- 06/12/2016Slow down to reduce stress and enjoy lifeintentionalemployee.com Is your life passing you by? You need to slow down. It is possible to slow down and enjoy...
- Producer04/12/2016Hack Your Brain for the Ultimate LifeThere is increasing proof that the mind is more powerful than we realize. We can think our way to financial success, rewarding relationships, and even good health.Medical researchers now say that in many cases, a placebo - a pill with nothing in it,...
Comments06/12/2016 #6 Lisa GallagherGreat article @Cory Galbraith ( I know, that sounds SO cliche) but seriously- good! I'm actually working on some of the steps you listed, having a hard time motivating myself to go workout! I'd love to have a partner to workout with, we could hold each other responsible. However, I've done it alone each time in the past, I just need a good kick in the butt to get moving on it again. I would love it if my higher brain was more in control, a good thing to aim for!04/12/2016 #1 AnonymousThere is so much being written about this subject matter today and I find it very uplifting. In this buzz, you've gotten to the 'pulse' of it all - and in very practical terms, with very practical examples on how to apply it. Very nice! I am sharing this in the Sanctuary hive as well as on twitter.
- 02/12/2016BEFORE WRITING COMES THINKING... My newly launched writing improvement program is fully up and running now. Offering better writing through improved thinking. For more information go to ... http://www.learn2engage.orgWriting Improvement Better writing through improved...
Comments03/12/2016 #29 Phil Friedman#26 Sou, it is always good to hear from you. I still marvel that you are able to stand downunder on the bottom of the world without falling off into space. Goes to show that there are things in heaven and earth that exceed my philosophy, Horatio, um, Sou. Seriously, thanks for watching the video and commenting. And cheers back to you.03/12/2016 #28 Phil Friedman#25 Thank you, Mark, for your interest and comments. My original "beta" PR effort was interrupted by the demands in my core consulting business, and the fact is it took a lot longer to develop the curriculum, supporting materials, and website ( www.learn2engage.org ) than I anticipated. That is all cleared up now, and learn2engage is up and running. Since this promo appeared a couple of days ago, I've been in the process of producing ver.2 based on all the terrific comments that readers and friends on beBee have been making. I expect to release ver.2 by the end of the weekend. My thanks to you and everyone else for being so supportive. That response has been especially gratifying. Cheers!03/12/2016 #27 Gerald Hecht#26 @Sou Abbas Wonderful? The honing of our ability to document our collective extinction --in real time? Perhaps there is an ironic and poetic beauty to it...maybe it will be discovered by intelligent beings after we have been long gone...existing only as another curiosity in the fossil record; perhaps they will learn from our folly...our deliberate journey into oblivion...perhaps;03/12/2016 #25 Mark AnthonyAnything that helps me to piss people off in a polite and legal way has my vote. Anyway, I signed up for info on this ages ago. Good ad, but wording disappeared fast. The advertising has already happened through your years of writing. That is what attracted me to this course in the first place.03/12/2016 #21 Phil Friedman#20 Franci, thank you for saying that. I agree. What I am offering is based on a lot of years doing what I do, and I guess my belief is that if you don't want what I personally offer in this regard, then my program is not for you. Thank you, as well, for sharing this video. I am finishing an easy 2 version based on some of the feedback received, and v2 will be a lot better. Cheers!03/12/2016 #20 Franci Eugenia HoffmanWell, I like this! It's you, Phil. You're selling yourself as yourself as well as your services. I understand David's comment but I believe your personality should shine through from the start. I believe part of a strategic marketing plan is to have unique appeal. And in this case, your personality is the draw and the rest should follow. Sharing.02/12/2016 #16 Phil Friedman#15 David, thank you for watching and commenting. I genuinely appreciate the feedback. Some of your suggestion are going to be difficult for me to incorporate into the clip, mostly because it was already difficult to clean my vocabulary of phrases like"Hey, jerk" and "don't write like an idiot". Just kidding, of course. But fact is, in some things, I have to remain authentically me -- which is somewhat brusque. Cheers!02/12/2016 #15 David B. GrinbergPhil, I think you did a really nice job. I like the music too, very upbeat and welcoming. I just have a few constructive suggestions for your consideration:
1) I would cut the time down to a 30-45 second spot, and not more than 1-minute, because attention spans are low and folks are pressed for time. Think brevity with video, as with writing.
2) Replace the gorilla image with "David the Thinker" image (see point below)
3) At the risk of being overly sensitive to outside perceptions, I would consider changing the term "improve your thinking" as some prospective clients might take that the wrong way as an insult. I would try something like "clarify" or "distill" or something else to replace "improved." A lot of potential writers probably think there's nothing wrong with their thinking, per se, because they are intelligent people. And folks with big egos and thin skins are usually offended easily. Thus, I would be careful not to use anything that even has the potential appearance of driving away prospective clients.
Obviously, this is just my own 2-cents for what it's worth. Others may disagree. Nonetheless, I hope this is helpful and wish you success.
