- Producer01/08/2017Discipline is Such Sweet SorrowWell, this is post 33 in 33 days. My sole intention was to become less tedious about the marination schedule of my writing. I really liked to start things and then put them aside for a very long time, indeed. Mostly this tendency wasn't...
Comments02/08/2017 #11 Jerry FletcherDebi, Somehow your words delivered me an image of the ringmaster at a Circus bellowing, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please direct your attention to the heights of the big top and the wire that stretches end to end. There, the brave Debi will step out into space and into your hearts..."01/08/2017 #3 Lisa 🐝 GallagherMy comment from LI: I'm happy through your challenge you have been finding Deb! You matter and if you don't put yourself first (which is OKAY), then your precious energy is being robbed, which I'm sure you've figured out with an exercise that began as a writing challenge. Kudos to you for writing each day. Many of us ARE listening, we care. Hugs Deb Helfrich 🐝01/08/2017 #2 David B. GrinbergDeb: let me BEE one of the first -- but most certainly not the last -- to say you deserve accolades for reaching this personal milestone. I'm not sure how you found enough time to fit one blog a day into your busy schedule for 33 consecutive days, but "more power to you" (as they say). You have set a great example, Deb, for all bloggers on beBee Producer, as well as potential bloggers who might lack enough confidence to publish. Bravo, Deb, you did it!
PS - I also love the stunning header photo. It appears you have a very nice perch outside Seattle.
cc: @Javier 🐝 beBee @John White, MBA @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher @Paul "Pablo" Croubalian @Jim Murray
- Producer31/07/2017Fury UntoldI am angry. I almost cannot type these words. I begin to explain and prevaricate before I completed typing those 3 words. 8 letters. I was taught not to speak my anger. And I found myself smack in the middle of a situation where I could not voice my...
Comments01/08/2017 #10 Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBeeahhhhh--so very true. I feel your pain. I dump myself into calmness all the time. It stifles the necessity of speaking. But then--sometimes disagreement is so intense that it precludes desire for connection.
Pull out those punching pillows and bang away. If you don't have one, designate one. It helps.31/07/2017 #9 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeWould you have written this buzz with words carrying your energyif you weren't to experience the pain @Deb 🐝 Helfrich? If bitterness leads to such sweet drops of honey then I welcome it.
The energy in your words touched my heart. I say to you "I am listening".31/07/2017 #5 Tricia MitchellIt's interesting @Deb 🐝 Helfrich. Responding from a place of compassion while I type, I also see your story and the fact that you are processing/playing out your story (while thinking to myself, this is probably not the best time to express this). Sometimes, I find these situations present themselves as an opportunity to liberate ourselves from our stories. Indeed, when I have cleared something, I am perplexed when the situation presents itself again soon afterwards. After speaking to a couple of people, their perspective is that we are being tested to see if we react differently "this time".
You wrote, "The most hurtful thing in the world is to stop someone from voicing who they are." - I dare say you're right, and there's probably lots of people thinking that the most hurtful thing in the world is to stop someone from being their true self/force someone to do something that goes against their core values. Once we heal it, our vibration changes and as we no longer resonate with whatever 'it' is, it will not show up for us as part of our reality.
I'm happy for you that you were able to express your truth (& although you're not asking for solutions, tapping is good for releasing any residual anger linked to being silenced).
Well done on continuing to buzz throughout July :-)31/07/2017 #4 Sara Jacobovici"We are meant to voice what we feel, so that it may move." Agreed @Deb 🐝 Helfrich!! I hope you will always know who you can turn to who will hear you. A friendly reminder that your voice is being heard through your writing and so there is always a way for you to be heard. As John said. "I'm listening."
- Producer30/07/2017Time AllowingLife will be grand. I have always been fond of the saying, in the fullness of time. And while I do see the point of allowing things to unfold as they do, rather than fighting with the forces of life that we don't fully understand, I also...
Comments31/07/2017 #9 Sara Jacobovici#6 Thank you so much @Alan Culler for bringing my attention to @Deb 🐝 Helfrich's buzz. For sure this piece is immersed in the fourth dimension. Deb, as a fan of your writing and as consider myself living "in time", this buzz amplifies my admiration. Beautifully written Deb. So grateful you are sharing.30/07/2017 #6 Alan CullerGood one, Deb
"Time, oh sweet sweet time, where did you go?"
"You can spend all your time making love, or you can spend all your love making time."
Most of the problems of the world could seem less intractable if considered over multiple time horizons.
Meditations on the fourth dimension might open a communication with @Sara Jacobovici
- Producer29/07/2017A State of Being in the Wrong DakotaYes, in the year of our technology 2017, I drove across the country from Seattle to Boston without a navigation app. In fact, I disabled the location service as soon as I got the phone around 3 years ago. Having driven across the...
Comments29/07/2017 #4 Shelley Brown@Deb 🐝 Helfrich love the title!!! Love the story. A few weeks ago, I was navigating for my boyfriend. We were heading to Indy to see my sister. I have driven to Indy countless times however; ended up in Michigan before I realized it and doubled the time of trip. No dips, no change of terrain and the same farmland...until the sign...29/07/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 GallagherEven with navigation we have some times been misled and ended up in semi-similar situations. I was happy to help @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, for years people have told me I should have worked in the travel industry. I've always been a good navigator, my husband on the other hand, not so much.
This post made me think of Robert Frost's poem: "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth?
For what ever reasons it was meant to be :))
Kudos for driving cross country, that within itself is major feat! Oh for the record, I don't think I've ever driven through Chicago without hitting rush hour type of traffic. @Shelley Brown is this the norm? I went through Chicago around midnight a few years ago and I could not believe how much traffic there was, you would have thought it was 8 am.
- Producer28/07/2017The Ghost of Profile-Views PastHe hovered today, for perhaps just a moment. We knew each other in previous lives, when the promise of much was waiting to be grasped. Did he even mean to click? Or was it just a tick? I'll never know, because whatever he thought, he had...
Comments29/07/2017 #8 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorI clung to every word of this, Deb. It's difficult to know what to do or if you should do anything. Perhaps, he is waiting for you to take the first step and the profile hover is a hint. Or maybe he was thinking of you, wanted to make contact, and lost his nerve. The past and the future have been altered but to what extent?28/07/2017 #7 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#6 This was one that poured out. There are people who affect all our christmases. What I have come to learn is that the present and future aren't the only dimensions that change and that the past becomes altered, as well, when we intersect with someone who breaks all our illusions.
So many of my relationships have been the kind where we could start right back in the flow, no matter how much intervening time. But not all of them.
I wonder if this glimpse can alter the future?28/07/2017 #6 Shelley Brown@Deb 🐝 Helfrich this was really powerful and I actually held my breath. This just played me "I don't remember our last exchange, don't know what life has brought to his door. I do remember our special projects, when it felt like we'd work together forever". I just remember this time in your life and I also think that season broke you open for so many transformations of your soul
- Producer27/07/2017Hailstorm ThoughtsOn my drive west, just as I entered Wyoming, I experienced the most intense hailstorm of my life. While traveling, there is a sensation of being totally free from the bounds of daily life. Driving across the plains of Nebraska all morning, it was...
