- Producer13/04/2017New Hive: Toxicity at workToxicity at work: Nobody can say didn’t see it or suffer it in any way. It seems that toxic people create toxic environments and vice-versa. A lot has been written about the issue, but still is present in our day-to-day lives. Together with Ali...
Comments14/04/2017 #17 Steve Brady#14 @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, thank you for tagging/mentioning me in comment you made relating to this buzz regarding "Toxicity at Work" I appreciate your support for my fledgeling forays into writing about Restorative Justice. This paradigm of justice is not just a Restorative alternative to conventional Justice which is largely retributive, but it is also very adaptable to work cultures. Toxicity and pervasive conflict can creep into any workplace. It is soul-destroying to experience this, and for the affected organisation it opens the doors to decreased staff performance, loss of skilled employees and managers who are repeatedly having to "put out fires". A Restorative approach intentionally builds culture - it collectively reflects an ethos that says "this is the way we do things here": professional relatioships matter, we treat colleagues with respect, and in the inevitable "fires" that ignite, there are processes to deal with them that are respectful and accountable. I sincerely believe it's the way to go for any organisation.14/04/2017 #15 Anonymous#11 To your words "That's very bad, but how to handle it? Most of the time I try to ignore this person, thinking "Poor fellow", but sometimes I can't..."
I can answer by now...this is why we created this hive, for everyone to share their knowledge/experiences....I am sure with all the "material" we have already, and the more to come, we will be able to get ready a "set of tools" to handle it14/04/2017 #14 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#10 You understood the point I wanted to make, @David Navarro López. Acts of toxicity tend to poison an entire micro-climate. I say this quite a lot in regards to some of the shenanigans we witness as a community. An act of aggression against one person, almost never hurts just that one directly targeted person.
In fact, when we look at ourselves as mammals, it is easier for our nervous system to literally shake off a direct attack, but bystanders who aren't physically harmed but who mentally replay what they witnessed or emotionally feel as though they should have acted differently will suffer long term consequences.
I feel one of the cornerstones of how to ultimately quell toxicity in groups of people is to constantly reinforce that just a tiny dose affects all the team members and that everyone has a different nervous system and will respond to threats, even those vaguely understood, with some form of shut-down.
An optimally producing team is one full of open communication, where nobody has to waste time wondering how to avoid someone else's buttons. And where if someone inadvertently crosses a line, the group discusses it via the framework of restorative justice that our colleague @Steve Brady is currently writing a lot about.
Too much punishment for minor infractions because a leader wants to avoid difficult conversations or attempt to prevent people from having any freedom will also create toxicity - of a stale, stagnant, lifeless variety.14/04/2017 #11 Katja BaderOnly one bad tempered person can rush down the motivation and good mood of many others. When you feel the negative position from the first step you do in your office to the finishing time, your own positive ideas smashed down with doubts and imprudent criticism, after a time your motivation has gone and you're doing your work without pleasure. It maybe possible that you bring this bad mood at home.
That's very bad, but how to handle it? Most of the time I try to ignore this person, thinking "Poor fellow", but sometimes I can't...14/04/2017 #10 Anonymous#9 Thank you very much to share this experience with us, dear Deb. The violence act you mentioned, if it had happened to me, I would not have resisted so long like you did. Your words "When small and early signs of bad behaviour aren't addressed, things can escalate to the point when attempted assault becomes nothing more than hushed whispers." are remarkable, and it deserves a whole chapter on the buzz we are about to write.
Please keep on buzzing and sharing, so everyone will share other experiences for the good of all.14/04/2017 #9 Deb 🐝 HelfrichThere was one incident in my work history that stands out, with a level of toxicity I still don't comprehend. My 2nd job after college was in a large law firm in DC in a small HR dept of around 8. I was a fish out of water, in many respects, but we do have to have experiences where we learn that fact. Part of my job was assigning the floater legal secretaries in the morning, based on when the permanently assigned secretaries would call in sick. So I got to know them pretty well.
