- Producer12/01/2017Ecobellaracción_educativarespeto al medio ambientecorazón_ diálogo_pensamientoLa vivencia en Ecobellar, la puesta en marcha de acciones educativas lúdicas, basadas en el respeto a tiempos y estaciones, ha supuesto en mi vida, darme cuenta de como la...
- Producer11/01/2017Celebrate OneNew year. First Month. Eleven Days. Each day arrives as a precious gift. Gratefully following the mysterious river of life. Smoothly. In silence. Delivered easily at our address. Just like that. Each of us blessed with the possibility of a choice. A...
Comments12/01/2017 #1 David B. GrinbergNice buzz, Liesbeth. In my experience being positive and fostering a positive mindset almost always pays off in one way or another. Everyone has a choice whether to think positive or negative. Choose positive. Recommended reading: any of numerous books by Norman Vincent Peale...
I've also shared in three hives, "beBee in Engilsh" and "Lifestyles" and "bee Inspired."
- Producer10/01/2017Reasons It's OK To Burn Some Bridges: Part 2 You’ve heard it said, “May the bridges I burn today light the way for a better tomorrow.” Indeed, burning some bridges is sometimes the only way forward.Our years on this earth are priceless; we must spend the time with an unburdened heart and...
Comments11/01/2017 #8 Tapiwa Matthew Mutisi@Deb 🐝 Helfrich thank you very much for taking your time reading my article. Indeed, our years here on earth are priceless, hence, we should not accommodate things that do not make us grow as individuals #personal growth
I will certainly be writing more articles.
I appreciate the support. Thank you.11/01/2017 #1 Deb 🐝 Helfrich"Our years on this earth are priceless; we must spend the time with an unburdened heart and mind. We must distance ourselves from anything or anyone that obstructs our way forward, or that intentionally causes us pain."
Fabulously well-said, @Tapiwa Matthew Mutisi View more"Our years on this earth are priceless; we must spend the time with an unburdened heart and mind. We must distance ourselves from anything or anyone that obstructs our way forward, or that intentionally causes us pain."
Fabulously well-said, @Tapiwa Matthew Mutisi. Here's to the joy of reading some more of your writing! Close
- Producer11/01/2017You Are The Artist Of Your Own Life. Make It Beautiful.“Nobody else gets to live your life. You are the artist. Paint your picture. Dream your own masterpiece into being."- Anna TaylorYou have one life. You are the artist. Don’t just make life work, you make it a masterpiece. When you are the...
Comments11/01/2017 #5 Michele WilliamsThanks @Jim Cody 🐝. Very moving. I think I found the author.
Poet: William Arthur Ward
Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.
- 11/01/2017Hi Beez! I'm excited to share that my work has been published to FindMyProfession.com!
❇ "3 Essential Ways to Keep a Winning Mindset During a Job Search" ❇
It's a good one, check it out! (Also not a long read)3 Essential Ways To Keep A Winning Mindset During A Job Searchwww.findmyprofession.com Losing and finding new employment is a major life-turning point... keeping a winning mindset during a job search will ultimately make or break your...
- Producer10/01/2017You Are Your Own BrandYou realize that you have been invited for a job interview. You know very well that the other candidates that were also invited best suit to fill in that vacant position, so that’s why they were also shortlisted. You know that you’ve the same...
Comments11/01/2017 #2 Tapiwa Matthew Mutisi@Deb 🐝 Helfrich very well, I am certainly going to put in some very positive work here on beBee. God gave me a gift to write and the Bible says that your gift will make room for you.
I will certainly need your support.
#Personal Branding #Branding #Passion #Gift
- Producer10/01/2017UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ASSUMPTIONS- by Devesh BhattI am under the influence of the idea of influence i.e. ways I am influenced, ways i influence and the ways people influence. Some influence to serve, some to observe, some influence to conserve (their world/self view) and some influence to reserve...
Comments11/01/2017 #21 Devesh Bhatt#20 thanks for the detailed response. I think it has more to do with the chain of events, first get the facts, then decide to collaborate and then factor intent if it suits your method.
