Aaron 🐝 Skogen en Bee Stories In English, Lifestyle, Writers General Manager • Aquatix 12/10/2016 · 1 min de lectura · +700

Without Direction

Without Direction

My head was buried in the engine compartment of my E46. My hands were scuffed, grubby and wet with coolant as I reassembled the cooling system. From behind me came a voice, “Is your son home”, he asked. Startled, I spun around, hitting my head on the hood latch as I turned to face him. He noticed that he had startled me, and immediately said, “I am so sorry I startled you. Is your head OK?” I chuckled, and told him I was fine, “nothing but a bump, no worries”.

After wiping my hands on a shop towel, we exchanged names and firm handshake. As it turns out, he was our new neighbor. He lives about 4 houses down, and I had not had the opportunity to meet him since he moved in.

He was an older gentleman with kind eyes, wearing blue jeans and nice button down. He came down to visit with a specific intent, to ask our son to help move in a new couch. He explained to me that in the past few months had he had both of his hips replaced, and was breaking-in a new knee as well. He looked great, spry and full of energy. Yet, he said, he could not lift more than forty pounds.

He went to explain that about a week ago my oldest had stopped. Our son was commuting on his bicycle between our home and his high school for marching band practice. He said, he and his son were moving some furniture when my oldest saw them struggling. As he put it “Aaron, your son squealed his tires to stop, hopped off his bike, and offered help”. In minutes the trailer was loaded with the furniture and my son was off to practice.

This left an impression. My Bride later told me that he had walked down and knocked on the door to say thank-you. He thanked my Bride for “raising a fine young man”.

The thing about teenagers is that sometimes as a parent you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing. Yet, when we hear something like this from another person, it hits home that maybe, just maybe, we are on the right track. Of course our son, never mentioned it to us. He said, it was just the “right thing to do” when we told him that our neighbor had stopped by.

We have coached our children to be kind, to give of their time and of their talent without an expectation of anything in return. Sometimes that coaching has resulted in the quintessential “teenage eye-roll”. Other times, the child, without direction, demonstrates that in fact, those lessons stick.


I am a senior operations professional employed by The Toro Company. The comments, opinions and views expressed herein are mine and do not represent those of my employer.

I write to share ideas and generate a conversation. Most often you will find me writing personal stories exploring the correlation between our personal and professional lives.

© 2016 Aaron Skogen

Harvey Lloyd 3/4/2017 · #21

#20 We plant seeds of harmony and understanding. Unfortunately our children must go and seek the experience before the harvest. This usually manifests somewhere between 25-30. You will know the harvest is upon you when you here them say, "I am becoming my parents."

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Aaron 🐝 Skogen 3/4/2017 · #20

#19 We are in that stage with our oldest two. Plenty of conversations about potential outcomes of one decision vs. another. I agree, its a bumpy road sometimes and heart-wrenching at times too, yet I hope we've given them a good foundation.

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Harvey Lloyd 3/4/2017 · #19

#18 We learned that we were getting through by understanding that the fight of independence was a challenging brain over load that we were feeding into. Repetition and the occasional STOP sign helped us guide our children through the pitfalls presented by independence. The haunting question for us was always how far could you let them fail before pulling them back?

We new they needed to experience the edges of life while they were able to get feedback from us, before the world got a hold of them. Tough calls made but now, empty nest, i would do it all over again.

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Aaron 🐝 Skogen 3/4/2017 · #18

#16 I hear you on that @Harvey Lloyd, ". . .um, what, are you talking about my kid?" I've definitely had that response before, yet it sure is nice to get the feedback now and then. Especially when no else was watching.

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Aaron 🐝 Skogen 3/4/2017 · #17

#15 Thank you so much @🐝 Fatima G. Williams. He's a good kid ;-)

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Harvey Lloyd 2/4/2017 · #16

We use to laugh when our children would participate with other families. The feedback was always positive and what great well mannered children we have. We always questioned them as to who's children actaully were with them. :) As a parent it is difficult to know did we get through the thick wall that always seemed to be there. We started to recognize that our commentaries and discussions seemed to show up later on as their own thoughts.

Its always nice to get a little feedback that we are on the right course and getting through to those we are responsible to guide.

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Your raising a fine young man with a heart of gold just like the father. Wishing him all the best to a fantastic future.

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Aaron 🐝 Skogen 20/2/2017 · #14

#12 #13 I read right past that @Todd Jones :-). I am so happy you found it relevant and I agree, kids, no kids, it's a relatable topic. The loftiest title I could have ever imagined is "Father" (I prefer "Dad"), its truly a humbling and immensely rewarding experience. . . I recently returned from a mission trip to Haiti with this same son, it was amazing to see him working alongside our team and with the people there. You might enjoy my post entitled "Sunshine in a Bottle", the subject of that story is my youngest. . . Thanks so much for finding this post and sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it!

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