My Painful Childhood
I have decided to share this very personal and quite often painful part of my life. My childhood from ages 1to 7 I have no idea about but from 7 yrs old it gets difficult this was when my Father left my Mum out of the blue to deal with me and my younger brother 4 years junior to me, she had no money and had to work several jobs just to put food on the table.
When I went to my secondary high school aged 11 I was put in a remedial class simply because I could not understand what was being taught especially in Maths I had a problem understanding the methods used to solve these mathematical problem's. This may have been the precursor to my Mental Health Issues.
I struggled through the next two years as I was being constantly bullied by a child who at the time I was petrified of he used to steal anything he wanted from me and always threatened me with violence in fact one day he and his friends decided that after school one day they would ambush me and cause me harm , which they did they caught me and I ripped my back open on some barbed wire as I tried to escape,the scars of which I still wear a constant reminder of a very unhappy time.
One day we were in the Library and he locked me in a cupboard for Hours in the end I was so scared I broke the door with kicking it.This came to a head when he for the first time actually hit me in the face , it surprised me as it didn't hurt I then let go of all the anger and frustration his years of bullying had caused me to suffer and physically beat him up not something I am proud of but nonetheless the only language he understood.
I left school with just some GSCE's and the words you will never make anything of your life ringing in my ear. I vowed to never be bullied again or to let anybody else suffer as I did. I started training in Martial Arts , Kyokushinki , Kickboxing, various Kung Full Styles and Tae Kwon Do each art and instructor giving me great advise like a series of Mr Myagi's this gave me more confidence and so lead me to reapply my learning in my 30',s by going to University and getting my first HND and then going on to study many more things.
Those words always spur me on to achieve more and have self belief and now I can say I have become a learned person,author and great teacher / trainer and humble human I still carry the scars as well as my now mental illness but they are not visible to all but are always in the back of my mind.
I never gave up believing that one day I may just have an important role in life and be able to help many people.