- Producer08/12/2016Socks, Open-mindedness, and Intolerance MaskedThis buzz is solely my personal opinion and represents a rebuttal to some members of this community. Please do exercise your right to click-away if you are uninterested in hearing about some masked discrimination that I recently experienced, as...
- 21/11/2016Praise on one side, criticism on the other - two sides of the same judgment coin. Yet we crave one and decry the other.
Comments18/11/2016 #1 Deb LangeI agree learning how to share and be with people as equals is imperative today - our challenge is we have been taught how to comply to people who have had authority over us since we were young, then unconsciously we mirror that behaviour. Stepping into noticing and sending we can be different and create better relationships is critical.
- Advice is often the trojan horse of verbal abuse. More at http://conflict911.com The Conflict resource Center
- Why holding people accountable for nasty interactions online is so important. Silence breeds more verbal abuse. The Verbal abuse hive https://www.bebee.com/group/verbal-abuse-on-and-offline
- Judging should be a role not a compulsion. From the verbal abuse hive https://www.bebee.com/group/verbal-abuse-on-and-offline #17
Comments17/11/2016 #3 Deb Helfrich#2 Well, I just ignored the bit I didn't agree with and focused on the part I did. Simple way to use praise as a method to draw the focus without shouting at you that you cannot lump the two methods together, which is what the judger-type would do.
We will disagree about praise - when given to draw attention to the cogent or unexpected or simply entertaining parts of a piece or comment, it works to help people hone in on what has been done well.
Just about everyone invests time in social media to meet a goal of some sort. I take that as my guiding principle. Putting the focus on the best part of what was written is how to help those I chose to help continue, or improve, or move inch by inch toward their goal.17/11/2016 #1 Deb HelfrichNor has there even been, to my knowledge, any sort of manifesto saying that every thing written or shared on social media has to be critiqued.
Sometimes people simply want to be social. Friendly. Chatty. Share a smile. High five. If it is sooo important to a few to judge and offer criticism, when it has not been solicited, perhaps a new platform should be built for that sort of environment. Disruption in both senses....
- 06/11/2016A well written perspective on what I consider issues of identity.There is No 'Authentic Self'upliftconnect.com Is the misguided search for the 'true self' preventing you from embracing yourself as you...
Comments07/11/2016 #8 Sara Jacobovici#6 Nothing to apologize for @Katja Bader. Your English perfectly described your important contribution to this discussion. Thank you for your comment. Honesty is definitely a very important factor of authenticity and I like when you write: "Everybody has got his rootes, perception of life and his own expriences that influences his authentic self."06/11/2016 #6 Katja BaderSorry, my English isn`t so good and maybe I don´t understand everything of this post. But I think everybody can find and live his authentic self if he is realy honest with himself, his failings and forces. And if he is honest to others. Everybody has got his rootes, perception of life and his own expriences that influences his authentic self.06/11/2016 #5 Max J. CarterIt;s not often I read apiece that feels angry. There is so much left out that negates the argument being made that I am not even sure where to begin.
First we are more than a set of chemical responses, there is no acknowledgement of the energetic beings we are.
In simplest terms to bring forth one's true self it is simply first acknowledging the emotional response to any given thing and then understanding why one felt the way one did. This reveals who you truly are to you.
There are no technical steps outside of what I just said to get there.06/11/2016 #1 Sara JacoboviciI posted the following comment on the article: Derek Beres, all the power to you for taking on a complex topic and presenting a clear and insightful perspective. My only disagreement would come in the form of having a different “conceptual definition” of the term “authentic self”. I find that your article discusses issues of identity versus the idea of the authentic self. I define the authentic self as the “core” self, the one who decides “who” will be present at the meeting at work, the parents/teachers meeting, meeting with a friend for lunch, sitting down at the piano, easel, keyboard or any creative medium, and so on. The core self is consciously choosing what to sound like or look like given any situation or circumstance, basing the decision on what others expect of us or what we expect of ourselves.
- Producer05/11/2016How Many Of These Communication Fire Starters Do YOU Use Regularly?Communication that CREATES ConflictLearn to communicate effectively to reduce conflict Remove barriers to communication and reduce conflict. Check out the book, Conflict Prevention In The Workplace - Using Cooperative Communication A lot of the...
