Remote Workers: UnTIE !
The current world crisis has seen the rise of telecommuting and remote working.
Welcome to the show - I have been living this life & working this path most of my life.
Let me show you the benefits of being at home, being productive, kicking ass.
1) Ditch the Cafe / Cafeteria / Carry Out
You can have whatever you want - cook it how you wish - and have it when you want ! You are not tied down to a firm grazing time between 12 - 1. You are free to eat lunch at 3pm if you wish: it is your time, your schedule. Pizza for breakfast ? Damn Right.
* Say hello to Pantzarroni - the trend of eating pepperoni pizza without your pants
2) Ditch the Pants !
Don't kid yourself - you know you did. The sales of sweat pants, shorts & yoga leggings have shown that scads of people have gone bottomless during the work at home era.
3) Ditch the Bitch !
Yep - Get rid of the Office Karens in your life ! There are simply none lingering in your den, kitchen, down the hall or hiding in the bathroom. Added bonus - you will also exit the endless gossip and escape the constant impending #MeToo charge. Saying Good Morning to the receptionist has become entirely too fucking dangerous in today's corporate realm.
Hazza to the end of that shit.
*if you are offended - you are indeed a KAREN.
4) End the Worthless meetings !
The marathon meetings that you had to suffer through weekly, monthly, annually about banal numbers, stats, trends, lectures and SJW prattle are all better left out of your life. Don't want to attend the next round of pedantic virtue signaling ? ..... ooops - my Zoom Crashed.
5) Escape the Cube Farm !
You are not a hamster - you were never meant to spend 1/3 of your life in a cube farm maze, walled off only to clock in, work, piss, work more, eat, work still more, piss again and clock out. And admit it - the 'OPEN Workspace' model was just as banal. The only thing worse than being walled into a tiny square is being forced to be 'social' with people in some fake faux collaborative model that is less productive than working alone.
6) The End of Political Correctness
There is simply noone to get offended by what you say, didn't say, how you sit, where you sit, the cologne you may or may not be wearing; whether or not your are festooned with the appropriate glad handing grandstanding ribbon of the month. There are no snowflakes to admonish you with their constant droning about Empathy, Sensitivity, Diversity, Inclusion, Teamwork, We are in this Together BULLSHIT.
7) Ditch the Deductions
If you are an off shore remote worker - consulting for a US company - your paycheck is not hit with the Social Security / Medicare / Medicaid / FICA / SSI / UI / etc deductions. Also you escape many of the IRS taxes. * Consult your tax attorney - really - call them.
So how are you going to Make your money ? Seek. Create. Build. Deploy.