Cyndi wilkins in Lifestyle, beBee in English, Creative and Media Professionals Sole Proprietor • The Healing Element Massage and Bodywork Jul 11, 2019 · 3 min read · 2.5K

The Architects Of Thought

The Architects Of Thought

"Meaning exists in the gaps between things, not in the things themselves."

Alicia Juarrero

As humans, we tend to define the meaning of our existence by the perceptions of our past, present and future....and all the 'things' we accumulate along the way. When we consistently lay down a framework of thought based on this concept we are attempting to 'fit' our lives into some sort of 'pre-conceived little box' that society has defined as 'the successful life.' Meaning is placed on the accumulation of things rather than the thoughts that create all'things.' The space between thoughts and things is where our personal power lies.

There is no set formula for this life we have created, nor does it come complete with its own step by step instruction manual for optimal performance. Each recipe is unique unto itself, continually changing and adapting to its own 'conditions.' The ingredients for a firm foundation requires a great deal of mental fortitude in addition to the flexibility for adapting to change and adopting new ways of 'being.'

People get stuck in the 'mind-mud' because they have forgotten their own innate abilities to ride the waves of thought and seize the moments when the time is 'ripe' for initiating change. It is a continual practice of evolving our thoughts and seeing 'things' from all angles before determining a given response.

This is evidenced very clearly in the world of medicine where people are 'categorized' by a predetermined set of symptoms rather than an in depth inquiry into the mindset of each individual.


Cynefin, known best for modeling in business, works well here as our minds are fractal in nature. We have the ability to create several different landscapes in an ever changing network of inter-dimensional 'realities.' What plays out before us in physicality is the most dominant 'domain' of thought. When we continually find ourselves in chaos with every emotional charge, an internal investigation is in order. Otherwise, even the slightest tremors of 'seismic activity' will topple us to the ground.

If we consider our minds as the 'clay' and our thoughts the 'sculptors' we can create whatever model we choose...provided we have not experienced some sort of catastrophic neurological event preventing us from doing so.

The mechanism for creating significant changes in the course of our experience is in the personal narrative of each individual. In order to get a correct assessment of the behavioral patterns influencing a particular condition and/or situation, we must first identify the 'mindset' behind its creation so as to intervene appropriately.


How do we create changes in the 'eco-system' of our minds and bodies? By listening intently to the 'stories' we tell ourselves every day. Our mind engages in a constant dialogue as if we were reading from an internal teleprompter. Our daily diet of 'mind chatter' is what feeds our emotions in terms of how and what we react to. How we 'feel' is a result of what we have been mentally ingesting for decades.

We can influence this network of neurons by making shifts of perception in the 'spaces or gaps in between' the disruptions in our lives and in our emotional systems. Once we are triggered by a particular stimuli, we can consciously 'shift' our responses by choosing a healthier course of action.

In other words, in order to move away from chaos we need to 'break the chain of thought' that supports disorder and assign ourselves a more 'stabilizing' pattern of thought in its place to support positive change.


Psychological flexibility is absolutely essential not only for our mental well-being, but also for all biological systems as well. The emotional disruptions brought on by non-acceptance of the ever changing landscape of life brings about more pain and illness than one could ever imagine.

Avoiding and/or suppressing painful emotions, decisions or situations only guarantees intensifying episodes of the mental anguish that eventually transforms itself into physical illness. Many feathers are 'ruffled' at the suggestion that we have more power over our 'maladies' than we choose to believe.

If this all seems like some sort of nonsense or 'pie in the sky' theory, I would like to conclude this article by sharing a personal story with you...It is one of the last conversations I had with a friend just before he passed away....


Jack was a very successful businessman living what others perceived as 'The American Dream.' A beautiful wife, big house, fancy cars and a vacation home in Maui...Sounds so nice right? Not quite...

Jack was miserable. He was drowning in debt...stuck in a loveless marriage and working himself to death to finance the lavish lifestyle he and his wife had grown accustomed to. He even admitted to manipulating people and situations to his advantage to feed his expensive habits...very often on someone else's dime.

When he received a terminal diagnoses of brain cancer he seemed not at all surprised. In fact, he almost welcomed it by saying, "I did this to myself...The cancer came along to show me all the things I had turned 'a blind eye' to."

In the end, he accepted the fate he felt he had created, stating it was the very first time in his life that he had felt true 'freedom.' His only regret was that he hadn't found the courage to 'break away' from his toxic marriage and lifestyle soon enough to save his life...He was forty-two years old...

Cyndi wilkins Jul 18, 2019 · #21

#20 Yes, I saw and responded to your stupendous comment on LI...I would like to highlight this piece specifically...

"Psychological flexibility is something that takes a long time to achieve, and though through various experiences become resilient enough to stretch the bamboo as long as it can. It must be nurtured from a very young age so people are well equipped with what life brings them."

And my subsequent response...

Absolutely agreed...As adults we need to take the time to nurture ourselves by breaking free of our 'false hoods' and recognizing the 'spaces' where things went astray...Every time we wind up in a chaotic state is a 'call to arms' so to speak, from our own beings to return to 'ground zero' ...It is there we can begin the process building anew with the resiliency of bamboo in order to weather any storm life throws at us.

Yes, this will take time...But life offers many opportunities for a 're-boot'...My most profound 'shape shifter' was raising a my daughter. In recognizing the 'spaces' of my own childhood where things went astray, I was able to 'fill in the gaps' by being an emotionally available parent for her. She has been my greatest teacher;-

🐝 Fatima G. Williams Jul 18, 2019 · #20

PS - I've commented on LinkedIn as well

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🐝 Fatima G. Williams Jul 18, 2019 · #19

Lovely trail of thoughts on thoughts Cyndi girl 😊 @Ken Boddie you crack me up 😂😂😂 I feel cracked with my mind chatter sometimes I guess we all have a network of morons somewhere in there LOL 😂 but the good news I have @Cyndi wilkins to give me a knock on my head reminding me to move away from chaos and go on a good brain diet for positive thoughts.

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This is a great buzz to read and ponder on. It deserves the readers' attention

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David Worley Fannie Mae Jul 16, 2019 · #17

Great read! Thank you for sharing!

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Cyndi wilkins Jul 15, 2019 · #16

#15 Thank you @Ian Weinberg...I have missed your presence here in the 'hives'...I hope you have recovered completely from your recent bout with illness. I am always fascinated by the stories of those who have come through what I would equate to an 'NDE' with the most vivid visions and insights into the purpose our existence...With the emerging technology of AI, we had better get a move on in the 'self-awareness' department before we are over run by robots!

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Ian Weinberg Jul 14, 2019 · #15

I guess it’s about creating music from the noise. The critical ingredients are self-awareness and respect for the ‘golden gap’. The golden gap is that space that we create when we get off the ever driving train of life and reflect. Unfortunately we’re living in a time of minimal self-awareness where the masses are reflexly driven in a zombie state until their trains are derailed. Only then and in relatively few, does the light just appear in the cracks. Great post @Cyndi wilkins Inspiring stuff for creating self-awareness and sustenance.

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Cyndi wilkins Jul 14, 2019 · #13

#7 I am very honored by such a high compliment @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...However, the expansion of my thoughts I must credit to you... It is an amazing gift to be able to converse with and be inspired by such extraordinary group of professionals on a regular basis, who continually engage with and support authors of ALL skill levels...I truly believe it is the 'secret ingredient' to the success of this platform.

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