To be right you have to have someone to say you are wrong

To be right you have to have someone to say you are wrong

If you wait to write a buzz that everybody would agree with you then you shall never write one. However; not all differing comments shall be of the same level or category. Some comments will invoke new ideas, expand on the original idea, offer new direction and possibilities and correct the author. Other comments are only like stains on a wedding grown- they make the bride (author) feel infuriated, embarrassed and shall only distract the readers from the focal points of discussions. These comments are also like walking in a garden of flowers that nourish us with its fragrance till and all of a sudden a pungent odor overwhelms the fragrance and all attention focuses now on escaping from this odor.

This issue isn't limited only to comments as much as it pertains to all negative actions as well. Do we run away from them? Or, is it better to confront them? Or, is it best to remove these stains as we remove stains of lipstick on a bride's gown? Or, is it better to "dilute" these stains? These questions are extensible to many real situations in life and answering them would be of help to all of us.

I need first to reemphasize that we need comments that are in disapproval of our own. ! According to Eckhart Tolle: "...for you to be right...you need someone else to be wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are".

My use of the word stains reminds me of stains on clothes. Not all stains are the same. It is central to ascertain what they consist of. Is it a wine spill, chocolate, blood or lipstick? Oily stains don't dissolve in water and using "watery words" to remove oily comments will make the stains worse. In these cases it is hugely important to know what not to do before knowing what to do. The last thing you want is to spread the oil. You need an oily detergent to remove the sticky oily stains. ! When you publish make sure you have a "buzz detergent" to remove dirty comments that spoils the "buzz pride (bride). The pride of the bride is in having a clean gown and free of any on stains on it.

In order to remove oily stains you need a towel to move the stain towards it. After you apply a drop of the detergent to the stain you need to move a damp towel in an upward and downward motion and away from the stain. This is to prevent the formation of a ring from setting. Your wrong movement to face stained actions may form a "ring" around you. You don't want this to happen.

You know the "fabric" of your buzz or whatever action you do. Like polyester is easy to wash and remove stains. It is better to clean it with hand-washing rather than in the laundry. The solvents used in laundry are not good in removing food stains. If you don't know your fabric then you may fail in washing away the stains from some authors who give you "food for thought" only to find out that others can't remove them for you. You need to do it with your "own hands" sometimes.

Some comments are like a bride wounding her and a drop of blood spilling on her gown. Do you know what is the best way o removing the blood spot? Some people cover the wound by a layer of toothpaste to stop the bleeding. But there is a better way to do this. The optimal way is to apply saliva on it with a dampened tip. The enzymes in the spit will break down the stain and then just to dry it. If you feel "wounded" by an arrogant action then simply "spit" on the wound and leave it to decompose on its own.

Some people are deeply immersed in their negativity such that they lost their sense to smell their produced pungent smells. Even when they walk in a fragrant field of flowers they fail to smell its fragrance. Their avoidance and negligence may be the best way to deal with them.
Ali Anani, PhD


Kamini Vyas 2/1/2018 · #97

#91 I'd go here with what Lisa Mam said. There are all sorts of people around. As a writer, I write to express my feelings or to inspire people keeping in mind that there might be some who would not agree with my thoughts or ideologies. In such case, they'd try to suppress me by their negative comments. I think that is okay; we should be prepared for such things when sharing any buzz. Better not to entertain such cruel and defensive minds and focus on those who support and boost you. I really like the way you used the example of stains to illustrate better sir. @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

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#95 this is exactly my position NOW @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. We are better spend our energies on construtive interactions.

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Ahhh yes. I often just walk away from an angry prick. (oops) Someone who is oily or bloody often has issues of his/her own which attempt to "bleed" over into the lives of others. I have no time to psychoanalyze these ******. I just move on and take an occasional peek backwards.

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#93 I matured more to your comment @Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA. My response to a buzz agsinst me was pairing the negativity with positivity. Therefore I shared the buzz and liked it as well.

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Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA 12/9/2017 · #93

I agree with Lisa Gallagher - our responses to negative comments should depend upon the situation. To that I'll add and what we say. Unfortunately carrying on and trying to defend yourself usually doesn't work to your advantage.

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#91 As much as I agree with you @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher I am glad that I did. This experience uncovered the great passion of other bees to stand against ill-behaviors. Besides, it lead me to write my last three buzzes that attracted more than 300 comments. I wrote a presentation on Stupidity Spawns Creativity and this was the case. However; I don't belive I would do the same again and just ignore and keep on my way should this happen again.

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Lisa Gallagher 12/9/2017 · #91

#90 First, Im sorry that happened. It has happened to me before and I responded politely because I was bewildered. I then became defensive and that just causes more internal frustration. Ive learened that some people enjoy picking others apart, does it make them feel superior, I dont know. I try my best to ignore people who are intentionality cruel now. They are not worth your precious time, not deserving of a response. No response in cases like that are best.

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#89 Exclusion is better than feeling inside as a sheep. If we don't stand by our believes we become sheep and cheap. I agree all the way with you @Lisa 🐝 Gallagher. If you know that I read only one of your buzzes and I write a comment stating "Your posts are vacuous and empty of any meaning, what would you do? This is exactly what I experienced and I meant my question to address this issue. To ignore, to respond or what?

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