- 02/12/2016Here's 7 Unique New Year’s Resolutions to Help You While in Recovery. What are your goals? http://pathwaysreallife.com/7-unique-new-years-resolutions-help-recovery/
- 30/11/2016More than 30 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder. Don’t wait to get help.Eating Disorder Treatment in Utah - Pathways Real Life Recoverypathwaysreallife.com Our treatment for eating disorders in Utah is tailored to the patient to make sure they receive the help they need to live a happy, healthy...
- 29/11/2016Come On Bees, Let Us All Fly Higher:The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU Never miss a talk! SUBSCRIBE to the TEDx channel: http://bit.ly/1FAg8hB As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson...
- Producer25/11/2016Conscious and Subconscious QuestionsI say the more we know, the more we should ask questions to discover how little we know. Surprisingly, what we know for sure becomes our handicap. We all know for example, that water is an essential ingredient for our health and vitality. We know...
Comments30/11/2016 #156 Joris Plaatstaal#155 I think that is the beauty and the sadness of it all. Crossing the border might be an event not noticed by the traveler.
No matter what border the traveler crosses, at some point the traveler will realize there is no way back.
The traveler crossed the line and lost his past. Is that why so many of us do not travel?
I can understand them, the stayers. Traveling is about finding new and losing old. I can understand it does not appeal to everyone.30/11/2016 #154 Joris Plaatstaal#153 Now you got me thinking.... @Ali Anani.
"Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge."
This is an interaction I truly love. ......Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge...... It is just great, I did not realize that while commenting. You kick my thoughts a step further and at this time I am not sure why.....
Between freedom and illusion there is a borderline of knowledge. There are so many ways to look at that. I will have to let it sink in.
Thank you!29/11/2016 #152 Joris Plaatstaal#148 I agree @Ali Anani.
"And so there is a danger of always searching." That was indeed a bit of a one-liner. What I tried to say.... And that is where the complexity cuts in....
There are people who are sure they know. There are people who are sure they don't know, and they search further.
At what point in life and knowledge are we happy with who we are? Free?
Am I to early reaching that point? I made up my mind. I am sixteen years old and I know it all. What I know is the rigid setting for the rest of my life.
Will I never reach that point? I can't make up my mind. I am 120 years old and I am not sure. I must learn more.
Those are two extremities, I know. They fell in my mind, reading your conversation with Max. Those extremities do not represent you or Max. My knowledge of the both of you is too superficial.
Ah well. What did Come to my mind? The extremities.
"Know" to soon and freedom is lost. Never know and freedom is an illusion. Where do I step in? At what point in my life I feel secure, without developing my own tunnel vision? It feels like a Gaussian curve with a standard deviation of close to nothing.
Does this explain my one-liner more?
P.S. I am only here to exchange thoughts, not to prove my right. Thank you for your open, respectful comment.28/11/2016 #148 Ali Anani#147 @Joris Plaatstaal- There is a concept of "DEgrees of Freedom in statistics. I realize I lost one degree from your comment "But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.28/11/2016 #147 Joris PlaatstaalJoris Plaatstaal
11 min #146
Nov 28, 2016 12:41:55 AM
#141 It comes with being on social media @Ali Anani. No different to life. Everywhere, anytime we follow leaders who know......
In the end you can only follow yourself. I think you do just that. Your questioning, an admirable gift.
But in the end we are all free. Even people that trade in their freedom for A truth. They are free to lose their freedom.
And so there is a danger of always searching.
Life is so lovely complicated! It is all I expected. A blind walking forwards. Infinite.
Freedom is universal. But we seem to not live in the same universe.... Another complication, yes!27/11/2016 #144 Max J. Carter#142 It's not negative and you are being abusive in saying so.
It;'s the truth and it hurt your feelings because the truth hurts when one is living in delusion. Again this is behavioral psychology applied. I am not being negative I am being honest.
Using the term negative is a mechanism for retaining ones delusional state so one can dismiss that they heard truth.
Using the term negative is done to infer there is something wrong with someone so you ignore them and what they have presented.
If I applied the positive negative metaphor I have been more positive than most as honesty is a positive quality and delusion one that has negative impacts on the self and that damage gets spread in the name of justifying holding onto the delusion causing one to see the truth as a negative thing because it destroys their delusion.
It is psychologically unhealthy to use such subjective terms as positive and negative as they allow for mechanism to abuse other people to become rationalized and justified through use of the terms.27/11/2016 #142 Mohammed Sultan#140 Wisdom goes beyond understanding to interpretation of facts,it makes one's light more brighter than another and will help us see others pitfalls.We are always required to find a synergy between our personal and professional objectives.Our knowledge base and skills often go beyond the recipes of classical behavior psychology books to coaching and mentoring , visioning and inspiring people .We always think of more creative ways to develop the students skills to stretch their thinking beyond the norms of classic books.Our thoughts are always a reflection of our feeling and when we view others as "wrong"we trigger our negative emotions and may regress into a negative mood.27/11/2016 #141 Ali AnaniI read by a quote years back stating that "I have to be 300% I am correct before I dare say somebody is wrong".
