- Producer20/10/2016Trolls: Just Like Cockroaches But Much Easier To Control This is the second part of what very much appears to be becoming a series of op/ed blogging. “For bloggers, especially those who actually have an opinion about things, trolls are kind of like notches on the handle of your gun.”MeI have had a couple...
Comments20/10/2016 #9 Jim Murray#7 @David B. Grinberg.., You know there are all kinds of points of view on how to deal with these people. What you outlines is certainly one of them. Kinda depends on the troll. But at the end of the day it's whatever you think will make them go away. This post is just my opinion, which is all it can ever be.
Thanks for the contsructive comment.20/10/2016 #7 David B. GrinbergJim, nice analysis. You make many excellent points. Trolls are usually jealous haters. They try to goad authors into an online argument and then report the author for being offensive. That's their mojo, as you astutely articulate. Thus, I agree with your wise approach of treating them and deleting them like spam.
I would just add the caveat about "killing them with kindness." By this I mean, one reply to a troll to the effect of: "Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Your feedback is appreciated. Have a nice day."
The troll will usually provide and even harsher response which will further display their insignificance and shallow-mindedness. But at least the author will be on record offering a constructive and positive response to the troll -- which may further buttress the author's image while simultaneously further discrediting the troll. Thus, my usual strategy = one and done. One high road comment to the troll and then ignore, delete, report, etc. I think it's just a matter of personal preference regarding which approach to take. I believe both are effective. Thank you for considering this.20/10/2016 #5 Jared WieseTo quote someone famous, "I don't do long comments on pieces I really like. So I'm done."
AND then I had to say something about troll comments...
Not sure you've found a troll? Sometimes you assess by the number/positive ratings on their comments. Sure, there may be other trolls lurking and liking, but in general this helps.
- Producer18/10/2016Cynicism As PositivityOFTEN SEEN AS NEGATIVE, TRUE CYNICISM IS VERY OFTEN THE MULCH OF IDEALISM...Preface: I first published a version of this article on LinkedIn and beBee not very long after the Producer platform was launched. Since then, I've had some additional...
Comments20/10/2016 #51 John Vaughan#45 "... perhaps you should do something like what I've done ...." sez @Phil Friedman.
Thanks for sharing some examples of your past work, Phil. Very nice.
Actually, that's pretty much what I tried to do in Comment #41. It's is filled with links to my past work, including: a portfolio of clients, published articles, software, case studies, conference papers, explanatory articles, a gallery of creative artwork, "best practices" examples, explanations of process, university papers, (did I mention the masters in Ed Media - or the masters in Interactive Telecommunications?). It's all there at http://www.jcvtcs.com/. Well, actually, some more writings are at https://jcvtcsblog.wordpress.com/
Be my guest. Later, dude.20/10/2016 #50 Phil Friedman#48 #49 Thanks, Graham, for reading and commenting. And for the kind words --- which are especially gratifying coming as they do from a "contrarian". As an alleged cynic, I personally have great admiration and affection for contrarians, who likewise serve a valuable societal function, IMO. Keep the faith, and watch your six. Cheers!20/10/2016 #49 Graham Edwards#36 Thanks of the shout out @Phil Friedman... my working definition of contrarian is "You say black and I will say white" so we can have the discussion to ensure it's really black. Even if I know it's black, it's always good to pressure test it. lol
When it gets into the real world light you never know what it will look like.20/10/2016 #46 Phil Friedman#44 Yes, Praveen, that is very true. And the world needs all of them --- something I personally have never denied. What I do reject, however, is the notion that we should accept what we believe we cannot change. For as I've said, that is too often an excuse for not doing anything, not even speaking out about something that should not be. Cynics, in the true sense of the word, make people uncomfortable. And to my mind, that is their calling in life, and their function in the scheme of things. Thank you for reading and commenting, as you always do, with genuine insight and understanding. Cheers!20/10/2016 #45 Phil Friedman#41 Thank you for what, John? Pointing out I spelled a word wrong? Isn't that an OC action, for which no thanks are needed or appropriate. As to history, perhaps you should do something like what I've done to put an end to questions about my history, and for pissing matches. See below. :-)
"I'll Show You Mine, Then You Show Me Yours" ( https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/i-ll-show-you-mine-then-you-show-me-yours )
And ( https://www.linkedin.com/in/friedmanphil )20/10/2016 #44 Praveen Raj GullepalliSo, between how things ought to be (An Idealist's preoccupation) and how things are ( A Realist's paradise); we have the Cynics. Whose full time duty it is to compare and rant at this disparity:) And then, there are those, who quietly go about making the Ideal, Real! But it would be an incomplete world without even one of these different kinds! They all inspire each other, don't they dear Phil?20/10/2016 #43 Praveen Raj Gullepalli#26 Read my copy of it in my high school days Gerry...a quiet meditative read it felt...and spawned the love of one particular bike in my heart...The Royal Enfield. Used to see a couple of my uncles take that bike apart and putting all together again all by themselves over lazy weekends at home. They never heard of Pirsig. Lila was a poor follow up i felt when it hit the stands.I recommend Zen &The Art to my younger biker friends, hoping it would make them less hot headed and more contemplative on the journey ;)20/10/2016 #41 John Vaughan#40 The History Guy loves The Record. It is my Friend, @Phil Friedman. I had previous careers in older media (Graphics, Animation, Video, Writing http://www.jcvtcs.com/portfolio/index-newmedia.html) before Digital came along, so I kinda get it ... at least in my own mind. Also: Documentation Manager (http://www.jcvtcs.com/portfolio/dow-jones.html, http://www.jcvtcs.com/services/documentation.html), well-published and a conference "voice" during the Early Daze of Digital (http://www.jcvtcs.com/papers-tcs/index-papers-tcs.html). Have written literally hundreds of professional-grade documents for my 100+ employers & clients (http://www.jcvtcs.com/uxp-tasks/index-uxp-tasks.html). Blah blah blah...
In short: Yes, I "have a clue". I have a shitload of a clue, when it comes right down to it.
To your point: I'm well aware of "the correct editorial device". I'm also painfully aware that the technically-correct-but-stuffy "Elements of Style" are kind of dated - and occasionally inappropriate to this medium. Particularly an aggressively, self-righteously *casual* environment like beBee.
So I deliberately chose to forgo the 'proper' form and just skip ahead to the truth (It's spelled 'cojones') - without the pretense. A simple "thank you' would've sufficed.
Cheers!20/10/2016 #40 Phil Friedman#38 For the record, the correct editorial device to use when quoting a phrase that contains a misspelled word or other error is "[sic]" inserted in the quote immediately after the error. We print media dinosaurs know this... And a lot of other stuff about which digital natives haven't a clue.Cheers!20/10/2016 #37 Gerald HechtSomebody's hacked my account and is making my Profucer Pieces have different wordings--companies calling themselves "Russian banks" are screwing with my shares on google plus and stuff sorry Javier beBee and Juan Imaz but you've been compromised apparently and I've filed with Ft he FBI20/10/2016 #36 Phil Friedman#32 thank you, John, for reading and commenting. I think you agree that cynicism is often the necessary prerequisite to attaining clear vision, particularly on social media. Someone recently asked me if I didn't really mean "skepticism". I explained that a skeptic is actually a cynic without cajones.
@Graham Edwards describes himself as a "contrarian". I am not exactly sure what he means by that, but I do know that he calls 'em as he sees 'em. Which is what cynics do. Cheers!19/10/2016 #35 Phil Friedman#33 Great to hear from you, Linda. Have missed your sensible contributions to the conversation back from the days of Writers4Writers on LinkedIn. Although I am not a beBee brand wrangler, I nevertheless welcome you to this potentially great platform. With a big hug back. Sent to you all the way to Colorado. Cheers!19/10/2016 #33 Linda SkarrupLove how you explore the positive aspects of cynicism.... we often skate along the surface of what seems like a negative personality type or communication style only to find wisdom and truth. I resonant well with your reference to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, it was powerful when first published and remains to be an integral part of our culture....
- Producer15/10/2016A Mercifully Short Metaphorical Essay On Deepening Relationships In Social Media.My friend, and former client, photographer Michael Kohn, who is a very bright guy, posted an interesting quote from Malcom Gladwell in which he was referencing Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg."Connection is the goal. The quality of that connection,...
Comments17/10/2016 #28 Javier beBeeThis is great @Jim Murray. beBee is working for getting better , deeper and longer business relationships. The most important thing is to have a clear focus on what to do. We will deliver the best user experience as possible. But beBee is buzzing because of our bees. Buzz on !17/10/2016 #25 Praveen Raj GullepallibeBee is the "next level" from my experience of it dear Jim. Would you agree? If FB explored, enabled and exploited connections at face value, a platform like beBee is the next level in the sense that it enables 'relationships'...deeper, more value-based engagement and greater value-for-time spent on it. Among other things of course! We sure are havin a whale of a time here anyway! ;)16/10/2016 #19 Wayne YoshidaThanks Jim --- all users of social media platforms - meaning all of us - are "products" that are bought and sold. Any platform is useless without user input, which becomes content for the platform - and feeds the profile engines so we can be bought, sold or traded.
Something to think about when a platform offers "premium" memberships for some price - who really benefits?
What about platforms offering something for us users/creators of the content? Instead, they give us - more advertising and profiling and pop-ups and registration forms to fill in before viewing content for folks who want to sell us something.
Maybe this will change . . . .16/10/2016 #14 Jim Murray#12 @Claire Cardwell...They are indeed a distraction. Every time they make a noise people respond Like Pavlov's dog. I have a flip phone I treat like a home phone. I pick up messages just like back in the day. I only text my kids on my Ipad or computer because it's hard to reach them any other way.
- Producer14/10/2016Toxic and destructive people and why I am "missing"The last and next few days are so busy that I cannot spend as much time as I would love to and honor your valuable and often thought-provoking honey. I am doing my best. The last days, I also felt a bit sad and troubled. It happens to the most...
Comments16/10/2016 #58 CityVP ManjitWhen I look at cults I often see the empath attracted by the narcissist because the narcissist has learned to use emotional intelligence findings about human beings as a manipulation of highly empathetic human beings. Later in such groupings where sexual abuse is discovered within the group, a state of denial may exist except in those empaths whose eyes have been opened by pain - that who they trusted and placed their face in was an incarnate of evil, a monster of a human being.
This is where "real life" is about awakening to truths, while facing those truths must not make us lose faith in the idea of humanity. The cold blooded human being will treat emotion as a manipulation rather than a divine gift and those that are most human have emotional energy flowing in abundance - and when that energy is betrayed, when it has been debased and corrupted, they suffer a further emotional wounding - a wounding of trust and faith in people that was most natural to them.
For those who advocate simply forgiveness for emotional scars that will never heal, they are advocates who do not possess high emotional resonance and sensitivity to life that is a felt experience and more importantly they have not experienced even a fraction of 1% of the pain felt by those whose emotions are remain human skin rather than a suit of armor.
This narcissism is just one example of the toxic. David Foster Wallace faced a cynical and self-interest filled world that he never came to terms with, http://pangeaprogress.blogspot.ca/2015/10/david-foster-wallace-on-toxic.html In facing the real, our memories repeat many times, while the offender only needed to cut us once and often not even realize the wound so inflicted.15/10/2016 #51 Mamen Delgado#50 Yes Aurorasa, to admit our potential to grow and the willing to change is the first and essential step to a new life. I have travelled that road, I'm not the one I used to be, so I do know that change is possible as you say at the beginning of your email. It's a bit easier if we find a reason, a powerful reason, to go through that journey.