Comments05/11/2016 #1 Michele WilliamsI quote "Poor communication causes hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and tends to erode "Poor communication causes hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and tends to erode relationships, sometimes to the point where the relationship is not fixable." Important information. I think every one would benefit from a top 10 list on this topic and an infographic or maybe a series of posts. Thanks for sharing @Robert Bacal please tag me on related posts.
- Producer05/11/2016Eleven Things That Create Resistance And Anger In Others (Free Excerpts)Stop starting conflict by eliminating these eleven conflict habitsConflict In Your LifeEleven Things That Create Resistance And Anger In Others (Free Excerpts)Summary: By eliminating these eleven anger provoking behaviors from your repertoire you...
Comments06/11/2016 #10 AnonymousI've seen and experienced a lot of negative - it is part of being alive. I've also seen and experienced a lot of positive - it's just as real! But in my experience, positive is better and that is where I choose to 'live'. You are so right @Dean Owen View moreI've seen and experienced a lot of negative - it is part of being alive. I've also seen and experienced a lot of positive - it's just as real! But in my experience, positive is better and that is where I choose to 'live'. You are so right @Dean Owen - life is too short! Close06/11/2016 #7 Harvey Lloyd@Robert Bacal the challenges of communications in such a noisy environment requires many approaches to get heard. A positive agenda for an outcome can be met with a negative writing style. Media today, in all forms, realizes that negative/positive or emotional engagement through taking a stand or showing a sad puppy will introduce a polarized audience on either side. But it is engagement.
Offering engagement within a seeking or wisdom style is too flat and lacks the roller coaster ride typical engagement. I enjoy watching the circus of writers and delineating what their agenda may be within the writing. This is my agenda, as we all have one.
You list seems accurate but is also listing the exactly what engages folks. This is a sad truth but we can see it in politics, social settings and clearly online. It would appear that just experiencing the human dynamic is not enough we must have a agenda/side, engage it emotionally and polarize. This will be our ultimate understanding 100 years from now.
Call it social growing pains. What happens when everyone has a microphone?06/11/2016 #6 Aurorasa SimaGood list, Robert. Thanks for sharing!
I believe 6 and 7 often come in combination with the inability to let go of things. It´s amazing how even someone speaking the truth can become annoying from the unfortunate combination of 6, 7 and what I´d like to call 6a).
Lucky are those who have access to this list.06/11/2016 #5 Mohammed A. JawadOh, sometimes confused communication makes others crazy and it spews sheer conflicts. Imagine the harm done when a person feels feverish with thoughts and ideas and publishes it on the media, in haste. Nothing in proper sense, but all like random expressions stitched with silly words. A vile gossip, a pungent back-biting or wandering notions can blotch one's feelings. So, let's think, censor and re-think before we publish anything. Instead silence is better than hasty viewpoints.06/11/2016 #4 Lisa GallagherI've learned to stay silent for quite some time now. I also learned it's OK to speak out against injustices if we are being attacked or see another being attacked. I will not attack the attacker or become like that of the attacker. I just wrote on @Franci Eugenia Hoffman View moreI've learned to stay silent for quite some time now. I also learned it's OK to speak out against injustices if we are being attacked or see another being attacked. I will not attack the attacker or become like that of the attacker. I just wrote on @Franci Eugenia Hoffman buzz that I'm learning a lot from those who've done this much longer than myself, beBee and it's team being such a great example. If I feel I may say something I could regret, I won't comment. I'm not here for controversy or to make enemies. There will always be a few who thrive on controversy, not sure why... maybe they are trying to draw more people in. Sort of reminds me of the negative stuff the media spews, people become addicted, it's like a soap opera and they keep coming back for more. Close
- Producer26/10/2016What Are Kids Learning From The 2016 USA Election Campaign, and What Parents and Teachers Can Do About ItWhat Are Kids Learning From The 2016 USA Election Campaign, and What Parents and Teachers Can Do About It By Robert BacalThe following appeared on the Building Bridges Between School and Parents Website. While it's about what our children may be...
