Brian McKenzie in Directors and Executives, beBee in English, HR Manager SVP Patient Integration • MEDx Ehealth Jul 28, 2016 · 4 min read · +900

PoP Tart Recruiting

We live in a fast pace go-go-go world, you are always on the run and onto the next hectic event. Even when we 'relax', we seem to be prepared to only give 6 seconds of attention – and endure minimal effort to get to that event. And so today, I have come to talk to you about Breakfast and the Pop-Tart.

PoP Tart Recruiting

Few of us have time for a true homemade breakfast – most of us are using the drive through lane as our primary source of food – the kitchen is foreign to most of us beyond the microwave, toaster and icebox. You are hungry, in a hurry and need to leave NOW – in comes the PopTart. For true lazy eating – you can eat them cold, right out of the package – ZERO preptime. Or if you have more patience you can *ZAP* them in the microwave for 3 seconds.... and if you are nearly infinitely patient, you can suffer through the 'toast' cycle on the chrome box heater unit on your counter; for approximately a MINUTE!

PoP Tart Recruiting

What relevance does the PopTart have to business? The typical HR feeder mechanism is nearly the same exercise as your 'instant breakfast'. Instead of seeking a 'meal' – you are on the hunt for a 'candidate' for your vacancy. And the industry average of scan for a resume is 6 seconds. You spend more time waiting for a Pop-Tart than you do attention to someone that you are bringing into your company. And why not, you are BUSY, and there are 100 other PopTarts that want to be crammed in your hole – so what does it really matter?!!?!

When you look at today's American Society, you will notice two things quickly – the majority of people are obese (either grossly, clinically, or morbidly) and less than 20% are 'engaged' with their jobs. It is the Pop Tart culture that has maxed out your waist-line and has made your employees feel as disposable as a breakfast pastry.

There is a better way, but it takes time, dedication, and effort – and damn longer than  seconds.

To HOME Make Breakfast Pastries from scratch – Here is my recipe.

Get your Kitchenette Food Processor and clean an area on your counter – this is about to get fun.

You will need for the dough:

2 cups flour

1 tsp pumpkin spice

1 tsp brown sugar for sweet – or 1 tsp cayenne for the hot

1 cup unsalted butter cut into 1/2-inch cubes

5 Tbsp ice water

Put all the dry ingredients in a large bowl, cram it under your mixer and pulse the butter and flour into submission – add the water bit by bit, until you have a nice clumpy texture that has passed all stages of dry separate ingredients. Pull the dough out, roll it across a floured counter top, kneed it a few turns, and then flatten it into a pressed disk about the size of a dinner plate (You should get two of these from these portions). Wrap that in plastic and put in the fridge for an hour.

Have a latte – go binge watch some YouTube Talk Abouts – I like TedX during my wait times. Learn something new.

PoP Tart Recruiting

After the dough has 'set', you will roll it out flat to about the thickness of a pie crust and cut it into the toaster Pop Tart shape if you wish. * You can get inventive here – and cut them into any shape you like with your host of cookie cutters – just remember that a bigger size is better for the filling. Pumpkin shapes work great – Stars & Candy Canes not so much. Place the shapes on a cookie sheet that is lined with parchment paper. At this point you can top the 'Tarts' with your favorite jam or preserve for the fruit filling. I like to skip the sweet and fill mine with a thin layer of mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, bacon and cheese. - My kitchen, My fillings ;) * Note – if you are using this chunkier eggy filling – your top shape will need to be a bit bigger to give you a 'pocket' look rather than a flat tart. Eye ball it- just keep the good stuff from oozing out the sides.

Next match the 'top' shape to the one on the sheet, cover the filling, press and crimp the edges with a fork. Poke some holes in the face to let the fillings 'breathe' when they are cooked..... And into the freezer – yep, let them get frosty – for at least 3 hours. Go chase a new Pokemon Go character – enjoy some exercise.

PoP Tart Recruiting

The frozen treats will go into the pre-heated oven at 375 for 15 to 20 minutes – or until golden brown – your oven may vary, so watch them as the bake.... yes, more attention. When they are done – let them cool – do not attempt to eat them right out of the oven – you will burn a layer of skin off the roof of your mouth.