I found that reason in my oldest daughter. Powerful enough to swim down to darkness and deal with my inner little girl.
I was lucky, still I am, because Life gave that beautiful opportunity to live another life in this one. But not everybody has the chance, or finds his/her POWERFUL reason. And no one can do it for them.15/10/2016 #50 Aurorasa Sima#49 I bet you´d be a great coach with your love for people and live. That was not a coaching client, he offered to do some other work for me. You´re right once more: the people who would need you most will not come.
It´s positive people that admit their potential to grow and are willing to change.15/10/2016 #49 Mamen DelgadoI really admire your job @Aurorasa Sima, some friends tell me I should have studied Coaching or something related to Emotional Therapy but I always think I couldn't deal with negativity and with people I see clearly they don't want to change, it's easier for them to keep in the dark side or in the "poor of me" way of being.
By the way... The best cheese for pizza is clearly grana padano!!! LOL!! 😂15/10/2016 #47 Aurorasa Sima#46 Yes, there is. I told a negative person, respectful and polite, that I do not want to work with them. They then flipped out and started actions that come close to criminal offenses. You´d pity them if they were not targeting you.
It´s just not nice to see crazy up-close or to be forced to deal with negativity. These people are obviously not well. But they overstrain my patience when it comes to my willingness to help.15/10/2016 #46 Robert CormackWe all deal with destructive people, Aurorasa, even when we think we've made "friends." A few years back, I took a serious look at my friendships over the last 40 years. Some have remained around that long. What surprised me was how many had taken our relationship for granted all that time. So I took a lesson from someone who said, "Sometimes even the best of friendships need to be laid to rest." The ones I decided to "lay to rest" probably don't even know. If you don't call them, nothing happens. But I also discovered I don't miss them. I made room for other people, some good, some bad. I've actually made some friendships that are far more rewarding. My novel would never have gotten done without the help of what I'll call "new friends." They've shown themselves to be smart, loyal and incredibly insightful. There's always hope, in other words.
- ProducerCLIQUESome of us feel isolated sometimes. It’s true. I went through many Research Papers to study the ramifications of feeling that way recently. To simplify the results, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. You may be an introvert. You...
Comments18/10/2016 #58 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015#57 @lLisa Gallagher. I believe that leaders are not born, they are made. In order lead, it's a good idea to follow for a while. It works. Being in situations that are challenging is a really good way to learn. That does not mean we should not be with our like minded friends. Yes, we learn from them too. However, when it's time to lead, the experiences of diffusing difficult situations enters. To understanding people who can be quite impossible we learn by putting strong leadership skills in place. Those skills are not usually necessary most of the time when we are with our friends who we share the values and interests as you mentioned.17/10/2016 #57 Lisa Gallagher#53 Hi @Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015, I think you misunderstood the context of my comment, " I don't like cliques but I do enjoy like minded people (however, I'm not saying I don't find interest in others who are very dissimilar from me as well). I learn from people who I may not have a lot in common with. I tend to interact more with those who share similar interests, core values, morals and ethics."
I interact with many who do not share the same interests as me and I have learned a lot from them as well. One example of many- I have a friend who owns a very large horse farm. She breeds, shows and yes sells horses. I like horses but I'm not interested in owning a horse farm. I do however, love her stories and have deep respect for her hard work.
As for real life, my statement still stands, I do enjoy like minded people and when I use that term, I use it broadly. Many of my friends are like minded yet very diverse and we all differ. I guess it's the core values of people which draw me to others. I think being a leader differs from thinking on terms of life in general and who we may be attracted to. As long as a person is genuine, shows great respect towards others and has a fairly open mind, I tend to be drawn towards those types of individuals. :))17/10/2016 #53 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015#47 @Lisa Gallagher I understand that interacting with like-minded people is a preference. It limits the leadership when preference is chosen rather than challenge.. A leader communicates with all mindsets and gives them them the choice of who they want to follow.15/10/2016 #52 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015@Pamela L. Williams#31 I hope you did not misunderstand my article. I never would be so pompous as to suggest that anyone should not follow those who they enjoy. What I am expressing is opening minds to other schools of thoughts . It would be extreme and not a sensible action to not continue following those you enjoy. To stay your own course is your personal decision.Hopefully I explained my position with understanding.15/10/2016 #50 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015@Phil Friedman I have been remiss in responding to comments. I must thank you, not just for the way you review my writing, but for the courtesy and support you have given to me from day 1 when I was greener than grass on beBee. Deeply grateful. Karen Anne14/10/2016 #47 Lisa Gallagher#28 Thanks @Franci Eugenia Hoffman, I just shared that guide with a new recruit! She's joining before the weekend is over. @Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015, you made some great points about cliques which have been around forever. I don't like cliques but I do enjoy like minded people (however, I'm not saying I don't find interest in others who are very dissimilar from me as well). I learn from people who I may not have a lot in common with. I tend to interact more with those who share similar interests, core values, morals and ethics. I think that's what we tend to see more of on beBee, which is why it's called Affinity Networking and many people who interact a lot together have found common ground which is why Affinity Networking is great, there's something for everyone. I would never want anyone to feel under-valued, we are all human and we all count. Thanks for this!14/10/2016 #46 Phil Friedman#41 Karen Anne, so you know, I cited this post in a comment thread at
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/with-a-little-help-for-my-friends View more#41 Karen Anne, so you know, I cited this post in a comment thread at
where I believe it is particularly relevant and enlightening in the context of the discussion. Thank you for articulating the issue so clearly. Close14/10/2016 #44 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015@Phil Friedman love your comments. To clarify acceptance. If it comes my way cool. It not, I do not care. My concern is for support and acceptance for the newbees from all of us at BeBEE . Inclusive of the higher ups. I am done with awards. CNN was important to me. I have a responsibility to encourage the new talent. I know how difficult it was to be rewarded, As I watched the younger writers disappointed in themselves. I want to change that. KAK14/10/2016 #43 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015#42@ Brian McKenzie ..how fortunate you are to teach the kids in that age group. They must be so fun and like little sponges absorbing your expertise. I get the jagged ones to Mentor..not complaining.. must be positive. So happy to hear that you teach. I appreciate your comment. Grateful to hear from you.14/10/2016 #42 Brian McKenzieTo keep my sanity, when I am not briefing or writing about the coming war, I teach English to local students. They are 13 - 17 years old. They all knew the word and the remaining time of the class we talked about French words that America has borrowed and installed. It was a fun class14/10/2016 #41 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015In a complex, multi-layered hive buzzes a beautiful, articulate, affluent, charismatic and powerful queen bee. She has the magical power to strengthen friendships, or to break them, refusing admittance to her inner circle. She functions well because of wannabees, who are delighted to be in her company. The wannabees strive to get closer to the queen showing that they are worthy by dressing in the queen’s style and sharing similar interests. They feel connected and comfortable. We all know about school cliques and how painful they can be to children. However, many of us don’t realize the power cliques wield in our adult lives.14/10/2016 #40 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015#38 @Brian McKenzie. We do get through Junior High and know what a clique is. Chutes and Ladders was first published by Milton Bradley in 1943. Many interpretations of that game have been challenged since then. To answer your statement about not seeing the need to consult a dictionary. Which one are you referring to ? I am a writer and I rely on many dictionaries. I don't expect dictionaries to be able to explain the meaning of the word "truth." That's a big epistemological problem. Is something true because it's useful to believe, or because it's logical and consistent, or because it corresponds to a noumenon that out there somewhere, or because it can be disproven and hasn't, or what? But when it comes to the internet, it's possible that there's someone out there that's an expert on just such an issue. I feel the need to consult dictionaries for clarity when I am on a subject that requires well understood information for my readers. Thank you for your comment, it is greatly appreciated. KAK14/10/2016 #39 Karen Anne Kramer ~ CNN Women Leaders 2015#37 @Don Kerr I am so pleased at your response Don. Introversion can have many definitions. In the context that I wrote this piece, I struggled to ascertain that I was using the correct meaning. It goes in many directions. I tried to avoid certain complicated medical terminology, and made this article as easy to read as I could. There is a book, which goes into many variations of what I wrote. The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, introverts have a longer neural pathway for processing stimuli. Information runs through a pathway that is associated with long term memory and planning. In other words, it’s more complicated for introverts to process interactions and events. As they process information, introverts are carefully attending to their internal thoughts and feelings at the same time. Most young people do not know that cliques are mainly comprised of extroverts. They know that they don't "fit in" and are ignored from their polar opposites. I am bringing out this information so that the younger members of this Platform come forward with their work and have the support of the members of this network. It is with sincere hope, that we learn from them. Thank you so much. KAK
- Producer07/10/2016Building Engagement on Social MediaHOW WRITERS AND BLOGGERS CONNECT WITH READERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA... I've been researching and writing an article for Samantha Bailey's LinkedIn group for Group Owners, Managers, and Moderators on the relationship between engagement and initial exposure...
Comments09/10/2016 #55 Phil Friedman#52 Pt II --- Michele, Thank you, Michele, for your insight and kind words. Perhaps, if enough of us who understand the elements of authentic intellectual exchange can find each other, we can build a refuge within the increasingly stultifying wave of honey sweetness for those who actually give a damn.
See @Jim Murray, @Don Kerr, and @Kevin Pashuk, my fellow BeeZers, I've gone and done it again. Poked the honey bear in the eye. Ah, well...Cheers!09/10/2016 #54 Phil Friedman#52 To quote you, Michele, "I found out early on that the toughest comments came from those who cared most." BINGO! and not just because it is something I've repeatedly said myself. Rather, because it is true.
My good friend, Prof. @Milos Djukic, speaks of "success at social media", that concept is both a snare and a delusion. For the predominating concept of "success" in the Land of Digital Exchange is popularity... And that goal will always drive Insipidipity.
We may not always be able to discern "authentically" meaningful interchange, but we can damn well recognize pro forma when we see it: Comments made on articles without reading them. Generic positive stroking that could apply in any situation to anybody and anything that might be said. Constant unreflective exchanges of mutual admiration among small cliques. Unremitting adherence to an ethos of shallow sweetnessithunt aggre@Don Kerrwho dares to step off the well trodden path of Social Media Muzak. Cont... Pt II09/10/2016 #52 Michele Williams@Phil Friedman, @Milos Djukic at the risk of making a pro forma positive comment, I have enjoyed your thoughtful and respectful exchange in comments 41-50. In academia, no scholarship is perfect. I found out early on that the toughest comments came from those who cared most. While there should always be room for growth in understanding through debate and disagreement on beBee, we should not lose the expressions of joy that beBee elicits as people read, watch and listen to wonderfully diverse posts. I am not sure that we will ever be able to disentangle joyful responses to new topics and ideas from subtle asks for reciprocity.09/10/2016 #51 Anonymous#50 @Phil Friedman, The fear of failure and irrelevance is a very common and widespread phenomenon in social networks. You never know whether a positive comment is made only pro forma or not. A targeted interaction is a crucial one and also a willingness to understand that we are different. Only then we can help and improve each other. I will repeat again something that I wrote a long time ago:
"I'm an imperfect person with a bunch of weaknesses. What makes us unique is not our professional successes, social media itself or other trivia. Professional success in social media is a result of our humanity and willingness to recognize what is important and that's nobility. Not only humanity and nobility directed towards our family, but also towards others: "little"- great people on social media, with all its weaknesses. With such a person, a real professional, every aspect of professional or non- professional cooperation is always possible and fruitful. The basic characteristics of such a person are: 1. Clear personal attitudes, 2. Skillfulness, 3. Knowledge and imagination , 4. Desire to learn and improve, 5. Personal integrity, but ALSO 6. Gentleness, 7. Unpretentiousness, 8. Unobtrusiveness, 9. Willingness to help, 10. Willingness to say sorry and 11. Willingness to answer boldly and to be corrected" - from "What Makes Us Unique on Social Media", LI long-form post, published on December 28, 2014 (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-makes-us-unique-social-media-milos-djukic?published=t)09/10/2016 #50 Phil Friedman#48 The only thing in this case to fear, Milos, is fear itself. There is an important point, however, that I would like to emphasize. It was highlighted by remarks made by Nathan Lowell. True engagement is not achieved by likes and comments that pass back and forth in the night like trains on separate tracks. True --- or I suppose we might say authentic --- engagement happens only through interchange, that is, discussion and mutual reflection either as a result of disagreement or an intuition that some idea or opinion is worth examining and expanding and growing.