One fateful day, one of the lawyers with a charging bull reputation, picked up one of those heavy, weighted tape dispensers and threw it to get her temp secretary's attention. 'The story' was that she just threw it at the paneled desk. But it flew over the 5 foot high desk, missed the secretary's (who was on a phone call with another attorney she worked with the previous day - who heard the bang) head by a couple inches and broke the wheel of the manual typewriter. Not a flimsy, plastic modern keyboard - it broke the metal flywheel of a typewriter. (Part of this lawyers bull-related persona was refusing to upgrade to word processors.)
Administration did nothing. The head met with us in HR and said we were not to ever assign that secretary not only to that particular atty, but to any of the others in that section of the firm. The secretary was supposed to just forget it. She was so used to lawyer's aggressive ways, she did let the issue pass without much hoopla.
Plausible deniability was the justification.
I became so sick at work, I had to quit within a few months.
When small and early signs of bad behavior aren't addressed, things can escalate to the point when attempted assault becomes nothing more than hushed whispers.13/04/2017 #8 Anonymous#7 You can choose to share your thoughts whether in a comment/sharing a link on a comment in this buzz, or sharing a post, yours or not, in the hive.
The idea is to collect different points or view about "different kinds of toxicity, inception, prevention and healing."
Within the boundaries of good taste, any issue can be discussed, as we all have learned here at Bebee, so, no worries.
About this issue, @Javier 🐝 beBee shared a nice buzz maybe you missed https://www.bebee.com/producer/@javierbebee/differences-between-bees-and-wasps-diferencias-entre-abejas-y-avispas-en-es#c3613/04/2017 #7 Robert CormackIt's a good idea, @David Navarro Lopez, except I thought "Comments" were where you could make—or point out—toxic posts. I'm worried that a forum devoted to toxicity may create a new breed of toxic specific people (personally, I think they should stay on WriteBeat).13/04/2017 #6 Mohammed A. JawadUndeniably, we will find toxicity everywhere. ..in people, in culture and in systems. When we hammer ourselves with tolerance and reciprocate with patience and wisdom, then that's a fine art. On the contrary, when we start playing tit-for-tat with nonsensical way, then we mess ourselves with dirty politics.
- Producer27/03/2017The Beauty of RheomodesImage Credit: Jakub Rostkowski If you're like me, when you first saw the title of this post: The Beauty of Rheomodes, I think you can be excused for thinking, "What the heck is a Rheomode?" I think it's a strange word that sounds like it's a...
Comments04/04/2017 #15 Deb🐝 LangeDear @Steve Brady - yes! i have volunteered in South and West Africa, and stayed with Zulu people in home stays. there is another word, "Ubuntu" - means the same - i see you. Where I went, the people greet you with "Ubuntu" - I see you - instead of, "hi, how how are you" - which is pretty meaningless for most people in western society.04/04/2017 #14 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#11 #12 I am glad you did mention me. The concept of Sawbonna is transformational.
It is actually all about the respect that is exchanged when we listen to how someone experienced a situation, acknowledge 'see' how they felt, and work to bring a sense of continuation that things will flow forward with this new, shared, gained perspective in 'mind'
We modern types like to think of closure coming from the courts, but I know that true healing is what you describe - justice as a river flowing forward with community intent that past mistakes are learned from.04/04/2017 #11 Steve Brady#1 Dear Ali...What an honour ....To share insights with you! As you commented with @Harvey Lloyd, I believe that the ethos behind Restorative Justice is best embodied in the Zulu term Sawbonna, "I see you". I'm not a businessman, but this must be a liberating, creative, and prosperous paradigm for relationships between businesses and clients. Please note that I am indebted to Margot Van Slutyman for teaching me this concept.04/04/2017 #9 Steve Brady#5 Harvey, your comment is music to my eyes. I feel like I'm on a journey of discovery. I'd like to journey with you! I find that your comments "push" or stimulate a search for more understanding and clarity. You're right when you note that my Restorative Justice writing has its roots in Education culture, and recently more widely in traditional Judicial Processes. However, I feel the "story" is much wider. I don't believe "Justice" is a static entity. It's more like a river. I value your exploration with me. Grab your canoe!03/04/2017 #8 Steve Brady#7 Hi Deb, thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me. I feel like Ive got "gestating" content within me, being formed, latent for birth. The encouragement and acceptance I am blessed with here at beBee is like an incubator, or even better metaphorically, a "womb"! You're a blessing Deb. Please feel free to offer advice regarding buzz composition and clarity. Epistemology is very important to me. That's why the rheomodal approach to language is such an important paradigm to me. I love creative, beautiful, and liberating language. Sadly though I find that language can also obscure reality. Language as a "map" is not the "territory". That's why the depth of engagement you've always encouraged is so vital. We all need each other in various ways.03/04/2017 #7 Deb 🐝 Helfrich@Steve Brady - I have reread this stimulating post a number of times. The concept of re-storying is so important to all that is wrong in our modern society and the way it seems poised to just continue on a worsening trajectory.