Comments28/07/2017 #7 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#5 The magic of this buzz and that of @Sara Jacobovici inspired me with the idea to write and publish a buzz today on hailstorm as a metaphor for storytelling.
Thank you @Deb 🐝 Helfrich and @Sara Jacobovici for the inspiration28/07/2017 #5 Sara JacoboviciFirst, thank you to @🐝 Fatima G. Williams for bringing my attention to your post @Deb 🐝 Helfrich. Now, couldn't be more honoured to be mentioned in such a beautifully written and beautifully told story. Your full immersion in life is courageous and inspiring. Please keep on writing.27/07/2017 #3 Chas ✌️ Wyatt"Louder and louder the deep thunder rolled, as through the myriad halls of some vast temple in the sky; fiercer and brighter came the lightning; more and more heavily the rain poured down. The eye, partaking of the quickness of the flashing light, saw in its every gleam a multitude of objects which it could not see at steady noon in fifty times that period.... in a trembling, vivid, flickering instant, everything was clear and plain: then came a flash of red into the yellow light; a change to blue; a brightness so intense that there was nothing else but light; and then the deepest and profoundest darkness." ~Charles Dickens, "Martin Chuzzlewit", Chapter XLII.27/07/2017 #2 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeA buzz per day and still of this high quality is amazing and reflect your ability to tell great stories with meaning @Deb 🐝 Helfrich. I am soon building on the hailstorm metaphor and shall reflect on the great life lessons you have taught us in this wonderful buzz, Deb.27/07/2017 #1 Pascal Derrien''I am the captain of my own life and it is fine to occasionally go below-board to ride out waters so choppy, I might be thrown from the deck'' so true in any human story near you I have been reminded of this this very week I will probably put an article up on this sometime soon... now that will probably not be as eloquent as this article is :-)
- Producer26/07/2017Living My Life Like It's GoldenLife never has been and never will be about nothing but great days. There are cycles of everything in nature - 24 hour days, 7 day weeks. We have human cycles too - perhaps pun truly intended. Every single time we achieve something great the...
- Producer25/07/2017Broadcast Your SignalI do think that we are here to beam our unique signal. It broadcasts brightly as a child. We often see, as people hit the home stretch of their lives, that they behave more like kids than rigid adults. The more we can resist the noise wanting...
Comments25/07/2017 #4 Shelley Brown@Deb 🐝 Helfrich so many profound, soulful messages in this piece. The part that reached my heart the most was "accepting our own special, beautiful note - the clearer our contribution to the orchestra of humanity will be". An addition to the quotes on my "Chairing Me On" I will add "If we can shift to valuing the process of becoming comfortable that living is a series of questions, we might be able to prosper". Beautiful Deb!25/07/2017 #1 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador"I think we need to move away from only valuing those people who have memorized answers." I agree with this statement @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, because memorized answers may be from a stagnant mindset plus they may be false. Why not value our own answers and as you state "Practicing our own part, is definitely a fundamental reason we are here."
- Producer24/07/2017Big Sur and the Apples of CaravaggioThis title is a homage to a very important writer in my life – Henry Miller. Whatever image you may hold of him in your mind, to me, he represented someone living a life of self-determination. That was very, very absent in the world surrounding...
Comments25/07/2017 #6 AnonymousWell I believe you are on your way. Sometimes we have to let it hurt to find the diamond in our own suffering. It's there, I believe, but it's yours alone to find, perhaps. I did start over once and decided there is no roadmap to Life, we build it each day, but something in my Heart feels like a beacon that steers with pure irrationality so you best not listen to me, that's just my preferred path. Perhaps we do each have our own. It's best to keep listening to yoU. There's a Cormac Mcarthy quote floating in my mind right now from Blood Meridian but I can't recall it. Something to do with finding the thread of order in all that weaving. I believe you can, and that you will, and I am happy to help however I can. Your journey, and you, inspire me greatly. Thank you for being you dear @Deb 🐝 Helfrich!24/07/2017 #3 Shelley Brown@Deb 🐝 Helfrich honest and painfully beautiful. The last 2 paragraphs with your statement to yourself are your "flotation device" as well as the many of us who want to lift you up. If I could start a brand new life right now, I would want to be a speaker, exchanging energy, laughter, tears by sharing stories that would truly make a positive difference in the lives of others.
- Producer23/07/2017Looking Right Past Reality into AweI read a lot. I take notes. I decided on this photo and quote, which I created for the home page of my website. Then I needed some words. This evening, I am going to rely on Michael Crichton.Of course, it is simply synchronicity that having decided...
- Producer22/07/2017I've Only One Thing To DoThis is a contemplative evening.I was thinking about the last time I surrendered to the now in the face of tremendous uncertainty.There was a soundtrack to that feeling, the title song to 'The Affair' - written and sung by Fiona AppleThe opening...
Comments23/07/2017 #2 Lisa VanderburgMy thoughts run dark. No matter where I move in this world, it's always next to the ocean. I love this post, darlin' @Deb 🐝 Helfrich! Deeply intuitive and intriguing.
For me, it's the temptation of such an overwhelming force......keeps me dangling or grounded (that changes).
- Producer21/07/2017Cloudy with a Chance of ClarityThis month has been an enormous process of facing the ways I swallowed my joy, self-isolated because of childhood emotional neglect, and felt I had to do everything in life all for myself.Facing the words on the screen and reviewing them for what...
