Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee en Lifestyle, Writers, Marketing 3/12/2017 · 1 min de lectura · 2,2K

Issues on Closeness

Issues on Closeness

How close can two friends get to each other? Is it judged by our feelings to a friend? How does closeness figure out in our actions such as touching a friend’s hand rather than nodding a head to salute him?

How close is it advisable to get to your customers?

How close can we bring two ideas together?

Two close words, but with widely differing meaning such as week and weak. Can proximity lead us to assumptions reading the other wrong and understand him less? Can proximity kill? This is what I call “confusing closeness”. Have you been confused by a close friend?

A wife sitting close to her husband, but in reality they are far away.

Does closeness bring the wrong feelings that being close we have the right to ask for more than a partner can chew? Many relations ended up in separation for one of the dark sides of closeness is demanding more.

The easiness of substituting real friends with virtual friends may bring two friends apart. The frequency of contacts gets less and less with real friends and they feel increasingly ignored or discarded. The two friends are no friends anymore.

Two close friends with frequent meetings may start to notice the small bad habits of the other. Small today, but with time they might reach their criticality and explosion occurs. Because of our tendency to ignore small problems, they have the chance to grow, unite, and eventually have enough time to grow. This is the hidden power of being small. It is our interpretation of small things that make them important especially if these small, but nauseating things are repeated frequently.

When two electrons get close to each other they repel each other. When a hedgehog gets close to another hedgehog in winter to warm up they soon realize that their thorny spikes hurt each other. So, they keep a distance enough to get the warmth they need.

But there are also the two flint stones as they shall ignite if we rub them against each other. It is also the rubbing of the steel bar of a screwdriver that get it magnetized. It is the fusion of two souls and not keeping them as two moieties that make a wife and husband unite as one. It is the heat of discussions and anger that make the magnet lose its magnetism. Heated discussions that charge both partners with a negative charge and therefore become repellent of each other. Small conflicts slowly reduces magnetism, but later the heat of conflict and rubbing may permanently remove magnetism in a relationship.

I would love sharing your views and experiences on the closeness issue.

#23 thank you for your excellent feedback @Proma 🐝 Nautiyal. I agree with you and see eye to eye with your comment.
You refer to atguments that lead to conflicts. By the way this is my nnext buzz theme. You are too a mind-reader.

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Proma 🐝 Nautiyal 5/12/2017 · #23

I couldn't agree more, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. For me, too much proximity is never a good idea. Everyone needs their own space. Otherwise without that space people will feel suffocted and might end of venting on the closest person. "Space" shouldn't be a luxury but a necessity to have healthy relationships, be it with one's spouse, friends, colleagues, or parents and siblings. Everybody should be allowed some breathing space.

Also, I believe, instead of arguments people should have discussions, with an open mind. That helps two people understand each other better, rather than going on the defensive. Every quarrel brings out some insight. It is up to us to ensure the insight is good rather than a disturbing one.

Thank you for writing about such a pertinent topic sir. I really enjoyed reading it.

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Harvey Lloyd 4/12/2017 · #22

#20 Things do change. We use our bed to sleep and our car to arrive somewhere. Relationships are the same. We walk large journies with some, small ones with others. Some we simply enjoy the company. All of these journeys leave a mark on us as we separate and form new adventures.

Because of our top 5 close relationships ( Marriage, family extended family)the rest would almost always be in a state of flux. Which i believe i carved out of @CityVP 🐝 Manjit next to last paragraph.

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Harvey Lloyd 4/12/2017 · #21

#15 I believe the word "Bound" is the word that i was describing. We bind for different purposes. Its when the binding effort takes on more than it should. I can't bind beyond what my family is willing to sacrifice. With each bound relationship we must consider that each member is already bound in others.

Respecting previous promises to others at various levels of binding together is my central point. I have watched relationships grow (close) but then someone places a load on the relationship that has you determining your higher level relationships willingness to give you up.

Within leadership we sometimes meet people who are over committed in serving to many relationships. They can't bind at the level we are needing. Not a judgement but rather a view of the person unable to respond at the level they need due to prior commitments. Can i really ask them to break those for my own? But equally each of us should be respectful when asked to commit to a relationship whether we can perform at the level expected.

Great points and my thoughts are mainly surrounding the choice of relationship. Based on someone's energy level and purpose i may only be able to maintain a acquaintance level relationship, however i may be able to jump all in if the journey could serve both towards different goals.

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Lisa Vanderburg 4/12/2017 · #20

So many great comments! Closeness requires some measure of loyalty, trust and fealty, that are too often misplaced or mismatched depending on the circumstances. I like @Harvey Lloyd's tier-system. I am too often torn on this issue because of basically what @CityVP 🐝 Manjit said: things change, move, are rent-apart.

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#18 The dancing metaphor is superb @Savvy Raj. Like you wrote "Like different dances have different degrees of proximity between dancers so as to lead and follow well, different relationships in life". You remind me of flock of birds flying while keeping a distance so as not to collide. We need a "safety space" to enjoy our authenticity and to avoid collisions. Movement requires some space to be able to keep moving while also keeping proximity with others.

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Savvy Raj 4/12/2017 · #18

I appreciate this buzz@Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee and the questions you have raised for it is something that is very relevant to one and all .And to be fair it is something I do address from the perspective of learners learning to dance with one another. For to me dancing teaches great lessons in living life fine .
Like different dances have different degrees of proximity between dancers so as to lead and follow well, different relationships in life, both personal and professional also demand different degrees of personal spaces so as to function its optimum best . And added to that is the cultural differences in the norms .As long as we are able to recognize and respect them and take care to not overstep, the relationship will be just fine.

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#15 great thoughts @CityVP 🐝 Manjit7
Your comments need buzzes to respond to.
I shall focus for now on what you wrotr "If we are wise then we begin to see what is the meaning of closeness and value of knowing becoming close is not something forever". Towards the end of your comment you mentioned the few close relations that survive.
Yes and relations go through ebbs and flows. No matter what to sustain them we need to keep them energized. When we get cool towards a close relation we do the opposite and weaken the bond rather than strengthening it.
I believe that the possibility that a close friend may become the worst enemy is there. Keeping some safety distance so that we may get the warmth of a relationship without allowing the tiny spikes of hidden irritants to grow into thorny are repulsive spikes is a safer option

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