While I continue to marinate on all the ramifications of how to extend my ability to listen to and voice multiple stories in context, this is am important buzz to re-circulate in our feeds today.27/03/2017 #5 Harvey Lloyd#3 I believe that this concept may have further potential in our writing and our ongoing customer, team and leadership narrative, @Ali Anani. Although i sense that @Steve Brady is discussing a restorative nature of our criminal justice system, i know we all run into the negative story within our professional lives. This process may present some opportunities to our processes within a proactive paradigm. Catching the negative early and introducing RJ may not just resolve issues but also redirect the narrative.
I am reading with interest as any process that would assist at the deeper levels of justice and the more professional levels of our livelihood can only make us better leaders.27/03/2017 #4 Deb🐝 Lange@Steve Brady great post. I am a David Bohm fan - especially his work on circle dialogue which I learnt to facilitate some time ago. sitting in a circle looking at the centre listening to people speak creates collective conversation where people can share their stories and be heard.Another powerful process in restorative justice.The act of listening, not judging is so powerful. The act of listening to all stories is so powerful. Keep up the great work.27/03/2017 #2 Harvey LloydConflict resolution may learn something from the processes demonstrated here. RJ seems to offer a forum of discussion that would allow managers and leaders a way to open up dialogue in fine tuning teams, departments and growth. Possibly even within customer communications.27/03/2017 #1 Ali AnaniAn amazing post like this one deserves our great attention. Sometimes the vagueness of a word in the title may discourage the reading of a buzz. In my case it attracted me to find out the heck what it means.
Rheomodes for may is visualization and transformation of words and stories so that new perspectives may emerge. Thank you @Steve Brady for teaching me a new way of giving words an action by re-story them. Shared proudly
- Producer20/03/2017"I 'became' that naughty boy" “You little sh*ts. I send my son to school expecting him to be safe and he has to put up with you two.” I could feel the shame rise in my gut, then through my chest. I could hardly raise my head, though I did, just for...
Comments27/03/2017 #16 Steve Brady#15 Thanks @Claire L Cardwell. RJ interventions are like intimate "Truth and Reconciliation" meetings! The good news is that RJ is being implemented into many schools. I think though that RJ still has a way to go in ensuring high quality Facilitator training, coaching and care for them. Also, the literature I've read highlights that "Restorative" can mean different things to different people. Understanding and implementing this is a vital stage on the journey for all of us to 'do Justice better". Thanks for your comment 😊20/03/2017 #13 Harvey Lloyd#12 The environment must be offset by the strength of parenting. I grew up in a rural environment and had strong parents that prepared me for the world. I sense in our world today the environment has eclipsed the strength in parenting. Core values are assumed and suggested that education enhances them. I see parents everyday that struggle with this notion of core values in their children were inherited. Part of our generational issues are the fact that we are not handing down these core values.
