Brian McKenzie in beBee in English, Entrepreneurs, Business SVP Patient Integration • MEDx Ehealth May 23, 2020 · 2 min read · 1.9K

Remote Workers: UnTIE !

The current world crisis has seen the rise of telecommuting and remote working.  

Welcome to the show - I have been living this life & working this path most of my life.  

Let me show you the benefits of being at home, being productive, kicking ass. 

1) Ditch the Cafe / Cafeteria / Carry Out 

You can have whatever you want - cook it how you wish - and have it when you want !  You are not tied down to a firm grazing time between 12 - 1.  You are free to eat lunch at 3pm if you wish: it is your time, your schedule. Pizza for breakfast ?  Damn Right. 

Remote Workers: UnTIE ! * Say hello to Pantzarroni - the trend of eating pepperoni pizza without your pants

2) Ditch the Pants ! 

Don't kid yourself - you know you did.  The sales of sweat pants, shorts & yoga leggings have shown that scads of people have gone bottomless during the work at home era. 

3) Ditch the Bitch ! 

Yep - Get rid of the Office Karens in your life !  There are simply none lingering in your den, kitchen, down the hall or hiding in the bathroom.  Added bonus - you will also exit the endless gossip and escape the constant impending #MeToo charge.  Saying Good Morning  to the receptionist has become entirely too fucking dangerous in today's corporate realm.

Hazza to the end of that shit. 

*if you are offended - you are indeed a KAREN. 

4) End the Worthless meetings ! 

The marathon meetings that you had to suffer through weekly, monthly, annually about banal numbers, stats, trends, lectures and SJW prattle are all better left out of your life.  Don't want to attend the next round of pedantic virtue signaling ? ..... ooops - my Zoom Crashed.  

5) Escape the Cube Farm !

You are not a hamster - you were never meant to spend 1/3 of your life in a cube farm maze, walled off only to clock in, work, piss, work more, eat, work still more, piss again and clock out. And admit it - the 'OPEN Workspace' model was just as banal.  The only thing worse than being walled into a tiny square is being forced to be 'social' with people in some fake faux collaborative model that is less productive than working alone. 

6) The End of Political Correctness

There is simply noone to get offended by what you say, didn't say, how you sit, where you sit, the cologne you may or may not be wearing; whether or not your are festooned with the appropriate glad handing grandstanding ribbon of the month.  There are no snowflakes to admonish you with their constant droning about Empathy, Sensitivity, Diversity, Inclusion, Teamwork, We are in this Together BULLSHIT. 

And Finally

7) Ditch the Deductions

If you are an off shore remote worker -  consulting for a US company - your paycheck is not hit with the Social Security / Medicare / Medicaid / FICA / SSI / UI / etc  deductions.  Also you escape many of the IRS taxes.  * Consult your tax attorney - really - call them. 

So how are you going to Make your money ?  Seek. Create. Build. Deploy.

Some of my personal favs:  When the Side Gig is THE GIG

Brian McKenzie May 28, 2020 · #14

#13 @Greg Rolfe thanks for reading - I haven't figured out what to call ramen noodles without pants - but I am 'working' on it.

+1 +1
Greg Rolfe May 26, 2020 · #13

Thank you Brian! Enjoyed your post very much.

+1 +1
Fay Vietmeier May 25, 2020 · #12

#11 @Brian McKenzie

You are most welcome ;~)

I'm like you ;~)
Blessed to have worked in sales/business development ... which often had me out of the office (my preference)
Management responsibilities had me in the office ... but always looking outside ;~) feeling the sun on my face and the breeze

I was also blessed to have a beautiful dedicated office with large windows ;~)

Chris 🐝 Guest May 25, 2020 · #11

#10 nice piece @brian. My missus says she wishes I could get back to the office even for a day :) Guess she needs time out !

+1 +1
Brian McKenzie May 25, 2020 · #10

Thanks for reading and sharing @Fay Vietmeier @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris @Ken Boddie @AliAnani ! More in the feeder coming
I never did play well in the corporate cube farms. Once I saw OfficeSpace - I had to quit the insurance widget that I was working. I got my Brokers License - and got out on the Road.

+2 +2
Fay Vietmeier May 25, 2020 · #9

#8 @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
... thank you for the expansion Zacharias ...
"Some call it humility, others spiritual maturity and others may even call it being scientific"
I did not consider the "being scientific" but agree ... and can see
... especially for an honest scientist ... how this might be ;~)

+2 +2
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris May 24, 2020 · #8

#7 Some call it humility, others spiritual maturity and others may even call it being scientific 🙂

+2 +2
Fay Vietmeier May 24, 2020 · #7

#6 @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
"someone who admits ignorance"
I'll call that humility and hope to gain their friendship ;~)

+2 +2