Comments25/07/2017 #13 🐝 Fatima G. Williams#9 Shelley it’s like you spoke out my mind on how I feel after reading this post "how extraordinarliy palpable that even though I have only virtually met you, I can feel you and watch you as you start to fly. Fly into this radiant butterfly. You shine my dear Deb"21/07/2017 #12 Jerry FletcherThe clarity you speak of is like a painter's search for exactly the right color that may be part or all of a canvas awash with it. Or just that one tiny dot that only a few will see. it can be elusive but knowing it exists is the key. It may be cloudy but you can visualize the clarity. You'll get there, I'm sure.21/07/2017 #11 Bernard PoulinIs it me? Or is it the reality before me which makes life more and more depressing - rather than more and more encouraging? One way or the other, I find the 21st century heavier than past decades as we now seemingly add "threats" and trauma as "normal" adjuncts to our beingness - where once we strived to add "feathers in our caps". I am not wanting to add to this heaviness that seems to motivate our worlds being much too comfortable in discomfort and with everyone's depressive notions being equated with "real" depression. And so I can only applaud the Pope for hanging a sign on his door which asks that we whine less and "do" more to better our lives. If I am ever quoted by my children and grand-children, I would hope that it would be what I have repeated these past many years (and which, I hope, did play at least a minor role in getting them to become the strong individuals they have become) - and that is : "It is not what has been done to us which is important but rather what we do with what has been done to us."21/07/2017 #9 Shelley BrownYou express yourself so beautifully it hurts in that way that really reaches inside and takes me from feeling your pain to my heart swelling with love. I was talking to a friend about you last night and I told her what a powerful experience it has been to watch you transform and how extraordinarliy palpable that even though I have never met you, I can feel you and watch you as you start to fly.21/07/2017 #7 Sara Jacobovici(I think I've said this before, but definitely worth repeating.) You are a power to be reckoned with @Deb 🐝 Helfrich. And I am speaking of your power from within! Your core. See it, hear it and celebrate it! My fb business page posted a 2 year anniversary of this post. I thought it is worth sharing. Please let me know what you think. Thanks Deb. http://www.arts-psychotherapy.com/the-best-i-can-be/21/07/2017 #4 Lyon BraveI think this is how life goes. I have soent great periods in isolation almost heroic monk like isolation.. Well thats not true because monks usually live in groups but you get what im saying. We often pick our relationships because of proximity and this is of course limiting. I think isolating is important. I feel like rejoining the world is of greater importance but remember there are different worlds. There are people who will get your hearts desiers and bring out your laughter and your brains and there are people who will bore you to tears and keep life dull and stuck. The best thing about moving to shanghai is just searcging on a dating app i can see the people get a lot more interesting. If you are in seattle i am sure you can find people you vibe with but its a hunt and it takes putting yourself out there, trying new things and saying hi to people you want to say hi to but maybe you have a hangup like you are too old or not in shape enough or gifted enough. Mingle21/07/2017 #3 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee#2 @Deb 🐝 Helfrich= the eruption of the volcano inside you led to the emerging of your new thinking and the writing of this wonderful buzz. Yes and as all fractal systems we undergo few major events in our lives and many small events that are of much less impact on us. Your last eruption has led to the turning inside out of your thinking patterns. Sharing
Never again to use mobile phone for writing comments and waking up after only three hours of sleep. I am awfully sorry dear Deb as I have to delete my previous comment because it appeared as Chinese rather than English with so many typos. My apology.21/07/2017 #1 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee@Deb 🐝 Helfrich %he eruption of the volcano inside you )ed to the emerging of yournew thinking and the writing of this won!erful buzz. Yes and as all fractal systems we undergo few major events kinour lives and many small events that are ofmuvh less impact onus. Your lzst eruption has led to the turning inside out of your thinking pafterns. Sharing
- Producer20/07/2017Reflection becomes Content and Content is not ContentmentI try to navigate the fine line between the feedback that people cherish for their content and the food for thought I prefer for thinking about my thinking. Amy Blashka focused on content and the thinker in her LinkedIn piece and her update...
Comments20/07/2017 #1 CityVP 🐝 ManjitI just read this piece on LinkedIn about workplace culture and fear https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/our-work-culture-has-many-people-constant-state-fear-heres-roughol View moreI just read this piece on LinkedIn about workplace culture and fear https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/our-work-culture-has-many-people-constant-state-fear-heres-roughol and then I look at some comments such "True" and "Very True" - that means people read these pieces and simply nod their heads, whereas I am thinking "what would I do about it?" then the actual response people give to a piece like this is even more sad than the original viewpoint. Then very little formulates towards evidence base and we end up spinning wheels on the anecdotal. Content then is not contentment, especially when the responses to that content seem to be looking for the arrival of a savior. If we are the agents of our own freedom, why would we keep identifying with this mindstate? Close
- Producer20/07/2017Mourning BroccoliOne fateful evening dinnertime in 2011, I made a discovery. I was preparing some vegetables, being careful not to have any onions go astray and land on the floor because Zanzi was eyeing me ready to pounce on debris. She is a passionate...
Comments07/08/2017 #25 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#22 I am honored to link over to your buzz, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee
Because it highlights a simple re-use strategy that is important - what could be easier than burying banana peels?07/08/2017 #22 Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBeeGreat insights @Deb 🐝 Helfrich- You are very right in saying "We had a five minute conversation about the fact that to save space, all broccoli now comes sans stalks. A very edible part of a very nutritious vegetable is now completely off of our menu because of industrial decisions". This is in a great parallel of my buzz of today "Not Only Humans Care". You are perfect examples that add value to my buzz.20/07/2017 #20 Lisa Vanderburg#11 Water finds what is level and you have found yours, my friend! By all accounts, this buzz is raising important issues which is commendable, perhaps at the cost of a little levity - well worth it! Just look at the comments, debate, comprehension this is bringing up.
Always, from the other side of the pond, Americans seem to feel they have no voice, no worth (forgive me my interpretation). It's endemic and follows through with what the Europeans have long known; just how very conservative the Americans are....certainly not in Kansas anymore.....20/07/2017 #19 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#17 Organic is very old in America where food is supposed to be shelf-stable. That is what every single food purveyor dreams of.
But in making it non-digestible by air-based bugs, we've also made most of it non-digestible by gut-based bugs as well.
The vast majority of packages in American stores contain stuff we simply are not able to digest. And this often means things end up in our bloodstream that are very hazardous, indeed.
Broccoli stalks are a good metaphor for the decisions being made for consumers without any regard to nutritional availability.
As usual, we've sold our souls to an easy but overall useless metric, caloric totals, when what really matters to our health is whether or not we can digest the food into usable nutrients. One very reliable prompt to over-eating is being micro-nutrient deficient.20/07/2017 #18 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#15 I do see the method to your 'grumbling', Joyce. You gain strength from shooting straight from the hip, getting it all out, calling all the spades, as such. Then you go through.
I can get a little verklempt - okay a LOT. And, frankly, therefore stuck.
So I glimpse horrific wrong, outside my direct actionable environs, and try to envision how to make this impossible in the future.
Look, we are a society heavily burdened with punishment. We aren't caring for kids because we are caring for criminals. This way does not deter, we've proven it. Although, we also need to address how we glamorize law breakers....
What does deter is when a person is fully loved by those around them. The main driver in our society is how we exchange all our time for very little money. This keeps people from showering those they love with affection in all sorts of ways.
If everyone had a right livelihood, if we as a society invested in this core principle, so much would change.
I have no idea how to make this happen by September or 2020. But I know talking about it is the way to open up more minds to the damage of our current world of work - and significant lack thereof - and how this system perpetuates all of our societal ills.20/07/2017 #17 🐝 Fatima G. WilliamsThey require first seeing outside the current systems. It's going to be a long time before this happens. There's a new term in the market " Organic" weren't all food suppossed to be that way. Money & desires making man blinded from knowing his own daughter and mother this would apply to nature as well. Realisation is the only weopon we have now and one that noone can take away.
Btw I love broccoli steamed with salt n pepper. My dear zanzi I knew I loved you before I met you. Hugs ❤20/07/2017 #15 Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee#13 "But if we squash the discussion right from the moment it arises, which is the tendency right now from all corners, it will only be a handful of years until all self-preservation instincts are industrialized right out of us." So true. But I think we are going to have to see a revolution before this happens. Sadly, I don't see this happening, but I hope to be wrong.
