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political satire - beBee

political satire

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  1. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    15/12/2017
    Moore Blames Loss on God And Others
    Moore Blames Loss on God And OthersJudge Roy Moore lost his bid to be an Alabama Senator, but he thinks there’s plenty of blame to go around. The angry loser called The Lint Screen and gave us some exclusive quotes:“By all rights, I should have won. The Big Guy blew it. I put all my...
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  2. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    06/12/2017
    Moore Rebuts Allegations; Offers Defense
    Moore Rebuts Allegations; Offers DefenseRoy Moore is not going to allow “a gaggle of lying ladies” upset his bid to become an Alabama Senator. He spoke to The Lint Screen earlier today.“It all a bunch of poppycock,” Moore said, responding to the many allegations of his pursuing underage...
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  3. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    29/11/2017
    The GOP Tax Plan Explained To Simpletons
    The GOP Tax Plan Explained To SimpletonsThe editorial staff of The Lint Screen is not schooled in complex subjects like economics, so we approached Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Representatives, for an explanation of the new GOP Tax Plan.“It’s quite simple,” Speaker Ryan said. “Our...
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    Comments

    Cyndi wilkins
    29/11/2017 #3 Cyndi wilkins
    #1 #2 Oh man does the truth hurt...not even KY jelly can ease the pain of that;-)
    Phil Friedman
    29/11/2017 #2 Phil Friedman
    Translation: If your income is less than half a million dollars per year, grab the KY Jelly, drop your pants, bend over, and grab your ankles.
    Jim Murray
    29/11/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    Any asshole who is not in or dependent on the 1% of wealthiest Americans and has even a thimbleful of economic knowledge knows that this trickle down bullshit doesn't and never has worked. These same people know that the encouragement of innovation and small business development is where the vast majority of job growth lies. Big companies will take these tax breaks and invest in automation, to kill more jobs. Why, because they don't give a shit about people. And never have. Anyone who has a different point of view on this, I would strongly argue, is bought and paid for by something big.
  4. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    21/11/2017
    NRA Excited about Active Thanksgiving Weekend
    NRA Excited about Active Thanksgiving WeekendOur forefathers knew their stuff when they gave citizens “the right to bear arms”, especially during Thanksgiving season.The NRA has launched a new ad campaign with the theme, “Shut that snowflake up!”In the TV spot, the scene opens on a traditional...
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    Comments

    Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess
    23/11/2017 #1 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess
    And these days, @Patrick Sculin, it's hard to distinguish satire from reality -- harder than I can ever remember. I gotta tell you, I'll be glad to see Trump's backside one more time, the day he leaves Washington, D.C., for one of his golf courses. Permanently.
  5. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    10/11/2017
    GOP Re-Branding Tax Cut Bill
    GOP Re-Branding Tax Cut BillRepublicans need a win in Washington, and they are hoping their new tax-cutting legislation is the Hail Mary for victory.Unfortunately, like their various health care bills, it is not popular with voters. Only 36% of voters approve of giving tax...
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    Comments

