Pairing Minds

Pairing Minds

It is easy to write comments that criticize new thinking. People tend to stay with the familiar. Imagine a training company delivering courses on strategic planning and its reaction to a new idea that strategic thinking is no more valid because of the rapid changes in our world on all fronts. Would the training company accept the challenging idea or fight it?

The maturity in responding widely to new ideas plays a great part in how we react to new ideas.
Aurorasa SimaI wrote a great post on LinkedIn on “The surprising danger of being a blogger”. them. One suggestion that attracted my attention is “Try to find the hidden gems in the cloud of dismiss-worthy feedback”. This is pertinent to posts that suggest new ideas.

I experienced this “danger” myself on my buzz titled “Pairing Repellent Comments” In line with Aurorasa wrote, Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA made the following comment, which I believe is mature, to the point and is moral. Jean wrote “Personally, I've found something which resonates with me in almost every article or post I've chosen to read. In short, disagreeing or holding another point of view doesn't give any of us the freedom to personally attack the individual who wrote it. While the beliefs, ideas and interests of those whose posts/articles we read aren't necessarily our own, I believe we should all follow these basic rules - 1) Maintain your professionalism; 2) be respectful and agree to disagree. 3) Speak only for yourself (we have no right to speak for others unless asked to); 4) Speak of the facts (absolutely essential) or use the phrase 'I believe'.

As simple as these four rules may be; yet their effect is profound. I believe that pairing of minds by having opposite thinking is a great way for all of us to learn. However; the reverse is true also. I find Rule 4 of particular interest “4) Speak of the facts (absolutely essential) or use the phrase 'I believe'. This is what I experienced last week. I gave examples of reverse thinking and what it could do. A commenter made me sound as if I am ignorant in spite of all the examples I cited from literature. This gives me the opportunity to provide more examples here. The commenter is not violating the rules, but is also denying the efforts of all people who work hard to publicize their experiences. The question that remains is “what motivates those people to behave this way”?

The Importance Of Thinking Backwards, And 5 Inverted Questions ...

Charlie Munger on the Value of Thinking Backward and Forward


Moving Forward with Backward Thinking | blog

Reverse chronology - Wikipedia

Reverse Chronology: how & why to write backwards | GreatStorybook ...

How to spot a liar: get them to tell their story backwards | Daily Mail ...

Story Reverse - Changing Minds

Reverse Planning - Portland Community College

These are few examples from literature. Again, I believe reverse thinking is a great way to solve problems and generate new ideas. I shall given real practical and business examples of the ways reverse thinking led to commercial products in a dedicated buzz.

As much as the authors have responsibility to write useful materials, equally the commenter have the responsibility of being responsible for what they comment. In fact, the risks for the commenter might be greater than those for the author.

 I added the graph above in an attempt to focus our discussion. The value of a comment and its relevancy to the post versus its “tone” of wording (hostile, belligerent, personal, etc.) is shown in the quadrants below. 

The cycle starts by rejecting new ideas, proceeding to resisting them, to accepting them and then demanding what we rejected. The cycle shall freeze on comments that just have no value for they shall never be accepted or demanded.

Javier 🐝 beBee 13/9/2017 · #165

#163 @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee we are working on thesw kind of features.

Anyway Respect is a must on beBee !

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#163 I drew the attention of @Javier 🐝 beBee to the idea of beBee Filtering Sytem as poropsed in this buzz. he promised some good features are coming soon. Your suggestion is plausible @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

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I avoid people who are aggressive in their comments. It would be nice to have a block feature on beBee like they have on LinkedIn. I welcome opposing points of view when they are expressed cordially without some subtrofugal intent.

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Lada 🏡 Prkic 11/9/2017 · #162

#161 Thanks, Phil. It makes me sad that some comments here have a negative tone. I think we all need to keep energy for battles worth fighting. I don't want beBee to become a battle field. :-)

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Phil Friedman 11/9/2017 · #161

#160 Thank you, @Lada 🏡 Prkic, for helping to keep the record straight. And my thanks to Aurorasa Sima for her continued friendship and willingness to speak openly and fairly. My best to both of you.

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Lada 🏡 Prkic 10/9/2017 · #160

There have been some interesting comments on Aurorasa's post “The surprising danger of being a blogger” on LinkedIn. I found her reply to Phil Friedman's comment relevant to this thread. Different people, different platform, different point views. As one commenter said, and I agree, "Thank God we are not all the same!"👍😊
".....That said, I am pleased to see you emphasize that narcissism often stands in the way of intellectual exchange. A very ugly phenomenon is emerging on social media these days. It seems we've moved on from bad-mouthing the trolls (people who rudely attack authors ad hominem) to criticizing even those who politely question or disagree an author's ideas or statements. This appears due to the author's feeling any such disagreement reflects bads on the author. Which seems to me a paradigm case of narcissism."
"Wow, Phil, thank you!
As you said, we spoke a lot and I am not sure if I ever told you: You're one of the best I know at handling difficult feedback.
You listen, you reflect and if you decide someone has a point you make changes. That takes a lot of self-confidence, respect for other's opinions and an open mind.
I've seen that phenomenon too that you are talking about. Even when feedback is neither personal nor condescending, people can be quick to dismiss it.
Some even resort to name-calling. We often call people "bully", "stalker", "troll" these days.
And we call ourselves "ninja", "entrepreneur" and "leader" and are really flabbergasted when someone finds a factual error in one of our revelations.
I think the most common reason for people to reject all critical comments is that they feel insecure and perceive the feedback more personal or more discrediting than it's meant.
And that might leave us baffled, especially when we were trying to help someone and had no intention to hurt them."

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Lisa Vanderburg 8/9/2017 · #159

#156 Dang...ain't using them then. Rather fancy Promessa but decided to donate me body to science. Good thing the resplendent Dr. Herr Spreademout (can't recall his name, but he did these magnificent poised-body plasticity-types things with real cadavers)...anyhoo, he's a bouncy-ball now; has passed. Just as well - my kids would hate the idea of me poised in the buff! :)

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Lisa Vanderburg 8/9/2017 · #158

#157 Dunno @Harvey Lloyd...I did the freebie; 'openness to experience' and 'agreeableness' were my highest scores. That said, our lives have been overtaken by the dastardly usurper, Parkinson's, so my life is no longer my own. Not a quantitative factor, care-giving :)

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