I rarely give advice about publishing on social media, but here is something for (pardon the expression) "NewBees": To build engagement, you must not only answer your reader comments, but you must do so by actually reading those comments and answering with a reply that is commensurate with, and speaks to the point or points the reader is making. A reply which also demonstrates clearly that you have read their comment and value it. cont... Pt II09/10/2016 #49 Phil Friedman#48 - Part II - @Milos Djukic
I try always to do that, although I have to admit that my manner is sometimes misunderstood. Here is the thing. I am serious when I say that I would rather receive a critical comment that shows someone has actually read and is responding to what I have written, than a positive comment that is made only pro forma. So even if I am arguing with someone, it should not be inferred that I do so because I do not value their input. Indeed, I am personally less likely to argue with someone whom I don't respect (which is why I have taken to ignoring certain trolls who follow me around), than I am with someone whose ideas and opinions I do respect.
That is why I will go 'round and 'round with you, and @Gerald Hecht, and the BeeZers, and John White, MBA and David Grinberg, and so many others whose opinions I find challenging and stimulating --- even if I ultimately do not agree with them. And why I am at such pains to point out ad nauseum the importance of allowing for, and defending dissent and disagreement on social media. Cheers!09/10/2016 #47 Anonymous#44 @Phil Friedman, very true ("We demonstrate the potential for being friends and comrades, whilst disagreeing about many things - Phil Friedman). Despite numerous disagreements and agreements, I believe that you and I are "like-minded" people. What's really common is not easily explainable. Perhaps an awareness of our own ignorance :)09/10/2016 #46 Anonymous#45 I understand your attitude @Phil Friedman, but for me science is nothing more then the collective dedication to finding truth. It is about influences which will not undermine or compromise the democratic tendencies of modern science through any common type of manipulation. Life coaching "gurus" are definitely excluded. I certainly agree with you, there are a lot of substance that is between and currently not so easily explainable by conventional science.08/10/2016 #44 Phil Friedman#42 Milis, I did not intend to say or imply that you and I are "like minded" about anything other than being serious about writing and free and open expression of ideas and opinions. And that we demonstrate the potential for being friends and comrades, whilst disagreeing about many things. Cheers!08/10/2016 #42 Anonymous#41 @Phil Friedman,l We are old friends and "opponents".This will remain so forever, just like fractals. The art of agreement and disagreement. Dualism? Rather not, probably self-similarity. Have we forgotten serenity? LI days and now beBee! beBee forever.
"WE, should only mean that like-minded people are united in the aim of ensuring universal prosperity. Some will say that this is an illusion. The reverie needs to find its way into reality. Those who do not understand will miss not only the “biggest opportunity“ - innovation, but also an opportunity to broaden their views." If I write carefully, I will also reduce the chance that my words are misunderstood, misused or taken out of context by someone. If I follow my intuition in writing, I will not be better to everyone, but certainly to myself and also to some precious self-similar people. - from "I'll be Back, Innovation in Self Leadership", LI long-form post, published on May 5, 2015 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ill-back-innovation-self-leadership-milos-djukic?trk=mp-reader-card
Dr. Robert Cialdini and 6 principles of persuasion by Tom Polanski
http://www.influenceatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/E_Brand_principles.pdf #4008/10/2016 #41 Phil Friedman#40 Now, Nathan, I welcome you to the fellowship of serious writers on beBee. I own a LinkedIn group, Writers 4 Writers, dedicated to interaction between serious writers, although not necessarily writers about only serious topics, and certainly not overly self-serious writers. But LinkedIn pretty much destroyed our ability to control the membership of the group and keep our often candid discussions private to the members of the group. So we don't go there much anymore. So I guess now we try to carve out some Affinitized territory on beBee, notwithstanding that we don't yet have all the tools to do a good job of that.
Anyway, concerning engagement and influence. I agree with you that true engagement is more than just a comment. Engagement involves, I think, a back and forth exchange and consideration of ideas and opinion. Which is harder work than most social media natives, with attentions spans of gnats, are willing to expend. Which leaves you and me, and the BeeZers, and a few others, including but not limited to @Milos Djukic and @Gerald Hecht. Which is probably okay, as I think we'll eventually draw more comrades from LinkedIn.
As to influence, I have neither much nor much to say. Except if helping you sell some books will save you from going back to teaching grad school, as a defrocked and recalcitrant university teacher myself, I am prepared to do what I can to prevent your descent into intellectual hell. If any of that makes sense. Cheers!08/10/2016 #40 Nathan Lowell#39 True, you didn't mention influence. Influence is more important to me than engagement. As a writer, I need people to buy my books or I have to become a barista or fall back to teaching grad school. Engagement is good because it helps to foster the relationships that can lead to influence, but I've strayed from your thesis.
I'm with you in that engagement doesn't require a following. It only requires one person to respond in a meaningful way. You've achieved engagement with this post. The question becomes "Now what?"08/10/2016 #39 Phil Friedman#38 Thank you Nathan for commenting. I understand what you're saying... although I don't remember myself saying anything about Influence. Of course, true engagement is difficult to judge and measure, but that is not at issue here. What is at issue is whether the development of a following is prerequisite to the generation of engagement. You also make, I think, a good point about needing to distinguish between interaction from engagement, but I think in doing so, we will simply end up redefining the commonly used word and not really developing a new or different concept. A bagel by any other name is still a bagel. Cheers!08/10/2016 #38 Nathan LowellThe Million Follower Fallacy is alive and well. I think the biggest issue lies in conflating three related terms - interaction, engagement, and influence.
Take Klout for example.
Klout claims to measure influence by using engagement as a proxy for something that is really difficult to measure in social spaces. Much true influence happens outside of the social space and gets instantiated when somebody buys a product or service. The problem is that engagement is also difficult to measure because the responses need to be parsed. A comment "FIRST!" isn't engagement. It's noise. Counting comments as a measure of engagement gives only a very rough approximation without taking into consideration what the comment actually says which is difficult to automate. So what happens is that they use interaction as a proxy for engagement because interaction is easy to measure.
The net result is that people conflate interaction with engagement and engagement with influence without actually understanding what each of those things is or why generalizing interaction onto influence is dumb.
Some interesting insight on this comes from some research from You Followed My Bot - http://firstmonday.org/ojs/index.php/fm/article/view/421708/10/2016 #37 Phil Friedman#35 Jim, it's Friday evening poetry time:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose sleigh was a rickety bucket
So old when he tried to
Take his family for a ride,
He gave up and sighed loudly
Oh, f#%k it!
Of course, what you say is both correct and wise. The genius in the concept of Affinity Networking on beBee is that everyone can potentially find a place for him- or herself. There are people on the platform who see it as a forum for digital socializing. Like being in one of the original Chat Rooms or groups. I personally don't object to that, although I believe (and want to be able to say) that I think there is a higher and better use for social media. And leave it to others to decide if they agree or disagree. That is the essence of free expression of ideas and opinions.
And BTW, I think you nail it when you point out the fact that to succeed beBee needs to differentiate itself from the other platforms, and certainly avoid devolving into a weak shadow of Facebook --- which is all socializing. Cheers!
- Producer06/10/2016I Don't Get No Respect!!!Rodney Dangerfield made a great living by claiming "I don't get no respect!".His typical one liners included such quotes as: "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." "I could tell that my parents hated...
Comments07/10/2016 #37 Jared WieseNice work, @Kevin Pashuk. I can respect it ;)
I loved your Golden Rule essence:
"When I show respect... I find that the respect I so innately crave is returned. Amazing how some things are so simple, yet so difficult."
Yes, another of life's paradoxes.
I wonder what the world of respect would be like if we applied the Platinum Rule? One might see it as the right thing to do, Karma, etc. Forget the X or Y chromosomes!
All the Buzz, -Jared07/10/2016 #36 Ken BoddieRodney Dangerfield's quotes and Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T are great ways to illustrate this post, Kev. I used to listen to the former on the Qantas flight comedy channel, and who doesn't love the latter? Taking a tip from Rodney, in retrospect, I also love respect, but all I seem to get around here is rejection. You see, my boomerang won't even come back to me! 😢06/10/2016 #33 Sarah Elkins"Why do so many people feel that giving someone respect is the same as surrendering to their ideologies?" Indeed. I've written a couple of articles along these lines, one was Respect vs. Being Respectful, acknowledging that we can treat someone respectfully (taking the high road), without respecting him/her. Behave respectfully, and your relationships will improve - and you'll be happier. Really.06/10/2016 #32 Sarah ElkinsThis is such an important concept, @Kevin Pashuk, and you presented it beautifully. "Why do so many people feel that giving someone respect is the same as surrendering to their ideologies?" Indeed. I've written a couple of articles along these lines, one was Respect vs. Being Respectful, acknowledging that we can treat someone respectfully (taking the high road), without respecting him/her. Another one was about being respectful and good ambassadors/role models for our children. If we are rude and inconsiderate to others, especially to our children and partners, we cannot expect them to be polite and considerate to anyone, especially us! Good reminders here, Kevin, sharing for sure.06/10/2016 #30 Phil Friedman#17 #16 - So as not to disappoint you, Kevin, or Jim, or for that matter Don, I agree one 125% with everything you've said here. And I think what you've said is important. I am, however, moved to add --- here it comes, the ubiquitous proviso --- that respect often involves treating others as equals, as much in your expectations of them as in your willingness to tolerate their foibles.
To my mind, that means not letting friends express half-assed ideas and opinions, without at least calling for them to discuss and defend them. The obverse of this is, for me at least, that simply patting everyone on the back (or head) and saying great job, independent of the facts, is a form of disrespect.
We love our children (at least when they are very young and cute) and we nurture them with an abundance of the kind of positive reinforcement intended to build their senses of self-worth and self-respect... but we do not in doing so "respect" them. It is only later when they grow into capable adults, worthy or our questioning of, and disagreement with them that we exhibit true respect for them as fully capable adult persons.
My point: love and caring are not synonymous with respect. Witness that we can, or should be able to respect people we don't like. Great post... with all due respect.06/10/2016 #26 David B. GrinbergExcellent message, Kevin. Respect and empathy are both critically important for the human condition and positive interpersonal relationships. Also, FYI, I'm a big fan of the late/great Rodney Dangerfield.
