Cyndi wilkins in Lifestyle, beBee in English, Creative and Media Professionals Sole Proprietor • The Healing Element Massage and Bodywork Aug 2, 2019 · 3 min read · 3.6K

The Space Between

The Space Between

In several of my recent posts, I refer frequently to the 'space between'  our thoughts and 'things' and our subsequent reactions to these things. The question here is how do these internal spaces interact with and influence the outer spaces of our lives? The answer lies within the intentions behind our thoughts...How we direct our internal thoughts translates to what plays out before us externally...This is how we serve as portals for change. 

This magical space is where we get to play director and 'take a knee' to contemplate our choices. The act of taking pause moves us immediately from a 'reactive state' governed by the chaotic unconscious, to that of an 'active state' of conscious choice. In other words, do we wish to create consciously or unconsciously the outcome of our circumstances?

 In order to create consciously, we need to first be aware of the aspect of our personality being triggered by some 'thing'. I find the best results emerge from sharing stories with simplicity, so I would like to share an example of this process that I experienced while reading a wonderful buzz entitled  Three Balloons, written by  @Pascal Derrien. It is a wonderful example of how storytelling serves to create portals of change for you...The reader;-)

Pascal is a masterful wordsmith, weaving an interesting tale of three balloons, (of which he refers to as 'siblings') on a freedom flight as they rise above the surface of the earth. Ironically, one of the balloon siblings becomes entangled in electrical wires as the other two watch helplessly from above. And sure enough, another becomes entangled as well. The surviving sibling continues to rise ever higher, powerless to save his brother and sister. 

Distraught by the loss of his siblings, he strains to hear the last message being delivered by his dying sister..."Promise me you will never stop starting."

After reading this piece for the first time, I had a strange feeling of 'distress'...Initially, I thought it just a 'reaction' to the balloon siblings loss...However, shortly thereafter the meaning came bubbling to the surface like gangbusters from much deeper within the familial well. What happened next was such a profound moment of change for me in my relationship with my younger brother that I felt compelled to share with Pascal just how powerful an impact his story had on me.

Dear Pascal,

After reading this piece for the first time I found myself feeling exasperated by the 'balloon sibs caught on a wire'...Shortly thereafter, I got a text message from my younger brother telling me he had just been fired from his job. My first reaction to this was surprise as he and I rarely speak...I am not tolerant of his mood swings and despicable behavior when he is angry, so I have all but shut him out of my life...I had warned him repeatedly over the years that his brutal behavior would one day cost him something he this case his job.

Initially, I wanted to send him back a big " I TOLD YOU SO!"  But instead, for some reason I went back to your post, (took a knee here) and read it again, this time while listening to the music embedded at the end of your article. Then something magical happened...For the first time in years my heart felt for him...I realized he didn't need my judgement now...He knew what he had done wrong and even admitted it to me in his message...He told me I was right and he wished he had listened...This was my opportunity to change my bitter relationship with him as he was reaching out to me.

The messages I sent back were full of encouragement and uplifting thoughts...(These feelings were evoked while I was listening to the music in your post) and I was able to have compassion for his loss, as he has suffered many as a result of his behavior in relationships...especially towards women. Now he was turning to me, a woman he has had a rocky relationship with for years...In my last comment to him I said, "Never stop being willing to start over."

Thank you Pascal..

for the perfect message wrapped in a beautiful musical package;-)

This story provides the perfect example of how we can create change in the outer landscape of our lives by being 'aware' in the moments we are triggered that we have a choice.  My initial reaction to Pascals story was one of distress for a sibling that seemed to 'float away' on his own path to self-destruction. 

In taking pause with my response and meditating on my direction, (in this case, taking another look at Pascals story and changing its impact by incorporating the musical accompaniment he so graciously embedded in its content), I was able to shift my mood from one of remorse to that of revelation in terms of changing the direction of my thoughts and rewrite my way to a new relationship with my younger brother by consciously choosing to encourage him rather than condemn him.

The most crucial element in every decision we make is the question we should all be asking ourselves before we engage in any interaction...Do we want to continue on the path of recycling the same energy in relation to whatever it is we are facing, or do we want to create new opportunities by always being willing to start over?  You get to decide;-)

Fay Vietmeier Feb 27, 2020 · #34

#33 @Cyndi wilkins
That is a hard truth ... in our humanness the tenancy is to "only do good to those who do good to you" or approve you
(what's not to love?)

To love what is unlovely seems a supernatural ... even Divine act
The miracle & manifestation of such LOVE that came to mind as I write is that of Jesus Christ as he hung on the cross
"Father forgive them ... they do not know what they are doing" ~ Jesus

I have a hard time with rude drivers and unkind, selfish ... thoughtless people ... have to work through these with grace and remind myself
Whose I am ... who I belong to ;~)

God has His work cut out in me ... but I have learned to be willing and desirous of His work ;~)

@Randall Burns our now quiet "Chef"
I hope you are getting much deserved rest ;~)

I'm going to have a flavor-filled "apple" for lunch ;~)

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Cyndi wilkins Feb 27, 2020 · #33

#32 Yes Dear @Fay Vietmeier...and “Love means loving the unlovable – or it is no virtue at all.”

