Refusing to Look: The One-Way Conversation in Your Head
Your partner, colleague, or friend is communicating their viewpoint about something to you.
If you can completely look at what they’re saying, you’ll be fine.
However, at the exact moment you find yourself resisting what they are saying, you are no longer looking.
You are resisting.
This may take a closer inspection on your part because you might think you are looking at them because your eyeballs are directed at them.
Newsflash...you are not your eyeballs.
Application in Life:
If you place your hand gently on a wall you will feel its surface and texture.
If you press hard against the wall you will get more wall.
More wall is simply the resistance you feel.
When you resist or “push up against” your partner's viewpoint you will get more of their viewpoint you’re resisting inside your bloody head.
You get more wall.
And throughout your day you will find yourself having an internal conversation with their viewpoint like you’re talking to them in real life.
Like your hand pushing up against that dang wall, you will now have the very thing you refused to look at.
“Goddamn Michael...I can’t believe he’s expecting me to…”
Then you go to coffee with a friend and what is it you must tell them?
“I’m so mad. You won’t believe what Michael told me last night…”
You will try to jettison this out of your head by telling someone else.
It won’t jettison.
The source of your ire with what your partner or friend told you is inside you.
And until you are truly willing to look at and confront what they’re saying, you’ll become the very thing you’re resisting.
You’ll become more wall.
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The test I offer is very much the same. It is uncannily accurate in showing your strengths and areas where you’re having difficulties.
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