Some comments are sidelining these discussions by making sweeping comments and turning the discussions from win- win to I win-you lose. It is sad it is truly wasting our times. Just stating somebody is flatly wrong without solid proofs and with many not seeing eye-to-eye with him is unacceptable. I hope discussions here shall only focus on the theme of the buzz and not sideline it to show off what we know. If needed and the commenter has such opposing ideas I suggest he writes a separate buzz.27/11/2016 #140 Max J. Carter#137 Wisdom is understanding how much of the knowledge is superfluous and strips away at structures to find understanding.
You are totally wrong as knowledge about people is absolutely scientific depending how you acquire it.
Experience reveals truth.
Any scientific experiment is designed to find the truth or determine what the facts are and what is the actual.
To deny there any absolutes is delusional thinking at it's best stemming from a fear of being wrong. This is behavioral psychology applied through scientific method over the course of many hundreds of years in society and is an inarguable absolute truth and fact of the human condition.
The only reason to attempt to deny this is keep ones delusions in place so one never has to take stand and risk being wrong which means they choose willful ignorance and never really grow and keep themselves in a state of emotional maturity that is could be described as adolescent or juvenile.
This isn't my idea or creative thinking, this is applied behavioral psychology.27/11/2016 #137 Mohammed Sultan#134 I'm sure you misunderstood me.My words say what I mean about your real creativity.Our creative thinking is not based on any delusion ,we may be in different positions but we have a common interest that can bridge this gap.It has to be conceded that knowledge about people is not necessarily of a scientific nature.Not only that ;possibly the phenomenon of humanity will never be susceptible to the kind of dominating prestige in business.Not only that;Our creative thinking or innovation develop from blending our inner creative life and its application to the business world.I still remember the wisdom of Kant when he quoted; Science is organized knowledge and wisdom is organized life,and on the importance of concepts he also quoted;thoughts without context are empty and intuition without concept are blind.Believe me it's not a double- face or a double- talk or am setting a group against another.27/11/2016 #136 Ali Anani#135 Thank you for your very elaborative response dear @CityVP Manjit. I share this perspective with you "Now link this with diversity and one does not need to build a bridge for that - for the connection point is within, it is within mind, within spirit and within body". I just wanted to ensure that you didn't mean bridge. With this explanation I am in agreement with you.
One definition of culture is that it is an emerging product of how people interact. I believe this is consistent with your response. If the "within" of individuals is healthy their interactions should yield a healthy culture. Culture that accept differences and find them a way to explore varieties of possibilities.
- 26/11/2016Like to read, but no time?
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- Producer24/11/2016All The World's A StageSpiritual growth is not linear. It is cyclical. Becoming more spiritually aware, you are in an uptrend, so to speak, but it has its setbacks. There are many moments when, despite what we know, we act in opposition to what we know. This is just...
- Producer24/11/2016Open Your Heart [a poem]Now is the time. The time is now. Open your heart. Embrace those you dislike. Look not at the differences. Erase your fear. The color of the skin, how poor or how rich... These things matter not. They are superficial....
- Producer24/11/2016When does the reporting become spam?When it comes to offering good services, everybody agrees that keeping the client informed is one of the main component of it. But what if the information you give is not really relevant for the client? Does it become a spam?It's a question I keep...
- Producer23/11/2016An Attitude of GratitudeA phrase we've all heard quite often, an "attitude of gratitude" is nonetheless an important concept if you're interested in becoming a Conscious Creator of your life. Practicing such an attitude brings you into oneness with the idea...
- Producer22/11/2016The Spectrum of HumanityWhat do Jews think about Jesus?He asked me as innocently as a college freshman at a small, Jesuit school could ask. It caught me a little off guard.What do ALL Jews think of Jesus?It was puzzling to me that he would think ALL people of any...
Comments28/11/2016 #30 Sarah Elkins#17 You hit the nail on the head, @Sara Jacobovici, I'd be willing to say that the vast majority of hate is based in fear. And thank you for that wonderful share and comment. I love our spectrum of humanity. Even the people who are horrible to me teach me something!28/11/2016 #29 Sarah Elkins#19 Unfortunately, @Ali Anani, that doesn't surprise me at all. I have similar stories from early in my time here in Montana, and from my travel experiences. What you say here is exactly right, we must connect one-to-one to change the dynamic. And it helps to be a good ambassador for our people, speaking and educating rather than being insulted and defensive.28/11/2016 #27 Sarah Elkins#25 Oh dear, @Nicole Chardenet, I know exactly what you're talking about in terms of it being hard to forgive the chronically and willfully stupid. I call it willful ignorance and have a really hard time with it myself. The reason I've been able to look past that issue with some people is that I realize that without talking about it, without having that dialog, the people who voted without the intention of exacerbating hate, fear, and bigotry, we are truly lost. Those who were more intentional with their votes are a lost cause.
I agree that asking what Jews think about Jesus is a totally fair question, it's the way he asked, as if all Jews would believe the same thing about Jesus. Many Jews fall into the category your mother described, and many do not. Just like some Jews keep kosher, others do not. The best question that is consistently asked by the students I encounter each year is this: "What makes the Jewish belief so different from the Christian belief." And my answer is that practicing Jews are still waiting for the Messiah, while Christians believe he has already been here. (Notice I said "practicing" Jews, as opposed to all Jews.)