Where these core values exist i would suggest that the RJ system would work quite well. Where they don't i would assume core values would need to be instilled first. But that is a debate that will rage for eternity.20/03/2017 #12 Steve Brady#11 Hi Harvey, I appreciate your interest in Restorative Justice (RJ) and my foray into the world of blogging or "buzzing". RJ is still emergent and developing, and your comments regarding environment are critical to understanding why people do the things they do. On occasions I have thought that if I was born in a city suburb where gangs and violence were an issue, instead of being born in a coastal city to middle class parents, I may have had a very different life. I could be typing my reply to you while sitting in my jail cell. Thank you for being willing to be tagged in future buzzes. I certainly appreciate your perspectives.20/03/2017 #11 Harvey LloydThanks for the tag @Steve Brady. This sounds like a worthy effort and the first i have heard of such a project. I do believe that many actions happen and folks don't realize the ripple effect they cause through their community or to others.
Most of my studies inside the cognitive behavior of others and myself have lead me to believe that the environment is the root cause of such incidents whereby others are hurt. Clearly we are all born with specific bents towards life and others. But the environment has such a great influence on our behavior.
I do believe that RJ has its place in our judiciary system. But there is a ground swell of environmentally lead personas that giving people the "right" to harm others because of different views, appearances and professions. This is one of the group think spin off symptoms.
I look forward to reading about RJ in your upcoming posts. Please continue to tag me. I find any new approaches to deterring social anxiety welcome.20/03/2017 #10 Steve Brady#1 Hi Deb. Thanks for your reply....and your your last sentence was music for my eyes! To raise awareness of Restorative Justice, or any form of justice that brings healing accountability, hears and cares for those harmed, and ultimately helps us all to build a more humane society, is my primary goal. I also want to share the passion I have for this type of reform. My personal view, and that of RJ4ALL is that we don't seek to be abolitionist regarding conventional justice administration. There will always be those that for whatever reason need to be incarcerated for the safety of the community. However, I also believe that even the most damaged of us can be healed, at least to some degree. The evidence is stacked against the efficacy of retributive, or punitive justice, but reform in schools, organisations, and our courts still has a journey ahead of it.20/03/2017 #9 Steve Brady#2 Thanks for your encouragement, Deb. I'm enjoying my initial forays into the art and science of producing buzzes/blogs. I agree wholeheartedly with your comments regarding reconnecting with our senses. I'm a classic case of my childhood and teenage years somehow turning me into a head being carried around on a body! I'm under "reconstruction" now..20/03/2017 #7 Steve Brady#5 Thanks so much for your encouragement Sara. Thank you for sharing your experience with therapy and psychodrama. I'd appreciate any feedback you ever have for me (both positive and helpfully critical!!).
I guess that like me you have found role plays and psychodramas to be such a powerful way of engaging people with "inner and outer" truths they weren't possibly even aware of..20/03/2017 #5 Sara JacoboviciGreat piece @Steve Brady, great work. I was around when Restorative Justice was first being discussed and workshops were being offered. I attended a workshop and was once asked to act as "witness" when a person trained in RJ came to my work place for an employee. As a therapist, I have also done some training and have co-led psychodrama groups. And the same with the exercise, which van der Kolk calls a “structure” but which is also known as psychomotor therapy, developed by Albert Pesso. The reason I am mentioning all this Steve, is to acknowledge the great work you are doing as someone familiar with the topic. I find your first post on the subject well written and communicated. I look forward to your future posts.20/03/2017 #3 Deb🐝 LangeWell done @Steve Brady yes the body can sense what is going on when we start to notice through our senses. Role plays, improvisation, many doing, being activities enable this kind of sensory awareness to surface. It is far more effective than "just" talking about the behaviour, or having a lecture. Being, sensing, doing, feeling, noticing, voicing, smelling, touching, intuiting are all visceral, hence change our sense of being.20/03/2017 #1 Deb 🐝 HelfrichThese sort of role-playing scenarios are fantastic teachers. Thank you, @Steve Brady, for a great example that might allow someone to step out of their shoes as social media harmer into the emotions of someone shamed via excessively personal critiques for simply writing about a topic important to them or their business.
