Edward Lewellen in Directors and Executives, Healthcare, Human Resources Professionals President • Transformative Thinking Sep 28, 2016 · 2 min read · +600

Is it Time for a Change in the Marriage Counseling Industry?

Is it Time for a Change in the Marriage Counseling Industry?

How Marriage Coaching is Different

Whereas, counseling is designed to help people feel better about themselves, coaching is designed to help people reach their goals. My question is; Why can’t couples have both? Marriage Coaching can help each person in the relationship understand what is important to themselves and to the other person. Then, tools can be used to help relationships become what both people want it to be; thereby creating happiness, fulfillment, and reaching their goals. You can have it all with the Marriage Coaching process!!!

Areas in Which Your Relationship May be Challenged

Premarital – Before entering into an engagement or marriage, it’s important for couples to understand key issues to compatibility, such as:
1) The core identity of themselves and the person they desire to marry. This is the stable part of each individual that requires certain needs be met in order to be happy. My experience is that most people have gotten so absorbed in the roles they play that they no longer know who they are in their core identity. This is why people can’t find happiness in themselves and are always looking for someone, or something, outside of themselves to find happiness. Your relationship will be on a strong foundation when both of you know your core identity and that of your mate.
2) The roles both individuals play in life and how those will possibly change after marriage or later on in the relationship. Unlike your core identity, the roles you play in life are fluid, ever-changing and need variety. As your relationship changes, so do your roles. This important to understand and another reason for knowing each others core identity.
3) Children – Are children in the future of the family? If so, how many? How will they be disciplined? Does religion enter the upbringing? How will the relationship between the couple change when children enter the picture?
4) Sex – Understanding and fulfilling each others need for sex and how that is best fulfilled is a major challenge for many couples as their relationship progresses.

When infidelity occurs, between 30-60% of marriages in the U.S. will experience it (Research of Buss & Shackelford), many emotions come into play. If you’ve experienced infidelity in your marriage and both partners want to preserve the marriage, suppose you could remember the lessons from the infidelity (many couples learn of underlying problems that preceded it) and not have the emotional baggage it creates. What if all the pain associated could be removed; including the fears, doubts, feelings of betrayal and suspicious feelings, so that a true “fresh start” could begin? Just imagine if all the underlying reasons for the infidelity could be washed away, as if you hit a “Reboot” button to start all over again, how would that make you feel? These are just a few of the possibilities and potential through Marriage Coaching.

A Better Relationship
You may have observed, experienced, or heard of couples “growing apart” after several years of marriage. If that has happened to you, imagine being able to regain that “spark” when you were first dating or first married. Remember the feelings in your body you had just seeing your spouse? It seemed to ignite a flame that grew more intense as you touched, kissed, and fell even more deeply in love. Marriage Coaching can help you rediscover and re-experience those thoughts, and feelings with the same, or more, intensity!

The Relationship is Over
Sometimes the relationship is over and one, or both, have a difficult time letting go of the ties to the other person. They have a hard time moving on. What if you could release the emotional attachments and retain your self-worth, self-ego, and a have no strong emotional response to the other person. This means the hurt and pain would be gone. And, wouldn’t that be an empowering feeling?! You can think of the other person, you can speak with them on the phone, you can even meet with them in-person and have no strong emotional response. Is it fair to say that would change your life?

These are just a few ways Marriage Coaching can help and there are many more. And, whereas Marriage Counseling usually takes months of going back-and-forth to the counselor causing you to miss work, get a babysitter, and costs you in many other ways, my process is quick and effective, usually taking only a few weeks. In fact, one of my clients who had gone to 18 months of counseling while going through a divorce and was still an emotional wreck, came to me and completely resolved her issues in just three sessions.

So, the next time your relationship needs help, consider a better alternative!

+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++

Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives. He is a Master Executive Coach, Master Life Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager