Edward Lewellen en Lifestyle, Directors and Executives, Human Resources Professionals President • Transformative Thinking 4/12/2017 · 2 min de lectura · 1,4K

EQ and Your Emotional Rescue

EQ and Your Emotional Rescue

"Don't you know promises were never meant to keep? Just like the night, they dissolve off in sleep."

So says the Rolling Stones 1978 song, Emotional Rescue, which is about a man wanting to help a woman who is emotionally confused.

Have you ever felt like you needed to be rescued from your own emotions? Many people do. They have these unwanted thoughts swirling in their heads while their body aches from the painful emotions attached to the thoughts. Have you ever wondered which comes first, the thoughts or emotions? Does it matter which one comes first? And, is there any way to control them both? The answers to these questions will amaze and empower you!

Rebecca Saxe of MIT has done a tremendous amount of research on Theory of Mind. Theory of Mind includes thinking about other people’s thoughts, being conscious that we have beliefs, and being aware of having our own thoughts. Have you ever known someone to have emotions tied to what they think someone else is thinking? About their own thoughts that ruminate in their mind, especially when trying to fall asleep at night? About beliefs, religious, political, or otherwise? This is Theory of Mind.

The Risk/Reward area of the brain also uses emotion. It's involved in reward anticipation, decision-making, empathy, impulse control, and emotion.

There is also the connection between the Decision-Making Function and the Emotional Function of the brain. Neuroscientist and Nobel Laureate Eric Kandel explains that there is a one-way street connecting these two parts of the brain and it runs from the Emotions to the Decision-Making. Why is this significant? Kandel says we humans can’t control our emotions through strategy because emotions overpower strategy.  

Next, there is the connection between the mind and body. Dr. V.S. Ramachandran explains that neuroscience once taught that humans intellectualized other people before they felt or sensed them. It's now known that we feel, or sense, another person before we intellectualize them. We do this in a fraction of second. Neuro-Physicist Jill Bolte Taylor’s experience in her book My Stroke of Insight explains that emotions only last in the body for up to 90 seconds and can only be kept alive after those 90 seconds when a mind-loop, a neuropathway, is created for them to exist within.

With this, and so much more, going on is there really an Emotional Rescue, a way to manage all of the beliefs, thoughts, and emotions we carry with us? The answer is a resounding “Yes!” and this isn’t just theory. Its is through practical experience. Here’s how my Emotional Rescue works:

1) I help people know who they are in the Core Identity to establish a baseline for who they are and their core values. I have a process to help people discover this quickly, unlike the several weekend-long process many organizations use.

2) Our unconscious mind is at least 1,000,000 times more powerful than our conscious mind. Our thoughts and emotions are active at the unconscious level. This means that they can only be affected at the unconscious level. Otherwise you would already have full control over them. This is where I use a process I created called Dynamic Visualization. The process is an amalgamation of visualization, meditation, and mindfulness and it allows people to experience a two-way street between the Decision-Making Function and the Emotional Function. Both Viktor Frankl and Stephen Covey referred to the "space between stimulus and response" which allows people to make better decisions. My process expands that "space" with non-emotional decision-making ability.

Is it possible to take control of your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions? To have an Emotional Rescue? My experience tells me “absolutely!”

What has been your experience? Please feel free to comment and share this post!

+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++

Dr. Edward Lewellen is an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

Author of:

Life Mastery: The Fully Functional Life

The 90-Second Mind Manager

Lisa Gallagher 27/12/2017 · #14

#11 Great testimonials Edward, thanks!

Ebrima Sowe 5/12/2017 · #13

Hello Nice to meet you How are you doing today?

Harvey Lloyd 5/12/2017 · #12

#10 I believe i heard Dave Ramsey state, people will not change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. This is the reason for my comment surrounding offering up a reason. The reason can sometimes reduce the pain of change below that of staying the same.

But all too often i have found that the heart of individuals is desperate to hang onto current methods. The loss would be just too great. In these cases the catalyst will need to be greater than another human can provide.

Great stuff and thanks for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.

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Edward Lewellen 5/12/2017 · #11

#8 Hi, my friend, @Lisa Gallagher! I have successfully helped many people with both acute and chronic pain. In the case of chronic pain, what happens is that, even after the body has healed, the brain forgets to stop sending the pain signal to the body part that was injured or hurt. Because it doesn't get the feedback it wants, it increases the pain signal and the sensation becomes even worse. Dr. Ramachandran I mentioned in the article is world-renowned for his work with Phantom Limb. This is where a person whose missing a body part still feels pain as if the body part is still there and he explains this phenomena. Here are some YouTube video testimonials from some of my pain management clients that you'll find interesting and encouraging for your husband: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0p3kTP9fWs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMoZ-KmoFlI&t=96s, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx5zTaAuGW0

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Edward Lewellen 5/12/2017 · #10

#9 Thanks for your contribution, @Harvey Lloyd! Your insights are right on. People have to desire to change to make transformation a reality. It's like the people whom I help stop smoking; I tell them that their life will change as a result of being a non-smoker. Their current friends will drop off and new friends will come into being due to the fact that the person they used to be has changed. No matter the change (smoker to non-smoker, fearful to confident, angry to peaceful, depressed to happy, etc.) When the person transforms, so does their world.

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Harvey Lloyd 5/12/2017 · #9

I read with great interest as it seem that in these days many suffer from the need of emotional rescue. I enjoy the science behind the process as a novice but the reality is the experience of the loop. My own personal experience in this area has narrowed it down to two basic elements. People need a "reason" to let go and they require a "place" to drop it off. Given these two outcomes they can then reconcile their past with their present.

Within the rescue or what i like to call reframing, the individual is typically unwilling to let go because they realise their entire life is centered around the emotions. Friends, family and social connections have been made with those emotions. To reject the loop would mean all new connections and a new journey with the family.

It sounds as though you have found some answers and i can only say Godspeed in the journey of assisting others with this very precarious need.

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Lisa Gallagher 5/12/2017 · #8

I'd love to hear more about the mind/body connection with regards to chronic pain. My husband deals with it without getting too personal about him. I'm always searching for something beyond medication(s) for him which are taking a tole on his body. Great read and enjoyed the video too, very informative.

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Brian McKenzie 5/12/2017 · #7

I am in control of me, my and mine - and damned little else.