The Perception of Counter Intention...
A counter intention is an intention counter to your intention.
You want to go to Paris and your husband does not.
You have a great idea for your company’s expansion and your boss doesn’t think so.
You want to have sex with your wife tonight and you can feel that she does not.
These are simple examples and happen every day in the course of living.
But how about when you’re talking with a friend or colleague and everything coming out of their mouth appears to be in lock-step with what you’re saying, but your radar is pinging in the back of your mind something different?
There is an unmistakable undercurrent like a flashing red light that they actually have a counter-intention to yours.
It is the most awkward and eerie thing to encounter especially when they are a close friend or colleague.
Nothing in your education prepared you for this.
All the signs in front of you are a smiling, friendly exchange of communication, yet this primordial memory begins to surface in your mind of a 9-inch blade being surgically inserted between your third vertebrae as they speak.
Did Mrs. Johnson in 7th grade teach you about this?
How about your wise English professor in High School?
You know, “Handling the Covert Friend Before You Go Off to College.”
Because no one taught them.
And sometimes, be honest, did you ever feel you had a teacher anywhere in your education that you would swear had a counter intention to you getting an “A?”
You couldn’t put your finger on it, but damn, you knew...you knew for some crazy-ass reason they had a counter intention to you.
See, when you or I had this perception it was like, “Well, they’re our teacher and…”
Listen. You have telepathy. Yes, yes you do. You can call it what you like. Sixth Sense. Spidey Sense. Intuition. Radar. Give it whatever name you like. But underneath the name is an unmistakable ability to discern that there is an incoming missile despite what your Uncle says as he’s putting his hand on your lap as you share a Christmas toast.
The truth is a counter intention is unnerving.
Because we’ve all been brought up with simple truths that we practice and expect our fellow teammates to do the same.
Nick Was Lying and You Knew It:
When you confronted your boyfriend in high school about him seeing Jacqueline behind your back, he told you unequivocally that was not true.
He looked you in the eye and said it like he had his hand on the Bible.
Did I say unnerving?
Where the Rubber Meets the Road:
So, now, here you have your boyfriend who you love and your radar is pinging. And this is not some kind of high school hormonal drama jealousy shit.
YOUR TELEPATHY SWITCHBOARD IS LIGHTING UP. PERIOD.
Your sixth sense or intuitiveness is built like a Timex watch.
It takes a licking, but keeps on ticking.
Because the truth is that your radar, whether spiritual or emotional, only goes off when something foreign has entered that airspace.
It’s awkward, isn’t it?
Sure, it is.
Too many times you ignored your radar and you beat yourself up about it.
You believed your high school boyfriend Nick, and later found out he was cheating on you.
The feeling of disregarding your own knowingness is itself disconcerting.
A counter intention can appear like a friendly airplane but if its intentions were good, your radar would simply not go off.
The smoke detector in your home does not go off if your baby is crying or you’re yelling at your teenager or your husband screams at the football game on TV.
It goes off when it detects smoke.
Your radar is infinitely more powerful and sophisticated than a smoke detector.
So, when yours goes off, why is it going off?
“Houston, we have a problem…”
Yes, yes, you do.
Handling the Covert:
First off, if handling the covert was easy, there wouldn’t be so many social media posts talking about toxic people and just eliminating them from your life.
If you confront your Uncle with his roving hand, he most likely will laugh at you and give you a smarmy smile.
And in all of my education and training the covert is the most insidious because they can appear to be a “good friend.” You may work with them and go have drinks.
But there is one thing I’ve learned after years of experience and it’s this:
DO NOT DENY YOUR OWN INHERENT PERCEPTION OR RADAR.
If the smoke detector goes off, it’s for only one reason: smoke.
If it’s batteries that’s fine because you’re in the clear.
But your friend or colleague will, despite yukking it up over drinks or talking girl talk while shopping, make your radar ping when you sense a counter intention.
If you had great telepathic abilities when you were six, and every day since then you denied it, or someone ridiculed you about it, or you ignored it, well imagine your perception now, like a dimmer switch on a living room light.
You are 52 now and your switch has been dimmed considerably.
So, when it pings, you pause.
You’re not as whip-smart as you were at age 6.
You write it off as foolhardy.
You dismiss it.
But when you eat your salad it bothers you down to your core.
Because it’s your radar.
And your radar was built to warn you.
I offer a free online personality test that shows exactly how far back you've had your perception invalidated and how it affects your work and relationships today.
This test is very much like an x-ray that your doctor takes in order to see where the human eye cannot. Your doctor can then advise you based on what’s really going on.
The test I offer is very much the same. It is uncannily accurate in showing your strengths and areas where you’re having difficulties.
This test is free to take online and I offer an evaluation of your results over the phone, no charge.
Just click on the link below.
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