Bob McIntosh en Career Development, Bloggers 27/9/2016 · 2 min de lectura · 1,4K

Job seekers, surround yourselves with these 5 people

Job seekers, surround yourselves with these 5 people

Increasingly more job seekers are opening up to me saying the hardest part of being unemployed is the emotional drain they feel. Some will tell me they've never felt worse in their life.

Sure, money is an issue, but it's the fear, uncertainty, anger, despair, the whole bundle that affects them the most. There's also the feeling alienation, a need for support.

I was out of work 12 years ago and found there were people with whom I should have surrounded myself. The people I found helpful made my job search bearable. They helped me deal with the highs and lows of the job search.

Here are five people you should have on your side.

Positive people

You know the type I'm referring to. They wear a smile on their face most of the time, and they speak positively about people and situations. They're not downers, and they won't let you dwell on your problems.

People like this exude positivism that's contagious. They make it possible for you to forget your negative thoughts for a moment. That moment can be enough for you to realize that your unemployment will be temporary.

Unemployment can wear on relationships, particularly between your spouse. It is natural for your spouse to also feel the effects of your unemployment. So you will want to seek people who can provide you with the positivism you need.

People who give great advice

For free professional career advice your best bet is your nearest One-Stop career center or your alumni career center; although not all universities provide this service. There are public career centers throughout the US, and they are free.

Workshop facilitators and career advisors can provide the most up to date job-search advice. They are empathetic to your needs. However, they will not let you dwell on your situation.

Another option is networking groups in your area. The area in which I live offers networking groups that meet every day of the week. It's important that you find people who are knowledgeable about the job search.

People who believe in you

Job seekers, surround yourselves with these 5 people

At this point, you might feel that no one believes in you. This isn't the case. You can't discount family members, friends, neighbors, former colleagues, past bosses, etc.

These are people who will assure you with words as simple as, "You can do it, Bob." or "I have faith in you." or "You'll turn the corner." And you can tell by their tone if they're sincere. I, for one, can't lie to save my life; so when I say these words, I mean them.

The ultimate sign of people believing in you is when they are willing to deliver your résumé to someone in a company, or agreeing to be a reference, or going to a hiring manager and recommending you for a job.

 Non-judgmental people

Non-judgmental people will not put you down because of your situation. If you were laid off due to your previous company's poor performance, they will not insinuate that you could have prevented being laid off.

If you were let go, they won't blame you when it was a conflict of personality between you and your manager. I tell my job seekers that there are bad bosses who have an agenda, and no matter how hard my job seekers try, they can't make it right.

Non-judgmental people don't throw stones in glass houses, as the saying goes. They are empathetic because they've made mistakes of their own. To me, they demonstrate emotional intelligence and can be a great source of comfort.

People who want to have fun

One way to take your mind off your problems is by enjoying a laugh or two with friends or relatives. I'm sure you've been among friends who were recalling hilarious memories that had you in stitches.

When the laughter ceased and you were brought back to the fact you were unemployed they took notice and gave you a punch in the arm. They told you to snap out of it, so you did. Your friends wouldn't allow you to dwell on what you couldn't change at that moment.

You must remember that there are people like your friends or family who are counting on you to be the same ole Bob. Don't drag them down with you. Sure they will offer a shoulder to cry on, but only for so long. They believe in you, are confident that you'll bounce back, and instill positivism in you.

If you're lucky in the bad times unemployment, you'll have a few people who have one or more traits explained above. They'll keep you positive, give you sound advice, believe in you, won't judge you, and will keep moments light.

But most importantly, they'll be confident that you'll land your next job. I am confident that if you conduct a proper job search, you'll land quickly. I tell my job seekers this and far more times I am right than wrong.

Photo: Flickr, Chris "Paco" Camino

Lisa Gallagher 6/3/2017 · #7

The types of people listed above, I surround myself with. When I was younger I allowed people to walk all over me because I was afraid to stand up for myself and others. I'm glad maturation and time fixed that! Welcome to beBee @Bob McIntosh!


I like positive people around me all the time.There is no room in my life for negative and disrespectful people. This is a very timely and well-written post. Welcome to beBee, @Bob McIntosh.

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Renée 🐝 Cormier 1/3/2017 · #5

Those are the kind of people you should surround yourself with no matter what, in my opinion. I've come to the point in my life where I can no longer tolerate negative, depressing, unsupportive people around me, so I have systematically eliminated them from my life. Thanks for this post. I enjoyed reading it.

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Wayne Yoshida 1/3/2017 · #4

PS - Thank you @John White, MBA for boinking and sharing this post by Bob McIntosh. I missed it the first time around, and it is timeless advice.

Robert Cormack 1/3/2017 · #3

I agree, @Bob McIntosh, it's easy to slip into negativity if it's all around you. I visited a friend who's establishing a B&B in a small town. Everywhere was hustle and bustle, yet I found out she'd had a tough year. Despite that, she up, confident, making lots of plans. It's always heartening when you see that. I've always said, it isn't about brains or connections or luck. More than anything, it's resilience.

Wayne Yoshida 1/3/2017 · #2

Excellent post and good to see you here, @Bob McIntosh . When I went through "job transition" I tried to keep away from all the negative and bitter people I stated to meet. Negativity is so contagious, it only takes one person to kill an entire day or week or month. By avoiding those people and finding better people to hang around with - made the days and weeks much more productive.