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  1. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    12/09/2017
    Apple Goes Retro With iPhone 8
    Apple Goes Retro With iPhone 8The Lint Screen has obtained an actual prototype of the long-anticipated Apple iPhone 8, and it is surprising.The new phone model reflects a decidedly retro look and feel. “Tim Cook felt the iPhone design was getting stale,” said an anonymous Apple...
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  2. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/09/2017
    Exclusive Hillary Book Excerpts
    Exclusive Hillary Book ExcerptsThe Lint Screen has obtained an advance copy of Hillary Clinton’s upcoming book, “What Happened” and proudly presents some choice excerpts.“Woke up in Burlington, Vermont. We had breakfast at Ed’s Diner. The media coverage was minimal — a high...
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    Comments

    Paul Walters
    08/09/2017 #5 Paul Walters
    @Patrick Scullin excellent piece thank you
    Brian McKenzie
    08/09/2017 #4 Brian McKenzie
    Stuffed Pantsuit.
    Phil Friedman
    08/09/2017 #3 Phil Friedman
    She blew the election, Jim, because, like most politicians, she listened to and believed the talking heads. Her campaign managers also failed badly when it came to building a strategy around the realities of the Electoral College. However, Hillary did not give us Trump. The rock heads who could not understand that a vote for anyone other than Hillary, and even no vote at all, became de facto a vote for Trump. No, Hillary didn't give us Trump. We in the U.S. gave us Trump. And we may not even live to regret it properly.
    Jim Murray
    07/09/2017 #2 Jim Murray
    Just from reading what you posted I can see how she blew the election. People in America (except for ad guys) want to be promised the moon and the stars. Being realistic has never been the long suit of politicians anywhere. She blew it and she should have known better because she blew it once before and didn't seem to learn from her mistakes. BTW are you guys expected to catch any of this Irma weather?
    Dominique 🐝 Petersen
    07/09/2017 #1 Dominique 🐝 Petersen
    I'm speechless.
  3. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    31/08/2017
    Enforcer Brought Into White House
    Enforcer Brought Into White HouseThe only constant in the Trump White House is constant change.Recently appointed chief of staff Gen. John Kelley announced today he has a new member on his team, Sister Ellen Marie Grace, a retired 86-year-old Catholic nun from St. Mark’s parish in...
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  4. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    29/08/2017
    Giggles Named Sec. Of Fun!
    Giggles Named Sec. Of Fun!No one can accuse Donald J. Trump of not being a great leader. The president announced today that he is appointing a new cabinet member in a newly created government position — Secretary of Fun!White House spokesman Cleve Norburton told The Lint...
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  5. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    24/08/2017
    Trump Declared “Sanest Human Ever”
    Trump Declared “Sanest Human Ever”As the hub-bub continues over the erratic behavior exhibited during the Trump presidency, some have called into question the mental fitness of the Commander-in-Chief.“Anyone who says that is crazy,” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    28/08/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris–– haven't read The Onion for months, did they do something similar?
    Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
    24/08/2017 #1 Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
    Hey, you need to make the necessary attributions before taking articles from The Onion! :-)
  6. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    23/08/2017
    Trump Slams The Lint Screen
    Trump Slams The Lint ScreenLast night, at his pep rally in Phoenix, President Trump told supporters, “Don’t believe the fake media. Everything they say is a lie. Everything! I know. It’s all fake, especially The Lint Screen.”Trump’s complexion changed from orange to red as he...
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  7. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    22/08/2017
    McMaster Proposes Nuclear Strike
    McMaster Proposes Nuclear StrikeNational Security Advisor H.R. McMaster has proposed a nuclear strike target to President Trump, a White House insider told The Lint Screen today.The anonymous source said the target is the corporate offices of Breitbart News Network in Los...
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  8. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    17/08/2017
    Inside The Mind of General Kelly
    Inside The Mind of General KellyUsing a new innovative technology, The Lint Screen has developed a device with the ability to read the minds of mortals.We hacked the skull of General Kelly, the newly-appointed White House Chief of Staff, as he listened to President Trump’s...
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    Comments