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Fay Vietmeier Feb 27, 2020 · #32

@Cyndi wilkins
@Randall Burns
(part 2)
In another direction if I were a chef and I attended a culinary school to grow ... even though I was learned & skilled in the kitchen I would have to be open to learning more ... to tasting “apples” ... to recognize a new or perhaps even better way (than our current
Sorry this is probably a tortured analogy but I’m trying to make a point

I probably do have a tendency to wander out of my lane ... even if it’s a gentle “nudge” (as a runner I drifted ;~)

In each person there are unique personalities & character traits ... we all possess biases & have blind spots ... can have stubborn resistance to think or perceive ... differently. This is human
This was where I poured out my heart ... to being open & not missing opportunities to grow

You said a lot here Cyndi ... and said it well:
“We are all free to choose whatever path we see fit in any given circumstance, provided we maintain the awareness of all the 'probable consequences' of our actions and accept that the outcome is of our own doing. That is how we live 'consciously'...

“For when we cease to worship God, we do not worship nothing, we worship anything. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton

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Fay Vietmeier Feb 27, 2020 · #31

#30 @Cyndi wilkins
@Randall Burns
I do thank you Cyndi for your wisdom & good wit ... I would love to be expanding this conversation over a glass of great wine ... and conch salad prepared by our wonderful “Chef” ... and watching the sun set.
Now that might become a “devilish tug of war” ... worst case scenario someone gets thrown in the pool ;~)
From my perspective … “iron sharpens iron” this means good conversion … not assured agreement... This is how we learn ... stretch our thinking ... and grow
Its “OK” to disagree ... just not be “disagreeable” … which will not happen here ... for we are sweet bees ;~)
“Sharing beliefs” is something we all do ... “imposing” them would be WRONG.
Now as I type an example comes to mind:
“A great chef once said”
“The ultimate truth is like the flavor of an apple which you can’t see with the eye or hear with the ear. The only way to experience it is to put the teachings into practice. Once you taste it, you are no longer in any doubt about its flavor and you do not have to ask anyone else. The problem is solved.” ~ Ajahn Chan
I mentioned to Randall that there is a correlation between writing and cooking
There is also a correlation between faith and cooking (which is what the quote by Chan reminded me of)
... I have “tasted” Truth ... and it, like good food nourishes & strengthens ... and it is “sweet like honey”
In recent decades I have experienced spiritual growth by putting those “teachings into practice”
I’m living the flavor of the “apple” ;~)

(part 1)

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Cyndi wilkins Feb 26, 2020 · #30


There are many 'possibilities' to be had in our exploration of all the different aspects of 'self' along our journey to Oneness. Our paths will all be different and will likely lead us to that which we seek to better understand.

We are all free to choose whatever path we see fit in any given circumstance, provided we maintain the awareness of all the 'probable consequences' of our actions and accept that the outcome is of our own doing. That is how we live 'consciously'.

Misunderstandings occur when there is an inability to accept perceptions that differ from our own. When we see reality only from only one side of the fence, there is no other place from which to gain insight from the promptings of others.

We can only do the best we can with what we know...and stay in our own lane....In the end, we answer to ourselves when presented with the results of our choices...We our own judge and jury...How we proceed is entirely up to us.

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Cyndi wilkins Feb 26, 2020 · #29

We do have ourselves in a bit of a 'devilish tug-of-wills' here don't we... Slippery little sucker isn't he @Fay Vietmeier

All kidding aside, I do believe there is no 'One Way' ticket here...No 'my way or the highway to hell'...A little AC/DC reference for you @Randall Burns

The "Fire and Brimstone" I think Randy is referring to here as a consequence of 'flirting with the devil is a 'self-imposed' state of mind.

The interpretations of scripture vary greatly dependent upon the perspective of the reader...So I feel there is a lot of wiggle room here...And everyone feels the need to have their thoughts, feelings and beliefs validated. It is human nature.

So let me begin by sharing my perspective with no intention of imposing my 'beliefs' on anyone...They are quite simply 'my thoughts' on the matter...

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Randall Burns Feb 26, 2020 · #28

#27 Thank You for your response @Fay Vietmeier The only thing that I can say is if that works for you then I am happy for you, truly. But I do not agree with it; just my opinion...

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Fay Vietmeier Feb 26, 2020 · #27

@Randall Burns
(part 3)
I said brevity was a challenge ;~)
I do not like the character restriction @Javier 🐝 CR ;~) ... let a thought be uninterrupted please)

The increase in violence’s around the world is a reflection of our spiritual condition
I wrote about this here: the Fractal State of Humanity ~The hidden forces for you and against you
We are “broken” beings because we are born into a broken sinful world (you did not choose this ... nor did I )

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