You See Dead People and a Whole Lot More

Let’s see how this would apply.

You are at work and you’re the Project Manager for your team.

You have a great team, except you have this swear-to-god feeling that Eileen is the only team member not quite on the same page.

You can’t prove it. She smiles and joins the discussions. You ask her about it, but she smiles and says, “No, I’m good.”

But something makes your Spidey Sense ping.

You are perceiving something here, no?

The answer is yes.

WTF are you perceiving?

No, not dead people.

Eileen is very much alive. As you pass her in the hallway you exchange pleasant smiles but her smile makes your skin crawl for some reason.  

What are you perceiving?

“I think Eileen has something against me. She has something against the purpose of this project. She disagrees with something but she won’t come out and say.”

Wow. That’s a lot to see.

You sure?

I mean you could just be imagining this, you know?

Maybe you’re jealous of Eileen because she comes off smarter than you in the meetings. Or maybe it’s the way she always puts her $1500 Saint Laurent leather clutch on the executive table as a statement.  

Hello?

Cat got your tongue?

“I am not jealous. Eileen is smart. I’ve got no problem with that. And her fucking purse is her own ego in leather. I get it. I don’t need to make a statement about myself.”

Daaammmmmnnn.

Okay. The Senator from Massachusetts, the floor is yours.

“Listen, I don’t know what it is I’m seeing, but I can see it and feel it like a bad paper cut across my soul.”

Crikey.

A bad paper cut across your soul?!

And you’re saying you have no doubt Eileen is somehow leaving this impression with you?”

“It’s not an impression. It’s an intention. It’s a counter-intention to mine and the teams.”

A what?

A counter-intention.

Okay, so here’s the deal:

You do see and perceive intentions and counter intentions.

Possibly this is not new to you.

But many individuals and couples I work with do not give themselves enough credit that they do.

They have somewhere relegated this to New Age crap or some kind of “Woo-woo” that they don’t want to be part of.

Well, if your colleague is totally on board with you, I assure you, you can see and feel his or her intentions to forward your intention and the project.

If your colleague harbors any kind of intention counter to yours, you can perceive this too, but here’s the back breaker:

YOU DON’T WANT TO PERCEIVE THIS.

That’s right.

This is Eileen or Jason your co-worker.

Or this could be your partner or spouse.

But they are on your team or in a relationship with you.

So OF COURSE they will be on the same page as you, right?

Not so fast Bronco Billy.

Let’s not obscure your perception based on some lazy idea that because they’re on your team, or they sleep in the same bed, that they don’t have or couldn’t have an intention counter to yours.

When you don’t PERCEIVE what’s actually in front of you, you have just knowingly turned down the brightness on that perception channel that is uniquely yours.

This is important to understand, Skywalker.

You are saying: “This can’t be. She’s on my team.”

You are in essence not-seeing what you see.

That’s koo-koo for CoCoa Puffs crazy.

I’m sorry to say, you actually not-see more than you care to admit.

It’s a bit of a tough bullet to bite.

You will see or perceive Eileen’s counter intention and you will at the same time be observing inside yourself some version of this thought: “She can’t possibly be trying to stop me.”

It’s like “She loves me. “She loves me not.” “She loves me.”

That’s right. 

She loves you not.

Listen.

You see what you see. If you choose to not-see it, you’re in big trouble.

And this brings us to the second part of this which makes this whole “what do I see thing,” a bit tricky.

Seeing is also a band of comprehension.

You may need to let that sink in.

Here’s the deal:

You do perceive Eileen’s counter-intention!

It’s not eyeball sight for heaven's sake.

It’s your sight. You, as a being.

As an aware sentient being.

You can perceive her counter intention.

Let me make this perfectly clear:

If your Mom or Dad did not want you to wear that make up or wear your combat fatigues to school, you didn’t need to hear them say,

“You’re not going to school dressed like that.”

Nah. Their counter-intention to your intention to wear what you wanted to wear, could have made your hair stand up without hair gel.

Are we good with perceiving counter intention?

But what is really maddening is even when you KNOW Eileen has this counter intention, you cannot understand for the life of you why she sits there and continues to silently disagree or hold this counter intention to yours.

Right?

That’s definition # 2 above:

The capacity for comprehension.

It’s part of the band or channel of perception that sits right along side your ability to perceive.

It’s like the pattern of light in a rainbow. Orange is always right next to red.

Comprehension as perception is so close to your initial perception they are roomies.

And once you do perceive the counter intention, comprehension kicks in.

Your comprehension roomie says, WTF?

“I don’t understand why she obviously disagrees but doesn’t say anything?!"

Now your perception and your roomie comprehension has got you befuddled.

So, you tell your boss.

You: “I think Eileen has disagreements with this project.”

Boss: “Really? What makes you say this?”

Okay, time out.

This is the game winning Jeopardy question you cannot possibly answer, right?

“Ummmm…“I’ll take Telepathy and Seeing Dead People for $800.00, Alex.”

How in the world do you answer this??

You: “It’s just a feeling I have. I just know it in my bones.”

Boss: (Nodding his head up and down not saying anything.)

He then speaks.

“Okay, well, the client needs the project done by the end of next week. I suggest you get whatever's in your bones worked out with Eileen as she’s handling the designs which are key to the project.”