Thanks for that great comment, it made me clarify why I responded that way to the student's question.28/11/2016 #25 Nicole ChardenetAsking what Jews think about Jesus is a fair enough assessment. It could be interpreted as perhaps the 'party line', with or without a Pope or other centralized figure. When I was a kid, growing up in a Christian family, my mother said that Jews believed Jesus existed but wasn't a Saviour, but that he was a great teacher. I actually cleave toward that view more myself now, rather than the Christian one...but then again, I haven't been Christian in many years.
As for not judging people en masse, easier said than done sometimes. I find myself struggling with the anger at people who elected a total asshat for world leader and put the rest of us in danger as well. That's not judging someone on biology; that's judging them on their unwillingness to take a real look at what they were voting for. It was eye-opening going to the States for Thanksgiving; it because quite clear that it wasn't just uneducated, chronically unemployed rednecks who hadn't been paying attention during the election campaign.
Harder to forgive, sometimes, the chronically and wilfully stupid.28/11/2016 #24 Julio Angel Lopez LopezGreat article, we can only contribute a little more, we are still evolving. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@julio-angel-lopez-lopez/una-teoria-sobre-la-evolucion-humana-a-theory-about-human-evolution27/11/2016 #21 Lisa GallagherThat's the second time I watched that video @Sarah Elkins and it still brings tears to my eyes. If only... most people would realize we are all connected in one way or another, we'd have a more humane world. We are humans, we are not our religion or our designated ethnicity. One day I hope that prejudice and biases end... that's my hope! It sure will be a better world when that time comes. I wish it would happen in my lifetime.27/11/2016 #19 Ali Anani@Sarah Elkins- I experienced what you experienced when I first went to the UK to do my PhD. As an Arab I was mocked. It took me three months before people accepted me as a non-conforming Arab to what impressions they had about Arabs. People tend to generalize and extend their conclusions linearly. I agree with your post. I find your writing "When we paint an entire community with the same, broad brush, we miss incredible opportunities to learn, to grow, and to make connections with each other. The only way to heal our fractured communities is to care about each individual we interact with, and avoid making assumptions". I believe this is the only way.
Mind you when my elder brother went to study his undergraduate studies in the USA he was asked to show "his tail". Some students believed that Arabs have tails. It is true. However; it is our actions that may change those impressions as my brother and I did.27/11/2016 #17 Sara JacoboviciAnother work of art produced by an artist story teller @Sarah Elkins. Beautifully written, beautifully told. Thank you Sarah. You write, "The spectrum of humanity is always my first priority." Agreed. I find beauty in the spectrum. Although I am always moved when I hear John Lennon's Imagine, it's the idea of hope that moves me. I don't want a world where we are all the same. Our challenge is to allow the differences to enable us to grow as humans, not to negate us. You write, "When we paint an entire community with the same, broad brush, we miss incredible opportunities to learn, to grow, and to make connections with each other." 100%! I regret to say that that brush is dipped in fear; for some reason we are made to feel that differences are a threat. It's individual behaviors, both verbal and non-verbal, which hold the potential of threat, not our differences.
@Ali Anani and I spent some time last evening (our time) in a synchronicity loop. I open up your buzz this morning and feel like I have fallen right back into that loop. You write, "The students laughed uncomfortably. I explained why that story was important in our discussion". I have recently shared the following video which I think greatly supports your invaluable message. Thanks again Sarah.https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tedspr26/11/2016 #16 Sarah Elkins#8 @Dean Owen, thank you for the comment. When I notice an immediate response to a person, I dig in to figure out whether it's truly intuition or bias. You're so right, it's human to make a snap judgment - and being introspective about those snap judgments helps us grow as humans.25/11/2016 #14 Mohammed SultanVery impressive @Sarah Elkins.God gave us the gift of life and honored us as humans and let us decide how to live well.Only wise people regardless of their religious devotion know well that a life is worth living when we live it for him.There's only one fact ,but can be interpreted in different ways and different manners because we each receive different "Light" from the same source.Because we receive the same message differently ,we have different and enduring cultures,not related to our DNA but to the paths we chose.Everyone has his own light and his own path and can see and think best within this context.25/11/2016 #13 Jared WieseTweeted:
The Spectrum of Humanity @sarahelkins "Are you able to truly judge ALL Americans based on.. handful of experiences?" https://www.bebee.com/producer/@sarah-elkins/the-spectrum-of-humanity25/11/2016 #11 Susan RooksBeautifully written and wise, @Sarah Elkins! I am also a Jew, but much more secular than many others I know -- of any religion! I identify as a Jew, but it's cultural. Yet one of my daughters is a Kohennet, sort of a rabbi. We are all different in the ways we understand and practice our religion / faith, and you made the point so very well. No group is 100% homogenous.
- Producer23/11/2016The WaitSo you sit and you tell yourself it's gonna be alright. You will get past this phase. It's a trying time in our life and we need to wait it out. You tell yourself that you are strong and this cloud of testing will soon fade away and there will be...