    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #7 Kevin Douglas Berg
    #6 The hell it does. UN needs our money, we freaking make the UN, the UN needs to be dissolved because of it so #PLOUN and anti-Semitic. The UN is our money it should be called the USN UN because no one even puts in half of what we do. Screw the UN and regulations and those that go against our Constitution.
    Lyon Brave
    17/08/2017 #6 Lyon Brave
    #5 of course america needs the United Nations and to be regulated.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #5 Kevin Douglas Berg
    No he sold the Country on what he is doing and what he is doing is FUCKING AWESOME =) So sick of trump supporters, you are a Canadian, go with the future of Montrealstan, Ontariostan, Quebecostan. Americans are sick of those that criticize those that are sad that they did not get the American Leader, Minus Benghazi, Seth Rich, Rapist She Got Off, so sorry, HEll NO, TRUMP DOES HAVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLES TRUST, I saw him Speak, it is the ObamaAide You keep drinking from the 'Thrill Up His Legs.' His approval numbers are fine, just get your burqas out and get ready for SHARIA while you watch a real lead do what real leaders do - KICK ASS and ANSWER TO Not the UN or any other Nation. Why, because we are becoming back to Superpower status and if it calls for war in some parts of the world, so be it, when you are armed IRAN and prior to that BJ Clinton with N. Korea so he can get down with Monica, that shit comes back to haunt you. I sleep better at night knowing that he is not liked by the world, I don't want to be like in the world, I want to be a Superpower Again. I don't want a leader that goes off and golfs after someone gets beheaded and stand down when I know we are being attacked and not have a leader that her right handed girl is tied to HAMAS as she wrote to her brother about Hillary Clinton. Wake up and turn off the idiot box, America does not need nor give two shits about the UN and other countries telling us what is right and what is wrong.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #4 Kevin Douglas Berg
    #2 #2 Jim, you say you have no horse in this fight, but you are definitely favoring what we had before. I don't believe I back the wrong horse, I feel that both parties created the mess, and most of the people that voted for him felt the same. No, he is not the wrong horse, actually, he is the right horse, excuse the pun. =P I can see from Canada that you elected your own Obama and also I can see that Montreal looks like England, Sweden, etc and the rest. No, he is not the dark horse, he is a true leader, and I SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT knowing he is backing the USA with as much Bravado, Business Sense and his Kick Ass SOB not Political Bullshit that Hillary and the ClintonMassageLaunderingParlor that we almost had to deal with. I am proud that supports our defense and is going to make us Stronger and does not bow before any 3rd World TIn Pot Dictator and does not invite the BLM, CAIR, and HAMAS in the WhiteHouse. Canada, have fun with the Liberal Crybabies that are trying to become Canadian Citizens because they fear a Strong America. Oh, by the way, he is going to get in #2020. All this bullshit is just hammering his cause and strengthing my resolve that he was sent by g-d himself to correct us from what was SHARI Law Becoming In Power and Obama yikes as a Supreme Court Justice Impostor.
    Jim Murray
    17/08/2017 #3 Jim Murray
    #1 Nice try dude, and I agree the bullshit has to stop. What Trump supporters neglect to acknowledge, in all their reluctance to just admit they backed the wrong horse, is that he is not trying to do his best because he has a disease called chronic narcissism, which means he can only do what's best for himself. This in turn means, he is incapable of actually caring for the people he was elected to serve. I am so sick of Trump supporters posting comments just like yours. All it means it that your myopia on this subject is severe. I have no dog at all in this fight, because I am Canadian. What I see from the outside is complete insanity, total incompetence, egomania off the charts, chronic self-aggrandizement, and the slow but sure erosion of support in both houses of your government. This situation will get worse before it gets better, because while a relatively small minority support him, the vast majority now think he's out to lunch. And frankly if you, as a president, don't have the support of the people in America you have nothing. Yeah, he sold the country on change. But he's a hustler and you all got hustled.
    Jim Murray
    17/08/2017 #2 Jim Murray
    That's about right.
    Kevin Douglas Berg
    17/08/2017 #1 Kevin Douglas Berg
    Why can't we just Trump have a chance and stop making fun of everything that he has trying to do. Seriously the press before was in the hot tub with the past Administration. Trump took their bullshit by the throat and gave it back 10 fold and they are not acting whiny little-spoiled kids that did not get their way. Just give it a rest already. No I did not read the article, and yes I am for Trump, and no I was not for Obama, but I was for Clinton and Against Bush. No, I am not a racist, homophobe, misogynist and the past Administration was really meant on dividing, weakening, and socializing anything and everything. So now, this is what happens when you have a real Parent, Patriot, and someone that wants the USA to Succeed. No, he is not perfect, no he is not a Politician and no he does not play the game, but he is doing the best he can. Fyi I am Jewish, Blue Collar Background, Strong Democratic Ties to Union and Screw Big Corps Brought Up. College Educated and was born to thank those that serve and had no problem saying the Pledge of Allegiance as well as saying Amen whenever I heard the lords Prayer given by anyone. This bullshit has to stop here and now.
  9. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    26/07/2017
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding Campaign
    Behind The Dem’s Bold New Branding CampaignYesterday, the beleaguered Democratic Party unveiled a new rallying cry, and The Lint Screenmet with members of Hiley, Musgrove & Binburner, the famed Washington D.C. political marketing group, to discuss the making of the new branding...
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    Comments

