- Producer29/11/2017Does Every Comment Merit a Reply?I like being on beBee more than any other social networks. That is the reason why I am sometimes a bit too critical towards some things I noticed here that could, upon my opinion, diminish the pleasure of social networking. After my post about...
Comments29/11/2017 #17 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorI don't comment on everything I read if I have nothing constructive to add. If I write a post and receive comments, then I feel my acknowledging that comment is being grateful and respectful on my part.
One-word comments are difficult to judge because the author doesn't know if the comment is just a drive-through message or a true thought of appreciation. I don't have a problem with one-word comments if I don't see the same commenter using it repetitively.
I agree with @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian and @Pascal Derrien.29/11/2017 #16 Phil Friedman@Lada 🏡 Prkic, thank you for the call-out. As with most things social, the answer to your question is not simple. Personally, I believe that every comment made in good faith deserves a reply or at least an acknowledgment. Otherwise, the author of the post is saying that his or her thoughts warrant attention but that those of the readers do not. So I try to answer all comments except those which are clearly abusive or ill-intended. Some comments are more complicated and longer than the post itself. In such cases, I try to pick a key point to respond to. However, I take the most satisfaction when something I've published touches off an extended and animated dialogue between a reader and myself, or between a group of readers. For me, intellectual exchange and engagement are what it's all about. And yes, driving engagement requires enormous amounts of time and effort. Good question here. Cheers!29/11/2017 #14 Thomas VaughanI don't think each comment merits a reply. Comments/replies are only useful if they add information to the dialog. Otherwise they just add clutter. Many of my comments (albeit still mostly on LinkedIn) ask for more info. A reply to the comment is only useful if it deals with the question or disputes the comment or something. I avoid commenting on posts with many comments/replies - can't really contribute because it will get lost in the clutter.
Comments of the form "Great read" or "Awesome" are just long-form "likes" but they obscure real dialog. I am afraid nasty comments are unavoidable without an "unlike" button. It really should be about information content not just socializing in print.29/11/2017 #13 Harvey LloydI am more observer than poster on social media. I have observed some of the same trends you stated in your post. With each comment io make or post i read you begin to understand who is looking for conversation, who is just throwing their name out and many other agendas.
In honesty i would have to admit when i first weighed in on social media i treated it as a conversation i would have with anyone in person. I really got schooled that its really not a conversation for everyone. In posting we all have an agenda. Mine is observation and exploration of ideals that are different.
Like a new social group you have to wade in slowly and figure out each person and if the comments or likes are appreciated or not. I am with you though. If i do post and someone takes time to comment i am appreciative and respond. Even if i don't like their comment. They took the time from all the other noise and read my post and commented.
It is a dilemma with rules i guess that are different than physical social settings. Great conversation.29/11/2017 #11 John PrpichI remember when I used to be excited about blogging, I made an effort to talk about issues that I didn't feel were being addressed hoping for a conversation, I was interested in what others were thinking. I stopped blogging because I've come to realize that most people are thinking the same thing, right or wrong and that killed my interest. There's so much white noise out in the world that social electronic conversation has become of very little interest. People are close-minded and really not interested in changing their perspectives. Most comments are repeated over and over again, which tells you that people won't even take the time to read what others have written, so they repeat themselves. I call it drive by social conversation, here's what I think, thanks, have a good day.
Most people believe they have something important to say or share, unfortunately, that's not true. Thanks, Lada, Good Luck.29/11/2017 #8 Mohammed A. JawadSimple courtesies matter! It's best we reciprocate to someone's thoughtful comments, with our own feedback and gratitude. And then, how we respond depends on the way we perceive others' writings. If we fail to counsel or comment on others' work, then it's best to learn from others' flow of writing. After all, good, inspiring posts enhances and refreshes one's knowledge.29/11/2017 #7 Lada 🏡 Prkic#3 Me too, Pascal. Responding is a very demanding if you want to write more than just a thank-you-for- commenting reply. It's even more demanding when you want to write responses to comments written by some great thinkers on beBee. I have a feeling that my little grey cells are going to explode trying to write an equal insightful reply. :)29/11/2017 #5 Zacharias 🐝 VoulgarisIt depends on the comment. Some of the comments are there just to express gratitude to the author, or include someone else in the loop so that they can read the buzz also. Other comments are more interactive, offering different perspectives and perhaps even questioning the assumptions of the author. The latter tend to require more attention, perhaps even a reply. Whatever the case, I'm fine if you don't reply to any of my comments :-)29/11/2017 #3 Pascal DerrienWhile I don't always leave a comment on what I read (mainly because I have nothing to say), I always reply to those who take the time to drop a line on my posts, now sometimes (most of the time actually :-)) my answers don't match the insightful and smart comments or pointers but at least I acknowledge them. In the end I find answering to comments pretty hard
- Producer29/11/2017Drama at work? Why does that happen?And how can we avoid it?We've all experienced drama at work, right? Why does that happen, and how can we change the culture and dynamic in our department?In some cases, drama is stirred up because people aren't busy enough. Believe it or not,...
Comments29/11/2017 #8 Lupita 🐝 ReyesQuite interesting @Sarah Elkins!! There’s people who manipulate others and that’s a big problem behind the scenes. It’s not difficult to find out this situation because the person that is creating drama gets too offended and doesn’t do anything to solve the problem.
Drama queens or kings need to be confronted and handled. They need help, but normally they won’t accept that they do.
It’s better to say:
Good luck 🍀
You will need it.
My two cents. Cheers!!29/11/2017 #7 Claire L CardwellIt's a nightmare working with a drama king or queen @Sarah Elkins! I had to let someone go a couple of years back because he was an alcoholic and became increasingly unstable and his behaviour was quite threatening at times. Now I am on my own again and hoping I can find someone soon that's reliable and who can help me with my drawings!29/11/2017 #6 Pascal DerrienI have seen all of them some were even in my teams or reporting to me, now I would be cautious about bucketing and boxing people by type though..... somebody I thought was very difficult in my team once finally admitted to me he was .....bipolar but was not medicalized there is always more than meet the eye , to the others he was a pain in the butt but nobody knew....29/11/2017 #2 Cyndi wilkins#1 Love that suggestion @Phil Friedman...That tactic works well with misbehavin' children too...so I guess that's just what these folk are underneath it all;-)
Nice post @Sarah Elkins...but I tend to not waste my time with people like this...Walking away works best for me...lest I do give them a much needed 'crack on their ego'...not very professional I know...but it works;-)29/11/2017 #1 Phil FriedmanOne of the best suggestions I've ever received for dealing with verbal bullies at work to break their tirade with a sharp loud noise. No, not by slapping them in the face. But, for example, by slamming a book on a desk. Or if that seems too confrontational for you, by simply knocking a book or other heavy object off a desk or table onto the floor -- as though inadvertently. It works. The noise breaks their ranting and gives them a chance to stop. It also brings perhaps unwanted attention to their behavior, so again they stop. Good piece, Sarah. Cheers!
- Producer18/11/2017If Only We Can Live Past Mistrustful VigilanceReactive jealousy – occurs when one becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship Suspicious jealousy – occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions do not fit the facts There is so much...
Comments18/11/2017 #5 Lisa Vanderburg@Kevin Baker & @Renée 🐝 Cormier's https://www.bebee.com/producer/@renee-cormier/what-about-the-girls-who-can-t-say-no#c32
My comments, I hope, will find truth?18/11/2017 #4 Lisa VanderburgSuperb @Kevin Baker! I applaud your no-holes-barred approach; 'The most dangerous people are the one's who pretend they always have it handled.' So very true.....
I make 400 mistakes on a good day, several thousand on a bad. You are so right about banter; me and my husband exchange the sarcastic type we so enjoy most of each day & we've been together 40 years. I'm broken, but I accept that, so no blood in the water from me :)
- Producer15/11/2017What about the girls who can't say no?Twenty years ago, my mother told me that men were going to have their comeuppance for all the rotten things they have been doing to women since God made little green apples. It turns out that my mother was not only a man hater but also a heck of...
Comments20/11/2017 #65 Brian McKenzieGee, take the shaming language out of that, and I get two incomplete sentences and 3 errant clauses. WTF would men ever be convinced to come back to that? Save that trype for the MRA Basement dwellers that believe y'all can change and are worth coming back to. #MGTOW is not about rebuilding the 1950's Leave it to Beaver BS - THAT is pure Trad-Con cuckery.
P.S. I am staring at 50, been mobilized for International American shit shows 9 times and have never married. I well know the stench and stain of what makes the world go around. I already covered my Vasectomy, and I continue to recommend it to men across the globe, I even help coordinate the med travel trips to help them get it done.
We're unplugging from the game, and training the generations behind us to do the same.19/11/2017 #63 Nicole ChardenetHey folks, one of the best and longest-running discussions on Quora is "What's something that sucks about being a man?" Lots and lots of good discussion by both men and women about men's rights, without a lot of misogynist or misandrist hysterics. Check it out! https://www.quora.com/Whats-something-that-sucks-about-being-a-man19/11/2017 #62 Nicole Chardenet#58 My sentiments entirely, Lisa! I refuse to dehumanize @Brian McKenzie the way he dehumanizes women. I refuse to not show him some sympathy just because it annoys him to not annoy me ;) And I will keep reminding you, Brian, as long as you keep coming back for more, that you have the power to reclaim your manhood any time you like. But it won't be easy and you can't do it without help. You're surely not going to find your stones in the any of the 'men's rights' groups or especially the, as someone already pointed out, the self-castrating MGTOW culture. Sounds like feminists here aren't willing to fight with you because they see you for the angry, confused, utterly (self) defeated manchild you are. I've said for a year now that women 'pwn' you, and we do...which is why you hide away in Nowhereisztan where the men are just as clearly pwned by women and their inability to control their thoughts about women as you.
In the end, you are *no better* than the extremist feminists you understandably loathe. Bitch, moan, whine complain all you want about how unfairly they treat men, but *you're* the one who ran off to your *own little 'safe space' where you never need be challenged by a woman again. Just one more commonality you share with your damaged sisters.19/11/2017 #61 Brian McKenzieIf you think having no contact or minimal contact with women - a full risk mitigation of their intrusion into men's life is 'rape' - you need serious counseling.
As for the Feminists ans SJWs inviting violence, assault, rape and murder into their lives with open excitement - look no further than post 2011 Sweden.
Evidence, Performance, Precedence and Forecasting - marriage / kids / dating / interaction with women is not worth the ROI vs ROE cost benefit analysis. Remember, y'all started the bicycle/fish rant, #MGTOW agrees: No MEN for you - but feel to gorge on the all you can get buffet of thugs, criminals, murders and f*ckboys. And know, we are no longer rescuing "Princesses".
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@brian-mckenzie/why-men-are-leaving-what-is-sharp-mgtow18/11/2017 #59 Lisa Vanderburg#57 well...I'm shamed! I asked earlier about the reply button? I can see mine didn't do it either :)
Sir; you are forever welcome and I am forever grateful for you @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee View more#57 well...I'm shamed! I asked earlier about the reply button? I can see mine didn't do it either :)
Sir; you are forever welcome and I am forever grateful for you @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...you bring us all hope! Close18/11/2017 #58 Lisa Vanderburg#45 #53 Can you not see @Brian McKenzie that your comment 45 endorses rape? Tsk. That's gotta swing both ways.