Instead people want to save time and judge intent to decide upon collaborations, in the personal sense it's useful, but as a professional it's better to focus only on facts, intent will be taken care of by a well drafted work contract.11/01/2017 #20 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman@Devesh Bhatt - 5 stars for this thought-provoking piece. I am especially impressed with your item #3 under the heading NEVER ASSUME THE FOLLOWING. - 3. Another person's intent, it is a dynamic world. Just use it to understand possibilities and prepare for them. People assume others to be judging their intent, it can complicate responses on both ends and make it political. At best it is a hypothetical input.
I believe this can be a reason why people don't get along. Assuming another's intent is consciously second guessing them, and if the assumption is negative then there is the chance of causing unwanted friction. However, to use it in the best interest of all involved can create a positive force thus avoiding unhappy and angry feelings.
IMO, one must have a clear understanding of the facts before making an assumption and not base their assumption on another's intent.10/01/2017 #15 Ken BoddieFunny how the English language adapts and changes, or rather how we use the English language. These days, "under the influence" has, for many, an association with overindulgence in alcohol or other chemical stimulants which, should I stare at your image for much longer, will be the condition to which my meagre mind will be reduced. 🙄 My choice is to desist.10/01/2017 #13 Praveen Raj GullepalliJust recovering from a bout of Influenza Devesh ;) and that pic just aggravated it by a few more sneezes ;) I shall fortify myself and then come under further influence...eventually! :) But that said, Influence indicates Inference. And that takes it into the subjective realm. And to further touch-points of Relativity. In essence, we all end up deriving some sense out of every influence. But who am I to judge what kind? To each his own behind :)10/01/2017 #11 Devesh Bhatt#10 thank you for correlating the sensible parts with yourself. Recognising ourselves makes a lot of the influences useful. Honestly speaking, I can never imagine you as the road rage kind. Just like I couldn't imagine @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman View more#10 thank you for correlating the sensible parts with yourself. Recognising ourselves makes a lot of the influences useful. Honestly speaking, I can never imagine you as the road rage kind. Just like I couldn't imagine @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman celebrating disco. But life is meant to be colourful. Close10/01/2017 #10 Lisa 🐝 GallagherLife itself can be so confusing. If there is a person who never angers, I want to be a fly on the wall to learn from this person. Recognizing our behaviors is key to growth. I have made many mistakes and will make many more. I can only hope my mistakes become further apart with age and less extreme than some mistakes I've made in my past. I used to get road rage (embarrassed to admit that) but I realized it wasn't healthy or kind, actually dangerous too. I now find ways to pacify myself when feeling a bit of anger on the road and it works. To your point about being influenced by others, yes- whether directly or indirectly we all are even if we aren't aware of it. It's always good to take a step back at times and assess our own values vs. that of someone else's. Just because values may differ doesn't mean a person is bad, right or wrong. I guess respect is another key ingredient. Well thought out buzz @Devesh Bhatt10/01/2017 #8 Sara JacoboviciThank you @Ali Anani for bringing this buzz to my attention. You have produced a very thoughtful and thought provoking buzz @Devesh Bhatt. Dr. Ali is right to point out the concept of choices. It is part of my core belief that, as Viktor Frankl says: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." So for me, in spite of all the dynamics of what it means to be human, everything you have outlined in your buzz, everything that is out of our realm of control, we never lose our freedom, our ability, to choose how we respond.10/01/2017 #3 Devesh Bhatt#1 thanks a lot for the feedback.
Yes assumptions do last only because we reinforce the assumption again and again by selective justification. The points of reference becoming borders of relevance ( I never thought this line would stick with me). Perhaps it is synonymous of thinking inputs and outputs.
Speaking of inputs, I assumed that if I wrote it running hand without pictures, but as self talk, maybe I could induce the same, rather than being treated like a framework for observation. But you are a keen observer and will emerge with magnificence. Make the influence gain fluency. Bebee is becoming much like a roundtable discussion and some operatic threads.
- Producer10/01/2017What makes you feel alive?Since death visited my house two weeks ago, I have been thinking about this question. I think it is the simple things in life that make you feel alive. I believe that we sometimes get caught up in the struggles of life, and the politics of despair,...