    Sean O'Hare
    26/07/2017 #1 Sean O'Hare
    Hilarious, because that slogan was probably thought up by a teenager on a break from listening to Justin Beiber or even Kim K., and her parents think she's a genius.
  10. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    14/07/2017
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump Sues
    God Says He’s Busy And Can’t Help; Trump SuesTweetstorm to follow.##########################################Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of ASO Advertising.He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop...
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  11. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    07/07/2017
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin Meeting
    Trump’s “Conversation Starters” For Putin MeetingIn an exclusive, The Lint Screen has acquired the list of possible conversation starters President Donald J. Trump will be using for his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit.1.  I won the election in a landslide. Huge...
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  12. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    01/07/2017
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!
    Meme Posted on Facebook Changes Life!If a picture is worth a thousand words, a meme with three letters may be worth a gazillion!In a historic first, a meme has completely changed the world political view of a man in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. It happened on a popular social media...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    02/07/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Good for you, Brian. Rest assured, your health is the #1 concern of this administration! Be well, thanks for reading​ and contributing.
    Brian McKenzie
    02/07/2017 #1 Brian McKenzie
    Hmmm, i might borrow that cat. I did get a letter from the White House about my healthcare proposal, but without a scheduled meeting, I consider it on par with a letter from Publisher's Clearing House claiming that I might already be a winner.
  13. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    20/06/2017
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement Announced
    Sean Spicer’s Replacement AnnouncedJules is known for his uncanny ability to communicate without words.Washington is abuzz with the announcement White House press secretary Sean Spicer will be stepping aside and mime “Jules” will be replacing him.“Sean did a great job,” White House...
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  14. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    08/06/2017
    Comey’s First Draft of Written Testimony Reveals Literary Talent
    Comey’s First Draft of Written Testimony Reveals Literary TalentIn a blockbuster exclusive, The Lint Screen has obtained some notes from the first draft of former FBI Director James Comey’s written testimony. It follows“It was a dark and stormy night. Dark as ink in a windowless closet, wet as a drunk...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    09/06/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Thanks, Jim. I've revised it and think it's better. No plans on moving to Canada... yet!
    Jim Murray
    08/06/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    You're a real card Patrick. When are you moving to Canada?
  15. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    28/05/2017
    Wisdom Imparted On College Grads, An Entire Generation Is Enriched
    Wisdom Imparted On College Grads, An Entire Generation Is Enriched(The following is Patrick Scullin’s commencement address given to the recent graduates of Ohio State University. Enjoy!)Hello. It is an honor being here today. As I stand up here looking out on this enormous crowd of fresh faces, I’m curious how...
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    Comments