I have not 'unfriended' you, nor will I. I know enough by now to see how entrenched you are in your position, and I feel sorry for you. BTW: I've had one death-threat already, so you don't 'scare' me. I'm curious as to why you bother to show up at all on other's buzz' just to re-hammer your ideals? I would expect a child to do that; not a grown man. You have not offered any explanation or even argument for you're extreme position, even though you have been asked with courtesy and empathy. I think you want to be heard; you want to be understood because you are in pain. I have no desire to 'shame' you. You will be welcomed if you PM me. And take up gardening....it's cathartic.18/11/2017 #56 Lisa Vanderburg#50 #51 You got some serious stones..allow me to polish them for you, darlin' @Nicole Chardenet! Yes to EVERYTHING you said, and with civility, grace and empathy! I have to admit I no longer even know if I'm radical, feminist, liberalist, any ist really? I'm a tad busy caring for my poor hubby's needs with 18 years of Parkinson's. Still, I DID marry him for his money; he bet me £40 then that I wouldn't :) What I did for that 40.................
Apologies to @Renée 🐝 Cormier for using her platform, but this business with @Brian McKenzie has to come out.18/11/2017 #52 Nicole ChardenetGreat debate here, folks. I would like to note that on Quora there are a *lot* of great discussions about gender relations, feminism, etc., participated in by men who have a far more rational and less emotional reaction than the angry MGTOWs et al. It's also peopled by women like myself sympathetic to their very real grievances. It's MGTOW without the hysterics and hostility. Check them out!18/11/2017 #51 Nicole Chardenet#45 Agreed, Brian. And I've had my trip to the vet too..when I was 39, a birthday gift to myself. There IS too much overgeneralization on both sides - in fact, I called a feminist friend on it the other night when she referred to men in general as 'the rapists'. It's one of the many gripes I have with certain branches of feminism that have never evolved and who have come to enshrine permanent victimhood for women. I don't identify with weakness and powerlessness the way they do. My own feminism is a bit too muscular for many.
One of the reasons why I've been more patient with you than I might customarily is because I see too much of my former self in you. I used to be angry, hostile, blamed everyone else for my problems and came to consciously recognize that I had come to hate men in general. But...I've gotten better, and I think turning fifty has had something to do with it...and also getting into Buddhism, mindfulness and meditation. I also do a lot more research on neuroscience, gender relations, relationships, emotions, etc. to better understand both men and women and be less judgmental. So, if I can do it, you can do it, although you will probably have a longer and harder path because you've alluded to a quite unhappy childhood that I didn't have. But I want to encourage you to stop generalizing like all those damn misandrist (misangrist? I typed that by mistake, corrected it, then wondered if it was maybe right the first way LOL) feminists. They've got their heads up their asses just as much as you and the MGTOWS ;)18/11/2017 #50 Nicole Chardenet#43 Lisa, I too understand the appeal of @Brian McKenzie's MGTOW movement, and I agree with your assessments that it's mostly angry, damaged men who have given up trying to deal with women...and they have some quite legitimate gripes and complaints, along with the other haters in the Red Pill groups, the MRAs, etc. Women are forever bleating on about how we want men to discuss their feelings, and then when we hear what we don't like...we slap them down over and over again and shut them up with accusations of being misogynist pigs. Then a whole whack of women vote for a self-confessed pussy-grabber and THEN wonder why the Harvey Weinsteins and Bill Cosbys of the world think misogyny and male entitlement is okay. And we wonder where the angry ragebabies come from. Well, some of them are decent men who gave in to the hopelessness, like Brian, and go to their own forums to lick their wounds and completely ignore the ocean of information about women that would teach them how to get along with women better and to see things a bit more from their perspective...but women will have to do the same, and that means not reacting like hissing cats every time they hear a *legitimate* criticism of women, feminism, and the selective victimhood of too many feminists.
The Left in general wouldn't listen to some of the more reasoned voices on the Right on a number of different issues - gender, sexuality, race, immigration, and of course those problematic Muslims - so now the conversation has emerged on *their* terms...twisted, ugly, blind, and exactly what the Left ordered.18/11/2017 #46 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#34 thank you @Lisa Vanderburg. I may have a "twisted" view on this issue raised by @Renée 🐝 Cormier.
I believe in the freedom of choice. We are all have sexual desires. I experienced those desires in my life. I always made a point. If zI have the choice to ask the girl had the free choice of saying no. Never again ask the same girl.
If we don't respect the choice of assking and of being turned down then we respect nothing.
- Producer11/11/2017A rant in transit - is there anyone out there?Are we really wiser than our forbearers of yesteryear? Have we evolved in terms of our values and ethics? Sadly I believe not. We have indeed quantified more of our environment and we’ve advanced in the ways of technology, but at what price? ...
Comments13/11/2017 #32 Ian Weinberg#30 Thanks for that Deas. Indeed I believe that we're messing with enough 'earthly' systems that pain for mankind is sure to follow. The current weather upheaval is just the beginning. Famine, lack of potable water and disease are also well underway. For in addition to our disrespect for each other and for the planet, is over-population. This planet just can't support the 7billion and counting. So inevitably and whatever it takes, numbers have to come down and will surely come down.13/11/2017 #30 Deas PlantHi, Ian W.
I agree totally. I would even go so far as to say that we don't DESERVE to be able to populate other worlds until we learn to look after this one.
How-wevver, I also have a different slant on the possible eventual outcomes. I have maintained for a long time now that Mother earth is a BIG girl and well able to look after herself. If she gets titred of us noisy, messy fighting human beings, she is quite capable of shaking us off like a bunch of pesky flies and starting all over again, possibly without the by then demonstrably 'failed experiment' of humanity.
Let us hope that human-kind awakes in time to prevent such a result - - - and then begin to collectively work toward preventing it from becoming necessary.
Just my 0.02.
You have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.12/11/2017 #29 Cyndi wilkins#28 Unfortunately my dear friend...governments feed large corporations to suppress the technological advances that currently exist as free energy propulsion systems in order to feed their own agenda of militarizing an entire planet with 'space based' weapons and the constant threat of war with foreign invaders.
This goes far beyond plastic food containers...although the FDA is a huge player in all the secrecy too...What's the best way to control a species?? Keep em' sick and scared...There won't be a future generation without a planet to live on.
The most effective thing we can do is concentrate on cultivating our own physical and emotional well-being and teach our children to do the same...Respecting Mother Nature as you would your own Mother...and having reverence for all of life. What we 'see' is a lie...what we 'feel' is truth.12/11/2017 #28 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#27 @Cyndi wilkins I must have been 6 when this girl gave that speech in 1992, I had no idea then I had the responsibility of protecting my environment nor did my teachers lead by example! Change is a very difficult but ACHIEVABLE ONLY with practice. And if governments stop feeding in large corporations and if they stop giving them tax exempts from so many things they do to destroy our earth we may stand a chance! A global movement or a Strike of I won't use plastic packed containers, food item, snacks etc may do a thing or two!12/11/2017 #27 Cyndi wilkins#26 You are absolutely spot on @🐝 Fatima G. Williams...change is a very difficult but ACHIEVABLE transition to make if we fine tune our thoughts here in the present to consider the consequences of our decisions and actions and the impact they have on not only our immediate future but that of many generations to come...That is if we haven't destroyed everything by then:-(12/11/2017 #26 🐝 Fatima G. Williams@Ian Weinberg The only thing I can say, is tell me about it Whiff!
In the below video 12-yr old Severn Cullis-Suzuki's gives a speech to the UN in 1992 and today’s youth give the ECO speech again in this video compilation, 25 years later! NOTHING HAS CHANGED! She told delegates she was scared for her future & reminded them that their 1st responsibility is to future generations. Today the speech continues to make the rounds on social media. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpu-PP-8YP8
How do we collectively make a change?
I can stop using plastic bags, take the metro and not drive to work. What else can I do? I can use the disposable garbage bags, segregate my garbage waste until I don't use any unrecyclable product and influence people to do the same.
Yes, If we stop buying products that are packed in non-recyclable containers or packs, won't the manufacturers deal with a more environmentally friendly solution for the same?
If I stop using the plastic bags given at supermarkets and shopping malls won't they have to figure out how to make cloth bags for all customers!
It is difficult but it's achievable! Our hope is love and respect, For each other and for the environment. Let's build a better future for our children and their children!12/11/2017 #25 Jerry FletcherIan, I feel the pain as you do. Unhappily I have visited airport restrooms that approximate the one that set you off. At least that litter is biodegradable. The plastic and other items with a hundred year half life that come out of just one fast food joint in a day beggars that stupidity. Here in North America I'm stunned that the grocery clerk still asks "paper or plastic." And so it goes.12/11/2017 #17 Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee#4 @Pamela Williams yes. There is a show on in australia called 'the war on Waste" - it is fabulously confronting and at the same time apttemps to educate the uneducated about what happens to our waste. We are able to rape and purge the environment and manufacture it into products for people to buy for economic gain. -We still have such a long way to go to learn how to care for ourselves, our families, our communities, our environment - one of the key shifts needed is valuing "care" and "nurturing" and "community" and "inter-dependence with each other and the environment in which we live.
- Producer23/10/2017Do something different ; Silently?(GOING SILENT WHEN IT IS MORE APPROPRIATE)We all like to safeguard our life (both professional as well as personal) from all kinds of unwanted problems.We plan well and take enough precautions such that we don't get into trouble and want to make sure that we take a safe route in all that we...
- Producer02/10/2017Why talking too loudly drives your co-workers crazyMy youngest daughter has no volume switch. Just like her late Grandfather, she has only one setting. Spinal Tap 'up to 11' loud. And just like anyone in business with the same genetic affliction, I find myself simply switching off when they speak....
Comments02/10/2017 #2 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorYep, loud talkers are most distracting, even a cubicle doesn't soften the clatter. There are also those that feel they have to yell into their phone receiver to make themselves heard. Also, there are some people that have piercing voices, which can be very distracting.02/10/2017 #1 Wayne Yoshida@Steve Blakeman -- Yup, those people are irritating. But - perhaps it is a medical problem? Many people who are hard of hearing tend to speak loudly.
On the "receive side" - headphones or hearing protectors help, sort of like this:
And this on listening, or "half-duplex" mode:
- Producer29/09/2017Purposeful AngerThere are several wonderful conversations buzzing around the 'hives' lately addressing the behaviors that many of us find offensive and unacceptable on social media...or anywhere else for that matter. The comments sections are rich with input from...
Comments02/10/2017 #47 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#46 thank you for having written such a wonderful post @Cyndi wilkins02/10/2017 #46 Cyndi wilkins"It is a cry for attention, we need to listen to it. It is part of being human."
Nailed it @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc....Thank you for sharing;-)02/10/2017 #45 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.our healing bee @Cyndi wilkins has something very important to say, read it!02/10/2017 #44 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#1 thank you for the tag @Cyndi wilkins, wonderful post, yes, let us bee compassionate, when we take well care of anger, it can be transformed in a more positive emotion. It is a cry for attention, we need to listen to it. It is part of being human.01/10/2017 #43 Cyndi wilkins#41 @Martin Wright...I love how you take the frustration of dealing with scammers and turn it into brilliant detective work;-) If anyone out there is receiving emails for jobs that sound too good to be true, I suggest you click on Martin's link and do a little detective work of your own! Thanks for sharing that Martin;-)01/10/2017 #42 Cyndi wilkinsThank you for the share @CityVP 🐝 Manjit...I think this is a very important conversation for everyone to be having within all relationships...personal and professional. And most especially with our children...as they are growing up in this new age of technology...learning to communicate with clarity and respect is key for their success in any circumstance....Once you put it out there, you cannot just take it back;-)01/10/2017 #41 Martin Wright@Cyndi Wilkins to Watch Out for
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/scammers-still-try-new-one-watch-out-martin-wright01/10/2017 #36 Cyndi wilkinsI absolutely agree @David B. Grinberg, that constructive criticism and/or discussion of professional differences are not only possible but essential to creating the diversity necessary to implement meaningful change...and I always welcome the thoughts of @Phil Friedman for his unique ability to effect just such changes in perception...and that is the bottom line here...Respectfully....