Geez. Thanks so much, Boss Man.

Listen up:

The counter-intentions of those people around you in your life be it a colleague at work, a partner or spouse, or a family member covertly wanting to take away some of your inheritance, are real.

But you must be aware of this:

Because you immediately perceive the counter-intention you also will immediately get the non-comprehension.

It’s like a one-two punch.

It’s, “Wow, she’s got counter-intention to this project. But this cannot be.”

See?

You’re getting your husband’s shirts ready to take to the cleaners.

You see a receipt in his shirt pocket.

As you pull it out you get a whiff of perfume on his collar.

An expensive perfume.

And that bottle is not on your bathroom shelf.

You dismiss it.

It cannot be.

Ummmmm…but that cute nose of yours did perceive the expensive Chanel, did it not?

Just to be sure, you bring his shirt collar up a bit closer to your nose.

Yep. That ain’t Old Spice.

This fucks you up.

You have already had several heated discussions with your husband about him spending these consistent late hours at work.

Your perception is there’s another woman.

You could goddamn swear it.

Call it women’s intuition. Call it perception. Call it Cable TV directly from your soul. Doesn’t matter what you call it.

You perceive something.  

You asked him. Several times. But each time he denied it.

You give him a pass because he’s your husband, right?

But it eats away at you because you still have your perception that something is not right.

Like a silent burglar alarm, it goes off all day everyday when your husband goes off to work.

And now the smell of Chanel?

And goddamnit it’s Chanel # 5.

And you know this how?

Because that bad boy is $350 and that bottle looks like the Taj Mahal.

You have no such castle in your collection.

So your, “Fuck, I Was Right Meter” goes off the charts.

But in steps, “It cannot be.”

“It cannot be” is always butting in, you know?

Maybe his secretary gave him a hug at a meeting?

Could be.

What say you Columbo?

It’s your perception. It’s your ability. It’s what you see.

If you bypass the whole “This can’t be" thing, then you can go with the fact that it is COMPLETELY COMPREHENSIBLE that Eileen can have counter intention to yours.

It is completely comprehensible your often cunning and clever brother intends to cut you out of part of the inheritance.

It is completely comprehensible your husband could have an affair.

IT’S THE INCOMPREHENSIBILITY OF IT THAT BACKS YOU OFF FROM COMPREHENDING IT.

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO COMPREHEND WHAT YOU PERCEIVE, THEN YOU WILL DEFINE IT BY SAYING “IT CANNOT BE” OR  "IT IS SOMETHING ELSE."

“It’s probably just Julie, the VP of Marketing that he works with.”

“My brother is not a bad guy. He can be a bit of a loose cannon, but he wouldn’t cut me out of land and property inheritance.”

Yeah. You make those size 6 shoes fit even though you wear a 6 ½.

You have to understand the fact that something can be comprehensible just as an incomprehensibility.

Does this make sense?

You don’t have to understand gibberish to understand it is gibberish.

The enemy of is, is this cannot be.

Collar + Chanel = is.

Brother falsifying family records is.

Eileen undermining your project is.

If it is not, then what is it exactly you are perceiving?

Hmmmmm??

When you perceive the counter intention, trust me. It is there.

Maybe you have to poke around a bit.

Maybe you have to get past your own prejudices that, “It cannot be.”

It’s okay, Skywalker. Poke around. Take another sniff of that shirt collar.

Check the name of the restaurant on that receipt and the amount for the meal.

This is your marriage.

Not Days of Our Lives.

Put your Jethro Gibbs NCIS hat on for a moment.

Has your brother had a pattern of this kind of underhanded behavior in your experiences with him in family matters before?

Check. 

Has your husband been less affectionate and rather distant sexually of recent?

Check.

Didn’t you overhear Eileen talking crap about your unreal project deadlines in the staff kitchen?

Check. Check. And Check.

Once you get your wits around the fact that there is a fox in the henhouse, then you can confront and handle it.

Because if you ignore it,  Eileen will sabotage your project.

Your marriage will go on this kind of hellish affection-arid, “This is just what happens to couples after 15 years of marriage,” bullshit ride.

And your brother will commit a transgression againsts you and the family and ultimately himself that will tie up your life and time in a big fucking Gordian Knot.

Don’t let this happen.

You see dead people at Starbucks.

And you see very alive people with counter intentions right in your own backyard.

Leave the dead people at Starbucks to drink their free ice water.

But cinch up your Jedi belt and let your inner hunting dog, hunt.

Because in all my forty-plus years of helping people, every single situation I’ve ever handled in a business or marriage, there was never a good ending when counter-intentions were left at bay.

There’s a reason it’s called a “tremor in the Force.”

Go check out that tremor.

Trust me.

You want your client to get a five-star project from your team.

You want honesty and decency to reign in your family.

And you do want to live happily ever after.

We all do.

But happily ever after only comes about when your partner, colleague, friend or family member have their oar in the water and are rowing with you, and not against you.

I offer a free 30 minute consultation over the phone to discuss any issues you have that you feel might be blocking your personal or business success.

There is no pitch. There is no sale. There is no obligation to do anything else. This is my way of letting you know what I do, and hopefully creating a long term relationship. Click on the link below if you would like a free consultation.

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