    Jim Murray
    10/11/2017 #2 Jim Murray
    LOL. That's all, the rest of my energy will be spent holding back the tears.
    Phil Friedman
    10/11/2017 #1 Phil Friedman
    The rallying cry of the IWW (Industrial Workers of the World, founded 1905 and nicknamed the "Wobblies") was "Make the rich pay!" The Republican party seems to have turned that slogan on its ear and morphed it into "Make the poor and the middle class (who will soon be poor) pay... for everything."
  6. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/11/2017
    Law Proposed To Eliminate “Evil”
    Law Proposed To Eliminate “Evil”Lamar Dewackle, a Republican Representative from Texas, has had enough of mass shootings in America, and he’s going to do something about it!Dewackle is proposing a law that would “address a major problem with innovative thinking.” He spoke to The...
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  7. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    29/10/2017
    Trump Reveals Solution To Opioid Crisis
    Trump Reveals Solution To Opioid CrisisPresident Donald J. Trump recently declared the opioid epidemic a “health emergency.” While this move won’t earmark federal funds for opioid addiction treatments or negotiating lower prices for Naloxone, an opioid overdose drug, he proposed a bigger...
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  8. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    11/10/2017
    The Situation To Be Trump's New Sec. of State
    The Situation To Be Trump's New Sec. of StateLeave it to this White House to keep things interesting!In an exclusive scoop, The Lint Screen has learned Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will soon be named the new Secretary of State, replacing Rex Tillerson.A sneaky, loose-lipped White House...
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  9. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    04/10/2017
    NRA Supports Citizen Rights To Bear Nuclear Arms
    NRA Supports Citizen Rights To Bear Nuclear ArmsIn the aftermath of the Las Vegas tragedy, the National Rifle Association is proposing a solution — more arms, and more firepower!Yesterday, Wayne LaPierre, Jr., Exec. V.P. of the NRA addressed a national convention of members and said the recent...
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  10. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    03/10/2017
    The Skipper Breaks Gilligan's Heart
    The Skipper Breaks Gilligan's HeartA three-hour cruise resulted in a never-ending hell for Gilligan, The Skipper, too, the millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann.The fateful trip started at a tropic port on April 17, 1967, aboard a tiny ship.The mate was a...
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  11. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    30/09/2017
    Trump Takes Credit For Presidents Cup Lead
    Trump Takes Credit For Presidents Cup LeadAt the end of a typical day, the offices of The Lint Screen are littered with empty bourbon, rye, and gin bottles, overflowing ashtrays, and crumpled fedoras planted with cards reading PRESS.In this setting, the calm after covering another...
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  12. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    27/09/2017
    Price Demanded “Special Treatment” At Taxpayer Expense
    Price Demanded “Special Treatment” At Taxpayer ExpenseUnited States Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price recently came under attack for taking 26 private jet trips costing over $300,000 at the expense of U.S. taxpayers, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.On these same flights, Price...
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  13. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    12/09/2017
    Apple Goes Retro With iPhone 8
    Apple Goes Retro With iPhone 8The Lint Screen has obtained an actual prototype of the long-anticipated Apple iPhone 8, and it is surprising.The new phone model reflects a decidedly retro look and feel. “Tim Cook felt the iPhone design was getting stale,” said an anonymous Apple...
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  14. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/09/2017
    Exclusive Hillary Book Excerpts
    Exclusive Hillary Book ExcerptsThe Lint Screen has obtained an advance copy of Hillary Clinton’s upcoming book, “What Happened” and proudly presents some choice excerpts.“Woke up in Burlington, Vermont. We had breakfast at Ed’s Diner. The media coverage was minimal — a high...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    03/10/2017 #7 Patrick Scullin
    so true @Phil Friedman. Now we have a con man with no leadership skills looking to raid the bank. Of course, GOP asskissers play him up out of fear. We're screwed. Jim Murray, please keep a light on for us!
    Patrick Scullin
    03/10/2017 #6 Patrick Scullin
    @Jim Murray, Hillary just can't run a successful campaign, and now we're all paying the price. As the orange ass would say, "Sad."
    Paul Walters
    08/09/2017 #5 Paul Walters
    @Patrick Scullin excellent piece thank you
    Brian McKenzie
    08/09/2017 #4 Brian McKenzie
    Stuffed Pantsuit.
    Phil Friedman
    08/09/2017 #3 Phil Friedman
    She blew the election, Jim, because, like most politicians, she listened to and believed the talking heads. Her campaign managers also failed badly when it came to building a strategy around the realities of the Electoral College. However, Hillary did not give us Trump. The rock heads who could not understand that a vote for anyone other than Hillary, and even no vote at all, became de facto a vote for Trump. No, Hillary didn't give us Trump. We in the U.S. gave us Trump. And we may not even live to regret it properly.
    Jim Murray
    07/09/2017 #2 Jim Murray
    Just from reading what you posted I can see how she blew the election. People in America (except for ad guys) want to be promised the moon and the stars. Being realistic has never been the long suit of politicians anywhere. She blew it and she should have known better because she blew it once before and didn't seem to learn from her mistakes. BTW are you guys expected to catch any of this Irma weather?
    Dominique 🐝 Petersen
    07/09/2017 #1 Dominique 🐝 Petersen
    I'm speechless.
  15. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    31/08/2017
    Enforcer Brought Into White House
    Enforcer Brought Into White HouseThe only constant in the Trump White House is constant change.Recently appointed chief of staff Gen. John Kelley announced today he has a new member on his team, Sister Ellen Marie Grace, a retired 86-year-old Catholic nun from St. Mark’s parish in...
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  16. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    29/08/2017
    Giggles Named Sec. Of Fun!
    Giggles Named Sec. Of Fun!No one can accuse Donald J. Trump of not being a great leader. The president announced today that he is appointing a new cabinet member in a newly created government position — Secretary of Fun!White House spokesman Cleve Norburton told The Lint...
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  17. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    24/08/2017
    Trump Declared “Sanest Human Ever”
    Trump Declared “Sanest Human Ever”As the hub-bub continues over the erratic behavior exhibited during the Trump presidency, some have called into question the mental fitness of the Commander-in-Chief.“Anyone who says that is crazy,” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    28/08/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris–– haven't read The Onion for months, did they do something similar?
    Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
    24/08/2017 #1 Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
    Hey, you need to make the necessary attributions before taking articles from The Onion! :-)
  18. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    23/08/2017
    Trump Slams The Lint Screen
    Trump Slams The Lint ScreenLast night, at his pep rally in Phoenix, President Trump told supporters, “Don’t believe the fake media. Everything they say is a lie. Everything! I know. It’s all fake, especially The Lint Screen.”Trump’s complexion changed from orange to red as he...
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  19. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    22/08/2017
    McMaster Proposes Nuclear Strike
    McMaster Proposes Nuclear StrikeNational Security Advisor H.R. McMaster has proposed a nuclear strike target to President Trump, a White House insider told The Lint Screen today.The anonymous source said the target is the corporate offices of Breitbart News Network in Los...
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  20. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    17/08/2017
    Inside The Mind of General Kelly
    Inside The Mind of General KellyUsing a new innovative technology, The Lint Screen has developed a device with the ability to read the minds of mortals.We hacked the skull of General Kelly, the newly-appointed White House Chief of Staff, as he listened to President Trump’s...
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    Comments

