Love For People

Buzz Submitted by :  Dr. Ali Anani

Buzz : Love and Lust

Based on a private email exchange, Ali Anani drew from our off-line conversation and expanded his buzz to include a discussion about Love and Lust.  I gave him permission to quote from our off-line email exchange related to this buzz.

In his buzz, Ali Anani drew from our off-line conversation and expanded his buzz to include discussions about love and lust.  I gave him permission to quote from our off-line email exchange related to above buzz.

In my off-line exchange the subject of why we write came up and Ali Anani used what I thought at the time was an interesting phrase "lust for writing".   I found it interesting he used "lust" in that context and I consequently suggested that this "lust for writing" was based primarily on his "love for people" - hence the title of this Paradox Wisdom buzz.

What I liked about Ali Anani's use of the expression "lust for writing" is that the way he used it isn't the norm, it says much about my admiration for him that I saw the positive of his use of the word "lust" in this particular context.  He was neither expressing lust as in "lust for sex" or ego as in "lust for power", but the context was "lust for writing", and I hold high regard for this "lust", because I immediately associated the soil from which this honourable lust is rooted in.

Anyone who is actively engaged in discussions which Ali Anani inspires knows that he is extremely generous in his engagement and respect for commenters.  He constantly affirms and values the thoughts of the people who respond to him.  His responses are indicative of what I refer to as "love for people".  That is what Ali Anani's "lust for writing" is rooted in a sincere, generous and broad "love for people".  It is why also he is open with his thinking and genuinely wants others to benefit from his writings, slideshares and e-books.  He gives, and gives and gives - and the ultimate giver is the one who can authentically described as having a "love for people".  My orientation and compass is far different and yet that diversity is based in a strong mutual respect and even admiration for each other as human beings - even if I am individual.

The other interesting part of our exchange was my observation that I write online through a love for writing but not love for people.  My learning goals and purpose online are vastly different in terms of approach but we do have commonality for expansive thought and a common kinship in the end-point which is learning.  We simply approach it through two different directions.

I would say that I develop a respect for people but I am not anywhere near as generous as Ali Anani is and especially that kind of love for people which involves a sensitivity for listening to the other and to build on their thoughts or at least to give them due regard for contributing.  I wish I could reach that level of what I would describe as professional intimacy.  I am not Ali Anani and nor would I have pretend that I could emulate his style.  We are different people.

It is our differences however that in paradox quality are our commonality.  The meeting point may come from different directions but there is a meeting point.  I would include Sara Jacobovici in that diversity pathway.  She comes in from a different path than both of us but the meeting point of those paths have always generated interesting mix and colour of thoughts.  I would say what makes Sara akin to Ali Anani is that she too has a "Love for People".

If there is a song that reminds me of the way Ali Anani is responsive to people it would be Paul McCartney's "Someone's Knocking On My Door" :

With Ali Anani, the verse "let them in" is very apt.  In my home, neither do I open my own front door or answer a ringing telephone.  That is where the contrast is very different and consequently it represents the greatest source of learning from my interactions with Ali Anani.

The way I look at "Love for People", it is given an opportunity for expression through the way social media has been constructed, yet I am not enamored with social media, preferring to see the media I get involved with as "personal learning media".   That is why I allow for the emergence of my Paradox Pyramid - not because I am fostering a discussion about it, but because it is emergent and individual to me.  It is also why I roll my eyes at the LIKE function that social media engineers build into the social engineering of social.

The way I engage online is an extension of who I am offline.  Private, usually surprisingly alone despite living in a very large family.  While my family serves as a world unto itself, when I go online it is to explore as an individual, rather than share as a tribal member.  I even discontinued social media connections with family members, realizing that social media only extends what is a highly social and always-on grouping.  While they are on major social media sites connected to each other, I slip away over here and find my own space.  Everything in my family is an example of shared resources - a sharing economy created well before there was such a term.

My family also is guarded about letting the outside world in.  Led by strong values and an extraordinary kinship, the family is very wary of outsiders interfering in what is private group. Yet inside the clan it is indeed a great place to be, but within that place is an even more private person, which is me.  The paradox of being closed in order to be open is one of many, as much as how I respond to any particular buzz and how such buzzes inform my "learning hives". 

This particular Paradox Wisdom DOES address "Social" and this part of the Pyramid is currently called "City and Story".  Yet social is neither foundational for me or top tier, the highest of which is "Educational".  Maybe I have managed to carve out a life of splendid isolation but I have adapted to the ways and experiences I gained from what is unique and personal to me.  It would be strange for me to say that I have "Love for People" when the only places I go out is either to my college club or the public library.  I don't even go on the exotic holidays my family go to every year.  So respect for people - yes, but love for people - no.

I have learned a lot for the love for people that people like Ali Anani and Sara Jacobovici demonstrate in how they listen and respond with care and/or depth.  The relationship is reciprocal at the level of thinking and heart, but it is very hard for people to enter my world when that door is one I keep firmly shut, and ironically it is equally hard sometimes for my own family and even despite the high degree of privacy they prefer, they are far social within their footprint.