Why We Invented Forgetting...
If you look up the word forget it means:
“a failure to remember.”
So in the actual DNA of the word forget is a failure.
A failure to remember.
And I’m here to enlighten you on how the hell you can "fail to remember."
Envision responsibility as a full circle.
Everything in and a part of that circle is known by you.
You clean the hall closet. You’re taking responsibility for the closet. Boxes, dust, and all.
You know what your job or responsibility is.
While cleaning, you find a porcelain ballet figurine your mother-in-law gave to your wife years ago for Christmas.
You recall her mom making a covert or snide comment to you about giving her daughter more nice things like this figurine.
Then, suddenly you accidentally drop the figurine and cringe as it hits the closet floor.
You reach down to pick it up and you notice a tip of the ballerina's slipper has broken off.
Now, if you’re fully responsible for the closet, boxes, dust, and all you’re also fully responsible for this chipped figurine.
But you think to yourself “Nobody will notice” and “Besides it’s been in this box all these years.”
You now have this:
A partial full circle of your responsibility.
And that gap?
That gap is the lessening of your full responsibility and knowingness.
You think to yourself “Best we forget about this,” and dust off the figurine and put it back in the box.
YOU JUST INVENTED FORGET.
The truth is:
You cannot actually forget anything you know.
You may have to let that sink in.
You can take just a tad less responsibility for what you know---just a tad---and I assure you you will begin to "forget" rather easily.
Interestingly enough the definition of integrity is “wholeness, no part missing.”
So when you lessen your responsibility the circle has a part missing.
That would be you omitting it happened on your watch.
You’ve just short-changed your integrity that much.
And since forget means a failure to remember, what is it you’re failing to remember?
THAT YOU KNOW AND ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE.
Real Life Circle # 2:
You bought your husband a really expensive camera for his birthday and also took $1,000 out of your kids' college fund to do so.
I assure you your husband will be ecstatic about his gift.
And then you knowingly decide to forget to tell him about that $1,000 you took from your sons college fund because you tell yourself “I’ll make more money and put it back”
But see, you leave that out.
You just want to forget that part.
You just can’t quite say, “Honey, I hope you don’t kill me but I took $1,000 out of Stephens college fund so I could get this. I really wanted it for you.”
Full responsibility keeps the circle and your integrity intact.
If “forgetting is failing to remember,” and remember means you know you are responsible, how do you “fail” to do that?
It’s this completely goofy mental sleight-of-hand we think we can pull off to let us off the hook.
Problem is you can never in anyway get off the hook when you’re responsible.
Because the hook is responsibility.
And if you knowingly take less responsibility, that gap in the circle will continue to get wider and your responsibility level much smaller.
If the porcelain ballerina could talk and she looked down at her broken ballet slipper, what do you think she’d say to you?
You’ll sleep with the image of that ballerina and your wife for years until one day your wife looks for her figurine and finds her in the box in the closet.
Wife: “Honey, do you know how my ballerina has the tip of her ballet slipper broken off?”
And just between us girls, that pause is that gap in the circle of the husbands responsibility.
The husband is now at the same crossroads when he was cleaning the closet.
He can now close that gap by taking full responsibility for the broken ballerina or knowingly let that gap widen.
I offer a free online test that shows the effects of lessening your responsibility in your relationships in life.
This test is very much like an x-ray that your doctor takes in order to see where the human eye cannot. Your doctor can then advise you based on what’s really going on.
The test I offer is very much the same. It is uncannily accurate in showing your strengths and areas where you’re having difficulties.
This test is free to take online and I offer an evaluation of your results over the phone, no charge.
Just click on the link below.
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