- Producer22/08/2016How Male Bonding Builds Better BusinessPublished on The Good Men Project 8/20/16One meeting I had last week had a surprisingly different flow.My company is called beBee.com. It is an 18-month old professional social network (think LinkedIn on steroids), and is looking for more investors...
Comments28/10/2016 #30 Robert CormackI've seen this work in a similar environment, Matt. It's called a bar, and we don't care a smidge about race, creed, color or political affiliations. We share our lives, our concerns, our hopes and fears, all of which has a freeing effect, consummated by each arguing over who should pick up the bill. Just kidding. It's been so long since I've been in a bar, but I'd like to think we built the path for bonding in the boardroom. Men do get it, even if women think we're trogs.24/08/2016 #26 Vincent Andrew"From now on, when I hold business meetings (even if there are only men in the room), I am going to insist we begin by sharing something personal or interesting about ourselves. It really does build better business – and I will admit it, it feels good." Interesting idea. Worth a try to see what the effects may be. Thanks for sharing this @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood.23/08/2016 #23 Jim MurrayInteresting insight. @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood. In my advertising agency career I was in a lot of meeting like the one you described (a while ago now) and things never went like that. You tended to find out of about what people were like by their interests, sports, boating, shooting, golf etc. People seldom got personal and in hindsight, I think a lot of those meeting might have gone better, or at least more comfortably, if they had been like the one you just described. It's funny though because whenever I met with a creative director in a job interview situation, the conversation was almost 100% personal. Guess creative people are just nosier.23/08/2016 #21 Mamen 🐝 DelgadoLove that gentleman from the investment firm!! He is a beBee Bee, and probably by now he already knows it... ;) Great experience @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood, thanks so much for sharing it, so you are not the only one who has learned how to hold your next business meeting. Wish you the best!!! And kudos to you about your family story. All my love!23/08/2016 #19 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#13 After reading through the comments, yours is exactly where I started, too, @Mark Tillman Davis. You bring up excellent points that apply to a huge population of men, deserving of validation of course! I'm not a man, but I've been the only woman in a Conference Room full of male doctors thousands of times....and some of my best friends have always been men. Back in the day, I totally 'get' that a "man was a man" concept. But...today, the child isn't there just to be seen and not heard...parenting is not "Just do what I said." "BeCauSe I SaiD sO!" kinda thing. I'm raising my third generation of kids (no grandkids, humph!) so I've had my finger on the pulse. I think men should be men, and be the head of the family ~ testosterone wins out! Without going too extreme on what is presented, I'm thinking it may be better to look at this interaction more as 'mentoring' or 'parenting.' Because @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood is a single Dad. I baked my Dad Mother's Day cakes, to honor him as both a mother and father. So perhaps @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood, you are using that skill set here, not the 'crying mascara' 'drama' or talk of 'minutia' or gossip or blabber. Useful stuff. I'm thinking that is the angle. Matt? Being a single Dad has to matter.23/08/2016 #18 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDI was a bit hindered at a discussion of male bonding instinctually (after working with primarily surgeons for eons and ions)...but here is my take, which took a full-on turn: you nurture your children (honors for being a single parent~so was my Dad); the first man nurtured you; then everyone nurtured one another & that's what women do, by nature. So I'm thinking that women:emotion is really women:nurture. And are we parenting/mentoring/teaching leaders to be leaders during these business meetings? I'd say, "Yes." So I'm Sharing to 'Parenting Hives." And look what you've done! Taught men about meetings and also about parenting and having families! You did it. You do it. Congrats!22/08/2016 #15 Lisa 🐝 GallagherExcellent article @Matt 🐝 Sweetwood. Thanks for tagging me. You wrote, "Everyone took turns sharing about themselves. The whole dynamic in the room changed. It was one of those moments you will remember long after the business part is forgotten." Helps to break the ice and really get to know others on another level.22/08/2016 #13 Mark Tillman DavisI have spent my entire adult life associated with men of "traditional" masculinity. These men would view the author's concept of "enlightened masculinity" as what we refer to as the feminization of men. We "Neanderthals" don't spend much time talking to each other about our feelings or sharing. We talk smack. We cuss. We use the "f" word like a comma. We don't give a thought to each others race or ethinicity or cultural background. It doesn't matter. What we have shared are difficult times in harsh environments. Life and death stuff. I would trust these men with my life, my wallet and my family.
My father and grandfathers weren't big "sharers" either. They taught me my role as a man. Do the right thing in the right way for the reasons because that's what men do...and when you don't, be prepared for consequences. I idolize them and the men of their generations. Bonding between men happens as result of genuine experiences; not from an announcement that "at this point in the meeting, we're gonna' share."
- Producer20/07/2016Imagination is my brother"I'm not writing non-fiction. I don't feel anything about me as a kid was unique. Except that I had more interest in being alone and using my imagination."John IrvingDo you have a brother?There is a special bond with brothers. It is a spiritual...
Comments25/07/2016 #31 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD#2 That is exactly the same glaring message I also get from this beautiful vision of a writing. Awesome piece, @Don 🐝 Kerr. You are already a writer. All it takes to be a writer is 'to write.' So I suppose that all it takes for a bee to write is to write a 🐝Buzz🐝 on the beautiful things in life!20/07/2016 #21 Kevin Pashuk@Don 🐝 Kerr... you are certainly waxing the elephant these days (waxing eloquent for those who don't get my sense of humour).
Like you, I grew up with and older sister, and no brother. You describe the dynamic well. Like you, my imagination was a friend. It has certainly been a great muse for you.20/07/2016 #17 Franci🐝Eugenia HoffmanThis is a beautiful piece, @Don 🐝 Kerr. I was an only child and I had a few imaginary friends, however, I always wanted a brother or sister. I surrounded myself with friends, which when we younger, we adopted each other as brothers and sisters. Not the same as the real thing but we never felt alone.
- Producer22/06/2016Is That the Job You Want? It is amazing the diversity of jobs we have had and will perform. Some of us strive for that position always. Others wind up there by happenstance. For some, it is because they don’t have alternatives.Even as a high school kid, I took some jobs...
Comments24/07/2016 #11 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDJam packed with employee stories from many angles, and what really strikes me is the honor you still have for your beloved father. He had core values, I suspect he was a man of God, and he followed the Code of Honor. I never waitressed, but my first formal job (aside from picking garlic in Gilroy, California with the migrant farm workers) was at McDonalds. Much like a university education, I learned principles that I later applied to the Los Angeles County Jail Ward for the 'fresh' arrested and 'scraped off the streets." You have all the key points here. The only other point I would like to gently add is that one needs to pick up the 'culture' of the environment. If the patients in the Jail Ward could hold me hostage and cause a full-blown 'lockdown' of that 15 cm steel door, hey, I need to shoe them who is boss. At first, I thought the LAPD were rather brutal at clobbering a convict to the floor, but I quickly learned that the same person I was feeling empathy for knew he was HIV Positive and was on PCP (elephant tranquilizer) and wanted to bite off our hands. So your story on the hand-that-almost-got-amputated, it resonates. Gave me flashbacks for a moment there. Fantastic writing - You Should Write a Book!05/07/2016 #8 Jason AttarWell said on lessons learned!
And Management, please remember that your staff is a reflection of your abilities. Like a sport(s) team, the players maybe in perfect shape and the best of the best however if the coach provides a poor playbook and expects his players to compensate for his/ her incompetence... ...well we all know the outcome.