Comments27/10/2016 #4 Praveen Raj Gullepalli#3 Yes Sirree! Avidly! You shd see the Trump memes floating around! There is always a lot of talk around the US elections...and foreign policy implications with neighbouring nations and the US Visa angle. You know how it is. Every Indian professional is considered incomplete unless he or she is US-returned (sadly that is happening less nowadays as folks go and never come back..brain drain). On an aside, Bill Clinton visited our facility (the place that i work at) many years ago when he was in power, along with the Chief Minister of our state. The sapling that he planted is now a tree. However, one cannot get high on its leaves! ;)26/10/2016 #1 Praveen Raj GullepalliDear Bob...being on this side of the planet I was taken aback a few evenings ago when my kids - son 14 and daughter 19 - brought up the election over dinner. I was shocked to find the elder a demo and the younger a repo. Taking sides. I was totally at a loss for words as much as America seems to be at a loss for choice. I let them argue for a while...and steered the conversation to the chicken curry in a hurry! ;) Wifey was pleased to have the table discuss her cooking. Cooking is her trump card and any way the conversation was far from being hillarious ;)
- Producer04/07/2016Is this becoming a world of ANGRY people?Please don't shout at me, it's just a personal observation, but I do believe we are suffering from a surge of anger. It's a strange conundrum because I also sense a strong peace movement, a rise in the practice of meditation and a yearning for...
Comments17/10/2016 #75 Joel Anderson#69 @Gerald Hecht As Captain Jack Sparrow might say: “The seas may be rough, but I am the Captain! No Matter how difficult, I will always prevail.” “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” On that theme, might I just add a Walt Whitman-ism , “Oh Captain! my Captain!--Arrgh…
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@joel-anderson/the-power-of-1-let-go-of-your-anger-legoya17/10/2016 #70 Donna-Luisa Eversley#68 @Gerald Hecht at some point , it may be realized you have enough negatives to be off balance...hence helping out with some good, to keep your negative flow in check..haha😀.. your bravery abounds, and your persistent courage is admirable. To stand up for your beliefs right or wrong indicates an individualistic mind and a sense of purpose. As we saw recently , you had a huge natural disaster challenge and you kept fighting...now you want me to help you with negatives...hmmm..lost on that 😀😀
- Producer11/10/2016Hive Talk Special - Featuring "Sanctuary" owned by Irene HackettA Sanctuary, where people go for peaceful tranquility, Well Being and WellnessThere is no excuse for Verbal Abuse On and OfflineWhat we need is Nature and Sustainability - ideas for a better worldhttps://www.bebee.com/group/sanctuary Sanctuary...
- 05/10/2016DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this video is comedic entertainmentMy Anti-Bullying Video Here is my Anti-Bullying video. I take a stand against all of those who insult and bully me within and around the world. To learn about the making of this...
- 18/09/2016Different kinds of Internet trolls explained by...get this, a "Troll Scholar" and there's even research.A Step-by-step Guide to Dealing With Trollsfusion.net Sorry trolls, but the gloves are coming...
- Producer18/09/2016LinkedIn: Land of Trolls, Haters and Fakes - Is beBee Far Behind?Lately, I decided to post onto my LinkedIn account and it didn't take long for the haters to come out. I define a "hater" as someone who is critical of a post but chooses not to explain why. Instead, they use phrases such as "This is garbage"...