Comments10/01/2017 #5 Laura MikolaitisSuch a beautifully written post, @Royce Shook. Thank you for sharing it. What makes me feel alive? So many things really. Little things, moments that I get lost in. Time with my husband and our canine child. Laughter. Pure, uninhibited laughter. Friends and family and silliness. Fresh air; especially on a cold winter's night or first thing in the morning. Anytime, really. The swell of the river as it caresses my soul and heals my heart. An incredibly pigmented blue sky cast against the hills.
Like you, writing is my heart's contentment. It is here that I feel alive and boundaries are removed. It is my catharsis and pure joy. It's my zen.
It's the moments that count...and each one reminds me to be grateful for this day. Thank you for opening your heart to us.
- 10/01/2017Romans 10:9, That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, Thou shalt be saved. Why? John 3:16, for God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. If you don't believe these things, you should be asking yourself; why not?
- Producer08/01/2017Sen. Lindsey Graham standing for what is rightI I am mad as hell over this. I think Trump knows what has happened and so does his party. Allowing Trump to take the Presidential Seat on the 20th is a injustice to the American people. So lets do something about it. We can remove Trump letting...
- Producer07/01/201720 Powerful Affirmations To Reduce AnxietyVideo version with soothing music or if you want to download the affirmations that resonate the most with you, grab them on slideshare. Downloadable Powerpoint Version: HERE -- Aurorasa SimaEmpowermentalist/Coach/Emotional Intelligence Trainer...
- Producer08/01/2017Director of Government Ethics Office is alarmed Trump Cabinet picks haven’t been fully vetted. The announced hearing schedule for several nominees who have not completed the ethics review process is a of great concern to me and should be to you too. Come on: how stupid are you. The Republicans want those picks in office ASAP. They know Trump lies each time he opens his mouth, they know he has picked the riches because they (the Republicans) are rich. They want a dictatorship type of...
Comments08/01/2017 #2 Lyon BraveI don't know who thought hiring Trump as president was a good idea. He is like the least ungenerous rich person in history. If he wanted to help people better the situation he's been having the money on his side. He doesn't care about making America great again. He cares about his own self interest. He wanted to be the president because it makes him an even more powerful business man and war is big business. Now we got a business man as a chief commander.08/01/2017 #1 Elizabeth Shubsda, MBA, RDI hold heartedly agree. I campaigned for Hillary. I still can't believe that such a qualified candidate lost (by Electoral Collage only) to a buffoon. The masses are uneducated and easily fooled. Propaganda of hate and fear one the day. The Nationalist sentiment that has gone global has arrived in the USA. Hitler was a Nationalist. I'm truly concerned about our Constitutional Law being upheld, especially separation of church and state. I pray that things will work out differently then my thoughts lead.
- Producer06/01/201710 Things That Will Change Your Life 1. Put your cellphone down. Unless you are calling someone. We spend too much time on our electronic devices. Make it part of your 2017 goal to spend more time with family and friends. Talking may once again become a vibrant part of your...
Comments10/01/2017 #17 Jared 🐝 WieseGreat thoughts, Jim! Resonates with me so much. We so often get distracted with the corporate ladder, or simply our own busy-ness of life. Taking time to pause, reflect and plan daily is so key - not just once a year!
#3 & #9 remind me of Getting Results the Agile Way by J.D. Meier.
#4 Reminds me of the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.
#5 is like Affirmations to me. Keys I like to remember are :
1) Personal ("I" am doing something. Nobody is doing it for me),
2) Positive (I am "not" poor ==> I have enough and am getting more!) and
3) Present tens (I will be rich ==> I AM abundant in ...).
#6 & #8 are like gratitude - for the good and the bad
... I wrote a post on Six Minute Scribing that works on all of these with 6 daily questions - if you are interested. It helps keeps me focused and grounded.
Hoping it adds to your great post and might help inspire someone, like you said in #3.
(NOTE: If you want to be tagged, move your 🐝 after your first name ;)07/01/2017 #16 Jim Cody 🐝#15 Absolute not, but many choose to be poor... something I'll never understand. To change your life you must first have a positive attitude. Second you must set obtainable goals. Third you must work your a__ off and do whatever it takes. Most of all you must have faith in yourself and mankind. God Bless.07/01/2017 #5 Richard Buse@Jim Cody. Wonderful tips, Jim. Thanks for sharing them. What I try to remember is that while some days are bound to be better than others, no day should be regarded as a throwaway day. Yes, planning and patience are important, but every day presents opportunities to take positive actions and to nurture ourselves. Life is not meant to be lived passively.
