The Iceberg of Values
The real value of any social platform is its engagement value. It is the engagement of the readers with the author bees that lead to the development of all engaged parties. One comment that led to the writing of this buzz is a comment that Harvey Lloyd Wrote on one of my recent buzzes. He wrote “It is the surface your layout that I attempt to break the tension. This is so that we may explore the motivation and values that support the surface. It has always been my contention that skills and knowledge are things we can acquire. Values and motivation are things only the individual can build”. It is the motivation that comes from sustainable values that make the difference. When we solidify our values, we get truly motivated from within.
In my response to Harvey I mentioned that he reminds me of icebergs- what we see above the surface is only ten% of goes below the surface. The tension at the surface is because of the forces that interact bellow the surface. In my response to Harvey’s comment I wrote “it is the iceberg of comments”. In fact, so many things we do in life have an iceberg effect- what goes on the surface reflects the hidden powers below the surface that interact to produce the observable behaviors.
Intrinsic motivation is superior to extrinsic motivation and our values are the dynamos that motivate us to do what we do to achieve a purpose. This is a hugely important issue. For example, in storytelling what motivates the hero to act and face difficulties are his values that shape up his emotions and beliefs which in turn lead him/her the way he/she does. If the values are flawed and so shall be the feelings and beliefs. The antagonist is motivated differently from the protagonist because he (the antagonist) has flawed values. If a company advertises a harmful product to make sizeable profits, then it has distortion of its values. What we see above the surface and appears sweet is in fact toxic below the surface. The purpose is making profit is legal, the purpose content and purpose value are distorted. The motivation forces are used for achieving goals. The power of motivation is used to employ wrong actions to achieve what is socially acceptable purpose on the surface, which is making profit.
I used before the litmus paper metaphor to show the relationship between values and all the way up to acting. I reproduce one image of relevance here. Our values affect our beliefs. Our thoughts also affect our beliefs and these in turn affect our attitudes and then actions. Our feelings affect our behaviors. If we consider motivation are a feeling of desire to do something, then we can see that motivation is a kind of feelings that lead us to behave the way we do. This is a complex situation as motivation-desire interact and feedback to each other.
If I wish to redraw the litmus-like image above to include them in an iceberg, then I would draw them like this.
![: pleces of ice found in the |
| under the surface | © coldest parts of the ocean. :
What you can see from ©
i abovels just a tiny part. |
Most of the iceberg is hides;
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ared : 2!
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jo
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ivi FrustratedWhat do you feel?](https://contents.bebee.com/users/id/11870493/article/the-iceberg-of-values/_cfe04c9a-950.webp)
To act and behave in a certain way is what we see on the surface. I think of the AIDA loop (Awareness, Interest, Desire, Action) and the OODA loop (Observe, Orient, Decide, Act) as both loops end with action. That is what we see, but under the iceberg are the interacting factors that shape up our awareness, our feelings of interest and desire that lead us to act the way we act. Should we reconsider them by studying loops as icebergs as well? Where are our values and motivations that affect what we observe, and orient to? Your feedback shall be greatly appreciated.
It was a great comment from Fatima Williams that led me to realize the need to connect love to these loops. I deeply moved by Fatima’s great inspiration.
Life is as complex as an iceberg. What emerges on the surface is the resultant of the interacting forces below. To change what we see on the surface we need first to change the interacting factors below the surface. We need our values, our beliefs, our thoughts and our feelings to be healthy so that what appears on the surface is worthy.
Harvey Lloyd contributed a great comment and added the next graph to include the disappointment scale with this clarification (as quoted by an e-mail which he sent for me).
Harvey wrote "The water line separates what we see with values and beliefs below. But the above water aspects should be an accurate representative of those below the water. The disappointment scale is what happens after the thoughts or feelings are expressed in public. Giving rise to scenario A whereby we enter back into our feelings or scenario B we search our values to test the response before we develop the feeling or thought given by initial disappointment.