Comments20/09/2016 #98 Vincent AndrewYes I've had the "big busted women" following me too @Cory Galbraith but I am not following them back. No chance. Bebee is a place to feel refreshed, to read other people's experiences and views and certainly not to be attacked. So far the people I have followed have produced good quality honey and that is a pretty good reason for me to stay.20/09/2016 #97 William VanDorin#92 I am possessed of outrageous opinions and the tenacity of a badger, I have had my share of trolls. I openly mock them in a none hostile way, often arguing their side of the excrement they are flinging to much better effect! They loose interest rather quickly when they realize you are having fun with it. In the end they are wishing I would just stop, but again, the whole tenacity thing! LOL!19/09/2016 #92 Phil Friedman#89 No, William, it does make a difference. I have a pet troll, or rather a groupie troll who stalks my profile daily so he can find my posts and comments, then shows up there with, commonly, arrogant, thinly disguised by personal attacks on my writing, ethics, intentions, or style. Since this has been going on for over two years, I am both bored with, and indifferent to the obviously I'll-motivated slurs. But it does often dampen the enthusiasm that many have for the conversation at hand, which is a pity. For many times that conversation is lively and interesting, until this troll shows up with his non-sequiturs and smelly red herrings,19/09/2016 #89 William VanDorinWe need the trolls. they are a poignant reminder of ignorance and where humanity needs work. With the proper attitude haters can be such fun, as they seem to be very easy to anger to the point of nonsensical ranting. Is it sinister to provoke such venomous people for sport and amusement? Who am I kidding? I don't care! Go ahead, hate on me... I could use the diversion.19/09/2016 #86 Jim MurrayInteresting Post @Cory Galbraith. I won't explain why (LOL). But I think you nailed it with your thought on the level of civility in society declining. There are a lot of things you can point to as causes for this. But mostly I think it's simply that people don't respect each other to the degree that they used to. The internet and all that comes with it gives people the freedom to be rude and insensitive without any fear of recrimination. So they do. And if you think LinkedIn is bad, you should try commenting honestly on a sports site like TSN.com. They're all animal over there. I think it was Thoreau that said "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation". But that was before the internet. Now they lead lives of willful ignorance and disrespect, which stems, to some degree, from a false sense of entitlement. Me. Me. Me. It's all about me. Thanks for the post. I'll share it in the Beezers Hive.19/09/2016 #84 Paul "Pablo" CroubalianRe Big Booby Ladies: everyone has been getting followed from the same obvious scammers. MY METHOD: I do not use the no thanks link. I open in a new tab, check the profile. If I follow, fine. If not I just close the tab and ignore it. Otherwise, you are liable to get repeated follows.19/09/2016 #79 Robert Bacal#75 Actually, Phil, I just wish you'd stop the tap dancing before you end up in the tub, but that's another issue. If you are referring to my response to you, rather than using this kind of vagueness, I'll explain, although sadly you did not ask. A friend tells another friend when they have toilet paper stuck to their shoes. An enemy lets you walk out with that toilet paper on your shoe because it will make you feel stupid. I'm neither friend, nor your enemy. I wrote what I wrote since you mentioned being criticized, but you left out part of the equation SOMEONE should care enough about you to tell you.19/09/2016 #77 Phil Friedman#73 Aurorasa, I like you 2-reply rule, except I not sure that it works for all contexts. Some of the best conversations I've been involved in on social media have gone on for much longer, and for many more back and forths than that. Depends on the participants and their objectives and expectations, I think. And I also think that we should not modify what we do in such discussions based upon how they might "look" to outsiders -- unless we believe that all our activity online is for display purposes only. Cheers!19/09/2016 #75 Phil Friedman#69 Aurorasa and Cory, I think you now have before you a perfect example of the difference between discussing ideas and opinions, and expressing derogatory remarks directed at one personally. What blows me away is the obvious insensitivity to the difference, and the ability to claim the moral high ground, whilst doing exactly the opposite. A casebook paradigm out of Orwellian double-speak.
- 18/09/2016FREE! 10 ways to manage employee conflict and improve office communication, the workplace environment and team productivity.
Disputes between employees are inevitable. But if left unresolved, they can disrupt your department’s productivity, sap morale and even cause some good employees to quit. That’s why Business Management Daily has prepared this “workplace survival” special report for managers, employees and HR professionals. Learn how to resolve workplace conflict on everything from refereeing staff rivalries to dealing with a boss who’s throwing more than just a temper tantrum to managing co-worker resentment when you get a promotion.Workplace Conflict Resolution, Free Business Management Daily Reportwork911.tradepub.com Free Report to Workplace Conflict Resolution 10 ways to manage employee conflict and improve office communication, the workplace environment and team...
- 17/09/2016Hawksbury school kids send a message after bullying related suicide. Remember that every time a child views abusive verbal behavior, it becomes that much more normalized and considered part of "normal" behavior. Whether on or offline, verbal abuse, and putting others down legitimizes verbal violence. Be careful what you say when you disagree of make public judgments of others online.