- 06/01/20175 questions to ask yourself tonightintentionalemployee.com How do you analyze each day? There are five questions to ask yourself each night to discover whether you are living each day as you...
- Producer05/01/2017PSYCHOLOGY OF WORDS: I'M RUBBER, YOU'RE GLUEWords are tremendously powerful, but it is our choice to give words there power or not. When someone give us a command, we can choose to obey, or disobey. We have been made to feel fear by others threats, shame by remarks about our worthiness and...
Comments09/01/2017 #6 Mohammed A. JawadHere's a good precept: "If a negative thought enters our minds, we need to push out the thought as fast as possible and try to focus on something positive. This is called mindful thinking, or conscious thinking."
Indeed, negative thoughts, when unbridled, destroys the strength of conscience. And that's devastation of human personality. When negative thoughts sprout, in abundance, so strange to sight life becomes and to reason becomes a task. And then, when errors by increase upon life make a heavy burden. O, that's a beguiling burden!05/01/2017 #5 Harvey Lloyd#4 I believe you read between the lines, the exact meaning. But social media is in its youth. 50 years from now it will have run its course. We might be into mind melds through technology or something. Clearly though the communications world is evolving in delivery. Context is what i sense is next to evolve. Platforms such as Bebee and others are merely that platforms. The people on them are currently are setting the context. Many are trying to control the context but i dont believe they are/will be successful.
We can watch politics and its attempt to use, control and use media to their end. It always seems that once content reaches the eyes, and ears of people the context is defined. Not necessarily based on the originators intentions.
This is my journey with social media, context. Content abounds but watching posts, comments and mostly reactions is showing me the true world we live in, over time. It truly is a mixed bag of understandings that makes up this world.
The comedy of it all, when a group, political party or entity senses they have "control" over the context of world opinions/views. From my perspective i sense that we are within a flow of information, controlling our own boat is enough. Trying to control beyond that, is what heart disease is made.
The most interesting group i encounter is the one way group. Life is a one way street and take it or leave it perspective. I have to believe that many leave it within the live group scenario. My favorite group is the explorers, folks who see the broader picture, they just want to get to the next turn and see whats there.05/01/2017 #4 Ali Anani#3 @Harvey Lloyd- great point that you mention "The challenge, within social media we seek a level of acceptance that causes us to define our words or measure our words differently than we would within the live group". No wonder I see many posts on beware of what you say on social media. May be to the extent that we are on our foot trying to avoid what not to say rather than what we intend to say.05/01/2017 #3 Harvey LloydWords have many meanings to many different people in different social groups. That was a mouth full. I would imagine that with the advent of social media we had an unintended consequence. Our "live" social groups, the ones we stand face to face with, cause us to adjust our definitions of words in order to retain/build the relationship.
With social media though our relationships are different, its more conversational rather than personal. Yet we get feedback negative and positive, according to our perceptions, based on how we define words. If your comments or word choice are offensive in my live social group it will guide my commentary in social media..
The challenge, within social media we seek a level of acceptance that causes us to define our words or measure our words differently than we would within the live group. Whether we heed the definitions or not, is not the point but rather the point being we carry different dictionary's around in our head for different forms of communication.
This is an interesting topic of discussion. Maybe we carry internal, general public, personal/friend and social media dictionaries?05/01/2017 #2 Ali AnaniBeautiful contribution this is @Lyon Brave. The rubber and glue example is strikingly beautiful. The observation that "...usually when someone is insulting us- it stems from a place of insecurity" is correct. I agree and really strong people from inside refrain insulting others. Those people find encouraging others an opportunity. It is unfortunate that is life negative actions are much easier than positive ones and they may become spontaneous. Getting angry on others, insulting them or blaming them need to energy to activate them; we need the energy to transform them into positive actions. How a self-defeated person with feelings of insecurity shall transform is an issue that begs for more thinking.
