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Buzzes
  1. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    17/08/2017
    Inside The Mind of General Kelly
    Inside The Mind of General KellyUsing a new innovative technology, The Lint Screen has developed a device with the ability to read the minds of mortals.We hacked the skull of General Kelly, the newly-appointed White House Chief of Staff, as he listened to President Trump’s...
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  2. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    26/07/2017
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding Campaign
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding CampaignYesterday, the beleaguered Democratic Party unveiled a new rallying cry, and The Lint Screenmet with members of Hiley, Musgrove & Binburner, the famed Washington D.C. political marketing group, to discuss the making of the new branding...
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    Sean O'Hare
    26/07/2017 #1 Sean O'Hare
    Hilarious, because that slogan was probably thought up by a teenager on a break from listening to Justin Beiber or even Kim K., and her parents think she's a genius.
  3. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    14/07/2017
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump Sues
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump SuesTweetstorm to follow.##########################################Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop...
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  4. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/07/2017
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin Meeting
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin MeetingIn an exclusive, The Lint Screen has acquired the list of possible conversation starters President Donald J. Trump will be using for his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit.1.  I won the election in a landslide. Huge...
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  5. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    01/07/2017
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!If a picture is worth a thousand words, a meme with three letters may be worth a gazillion!In a historic first, a meme has completely changed the world political view of a man in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. It happened on a popular social media...
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    Patrick Scullin
    02/07/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Good for you, Brian. Rest assured, your health is the #1 concern of this administration! Be well, thanks for reading​ and contributing.
    Brian McKenzie
    02/07/2017 #1 Brian McKenzie
    Hmmm, i might borrow that cat. I did get a letter from the White House about my healthcare proposal, but without a scheduled meeting, I consider it on par with a letter from Publisher's Clearing House claiming that I might already be a winner.
  6. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    20/06/2017
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement Announced
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement AnnouncedJules is known for his uncanny ability to communicate without words.Washington is abuzz with the announcement White House press secretary Sean Spicer will be stepping aside and mime “Jules” will be replacing him.“Sean did a great job,” White House...
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  7. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    08/06/2017
    Comey’s First Draft of Written Testimony Reveals Literary Talent
    Comey’s First Draft of Written Testimony Reveals Literary TalentIn a blockbuster exclusive, The Lint Screen has obtained some notes from the first draft of former FBI Director James Comey’s written testimony. It follows“It was a dark and stormy night. Dark as ink in a windowless closet, wet as a drunk...
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    Patrick Scullin
    09/06/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Thanks, Jim. I've revised it and think it's better. No plans on moving to Canada... yet!
    Jim Murray
    08/06/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    You're a real card Patrick. When are you moving to Canada?
  8. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    24/05/2017
    Bill Forces First Lady To Hold Prez’s Hand
    Bill Forces First Lady To Hold Prez’s HandRep. Emmett Russell III of Alabama has proposed a Congressional bill that would force the First Lady to hold hands with her husband.H.R. 321, “The Palm-to-Palm Act”, would make it a federal law that America’s First Lady must hold the hand of the...
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    Patrick Scullin
    28/05/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Great points, @Nicole Chardenet. Thanks for reading and contributing.
    Nicole Chardenet
    24/05/2017 #1 Nicole Chardenet
    I'm afraid this law would likely be ruled unconstitutional and a violation of the Geneva Convention. At least when the President is a Human Cheeto with the personality of a narcissistic donkey!
  9. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    16/05/2017
    “Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With Russians
    “Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With RussiansPresident Trump is a gracious host — he invented a new parlor game when he hosted Russian bigwigs last week.White House officials confirmed with The Lint Screen the president asked Russian foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov, and the U.S. Russian...
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  10. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    13/05/2017
    New FBI Director Candidate “Looks Perfect”
    New FBI Director Candidate “Looks Perfect”Now that President Trump has taken out the trash by canning FBI Director James Comey, Washington is abuzz with rumors of his replacement. Sources close to the prez have told The Lint Screen the short list is down to two candidates, and the leader is...