Comments27/11/2016 #40 CityVP Manjit#39 If we are what we eat, we are also what we think and in this regard there is plenty of suggestions on how to get unstuck. The 7 things to remember when stuck by Allison Fallon serves as an example of the mental shifts available :
7 Things to Remember When You're Feeling Stuck
http://allisonfallon.com/stuck/27/11/2016 #39 Fatima Williams#38 Thank you @CityVP Manjit It's an inevitable truth waiting is a part of our life.
But I feel sometimes we get stuck in our cocoons afraid to fly and spread our beautiful wings.
I remember a story of how an impatient person who saw a butterfly struggling to come out of the cocoon tried helping it and that eventually lead to the death of the butterfly.
This waiting phase in the cocoon is sometimes required to collect the strength as you said that required to break out and fly.
Transformation is the fruit of waiting but lets not wait too much. 🤗🤗🤗🤗27/11/2016 #38 CityVP Manjit#37 I welcome moments of life which are a cocoon. In modern culture we treat cocoon as a euphemism for prison, but it is not that, the caterpillar is not a prisoner of the cocoon, but a transformation in waiting and we are not butterflies, we are are more than a transformation that is no bigger than our thumb.
Let me take the song by Milky Chance called "Cocoon" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ernVvrYH9vg so while his main lyric is "so lets go back to our cocoon" the context is still escape and not transformation. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/milkychance/cocoon.html If we identify with this song, we identify with escape and pain rather than transformation and privacy.
I do not offer this as a perspective to a single a person because my own cocoons are a source of personal liberation. I am not afraid of melancholy or sadness, for when grief comes I will participate in the process of grief, but when freedom comes, I can place that in a cocoon too - for that is a different kind of waiting. The best privacy is to close my eyes or enjoy time at home.
Whether it is waiting such as Van Morrison "Days Like This" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UUWkr4FUlo or I have to do what it is I must do for this thing called our work life and I can't open up my mind to you - there is something gestating in the waiting, there is something fermenting in the waiting, there is something good changing in the waiting. Waiting is a part of life.26/11/2016 #36 Deb LangeDear @ Fatima I resonate with the wait and the move. I wrote a buzz last week which was well received. I said there is a part 2. I know I have been putting off part 2 as I feel some pressure in myself to have it as well received as part 1, but maybe it won't be. --and maybe it will. I know incubation time is useful but I sense I wait a little too long and need to be bolder with my action in the world. Things are never perfect and are always perfect just the way they are. And can always be updated and improved.26/11/2016 #35 Ali AnaniPart 2
I have just responded to a comment by dear @Sara Jacobovici on my linked buzz and urged her to read this buzz. I also invite @Irene Hackett, @Deb Helfrich, @Deb Lange, @Max J. Carterr and the two Lisas @Lisa Gallagher and @Lisa Vanderburg to enjoy this great buzz and to contribute to the discussions.26/11/2016 #34 Ali AnaniDear @Fatima Williams- you are a greater writer, thinker and communicator. I read your buzz comprehensively, with great interest and enjoyed the flow of your ideas your buzz. You leave me with so much to think about. I just request you to read my last buzz and the two co (Parts 1 and 2) and you shall realize what I mean.
We are working on developing a formula for movement and we need your brain. I hope your time would allow you to visit.
Your explanation of the wait time, steps how to deal with it and highlighting the Waiting Step as the critical step leave me with much to think about.24/11/2016 #26 Fatima Williams#20 Ahhh @Deb Helfrich first of all I love you ! Can I say that I hope your love doesn't get angry with me LOL. I love your character, personality and the way you interact and share your thoughts. I am no longer looking at people like Steve Jobs for motivation. I just come here on beBee and connect with you amazing people and I'm more than Good ! Look at the lovely buzz @Franci Eugenia Hoffman wrote today. I am on TOP of the world Today !
" I Flourish on beBee " That's the word I would like to use.
Coming to the buzz I'm so happy you had something to take away from here that was my goal achieved. Stay Awesome and GET MOVING ( winks)24/11/2016 #23 Lisa GallagherSuch an honest piece @Fatima Williams. I think we can all get stuck in the 'wait phase,' from time to time. We do need to draw on something stronger than ourselves at times or from deep within. I thought of one more thing, guilt can also put people into 'the wait.' If we hold on to self-guilt too long, it will immobilize us. Life sure is a balancing act!
- Producer22/11/20163 Ways To Survive Going Home For The HolidaysFor many years, I wasn't ready to admit that a visit home for the holidays traumatized me so badly that even after returning home, I was in a dark mood for days and sometimes weeks. I often justified my state of mind by blaming it on the long...
Comments29/11/2016 #3 Dannye Williamsen#1 Neither do I, Nicole. For those of us who haven't actually broken ranks with our families yet, though, I hope this helps.
For those for whom visiting family is like visiting aliens from another planet or like being stood against the wall to wait for the firing squad, it is time to do what's best for their mental health. Some say we choose our friends, but we don't get to choose our family. True, but no one said we have to like our family and make them part of our lives.29/11/2016 #1 Nicole ChardenetAwesome post, Dannye. I would maybe add this proviso: Sometimes families are just so damn toxic it's best for you and your own family to just stay away from them. I've known people who said their holidays were much happier once they stopped meeting up with people who only seemed to exist to make their lives miserable. As important as family is, sometimes they're just too crazy to deal with. I don't fault people if they just don't want the mental and emotional drag on their holidays.