"I am just going to continue to agitate pleasantly and firmly until I get connected with someone who can help me amplify my voice." Keep up the good work.20/07/2017 #13 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#9 We do have a lot of choices. But they require first seeing outside the current systems. Having open debate on what better frameworks can be created. And being willing to endure difficult change.
It certainly is the case that we've numbed ourselves with material possessions and given ownership of our health to ever increasing work stress, both of which essentially mean that the agglomeration of wealth by the few is a very difficult structure to topple.
But if we squash the discussion right from the moment it arises, which is the tendency right now from all corners, it will only be a handful of years until all self-preservation instincts are industrialized right out of us.
I am just going to continue to agitate pleasantly and firmly until I get connected with someone who can help me amplify my voice.20/07/2017 #11 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#7 I was hoping that line helped people realize I wasn't actually mourning broccoli stalks in isolation, but all the tiny little ways the massive industrialization of our lives, without representation, is squelching the small delights of being alive.
We really are only about 3.7 years away from absolutely everything being owned by 11 corporations. Who cares if the precise numbers are factual the concept is rippling around us with ever stronger frequency.
Every aspect of our lives, what we eat, wear, and think is being sanitized and standardized.
I really, really am looking for concrete ways to support myself as a tiny voice saying something uniquely different.20/07/2017 #10 Cyndi wilkinsThis is reminiscent of the warped way our silly little society works...The more profitable 'pretty little pieces' can stay because they are pleasing to the eye and effortless to prepare...whereas the real soul food is thrown out with the trash because we cannot 'see' it's value.
Nice buzz @Deb 🐝 Helfrich...Never thought I'd get so deep about food;-)20/07/2017 #7 Lisa VanderburgLove this @Deb 🐝 Helfrich! The icing is 'Broccoli brings us joy'!
I save all my veggies cut-offs (except for celery leaves, eggplant and zucchini - bitter) for the freezer. Bones, carcasses, herbs stalks - all goes into stock that I will slowly boil down over a couple of days when my frozen stash justifies my largest pot. Old or too soft tomatoes, carrots, and anything else threatening goes into the freezer to add to my mass.
Zanzi is glowingly healthy - and cute!!
- Producer19/07/2017Calmly and Vibrantly AliveDoes this register as an oxymoron for you? Or can you feel the way the juxtaposition captures the homeostasis of life. Lots of vibrant little mitochondria are needed to emerge into a person of calm demeanor.I feel reticent today.I am not sure...
Comments19/07/2017 #3 Debasish Majumder#2 thank you very much madam for such cordial response, precisely, citing about the wailing of baby, which keeps us is in intense suspense, and moment we notice its perpetual suspense, hell broke down on us. there lies the dynamics of quantum mechanics, the enigma of the entity, which seems so frivolous and can turn into fruition, beyond our capacity to perceive! the way you narrated madam @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, it evidently appears that you are a true quantum activist! thank you very much for your insightful comment.19/07/2017 #2 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#1 That is an astute comparison, @Debasish Majumder. We humans are so intensely attached to the feeling states of the now, yet, in all truthfulness, in the very moment we feel overwhelm or anger or hurt, the world has moved on. Things are arranged differently.
Our perceptual systems operate a little too slowly for our own good.
Perhaps like kids we need to wail intensely for 3 seconds and then flow right into giggling at the funny face being made at us.
When we stay locked in any given emotion, we have disembarked from the quantum train of universal motion.
And thank you very much for the role model you are being. You are demonstrating how to be calmly and vibrantly alive, right past a situation that you could have dwelled in. You adjusted to new conditions and went forward, being who you are.
That is a priceless lesson for all!19/07/2017 #1 Debasish Majumderthe beauty as well enigma of life is lying in the position we are dwelling and always changing the position out of the external conditions, making a leap from one to other orbital plain, the dynamics of quantum mechanics we experience in our own life! love post @Deb 🐝 Helfrich! enjoyed read and share. thank you for the buzz madam.
- Producer18/07/2017HappimessNothing like a bit of screwy spelling to make you stop and go, well, dang, that describes it all so perfectly. This photo itself was a happimess, as I had no idea the sight I would behold when I got home from work late one December night....
Comments18/07/2017 #15 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#12 Thanks so much for making me smile, @John White, MBA and for adding in your story. It is a happimess to be going through the chaos and confusion bit of making the initial decision, out loud, and in public - to burst out of comfort into the wide open, risky, yet tremendously rewarding world.18/07/2017 #12 John White, MBAI love the challenge, 30 days of content from the amazing, @Deb 🐝 Helfrich! This phrase really speaks to me, "I deferred feeling my emotions and the quandary I am in is a direct result of some useful numbing strategies turned into a comfort zone of imprisonment." I did this too, and my comfort zone was limiting my growth. In fact, for me to break out of it, I had to do something very uncomfortable for two years and that was to enroll in an MBA program. Doing that created chaos in my life that forced me out of my box. I had no choice but to grow. I don't think I would have ever left my comfort zone if I wouldn't have taken that step. Kudos to you, Deb, for creating and embracing your happimess.
- Producer17/07/2017Slanting RealityWhat if you never learned how to level it all out? What if you always perceived your life from an off-kilter state? What if instead of a natural equilibrium, you always got it tilted? From this rocky start, is there a way to...
- Producer16/07/2017The Surrender ExperimentTwo years ago, I read a book that brought me to the exact place I am today. In a round-about way. In the way that it set the stage for giving me a framework for letting life unfold. I did my very best to not let fear guide my decisions and try to...
Comments18/07/2017 #15 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#13 Thanks for all that you are! I am pretty clear that what I am trying to solve for is stepping into my now, untethered.
I feel the freedom of where I am at, but catch myself evaluating now through those old, perceptual lens and this process has been one of confronting these thoughts and choices as they arise again and again.
I'm only glancing back when the now is perplexing, so that I don't get swallowed by the undertow that washed me up on this isolated, unsustainable shore. Resurfacing the wrong navigation is the key to diving back in facing forward to swim to a hospitable patch of ground to explore.18/07/2017 #14 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorI like this thought, Deb, because so many times, I find myself being impatient and fretting over things that eventually resolve themselves. "So again, this midsummer Saturday night, I state to myself that I surrender. I am not going to waste precious moments of life fretting over circumstances that I know will resolve in the fullness of time."18/07/2017 #13 Cyndi wilkins#7 You are being called to nurture yourself love...focus on that...The fact that you wake up every morning and can move about the world around you under your own power...find new places of experience...'unplugged' and in nature...she whispers, so you must be still and listen...really listen.
You are not here to heal others...you are here to heal yourself...so stop looking back...you are not that person anymore. It is time now, for something new emerge in your life...but it can only happen if you keep moving forward;-) Love ya!18/07/2017 #12 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#11 You are quite right, it doesn't have to be harsh, and I can see what delighted you and Cyndi with this turn of phrase - it speaks of integration and balance and that is a magnificent state to exist it.