Sharing your beautiful buzz05/01/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 GallagherVery inspiring @Lyon Brave. I agree, we can create our own reality with the exception of certain life's circumstances that affect our psyche, like the loss of a loved one. We still can choose to be nice or mean though. My vision includes having an oceanfront place , ive been visualizing it for years and i dont see it in my near future. ;-)
- Producer04/01/2017Being humble and getting humbledI was talking about the importance of self talk as a recurring theme yesterday. I have a habit of doing that. I often learn by teaching. This means my students often teach by learning. What is it they need to learn?How is it they learn best?When I...
- Producer04/01/2017The Four Agreements: Some Very Nourishing Food For ThoughtI’m not big on personal philosophies outside of my own. Because at the end of the day that’s the only one that matters.But arriving at your own personal philosophy is not always a straight line journey, and it’s certainly not without its share of...
Comments05/01/2017 #12 Chas ✌️ Wyatt@Jim Murray, this is very relevant to me on a very personal level. I was turned on to Don Miguel Ruez's "The Four Agreements" by someone whom I was in love with in my early 20's. We reconnected via the internet shortly before the events of 9/11 and she now makes her home in Manhattan. She also released a CD based on Ruez's "The Four Agreements".
- Producer04/01/2017Build a Successful Personal Brand With beBeeNew technologies have made extraordinary changes in the way we establish relationships, the way we meet people, how we access information and how we learn and teach others. Professionals have come a long way to get up-to-date and companies have all...
Comments05/01/2017 #6 Sarah ElkinsBe professional and personal, make the connections beyond the keyboard by arranging a coffee break, phone or video call. Make sure your personal brand matches up online and offline! Good post, @Javier 🐝 beBee View moreBe professional and personal, make the connections beyond the keyboard by arranging a coffee break, phone or video call. Make sure your personal brand matches up online and offline! Good post, @Javier 🐝 beBee. Close
- Producer04/01/2017CRAB BUCKET SYNDROME, CONFORMITY & JONESTOWNThere is a famous saying about crabs that also represents what often happens in social situations when one person is trying to better themselves in a family or a community. If we put a single crab in a lidless bucket, it can escape easily. When...
Comments05/01/2017 #13 Lyon Brave#12 Are you saying you are one of those people who think we don't have room for refugees in America. I completely disagree with you. Yes, we all die, but that doesn't mean everything needs to be shit until we perish. Messes are meant to be cleaned up. This is a minor example, but if an old lady trips and drops her bags right in front of you, you aren't just going to help her up. Maybe i'm misreading what you are saying, but unfortunately, i believe it is ideologies like yours that is what is wrong with the world, people who likely have the resources and and intelligence to help, but choose to do nothing, but look out for their own interests. Everything is on a wheel. Nothing is guaranteed. A violent type could come kick in your door right now, a hacker could steal everything in your bank account. A hurricane could come wipe out your whole city, you could have a stroke and land in a wheel chair. When you are in need should we dust out hands and say too bad you got screwed.I don't think anyone can save the world, but lots of individuals have certainly made dramatic differences, Bono, Thomas Edison, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, the list goes on and those are just Americans. I've seen kids starve to death, while they are surrounded by food because they don't have money and people are literally more concerned about that one dollar than given them bread. It's ridiculous. Privilege is a word for a reason. Anyone on this site clearly has a certain amount of privilege, wifi, a computer, an education. Great men don't think like you. As rich as Donald Trump is nobody will ever think of him as a great man.05/01/2017 #12 Brian McKenzieI give society the exact same 6 seconds of consideration and attention it passes my way. I want nothing to do with it. I don't care about saving the world - because I can't; and I have no delusions of grandeur to think that anything I do matters 100 years from now; fuck - most of it wont last the attention span of a Goldfish.
so my solution is simply - keep your mess over there, away from me. Bring it my direction - and be prepared to meet armed, trained and tenacious opposition
I like self reliance, self determination and independence. I like nothing from the white halls of think tanks, government bureaucracies or churches.
I am not interested in getting along nor going along with flocks, herds, tribes, villages, or the like. I care nothing for the collective; other than to disrupt and destroy it every chance I get.05/01/2017 #11 Devesh BhattThe collective output is such...that's what I have observed and experienced in my limited scope.