If you are going for the sweet – here is the time to add the frosted glazed icing that is so iconic.

For the frosting, you will need:

1 cup powdered sugar

2 Tbsp half and half

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

Put the sugar and vanilla in a bowl and whisk in the half and half – you may need to add a bit and smidge more to get the right 'frosting' consistency – so eye it as you go – but you want a smooth, non-lumpy glazing. Spoon over the top of the cooling tarts – and add the sprinkles and sparkles if you like.

For my eggy version – I just top with a thick salsa – I am not walking with it – I am going to sit and enjoy another espresso.

So – you can keep cramming pre-packaged, pre-formed 'instant' slices into your hole that you ferreted out with a 6 second attention span; or you can take the time to discover the difference real ingredients, attention and talent makes.

                                                               I don't like box solutions - I never have.  

                                                  I am not your 6 second shill.  I am not your Pop-Tart widget.

PoP Tart Recruiting

If you need out of the box solutions for security, logistics, military intelligence, sales, content writing, medical insurance or cooking - contact me.  You will never find me in your ATS funnel - I guarantee it. 

PoP Tart Recruiting

Brian McKenzie Jul 29, 2016 · #10

#9 There is no 'pooping' on the Poop deck - its from French meaning the raised aft portion of the ship - usually the places where you watch the Helos come in - and not to be confused with the Fan Tail. At Navy boot camp - they make you learn all sorts of shipboard vocab and nautical trivia. 30 years later .... the damn walls are still bulkheads, the floor is the deck, doors are portals, and the toilet is the 'head'.

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Randy Keho Jul 29, 2016 · #9

#8 I love it. Adds further meaning to the" poop" deck.

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Brian McKenzie Jul 29, 2016 · #8

#5 @Randy Keho Whiskey and Coffee - The breakfast of ..... well not maybe champions - but definitely old Salty Senior Chiefs that are not amused by the brass and their shenanigans. *Thanks gramps! He would make perk coffee with a shot of whiskey, a few jigs of Tabasco and an egg for his morning cup..... he got me hooked on it at age 5. After I learned to make it - he always called me 'Swabby' when he was ready for the next cup.

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Brian McKenzie Jul 29, 2016 · #7

#4 @Graham Edwards Thanks for reading - glad you enjoyed it. If I had a quarter for every applicant that corporate HR only looked at for 6 seconds.... and a dime for everyone that never made it to the other side of their Black Hole of Suck (The ATS) - I could retire. I might even make a few top 10 lists of filthy rich.

Brian McKenzie Jul 29, 2016 · #6

#3 @Kevin Pashuk Thanks for reading - I hadn't even noticed... you are right - I suppose the appropriately branded iconography is Drive-Thru - I am showing my age - I remember when you had to walk into the restaurant get 'fast food'. My cousin worked at the first window in town at the Wendy's - oddly many seems impressed by the position at the time.

Randy Keho Jul 29, 2016 · #5

Before I exited corporate America, my breakfast Monday through Thursday was an out-of-the-package pop tart and coffee, lunch was a Snicker's bar and soft drink, dinner was a Big Mac and fries. Friday was identical, except for dinner, which was a fish fry chased by a few Jameson Irish Whiskys and Coke. Our HR department had a similar diet. In light of your buzz, that explains a lot.

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Graham🐝 Edwards Jul 28, 2016 · #4

Oh I really like this @Brian McKenzie. I was talking to someone recently who said they knew a mutual acquaintance who needed to hire but just could find good people. I was quick to say that there are many good people out there... her issue was she didn't want to (or didn't know how to) develop people, lead people, mentor people, give time to people and invest in her people.... she wanted a pop tart... right out of the box. I will send you a quarter every time I use the term. Thx

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Kevin Pashuk Jul 28, 2016 · #3

I enjoyed tbis post @Brian McKenzie... as someo e who also prefers the non- instant options. I couldn't hell but notice you spelled out 'drive through' It seems that those in a hurry even shorten that phrase to 'drive thru'.

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