But I got isolated in my thinking equipment, to the atrophy of my feeling equipment and facing this damage, these perceptual bars of imprisonment, is right now a speed bump on my road to surrender.18/07/2017 #11 Anonymous#10 Does it have to be harsh? Says who? Is Universal Flow found only one way, or is the way Truly your way? You're already there, here we are. Self compassion is a good tool I have experienced en route, and guess what; I care about you! Some connections seem so timeless sometimes. I applaud your daring.18/07/2017 #10 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#6 I went full-on OTT in my #7.... I meant think-feel in a harsh, emotionally-stilted way. Bargaining the terms of my surrender is what only a person who thinks their way into universal flow would do. I may just get there, but I will have exhausted myself in the process. When the actual surrenders I have experienced have meant a wellspring of energy, revving to flow.18/07/2017 #7 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#3 It's challenging. I was going to say funny, cause that is the socially accepted way to say I feel misunderstood, but I am being as accurate as possible these days :)
I gotta squint until my whole head hurts to see what you've just described in my words.
Because I feel intense pain. Lack. A life without anyone to ever honor my feelings accurately.
I only learned to think-feel because in my developmental years no one cared enough to listen to my feelings - full stop. In order to have a minuscule chance to express myself, I had to create a perfect argument. Which basically went unlistened to outside my mind.
In this moment of weakness, it feels like I am surrendering wrong, because even when I dive into helping with everything I have, I am not truly wanted, as I am. I truly believe, though I show up with some peculiarities, most assuredly, that my intent has been to help from my wide open heart.
I wrote this to encourage myself, it is what I think, and yet, still, I am committing lies of omission about my feelings.
My soul is tethered to a feeling of only having a tiny bit of surrender left.
Immediately my thinking equipment mocks my heart by saying, why are you surprised you have to surrender it all? And why do you believe you can determine the terms of your surrender? And how come you dare to want someone to care for you in your life?17/07/2017 #3 Cyndi wilkinsI love that you are a 'think-feel' person...So many of us have been desensitized by our struggles that we forget what it is like to just show up in our own lives...we lose precious moments focusing on the things we don't have instead of what is right in front of us. You've come full circle my friend...going places that angels fear to tread...I think that qualify's as a Masters''s Degree;-)
- Producer15/07/2017Le Quatorze JuilletWhen it comes to holidays, the one that is truly special to me is, today. Nothing like a holiday you aren't aware of until you are 20, to become the one where you celebrate your own traditions, in your own way, free to cherish the sorts of things...
Comments15/07/2017 #6 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#3 Having been recently liberated by a 3rd party of all but a handful of my most precious photos, I can say there is definitely energy captured in those little rectangles of paper. Even ones we don't remember, since they'd been securely packed away for years. I scanned so much useless financial stuff and never thought of the scenario of the photos being taken.
In my own case, I didn't immerse myself to the extent I could have. And getting into the feel of joyful immersion is exactly what I am courting right now. I can use moments like this one to calibrate my shifting into the calm, giggling present.15/07/2017 #3 Tricia Mitchell"we are often our own worst captors and Independence from fear is a state of mind worth partying into." Totally agree @Deb 🐝 Helfrich
I enjoyed this snapshot of your life during your immersion summer in "gay Paree".
"Sometimes a photo of a moment of simple, pure joy can be a gateway into reigniting that feeling, even decades later."
I currently believe that photos contain the energy and trap the e-motions we associated with that time. A healer friend highlighted a photo that I passed daily in my environment (she had never physically seen my home), which was undermining my perception of my own authority. After that experience, I proceeded to release my attachment to a number of photos I was fond of, and burned them. I felt incredibly lighter afterwards, but the head work to let go of the argument for keeping them for sentimental value was "interesting" to say the least.
I don't think we realise during our youth just how carefree and fun-filled life can be - we just live it. We create the fun; we take those good times for granted and then we "grow up" and partying falls further down the priorities list. As Nike say (we 'should') "Just Do It!" ☺
- Producer14/07/2017The Struggle to Respond AccuratelyThe precious Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador and I had an impactful DM conversation, yesterday. It started prosaically enough when I let her know about a new hive: Service Professionals Network...
Comments20/07/2017 #23 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#22 What a very rich comment, @Sue Bryan. Of course, synchronistically, this is the quote that arrived in my heart, yesterday, by Martha Beck:
"I’ve seen that what we’re most afraid to lose is never a thing, person, or situation, but our story about how that thing will make us happy, conform to our ego’s desires, and remain forever unchanging. This is true even when the thing is our own body.
I’ve seen that when we relinquish our stories—when the truth of our soul kills the narrative we’re spinning out to impress ourselves and others—we reach acceptance and suffering ends."
I somehow got the story that my body knows how to heal in those precious first years and sure enough, I live outside western medicine. Even though the media is hellbent on changing this belief, they can't touch it, because I have 48 years of solid evidence.
My post 'No More Sweet Little Lies' was about facing up to these internal stories. I had no idea, until I started challenging myself to radical accuracy, just how thoroughly I'd let a story stand, rather than be bluntly curious about all the presuppositions and assumptions wrapped up in a pat answer.
So while my health story is utterly beneficial, my work story has/is harming me. It is proving to be a difficult root to uncover, it is buried deep down.20/07/2017 #22 Sue Bryan#21 @Deb 🐝 Helfrich :) I am pondering the stories we tell ourselves and how they limit us. There are personal stories like ones related to self-esteem, and cultural stories that run deep in our subconscious minds. One particular story that almost everyone tells some version of is the story that we weaken as we age. One might argue that this story comes from observing evidence in the world around us, but I am more and more convinced that we manufacture evidence to "prove" our stories and not the other way around. So, why have we so completely embraced this particular story? Even people who are determined to stay healthy joke about "senior moments" and failing vision or creaky joints.
I wonder what others think about this...
My theory is that stories like this arise from a misconception or over-reaching of the focus that creates physical life. We have to really believe that we are separate in order to experience a normal human life where we are separate and different from each other. When we are convinced of our separateness, story lines arise from that belief and the fear and longing that it instills in us. 'Decline with age' is one of these stories. Another is the story that our bodies have mysterious functions that we don't understand, and that they are vulnerable to sudden attacks from germs or insects or predators or mutations... And that we have to protect ourselves from all those terrifying things.17/07/2017 #19 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#18 You've pretty much nailed the introvert-centric feeling of wanting, craving, needing 'deep-talk', @Sue Bryan.
I recently read a post on LI by Max Noble who has pegged this as social mindfulness, which is quite a spot-on way to describe what goes missing when we live our lives at the speed of our technology.
And the fact of the matter is, we need input from strangers in order to gain a new and different perspective.
Cultivating this presence, to sense when just a little more needs said, to be able to invest a few more moments to share a couple of true sentences, would revolutionize our world.
I think of these people who have hit a point in their life of being able to commit a heinous act. I know that a genuine kindness may have rerouted them during that last day. I am certain that kindnesses have done this work and we have been spared in ways we won't ever be able to celebrate.