In my younger days, I attended one of his comedy shows and visited his comedy club in NYC ("Dangerfields"). Not sure if it's still there. His movies are hilarious too. Actually, I recall that when I attended his comedy show as kid on Long Island (NY), one exuberant fan/heckler yelled out: "Hey Rodney: where's the beef?" (per the popular Wendy's TV commercial back then). Without missing a beat, Rodney automatically responded to the fan/heckler: "Not in your pants!"
Good memories. Buzz on!06/10/2016 #23 Harvey LloydThanks @Kevin Pashuk a good reminder that we require feedback that acknowledges our existence and value. I believe one of the blinders to respect these days is the right and wrong internal debate. I can respect someone and not agree with their opinion. What ever journey they have taken has lead them to a place. I can respect their journey while not agreeing with their position.
- Producer03/10/2016Why Love is the Best MedicineThis is a topic very near and dear to my heart, my daily life, my future, and the change I want to be in the world. I was intending on sharing this to Sara Jacobovici's "What Words Mean to Me" hive just as soon as I saw it on LI via Emilia...
Comments04/10/2016 #8 Emilia M. LudovinoThank you dear @Deb Helfrich for this wonderful post. Just made my day, as I subscribe every word you penned down for us. Being myself a Reiki Karuna Master - Love, Compassion and Kindness are my working tools and my way of living, that I've been using for almost 20 years in all the walks of my life - as a Lawyer, Coach, Volunteer in Prisons and Hospitals - and I already testified some "miracles". Though I 100% agree with @Melissa Hefferman and #@Franci Eugenia Hoffman that we need to be more vocal about the importance of Love, Compassion, and Kindness in our world and to gather the like-minded soul. One Heart at a time and the LOVE REVOLUTION is possible. Much Love dear Deb and a blessed day.03/10/2016 #4 AnonymousYay, YESSSS, I Love this and YOU dear @Deb Helfrich! Let's start a revolution, a conscious one! Oh wait, I'm pretty sure it's already started. I'd high five the soldiering souls I've met in my imagination and with winks and little messages for a long time, but now I think, well, the more vocal we get the more we unite the light, across networks, platforms, and space cause it's a force that's bigger than us all! :) Cheers and have a BLESSED week!
- Producer01/10/2016The Brand, Our Brand : beBeeHow beBee came to us? When we decided to create a professional network through passions and an affinity-based network , we did not have the brand. We had the idea nor the brand.We did an internal contest among our employees with the goal of getting...
Comments06/10/2016 #101 David B. Grinberg#97 Do you have a specific web link or more specific citation @Flavio 🇯🇵 Souza?
As a former journalist and global media spokesman, I can't overemphasize the importance of appropriate attribution online -- this goes for all bloggers and everyone who produces sweet honey on beBee. I appreciate everyone considering this and, again, I appreciate your sharing the excellent quote, Flavio! Buzz on, my friend...04/10/2016 #91 Mohammed SultanDear,Javier beBee,You thrived for something that worth your strive-congratulations.All big things have little names and you learned how to use the name beBee in a big way .When the name covers the internal processes and the external impact,it will be much easier to design your positioning platform because the name say what you mean.Any successful innovation process starts with a genuine idea,like flashes of a spark,and passes the concept test through evaluation and development stages to realization.Because beBee innovation will disrupt the media and break the daily routine of the readers and writers,it must be carefully tracked to avoid innovation barriers and to ensure that it will lead to commercial success ,at least, in the first six months of its launch.For beBee to succeed in the long-term,you must create a position in the prospects mind that not only consider your strength and the value of beBee ,but also your competitor weakness and what prevent people from using their services.The new platform should depend more on informal ways that may give you more control when associating with your prospects.My view is; you can't depend on chance or referrals or word of mouth because they often dry and are a rather high risk passive marketing,and those who depend on them are often gamblers,not real marketers.Find the right bees whose loyalty can be developed and set up your positioning platform accordingly.04/10/2016 #87 Flavio 🇯🇵 Souzaby the way, @Javier beBee here is "the power of the bees" to share with your marketing team.
"Bees are undoubtedly the most abundant pollinators of flowering plants in our environment. The service that bees and other pollinators provide allows nearly 70 percent of all flowering plants to reproduce; the fruits and seeds from insect pollinated plants account for over 30 percent of the foods and beverages that we consume. Beyond agriculture, pollinators are keystone species in most terrestrial ecosystems. Fruits and seeds derived from insect pollination are a major part of the diet of approximately 25 percent of all birds, and of mammals ranging from red-backed voles to grizzly bears."03/10/2016 #81 Augusto Santos#9 Thank you very much @Sushmita Thakare Jain! I'm so glad that you mentioned me, and so happy that you're enjoying to be here on beBee. The @Javier beBee's post brings us more closely to the beBee brand. This approach show to us how captivating is the plataform. Great buzz Javier!
- Producer26/09/2016Invasion of the Time SnatchersJust a quick post, here, regarding a sudden increase (over the past few weeks) in the number of invitations that I have been getting from people who are dressed suggestively, or barely dressed at all. I'm probably a little bit of a prude as far as...
Comments03/10/2016 #37 Lisa Gallagher#7 Likewise, this is very common on larger networks. I found this happening quite frequently when I was very active on Instagram. I never followed back. I've had a few of these profiles following me on here but it hasn't been common. It will become more common as beBee continues to grow. Twitter is full of them too, along with fake studly men profiles LOL.
This is off topic but one thing I noticed on Instagram, many of these young girls (hard to tell if they were over 18-21) were also promoting 'sex chats.' I became curious because some of the girls seriously did not look more than 16, and I found many men from other Countries commenting and promoting these gals. What do you think crossed my mind??? Sexual Trafficking. I began to report some of the very suspicious IG accounts and males who were making sexual comments. I thought, hmmm if there's a 1% chance even that one of these girls has been kidnapped, then I reported.
I'm not suggesting that here (reporting, that is) , just sharing my experience on IG. I'm curious if anyone else ever felt some of the accounts gals had on there looked too young to be advertising for grown men??03/10/2016 #36 CityVP ManjitOn the whole beBee has been good at spotting these fake titalizing profiles (and yes I know titalizing isn't a word) and removing them from beBee. The options that I want however are not simply Follow and No Thanks but
FOLLOW - NO THANKS - NUKE
"Nuke" means I don't want them following me. As the Nuke rate goes up, beBee will get an instant alert that fakery is trying to titalize its way onto beBee. Nuke it at source I say - and of course we can use a gentler word for NUKE - like STING- but NUKE is so more poetically appealing to me, and of course that may well just be a guy thing and beBee have fallen in love with STING for other meanings far more glorious and noble than that which means the protection of the hive.02/10/2016 #33 John ValledorThis buzz and associated commentary is classic crowsourcing behavior--in a good way. First you identify a suspect connection request, share findings/suspicions with your entire network and let swarming (like bees) take over. Just like antibodies in the bloodstream seeking out and obliterating annoying members. Thanks for the head's up!02/10/2016 #32 Denise Da Vinha RicieriGuys, believe me, not only women are doing that with you: men are too. I have same experience with both, men and women, suspicious profiles. Is almost funny for me to think that they really believe I will also believe on their profile. Like any other plataform, I did what I always do: just ignored and go on...02/10/2016 #30 Andrew GoldmanHello, Charles. Great points on the topic. I see the same trend on twitter and facebook. Fishing attacks I'd say. The best way would be just to ignore all those requests. Or unfollow if you did. After all, there is always some amount of ghost followers on all networks (my Instagram unbeatable on the case so far). Have an awesome day!27/09/2016 #24 Anonymous#22 Huh really? and which kind of efficiency did you expect from a (supposed) whore? LOL
If you are one of those, who has all the time of the world between "customers", you download the app and that's it.
Some of those had as many followers as I had, by following hundreds.
The last one who followed me, has 55 followers, following 373. No buzz. No Cv. Two Tits
This is efficiency, not what we do. Effort 0. Time investment, almost 0. Brain cells 2 (one for each thumb)
We have made a post because of them, with 21 comments right now (with mine, 22)
More comments than in some buzzes I spent hours.
(Sorry for being rude, is not my style)26/09/2016 #23 Charles David Upchurch#21 INNFORMATE... You probably don't get any of these because your username and logo both look like a business rather than like an individual person. If @David Navarro López is right, then you have removed yourself from their target market by not appearing to be an individual customer.26/09/2016 #22 Charles David Upchurch@David Navarro López, if what you are saying is true, then these people are very inefficient in how they spend their time (and how they try to get me to spend my time). I say this because they are doing very poor market research (I will NEVER be in their market) and they are not communicating clearly about what they are selling.
I think it is just as likely that these spammers are scammers who are either trying to target gullible victims for future crimes or they are intentionally flooding beBee with distractions in order to annoy users or to devalue the platform.
I guess the interpretation of why people do this kind of thing (since we cannot ask one of the people who does it) depends on one's world view. 'Beauty (or not) is in the eye of the beholder.'26/09/2016 #20 Flávio Rodrigues Vieira@Charles David Upchurch the opnion here should be taken with caution, but with all due respect, who needs to show the body to achieve notoriety, this in the wrong place, there is seriousness in female beauty fashion and etc, but some pictures make me ask things like: There is a hive for women and men who sell adult entertainment?
- Producer24/09/2016The Key Philosophical Differences Between beBee Ambassadors and "Influencers" on Other Social NetworksLately, I've been seeing a lot of discussion about beBee Brand Ambassadors and several have called me into those discussions for feedback. In fact, much of this blog has been taken from my responses in the comments on a viral conversation on...
Comments02/10/2016 #81 Andrew PorterI'm still playing catch up and was on my holidays when this was published, but the points are well made about the differences between ambassador and influencer and the facts about the program, if you really like something you are going to engage and participate in highlighting the product or brand...you only reap what you sow, and the seeds of beBee must be sown far and wide for it to compete and be successful...very well explained @John White, MBA27/09/2016 #76 Franci Eugenia Hoffman#40 @Margaret Aranda, MD, PhD contacted me is taking a break from beBee due to her friend that is extremely ill and other circumstances. Those of you that are close to Mags can reach her on her Twitter account. cc @Pamela L. Williams @Lisa Gallagher @Donna-Luisa Eversley @Ali Anani "@Paul "Pablo" Croubalian @Deb Helfrich @debasish majumder26/09/2016 #73 Lisa GallagherThanks for taking the time to write this @John White, MBA, you laid out the facts of the program nicely. We are not influencers and as @Dean Owen noted, we also are not responsible for managing problems people encounter on their posts. Isn't there abuse@beBee.com and support@beBee.com if people have issues? I for one, do not feel I am any better than anyone on this platform and I have much respect for all the bee's I interact with. There are so many wonderfully talented people on beBee and I'm doing today what I've done since I began on this platform- promoting as much as I can because I want to see beBee succeed and it's never been about me. Javier built a great team in Spain first and now with you John, and @Matt Sweetwood working hard in the US to help beBee grow, well I see this as a win/win.. as I said, many great people here, yourself included.25/09/2016 #72 Deb Helfrich#71 #70 You both have summed it up nicely - the criteria is sincere effort. The whole point of this platform is the way that it is meant to accommodate each person tailoring their experience. Each ambassador does their own thing and contributes to the ultimate success of the platform in a number of unique ways. The commonality is that you do invest your time in a way that makes others enjoy their beBee experience.25/09/2016 #71 Ali Anani#69 I always believed that money is the reward for doing professionally a job out of the heart. Money is a reward or by-product of devotion and excellence. Focusing on money is not the way. I applaud your comment @Javier beBee View more#69 I always believed that money is the reward for doing professionally a job out of the heart. Money is a reward or by-product of devotion and excellence. Focusing on money is not the way. I applaud your comment @Javier beBee and I am in full support of beBee Close25/09/2016 #70 debasish majumderlovely insightful post @John White, MBA. the distinction of a beeBee ambassador are nicely crafted where one may be surely allured by the colorful contribution and the salient features of ambassadors, how they take the cudgel to make this platform a distinct one by their sincere effort, unlike other social media platfor. enjoyed read. thank you for sharing the post.25/09/2016 #69 Javier beBeeThanks a lot for your comments. We are willing to have more ambassadors, people who is making beBee better and bigger, but remember that being an ambassador is also an "attitude". Ambassadors dont have any privileges. They will only get money from equity if the company succeeds. Who is sharing equity with the users in their company ?25/09/2016 #68 John White, MBA#66: @John Marrett: If users are wearing the scroll wheel that is a good sign! It means we have a lot of buzzing going on here on beBee! As for the comment system, in a future release beBee will give users a choice between the existing commenting system and one more Facebook-like. We realized that some users like the current system and others prefer a more "traditional" one. So, why not give them a choice?!25/09/2016 #65 John ValledorThank you for explaining the metrics behind emerging beBee jargon e.g., VIB.