I will refer to a comment made by @CityVP 🐝 Manjit on the original post by @Lisa Vanderburg at the center point of this buzz...
"If the conversation is a political or cerebral sport then it pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space."
Thank you so kindly for your input on this VERY important issue...If we behave badly, what example are we setting for our children...01/10/2017 #35 David B. GrinbergCyndi, while I haven't been privy to the discussion you mention in some hives, my own advice is simple: social media users should always to do their best to keep it positive, constructive and cordial regardless of the platform -- and especially here on beBee to maintain a professional image for all bees and the brand.
There's never a good excuse for bullying behavior via social media, much less bad manners or trash talk -- all of which only hurts the personal brand of the person causing trouble (ie. the term "troll"). Moreover, as my friend @Phil Friedman has previously pointed out, it's certainly possible (and advisable) to contribute constructive comments to an open online dialogue even when one is expressing disagreement. There's nothing wrong with having strong opinions, just don't be abusive online.
The worst choice IMHO is to engage in petty personal attacks, especially involving partisan politics.
To the contrary, it's always best -- in the short run and long term -- to take the high road, even when strongly disputing one's points. Just do it in a respectful manner and treat others on social media the same way you want to be treated. Thanks for considering these points and keep buzzing!
cc: @Javier 🐝 beBee30/09/2017 #34 Cyndi wilkins#33 @Martin Wright...That is a perfect example for the naming of this 'buzz'...Purposeful Anger... I would love for you to share a link here to an article you were motivated to write as a result of having been triggered by anger...We can turn this frown upside down;-)30/09/2017 #32 Lisa Vanderburg#16 Well @Brian McKenzie...you have a very good point. If we were all sitting around a table, I expect we'd be able to see the shades of our own coats and that would help us converse better. I know there have been a lot of buzzes/posts on this of late, but the way I see it; it's been fruitful and helping a lot of us (especially me!) understand the many choices we have in our responses not only to discuss the buzzee, but to evolve the comments, thus the conversation. I think it's healthy and much needed, or we all end up in the stone-age of FB :) BTW, I say that with good intent and respect!30/09/2017 #31 Lisa Vanderburg#6 As kids, me and my sister (after receiving a thrashing) used to sit in the bath-tub and play 'slap'. We took it in turns to slap each other fairly gently (...okay, sometimes) round the face. It always ended up in schlapplakker. Look what's come out of all this - understanding and I'm fairly sure I'm building another brain-cell...that makes THREE!! :)30/09/2017 #28 Kevin BakerIt is very important to not react but to empathize just what could be the motivation of intention, and then act even if it is to not act. All anyone can do is not pass it on and let the energy dissipate, leaving the room for something positive to emerge and grow forward. Bravo @Cyndi wilkins
- Producer26/09/2017"Them's Fighting Words" - How to Deal with Rude People on Social Media?"Avoid loud and aggressive persons, for they are vexatious to the spirit. " Desiderata Most people come to social media in a positive frame of mind. They welcome interaction and see every opportunity for engagement as a chance to learn, build...
Comments23/10/2017 #20 Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBAThere are some situations in which one has to set boundaries. Please check out my follow up post.
Blog post: Advanced Team Building Challenges: Setting Boundaries for Bullies and Other Tyrants https://corporateteambuilding.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/managing-bullies-and-tyrants View moreThere are some situations in which one has to set boundaries. Please check out my follow up post.
Blog post: Advanced Team Building Challenges: Setting Boundaries for Bullies and Other Tyrants https://corporateteambuilding.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/managing-bullies-and-tyrants
Discussion: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6327932361069649920 Close04/10/2017 #19 Maria MustaphaI agree - I tend to ignore them, otherwise, you can spend a lot of time defending your position, and what you really meant. And I've also seen instances, where the person doing the defending ends up coming across really badly because they've lost their temper. so, even if its hard, I just move on!01/10/2017 #18 Jerry FletcherAnne, god to see you in action here. I agree that the best remedy for the completely intractable is to summarily dispatch them to the untouchables pile. However, sometimes it can be amusing to watch them paint themselves into a corner and try to climb the walls to escape.28/09/2017 #16 Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA#15 Awesome Lisa. Thank you for stopping by. This conversation is so much richer because of Franci's share. I popped over and interacted on your post and now you are here and we are having a great time. Sharing contributions is no threat to anyone unless it involves blatant promotional pitches for products and services. I have addressed that in another article.28/09/2017 #14 Lisa Vanderburg#3 I LOVE this buzz which is sooo much more elegant than mine! (Thanks for the share @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador!). @Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA, you have made it crystal-clear how to deal with those pesky brats, and I'm grateful not only for that, but for your humor! :)
I had no trouble getting shot of inappropriate behavior on LI...maybe I need to change my jammies :)28/09/2017 #13 Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBAThank you for your support everyone. Just one small ask. I shared this as my personal opinion not my company or brand position. If you want to share it "Awesome". As requested, please share using my personal handle @athornleybrown http://www.twitter.com/athornleybrown View moreThank you for your support everyone. Just one small ask. I shared this as my personal opinion not my company or brand position. If you want to share it "Awesome". As requested, please share using my personal handle @athornleybrown http://www.twitter.com/athornleybrown Thank you. Close28/09/2017 #12 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador#10 Sure thing. Here's the link. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lisa-vanderburg/dilemma28/09/2017 #10 Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA#6 Thank you for your support @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. Do you mind sharing the link to @Lisa Vanderburg's post. Unlike the lady who went ballistic, I have absolutely no objections to people sharing links that are relevant to the conversation. I welcome them as long as they are not promotional pitches.28/09/2017 #6 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorI like this post-@Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA. Well balanced and to the point. Your post is quite timely as I just read and commented on a relevant post by @Lisa Vanderburg.
My approach is I don't want to waste my time on negative encounters and I prefer to ignore them.
BTW, I love the Desiderata and have a copy of it in a lovely hardback book.26/09/2017 #5 Puneet SrivastavaSensitive people should be truly careful on social media as also in life. Besides, every individual must decide on their own limits - What you share, why you share. Plus, more importantly, what you read and why you read. Because you react only on or via what you watch or read most of the time. Lastly, occasional rub-offs may happen, as they do in life also. They then should be handled on a merit of case basis. This is what I feel on the subject. Nice write-up. very balanced. Congrats @Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA26/09/2017 #4 Devesh 🐝 Bhatt#3 No.
I am suggesting that if people are rude to you... as you suggested block them.
If the same problem of verbal rudeness exists in the real world, rude people troubling you and you cannot block them as it is the real world.... in many cases there is no authority to seek relief in countries like India.... and you are havig trouble getting the courage and confidence in the real world
learn to defend yourself on social media in an assertive manner... gain confidence and do the same in the real world.26/09/2017 #2 Devesh 🐝 BhattSocial media gives one the liberty to block people with ease.
Not possible in the real world
If the real world poses the same problem of rude people showing dominance and one feels helpless in countering... rude people on social media are good practice.
People who are oppressed, often develop a well structured answer, they just dont realise it due to a lack of confidence. Just getting into a conversation is the best way to get oneself talking.
I ve seen this work for many people who are reduced to online working because offices are too darn toxic. social media interactions allowed them to open up and some people were kind enough to boost their confidence.
This progress reflected well in their real world dealings.
- Producer27/09/2017DILEMMADilemma. It’s a delicious word; one I keep repeating. I find myself rolling it ‘round my mouth until my tongue splits like a serpent. Why is that? It’s a two-tined word.'1520s, from Late Latin dilemma, from Greek dilemma "double proposition," a...
Comments01/10/2017 #78 Lisa Vanderburg@Cyndi wilkins...I also find children to be wonderful! https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lisa-vanderburg/introspection
You brought up kids..... :)01/10/2017 #75 Lisa Vanderburg#74 Darn tootin' @CityVP 🐝 Manjit! If I could reiterate your whole comment, I would, but 'Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship.' Never a truer statement for mature adults! I agree that the age of reaching maturity is a huge band; seems to me that is particularly so in the first world, where the disparity between mature '21-year olds' appears enormous....could be I'm just getting old.01/10/2017 #74 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#73 Even though coming of age is meant to be a right of passage, it is also an assumption that this is when the teenage brain matures into the adult brain. Sometimes the difference between 19 and 25 can be night and day, so there is no magic 21 for any of us. There are ways of mitigating reckless behaviour but there are so many factors and variables that mean we need to understand a child in the context of their given experiences and development. I would not be surprised to learn of people whose actual coming of age was 37 !!!
At the same time a very upright and mature individual can have a moment of extreme childishness because after all, we are only human and having an adult brain does not necessarily confer adult behaviour. Maturity is as rational as irrationality and whether it is brutal girls, macho boys or soccer moms, I think we all have moments in our lives which are not our finer moments. What we don't want in those moments is someone to become the action replay booth. It is uncomfortable to have someone replay our actions when we know that those actions were not ones where we were at our best.
Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship. If we have a relationship, we protect and nurture relationships, but whether it is a teenage brain not wired for sensitivities or insensitive moron who has the relationship of a pile of pigswill, there is a point where we become mindful of a relationship and feedback. As we evolve as human beings, we hopefully will also evolve in our ability to create quality relationships. Not political correctness or being woke, but the recognition that we will fail more than we succeed in developing quality relationships that are limited also by our scope.01/10/2017 #73 Cyndi wilkins#72 Well...I was only twelve at the time;-) I've learned a lot about letting boys be boys since then... Still applies when they are men;-) I'll tell you what though, guys are a hell of lot easier on each other than we lil' bitches at that age...My daughter is in middle school now and these girls are brutal...posting inappropriate photos and bad mouthing classmates online to humiliate them to their peers...THAT is the kind of stuff that worries me more than anything...Children do not have the mental maturity at this age to discern and think for themselves when being bullied...and too often these things lead to horrible tragedies...This is where we should ALL be focusing more of our attention...What kind of example are we setting for our children?30/09/2017 #70 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#69 There are certain characteristics of animal kingdom ritual that human beings still have kinship and machismo is just one element in the bag of ego that convinces some that they are being men of reason, when the reality would only be known if we got David Attenborough to narrate in the distance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQI5KUfM2xc
"The male seals begin to taunt each other and this exposes the weakest of the herd, but in the distance something unusual has occurred, a single dolphin (with a sizeable brain) tries to come to the aid of the weakest seal and the seals do not appreciate the interaction of this species. The dolphin immediately retreats realizing it has made life more rather than easier for the weakest in the seal herd"
It is not so much lessons learned for me as observing life the way David Attenborough would look at it - pull back and watch the show and then try to figure out what brews behind the behaviour.30/09/2017 #69 Cyndi wilkins"It pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space."
I love this comment @CityVP 🐝 Manjit because it reminds me of a memory in sixth grade when I really had a thing for this boy in my class...We were really good friends and I liked having the attention of a 'boy' friend;-) Then one afternoon I happened upon an incident on the playground where my friend was being pushed around and taunted by a group of others boys...Naturally I felt the need to come to the defense of my friend...much to his disapproval at my butting in on a 'guy thing.'