I felt the iceberg does not exist in singleness but is always within a group of icebergs. Disappointment is something we cant have without reflection from others or our environment created by others.
Your thoughts here?
![Anger Iceberg
Icebergs are large pieces of
[SX ELE RICE LF AUREL]
This is how anger works.
ocean. What you can see
fren when we are angry,
from the surface can be mis ou MR 30
p [LEER CHEN
leading. Most of the iceberg
is hidden below the water. hidden under the surface.
embarrassed grief
ipl tricked overwhelmed
: frustrated depressed disgusted
distrustful Ey LETT!
attacked f d
guilt ror CHa helpless
RIYA iG
trauma annoyed exhausted
CIETY IL unsure envious
disappointed lonely offended
uncomfortable
regret
insecure
worried
hurt
The Gottman Institute](https://contents.bebee.com/users/id/11870493/article/the-iceberg-of-values/_fb9a596e-950.webp)
Mt thoughts are that we may bifurcate into different paths after disappointment (paths A and B) as suggested by Harvey. I am sure the reader will have his mind and experience on this. How did you feel after being disappointed? What was your reaction? This is something of interest for all of us.
Second addition- I googled the iceberg of emotions and feelings. I found a very interesting graph. Disappointment is placed below the surface of the iceberg. I added an arrow to disappointment to highlight its position. Do you agree, or should disappointment be placed above the surface as is shown by the image contributed by Harvey Lloyd?
The great comments of Harvey Lloyd send my mind back to my own writing. That feeling disappointed would send us to A or B is somewhat projected graphically in my slideshare presentation titled "Iceberg of the Opposites" and Slide 5 in particular:
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Harvey Lloyd
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التعليقات
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #44
Thank you for accepting the invitation Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. You point to a very interesting point "My thoughts are what we see above the surface is just an example of what is underneath". May be yes, but on a much smaller scale. For example disappointment builds up till it reaches anger on the surface. The intensity is different, but surely it all started with a bad feeling. What we see above the surface is only 10% below the surface. When you write a buzz you do so much work and read, draw notes. What we see is your effort- the buzz, but we don't see the effort you put in writing the buzz. May be you wrote more than one draft. That we don't see. We don't see how you reacted when you were looking for the right term to describe something and the trouble that goes in this process. Yes, what we see is the fruit, but the roots that produced the fruits are underground.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #43
Which comes first values or beliefs? That is a question and big one too my friend Edward. If our values are distorted would we trust honest people? Would we trust anybody who behaves trustfully? If I have a belief that all Arabs are bad then my values would be shaken if I value humans are their rights to have equal opportunities. Beliefs may not stem out of facts. That is why I tend to give values priority. As for your other point on detachment and intention- you have a solid point. I am looking at how most people act- do they to expect more than to intend. Rarely I heard a person saying I intend to. More often I hear people say now that we provided you with so and so we expect you to excel. I look for kids who are so attached their parents and how they change when have the opportunity to detach. Some attachments are artificial because of the need for support and mainly financial support. As these kids grow up and detach physically for different reasons they tend to grow the way they want to. Sometimes very strong attachment preclude movement and confine a person to a limited space. You keep me thinking my friend.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #42
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #41
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #40
I concur and agree with you entirely Harvey Lloyd. The iceberg for me is a visual presentation of bed feelings such as disappointment. The questions you suggest are great. Question 2 "What values are the others leveraging within the disappointment"? is crucial because we need to turn such feelings to build moving forward power. As in all cases in life we need to ask the right questions to arrive at the right action. That is why I stressed in my previous comment the need to share our experiences in how we turned disappointment into an asset rather than a liability.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #39
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee within any leadership setting we will experience deviation from our intended course, disappointment. My thoughts are that we shoudl anticipate these and use some of the ideas of the iceberg cycle described above. I have sat in many meetings where disappointment got dumped into feelings and behaviors moved a meeting in to a dodo sling fest. Sad. SO the effort on my part and i believe was to hand out a bit of a cheat card in these settings. Does the disappointment infringe on my values sets? What values are the others leveraging within the disappointment? Given the goals and my beliefs how can we both retain our values and move forward? Questions like these insure that we engage our beliefs in values within high emotion.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #38
This is a great thinking because you reason disappointment to learn from it and make better expectations next time. If we do that we turn disappointment into an opportunity to improve and advance.