The concept of sitting in a circle, allowing everyone affected to voice how they felt is tremendously powerful. I've never been convinced that punishment did much, especially as far removed as it is from the 'crime' based on the setup of our current legal system. But I know that restaging can allow people on both sides of the action to have a better feeling for how the events that unfolded resonated within everyone, even bystanders.
I'll be watching out for a lot more information on how to bring more restorative justice to the world.
- Producer31/01/2017Pass me my lever, quickly!There's a famous quote attributed to Archimedes: "Give me a place to stand and with a lever I will move the whole world." (1) Archimedes of Syracuse (c. 287 BC – c. 212 BC) was a Greek mathematician, philosopher, scientist and engineer. He is...
Comments27/03/2017 #36 Steve Brady#34 Hi Harvey, sorry for the delay with my reply. I definitely don't see you as a heckler! I think discussion, banter even, is an important part of learning. When I present RJ training, having a "heckler" or a vocal cynic in the audience can be helpful in clarifying the content have to present, and "thickening my skin". One thing I'd love to note regarding your comment is that RJ can be implemented as a "whole package" not just a first step. I'm drafting a blog entitled "Nuts and Bolts" in which I'll offer a broader view of RJ and the neuroscience that underlies much of the potentiality I've observed many times. Education has traditionally emphasised cognition, as exemplified in the often stated: Was that a good choice? As Daniel Goleman puts it "Cognition is like like a boat on an ocean of emotion" In the blog, I'll cite all this, Harvey. Having mentioned all this though, I am still very interested in your comments and observations. I really appreciate your interest and encouragement as I have a go at this writing thing.22/03/2017 #35 Harvey Lloyd"True Justice can never be achieved through legislation alone. True Justice begins with each of us." This is an impactful statement that we should all heed. When we look at "us" we need leadership. Each day presents new challenges in an ever evolving world. The leadership needs to be individual and something that doesn't change, but is ever constant. For better or worse i know what used to drive this self leadership. Today it appears the new leadership is political and socially driven. This is not constant as you state in your post.
A social experiment is at hand. Doesnt really matter who wins as we will all loose in the end, unless we find that resourceful leadership again.22/03/2017 #34 Harvey Lloyd#10 Sorry if i came across as a heckler. I am truly interested in the RJ process and being able to reach out to at risk youth differently. We have found in our educational unit that we battle the community for any momentum within our students. We have them 5.5 hours a day the community has them the rest.
I would like to see RJ utilized with our staff during the cool down period as a first step of behavioral understanding. Again keep me posted with your updates.20/02/2017 #31 Steve Brady#29 Dear @siraj shaik, thank you very much for your comment and taking the time to tweet my first foray into buzz creating! I'm glad we're connected now too. I must follow you on Twitter as well. I'm glad I was able to refer to Archimedes as well. Greek culture and thought has had a profound impact on the history of the world.18/02/2017 #29 siraj shaik@Steve Brady Sir a well expressed thoughtful article "a panorama of excellence". (Archimedes "Eureka" is related to principle of displacement "buoyancy and fluid dynamics", but didn't heard prior). You have unlocked a key factor thro' sharing this wonderful quote. Gave some time to review. https://twitter.com/DataJunctions/status/832880835070197760 (all I could do on my behalf being a common person added a click to share via tweet).01/02/2017 #26 Steve Brady#24 Thanks for your encouragement @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. I was intrigued with your reference to the lever metaphor and the ripples that were created.. I'd love to dialogue more about this. Deeply lived justice, in spite of political realities (or smokescreens!), is vitally important. I will blog more on this topic and I look forward to your, and many other wise soul's, input.01/02/2017 #24 Lisa 🐝 GallagherI'm so caught up in US politics lately (something I've worked hard to ignore for almost 8 years) so my mind goes to this, The Womens March on Washington. It was peaceful, it had intent and one woman pulled the lever which created a ripple effect. Working together collectively and peacefully, even we differ in many ways is possible with the right leadership/circumstances. Look forward to more @Steve Brady