I do understand that evidence based rationality and faith based stimulus co exist within me, I do not have to conflict one for the other, rather faith triggers understanding and understanding triggers faith, action yields better inputs in times of doubt, fear and confusion...I do not talk about truth because I think its a personal realisation.05/01/2017 #9 Devesh Bhatt#8 I need to understand your expressions better.
All that I could comprehend was , theory needs to be tested before its fact.
The tests are continuous until the weakness is discovered and its corrupted, its either exploited by few or many, if its few, there is an attempt to replace it with a system to share the spoils, but the few due to better resources eventually rattle the system to recover some of the small percentages they lose to the rest.
At a snails pace, the majority are clawing through the insignificantly small because it is necessary, then they pull each other down as an assumed necessity.
With technology as the interface we just progress from tactics of oppression to manipulation and have an inhuman alibi without a face, but a collective input... Just like society.
It is convenient to have a faceless intangible construct as the enemy, while its ultimately all about people.05/01/2017 #7 Devesh BhattSociety corrupts and waits for an individual to rise up and solve stuff. That's progress. Then society corrupts and exploits again.
One can suffer with the rest or get ahead. Its a choice. Eventually, whatever you do will be corrupted...that too starts at the level of an individual and is copied around.
Its easier to copy loopholes of corruption, its like scavenging, no harm there.
Problem, if you keep on repeating the rant of bad people, bad society, bad crabs, bad men, bad culture...it slowly gets ingrained in the brain,, an eye for contempt and controversy and you may never enjoy success, this is happening to you subconsciously. The skill to corrupt , which could have been applied to the outer world is not being used because you want to be righteous, but the very skill is turning inwards, it is slyly corrupting your world view,
Corruption is denial of the good as well as the bad.
This is my opinion, you may disagree, I assume, if you can see a problem with better insights than no one else, you could perhaps develop a solution or a way of life that's progressive , better than everyone else.05/01/2017 #5 Brian McKenzieJamestown was a funded and sanctioned Beta test, as all 'Utopias' are a covert mask selling Hope & Change, Happiness & Prosperity, Safety & Security, Liberty & Democracy are. It is taught in the halls that I once roamed as a model of success. And if you are awake, you can see the footprints and game practices that have carried forward. Any promising the shiny city on the hill, the luminous path Forward or the glory of Peace for 1000 years are shills with maniacal motives and have pits waiting for carcasses ~ without fail.04/01/2017 #4 Deb 🐝 HelfrichWow, @Lyon Brave. You know how to arrive on a scene prolifically. And I am truly glad you have arrived. As this is something worth discussing...
"representation of what happens in social institutions that are built on the desire to control, rather than empower, and therefore represents society in a larger picture." I really feel like we need to start valuing nature and sustainable ways of cooperation & collaboration to get us out of this mess of overlaid hierarchical structures that only ever serve to build that crab bucket dynamic.
Luckily, I had an outlet to minimize my brainwashing - books. And being an introvert makes it much easier to avoid getting caught up in constant social demands. But it is all about learning to listen to our heart more than our minds - then we avoid the whole control format and realize there is enough love energy to go around.04/01/2017 #1 Harvey LloydThe childhood narrative is built, its not chromosomal. Some parents don't realize that children are testing the narrative against them and each child is unique in need. You highlight here the simple concept that our children can leave home and build on their narrative or they will spend a lifetime overcoming.
You also introduce another concept that seems to be taboo in discussion. Our freedom of speech and alternative dialogues are part of the issue. Concepts that are presented in ways that touch us through deep emotional/macabre examples leave a lasting impression that forms our narratives. Are these examples of good causes that seek to bend our guilt, or self esteem towards a cause healthy?
Parents are complaining about the heightened need to screen TV, internet and various other inroads to our psyche. But its is permeating through social settings of school and other mandated social centers. I agree with freedom of speech but also understand that not all speech is good.
Good thoughts here.
- Producer03/01/2017Lifestyle & Marriage. Trouble's in the Hen House!May I confide in you? I can hardly breathe at times. Have I forgotten who I am? I am barely able to sneak in a chance to start writing this while my partner makes coffee. I likely won't finish. I'll need to come back to it again and again because of...
Comments04/01/2017 #26 Harvey Lloyd#8 You are correct Marriage is not about happiness. This would short sell the concept. Its about joy, as was promised. The emotions we feel as we become a married couple will expose happiness, sadness and many others. The joy is navigating them in trust and faith. We typically spend more time designing our home, vacation or next major purpose than designing our marriage.