The fact that a beBee VIB is going the extra step in sharing the benchmarks that define scalable designations goes far beyond its competitors that do not.
I now know how to play by the rules of this social media channel--thank you!
- Producer14/09/2016Positivity vs Negativity: The winning factorsTo stay positive is sometimes tagged as unrealistic, or overvalued.There are some factors to consider. When at positive thinking, you are more prone to be constructive. When at negative thinking, you are more prone to be destructive....
Comments19/09/2016 #27 Anonymous#25 @David Navarro López - ah yes, to accept our own imperfections can be most difficult indeed! But there may be a treasure found in that unpleasant 'place' if it can be seen without judgement; without making an identity out of it. All we have is the present moment dear @David Navarro López - and it would seem it has lots of possibilities for peace. 😄19/09/2016 #26 Anonymous#22 Coming from you, that is an outstanding comment. Sadly enough, many of my coworkers are never happy. They spend their lifes just complaining. If its cold, is damned cold. If sunny, oh is too hot. You name it. They always find a "reason" to complain. This is why i wrote the presentation mentioned at the end of the buzz, because they always find something to complain about, to a point that it is a real sickness, the sickness of our time. We are not happy with ourselves, and tend to point the rest of the world as the guilty of our own unhappiness, while being happy will never start from outside to inside.19/09/2016 #25 Anonymous#12 thank you for your kind words Irene, I am happy you liked it. Sometimes the inner space happens to be not a such a pleasant place, if you have failed in many things, knowing that you are most responsible of it. Self regret can be a never ending torture. As part of going out of the cocoon , like Fatima says, there is a indispensable component. The hability to forgive yourself without being condescendent with yourself, with honesty. Then, you are able to recon what was wrong, you make the necessary changes, and start again.18/09/2016 #22 Franci Eugenia HoffmanWhat an enlightening article. There is a lot to take away from this. I love the quote by Confucius “You can always be happy, if you are able to be happy with anything” and I also love this line "The secret resides on not being afraid to be wrong, and to know that it is a must to be humble to learn." I consider this a 5 star read!18/09/2016 #21 Pamela L. Williams#13 I agree with Irene Fatima, what a beautiful comment. The quote is wonderful. "Burst your own cocoon and come out aw the beautiful butterfly, as the free soul. Then alone you will see Truth ",
How freeing are those simple words. I was having a conversation with a friend last week and the theme boiled down to: you don't harm goodness. Irene is right, the universe will work with us but when the flow is disrupted by harm then what should be turns negative. I have always believed this is what the philosophy of karma is about. It's not that things come back to you, it's that actions have changed the flow of space and time and what should have been has been twisted and resulted in a negative distortion of the flow. What should have been a positive encounter, turns into negative results.17/09/2016 #13 Fatima Williams#12 @Irene Hackett did you know your writing is like a healing balm . Non- resistance comes with the practice in time as we are all victims of suffering at some point in our life. Love what you said about inner space.
There is no help for you outside of yourself; you are the creator of the universe.orm you have built a cocoon around yourself…. Burst your own cocoon and come out aw the beautiful butterfly, as the free soul. Then alone you will see Truth - SwamiVivekanda17/09/2016 #12 Anonymous#6 @David Navarro López - a worthy buzz for all. I find a key component to your positive outlook in the following: "If you have been through hell and heaven, as you know I have been, then you learn." Once again it rings true, suffering is the real-life drama from which our eyes are opened - awakened to the beauty that is all around us. Suffering forces us to go deep - below the surface of what is 'happening'. It is in that deep place, that inner space, from which all is well. As we come to this place of non-resistance, we come to understand that the Universe supports us. A positive place indeed. And it radiates outward, a healing balm. I enjoy reading your thoughts @David Navarro López !15/09/2016 #11 Anonymous#10 Thank you for you nice words. In fact, they have been the trigger for me to think about something which i had a little blurry in miy mind, and now has become quite clear. Not telling you what right now. In about 8 hours from now i am writing a buzz about it. Be blessed15/09/2016 #10 Fatima WilliamsTalk about synchronicity as yesterday during my walk I was thinking about life , mistakes and choices and this buzz kind of throws it all at me . Thank you @David Navarro López
These are my key takeaways
“You can always be happy, if you are able to be happy with anything” Confucius.
You are free to choose, and to take decisions, even if you are the only one who understands them.
The secret resides on not being afraid to be wrong, and to know that it is a must to be humble to learn.14/09/2016 #8 Anonymous@Ali Anani @Aurorasa Sima Wanted to share an experience of today, concerning to the buzz. When it is very hot, like today, our boss uses to send a young apprentice to buy Ice Cream for each worker, and then this boy goes around distributing them with an isolating bag. Quite everybody has no much respect for this boy, as he does not-so-relevant tasks. But I always take him on consideration, try to teach him, and treat him well. Today, he came to me and as usual, said: Choose one, it is from the boss. But lowering his voice said: Search on the bottom of the bag. There are two of Mango and Maracuyá, I know they are your favorite. Take them both and say nothing.
So yes, I can say that if you are positive, and distribute positive things, your life can become a paradise.
- Producer18/09/2016LinkedIn: Land of Trolls, Haters and Fakes - Is beBee Far Behind?Lately, I decided to post onto my LinkedIn account and it didn't take long for the haters to come out. I define a "hater" as someone who is critical of a post but chooses not to explain why. Instead, they use phrases such as "This is garbage"...
Comments20/09/2016 #98 Vincent AndrewYes I've had the "big busted women" following me too @Cory Galbraith but I am not following them back. No chance. Bebee is a place to feel refreshed, to read other people's experiences and views and certainly not to be attacked. So far the people I have followed have produced good quality honey and that is a pretty good reason for me to stay.20/09/2016 #97 William VanDorin#92 I am possessed of outrageous opinions and the tenacity of a badger, I have had my share of trolls. I openly mock them in a none hostile way, often arguing their side of the excrement they are flinging to much better effect! They loose interest rather quickly when they realize you are having fun with it. In the end they are wishing I would just stop, but again, the whole tenacity thing! LOL!19/09/2016 #92 Phil Friedman#89 No, William, it does make a difference. I have a pet troll, or rather a groupie troll who stalks my profile daily so he can find my posts and comments, then shows up there with, commonly, arrogant, thinly disguised by personal attacks on my writing, ethics, intentions, or style. Since this has been going on for over two years, I am both bored with, and indifferent to the obviously I'll-motivated slurs. But it does often dampen the enthusiasm that many have for the conversation at hand, which is a pity. For many times that conversation is lively and interesting, until this troll shows up with his non-sequiturs and smelly red herrings,19/09/2016 #89 William VanDorinWe need the trolls. they are a poignant reminder of ignorance and where humanity needs work. With the proper attitude haters can be such fun, as they seem to be very easy to anger to the point of nonsensical ranting. Is it sinister to provoke such venomous people for sport and amusement? Who am I kidding? I don't care! Go ahead, hate on me... I could use the diversion.19/09/2016 #86 Jim MurrayInteresting Post @Cory Galbraith. I won't explain why (LOL). But I think you nailed it with your thought on the level of civility in society declining. There are a lot of things you can point to as causes for this. But mostly I think it's simply that people don't respect each other to the degree that they used to. The internet and all that comes with it gives people the freedom to be rude and insensitive without any fear of recrimination. So they do. And if you think LinkedIn is bad, you should try commenting honestly on a sports site like TSN.com. They're all animal over there. I think it was Thoreau that said "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation". But that was before the internet. Now they lead lives of willful ignorance and disrespect, which stems, to some degree, from a false sense of entitlement. Me. Me. Me. It's all about me. Thanks for the post. I'll share it in the Beezers Hive.19/09/2016 #84 Paul "Pablo" CroubalianRe Big Booby Ladies: everyone has been getting followed from the same obvious scammers. MY METHOD: I do not use the no thanks link. I open in a new tab, check the profile. If I follow, fine. If not I just close the tab and ignore it. Otherwise, you are liable to get repeated follows.19/09/2016 #79 Robert Bacal#75 Actually, Phil, I just wish you'd stop the tap dancing before you end up in the tub, but that's another issue. If you are referring to my response to you, rather than using this kind of vagueness, I'll explain, although sadly you did not ask. A friend tells another friend when they have toilet paper stuck to their shoes. An enemy lets you walk out with that toilet paper on your shoe because it will make you feel stupid. I'm neither friend, nor your enemy. I wrote what I wrote since you mentioned being criticized, but you left out part of the equation SOMEONE should care enough about you to tell you.19/09/2016 #77 Phil Friedman#73 Aurorasa, I like you 2-reply rule, except I not sure that it works for all contexts. Some of the best conversations I've been involved in on social media have gone on for much longer, and for many more back and forths than that. Depends on the participants and their objectives and expectations, I think. And I also think that we should not modify what we do in such discussions based upon how they might "look" to outsiders -- unless we believe that all our activity online is for display purposes only. Cheers!
- Producer12/09/2016All Circuits DownI've had this story in my memory since 9/11/2001. Putting the story in writing is something that I considered last September, but I hadn't found my written "voice" yet, so it stayed there, in the back of my mind. Yesterday @David Grinberg's...
Comments12/09/2016 #3 Charles David Upchurch#1 That's very kind, @Dean Owen, but people like me were never really in harm's way. The air traffic controllers were amazingly effective in getting all but four planes safely landed. But we were all just doing our jobs. The real heroes were those who helped others at Ground Zero, at the Pentagon, and on Flight 93.12/09/2016 #2 Lisa GallagherGreat message contained within your story @Charles David Upchurch. Thank you very much for sharing your story. I hope that day comes sooner than not that we can work together as imperfect human beings trying to better this world as a whole. Life is too short and I've always lived my life with the idea that what I do for others is much more important that what I do for myself (not that my needs don't count) but when we put others first it really does make a difference in not just their lives but those around us and yes, our lives too. It's also great for children to see their parents reaching out to help others in many ways. I see my own kids doing the same.