    Paul Walters
    29/05/2017 #1 Paul Walters
    @Patrick Scullin irreverent as always...fabulous!
  16. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    24/05/2017
    Bill Forces First Lady To Hold Prez’s Hand
    Bill Forces First Lady To Hold Prez’s HandRep. Emmett Russell III of Alabama has proposed a Congressional bill that would force the First Lady to hold hands with her husband.H.R. 321, “The Palm-to-Palm Act”, would make it a federal law that America’s First Lady must hold the hand of the...
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    Comments

    Patrick Scullin
    28/05/2017 #2 Patrick Scullin
    #1 Great points, @Nicole Chardenet. Thanks for reading and contributing.
    Nicole Chardenet
    24/05/2017 #1 Nicole Chardenet
    I'm afraid this law would likely be ruled unconstitutional and a violation of the Geneva Convention. At least when the President is a Human Cheeto with the personality of a narcissistic donkey!
  17. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    19/05/2017
    Chinos Make Man’s Butt “Look Huge”
    Chinos Make Man’s Butt “Look Huge”Brad Palstettler is not usually prone to anger, but he blew a gasket when he looked in the mirror and saw his backside in his new Chinos.“I don’t have the most athletic body,” the 34-year-old actuary from Pine Bluff, Arkansas told The Lint Screen in...
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    Comments

    Gloria 🐝 🐾 💫 ☕ (Glo) Ochoa
    19/05/2017 #3 Anonymous
    ROTFL! Hubby needs a butt..he is thinking of trying on some Chinos.
    Gloria 🐝 🐾 💫 ☕ (Glo) Ochoa
    19/05/2017 #2 Anonymous
    ROTFL! The title alone caught my attention--so of course I had to read it! Good job Patrick! HUbby needs a butt..he is thinking of trying on some Chinos.
    Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador
    19/05/2017 #1 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador
    And I thought I had problems. Yikes!
  18. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    16/05/2017
    “Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With Russians
    “Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With RussiansPresident Trump is a gracious host — he invented a new parlor game when he hosted Russian bigwigs last week.White House officials confirmed with The Lint Screen the president asked Russian foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov, and the U.S. Russian...
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  19. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    13/05/2017
    New FBI Director Candidate “Looks Perfect”
    New FBI Director Candidate “Looks Perfect”Now that President Trump has taken out the trash by canning FBI Director James Comey, Washington is abuzz with rumors of his replacement. Sources close to the prez have told The Lint Screen the short list is down to two candidates, and the leader is...
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  20. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    01/05/2017
    O’Reilly To Be The Bachelor
    O’Reilly To Be The BachelorRecently fired hothead ‘no-spinster’ Bill O’Reilly has just been signed by ABC to be “The Bachelor” in the network’s blockbuster show.“O’Reilly is a hot property,” Frankie Turminder, ABC’s head of programming told The Lint Screen. “With all the...
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  21. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    19/04/2017
    O'Reilly Outraged At Getting Canned
    O'Reilly Outraged At Getting CannedFox News may have killed Bill O’Reilly, but his gravesite will not be a no-spin zone.In an exclusive interview with The Lint Screen, the megastar opened up about his mistreatment by Fox. “I made those people billions, billions of dollars over the...
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  22. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    17/04/2017
    United Airlines Offering Passenger Insurance
    United Airlines Offering Passenger InsuranceUnited Airlines has had its share of troubles recently, but the company today announced a proactive measure to “get some positive spin and shut the pieholes of crybabies,” according to Max “Biggy” Tempraw, a spokesman.The large man told The Lint...
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  23. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    13/04/2017
    Trump Inauguration Crowd Declared “Largest In History”
    Trump Inauguration Crowd Declared “Largest In History”January 20, 2017, will go down in history as the date Donald J. Trump was sworn in as the 45th President of the United States of America, and also “the day more proud Americans assembled to witness a tremendous moment and new chapter in the glorious...
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    Comments

    Jim Murray
    13/04/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    Very funny. Very sad. I laughed. I cried. It tossed my cookies and then hired an illegal immigrant to clean it up.
  24. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    10/04/2017
    Tide With Clean Coal Is Introduced
    Tide With Clean Coal Is IntroducedGet ready, America, to get your clothes clean — clean coal clean!Today, Tide, the nation’s most popular detergent brand, introduces a revolutionary formula that uses clean coal to do as the launch advertising campaign says and “get clothes clean...
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    Comments