Marriage is not a position but a journey. A journey you will take even if not married. The question is do you want someone to share it with?04/01/2017 #24 Brian McKenzieI am not a fan of marriage - I am not shy I have never done it - nor ever will. Marriage is the Marquis de Sade Circus Fun House that too many enter with rosy glasses on believing in the 'Happily Ever After' Hollywood Propaganda. 70% of divorces are brought to court by women - and from those self surveyed the number one cause of it is not infidelity, abuse, nor money - but boredom. The meme has branded itself under the ever growing and trending moniker - 'Conscious Uncoupling' with their path on how to walk out of a marriage. There is even a growing number of Divorce Coaches in the 'Life Coach" sector04/01/2017 #23 Pamela 🐝 Williams#4 That was going to be my suggestion; a separate room with a door and a lock. A note on the door; "Disturb at your own risk".
To be truthful; can't help you here Emily; I'm single and have been that way a lot longer than I was married. I was married for 6 years, and in that time he worked the graveyard shift as a law enforcement officer and I worked days and went to school so we had about 2 hours a day together and if his mommy dearest called upon him, less that that. When he changed careers and we were on the same schedule...well, like I said we were married just 6 years. :-) So I say; if it's just a bit of frustration; work it out. Deb's 5-lbs of salt upside the head, just might do the trick. LOL!04/01/2017 #22 Don 🐝 Kerr@Emily🐝 Bee Was going to write 'been there, done that, got the t-shirt' then realized it would need to be rewritten as 'am there, doing that, don't give a shit about the t-shirt'. Kate and I work from home. It's small too. And we have two boys 6 & 9. And a new kitten. And somehow we make it work - mostly. It helps that Kate is deeply into mindfulness based stress reduction and that I am old and progressively losing my hearing (at least that what I tell people). Mostly though we know we love each other and we know we make each other totally freakin' nuts and we know that when Kate worked for me out in the real world it was exactly the same except for the love part. That's the thing that saves us. Hang in there.04/01/2017 #16 Devesh Bhatt#14 thanks for taking it on a lighter note @Emily🐝 Bee... You sound a but confused, its not a good state to open doors to a variety of opinions.
Ask yourself - what do you want ? Perhaps write it down with clarity in points.. not an article but points.
Then write all the good in your life? Again points.
See which answer has more material benefits and which has personal elements attached to it.
Now, if your problems are personal, the solution must also be personal - hide & seek was just a way of saying discovery in a fun way ..most of your serious advice is the same.
Personal time is quite easy... Just close your eyes and gather your thoughts --- not meditation in a technical sense..just figure things out.
If you need personal time in doing something...just see that activity and ask yourself , why the intrusion? Maybe he sees excitement in a lot of things and stops halfway from sharing it? Just exemplifying with a positive thought because I think you have already figured out the negatives... Keeping both in mind figure out things.
Rid the confusion before you make the decision. It will certainly help you in life once you figure out your own way of deciding things.
Lawyers will make you write, counsellors and therapists will write what you say.
Why not write in a precise manner for yourself, not an audience but yourself... When the confusions are gone..perhaps then share ...this way you can apply the advice you are given, else confusions will snowball.04/01/2017 #12 Emily🐝 Bee#4 Hey @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, thanks so much for your thoughts on this. Trouble is, I don't have a Job to go to at this time. What's worse, is that I am in the early stages of developing an independent business, where I do my work at home.... So we're both home. All. The. Time.03/01/2017 #10 Todd Jones"Familiarity breeds contempt." (Aesop's Fables)
Never have words more true been written. I can tell you, without hesitation, that what you are feeling is normal, not only in nearly all marriages, but any scenario where two people spend a substantial amount of time together. Given the amount of time that you spend with your husband, I am surprised that you haven't tried to suffocate him with a pillow in his sleep. And vice versa.
You did not mention how long you have been together. My wife and I have been at it for nearly 23 years, and we have finally gotten to a place where we know when the other needs a little space. However, I travel frequently for work, so our condition is not even remotely similar to yours. And we have two cars at our disposal in the event that either feels the need to beat a hasty escape.
