess every generation feels the same way about their teen years. I had a Minox miniature camera back then. Loved it because of the size, but never used it as it was hard to find a shop who could develop the film. These days we are always on camera. In 2014, there were 245 million surveillance cameras in operation.
- Producer27/07/2016Should You Be Friends With Your Boss?Most of us spend at least 40 hours per week at work. It makes sense that we'd want to have friends there.Our friends are not only our break buddies and lunch dates, they're our allies, our colleagues, and collaborators. Work would be a miserable...
Comments27/07/2016 #2 Javier 🐝 beBeeVery interesting buzz @Candice 🐝 Galek. In my humble opinion, we need to keep great relationships with everyone ! I try to do it. Most of us spend more than 40 hours per week at work. It makes sense that we'd want to have friends there - and some of them , very good friends. Our friends are not only our break buddies and lunch dates, they're our allies, our colleagues !!! Business communications do not work if business relationships don't happen. @Teresa Gezze @Chema M. del Hoyo @Catalina Serrano
- 03/05/2016Just a reminder: Even back in 1961 vile, misogynist wannabe Twitter trolls existed. In nice, polite Canada's University of Manitoba. Gods help the woman who criticizes a football team.Firebrand: A profile of Heather Robertson | J-Sourcebit.ly At 19, Heather Robertson wrote an editorial that enflamed the college jocks, sparking a career dedicated to fearless reporting. Regan Reid takes a revealing look at Canada’s feistiest journalist. This story originally appeared in the Winter 2012...
- Producer26/04/2016OffensensitivityI'm offended, you're offended, he's offended, she's offended, wouldn't you like to be offended too!Last week I wrote about someone who offended some of the LinkedInerati with her sexy selfie. A few commenters weighed in on...
Comments20/12/2016 #10 Todd JonesThis post made me think of the Seinfeld episode about "Festivus- Christmas for the rest of us," with the "airing of grievances" and "feats of strength."
Just like Festivus, both micro and macro-aggressions where I work are settled in one of two ways: They are either ignored, or hashed out with a good old fashioned wrestling match.
Depending on the severity of the indignation, wrestling is the preferred option. Not only does it allow participants to release pent up aggression, it is tremendously entertaining for the spectators. There is nothing funnier than watching two 50 year old men roll around in the snow. The matches usually last about 15 seconds, and leave both the transgressor and the perceiver huffing and puffing and wondering if any of it was worth the effort. The world needs more spontaneous wrestling matches and less Twitter.
Although I work in an all male environment fueled by testosterone, I would suggest that women adopt this method of grievance resolution too, strictly in the spirit of equality, of course...27/04/2016 #6 Paul "Pablo" CroubalianLOL, I wasn't born in Canada. We came here when I was 2. We were actually just passing through on our way to Australia and stayed. I never considered us Canucks to be particularly prickly. Not in the sense of, say, a New Yorker. Oh, and @Phil Friedman View moreLOL, I wasn't born in Canada. We came here when I was 2. We were actually just passing through on our way to Australia and stayed. I never considered us Canucks to be particularly prickly. Not in the sense of, say, a New Yorker. Oh, and @Phil Friedman nobody says "aboot" outside of Nova Scotia. ;-0 Close27/04/2016 #5 Phil Friedman#2 @Nicole Chardenet, for the record, and to clarify for my Canadian online cohorts like @Jim Murray, @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian, and @Cory Galbraith -- I spent a good portion of my adult working life in Canada, have a Canadian family, and still consider Canada my spiritual homeland. Which depending on the aftermath of the upcoming U.S. presidential election, may become my actual homeland again. Cheers and best wishes to you and Canucks everywhere..26/04/2016 #4 Nicole Chardenet#3 Thanks, Sarah. We need to remember that sometimes we unintentionally push others' buttons that we don't know about; but we also need to remember that others sometimes do the same to us. If they couldn't know that (How was I supposed to know she had a morbid fear of broccoli?) was it really a microagression?26/04/2016 #3 Sarah ElkinsHere's the key: "One can always politely explain, with a smile, why the comment or gesture was, perhaps, uncalled-for. Educate rather than alienate, n'est-ce pas?" This concept would make things SO much easier, I think. Rather than immediately jump to offense, consider the source, the motivation, the intention behind whatever got your hackles raised! Nice rant, my friend.