    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #7 Kevin Douglas Berg
    #6 The hell it does. UN needs our money, we freaking make the UN, the UN needs to be dissolved because of it so #PLOUN and anti-Semitic. The UN is our money it should be called the USN UN because no one even puts in half of what we do. Screw the UN and regulations and those that go against our Constitution.
    Lyon Brave
    17/08/2017 #6 Lyon Brave
    #5 of course america needs the United Nations and to be regulated.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #5 Kevin Douglas Berg
    No he sold the Country on what he is doing and what he is doing is FUCKING AWESOME =) So sick of trump supporters, you are a Canadian, go with the future of Montrealstan, Ontariostan, Quebecostan. Americans are sick of those that criticize those that are sad that they did not get the American Leader, Minus Benghazi, Seth Rich, Rapist She Got Off, so sorry, HEll NO, TRUMP DOES HAVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLES TRUST, I saw him Speak, it is the ObamaAide You keep drinking from the 'Thrill Up His Legs.' His approval numbers are fine, just get your burqas out and get ready for SHARIA while you watch a real lead do what real leaders do - KICK ASS and ANSWER TO Not the UN or any other Nation. Why, because we are becoming back to Superpower status and if it calls for war in some parts of the world, so be it, when you are armed IRAN and prior to that BJ Clinton with N. Korea so he can get down with Monica, that shit comes back to haunt you. I sleep better at night knowing that he is not liked by the world, I don't want to be like in the world, I want to be a Superpower Again. I don't want a leader that goes off and golfs after someone gets beheaded and stand down when I know we are being attacked and not have a leader that her right handed girl is tied to HAMAS as she wrote to her brother about Hillary Clinton. Wake up and turn off the idiot box, America does not need nor give two shits about the UN and other countries telling us what is right and what is wrong.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #4 Kevin Douglas Berg
    #2 #2 Jim, you say you have no horse in this fight, but you are definitely favoring what we had before. I don't believe I back the wrong horse, I feel that both parties created the mess, and most of the people that voted for him felt the same. No, he is not the wrong horse, actually, he is the right horse, excuse the pun. =P I can see from Canada that you elected your own Obama and also I can see that Montreal looks like England, Sweden, etc and the rest. No, he is not the dark horse, he is a true leader, and I SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT knowing he is backing the USA with as much Bravado, Business Sense and his Kick Ass SOB not Political Bullshit that Hillary and the ClintonMassageLaunderingParlor that we almost had to deal with. I am proud that supports our defense and is going to make us Stronger and does not bow before any 3rd World TIn Pot Dictator and does not invite the BLM, CAIR, and HAMAS in the WhiteHouse. Canada, have fun with the Liberal Crybabies that are trying to become Canadian Citizens because they fear a Strong America. Oh, by the way, he is going to get in #2020. All this bullshit is just hammering his cause and strengthing my resolve that he was sent by g-d himself to correct us from what was SHARI Law Becoming In Power and Obama yikes as a Supreme Court Justice Impostor.
    Jim Murray
    17/08/2017 #3 Jim Murray
    #1 Nice try dude, and I agree the bullshit has to stop. What Trump supporters neglect to acknowledge, in all their reluctance to just admit they backed the wrong horse, is that he is not trying to do his best because he has a disease called chronic narcissism, which means he can only do what's best for himself. This in turn means, he is incapable of actually caring for the people he was elected to serve. I am so sick of Trump supporters posting comments just like yours. All it means it that your myopia on this subject is severe. I have no dog at all in this fight, because I am Canadian. What I see from the outside is complete insanity, total incompetence, egomania off the charts, chronic self-aggrandizement, and the slow but sure erosion of support in both houses of your government. This situation will get worse before it gets better, because while a relatively small minority support him, the vast majority now think he's out to lunch. And frankly if you, as a president, don't have the support of the people in America you have nothing. Yeah, he sold the country on change. But he's a hustler and you all got hustled.
    Jim Murray
    17/08/2017 #2 Jim Murray
    That's about right.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #1 Kevin Douglas Berg
    Why can't we just Trump have a chance and stop making fun of everything that he has trying to do. Seriously the press before was in the hot tub with the past Administration. Trump took their bullshit by the throat and gave it back 10 fold and they are not acting whiny little-spoiled kids that did not get their way. Just give it a rest already. No I did not read the article, and yes I am for Trump, and no I was not for Obama, but I was for Clinton and Against Bush. No, I am not a racist, homophobe, misogynist and the past Administration was really meant on dividing, weakening, and socializing anything and everything. So now, this is what happens when you have a real Parent, Patriot, and someone that wants the USA to Succeed. No, he is not perfect, no he is not a Politician and no he does not play the game, but he is doing the best he can. Fyi I am Jewish, Blue Collar Background, Strong Democratic Ties to Union and Screw Big Corps Brought Up. College Educated and was born to thank those that serve and had no problem saying the Pledge of Allegiance as well as saying Amen whenever I heard the lords Prayer given by anyone. This bullshit has to stop here and now.
  21. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    26/07/2017
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding Campaign
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding CampaignYesterday, the beleaguered Democratic Party unveiled a new rallying cry, and The Lint Screenmet with members of Hiley, Musgrove & Binburner, the famed Washington D.C. political marketing group, to discuss the making of the new branding...
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    Comments