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #37
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #36
Great and straight comment that speaks to my heart . You discussed disappointment with self; but how about disappointment resulting from others? You expect one of your employees to perform very well, but falls well below the expectation line? Wouldn't you feel disappointed? May be it is self-inflicted disappointment because you expected more than you should have. Or, disappointment with the employee because he performed below his ability. Are both scenarios similar?
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #35
Disappointments IMHO mostly pull down confidence or send one into deep solitude of thoughts but has never aroused anger in my case! Anger is mostly caused due to conflict of common interests or opinions/beliefs.This may be because I was taught that it is carelessness or not well-thought actions that resulted in failures which in turn resulted in disappointments. I'm thinking in my humble opinion what freezes and solidifies my values are two things - WPD Love ( P can stand for passion and purpose)and our beliefs. If we have the wrong beliefs filled with disappointments then we are forming a toxic iceberg but if the same is frozen with values, love laden and purpose driving beliefs then it's good for the environment! To each one different factor and forces results in different ways!
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #34
Your comment Harvey Lloyd to comment on your comment because of the two two gentlemen are involved in your comment. I wish again if we would share few of the disappointments and how we reacted to them. Did they develop into anger? Where they the cold wind that frozen our values and solidified them? Many ideas cross the mind.
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #33
We become "denser" when we think! Hmmm, great thinking here and such a power-packed buzz. Ali Anani and Harvey have got all of us thinking. Deep thoughts here... The iceberg is a perfect way to explain the forces and factors that influence a being and its state. How do we solidify our values? Google says Values are "principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life." I think Love solidifies our values especially when it is attached with purpose. because love can break beliefs and negative feelings. well there's alot to think about. But we must all agree as Harvey says, disappointments are where our values get tested or behaviours are expressed.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #32
Thank you Preston \ud83d\udc1d Vander Ven. Bellieve me the more I go in depth, I shallower I feel I am for I know more how less I got to know.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #31
Thank you for your wonderful comment Bill King. Your scientific analogy is great. My answer to your question "As I am typing this I can't help but wonder, Is this difference, the increase, in density of beliefs and value what helps to make a great leader? Raising the waterline so less is visible"/ is yes. We become "denser" when we think. Do we behave like water? Well,our bodies are 60-80% water and so may be that is the case. When we get chilled by fear and cold do we become denser and wiser? Oh- now I have to think more.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #30
More for me dear Debasish Majumder are the comments that are packed with new possibilities. I thank you for all your consistent support
Debasish Majumder
منذ 6 سنوات #29
Pascal Derrien
منذ 6 سنوات #28
Follow the exit sign if you can ;-)
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #27
Perfectly correct
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #26
Disappointment, which has many other terms that can describe the situation we can find ourselves, is similar to two people throwing a baseball. Each person has the ability to change the trajectory, speed and pace at which the ball travels between each other. Disappointment is merely a different pitch within the game of business and most importantly, diversity. How we catch disappointment will determine our next pitch within the scenario. If the goal is success then our pitch will be appropriate, if our goal changes to reflect the previous catch then we are now in chaos theory.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #25
I forgot to add the link to the LI discussion in my comment. Here it is for those readers who may be interested: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/4972340/4972340-5921901595884290048
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #24
Great and in my previous comment I mentioned that when our expectations fall below the line that we may follow different paths. Yes, it is complexity arising from the interactions of what seems simple feelings, but they compound to something we never expected.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #23