- 10/09/2016“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”― Laurence J. Peter
- Producer09/09/2016Sort of .... but not really.The little bell icon in the upper-right of my beBee screen has a bunch of numbers in it."Oh boy!", sez I. "These are Notifications! Maybe somebody likes me. Let's see who." ... and I click on it.Here's what I find : Some people have liked my...
Comments14/09/2016 #113 John Vaughan#110 glad to hear about beBee's quest for Venture Capital @Aurorasa Sima
The punchline is ... what do you invest it in? In a similar vein - Kudos for LinkedIn's buyout by Microsoft. In both instances ... we'll see ...
Don't know what you mean by Bell Labs being "a homogeneous environment" (uniform, identical, unvaried, consistent, indistinguishable ... consisting of parts all of the same kind). Maybe it looks that way to you, but I respectfully disagree. In any case, it was effective for other reasons.
Likewise "altruism" (the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others) actually has merit beyond shallow marketing 'feel good' jive. But that's another rant ...
Here's a Case in Point from the WayBack Machine:
COMMUNITY SERVICES SITE Pro Bono community work http://www.jcvtcs.com/portfolio/pack-215.html
Showcase: SOCIAL http://www.jcvtcs.com/showcases/showcase-social.html13/09/2016 #110 Aurorasa Sima#109 Altruism? Great agenda, the motivation is that helping people makes altruistic people feel good (:
Maybe you are more concerned because you are addressing issues for a longer period of time. The bossi bees are currently traveling overseas to get VC that they to my knowledge are planning to use for product development and growth. Will that solve all the strategic and structural problems in the world at once? Probably not but it´s an essential step.
We could leave for something better, work with what we have or build our own. As a change expert, you could teach me that change is a process that often happens in small steps.
The Bell Labs thingie was a great thingie. A tad easier maybe because it happened in a homogeneous environment.13/09/2016 #109 John Vaughan#100 " Self-marketing happens in every form of relationship." is a given, @Aurorasa Sima
We also draw some boundaries so that the words have meaning as you note in your attempt to differentiate between "understandable/acceptable" marketing and "over-the top/manipulative" marketing
I'd add another 'agenda' for why people are in this community: Altruism. Yep, I said it. Look at anyone's profile - and how they describe themselves. Volunteer work, hobbies, community involvement - even political activism - are all important aspects of how we value our world. It's a fair amount of what we post about. These are 'labors of love'. I often work with volunteer and non-profit groups, with the motivation of "the greater good". It's always interesting to see how 'marketing' and 'self-promotion' are viewed in those environments. But that's another rant.
I'm glad we agree about "just because you build it" ... but part of my insight was that NO amount of promotion or marketing would really make a successful difference in this environment. Because: Collaboration is not perceived as having any real value. Perhaps it is valued by a few customer-members, but it's not systemically important to beBee. No blame. That's just what it is.
That was the beauty of the Bell Labs thingie: The opportunity to pursue good ideas creatively in a supportive environment (with really smart people, too. What's not to like?). beBee just doesn't have the resources and furthermore (no offense) doesn't really strategically 'get it' either. No blame. That's just what it isn't.13/09/2016 #106 John Vaughan#103 "Yes, it's deceptive from the recipient's view, but it doesn't mean the taggers are being deliberately deceptive." says @Robert Bacal
Agreed. In my original article, I didn't get into motivation - Just noting behavior. A little analysis. And alluding to solutions.
A classic moment in almost any UX engagement:
* 2 minutes - identifying a "glitch'" like this as a problem that should be addressed
* 2 weeks or more - dealing with reflexive, reactive pushback, finger-pointing, blame, defensiveness, butt-covering, etc. that is the inevitable result of .... change
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@john-vaughan/change13/09/2016 #104 John Vaughan#89 "Was the Alcatel (Bell Labs http://www.jcvtcs.com/portfolio/bell-labs.html) solution an Intranet?" asked @Aurorasa Sima
Short answer: Yes
Relevance: Organizations & businesses who want to evolve socialNet capabilities for their in-house community (i.e. intranet + some affinity attributes) ALSO want to leverage that 'networking' in order to (ahem) ... do something worthwhile. Collaborate.
'Affinity' for beBee is a brand more than it is a differentiator - in the sense that ALL socialnets are based on affinity attributes. Variations on a common theme. beBee trumpets a couple of features, but thy're not real market-makers. Any valuable features will be knocked off by competitors (They always are). Right now beBee doesn't appear to be successfully integrating The Good Stuff from their competitors. Aside from that, beBee's got a strong international profile (and plenty of language-barrier silos as a result). Automated translation solutions will be iffy, at best.
The Collaboration Engine (Your Intranet on Steroids) is the REAL Next Big Thing. There's a ready market for it. But only if you've got a solution.13/09/2016 #103 Robert Bacal#98 John @John Vaughan Yes, it's deceptive from the recipient's view, but it doesn't mean the taggers are being deliberately deceptive. In fact, I don't think anyone says: OK, I'm going to tag/mention a bunch of people to trick them into coming here.
I've come to the conclusion that the problem isn't the users, although there are a few that I see as spammers, but the Bebee system of notifications, which is downright terrible. And, that Hives don't send notifications. You'd think that after all the LinkedIn mistakes, Bebee would ensure that this essential part of the interface function the way it ought to. I AM wasting a lot of time checking out all the notifications that pop up, finding most don't have anything to do with anything I wrote. It's a deal killer, and unless it changes - i.e. how notifications work here, I may have to shut down my involvement.13/09/2016 #102 John Vaughan#93 What is beBee+Plus? @Aurorasa Sima
"Make beBee all it can beBee" (It's a 'work in progress)
Post Challenges and kick around Solutions.
Keywords: Collaboration, Creativity, Crowdsourcing
I'm a 'solutions guy'. It's what I do, professionally. I was a squeaky-wheel-with-a-decent-following of professional colleagues at LinkedIn. LinkedIn was a powerful vision that stagnated - and abandoned its commitment to the professional Groups who'd made its success possible in the first place. Then beBee became "the new kid on the block". (There have been many. There will be more.) So there's a window of opportunity for Change. (There have been many. There will be more.) I've built and pioneered a fair amount of stuff over time - most of it "ahead of its time". I enjoy being on the cutting edge - even tho it can cut you. beBee+Plus would be a safe space for those of us who actually have something valuable to contribute ... to contribute. And to play together. As regards Crowdsourcing, Creativity, and Collaboration - I am a believer-with-solutions-credibility. And beBee is ... yet another Work In Progress.
Just because "you build it" doesn't necessarily mean that "they will come". Like many/most other groups (esp during startup), I primed the pump with my own articles. (Not unusual: beBee's self-marketing is something like 16% of this site's content https://www.bebee.com/producer/@john-vaughan/the-mirror-100-posts-our-content-profile). When you look at the Facebook-y profile of beBee (and the fact that many of us deserted LinkedIn because it, too, had become just another trivialized marketing engine) you can see why an active, particpatory, solutions-oriented collaboration Group wasn't exactly destined to succeed. It's past tense now: Haven't posted much there lately, have considered shutting it down, and ... running out of space on this Comment.
There ya go.
Thanks for your interest.13/09/2016 #100 Aurorasa Sima#99 Self-marketing happens in every form of relationship. It starts when you chose the shirt that looks nice on you.
There will be no community consisting of people with different agendas without self-promo. I differentiate between people who add value in order to promote themselves and people who post valueless salesy messages. It´s too early to say, but so far the last type has no traction on this site.
You are right. Just because you build it does not mean they´ll come. It´s a bet. Promotion and being a role model can influence the odds.
I love that you´re a solutions guy, someone who can add value and be a problem solver. Let´s get that window open, then. Unless you know of other undeveloped plots it seems like the right thing to do.13/09/2016 #97 John Vaughan#95 You pose some interesting challenges @Taylor Bonds and @Kerry Taylor
I don't know if you are asking about how to 'interact with clients' on social media, thru your website, or thru beBee in specific. Or all of the above?
In any case, it's a big bunch of questions. Worthy of a book - and there are some good ones out there. You might ask beBee to guide you to how to do it here. Marketing - and specifically Self-marketing - is pretty much what beBee is all about. More so than "professional".
beBee should probably take your request as more evidence that they should develop tools, techniques, and philosophy to support you and members like you. I no longer provide Solutions Suggestions in this venue.
From my own struggle with juggling multiple socialNets: Your "internal organization" is key to efficiency. Information Architecture - the librarying of what's-there-and-what-you-have-to-play-with - (an Inventory, if you will) is a good first step. And you probably want to 'map Process' (what you do, how the tools work). This guides you to a Template (replicable solution) that works for you. There are lots of Patterns. Get to know yours. Your keyword is "convergence".
You have my sympathy and support. Convergence is a bitch. Make it yours.
http://www.jcvtcs.com/techniques/social-convergence.html : Video = several years old (2012), but still sorta relevant13/09/2016 #95 Taylor BondsHi John. It is definitely not the age of the technically challenged. I a new to this whole social media marketing and have registered FB, LinkedIn and now with Bebee. I have a web developer that I am using to do the development of my site and to try and interact with my clients.
I am interested to know how one interacts with the clients. Posting pre designed ads is not getting the results and I suppose could be classed as spam with not much interest. Ideally I need to interact with clients and hopefully direct them to the right solution for them.
I would appreciate if you could guide me in the direction that best suits the interaction
Taylor Bonds13/09/2016 #93 Aurorasa Sima#92 And you could help me understand what your hive is about. When I looked there was a quote or meme, another article and mainly posts by you. Therefore, I thought it´s a UX hive and you are witness to the fact that I don´t have much to add to that topic.
Fly then, little bee, and bring home that honey. As long as it´s qualified sales and B2B, the posts don´t have to be about storytelling.
Storytelling, Emotional Intelligence (Vulnerability, Empathy ...), Sales.
PS: There might be administerial equity in your future (;13/09/2016 #92 John Vaughan#89 Yes, @Aurorasa Sima - the Bell Labs example could be called an intranet, since it was intended to bring "affinity" attributes to a workplace/collaboration-oriented environment.
I will continue to address 'the issues', but since beBee does not value design or usability contributions with ambassadorial equity, I will not continue to post solutions here.
I like the idea of 'story seekers" and have joined. I've crafted some (in my mind) interesting and valuable solutions for the interactive sales & marketing arena and will post references to those when I've crafted an article.
It's the whole 'cross-pollination' thing.12/09/2016 #90 Aurorasa Sima#83 I think the mass tag thing is pasé, the hives will fill and until changes have been made, people will learn to be disciplined enough to only join hives they care about or check less popular business hives proactively for new content.
I tagged you earlier (: In an anti-tagging honey (:12/09/2016 #89 Aurorasa Sima#83 Was the Alcatel solution an Intranet? Anyway ..
The level of quality and interaction you are looking for is only possible in closed groups/hives. What Phil and you did (me too), creating hives, is the way to go. I´m sure that conceptual changes are possible that can help the site (yes, content management or something like a table of contents would help. I suggested a number of unread posts next to the hive name) - you know more about that and I hope you will not stop addressing the issues.
Currently, there are not many active English speaking members on here. The percentage of professional:entertaining is ... just like in real life.
beBee has appointed ambassadors, that have the task of promoting the site further.