Unfortunately, I only succeeded in embarrassing him and he never spoke to me again...Lesson learned.30/09/2017 #68 Lisa Vanderburg#67 Amen, brother @CityVP 🐝 Manjit - thank you so much for your thoughtful and witty comments! I agree; I like diversity...would be a very dull play without it. And I love your understanding of 'batty-boys' & catty girls :) It's refreshing to jump in each other's sand-pits and get a bit gritty, just leave the mace, arrows and shiv out, or there will be tears before bedtime! :)30/09/2017 #67 CityVP 🐝 ManjitSocial media is not as well developed as our living room media, and so there is no Viewers Discretion warnings on social media buzzes. I love diversity and as much as I am often piggy in the middle and am cool with the mainstream, I like being a witness to the edges and the extremes - because that encompasses diversity.
When the batty boys start batting, I recognize where they play and the critical level of discourse that ensues. That is far different from the immoral troll who is a diaper sized kid trying to get off on yanking people's chain. So social media when it is best has different sandpits to play in, and it is not just about providing room for the voice of the batty boys, it is also room for the fighting cats. I see more cat-fights in the offline world than I do online but this is not about bullying, but the extremes of human expression - and what I find most intriguing is when a batty boy considers critical thought as an argument when it is between batty boys and we consider it a cat-fight when it is women exchanging vociferous argument.
Other than the odd weirdo or troll, one should not be playing rugby in a tennis match, nor tennis in a rugby match. If the conversation is a political or cerebral sport then it pays to recognize the context and let those who enjoy that tougher playground have their space. Why engage in a conversation where historical precedent shows that there is a higher degree of getting our noses out of joint. At the same time, the same regard for context should be held by batty boys and fighting-cats.
If a space has a civil context and the conversation is nuanced and very deep, having a grunge band opinion cutting through is simply someone who is out of touch. Morality and ethics has a higher plain than online conversation, and a higher bar on ethics and morality does not place a ban or censure on the lowest common denominator. My first goal is to welcome diversity.30/09/2017 #66 Lisa VanderburgWelcome @JosephDavid Thomas! Posting a buzz here is a bit of a challenge....for me, anyhoo! Can't keep my headers the same size :) You're right though, how dilemma could also be easily translated to 'double-speak'.
Thanks Ambassador and dear friend @Deb 🐝 Helfrich!30/09/2017 #65 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#64 Hey there, @JosephDavid Thomas. Being brand new, you misinterpreted who shared the article with who authored it.
Easy mistake to make while scrolling the feed the first time.
Distribution on beBee isn't algorithmically controlled, but rather all about the human level shares.
So the sharer's picture shows above the author's.
No harm, no foul, we are all friends around here! And love to chat.29/09/2017 #62 Cyndi wilkins#54 " Take into account those authors that take a reasonable statement that does not align with their post/buzz, and use it to pulverize the commenter."
Agreed...So down regulate the emotion...Anger begets anger...so choose the opposing energy of gratitude instead by responding to such behavior peacefully...That in and of itself is empowering to YOU...the RESPONDER...Nothing is more disarming than a smile...Sure...they may shoot you in the head for it, but you'll go down smiling;-)
Okay, I'll shut up now and let 'da boys' talk!
- Producer21/05/2017Tagging or is it Tag, you're it?!This is going to make me sound like a witch but I need to say it.I don't mind being tagged on posts that are helping beBee to market their brand. I don't mind being tagged on a post that has vital information that is more than likely going to go...
Comments26/09/2017 #101 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#100 I was getting quite a few on my cell until I added them to the auto reject list. Seems to work. Land line, no luck- even with being on the do not call list, it's a waste of time now.
I agree, don't mind being tagged at all but there is limit as you pointed out @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, thanks for sharing!25/09/2017 #100 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorWe have cell phones only. I add the incoming unwanted #'s to the auto reject list on our phones, which we get only one ring and they're gone. Unfortunately, with some calls, the jerks can still leave a message.
I never answer our phones unless it is someone we know. Also, you can usually tell by the tel number if it is a robo call. To top it off, we get calls that show as coming from the United States.
Relating to being tagged on beBee, I don't mind but overdoing it defeats the purpose. As much as I love beBee, I've other things to do so I may not be able to get everyone's buzz, especially those that post several times a week.
Buzz on! :)24/09/2017 #97 stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador#95 in fact several apps nd technologies exists. Apps that block TMarketers but only after 1st call, now call centers shuffle the outbound phone numbers to fool the apps, non efficient. VOIP servers that host your DID number aka your phone numbers can deny rang of IP of outbound callers.But you have to get rid of your national phone service and buy an IPPBX server to run your own VoIP phone company and telecom units through high speed internet. ISP required no phone service.24/09/2017 #95 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#90 I'm surprised phones don't have the technology to decipher by now if we are receiving robo calls or calls from telemarketers. It would be nice to have a special message just for them w/out hearing the phone ring at all... just like going to VM. Hey someone could make big bucks off of that technology if they were able to create it. In the mean time, I like your idea and believe me, I've done it before. It's SO bad before elections! Thanks for your comment Phil.24/09/2017 #94 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#88 Glad you found it useful @Gloria 🐝 🐾 💫 ☕ (Glo) Ochoa, feel free to use any part of this you desire. Oddly, a few didn't seem to get the notice- still being serial tagged but I've found it easy to ignore since I've written this. Others tag here and there and I realize when certain people do, they have a mission outside of themselves- or they are tagging to help promote someone else's article, that's cool too.24/09/2017 #90 Phil FriedmanMy thanks to you, Lisa, and to many of your commenters here. After reading your resolve not to click on notices of being tagged in the comments on an article, I have resolved finally to tell the telemarketers and the robo-callers of the world, "I AM NO LONGER GOING TO ANSWER YOUR CALLS!!! I WILL NO LONGER TELL YOU POLITELY THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN BUYING WHATEVER YOU ARE SELLING. TAKE THAT, YOU ABUSIVE SCUM!" (Wow, I feel as though a huge load has been lifted from my shoulders.)24/09/2017 #88 Anonymousto tag or not to tag...I always try to stop and think if this is something someone doesnt mind being tagged in OR I have even gone a step further to ASK before I tag depending on the material I want to share. I think some people just need to be educated...and this post is awesome..May I use parts of it in my next FB basics class? (also a courtesy to ask to use someone's work..which I try very hard to implement at all times. Great post!!!18/09/2017 #86 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#85 You covered tagging extremely well and I share your sentiments @Savvy Raj. I agree, ignoring certain taggers does stop the tagging eventually. I feel guilty ignoring but we shouldn't. Thanks for your well thought out comment!! I will tag on rare occasions (in particular, a live buzz) since those don't seem to get seen too often but even then, I limit my tags to those who are doing live buzzes.18/09/2017 #85 Savvy Raj#83 Tag dont overtag
Tag if you must
Tag with meaning
Tag not to simply accumulate comments
Tag to engage another to converse
Tag another if your buzz mentions them
Tag responsibly and with some articulation.
Tag to direct action but not just attention.
Thank you @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher as usual you speak out the truth and admirably so . You have covered all the angles alright and am certainly glad you did.
Infact a while back I too was tempted to write a few verses on the perils of over tagging And those lines above are from my personal experiences. But thankfully as I stopped responding it gradually stopped . I hardly have the habit of tagging anyone to read my post in the comments section and am surprised to the see extent of tagging in some posts. Certainly understand how bothersome it must have been . There are some posts where I have noticed comments being forced out due to tagging almost everyone. Perhaps there is lurking insecurity or a need to prove their popularity by increasing the number of comments even if all the commenter says is just a thank you for sharing.
Have noticed this trend rising here on Bebee among established buzzers who actually dont need to seek attention because they are all pretty engaging through their writing . To me personally a good buzz speaks to the reader no matter the number of comments for it . But to each his own path . Also comments cannot and must not be coersed but must come from the heart of the commentor. There are times I have been forced to comment out of sheer decency when I would have preferred to wait it out as it clearly is not my field of interest.I prefer to contribute if I have something to add else would rather be simply educated by the buzz in question .18/09/2017 #82 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#80 #81 Thank you @Yolanda Ávila Márquez & @Lisa Vanderburg. I don't mind being tagged on buzzes that are very relevant- I even liked being tagged when people post music videos. But, to date there are still a few who tag me daily and up to 3 times per day. They need to realize if they are good writers, have an audience there is no reason to serial tag people. Don't get me wrong, there are exceptions and those who know me well, also know it's fine to tag me because they write many articles that help to promote beBee. I don't want people to feel they can never tag me. I hope that made sense? Thanks for reading this17/09/2017 #81 Lisa VanderburgAfter reading all the comments as well as the buzz I can see the topic is well covered.
Honestly, I agree there's altogether too much tagging going on. I also think, as I don't represent an 'industry' in any way, I spend far too long reading both buzz and comments when I should be doing other things! Some, like this and a couple of others of late are well worth it, but most just eat up valuable time.
Good buzz @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher - thank you!
- Producer21/09/2016Calling all Misfits, Non-Conformists, and Outliers. It's Hip to Bee SquareI’ve had some conversations lately about coolness. Not as in temperature, but rather in terms of ‘hip’-ness. The conversation has stimulated my ‘opinionator’ and I felt I would share my thoughts… Now, I’ve always thought of myself as...
Comments20/09/2017 #192 Kevin Pashuk#187 Thanks for your comment Ian. I would agree that the level of engagement has changed, and there seems to be an increased amount of the same material you can find on other platforms. There is still some gems, but you have to have the time to sift. I know @Javier 🐝 beBee addressed this in a recent post of his suggesting the type of posts one should, and shouldn't contribute to beBee.19/09/2017 #188 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsI love this buzz. A much needed resurrection.
I will never belong to any group of ‘Influencers’ based on my coolness, but I will not let my value be determined by the number of people who like me.
My value is based on my contributions to the personal and professional relationship I develop on whatever platform I am using.
Let’s not screw it up on beBee.
It is ‘hip’ to Bee-Square.19/09/2017 #187 Ian WeinbergIndeed @Kevin Pashuk even truer now, one year later. The few with whom I have established rapport doesn't warrant a broad interaction on this platform. I've also said pretty much all that I wish to say at this point. Bar a few pieces of relevance, there's not much in the way of innovation, inspiration and unique value. And so I move on ...25/04/2017 #178 Aaron 🐝 SkogenFirst, I don't know how I missed this the first time around, or the second. So I'm sharing to give it a third :-). Enjoyed it!
This was like reading about myself @Kevin Pashuk. As a teen I was a drifter, moving from one group to the next, with very few close friends. The same is true today, yet I have moved from raging introvert to a relatively casual ambivert. Today, I know my closest friends would have my six in any situation and they know I have theirs. We are far from cool, just a few guys with a kinship and a bond of brotherhood that surpasses blood.
Yet, I have developed many relationships here and on other Social Media sites that have really developed into something special as well. I have been absent from Social Media for a few weeks, as life's journey has a way of shifting our focus. Yet while I was away, I have had several people who I have spoken with over time, but have never met face to face, reach out with a phone call or email to check in and make sure I was OK. That, I think, speaks to your sentence "My value is based on my contributions to the personal and professional relationship I develop on whatever platform I am using."
Glad you know you Kevin and love the Bee-Square theme!
- Producer14/09/2017It's a small world after allI train, or more precisely new facilitators come to my workshops to watch and learn. I hope they learn what they should and should not do. Most of the time I hope they see how they should approach the workshop not what they should not do in the...