- 22/11/201645 small changes that will make a huge difference todayintentionalemployee.com Small changes can make a world of difference. You can apply this rule to every aspect of your life. Here we identify 45 small changes to make in your...
- 22/11/2016Prosper where you are plantedintentionalemployee.com Until you choose to prosper where you are planted, you will always be unhappy. It's your choice to prosper and you define what prosperity...
- ProducerWhy spiritual counseling, not life coaching or business coaching?A business coach is focused on your creating a successful business through coaching you primarily in techniques for selling, marketing, management, and team building. A life coach, on the other hand, tends to address specific personal...
- ProducerHow Do You Look At Relationships?We all tend to categorize our relationships and rate them according to importance in our lives. The truth is that EVERY relationship—whether it's with your BFF, your parents, your significant other, a co-worker, the person who let the door...
- Producer21/11/2016It’s Called a Life, not a Life Sentence! How to Move Forward When You Feel StuckIf I never let go of my first dream job, I’d still be a can of beans.Don’t believe me? Here’s proof (no, I wasn’t being cheeky, my hand just moved as this was shot)! This was my very first day of my first marketing job, and I had to walk around a...
Comments22/11/2016 #6 Deb HelfrichReally astute managers would be clapping to have "career experimenters" on their team. Life and business is fast-paced and seems prepared to keep getting faster and having someone with a history of proving how easy it is for them to learn new skills is an asset to all teams.
Lots of golden nuggets in this buzz, @Michaela Alexis. Your humor made it a really enjoyable read. And laughter is the antidote to that fear foe in #5 which is very real and has beaten way too many great people into half-assed careers.21/11/2016 #5 AnonymousExcellent analysis of the fear many have about making 'a living'. I too have had a wide variety of jobs - hotel maid, waitress, coat-check girl, factory line packer - all in my early days of job exploration. I learned most of what I bring to the table as a Manager from having those jobs and I have never been afraid of branching out to the next experience. You are offering some great wisdom in this buzz. Sharing on twitter!21/11/2016 #4 Chas Wyatt@Michaela Alexis, you have no idea how relevant this is to me. Unfortunately, employers can't get over the stigma surrounding "job hopping"- at least that has been my experience. I love this buzz. It is full of truisms. "There is nothing more excruciatingly painful than feeling trapped in a life that you’ve drifted into.", "You can’t pour from an empty cup."~ I love these; you put it so succinctly. This entire buzz resonates with me on so many levels. I have had many jobs- 99% weren't very glorious. Some of the better ones were working on floats for the Pasedena Rose Parade, being an extra in one of Keanu Reeves first movies for three days (went straight to video), and doing a magazine shoot for one day (catered breakfast and lunch and got $500.00 for the day). The rest of the jobs pretty much sucked. I can relate to your journey. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
- Producer21/11/2016Dabrowski's SweaterA post from @Ali Anani brought Dąbrowski to the front of my mind today. If you're not familiar with Kazimierz Dąbrowski, he was a psychologist that was particularly interested in the development and functioning of gifted children. He brought us...
Comments27/11/2016 #22 CityVP ManjitThis buzz was difficult for me to position because it spans different spectrum's of my own learning journey. I originally connected it to my yellow hive because it talked about Dabrowski (who I have not yet acquainted myself with) and curiosity about his work with "gifted children" as an intellectual treatise. If I however focused my attention on self or physical development I would have connected it to my green hive. In the end as I worked my way though it, I actually connected to my blue hive, because what I was actually picking up from this buzz was actually covering thoughts around managerial capability development and managing transitions - and so I plugged in to the business or entrepreneurial lens, and when I engage my follow up study of Dabrowski (probably after the New Year) that is how I am going to incorporate this into my learning journey. So in a strange way the connection I ended up making in my mind was linking the context of Dabrowski to the transitions Ram Charan talks about in his adaptation he calls "Leadership Pipeline" http://www.ram-charan.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Leadership-Pipeline-sample.pdf - that adaptation by itself is based on the work of Elliott Jaques. Jaques was also a psychologist, but his work was originally pioneered through the Tavistock Institute. Jaques BTW beyond is work on work level transitions is famous for creating/studying the term he coined as "Mid Life Crisis".27/11/2016 #21 Sara Jacobovici#19 Thank you @Nikki Petersen, I appreciate you taking the time to respond and for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Children with children, parents with parents, anytime you bring people together, they can become territorial and offensive by making assumptions and judgments. Sad but true. The word narrative comes to mind. We each have an internal story with characters, voices, messages that have been carried over from childhood to adulthood. This narrative is fluid, ebbs and flows. It can be a great way to look at identity as it involves who we are without labels. An ongoing process but definitely worth the effort.27/11/2016 #20 Nikki Petersen#18 Oh, yes, I didn't have my meta hat on yet (not enough coffee onboard just yet). Sorry I missed that bit. Absolutely, the cycle is passed from parent to child and onward. Hopefully the good and the bad. My kids are learning about their own challenges and strengths, and as I teach them, I also teach them about their parents and grandparents in the same context. They're pretty meta, as well, so they get the breadth and depth of it all. They understand that I want them to learn my values but to develop their own sense of self, because I tell them that daily. I hope that it will have the impact I'm aiming for, in that I want them to be more evolved than my generation (as I am more evolved than the one before mine). No easy feat for a single parent!27/11/2016 #19 Nikki Petersen#9 @Sara Jacobovici, yes, this is such a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, and only one piece of it. The "G-word" as it's often referred to, has such variable impact on different audiences. Some people do react quite aggressively to it. Parents on the playground can turn downright mean when I say that one, tiny four-letter word. Friends have completely dismissed me, believing that I must be an attention seeker and that I'm not all that (and a bag of chips), and if I'm so smart why aren't I saving the world or at least some small corner of it.