Quality content like yours or the "all business" hive is needed to invite new members that share your mindset to stay and become active. Feeds from hives do get pushed to users feed. If they don´t see them they are probably part of very active hives, like i.e. "English" or "Lifestyle".
Come, join me https://www.bebee.com/group/story-seekers - I´m all alone.
Personally, I´ve applied the 100-day rule and will see what happens. I also would not write articles for 3 people for unlimited amounts of time.
Besides good communication, I would also like to form business connections.
A part of the people I want to reach will not go to beBee, or maybe with an alter Ego. Top Managers, at least from most corporations, use LI as a static extended business card and I would not see a reason for them to join an affinity-based site, independent of the quality of the structure or its content.
Maybe a few masochistic ones will show up that want to get hit by a bus of salespeople or end their careers by sharing how they read the communist manifesto between Thai massage and binge watching The Walking Dead.
- Producer06/09/2016You said what?!I have heard a lot of chatter on how to express yourself when things go wrong. And having been on both sides of the “correct” option, I thought I might weigh in. Expressing yourself in a tense situation can be difficult in fact it can be...
Comments07/09/2016 #5 Greg RolfeVivien. You expounded nicely on part of my point. What is an appropriate responsible responce? You are correct different cultures different responce but what is appropriate? In your case "deathly email" and no I am not making light as I have also been on the receiving end, but what is the correct responce? Anger? Retribution? Forgiveness? Thinking before the emotion hits helps us process. Thank you.#406/09/2016 #4 Vivian ChapmanIt's a difficult one. The "appropriate" response often means conforming to behavior that is foreign to me. But sometimes I get fed up with people being precious about those of us who have a greater freedom of emotion. I have lived most of my life in the South of England, but I am genetically Welsh. I am naturally emotional, dramatic and wordy. Often, I cause dismay and fear when I am not even feeling all that emotional, and certainly not cross. I talk loudly and wave my arms around (I also have French blood). I gush. The English get very frightened and think I may be insane. Cross over the border into Wales, and I'm quite mild by comparison....06/09/2016 #3 Vivian Chapman...So what I'm saying is, that it is also a question of culture and genes. And sometimes, maybe people shouldn't be quite so demanding that others behave in a way which is appropriate to them. Maybe we should all start accepting each other a little more and stop being control freaks.
Interestingly, I have all my life been extremely good at dealing with, say angry customers, because I see things from their point of view and don't feel threatened. I am also not phased by outbursts from friends or others who are going through it - you know - breakdowns, marriage break ups, whatever. I mean: isn't it more appropriate to scream and threaten to kill yourself if you just discovered your husband had been having an affair behind your back for the last 10 years? Or is it appropriate to sit down calmly and draw up divorce papers? I remember when I was being badly bullied at work, and the CEO was sending me hate mail. I couldn't sleep because I was just lying awake waiting for the letterbox to clank with another letter. (the firm was going bust and he wanted to get rid of as many staff as he could, so as not to have to pay redundancy money!). But I would go into work, after reading his latest poisoned letter, and he would say: "Oh, good morning Vivian. How are you?" (He was very posh and self contained) And I would say: "Oh I'm very well thank you Mervyn" All so nice. So English. You can kill others, quietly, in a civilised, controlled manner. But is that an appropriate manner?
I suppose I'm seeing what you are saying from a slightly different viewpoint.
- Producer01/09/20163 Questions To Ask Before Engaging In Social Media WarNo worries, this is in no way a "you have to" or article. Unsolicited advice tastes a bit like warm beer.`**In Germany, we use hot beer with honey as cold medicine. Some people describe it as a "wonder cure". I´m pretty sure that the beer adds more...
Comments10/09/2016 #32 Lisa GallagherLove the sex question you posed at the beginning @Aurorasa Sima! Great buzz. This stood out, "A little empathy goes a long way. It´s not nice to punch a person that is hurting, right?" A lot to be said about empathy, it sure does go a long way :)) Doors video, LOVE!01/09/2016 #25 Pascal DerrienLove the visual and don't feed the trolls expression on bebee I mute , hide buzz etc...it works mostly it seems aggressive and toxic people are staying well away from me, I don't have time to fight anyway now the latter could be the title of an article now :-) @Aurorasa Sima01/09/2016 #24 Don KerrVery good advice here @Aurorasa Sima. I might add one that comes from our learning in mindfulness. It is called the S.T.O.P. exercise and we try to employ it whenever something gets stuck in our craw. It is simple and highly effective. Stop what you're doing. Take a few deep breaths. Observe physical sensations on in-breath and out-breath. Proceed - try to stop more. It's just another take on the count-to-10 rule before reacting but it adds the element of being aware of what happens when your MPC has the potential to go offline. Will share.01/09/2016 #21 Aurorasa Sima#18 Yes, he´s vicious. If you google "swan asboy" you find pictures of him attacking people, cars, even a cow - everything. The original problem swan was "Mr. Asbo". They evicted Mr Asbo and thought it will be all lovey lovey again. Turned out his son is even worse, hence the name. British papers speak of "Three generations of terror". @Praveen Raj Gullepalli
- Producer27/08/2016WILL YOU BELIEVE IT BEE'S DO STING!Have you heard that saying; "O come on grow a pair!" Another is; "Get over it!" But mom I just got stung by a bee! Well son guess what, bee's do sting!How many times a day are you offended? I probably get offended around twenty to thirty times a...
Comments29/08/2016 #31 Robert Bacal#30 OK, @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian If your point is that being offended is a CHOICE, then that's a hugely important point for personal health. Where I have a problem with what you wrote is "what we should be offended by". There is no should in this land. Should is part of imposing one's will and judgment on another, and while we all do it, and I do it, it's a dicey thing to determine what a person SHOULD be offended by, and not. Often that is used as THE excuse when translated into "you are being too sensitive" which is clearly judgmental, even if it is true in one person's opinion.29/08/2016 #30 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#29 True, many abusers hide behind the "But, that's not what I meant," excuse. What I mean is that there is a difference between what we CHOOSE to be offended by and what we SHOULD be offended by. The difference is difficult to explain, but easy enough to see. Writers have a responsibility to write what they mean. Readers have a responsibility to grow a little thicker skin. There is too much, "I don't agree so I'm offended," going on in social media.
You didn't agree, Robert, but no one can say you were offensive about it.29/08/2016 #29 Robert Bacal#27 @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian I think I disagree. Something can be offensive, and be predictably so, EVEN IF THE SPEAKER/WRITER attends no attack or offense. See https://www.bebee.com/producer/@robert-bacal/the-subtleties-of-verbal-abuse-and-we-all-do-some-of-them for more. You are probably aware that abuse, physical or otherwise is often excused as unintentional, and it's often the excuse of batterers in domestic violence.29/08/2016 #27 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#22 Just to be clear, I am of the opinion that MOST offense is simply interpreted as such. SOME offense is obviously deliberate. There is a difference but it is difficult to define. Like pornography vs. nude art, you recognize it when you see it.
Sometimes, you just need to take another look after you cool off. If it still pisses you off...29/08/2016 #25 Nicholas FesterHi Phil. Thanks for your contribution. It also makes me think of the old saying; "Let's agree to disagree" Agreement is not easily to get when you have more than one person around. I guess that's where the idea of voting came from. I guess a law professional would have a lot to say about the power of agreement. But true character is shown in moments of disagreement. How many friendships have been broken over silly disagreements. This is where emotional intelligence helps a lot, also being self aware. There are times when we do have the power just to bite our tongues and carry on. #2229/08/2016 #22 Phil Friedman@Nicholas Fester - It's interesting that you say you feel offended maybe twenty times a day, but choose not to say anything. I have to say I think that is good choice, for as @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian View more@Nicholas Fester - It's interesting that you say you feel offended maybe twenty times a day, but choose not to say anything. I have to say I think that is good choice, for as @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian points out, taking offense to something is an act that is within one's internal control. Personally, rarely, if ever am I "offended" by something someone says. But I do sometimes strongly disagree with statements that are made. And in such cases will express such disagreement. For I believe that people who write and read, yet pass only pat's and strokes back and forth, are talking AT one another, not engaging in conversation. Without question, that is each person's personal prerogative. But if you and others reach beyond that personal choice, and seek to quell any and all politely-expressed dissenting comment by creating a culture of repression (albeit cloaked as gentle concern for the sensitivities of others), then I do I, indeed, object to that, whether you like it or not. Perhaps, there should be a "sticker" to use at the top of a post that says, "Warning: the Author of this post neither invites, nor accepts disagreement in any form. If you're not prepared to post a positive comment, don't bother reading this." This is not to say that I in any way endorse personal attacks or abusive language. But to fail to distinguish between that and civil disagreement seems to me an increasingly common, and ultimately pernicious failure. Cheers! Close29/08/2016 #20 Praveen Raj GullepalliLOL! That must have taken some soul searching Nick! Yes indeed, we don't really need another irritant in our lives; haven't we enough already? ;) But you nailed the sting thing alright! Thankfully I (still) find it very congenial in here...as cosy and welcoming, as inspiring and informative, as intellectually stimulating and challenging as it was on day one. So it is with happy anticipation always that I log in a few hundred times a day ;) beBee is more about thinking and communicating than showing off skills and attitudes. And the daily new influx of mind-boggling talent and professionalism is inspiring, to say the least! Being personal here means being more open, transparent and honest about oneself; and being professional means being more sharing, more interactive and more engaging with peers and peer groups and those who you befriend along the way. those are the two sides and together, the differentiator. Let me read your buzz again and cackle a wee bit more :)29/08/2016 #19 Mark AnthonyGreat way of putting it @Nicholas Fester! All to often I see people getting into extremely heated exchanges unnecessarily, in my opinion. However, there are some comments and/or posts that suggest some abhorent things. I have to say, I haven't seen any on beBee to date. And, even if I did I would either ignore, or report. I really like @Pamela L. Williams take on saying things nice.Another that always sticks with me is, "If you can't do it/say it with love then, don't do/say it at all. Thank you for the post.28/08/2016 #18 Pamela L. Williams@Nicholas Fester, a MOST EXCELLENT post! I try to live by the adage; if you can't say something nice, then shut up! That doesn't mean we all have to agree. I like a good debate, but it can be done with civility. I admire people that can word there comments in a way that leaves no doubt they disagree but they do it in a way that you can't help but appreciate their words. I recently came across such a comment and was compelled to email the person and tell them how much I appreciated and enjoyed the comment. I do not call myself a Christian but I was raised in large part by a Christian minister (my grandfather). It was he that taught me tolerance for other's beliefs. He had strong convictions in his own beliefs and also said this: We live the best life we can, stand by our convictions, and when the day comes and I stand before my Lord, I'll know what or who was right. We must live in our truth, but everyone has their own truth.
Personally, I can't name two people of faith that believe everything exactly alike.