- ProducerA Heart For Words#DidYouKnow ... that the words that we use matter? Let us have a look at our personal dictionary. Which words do we have there? Words are energy. Think of a prayer. With a prayer we focus our mind on what we want. For example, people that want to...
Comments19/09/2017 #57 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#56 thank you @Yolanda Ávila Márquez will read it, thanks for the invitation!17/09/2017 #56 Yolanda Ávila MárquezTotally agree with your words Liesbeth.
I invite you to read this:
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@yolanda-avila-marquez/muestrame-como-hablas-y-te-dire-como-piensas View moreTotally agree with your words Liesbeth.
I invite you to read this:
Show me how you talk and I'll tell you how you think.
Regards. Close16/09/2017 #55 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#54 my pleasure @Yogesh Sukal16/09/2017 #54 Yogesh SukalWords are like one which we can perceive with our senses and helps us to materialize the subjective experiences.
Thank you for the thought provoking post @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.13/09/2017 #53 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#20 thank you grandfather bee @Lance 🐝 Scoular giggling hugs to Adelaide and Matilda!!!13/09/2017 #52 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#21 the words that are linked to drones are also wonderful thank you @Gabriel Bazzolo13/09/2017 #51 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#22 thank you Imre, so much appreciated.13/09/2017 #50 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#23 my pleasure angel bee @Joanne Gardocki13/09/2017 #49 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#24 key is connection @Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee you master this13/09/2017 #48 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#25 yes, and you apply it too @Sara Jacobovici, you add joy to your words while singing13/09/2017 #47 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#27 Love the way you expressed it @Pascal Derrien thanks!13/09/2017 #46 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#28 awe soul spot on remark, thank you @David B. Grinberg happy day13/09/2017 #45 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#29 agree @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher nobody is perfect, we are all learning13/09/2017 #44 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#30 thank you @Jan 🐝 Barbosa13/09/2017 #43 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#31 Yes, Grammar Goddess and you make words more powerful with your eyes and knowledge, thank you @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess13/09/2017 #42 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#32 Cyndi, that is so true, well said and we must be aware of this, to bless others and ourselves13/09/2017 #41 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#33 thank you, Proma, I love what you brought up, karma is indeed always working.13/09/2017 #40 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#34 @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador could not agree more with you!13/09/2017 #39 Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc.#35 well added @Mohammed A. Jawad truly words of wisdom
- Producer02/09/2017Pairing Repelling CommentsMy shared buzz on LinkedIn invited many comments, some of which took totally different directions than the comments on the original shared buzz on beBee. I mean my buzz titled "Reverse Strategic Thinking". The discussions were highly...
Comments09/09/2017 #179 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#178 You said it beautifully and to the point @Deb 🐝 Helfrich in your comment and this line must be highlighted "is a chance for self-aggrandizement". Social platforms are for interactions that lead to spontaneous self-organizing. All acts negating this definition are undesirable and mostly when platforms are used for expanding self.
You are very wise my friend.09/09/2017 #178 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#175 #176 That is a stellar way to describe the heart of social media communication!!!
"That attempt has to be mutual with openness."
All comment boxes are attached to someone sharing something with an intent. We may not be able to see that intent. But once we've strayed and the author has enlightened us, to continue pretending to not know the intent is malicious.
As is always assuming every comment box is a chance for self-aggrandizement.
These types of people harm the advancement of beBee as the world's meeting place.
For it is only in mutually open communications that we can fix the problems of our world today which we are in dire need of solving.09/09/2017 #177 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeI summed up my thoughts in a new buzz
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/to-be-right-you-have-to-have-someone-to-say-you-are-wrong#c2609/09/2017 #176 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#175 I want first to alert @Harvey Lloyd, @CityVP 🐝 Manjit, @Lisa Vanderburg, @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, @Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA and all my fellow bees to connect with @Asesh Datta for obviously he is a sharpmind.
"But that attempt has to be mutual with openness"- I am preparing a buzz using a new metaphor on how to deal with this issue and I find your comment stimulating and to the point. I shall tag you when I publish.09/09/2017 #175 Asesh Datta@Ali Anani, Simple whether we want accolades or criticism for the actions we perform. There are demerit of too much accolades, which in turn makes us bloated in our thinking process and limits acceptance independent views. Similarly, constructive criticism is a rarity. Appreciating negative remarks may sometime become an audacity to others. Pairing in this circumstances require skill and bent of introspective mind, even when the construction is missing.
Many of the global political problems can be solved if such pairing is attempted. But that attempt has to be mutual with openness. Good post and wish we start locating such pairs and create a new third view as synergy. Regards.06/09/2017 #173 CityVP 🐝 Manjit#168 Hi @Milos Djukic those dastardly people at Youtube would not let the link play in Canada - but this one works here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0AKJMGxwpE View more#168 Hi @Milos Djukic those dastardly people at Youtube would not let the link play in Canada - but this one works here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0AKJMGxwpE - the creative interjection of this song provides another perspective. Perspective glorious perspective I raise my glass to that whenever and where-ever whenever anyone anywhere tickles my perspectives - thank you Milos ! Close06/09/2017 #169 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#163 Kudos to you as well @Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA for laying the four simple rules of behaving while commenting. I truly appreciate your thorough understanding of the issue.
Very rarely we are 100% sure and yet many comments turn to be conclusive in the eyes of the commenter. If so, then we don't need to exchange comments because we know. This is far from the truth. Yes, one person on LI expressed his view that all my buzzes are worthless in his first, and hopefully last, comment. How dare a commenter make such conclusion when he has only read one buzz (and I doubt he read comprehensively). He reminds me if of a similar situation. Give a student one point to draw a straight line!!!
Second- how did he have the courage to say that the hundreds of commenters who had different views than him be all wrong. Either this person is above all of us to see what nobody has seen or he is and I leave the description to the reader.
We need always to leave a crack in the door open. This is possible by saying, I have an alternative idea, how about considering and so on.
You allowed me to vent out some of my feelings dear Jean.05/09/2017 #165 Phil Friedman#164 I agree, @Jerry Fletcher. I've repeated my own position numerous times, and will not do it again. I cannot, however, help observing how many commenters have expressed amazement at the length of this discussion, which stands at nearly 165 comments and replies. Certainly not the longest on beBee, but quite substantial nevertheless. What's ironic, though, is that a number of people have indicated a discomfort with the extended back and forth. Interesting that so many want simply to express their opinions and not be called upon to explain or defend those opinions. But perhaps that's the inherent nature of Social Media. Cheers!05/09/2017 #164 Jerry Fletcher#129 Phil The problem as I see it is the inability of most folks to get through all the emotional hangups they have as well as the inability to see and describe relationships logically based on observation not supposition. Then, too, it is difficult at times not ot get so entangled in your own hypothesis you can't find clarity. Whatever our views, we have to give the good Doctor kudos for sparking commentary!05/09/2017 #163 Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMARegarding negative comments Ali: Personally, I've found something which resonates with me in almost every article or post I've chosen to read. In short, disagreeing or holding another point of view doesn't give any of us the freedom to personally attack the individual who wrote it. While the beliefs, ideas and interests of those whose posts/articles we read aren't necessarily our own, I believe we should all follow these basic rules - 1) Maintain your professionalism; 2) Be respectful and agree to disagree ( as you always do Ali); 3) Speak only for yourself (we have no right to speak for others unless asked to); 4) Speak of the facts (absolutely essential) or use the phrase 'I believe'. Kudos to Dr. Higgi for his comments and also to Tausif Mundrawala.05/09/2017 #160 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#159 Thank you dear @Tausif Mundrawala and I am so glad to read your comments again. The discussions on this buzz are of the highest standards. There shall always be noises, but the overall discussions are overwhelming with their quality. There are comments in this buzz that each one of them deserves to be a buzz on its own. Thank you and I shall not quoit writing. If I fail then at least I learn. How could I stop writing and lose contacts with beautiful souls such as yours.
I send you a special invitation to comment on my buzz of today because it is about a book that our friend published recently. We need your feedback.05/09/2017 #159 Tausif MundrawalaI think instead of posting a negative comment which totally negates the view of a creator of buzz;one can present his/her view or opinion which might defer to the one who penned it. There shouldn't be comments where one would irrelevantly differ with what has been discussed. I agree with Dr. Ali Higgi that you should carry this work of stimulating the thinking of others irrespective of the negative comments. This buzz comes at an opportune time where even I am grappling with the grief of losing a loved one.
Thanks for this wonderful buzz once again, Sir @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee
- Producer17/08/2017Before Commenting, Try Reading the Whole StoryLogical thinking tells us that everybody reads the actual article before posting a comment, right? Wrong! You would think so. However, every day I see people on social media who jump straight to the comment section and start sounding off, without...
Comments08/09/2017 #48 Yolanda Ávila MárquezI agree @John White, MBA
An interesting measure:
Best regards20/08/2017 #47 Renée 🐝 CormierDepending on who is writing, I sometimes find the comments more interesting than the article. I guess the trick is to find a way to engage with people in a positive way, even if they clearly didn't read your post. Don't take it personally. Our lives are all about gathering quick hits of information these days. Bullet points, listicles, one minute videos and short comments are the order of the day.20/08/2017 #46 Ken BoddieA masterful dummy spit, John, and thanks to the recently 'hatted' @Kevin Pashuk for tagging me. I feel compelled then to go off on a tangent of invalidity and provide a fact lacking comment prompted by Kev's earlier post and comment. It has come to my attention that one of the more practical uses for Vegemite is to place it behind the ears when walking through tree sheltered areas here in Oz. This is the most effective protection that the individual can confidently wear against the dreaded 'drop bear', which perches in selected eucalypts, and has a preference for preying on tourists.19/08/2017 #45 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorGood points @John White, MBA. I agree with @Jim Murray there are too many posts to deal with. I try to keep the number of posts I read at a realistic level so I can enjoy the read, find the takeaway, and comment if I choose to. I don't comment on every article I read and to leave a "nice post" comment can seem rather shallow.
With that said, it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy what I read, I just don't have anything relevant to say. I would rather not leave a comment than to not read a post in its entirety and then attempt to leave a comment. That doesn't make good sense.
Lengthy posts, with long sentences and long paragraphs, lose my attention. If a post is long, then adding images, bold type, bullet points, etc. make reading much easier on the eyes and the brain.
I have shared posts that I have scanned because the title is interesting, for example, "how to build a car". I don't care about the subject but someone might benefit from it.
Nice post, good read, well done, you nailed it, spot on, shared, very nice, excellent, outstanding, and happy reading. 😎19/08/2017 #44 Phil Friedman#43 Crimey! And I thought only the Spamish generated that here. If the Australians do as well, what about @Brian McKenzie, who probably adores fried eggs and spam for breakfast. (You see, @John White, MBA, writing irrelevant comments ain't so easy andshould be left to those who can.)19/08/2017 #40 AnonymousHmm...just had a thought (ouch..and yes, it kinda hurt! LOL)
It may be good idea that if one has a point to make, and posting on certain soc media platforms, they make the first few sentences the spoiler ..that may (or may not) work to get your msg out. People are on a fast track it instant: instant info, instant pudding, instant coffee...etc... And hence, ,miss understandings commence...19/08/2017 #39 Joyce RedlonI do agree and I'm ashamed to admit it but I do not always read an article in it's entirety. When I was working full time, raising children and completing my master's I developed the habit of scanning material for the basic points to conserve time! No excuses though and I thank you for reminding me and others that we must read it before we can comment on it. Same principle as voting. If you don't vote you can't complain.19/08/2017 #38 xx xxIf I wish to convey meaning, I must decide what level of description or resolution I can consider sufficient. Truth, in my opinion, contains the least amount of dynamic association within any particular description and I am not able to completely control the amount of fluctuation the recipient will encounter as the levels of description increase and the recipients ability to visualize the picture I have attempted to construct decrease.