I may challenge myself to start asking "What are you pondering about these days?" A novel question is very like to disrupt our habitual patterns.17/07/2017 #18 Sue BryanThanks for this post @Deb 🐝 Helfrich. I have struggled with finding the appropriate response too. It seems to me that in the context of a larger conversation the question, "Are you OK?" is an invitation to check inwardly and share with the questioner any part of the journey that presents itself.
The harder question for me is the greeting, "How are you?" As @Harvey Lloyd said below, the answer is always, "fine." I know that i am fine even if my world is a bit rocky for now. I would love us to replace this automatic way of greeting, which at its heart is often inauthentic (does the person really care how you are?) with something more real: I see you. Here we are together. What's happening in your life right now? Can I share what's happening in my life with you?
Or some other formula that promotes connection.17/07/2017 #16 Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand AmbassadorWow. @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, this put a smile on my face, a song in my heart and a tear in my eye. You are truly a lovely person with sincerity that shines through every word you write. I glad you're "peachy keen" and proud of you for taking on and meeting your goals for your publishing challenge. I'm looking forward to knowing the end of your sentence: "Great, because....". I feel certain it will be good news.16/07/2017 #14 Harvey Lloyd#12 Everyone goes through the transition of youthful bliss to wisdom. Or as you have identified, the mid-life crisis. Mine was no different than most.
My youthful energy to carry the issues of the day waning and moving from i can do anything to i want to do nothing. I had lost my purpose once i lost my youthful energy. Small business has been my battle ground of swinging the sword for thirty years, at twenty years i entered the perspective of cognitive dissonance. Everything i believed to be true up to that point was found to be false or non motivational.
Like yourself a journey began. I usually seek the question before i even attempt to provide an answer to the issues of the day/life. During this journey i reduced it to purpose. What purpose do i serve? I discovered that my purpose was one that required youth to keep it in play. This was fading and i needed a common purpose that allowed wisdom to meet challenges and not youthful bliss.
I "was" all things in all settings as my youth allowed me the energy and focus to push through most anything. My purpose was to be out in front leading through crisis.
My new purpose is to serve where i stand and share journeys with others if only for a time. This removed the outcome from the equation and focused on the service only. It removed control questions and introduced influence.
May your journey be wise and short.15/07/2017 #12 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#6 Thanks for such a detailed answer, @Harvey Lloyd, we have this tendency in common.
I feel like if something is worthy of my attention, it is worthy of my full focus.
Your metaphor of providing a ladder completely explains what I knew was a potential if I could accurately respond. A bit of perspective, some encouragement, perhaps a concrete suggestion or two.
And yet, because I am in turmoil, really do identify with being in a stage of mid-life crisis, I just spun out in formulating a response that was accurate, but not over-the-top.
I will even confess to further struggling as I approached beginning to respond to comments. It took me a day, after all.
But I know this is part of a life-transition. Being unsure. And I am fortunate enough to have built a community, where I can openly share. Both to reorient myself and to shine a light for others.15/07/2017 #11 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#5 Small talk, definitely has its place. As I said, the addition of a smile or a wink can add a great deal of value to anyone's day. I don't want to diminish the impact that the social niceties certainly offer.
And I believe, @Aleta Curry View more#5 Small talk, definitely has its place. As I said, the addition of a smile or a wink can add a great deal of value to anyone's day. I don't want to diminish the impact that the social niceties certainly offer.
And I believe, @Aleta Curry, that a good life has a steady stream of OKs!
But there are crucial moments in life, where we could all get so much farther along, by stopping and answering accurately. In the context of a rather open exchange, with someone whose opinions we respect. That urge to not go deeper, further can really be a detriment to both people. We never know what will arise if we keep a conversation flowing. Close15/07/2017 #10 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#4 Brilliant point, @Tausif Mundrawala. The questioning habit can be off-putting to people who fall towards the 'small-talk' end of the spectrum. Those of us on the deep-talk side like to question and contextualize and generally come away from a conversation having learned and felt and connected with the person in a unique way.
It is the case that we have a community of people on beBee who, even in tiny, virtual comment boxes, like to connect. Most of us type to communicate and learn. A rarity in the online world.15/07/2017 #9 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#3 There are certainly moments of quick exchange, were just the smile that accompanies a quick OK does the trick.
The challenge presents itself with someone you've established 'conversational closeness' with. And you have something to say. But you aren't quite in a place of blurting it all out. And, yet, you know the person wants to sincerely help. But you don't know where that synergy is.
We've experienced how this can happen in text and via webcam, but with the tone of voice and facial expressions added to the mix, we get there so much quicker and easier.15/07/2017 #7 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#1 I have to start by saying, I always wondered how you kept up your publishing pace, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. I am now starting to see how the practice itself frees one to show up each day. What seems in abstract hard to do, is easy once the momentum is in our favor. This is a factor in so many aspects of our lives. And I intend to apply it to the parts of creating a business that aren't exactly my strong skills.
While habits can enslave us, a consciously built process can free us, in equal measure.
How I am, at this precise moment, is thoroughly grateful for the overwhelmingly supportive appreciation that I am receiving.15/07/2017 #6 Harvey LloydPurpose, Passion, Execution and Outcome. If someone asks if i am "okay" i would have to answer from one of these conditions.
I have lost one, gained one or am frustrated with one. The question always appears in the context of "feelings" or core issues?
More importantly when someone asks the question we sense we need to answer within the affirmative because if we dont....we may be judged. I submit that there is a different way to answer that invites a shared experience. I am always fine, but sometimes my journey is difficult in finding the right choices.
I had to learn a hard lesson. Everyone has peaks and valleys. No one can reach down from their peak and help me out of my hole. Maybe a bit to pragmatic but true. What they can do is provide me with the ladder to climb out. I must give them the opportunity to share their ladder experience from one of their previous climbs.
When i am not ok according to social standards of the day i single out the one of four areas and meditate on execution/guidance. If asked if i am OK i can now offer yes i am fine but my journey in a specific area has challenged my skill, knowledge or execution.
Your journey of understanding is worthy @Deb 🐝 Helfrich
- Producer13/07/2017Be the Star in Your Own LifeAnyone a fan of Nurse Jackie? The show was a brilliantly crafted and executed enterprise full of artisans at the top of their game. One of the things I dislike about the streaming phenomenon is missing out on the commentaries. Edie Falco and the...
Comments14/07/2017 #27 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#15 Thanks so much, @Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, you have a 50% chance of appearing in this evening's selection. Two topics became emergent today and we will just see which one can be pulled together when I get back to the keyboard after dinner with my neighbors.14/07/2017 #25 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#13 I so appreciate this comment, @Lada 🏡 Prkic. Sort of like you, I wrote a lot for work, as a software consultant documentation was king, but, geez was he a stoic.... :)
Although, maybe even then, I occasionally had someone comment that my user's guides were easy to follow and fun to use.14/07/2017 #24 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#10 #12 I kept on for a few years in my own corvette. It is just so funny how we develop these virtual friendships that matter a lot, but we are devoid of so many of the details. They are just waiting for those prolonged conversations.
