Edward Lewellen en Professions, Workers, Careers, Directors and Executives, Human Resources Professionals President • Transformative Thinking 4/6/2018 · 2 min de lectura · +700

Together Alone (™)

Together Alone (™)

It's amazing that we have more people on planet earth than ever before, easier access to others than ever before, yet, people feel alone now more than ever before.  We allow our phones to direct our attention away from an interaction we're having with another person who is standing right in front of us.  It's as if that chime tells us something more important is waiting for our attention.  The buzz of an incoming text, the ring accompanying an incoming email, post, reply, or any number of other notifications distracts us from live interaction with other people.  

It's like working in an office environment where there are hundreds of people, but they're walled off by cubicles.  They all know other people are there, but they're blocked off to focus on their own wants and needs, without regard for others.

One of the reasons I believe teenagers fall into depression and commit suicide is because they feel so alone while, at the same time, being barraged with messages on Social Media.  Their virtual connections become more important than their real connections.  In her book, The Cyber Effect, Dr. Mary Aiken stresses the still-unknown overall effects of our kids being on the Internet and electronic devices so much of the time.  Many of the devices, apps, and programs that are hailed as "educational" and "interactive", yet, they are already demonstrating many unwanted results.  As Dr. Aiken points out, we won't know the full effects until it's too late.

Dr. Ali Anani recently wrote two relevant posts titled Random Walk of Thoughts and the Societies of Glass.  In the first post, Dr. Anani writes of his visit with friends and all the while with them they were so busy on their mobile devices that they the only interaction they had was about whatever the friends were viewing.

These are just two examples of what I've coined the term "Together Alone™" to describe this global epidemic.

I wonder, Has Social Media become Anti-Social Media?  Like anything else, Social Media is a two-edged sword.  And, like anything else, how it's used, when it's used, and if it's used should be considerations.  For example, there are many I find exhilarating discussions with on different platforms.  Then there are those like the two men I read the post from recently.  Their caustic remarks and "all-knowingness" repelled me from commenting, as my views were different. I had seen their inability to consider possible options before.  One of the men, in particular, tends to go on a tirade when someone disagrees with him.  If I were a newcomer to Social Media, it would make me want to avoid it.

I also find it interesting how easily and quickly people are to post negative comments on what we call "Social" Media.  I'm open to different views and welcome them to my articles for discussion.  What I don't enjoy is when someone offers their opinion and, when I ask for information to support their stand, they get angry or just don't reply.  I recently told a person who had a different view from mine that they should write an article about their stand, as I thought it would be interesting to see their line of logic.  Nothing.  It was easy to make a negative comment, but it was too much work to actually write an article about it.  Again, read Dr. Aiken's book and she'll share the cyber-psychology of people like this.

How social Social Media is up to us to choose.  We can choose to hide behind the anonymity of our avatar and display destructive thoughts and behaviors, or we can choose to display the thoughts and behaviors of people who desire to see the world become better.  

In the end, your personality dictates your personal reality.


About Dr. Edward Lewellen

Dr. Edward Lewellen is an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

Author of:

Life Mastery: The Fully Functional Life

The 90-Second Mind Manager



Edward Lewellen 5/6/2018 · #10

#9 Thanks, Renoy! I’m looking forward to reading your posts!

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Renoy George 5/6/2018 · #9

@Edward Lewellen Great post, Edward and good to meet you. On a personal note, people feel compelled to keep to themselves because of their insecurities. Social media feeds into their insecurities by talking about how they should act, what they should do, etc. Social media can be accessed 24/7. People can keep themselves entertained without seeking company (or as you have mentioned in your article - without having to interact with the person in the next cubicle) One thing I love about Bebee... people talk to each other. It's not one share or one like. People talk to each other and build relationships! So I'm going to say as long as all of us here on bebee keep trying there is hope for the rest of the word!

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Edward Lewellen 5/6/2018 · #8

#1 Yes, my dear friend, just like almost anything, Social Media can be used for bitter or sweet, good or bad, etc. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by so many who use it for "sweet", you @AliAnani, @CityVP 🐝 Manjit, @Jerry Fletcher, @Harvey Lloyd, @Lisa Gallagher, @Lisa Vanderburg, @Debasish Majumder, @Cyndi Wilkins, @Bill King, @LIsa Morganweck, and so many more.

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Jerry Fletcher 5/6/2018 · #7

#5 Edward, Well done! I'm reminded of a bit of doggerel: "If everyone lit just one little candle..." Thank you for making it a brighter world.

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CityVP 🐝 Manjit 4/6/2018 · #6

It is important to discern healthy use and unhealthy use. I get how my kids use social media and how it serves as a proxy for their friendships - as well as a great means of getting them through University where the work load these days seems way more excessive than how i remembered it, mainly because the Internet has no boundaries and academics think that students have 24 hours to complete their studies every day. So the unhealthy aspect here is seeing our kids engage all nighters to meet their priorities. It is important to recognize the research where it is having or contributing an adverse reaction or creating psychological disturbance, but it is also important to recognize the excellent effects of this networked way of work and play.

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Edward Lewellen 4/6/2018 · #5

#3 Yes, @Jerry Fletcher, I can tell from your posts that you love in-person interaction. I had the opportunity this morning to enjoy interaction with a person I just met. At first, and out of habit, I was going to quickly end the conversation and get on with my day. I thought about it and realized I didn't have anything that needed my attention right away, so I continued the conversation. We talked for about 40 minutes and learned enough about each other we decided to stay in contact. No avatars, no hiding behind an app. Just real humans connecting.

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Edward Lewellen 4/6/2018 · #4

#2 Thanks, @Harvey Lloyd! I enjoyed your metaphor of the 2" pipe. What makes this even worse is that our senses only perceive 5% of everything going on around us, anyway. Add looking down a 2" pipe and the people who do so now live in a fantasy world entirely of their own making, but believing that their "map" is the world.

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Jerry Fletcher 4/6/2018 · #3

Edward, Excellent description. I find that corporeal connections are stronger and longer lasting than any link via electronics but that most people are uncomfortable being "in the moment, in person." People spout negativity because it is easier than to search for a positive outcome and because they have been carefully taught by the evening news. Few look for the silver lining because they have never been guided that direction. Each of us that can nudge even one toward the positive needs to do it on any occasion we are permitted to do so.

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