    Kevin Pashuk
    10/04/2017 #2 Kevin Pashuk
    Well done Patrick!
    Jim Murray
    10/04/2017 #1 Jim Murray
    Ha ha ha...You had me going there for a minute. Great clickbait is the sign of a good huckster.
  25. ProducerPatrick Scullin

    Patrick Scullin

    05/04/2017
    Maybe No One Wants You To Join Their Conversation
    Maybe No One Wants You To Join Their ConversationMarketers have told themselves that social media gives them a great opportunity to engage consumers in conversations.Yes, it does. But sometimes, you should keep your damn mouth shut.Witness the recent on-line video boner and spot by Pepsi.The work...
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    Comments

    Paul Walters
    06/04/2017 #11 Paul Walters
    @patrck scullin When I saw the spot I thought Oh no!!! Bad brief interpreted badly by the agency? Glad you pointed out the fact that it was done in - house. An absolute load of shite...its sugar water for Gods sake !!!
    Praveen Raj Gullepalli
    06/04/2017 #10 Praveen Raj Gullepalli
    Super critique! That was quite pat, Patrick. You said it. We have moved from chaos to disorder, from new gen to millennials ...and glam sham still sells! Philosophy becomes fizz...protests become parties. ;)
    Brian McKenzie
    06/04/2017 #9 Brian McKenzie
    Pavlovian Kibble ~ Lenin would be proud.
    Veronica Ochoa
    06/04/2017 #8 Anonymous
    #4 Your welcome @patrickscullin But as many BLM protesters and Civil Rights pioneers said.... I didn't realize holding a can of Pepsi would have saved me from a, b or c. I agree in general with the lack of empathy as referenced in the Kent State remark below but, I would also warn of this issue across the board... Susan Sontag one of my sheroes wrote about this as "The Other" in "Regarding the Pain of Others". https://monoskop.org/images/a/a6/Sontag_Susan_2003_Regarding_the_Pain_of_Others.pdf
    Patrick Scullin
    06/04/2017 #7 Patrick Scullin
    Thanks, @Veronica Ochoa, you make excellent points.
    Patrick Scullin
    06/04/2017 #6 Patrick Scullin
    Thanks, @Phil Friedman, I appreciate the kind words.
    Veronica Ochoa
    05/04/2017 #3 Anonymous
    While I cannot condone the use of Kendall Jenner I understand (from POV) that this is similar to me to the 70's version of Coca-Cola's "I like to give the world a Coke" campaign and the ending is (in my POV) a nod to the infamous photo of Jan Kasmir (flower power movement). I think it is a betrayal of her memory and her legacy then and now. I wish this had been done better but, this reminds me and all of us there is work to do.Yes, advertising and media should step up. The Superbowl commercials were lackluster and only one dared to talk about the immigration debate. 84 Lumber's http://fortune.com/2017/02/03/super-bowl-commercials-84-lumber/ very subtle yet powerful and evocative message spoke to me as a daughter of a Mexican immigrant who mother was given amnesty by Ronald Reagan mind you....and who herself as the liberty to evoke her 1st Amendment right to free speech. My mother a proud US Citizen..fully vested in everywhere and has been since 2000. Yes, there are POCs everywhere in the commercial because this is the America and not what the current government wants us to believe. Are the signs myself and others have made to protest since Trayvon Martin creative? Yes. They are. Are we trying to be social change agents. Yes, we are. This affirms to me the BLM movement is relevant, protesting is relevant and we need to #resist http://motto.time.com/4695248/vietnam-war-protester-trump-pepsi/
    Phil Friedman
    05/04/2017 #2 Phil Friedman
    Straight out of a marketing playbook derived from a selection of advice to be found on social media about branding and "authenticity". The only thing the creators of this ad missed was mixing in recovered historical footage of students being shot down by inexperienced, scared and panicked National Guardsmen at Kent State University. Because it's possible for an eight-year-old to drive an automobile doesn't mean you should let them. Thanks, @Patrick Scullin, for bringing this to our attention. Some serious lessons to learn here.
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