The education of life doesn't have questions created to elict an answer, we have to work hard and constantly keep revising!14/07/2017 #23 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#9 I get a little smirk when I hear some of these 'devices' that are quite standard, @Shelley Brown - I'm going from the heart on this, but we have way overdone the semantic precision thing. Because, sure, I know, we all need to keep ratcheting ourselves back into the present. But that is the lesson, that is the point. The resaying often comes across as being bossy. It is a thin line for the coach to not ratchet the person into being triggered rather than the peaceful now.14/07/2017 #21 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#5 It was such a stellar long-term story about the ravage of a full-blown addiction. A very human portrayal, that didn't shy away from the wreckage it produced around her. And that is the thing with most of our issues, unintended consequences loom large on those closest to us.14/07/2017 #17 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#2 Thank you for a poetic account at how we ultimately have a chance to produce some of our best writing. @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. We must focus on the craft of cloud-making. Whether it rains or resounds with others is truly a phenomenon that will occur based on a large variety of environmental factors.
A writer's job is to focus on offering the most complete word cloud they can accomplish in any given piece.14/07/2017 #16 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#7 It never occurred to me that the concept of celebrity might arise from this buzz, @Bernard Poulin, as it has nothing to do with wealth or fame. It is about finding work that brings you joy, and being able to accept when you excel at it.
But context is an elusive thing on the internet.
So thanks for the chance for me to bring clarity to what being the star of our own lives means to me. I'd say it is 60% remembering that we are a celestial body and 40% owning the responsibility that we are the only person who can ensure that we are center-stage in our own lives.
Driving a Ferrari, which, I have to admit, is only a sliver as real to anyone just reading it from their screen, as it is to me having had to opportunity to enjoy one actress portray delivering this line from another she admired, means that we can can be present to the fact that there are rare, elusive moments when what we are doing in life feels as well-oiled as the world's greatest performance machine.
Not at all sure of the source of these quotes, but I have no problem stating that I resemble this statement as often as is humanly possible: "May the world recognize our extraordinary uniqueness in equal measure to the awe with which we behold others" and in many ways it is exactly what is happening in this buzz.13/07/2017 #13 Lada 🏡 PrkicDeb, I admire your experiment on the discipline of publishing a piece of writing every day. So far, so miraculous! You write with your soul and heart, and I can feel that in your every sentence. You deserve all positive feedback that makes you clap and dance with joy. :-)13/07/2017 #12 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess@Harvey Lloyd -- I have a formal education, and it takes a back seat to all the "informal" education I've gotten over my lifetime.
Yeah, education helps, but there are so many ways to succeed and all kinds of education. We are always learning, right? And yes -- trial-and-error lessons are among the best.13/07/2017 #11 Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess#3 @Harvey Lloyd -- I have a formal education, and it takes a back seat to all the "informal" education I've gotten over my lifetime.
Yeah, educatoin helps, but there are so many ways to succeed and kinds of education. We are always learning, right? And yes -- trial-and-error lessons are among the best.
- Producer12/07/2017Searching for Flow in the Deep NowToday I have been sick, heartsick, since I listened to the part of me who knew I'd stumbled across a thick tripwire by participating in that Sunday gathering. Today, I had to mourn the loss of all those lost childhood passions. Many of...
Comments13/07/2017 #4 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#3 Steven's talk is a little more presentation/science based, rather than life story/inspirational. But put it in your noggin when you miss running, He covered action/adventure sports and got interested in flow based on athletes busting through world records. There is a way to replace the mental side of what running brought to you....13/07/2017 #3 Shelley Brown"Do what you want to"! "Lost in a rational world", "How much of today promoted me spiritually and how much promoted me financially"? Holy Sh**! The more attention we can put into something we love the more joy we can get from it. Seems so darn simple! Thanks Deb. I am glad these videos brought you into immense possibilities. Only watched the first one and it brought me from crying to making me smile. "Everybody has the capacity to dream up anything they want to...You believe it because you choose to". Good night.
- Producer11/07/2017Monday Morning Quarterbacking.......my Sunday Seeking. Like anyone who grew up in the vicinity of Pittsburgh in the late 70's I know my way around football terminology. Although that's a sweet little lie. My brother grew up in the same house and chose the Browns, because they...
Comments14/07/2017 #9 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#5 So many parents want nothing but the best. Their intentions are good. But goes awry is that presence, attention to what is right in front of them about the special talents and skills of each kid. Noticing what brings intense joy versus drudgery.
I accept the past. But it is changing the present, to be able to connect very disparate things, so that I step ever more unburdened each day into a present that is wide open.
For me, I journaled a lot. Specific to my not being heard and therefore stopping speaking up, the key to my challenge was the publishing part. In facing something you don't know, for some unspecified reason, with a structure, a focus on the discipline itself, it can free up some of the frozen bits.14/07/2017 #7 Lisa 🐝 GallagherPt 2 of 2: I have lost friends to suicide and believe me, they sought help, they tried other modalities of treatment but in the end... something snapped. There is so much more researchers need to learn about the human brain and that's why I seek out and stay with Professionals who I feel are working with researchers and going to conferences that share the latest findings on treatments with therapies and drugs. Many people need psychiatric drugs to calm their brains, bring back semi-homeostasis so they can begin the work that's necessary. For the record, EMDR is not a quick therapy for many. It depends on the layers of trauma, breaks that may be needed if things stimulate overload and it can take quite some time. This is a medical condition and it needs to be seen as such. Extreme intervention is necessary for people who become suicidal. My point, depression can become so severe that a person is unable to see a light at the end of the tunnel and at some point they just don't give a damn anymore because they are so ill.14/07/2017 #6 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher#4 Pt. 1 of 2: Hi @Deb 🐝 Helfrich, I appreciate your feedback and respect the journey you are on. For each of us the journey may differ. The journey can differ for varying reasons. Certain modalities of treatment may work for one person and not for another. I think we need to be careful and not lump everyone into one category.
This is an uplifting statement you made but it doesn't work for many who are in the depths of depression- "Just be careful with telling yourself it "takes time" this can be a trap, because in every second we catch ourselves behaving differently we have to NOTICE, clap and celebrate." I will go as far as to say, we never know who may be on the brink of suicide (many of those people may appear happy for a month or so just before they take their lives). They are in dire need of medical help by Medical Professionals.
I haven't written about this but I have also suffered from Dysthymia for years. There are ebbs and flows. It's easy to pat myself on the back and and celebrate when it seems the 'condition' has left but it's never really gone. (PDD is also known as persistent depressive disorder)
The cause of PDD isn’t known. Certain factors may contribute to the development of the condition. These include:
a chemical imbalance in the brain
a family history of the condition
a history of other mental health conditions, such as anxiety or bipolar disorder
stressful or traumatic life events, such as the loss of a loved one or financial problems
chronic physical illness, such as heart disease or diabetes
physical brain trauma, such as a concussion13/07/2017 #5 Tricia Mitchell#3 there's a reason we find writing cathartic. That practice of journalling helps enormously with bringing unconscious programming into our conscious awareness. Wiping you out sounds like this act sent you into a healing phase.It's interesting how we play out our parents' wishes - my mum decided we'd be lawyers or doctors, because my parents sacrificed all they knew for a life as immigrants in their 'motherland', to give their kids a better future. The problem was that we didn't get to choose what we wanted to "be" when we grew up (and it took decades to realise that our identities are not our careers). It's a shame that the piano was a source of much unhappiness for you, it was something I loved but my mum said she couldn't afford to continue paying for lessons.