- 17/09/2016Today, in our small town was the funeral. If you want to know why I'm so concerned with verbal abuse on and off line, here's one of the answers. Verbal abuse hive is at https://www.bebee.com/group/verbal-abuse-on-and-offline'It hits hard': Hawkesbury student who took her own life was bullied, friends saywww.cbc.ca Friends of a 16-year-old eastern Ontario girl who took her own life yesterday mourned her outside her school...
- 16/09/2016If you can, put aside being pro or con about Donald Trump but read this and focus on his behavior and that of other candidates that are, in essence verbally abusive. Take special notice of how verbal abuse is excused as being honest, etcIf You Can't Recognize Abuse In The World, You Won't Be Able To Stop It In Your Homeconflict911.com
- 15/09/2016Sadly Suzette Haden Elgin, Psycholinguist, SF author and the developer of verbal self defense passed away in 2015. She had a profound effect on my own work and books.
Many of her verbal self defense books are still in print, and I recommend them highly. I had the honor of being contacted by her a number of years ago via email, and I know she was active in social media and blogging until shortly before here death. We lost a good one, but one with an incredibly productive life helping others deal with verbal abuse.R.I.P. Suzette Haden Elgin: Author, Poet, Verbal Self-Defense Coachio9.gizmodo.com Suzette Haden Elgin, who died last week, was a pioneer of using linguistics in science fiction, creating a whole constructed language in her novel Native Tongue. She was a giant of feminist SF. And she helped bring SF poetry to prominence, while...
- 14/09/2016Have you been the target of PRIVATE abuse, attacks or threats sent to you privately as a result of your contributions to either BeBee or LinkedIn? If so, I'd like to hear from you for a potential article I'm contemplating writing. Confidentiality assured. Examples, and some of the text would be great.
If you want to contact me via email, rather than on the platform, my email is email@example.comVerbal Abuse On and OfflineVerbal Abuse On and Offline For discussion of verbal abuse, verbal attacks and any other forms of verbal violence at home, online in social media, and at work. Please try to be constructive in your comments and support others who may be either targets, or people who are
Comments16/09/2016 #5 Robert Bacal#3 Deb @Deb Helfrich I have lots of examples collected over more than a decade, plus current stuff. I'm trying to figure out a way to make use of that material is some sort of constructive way that will help people. The examples tend towards trying to intimidate others, boasting, diminishing, and to third parties, trying to persuade them that a third party is...a troll, or otherwise evil.
One interesting thing about them, is that some, perhaps many of the examples I have are so bad, so extreme that people would hardly believe they are real. That' part of the syndrome when one is targeted because it's hard to believe what one is seeing - that people actually do this stuff. The privacy involved is very much like managerial bullying, or sexutal harrassment - there's a tendency to disbelieve it goes own because we don't SEE it ourselves.14/09/2016 #4 Robert Bacal#3 I am hoping people will step up and offer examples, even if they are anonymous, and I'm going to go through my email archive to see what I can find on my own and that I can share. Clearly the problem with private abuse is very much like sexual harrassment, and other private bullying in that it's one person and the other person out of the spotlight.14/09/2016 #3 Deb Helfrich#2 It would be useful to see some examples. I doubt the offenders would actually bother to read, but it would help the people being subtly bullied to understand it is not about them personally, but rather a manipulation of someone trying to feel better about themselves by making others feel small or wanting to protect some sort of invincible attitude in the public spheres of social media.
- 14/09/2016"The Bully Boss Strikes Again!"
How to deal with bosses who make crazy requests.
The editors of Business Management Daily asked administrative assistants to weigh in with the craziest things their bosses had ever asked them to do. They expected to hear about killer hours, volatile tempers and perfectionist demands. They didn’t anticipate the things you’ll find in this report!The Bully Boss Strikes Again!, Free Business Management Daily Reportwork911.tradepub.com Free Report to The Bully Boss Strikes Again! How to deal with bosses who make crazy...
Verbal Abuse On and Offline~ 100 buzzes
For discussion of verbal abuse, verbal attacks and any other forms of verbal violence at home, online in social media, and at work.
Please try to be constructive in your comments and support others who may be either targets, or people who are trying to alter the way they communicate to be more positive.
Please try to be constructive in your comments and support others who may be either targets, or people who are trying to alter the way they communicate to be more positive.