    Sean O'Hare
    26/07/2017 #1 Sean O'Hare
    Hilarious, because that slogan was probably thought up by a teenager on a break from listening to Justin Beiber or even Kim K., and her parents think she's a genius.
  22. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    14/07/2017
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump Sues
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump SuesTweetstorm to follow.##########################################Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop...
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  23. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/07/2017
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin Meeting
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin MeetingIn an exclusive, The Lint Screen has acquired the list of possible conversation starters President Donald J. Trump will be using for his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit.1.  I won the election in a landslide. Huge...
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  24. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    01/07/2017
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!If a picture is worth a thousand words, a meme with three letters may be worth a gazillion!In a historic first, a meme has completely changed the world political view of a man in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. It happened on a popular social media...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    02/07/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Good for you, Brian. Rest assured, your health is the #1 concern of this administration! Be well, thanks for reading​ and contributing.
    Brian McKenzie
    02/07/2017 #1 Brian McKenzie
    Hmmm, i might borrow that cat. I did get a letter from the White House about my healthcare proposal, but without a scheduled meeting, I consider it on par with a letter from Publisher's Clearing House claiming that I might already be a winner.
  25. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    20/06/2017
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement Announced
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement AnnouncedJules is known for his uncanny ability to communicate without words.Washington is abuzz with the announcement White House press secretary Sean Spicer will be stepping aside and mime “Jules” will be replacing him.“Sean did a great job,” White House...
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