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  11. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    13/04/2017
    Trump Inauguration Crowd Declared “Largest In History”
    Trump Inauguration Crowd Declared “Largest In History”January 20, 2017, will go down in history as the date Donald J. Trump was sworn in as the 45th President of the United States of America, and also “the day more proud Americans assembled to witness a tremendous moment and new chapter in the glorious...
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    Jim Murray
    13/04/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    Very funny. Very sad. I laughed. I cried. It tossed my cookies and then hired an illegal immigrant to clean it up.
  12. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    24/03/2017
    GOP Proposes New & Improved Healthcare Bill
    GOP Proposes New & Improved Healthcare BillAs Republican members of Congress scramble to try and save their health care bill called the American Health Care Act, it looks dead on arrival.But, it’s not over yet, The Lint Screen has learned.After conferring behind closed doors, Speaker of The...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    29/03/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    We are golden! Thanks for the update and stay healthy!!! #1
    Todd Jones
    29/03/2017 #1 Todd Jones
    Excellent, Patrick! Dr. Bornstein later that day proclaimed all Americans to be in terrific health, thereupon bringing the healthcare crisis to what Donald calls a winning conclusion.

    In a related story, all of the money set aside for the “The Tremendous Healthcare Plan For All Americans Act” can now be redirected to building a really long wall since those cheapskate Mexicans aren't going to chip in.
  13. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    22/03/2017
    Grilling Judge Neil Gorsuch
    Grilling Judge Neil GorsuchThe editorial board of The Lint Screen has compiled a list of probing questions for Supreme Court Justice nominee Judge Neil Gorsuch and submitted it to the grand inquisitors in Washington.Let’s see if the puppet politicians have enough backbone to...
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  14. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    13/03/2017
    Dead Demand Their Voting Rights
    Dead Demand Their Voting RightsThe dead are not lying down on their rights as Americans!After the 2016 election fraud, politicians are vowing to clamp down on voter fraud that they say cheated President Trump out of millions of votes. One of the key claims is that dead people are...
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  15. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    17/02/2017
    White House-Approved Media Questions
    White House-Approved Media QuestionsFollowing President Donald J. Trump spanking of fake news yesterday, the White House has drafted a list of approved questions for the media to ask in press conferences.“We had to do this,” Jeremy Bostwich, White House senior advisor told The Lint...
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  16. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    04/02/2017
    Douglass Falls In Bowling Green Massacre
    Douglass Falls In Bowling Green MassacreIn a tragic turn of events, Frederick Douglass, who President Trump recently recognized for his “amazing work” died as a result of The Bowling Green Massacre.Douglass was 198-years-old.“It’s a horrible end to an incredible life,” Prof. William...
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  17. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    02/02/2017
    Punxsutawney Phil Sentenced To Death
    Punxsutawney Phil Sentenced To DeathThere’s a critter who is hating the sun today.Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog who has his own holiday and movie, saw his shadow this morning when he exited his burrow in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Tradition says that his shadow sighting...
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  18. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    15/12/2016
    Russians Open Consumer Tech Services Company
    Russians Open Consumer Tech Services CompanyCapitalizing on its success in hacking political email accounts, a new Russian enterprise has been launched in the United States.Called Geekski Squad, the tech services company will be affiliated with Best Buy stores.“Are proud to be in U.S.,”...
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  19. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/12/2016
    World Leaders Strengthen Twitter Capabilities In Prep For Prez Trump
    World Leaders Strengthen Twitter Capabilities In Prep For Prez TrumpPrepare the safe room and stock the bomb shelter, come January 20, you may need to take cover!With the election of Donald J. Trump as President, the United States faces dangers never before imagined. “It’s going to be a different world,” confessed a...
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  20. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    15/11/2016
    ‘The Situation’ Pondering Political Career
    ‘The Situation’ Pondering Political CareerLook out Donald, there’s a creature coming from the sea who may take you down!After witnessing the incredible success Donald J. Trump has had in politics, Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame is thinking he may campaign to be the...
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