But giftedness is more than intelligence. There are so many challenges related to giftedness that it's a wonder anyone can even see the IQ side of it. For quite some time, I fought for it to be more widely accepted. I am currently in a phase of not particularly identifying with it myself. You're right, though -- it is a label and if not given great care in handling, labels can turn into pathologies.27/11/2016 #18 Harvey Lloyd#17 I guess i was referring to the handing down of experience to our children as creating the loop. Parenting is the challenge. We want our children to gain from our experience, yet they themselves are unique and must experience things for themselves.
Unfortunately or fortunately depending on context, i agree, once we transcend one level we can't put the genie back in the bottle. Thanks for your response and i am reading further on this concept, it is fasinating.27/11/2016 #17 Nikki Petersen#14 @Harvey Lloyd, I never thought of it as circular, but can see what you mean. I've always considered there to be two transitions, between levels I and II, and another between IV and V, the former being that you realize you can change and the latter a realization that you are the driver of your own change. I don't feel like you can go backward once you've overcome that transition, but in reality there are a number of dips "down" into the lower levels as we ebb and flow as humans.
Thanks for your comments.27/11/2016 #16 Nikki Petersen#15 @Harvey Lloyd, parenting creates additional challenges to the ideas that Dabrowski brought forth. Understanding your kids and helping them understand themselves, while trying not to unduly influence them too far in one direction or another, but teaching them your values . . . is no simple task. And it doesn't even address their own individual challenges.
Luckily, my own children are so open, loving, and patient with me.25/11/2016 #15 Harvey Lloyd"Advances in society, through politics, philosophy and religion, are therefore commonly associated with strong individual creativity or accomplishments." (Wikipedia) I found this statement compelling, especially in today's climate.
I may be stretching the concept but with minor generalization this statement of Level 5 "Secondary Integration" would offer a path of parenting. The implications would be less authoritative and more influential in offering a philosophy/religion to our youth that establishes fundamental spiritual guidance and then allow them to experience life on their own. "Autopsychotherapy" as he described. The American Indian described this as a "Vision Quest"
Our youth seeing life through neutral truths of philosophy and religion could then establish their journey through the levels/planes without the bias of the parent's journey. This is great in theory but difficult to practice. The actions of the parents are greater than the words. We are human and sometimes our actions are less than our words.
Interesting perspective.25/11/2016 #14 Harvey LloydThanks for introducing Kazimierz Dąbrowski and his theories @Nikki Petersen. I enjoy reading about the various studies of human nature. I do find that most theories focus on self and the comparison to the social plane of existence. Typically this social plane of existence is seen as negative or as a hindrance to self. I am not well read on the Professors works but would appear at first glance, you are above, at or below the social plane when compared to the human experience. These concepts tend to focus our attention on the "fit" from a perspective of our own existence, in an effort to achieve the higher plane, presumably for our own peace and joy.
To some degree, this is a circular arguement. Certainly, the goal is to find our place in society where we experience some level of peace and joy or contentment if you will. In my belief we can't separate the human from society, no more than we can separate a tree from water. But this form of psychology tends to want us to find a higher plane than those that we exist within.
In reading the basis for Level Five "Secondary Integration" he offers up "Advances in society, through politics, philosophy and religion, are therefore commonly associated with strong individual creativity or accomplishments." (Wikipedia) Do we not create a loop or circular argument that at this level we challenge our children or social groups to hear, read and understand our higher plane. Ultimately becoming the cause and effect on those within the Level one diagnosis?
From a business perspective, specifically leadership i would tend to agree with the concepts offered up here. But would further contend that cognitive dissonance would be a factor in our personal vs professional life.24/11/2016 #11 Deb Helfrich#7 That is a very nuanced and astute reply, @Nikki Petersen. Comfort is a big theme in my life. And I believe a large part of what I have to offer in my brand - but until you put it like that, I saw comfort as only a personal pursuit.