#23 I have just re-edited the buzz again by adding an image to show that when we have feelings and the bifurcation of paths these feelings make lead us to. So, as you see, you remind me of my own work. One example is reading your thoughtful line Harvey Lloyd "This is near universal. A leader who stands on honor in one setting and then releases the honor for profits in the next. In long meeting i have seen this take place and watched the attendees somewhat gasp at the duplicity of the leader". You reminded me of a slideshare presentation that I wrote a while ago titled "Businesses Living Double Standard Values" https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/businesses-living-double-value-lives I extend the same to leaders for what applies to businesses extends to us. You are very correct and this issue deserves far greater attention. LI started a healthy discussion on this presentation and the comments are in line with what you say here my friend. Coming back to your initial comment on disappointment and how it could lead us into scenario A or B is again a worthy issue that deems further exploration. You reminded me again of my presentation "Below the Expectation Line" https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/bel-46134924 When our expectations are not met we feel disappointed. I see eye to eye with you and the presentation justifies my claim.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #22
Pascal Derrien In many contextual circumstances i agree with the very flippant nature of "perception is reality" I have seen this phrase used as an faitacompli statement to head off real debate. I don't like to use the statement out loud but is a burning question when preparing introduction of new thoughts or topics. When folks perceive the world as flat and now through analysis we can see that it is round. How do we change that perception without invoking shattered paradigms. Its merely a prerequisite question to altering the perception of an entrenched habit after your own perception has been changed. Here in the airplane over New York we have had to change our perception that we can exist within this paradigm through means of Skype, email and protein snacks. A break through perception is that we may have the opportunity within our time machine to exit before we got on the plane:)
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #21
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #20
I deeply appreciate your comment and thoughtful sharing of the buzz Savvy Raj. Thank You
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #19
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #18
The quality of icebergs and seldom an iceberg to be present alone. How do you tell the quality of an iceberg? Great point for discussion by Pascal Derrien
Pascal Derrien
منذ 6 سنوات #17
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #16
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #15
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #14
Thank you for your splendid clarification and comment Harvey Lloyd. Tension is dynamic because it has the continuing struggle between two different feelings, values, emotions or whatever. Your writing "Most likely we have bumped into two sets of values that are different". They are values in conflict and the shift between disappointment and hope is continuing and varies with time and so it is dynamic. I am so glad that you highlighted this point< Equally important is your observation "No idea evolves without disappointment". We need to remember this fact and remind ourselves that there is no hope and no success without disappointment. Great comment and inspiration as always. I am hopeful.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #13
Cyndi wilkins
منذ 6 سنوات #12
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #11
Dearest - you have been overly kind to me today. You published a buzz on LI and you dedicated it for me. https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6373965064780730368/ANd what a great post it is with its great meanings. This comment shows your hugely impressive character and what a beloved person you are! If words could talk then they would be able to express my gratitude to you.
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #10
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #9
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #8
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #7
You captured a hugely important point Susan \ud83d\udc1d Botello in that motivation and passion towards something are interconnected. You are spot on and as wonderful as I hope your wonderful week shall be.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #6
A comment that drives my mind and rotates it deserves more than just a response. It deserves a dedicated buzz. Your comment Nandita De is one of those valuable comments. I shall write a buzz on it. You bring a hugely-relevant point is "what cracks the surface" and what happens afterwards. You open many possibilities in my mind. I shall share them soon with the readers with due acknowledgement to you. This is the type of engaging comments that really enrich the reader and writers. With comments like this I have no worries of any contaminant that I would encounter. It is all purity of the "thinking waters".
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #5
With all eagerness I await your detailed comment Harvey Lloyd, mainly to explore the iceberg of "what is visible should reveal that which is not".
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #4
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #3
You wrote a challenging comment dear Debasish Majumder in which he wrote "Values and motivation are things only the individual can build:. There are external motivators, but the real one are the internal ones which motivate us to realize our values. I wonder what Harvey would say! Thank you my friend for sharing the buzz and for starting the discussion with a truly provocative comment.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #2
Debasish Majumder
منذ 6 سنوات #1