In other words any information given is different then the information received.
If the title is hyper-sensationalized, you will get a lot more comments. Some people do this on purpose.
Some people love drama, writers and readers.19/08/2017 #37 Kevin PashukI think this topic should be pinned to the top of every hive John. I too loved the NPR email and did a version of it here in beBee by having those who actually read the article somehow work the word 'vegemite' into their response (in honour of @Ken Boddie View moreI think this topic should be pinned to the top of every hive John. I too loved the NPR email and did a version of it here in beBee by having those who actually read the article somehow work the word 'vegemite' into their response (in honour of @Ken Boddie.). The results were predictable and highly entertaining, but unfortunately it validates the points you raise in this post. Close19/08/2017 #36 Jim MurrayI can see you have managed to bring out a number of smart-asses in your comment stream. (which I love).
Your point is well taken and personally I think there are two root causes.
1. Too many posts to deal with. So people skim and something catchers their eye and they read it, take some sort of issue with it and throw up a comment, mostly out of context.
And 2. Bad writing. Most people ( re 80/20 Differential) don't actually know how to write a blog post that engages readers and carries them along. Ergo, people skim etc.
I personally avoid posts that are written in long paragraphs because my experience has been that these tend, more often than not to ramble off topic. I also avoid poorly formatted posts, because they scream 'Bush League Content'. Except for @Phil Friedman, who doesn't appear to have mastered the art of paragraph spacing yet. :)
Our mutual friend @Renée 🐝 Cormier had a great meme about hiring professionals to help you with content. If more people did that, they would achieve much better results. But it is what is is and what it is is mostly kinda sad.
My bottom line point is that bad writing inspires weird comments. Good writing inspires good engagement and dialogue.18/08/2017 #35 Iris Chen@John White, MBA I agree. Sometimes, it is also a tactic of net-army. The leaders provide his/her members (often 5vers for hire) with a pre-written statement , or meme, to bombard a target's article or social media site. The "pinky" or "pinko" first show their power around January 2016, using VPN to climb the China fire wall, and leave comments on Facebook articles associated with Taiwan's presidential election.18/08/2017 #33 Lada 🏡 PrkicYes, I agree with all your points, @John White, MBA. You're right, many people comment based only on other people's opinion in the thread, without reading the article. I noticed this many times while reading @Phil Friedman's posts. But, what particularly bothers me, more than comments with invalid points and lack of understanding, are comments like "Nice share, enjoyed read and shared." as well as the one-word comments. I concur with @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee that comments are meant to enrich, not flatter.
I've read your article on Huff Post, too. :-)18/08/2017 #30 Vincent 🐝 ManlapazThanks for sharing John. It dismays me to think that few people will just leave a comment without reading the entire article/post. What's their motivation after all? Time is important so why waste it, right? It was a bit unusual though but I think this question of yours give clarity - Do people think they already know everything so they don’t even need to bother reading the content?18/08/2017 #29 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeYou are very correct @John White, MBA . I read sometimes same comment by same bee on a variety of buzzes "Lovely, enjoyed reading and shared it". There is a hidden barter deal I share yours so that you may share mine. If I don't share the enjoyment and sharing by the bee disappears. I understand that some buzzes are too lengthy. May be in that case I would read a minimum of 80% of the buzz before I may comment. In other cases I may not only read the buzz, but also most of comments before I comment.
Comments are meant to enrich and not flatter. They are supposed to create possibilities, new thinking, revision of ones' beliefs, and to teach.
In a comment an author made a comment saying that he remembers from thirty years ago he read something that refutes my buzz. No reference, and one that is 30 years old. When I responded with modern findings and links the response was you I am wrong and should read more. This was incredible. I wonder who needs to read more.
Yes, comments are responsibility. I touched upon this subject in a presentation that I wrote on "Comments with no moments":
- Producer12/08/2017Customer Service or Disservice I went to a restaurant for breakfast this morning, and was promptly seated in a booth with a menu, then was told "Your waitress will be with you shortly." This is where the story begins, and the service ends.I had arrived at 8:45am, greeted when I...
Comments13/08/2017 #24 Aleta CurryI remember from my very first 'start your own business' type class, the instructor used bad restaurant service as an example and said patrons would just walk out and not come back, not tell you about it but tell other folks, and you would never know about it and never know why.
Thanks for the timely reminder, @Lance.13/08/2017 #21 Lance 🐝 Smith#16 @Sandra Smith one thing that really fascinates me is cultural differences. I had some friends go to either Guatamala or India, and said that the culture is defiantly different in aspect, because you have to wait for stuff like food. In the US it's GO GO GO FAST FAST FAST NOW NOW NOW a lot of the time. Else where, I know it's not like that. Of course even in a lot of the US it's not exactly like that, but there is still this notion things should be quick. Haha13/08/2017 #20 Lance 🐝 Smith#15 @Lisa Vanderburg oh wow!!! I was getting really interested and wanted to read the blog, sad you took it down. It's good you reported the situation though. There are a ton of scams out in the world, and if you can spot them early it's best. Crazy you got a death threat from it. Wow!!! Stay safe!13/08/2017 #19 Lance 🐝 Smith#14 @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher Thanks!! I've heard horror stories like that too haha. I sometimes don't see he point in making a scene, I have plenty of other options of places to go, so I went somewhere else that I knew I'd be helped. It's tough in those environments when you're understaffed. Typically the people at a restaurant are doing he best they can, probably working through college typically, and cannot help that they are understaffed. I've been in situations similar elsewhere, so I have empathy for them.13/08/2017 #17 Lance 🐝 Smith#11 @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador For me, the keeping contact part is right on the money. Even if someone who isn't your server is near by, they should check on you if they noticed you sitting for a while. I did file a complaint which goes to their manager, rather than make a scene in the restaurant. It also helps that I'm pretty easy going haha13/08/2017 #15 Lisa VanderburgAs a retired Chef and Restaurateur, you are absolutely correct @Lance 🐝 Smith: the customer's always right. It's most definitely the manager's fault and he'll probably can the server allotted to that section. A lot of restaurants work like this; our didn't.
I'm more curious about Robert Cialdini's Pluralistic Ignorance & looked it up. Not that long ago I reported a potential criminal act that no one wanted to know about; so much so I actually wrote a buzz about it, complete with the alleged embezzler and the fraud report. Most responses were basically to say 'it's a scam...it's your own fault.' I wasn't scammed, I was trying to point out just how difficult it is to report a crime that has not happened as yet. I was playful in my buzz saying 'I shouldn't play with my food.' #14 @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher commented very sweetly on it, knowing I'm a bit of an imp. After 2 weeks, I took it down. Upshot: I've received a death threat: now the police are interested! Tsk...doing the right thing ain't easy!13/08/2017 #14 Lisa 🐝 GallagherYou are much more patient that I am. However, I like the way you handled it. Honestly, I have heard horror stories if people complain in Restaurants that in many cases are under staffed. My daughter worked in a few during her HS years and she would tell me that some of the people actually did spit on customer's food before bringing it out. You pulled a win/win... kept your composure, had a great meal elsewhere and still managed to file a complaint.13/08/2017 #11 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorEven if the menu is still open, the server should have kept contact with the customer, even if to say "I'll be right with you". I also agree with @jim cody that a manager should be alerted about the poor service.
We also alert a manager when there is good service. It helps all involved.13/08/2017 #9 Lance 🐝 Smith#3 @David B. Grinberg I appreciate sharing it out! I work in customer service, as does everyone else really, and so these kinds of things come across my mind a lot when I go places. I try to have no expectations that anyone would deliver like I would, but I still do end up holding expectations anyways.13/08/2017 #8 Lance 🐝 Smith#2 @Phil Friedman thanks for taking the time to read! I never knew that, but there was a majority of time with the menu closed in front of me. I did not know that was etiquette, or I would have put that detail in the blog. Thanks for pointing that out. There was a point when it kind of became an experiment of seeing how long it would take for someone to service me. I'm a pretty laid back, chill person, but it really just sparked me thinking about how other people would have reacted. Not everyone is as chill as I am when it comes to such circumstances haha13/08/2017 #7 Jim Cody 🐝 Brand AmbassadorLance I’ve been in such situations quite a few times but never leaving without talking to the manager. The manager needs to know the situation. I just don’t have the patience to wait anymore. Most of life has passed and I’m usually hungry when I show up in a restaurant, so fir those two reasons I refuse to wait. Buzz on.
- Producer08/08/2017How to get the most out of beBee featuresI do not have the inside scoop on the beBee algorithm(s), so I can’t tell you what will boost you on the beBee radar, but I think it’s safe to say that the more you interface with the project and its people, the more growth you’ll see in terms of...
Comments11/08/2017 #21 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#8 No @Chas ✌️ Wyatt, but they might mistake you for Lt. Dan.
@Aleta Curry: Re algorithms: As far as I know, there aren't any. At least none for the platform. We have helpers like the #buzzBebee or buzz @beBee when a post crosses 20 Relevants and 5 Comments (Like this one) That will make beBee share a post on their social media accounts. Also, there's an email that goes out with posts from people you follow. Apart from those two, you get the exposure you earn.
There's no throttling, only full organic reach.11/08/2017 #20 Lisa 🐝 GallagherExcellent tips @Aleta Curry. I ditto @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador comment. And, if they are following tons of people yet have never produced any buzzes... I won't follow those either. I sound like I'm being ultra selective, I'm really not. I have to say many times those I choose not to follow end up being fake profiles and gone within a few days. It seems beBee is quick to pick up on the fake profiles. :))09/08/2017 #17 Aleta Curry#16 I agree with you, @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, although I do tend to cut people some slack if they've got *something* in that photobox (she of the glass figurine can't be too pernickety - hear that, @Ken Boddie?) I do need background info, though.08/08/2017 #14 Tausif MundrawalaYou reminded me of the day when we both got connected. The poem which was a delight to the eyes of founder of The Antiques company allows me to take pride of our friendship.
For me beBee has been an open university where we get to reflect upon great pieces on great topics penned by our intellectual bees. I love this platform to an extent where I can't think a day without it. Wherever I am, I always make it a point to carry my handset and always be logged in with beBee. I agree with you on all aspects especially about comments as It reflects our personality well.
I am glad that you shared this buzz with us, my friend, @Aleta Curry08/08/2017 #9 Ken BoddieThe one thing you forgot, Aleta, is to advise newBees to add a good head shot, particularly if they've got good teeth and a winning smile (guess that rules me out then). Nothing worse than hiding behind an abstract absurdity, which can be a huge turnoff for prospective 'followers', unless you are in the antiques business and have a handy pic of a Madonna statuette? 🤣08/08/2017 #7 Javier 🐝 beBee@Aleta Curry great advise here! thanks
Write and post. This is important.
"People need to know who you are and what you like to talk about. It will encourage them to follow you. Keep in mind that when a Bee clicks on ‘buzzes’, beBee presents your last few posts in reverse chronological order. So avoid a string of mediocre shares that might lead a person to believe that you haven’t an original thought in your head. Check your feed fairly often and make sure it’s diverse."08/08/2017 #3 Deb 🐝 HelfrichYou made me giggle, @Aleta Curry. A memory from long ago surfaced. One spring break, on holiday, I was maybe around 9, I was playing around with some other kids on the beach and it was windy - so a loud surf and someone kept asking me my name and after around 4 times, I shouted - Dynamic Energetic Brilliant = DEB - Glad to learn someone else has a list of Admirable and Awesome adjectives that they've associated with their name!!!