This is such great awareness'ing @Deb 🐝 Helfrich "Neglecting to be free to chose my own childhood hobbies set me up for years of self-neglect and self-isolation, as so much of my energy was locked up in combating what I didn't want, that I rarely made the slight pivot to go after what I did want. I replayed the unconscious pattern of shooting myself down before getting my hopes up, as the only long term certainty is I'd be left practicing piano."
Consciously choosing what we want to do is empowering and finally frees us from a life on auto-pilot. The opportunity is it continue being the pilot of our life and planning the correct flight path to take us to our intended destination. I think you've already been cleared for take-off and you're starting to soar.12/07/2017 #4 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#1 Bravo. Just be careful with telling yourself it "takes time" this can be a trap, because in every second we catch ourselves behaving differently we have to NOTICE, clap and celebrate. Strengthen the pathways of how we want to be in the world.
I actually think I explained it very well with an exchange with Mike Johnson on LI... https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/searching-flow-deep-now-deb-helfrich-
There will be a tension for awhile about coming to terms with our pasts, but there is a fork in the road where we will be able to chose to take the long way home, or take the shortcut to a bright, new future.
Stay present, sweetie, and you'll feel when that new shortcut is on the next exit.12/07/2017 #3 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#2 Not in the least, I didn't realize it was current, it is a story that needs to be shouted about! (from wikipedia "His struggle with mental illness, as a result of CTE, at the end of his life was featured in the 2015 film Concussion. Webster was portrayed by David Morse and Dr. Omalu was portrayed by Will Smith.")
And tangential maybe not so much, when something goes drastically wrong in our lives, the root cause is buried in our past and deserves its rightful attention. Because it is dictating how our brain functions right now.
Writing this did something to me, physically. It wiped me out. I flat-lined and then this morning, I started vibrating again in a different way.12/07/2017 #2 Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SAIn my usual tangential (right brained??) way your reference to the Steelers legends of the 70s/80s reminded me of the recent book I read (title escapes me but now a movie starring Will Smith) on the severe brain damage suffered by pro ball players...Iron Mike Webster is a focus of the book..travesty that the NFL covered this up for so many years.Sorry to digress dear @Deb 🐝 Helfrich 😂12/07/2017 #1 Lisa 🐝 Gallagher@Deb 🐝 Helfrich, you wrote, "There is one more thing to say before I get up from this piano stool of regret. To please my father, I arranged, on my own, to play the piano at my 8th grade graduation. This was 100% for them. I remember some surprise. But I remember no gratitude or pride or even a simple well done." I can't imagine how you felt after you succeeded to play. I can understand why the Church experience bothered you with the organ. It brought up a lot of pain that you must have kept deep within your psyche. Eating became comfort for you. I'm sorry that your parents were unable to show their pride and share how proud they were of you. I can't imagine what that does to a child.
I think it's great that you are becoming more self-aware. Once we are able to dig deep within, we begin to understand so much more about ourselves in the present. As you know, I'm in therapy and doing a lot of soul searching/ re-visiting right now and we both understand healing takes time. Sending good thoughts your way, you've got this g/f!!
- Producer10/07/2017Sunday SeekingToday I did something completely out of character. And I am happy to report it will stay outside my character. And yet the process of going, watching how earnestly I applied myself to talking myself out of going, was another learnable lesson. ...
Comments10/07/2017 #10 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#9 I've been doing some wide open confessing, @Lisa Vanderburg, as it became time to stop with my internal sweet little lies - the omissions of saying my truth that ultimately had me blind to my own reality.
@Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee - the mentioning code sometimes conks out around those of us with bees and/or the word beBee in our names.... I am certain that is the problem - which is a classic case of how willing we ALL are to believe we've done SOMETHING wrong. Deb is not around all that often, due to working on a project, but I am certain she thinks highly of you.
Uncovering these presuppositions that keep us behaving in ways we don't even see, is the journey I am on.
What happened early in my life set me up for a life that was missing some very crucial elements and I want all of those obstacles removed, so I can move forward in a totally different manner.
This was a great little journey of self-observation, and I stand by the outcome, find the laughter, no matter how life unfolds. And you are a truly stellar model in that regard, Lisa. Your ability to process the challenges of your combined lives through the lens of a comedy of errors is awe inspiring, a gift, and your most precious resource for making it through whatever manages to show up at any given moment.10/07/2017 #9 Lisa VanderburgHey @Deb 🐝 Helfrich - mea culpa..trying to catch up! Such a thought-provoking buzz and beautifully scribed...it takes STONES!
You have clearly described - to me at least, my angst over social media (this included!). In a setting of bodies, we function not so well; we fell an 'outsider', and are hell-bent to critique it. I know just exactly what you're talking about!
But, remove the body-language, age, gender etc., and we're getting to the point of flipping over ourselves. Don't get me wrong: I probably would've vaulted outta there! That said, it's why I haven't gone back to @Deb Lange (won't let her include me now...?). That may prove my point................you're a love; thanks for your honesty!10/07/2017 #7 Deb 🐝 Helfrich#3 I believe in the power of the essential concept of faith, but I am wary of how far astray the practice of the major organized religions have traveled from meeting the essential spiritual needs of their devotees. But then this component of life was a casualty of my isolationist approach to life, so I have an outsider's perspective.
I wonder how the history of the world might have changed, if instead of so much focus on punishment, religious traditions focused on increasing the love, teaching joy and laughter as founding principles.
This brings me back to the quote that is now front and center in my life:
“Love Me When I Least Deserve It, Because That’s When I Need It Most”
Contextualized in this buzz > https://www.bebee.com/producer/@deb-helfrich/it-s-never-as-pure-as-the-first-time10/07/2017 #5 Tricia Mitchell"I don't exactly have social anxiety. I have Deb wanting to have deep conversations and her being prepared to be asked to justify herself melodrama." This made me smile @Deb 🐝 Helfrich I relate to it in terms of coming to terms with the person I was becoming.
"His laugh portrayed someone who was free to turn up somewhere simply because."
"He wasn't losing massive amounts of his energy justifying his actions to mind-parents who he views as standing in the way of every attempt to experience something new."
Great experience'ing and reflecting on the projections and reality of your latest adventures. Great pic of a rainbow - love 'em, especially double rainbows. Go catch your freedom!10/07/2017 #2 Lyon BraveI go to church a lot. There are many different churches in this world and they are all different. Some churches are like really frightening and close minded. Others are healing like you said. One time i went to church and i got to meet Katy Perry's parents. Now they were the best preachers i've seen.