Not to mention having a huge, life-changing disintegration phase is distinctly uncomfortable...24/11/2016 #9 Sara Jacobovici#6 Dear @Nikki Petersen, if I gave you the impression that I am deeply offended or in any way offended about giftedness or my being or not being gifted, then that was not my intent. In our struggles with identity, the exploration process of who we are is a dynamic and very personal one. It is imperative to discover things about ourselves that allow us to make sense of who we are. At the same time we have our individual identity while we live within a community; where do we belong? As social animals we need both; our own unique fingerprint and being a member of a society of others. I embrace similarities and am in awe of differences. For me its all part of the same whole. I suppose what I could of been reacting to was being told who I am based on certain characteristics. It reminded me of how I felt when I was labelled a feminist when I was engaged in issues related to empowering women. I am not a feminist and am not offended by feminism.24/11/2016 #7 Nikki Petersen#1 Hi @Deb Helfrich, thank you for your comments. I wonder if your connection between your dog's soft fur is actually part of your need for comfort? You seek for your memoir to be comforting in some way, I assume? If the sales aren't breaking records, maybe you feel like your creation isn't reaching its intended audience, and thus not providing comfort? This can definitely make you feel like you're doing something wrong in your business, and like maybe you're just not hitting the mark with your entrepreneurial efforts. That's when you look around and wonder if there's something missing, if you're working with the best materials, and if you should even being doing what you're doing. That's the disintegration piece. I've been there. It is a disturbing place to be.24/11/2016 #6 Nikki Petersen#3 @Sara Jacobovici, many adults are not aware of their giftedness, and I didn't mean to put anyone into that box. I don't consider it labeling. Frequently, the discovery process takes a long time and involves a lot of denial. For some, giftedness is irrelevant. For others, it is an explanation for why they've felt so out-of-place their entire lives. I wonder why you have such a strong objection to being classified as gifted, if you identify with so many of the characteristics? What is it about giftedness that offends you so deeply?24/11/2016 #5 Nikki Petersen#4 @Ali Anani, thank you for your kind words. I think one of the deepest misconceptions about giftedness is that it is defined purely by IQ or intellect. For me, the hallmarks are deep curiosity, intensity in pretty much everything, and a drive to learn. You certainly have all of those. :)22/11/2016 #4 Ali AnaniI am honored by my mention in your post @Nikki Petersen. I am also pleased that our first "encounter" led to this interesting buzz.As two of my favorite people @Deb Helfrich and @Sara Jacobovici I say WOW! Than you Deb for tagging me to this enjoyable and challenging nbuzz.
The post Nikki refers to is for documentation is:
I voiced a similar resoonse tio ine of Nikki's comments on the linked buzz by saying "But, I would love to know about those people who are less gifted- do they leave what they gained out of what? This is a question that you got my mind percolating about". So, the comment of Sara here throws relevant points.
As you wrote NIkki in your buzz "The way to change it is by receiving new input, new opinions, new feedback, and new socialization that reflects new ideas. With all that newness, it’s not shocking that people resist change, is it??
WEll, I assure you I say wow because you gave me new ideas, new perspectives and ways to knit my sweater the way I wish. I don't know if I am gifted or not, but I shall try to knit my own. Thank you
- ProducerThe Powerful Difference Between Feedback and CriticismIt is not unusual to hear people use the terms feedback and criticism interchangeably. In my mind and many others' minds, however, the emotional connotations of the two are diametrically opposed. Criticism is often compelled by negative...
- Producer20/11/2016Relationships and EmpathyThere have been a lot of articles, buzzes and/or blogs written about Empaths and empathy. I read many articles, then shake my head while thinking, "you might be making some valid points but do you honestly live the life of an empath or are you able...
Comments23/11/2016 #75 Lisa Gallagher#73 @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian, you do work hard! I bet (judt knowing whast I do about you that you're always putting others first and forgetting to put yourself first sometimes. I'm happy that you're relaxing now. I actually got a tear in my eye when I read your comment. Have a great holiday with your wife and family if for some reason I don't talk to you before then!23/11/2016 #73 Paul "Pablo" CroubalianThanks, Lisa, I needed that. I've been so hung up lately trying to get stuff done before the Holidays that I seem to have forgotten why those Holidays exist in the first place.
So, again, thank you. . . I'm shutting my computer now and going to sit with my wife. Time enough for work tomorrow.22/11/2016 #70 Lisa Gallagher#69 I thought that was important to point out because people who are highly sensitive are viewed as weak, that is not true (at least in many cases). Some of the strongest people I know are extremely sensitive but they don't wear it on their sleeve ;-) Thanks @Melinda Brain, appreciate your comment!!22/11/2016 #65 Ebenezar John PaulI can relate to the Unspoken understanding of each other" with a best my friend of mine. Very true and it gives a sense of content and happiness knowing that we share more than what can be put into words!!
Great article @Lisa Gallagher View moreI can relate to the Unspoken understanding of each other" with a best my friend of mine. Very true and it gives a sense of content and happiness knowing that we share more than what can be put into words!!
Great article @Lisa Gallagher :) Close22/11/2016 #62 Sou AbbasI like how you think Lisa. It is important to allow yourself to feel what you feel and express it as it is for you. People are drawn together based on common ground and not on emotional obligation to do so. With an open heart and mind to explore further what that common ground is whether spoken or unspoken. Thank you.