When it's all said and done; one day we'll either know the full truth or we won't. Until then, I let other's have their truth and all I can do is try to relate.28/08/2016 #17 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDI am a Christian Doctor bee but don't sting me for either one (does that make me a 'double-bee?'): Sharing to Hives: "Emergency Room" and "Dr Margaret Aranda: For NewBeeZ" (great for those new here & "Welcome!") and "Invisible Illnesses" as many of my recruits will be disabled or will have suffered aplenty. Just food for medical though: when someone gets an allergic reaction to a bee sting, the need for an EpiPen®️ is due to rapid swelling of the lips, tongue, and vocal cords, which are likely to cause suffocation. If the patient can't swallow due to vocal cord swelling, this is a harbinger of badness to follow. So act quick, and call 911 (USA) or 011 (UK) before you think it is necessary. This same reaction occurs when children, for example, have an anaphylactic reaction to eating peanuts. Get the children to the ER faster, as their airways and little bodies are extremely fragile when it comes to airway rescue. Thank you. Tommy McElroy, MD, Charles David Upchurch for additions prn (prn = "as needed").
- 28/08/2016@Joel Stein for Time Magazine. This is an in-depth article showing how ugly online hate and trolling are becoming... especially on platforms like FB and Twitter that do not allow trolls to be blocked or silenced by their targeted victims. The way I see it, the issues explored here are good evidence for why beBee needs to stay unbalanced, and keep up its current biases: pro-love, pro-respect, and pro-kindness.
Comments29/08/2016 #5 Brian McKenzieI do love how it took them an entire paragraph to whitewash trolling as a male event and misogynist..... when the named troll against the author was a female. Time lost any credibility when they Named Hitler Man of the Year - they completely missed (or were paid not to talk about) the Millions of dollars that the US is spending in 'TROLLING" under the guise of 'Information Warfare' against Russia - 3 facilities in Europe, 1 dedicated Domestic Agency and hundreds more on payroll across the Alphabet soup agencies. Pure blather and twattle.29/08/2016 #3 Robert BacalWe all need to continue our education on what constitutes online verbal abuse - it's not disagreement, and it's often subtle and involves mobbing (a number of people ganging up on the "victim". Stories of suicides, particularly among the young and vulnerable abound. It is NOT harmless to verbally abuse others online.29/08/2016 #2 Brian McKenzieToo many thin skinned Nancy Pants think that if you disagree with them - it should be a hate crime. The solutions is more debate clubs and classes - where people actually learn to argue with facts, evidence and history rather than feelings, emotions and unicorn poop. When your ideology can't stand up to the facts and real world events - and you push to ban / censor - you are a tyrant - a petty one to be sure, but still a tyrant.
- Producer24/08/2016Spunky Old Broad Indeed!Originally published February 2015; recent events helped me decide to post it here now. ***************Did you know that February is "Spunky Old Broads" month? I sure didn’t, but according to Claire LeSage, it is! And when I read her short piece, I...
Comments24/08/2016 #13 Tausif MundrawalaPeople very easily label children as arrogant, introvert, and clumsy. What they don't know is that child as a whole. I have encountered people doing it and many a times dissuaded them to not hurt them. We need to nurture these tiny beings so that they grow up as an intellectual beings rather than living up to those pathetic labels. Thanks for bringing forth this subject, Susan.24/08/2016 #11 Tausif MundrawalaPeople very easily label children as arrogant, introvert, and clumsy. What they don't know is that child as a whole. I have encountered people doing it and many a times dissuaded them to not hurt them. We need to nurture these tiny beings so that you grow up as an intellectual beings rather than living up to those pathetic labels. Thanks for bringing forth this subject, Susan.24/08/2016 #10 Franci Eugenia HoffmanSpunky old broad - that's hilarious! Of course it could be worse. It could be grumpy old broad. lol Perfect post @Susan Rooks and we are learning more about online social etiquette everyday. No bullying and no labeling!
signed Franci - the spunky ditsy blond24/08/2016 #9 Deb HelfrichI've said it before, but it bears repeating - I fall just a tiny bit more in appreciation of you each time I read a non-grammatically themed post. Those puppies age gems, but having a the opportunity to have a written person chat with you lights up my day, @Susan Rooks!
The response to recent events is simply about awareness and, hey, that is what the whole month-of concept is all about. A general way to offer each person a moment to self-reflect.
signed Deb - the spunky redheaded step-philosopher24/08/2016 #7 Paul "Pablo" Croubalian#5 Nope, May 28th, 2015 on LI. June 7 for my first long-form post. Twitter took three kicks at the can before "getting" it. It only took off in late-August or early-September even though I started on May 28th as well.
beBee was by far the easiest platform to get a read on. Maybe it's because it was my third. Maybe because it really IS easier. Maybe both?
- Producer22/08/2016I Love Teddy Bears, Sassy Kittens, and beBee: Don't You?My sassy kitten would like a moment of your time. Please indulge him. He's normally cute and cuddly, but, as you can see, something's affecting his usual sunny disposition. I'll let him explain.With growth, comes change.beBee has focused on growth,...
Comments22/08/2016 #17 Kevin Pashuk@Randy Keho as the voice of reason... What the hell happened while I was away from beBee for a few days????
Actually, a timely and well crafted response to what I've been observing from the sidelines for the past few days.
Well done Randy... but I'm more of a dog person myself.22/08/2016 #14 Lisa Gallagher@Randy Keho you wrote, "We've been afforded the opportunity to become role models and an example of hope in a cyber world. A world we've come to know as beBee. That, my fellow bees, is within our reach. Let's not blow it." Well said. Glad to hear no teddy bears or kittens were injured during writing LOL22/08/2016 #10 Anonymous#8 This is why you're so awesome and why I like you so much even though we are so dissimiliarly the same! Now, where's my rainbow shitting Unicorn. :) oops, better read the article now; sometimes comments pop out on my most serious of days to remind me to laugh and I'm backwards and start there before reading.22/08/2016 #8 Brian McKenzieGroup dynamics - tis why I am mostly unsocial, why I dream of dystopia and fantasize about a giant asteroid / comet / meteor. * This message brought to you courtesy of Grumble Pot - Your home of the NO cute kittens, cuddly teddy bears, magic rainbows, glittered sparkles, lovey-dovey hearts or effervescent bubbly quotes Guarantee.
- 21/08/2016I have something to share- I've noticed lately there seems to be a pack of wolves who are gaining more traction. Please don't become a pack animal. I prefer humans. I prefer humans who have empathy, can admit to their mistakes (we all make them) and we aren't usually in attack mode. Sometimes attacks are unprovoked and it's not fair to anyone. As a side note, don't take yourself too serious all the time. Many of us use social media aside from business to unwind. I've made my share of errors online but I'd like to think we learn from our errors and move forward. Anyone who finds this offensive, please unfollow me. I am not on here for popularity. I'm on here to meet and interact with like-minded people. If I read and comment on your buzz, it's because it truly interested me. If my comments don't align with your buzz, well we all perceive messages differently when reading- the message can be fuzzy if my brain is tired and I'm reading when I should be sleeping. Peace out~
Comments23/08/2016 #74 Margaret Aranda, MD, PhDNot having read anyone else's comments (per my own style and training), Hey! Three cheers for making yourself known! It's fine that not all will quite understand the context, aside from that ...I'm tired too. As women, we particularly need to keep our guards up to keep even on the scale from 1 - 10, with the 'worst' being bullying at #1, and a smooth "10" for just being humane and supportive. I'll take it one step further to note that the sociology of a wolf/wolf pack is book matter galore. And I must mention Oopsies...I have to go Inbox someone a note. ;-).23/08/2016 #73 Robert Bacal#62 I removed the post and link. In my attempt to provide Phil a heads up, I posted the link to the post about him being a paid troll in this thread, which was disrespectul and distracted from Lisa's content. I believe it's important to take a stand against abuse, whether one likes the parties involved, or do not. Oneof the essential parts of reducing bullying in society is for bystanders to say, directly or indirectly, that the behavior is not appropriate.22/08/2016 #71 Don KerrMy response has been published on my post. I am curious though - an alternative to innuendo is to name those whom you deem part of the 'pack'. Perhaps I am one. I don't know. Regardless, I am taking @John White, MBA View moreMy response has been published on my post. I am curious though - an alternative to innuendo is to name those whom you deem part of the 'pack'. Perhaps I am one. I don't know. Regardless, I am taking @John White, MBA advice and going for a nice long walk with my boys all the while though keeping eyes wide open for any wildings who may swoop down upon us. Close22/08/2016 #64 Andrew PorterYou know life is funny there are some people we like then there are some people we dislike, then someone may comment or say something we like 'great' but then someone may comment or say something we dislike....well we may not like it but we get over it and move on, 'whats my point'.....my point is there is no reason in going over old ground, when we should be capable of just moving on!!22/08/2016 #63 Robert Bacal#62 I'm not sure I understand your question @Deb Helfrich but I'll try. First, I'm not party to the context or background of the fellow's post. Neither do I know what exchanges were involved. As for your question, maybe it depends on context? And whether the person has access to the conversation in which they are mentioned (maligned). This exchange we are having now is open to Phil if he chooses, but he prefers to "answer" in his other posts, and call in the pack. I don't know. Sometimes it seems like there's talking behind people's backs, and gossip goes on a lot. In the link I posted the poster hints at Phil being a paid troll, which is not only bizarre as an accusation, but it's something I've never seen in all my years on the Internet. Does this answer the question?22/08/2016 #62 Deb Helfrich@Robert Bacal, I'd be interested in your pro and con list because I think referencing another individual in a discussion they aren't participating in is something you might be opposed to. Do I agree with all that what said by this individual? No. But I saw him receiving mean-spirited attention that may easily be perceived as being because of having a non-standard career or his beliefs. I'll just keep stating my point clearly - There is room for us all.22/08/2016 #61 Robert BacalI thought long and hard about posting (https://thechurchofrocknroll.org/2016/08/13/how-to-properly-burn-a-bridge/ View moreI thought long and hard about posting (https://thechurchofrocknroll.org/2016/08/13/how-to-properly-burn-a-bridge/ this link, but Phil needs to know it exists, because the article contains both profanity, AND it's a REAL character assassination attempt aimed at Phil, by apparently, someone who doesn't even know him. I know Phil has read this thread, and since I can't contact him privately, I figured I'd risk posting it here. It is, bottom line, a completely disgusting post. But it is feedback of a sort, and it illustrates a simple point: Angry behavior begets angry behavior. Close22/08/2016 #58 Robert BacalLisa Gallagher, there is no greater validation of the wolf pack, when Phil, last night, summoned it out of the ether to garner support. The technical name for this is mobbing, actually, or at least trying to do so. Here's his magical spell of wolf pack summoning. FYI: @Milos Djukic, @Javier beBee, @Juan Imaz, @Matt Sweetwood, @John White, MBA, @Jim Murray, @David Grinberg, @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian, @Dean Owen, @Mamen Delgado.22/08/2016 #56 Praveen Raj GullepalliI have missed some action lately and some recent conversations made me go back and look this one up @Lisa Gallagher. I come to beBee to read stuff interesting, informative, thought provoking and if inspired by what I read, I share some thoughts of mine to add to the conversation. And produce a little, thought permitting. This is both a personal and professional platform that mixes up both interestingly! And that is the attraction. Be it saccharine or saline ;) But the whole point is to understand, accept, question or clarify as appropriate, without getting into an ego trip. I liked @Randy Keho when he said just switch of the channel if you don't like it rather than be judgmental...this is just like the real world!. There are many wonderfully zany, richly experienced, pedantic, insightful, thoughtful, thought-provoking and wise bees here, along with others! But the best part is that everyone would learn something and make some meaningful connections no matter what, given time. On beBee, everyone should, a Learner and Teacher be! But no stings attached! :) Hugs to ALL you guys!