I don't have a solution to your particular dilemma, but I will offer another nugget of proverbial wisdom:
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Unless the relationship is emotionally or physically abusive, don't think that the key to happiness will be handed over at the conclusion of divorce court. Try to remember what brought you together in the first place, and use this as a foundation for working the problem.03/01/2017 #9 Deb 🐝 HelfrichDo take Brian with a 5-lb bag of salt, @Emily🐝 Bee. @Harvey Lloyd already said anything I could offer : "Explore, challenge and create something different than what everyone else." Here's an example how about a headphone rule? You put 'em on and you are with a 'client' and cannot be disturbed.03/01/2017 #8 Preston Vander VenRemember, marriage is not about Happiness. It is God's design that two "imperfect" people would become one and complete each other. So every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting toward isolation.
The problem is today's society has brainwashed this oneness to be a desire for personal happiness, a trouble-free life, or a great marriage. Yet, is should be motivated by a desire to enjoy a relationship with God, embrace Him as our Savior, follow Him as our leader, and experience His power in our lives.
Conflict is part of all marriages. This friction helps mold us if used correctly. The goals is not to be conflict free but to handle conflict correctly. For example, healthy conflict resolution occurs when couples are willing to seek and grant forgiveness. "Forgiveness works like oil in relationships." - Josh McDowell
One of the hardest stepping stones is simply Communication. We communicate in various ways. Misunderstanding can develop when we are at opposite ends of styles. We must allow freedom for these differences and trust to adjust to each others styles. For example, I am a "Just-the-Facts" like Spock, while my wife is more of "Share-your-feeling" style. I am always working on listening with acceptance and understanding. I sometimes just take things to literal.
- Producer02/01/2017RULE ONE: THOU SHALL NOT WORRY: Is Anxiety Making You Poor?RULE ONE: THOU SHALL NOT WORRY “I can take it. The tougher it gets, the cooler I get.” Richard M. Nixon A cool person is not always worried, always freaking out, always running around saying, “the sky is falling“. The sky is not...
Comments02/01/2017 #1 Aleta CurryReally liked this article, @Lynn. I must confess, though, that I cannot hear or read the words 'don't worry' without that song coming to mind, and I have long thought it a ding dang shame that as talented as Bobby McFerrin Jr is, he's going to be remembered first and foremost for it!
I certainly agree with you about the power of the mind; we do and become what our brains tell us to.
- Producer01/01/2017New Year's Resolutions? Not Me!Why wouldn't someone who is goal oriented, driven, and wants to help people not have resolutions for the new year? Because I make quantifiable resolutions all year long! Maybe it's just me, but it drives me crazy how people will wait for a new...
Comments03/01/2017 #23 Preston Vander VenGreat Read. I also agree with what you wrote. I feel that having New Year Resolutions give people a greater excuse to quit before they even start.
I recently read on another post that over 80% of everyone with these goals we quit before these next three week are up. On the same article in was a comic. The man was talking to another and it was January 2. He said, "Well, I least I tried. I guess I'll try again next year."
The comic show the mindset of the majority of people and their goals. The already believe they are going to failure, so they quit the moment it gets hard. Instead of getting back up, they put it off til the next year. It becomes a never ending cycle.02/01/2017 #20 Sarah ElkinsNice job, Robin, and thanks to @Alan Culler for tagging me! I completely agree that New Year resolutions are silly. It's like waiting for Valentine's Day to show someone you care. Don't wait. Take the next step as soon as you can. Congratulations on pushing that button!02/01/2017 #9 Ali Anani"I told myself, stop assuming, get going and do it".
I am glad you did @Robin Barton/ Reading your first buzz here on beBee shows you quality as an outstanding writer. Thanks to @Alan Culler for tagging me to read your buzz and welcome you here as a distinguished writer.02/01/2017 #7 Alan CullerExcellent first post, Robin
I'm sure @Sarah Elkins and Ali Anani will love this
I first started posting on LinkedIn when a client, colleague, friend, passed away unexpectedly. I haven't looked back.
As you so admirably describe: goals are goals; actions on goals lead you there and so many other places as well.
I'm pleased to make your acquaintance and look forward to so many more opportunities to share thoughts.