- Producer12/07/2017Wednesday Words: Are You "Shoulding" All Over Everyone?I am republishing this post that I originally created in October 2015 thanks to a post I read that Edward Lewellen just wrote (and that Sarah Elkins tagged me in). *****Language is meant to help us humans communicate, but sometimes even with our...
Comments12/07/2017 #23 Lisa Vanderburg#19 I have found...(a sage way of introduction), that eye-balls work..at times. I KNOW that I can incinerate people with my eye-balls, yet it doesn't stop the sweetest old dude or dudette from telling me their woes. Not that I mind - just interferes with my self-image :)
You're a doll! X12/07/2017 #21 Sarah Elkins#3 Not so sure about the gender thing, @Phil Friedman and @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess; it could be a generational thing, though I've met some women older than I am who would have said exactly what Phil said! https://www.bebee.com/producer/@sarah-elkins/never-underestimate-your-customer12/07/2017 #20 Aaron 🐝 SkogenWhen I first read this (I think it was on LI), I made a conscious effort NOT to use "should" with my kids. I had always tried to avoid it, yet I found myself slipping it into conversation when I was frustrated. Then I decided to eliminate it, and its made a world of difference! So here is my hearty Cheers to you @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess, and Thank You for re-posting!12/07/2017 #19 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess@Lisa Vanderburg, we weren't connected, but I just followed you so we are.
I think we all get a rise when we see someone do something wrong that we notice because we're experts in that area. I will never argue that the guy was wrong about the oil; he was RIGHT! My only gripe was his inability to rein in his frustration knowing that I'd really hurt my car (fresh oil is necessary) and to find a way to approach me that didn't demean me.
I know that when I read articles by someone who says he or she is a published author (or even worse, an editor / copyeditor / proofreader) -- and I find glaring goofs -- I wince. But at least the writer can't see that online. Phew!
At one lunchtime face-to-face networking meeting, there are a couple of writers who pass around their latest whatever. One is pretty darn good. The other? Not so much. I work HARD to not show my . . . frustration, knowing that the poor writer is killing his chances of anyone taking him seriously. And yes. He knows what I do.
By the way -- many thanks for that compliment. Much appreciated!12/07/2017 #15 Lisa Vanderburg#14 Hey @Susan Rooks...damn...won't highlight!
I'm (also) a 'wimmin-what-does' so I totally get where you're coming from! Anyone who is selling a necessity has a 'tude....why is that? It's a tiny acidic dollop of momentary superiority that they get in their lives. A moment where they think berating is a gesture of competence. We all see it everywhere, but I have to encourage you - your writing is pure pleasure to read! Oh...and, stuff them!12/07/2017 #12 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess#7 Thanks for the story, @Cyndi wilkins, and the second comment as well. Yeah. it'll probably be like that for a long time to come. But the more we can see how to help someone else learn from an error and not hate us for it -- the better off we'll all be.12/07/2017 #8 Cyndi wilkinsI had a similar situation happen years ago when bringing my car in for service...Now keep in mind this place was a muffler shop, so I wasn't sure of their 'scope of practice' shall we say...but I went there because my dad knew the owner of the station and was a very lucrative customer, as dad assumed responsibility for the maintenance of all the police cruisers in his department...Let's just say the guy had a great gig here.
At his suggestion, I brought in a list of some repairs I needed to have done to see if perhaps this guy employed the mechanics capable of doing the repairs...You know....keep it in the family;-) Anyway, the guy has no idea (AT FIRST) who I am when I walk in with my list...I ask shop guy if they service anything other than mufflers and he gives me a dirty look with a snarky..."Yes, of course we do."
Duh...Ok...I wasn't sure...your sign says muffler shop...so I present him with my list...he snaps it out of my hand and shoves it back across the counter at me and says..."This is a very unintelligent way of doing this." Now the waiting area is full of people...some of which I knew as I was a mail carrier in this area at the time and was in uniform...To say it was embarrassing is an understatement.
The long and short of it is...this guy catches a glimpse of my name at the top of the stationery...Now he looks sick to his stomach...I said not another word when he began back peddling...and you guessed it...The guy lost a great gig because of his 'unintelligent customer service' Fried that bridge to the ground.12/07/2017 #7 Cyndi wilkinsHuge lesson here for anyone, but especially for those in business for themselves @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess...Unfortunately, I think this guy's attitude is typical in that setting...and you can bet your boots he would not have had the 'brass ones' to say that to another guy;-)12/07/2017 #4 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorNice one @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess, and glad you republished! I wish I could be more like @Phil Friedman but I was raised to be "nice" as well, which sometimes is not in my best interest. However, I do my voice my opinion and coat it with sugar. I've walked out of many situations where the employees were rude with a smile on my face because I "nicely" told them to shove it.
- Producer10/07/2017Netiquette: The Forgotten ArtNetiquette = net (as in internet) + etiquetteNetiquette is a collection of unwritten rules of engagement when interacting on-line. These rules have existed since the dawn of the Internet age. Some of them go back to bulletin boards. I notice a new...
Comments12/07/2017 #14 Shelley Brown@Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA this is a great buzz. I work from home and I don't know if this qualifies for innetiquette however; I don't see my colleagues and it would be nice if emails didn't feel like bombs with no "hellos" and "thank you", there just seems to be no comment courtesy. Thanks for writing this.11/07/2017 #11 Cyndi wilkins#4 Absolutely love this analogy Harvey..."My motto is always, would I speak to my mother this way in person while my dad was in reaching distance." I'm sure there are quite a few 'Nooooooooo waaaaaze" my friend in that crowd!
Look...I think it's a wonderful thing to have a self-publishing platform...especially for those who would otherwise have no opportunity to give voice to their thoughts...Not everyone is a novelist...but for cryin' out loud, cut people some slack. I'm all for a good discussion, and certainly not everyone will agree...that's cool...it's the nature of effective conversation. I just draw the line at public humiliation....Of course, it's done disguised as higher intelligence...and that maybe so...but don't stomp on the 'little guy' just because you can...Now I don't know about your dad, but I would have received a good crack upside the old noggin' for mouthing off to my mother...and that goes for being rude to anyone else as well:-)11/07/2017 #7 Phil Friedman@Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA > "Thou shalt not hijack threads or discussions in groups and forums."
Well said, Anne. Too many users these days think of the discussion thread on a post as a common, completely open forum for discussing whatever pops into their (mostly empty) minds. The discussion or comments thread on a post is for discussing the topic of the post, with some latitude for raising ancillary issues. If you want to discuss a different topic, publish your own post.
Good advice here. Cheers!11/07/2017 #6 Vega 🐝 Gómez HernándezCongrats for the buzz @Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA. In Spanish we say that "common sense is the less common of the senses". I don't know if you have that sentence in English, but you've expressed and exemplified it so well that I'm convinced. Nice to read you! :D10/07/2017 #4 Harvey LloydUnfortunately Netiquette is very similar to road rage, in that when typing on a computer its impersonal much like driving your car and flipping someone off. Many folks do things behind the screen they would never do in public. My motto is always, would i speak to my mother this way in person while my dad was in reaching distance.
Sounds corny but does let me know when i am flexing my keyboard muscles instead of my brain.
- Producer24/06/2017A Story About My Friend, Phil FriedmanI have made a lot of friends over the years, in the advertising business, in my consulting business and on line as well.One of the best online friends I have is a guy named Phil Friedman. We met back on LinkedIn, before life went to hell for writers...
Comments25/06/2017 #18 Phil Friedman#16 Just to be clear, Peter, my personal position has always been (and always will be) that everyone has a right to express him or herself. However, at the same time, nobody is obligated to read or listen or pay attention to what that person has to say.
Moreover, while I've never objected to being the target of on-point criticism, I firmly believe that an author's post should not be an open forum in the sense that anyone can post anything in the comments thread of another author's post. For that is like requiring a magazine to provide space for just anybody to publicize whatever they want.
My feeling is that if you feel strongly about a particular post being wrong, publish your own piece saying so. Then take your chances on whether anyone will pay attention. Don't try to springboard on the established readership of the author whom you're criticizing. Or push some other agenda which you may have.
Just saying. Cheers!25/06/2017 #17 Jerry FletcherJim, Way to weigh in! That's what friends are for! I, for one, have endeavored not to let the negatrons get to me. It is nice to see to see two guys I admire have each others backs. And to see Javier react as well. There is enough inadvertent disagreement in the world without having to put up with intentional malevolence. We may not always agree but how we disagree is what makes a difference. Calm, rational discussion usually leads to both sides learning and modifying their viewpoint. Nobody gets anywhere when a conversation becomes character assassination.25/06/2017 #16 Peter AltschulerTrolling is a problem that needs constant attention, Jim, and you've given it appropriate exposure. That's worth doing on its own and laudable in the context of @Phil Friedman. While social sites are often interesting because they're open forums, it may be time to vet the participants or, at the very least, let authors set up temporary barriers to block the invective.25/06/2017 #15 Pascal DerrienRight on the button @Jim Murray . What I like about Phil (@Phil Friedman) is that he is discreet supporter of many and does not have the need to over publicize his actions in that domain, he is sometimes misunderstood for some reasons that do escape me but he is one the best of us...... :-)25/06/2017 #13 Phil Friedman#4 Jim, this is just about the nicest, most decent thing anyone outside my immediate family has ever done for me. Not only because of the overly kind things that you say about me but because it takes real care and sizable cajones to speak out in these circumstances. And I appreciate it more than I can express. My thanks also go out to all the others who have posted their support here and elsewhere on beBee and earlier on LinkedIn.
Being stalked by "the troll" goes back more than three years to my publishing on LinkedIn. I lost count of the number of times he challenged my authenticity and implied or even stated outright that there was no support for the things I said about my background and experience or the things I do in my core business. Never mind that all of those claims are well documented in photo-illustrated portfolios on my LinkedIn profile. And never mind that my LI profile includes a half dozen letters of recommendation from prominent marine industry people with whom I've work, for whom I've worked, and who have worked for me. Real people with verifiable identities who can be found and reached (even on LinkedIn) as queried as to the authenticity of the recommendations. https://www.linkedin.com/in/friedmanphil/
It didn't matter that I pointed this out to "the troll" at least a couple dozen times over the years. As it did not matter that, when he challenged my claim to have published more than 1,000 print and digital articles in magazines and on the web, I responded with verifiable documentation of the claim. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/i-ll-show-you-mine-then-you-show-me-yours
... cont. pt. II25/06/2017 #12 Phil Friedman#4 Jim - pt. II.
No, he continued to attempt to despoil my posts and my business reputation with unsupported claims and vague innuendo. Indeed, when I once called him on not speaking to the point of one of my pieces, he proudly informed me that he never read anyone's article and rarely even read through the comment thread, but commented based on the last comment that caught his eye. And he gleefully bragged that none of it was worth his time -- never seeing the irony of what he was saying, given he stalked my profile almost every day to see where my posts were appearing.
The hardest part of all of it was that when, from time to time, I had it up to "here" and I responded with a sharp tongue, I would be labeled by some who were not aware of the circumstances, as being negative and disagreeable. And when I simply ignored his mean-spirited, disingenuous comments, other labeled me as haughty and exclusionary. Which is why I appreciate so much your stepping forward to set the record straight. Thank you again, my friend.24/06/2017 #10 David B. GrinbergKudos on this post, Jim, I couldn't agree more with your characterization of @Phil Friedman. I likewise became acquainted with Phil's talents in the so-called "Lumpy Kingdom" and we quickly developed a professional networking relationship. I admire Phil for all of the reasons you mentioned. Most importantly, IMHO, Phil always speaks his mind and speaks "truth to power" as they say. He's not afraid to be blunt and, like an umpire, call it as he sees it. This sometimes can rub some people the wrong way. However, I've always found Phil to engage with the utmost of civil discourse, honesty and integrity.
Moreover, many historians and others of high intellect equate one aspect of true leadership with telling people what they DON'T want to hear. In short, Phil is an exemplary individual, and expert writer, and a man of the highest integrity. He is a role model who deserves accolades. Thus, I tip my hat to Phil because even when we strongly disagree on the issues, we both do so in a respectful manner that showcases the best of civil discourse in a social media space that is too often toxic.
Finally, any professional writer learns quickly that you can't have "thin skin" in this field. However, when one's reputation is directly challenged or tarnished, and their veracity questioned, then it's "no holds barred" in defending oneself and correcting the record. I admire the fact that Phil does not back down, back off, of give in to trolls. He fights for what he believes is right in good conscience and with facts. He is indeed an honorable and admirable person whom I am proud to call my friend.24/06/2017 #8 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador@Jim Murray, this is a great way to show how a friendship works. I started following you and @Phil Friedman back in the good old days at LI because I appreciate good writers. You and Phil have different styles of writing but there is one common denominator and that is being authentic. Keep up the good work, guys.
Thanks for explaining the whole story, Jim. I spotted the trouble right away and made my pitch using my own experience as an example. Stay strong, Phil. You have a lot of friends in your corner.24/06/2017 #7 Pamela 🐝 WilliamsThat troll 'followed' me and I followed back because I was waiting for the outbreak of trollness. Not surprised it appeared, though I missed the actual attack. Uncalled for!
You're right: Phil's inteligence is unquestionable, his writing skills exemplary. We've butted heads ourselves but I felt no need to 'troll' him, Agree to disagree and move on.
Good to read your words again Jim, I've missed them. I've learned a few hard lessons in these 'missing' few months and they are that I have to see beyond the superficial, I need to find the true character of the people because the harm that comes from blinding yourself to other's true intent is untold hurt. Your words for your friend are truly touching.
And good for Javier! He and his team have always protected their bees well.24/06/2017 #5 Charlene NormanAnd this entire thread with the two stories by two fine writers more than adequately demonstrates the love-hate relationship I have with social media and the two-edged sword that damn tool has. While I really do believe that only 2% of the population is certified loopy, they are truly s$#%$#%t disturbers for the sane. You are so very lucky @Phil Friedman to have so many good folks in your corner.
- Producer14/06/2017THANK YOU beBeeI only noticed the other day that I've been promoted to VIP status. So as a way of celebrating, I thought I would express the positives in being part of beBee for the last year. beBee gave me an appetite for bloggingbeBee is 100% responsible for my...
Comments15/06/2017 #40 Nic Fester#33 Thanks Javier! Thanks for putting up with a bee like me! I've been controversial at times, but I'm passionate about certain topics. One of those being social interaction. I'm still learning my way through multicultural interaction on a platform like this one. My heart will always be one of redemption. I will do my best to keep my honey sweet!15/06/2017 #36 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsHi @Nic Fester Congratulations and welcome to the Why beBee hive. That's where I spotted this buzz and on twitter even before we connected. That's how awesome is the outreach of our posts :) You've beautifully listed the reasons many of us are on beBee. Happy to follow you. Stay awesome and keep buzzing #beBeesforever14/06/2017 #33 Javier 🐝 beBee@Nic Fester BEEautiful words.
Thank you. I love this paragraph
"beBee is 100% responsible for my enthusiasm for blogging. I have loved the engagement. Not for one moment have I ever felt like I'm blogging in the wilderness. I have experienced proper engagement on this platform. I for the most part have loved the reality of connecting with people from across the globe on a wide scope of topics. All I can say is that I've been enriched on many levels. "14/06/2017 #32 Irene 🐝 Rodriguez EscolarCongratulations, I share your feelings, immensely grateful and clear that can help. Tell us. GIVE VOICE to South Africa. (Please excuse me if my words do not fit, I use the translator) Thank you @Juan Imaz View moreCongratulations, I share your feelings, immensely grateful and clear that can help. Tell us. GIVE VOICE to South Africa. (Please excuse me if my words do not fit, I use the translator) Thank you @Juan Imaz, for sharing it and making wonderful articles come to us like this.
Let's keep the buzzing for Sudafrica. Vamoooooosss!! Close
- Producer09/06/2017THE ART OF SAYING "NO!"Let you imagine something very uncomfortable, for instance, one of your very best friends asking you a favor. The moment you hear the favor, deep in your heart you scream "no"! But s/he is your best friend and made you also many many favors in...
Comments09/07/2017 #15 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI am a living embodiment of what is said here because I began my life in a state of extreme protection. I never understood why I was protected or what from but I learned not to say NO. Now had I at that time learned to say NO, I would have been a damaged human being rather than a human being living in a bubble of protection. So it is not simple as saying NO but assessing the wisdom contextually. Understand the context and what seems wrong is under some contexts what was right.
Had I said NO when I was younger and escaped this protection, I would have walked into the same fire other people did, which was right into the hands of the major gangs in our town. I was not brought up in a middle class home with natural protections of middle class existence - I am extremely thankful for that protection because that allowed me to recognize in retrospect just how lucky I had been.
Now just because someone has been in that bubble of protection does not erase their natural intelligence. If had been utterly simplistic to the point of being stupid about life I would not have come to a point where I learned the power of saying NO - but without betraying my past and a mother fiercely protective of her children. To this I say forever thank you Mom.
That being said I also became self-aware enough to know the downside of living in a bubble, that when one is not touched by the hard stones and knives of reality, there is a blissful ignorance of life as it for many people. In that regard I do identify with the story of Buddha who came out of his protected state and was shocked to the core of his bones when he saw reality first-hand. That led to him exploring how to end suffering. Of course I am not Buddha, but here I accept the meaning of "NO".10/06/2017 #13 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorAn important subject to tackle and well-written post, @Victoria Toumit. Sometimes, it is difficult to say no for various reasons. We get caught up in situations we don't like nor do we have time for because we can't say no. Perhaps, we don't want to hurt another person's feelings or we feel sorry for them and we give in to their request. Too many situations can foster angry feelings and damage relationships.10/06/2017 #11 Lance 🐝 ScoularWell put Victoria.
While you put it in the context of personal relationships, the importance of being able to say no applies in our work, professional and involvement in not-for-profit, causes or religious organisations.
The reasons can vary but can particularly relate to being over commited with our time on other responsibilities or unwarented high expectations of others.
Often in these cases, it is some thing we actually want to do, yet if we say yes, it will impact other activities with a higher priority or impact.10/06/2017 #8 stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador#2If the type of content you want to save is mostly reading the material, then your best bet is to use one of the reads it later services like Readability or Pocket that support tagging. Both services have browser extensions (Readability, Pocket) that allow you to quickly save links, and the next step is organization.10/06/2017 #6 stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand AmbassadorCC @Javier 🐝 beBee , @John White, MBA and @Juan Imaz. Victoria wrote a good piece here about authenticity and the power to say No..sometimes. It deserves a share if you think it met the quality content criterium..Up to you guys. For my part, I am gonna Facebook It and Tweet!
Sometimes, just take a deep breath, say why and end by this is why is say No..or to be politically correct..why you decline for today the favor you have been asked for. If they insist because of many reasons...say you are not the appropriate person and point someone they despite or you despite. For the no receiver, it helps him or her to grow,
- ProducerUnderstanding Social NetworksWe fair better and worse off because of our connection with others. For many of us, the effects of social-emotional contagion often cause us to behave like the average of the five people around us. The more we are able realize and connect...
Comments22/05/2017 #2 Tausif MundrawalaWonderfully penned and the topic of emotional intelligence was put forth intellectually. We humans can connect well if we have gone through same experiences. In fact, the most experienced one can help the one who is still grappling with the situation. Thanks for sharing this buzz with us, @Phil 🐝 Johnson, MBL and Brand Ambassador @beBee
- Producer06/05/2017Just a short note: When creeps become critics.Phil Friedman mentioned something in a post not long ago. I'm paraphrasing here (forgive me, Phil). He was saying that he got into trouble responding to comments where the remarks were, let's say, acerbic. He replied in kind and got all kinds of...
Comments07/05/2017 #28 Phil FriedmanThanks, Robert, for the shout out -- I think.
I have never had any aspirations to become the Poster Boy of Retribution Retorts, but as I am wont to say, "If the shoe fits, wear it." :-)
I can only speak to what I do and have done. Which was for a while counter-punch at the same level as the original attack by whatever Troll or other mean-spirited commenters who chose to come onto my post with a remark. And yes, that often earned me criticisms for being so "mean" to the people who commented, never mind how nasty or offensive they were in the first place.
Eventually, I developed a policy to not respond at all, but to completely ignore such comments. Indeed, I even went so far as to publicly announce that personal policy. But when I implemented that policy to a reasonable level of consistency, I was then criticized for seeking to "exclude" the bullies from the conversation -- never mind how obnoxious or arrogant or mean were their remarks. BTW, this is not a complaint, but rather a statement of fact, made because you asked.
What has struck me is how ready are those who preach passivity in these matters to turn on the target of nasty or arrogant comments when that target has the "temerity" to reply in kind. And I've dubbed the phenomenon "aggressive passivity".
Thanks for raising the issue. And BTW, I'd suggest next time referring to the guy as "the orifice in the hind end of a donkey." Cheers!07/05/2017 #25 Robert CormackAs I mentioned to Fatima, @Todd Jones, it's good advice. I'll follow it from now on. Thanks for your interest in "Horse." If you get a chance (and still like the book at the end) please post a review. It works wonders for us writers. So many people have had their reviews rejected because they wrote "Cormack brings stiffies to the forefront of our vernacular." Seems Amazon's sensitivity readers don't like the word (or its implications in terms of vernacular).#2407/05/2017 #24 Todd JonesI'm with @🐝 Fatima G. Williams on this one. To paraphrase Churchill, "If you take time to throw stones at every barking dog along your journey, you will never reach your destination."
By the way, yesterday I bought the audio version of "You Can Lead a Horse..." from audible.com. I'm a few chapters in, and give it two thumbs up. Great work that speaks for itself (literally in this case). Perhaps the best response to these detractors would be to simply send them a copy of your book.07/05/2017 #22 Praveen Raj GullepalliDear Bob, i think it is just fine as long as we are shooting blanks at each other ;) But yes you have touched upon a very valid point. If you can't turn the other cheek you may very well perform a nose tweak...on the other person! ;) Besides increasing engagement, it would at least help define (and reveal) some personalities who otherwise would remain hidden from view.07/05/2017 #18 Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SADiplomacy was once defined as "the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a manner that they look forward to the trip". Might well apply in the scenario outlined. Generally a good approach is to react in the opposite spirit. Otherwise take a deep breath and a step back and refrain from commenting. @🐝 Fatima G. Williams is spot on about the barking analogy imo.
Respectfully Yours+ 100 buzzes
Respect others as you wish to be respected. This hive is to bring awareness to the balance between social etiquette and personal expression. Let's share our ideas on commenting and meaningful conversation. To be a beBee is to be.