“Paper cuts to the heart” a side-effect of Social Distancing
“World events are moving very rapidly now. I pick up the Bible in one hand, and I pick up the newspaper in the other. And I read almost the same words in the newspaper as I read in the Bible. It’s being fulfilled every day round about us.” ~ Billy Graham
The pandemic of COVID-19 is producing global economic havoc. It is killing businesses as it kills people.
“LIFE” is being disrupted. The impact to living people is great & FAR reaching. Uncertainty is fueling FEAR and freezing HOPE … making the state of our BEING more fragile.
“Social distancing” is producing an unintended but devastating side-effect. It has brought forced isolation … very harmful to the human spirit.
“He is slipping away of paper cuts with no social interaction.” ~ Harvey Lloyd
Being “isolated” is like “paper cuts” to the heart … crushing to spirits … especially for the elderly.
I’m going to share some things from my heart about my Dad that are connected to this subject … I hope you’ll follow to the end;~) and find the light of encouragement.
My parents bought a farm
the year I graduated HS … I never lived there although 3 of my 6 siblings did. The
farm was in “God’s country” as most farms are ;~) FAR, FAR away … very remote …
they loved the creation that surrounded them: “All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small”
… they delighted in feeding the birds & deer … there lived many dogs
and a “herd of cats” (most who wandered there & stayed)
In many ways my parents choose “isolation” … as it turns out, it was a long season. In 2015 my Mom was being treated for multiple myeloma … she developed a bowel blockage which went undetected until it became a crisis. She spent several months in 2 hospitals … often in the ICU … numerous times on & off a ventilator which in itself, is a miracle … eventually she went to a rehab facility where she passed away in the middle of the night (details remain a mystery)
Her leaving was a “cut to his heart” … Dad remained at the “farm” until the end of 2018 … he was 90
(A thousand details: family support & modest resources made this possible … at sacrifice to herself, my oldest sister came to live with him … my oldest brother prepared & delivered uncounted meals … the animals were cared for)
Dad was where he wanted to be … on his “farm” with his animals …
“Quietly resting on the floor
But gentle hands could do no more
Death was waiting at the door
Lives were held by fragile thread
Hearts were speaking words unsaid” ~ fem-v
His dogs died in these couple years taking pieces of his heart when they left.
“Honor of my Dad” … tells more (“Pals” poem here)
During these short years Dad required very little but there was a SHIFT in his desire for connection … he wanted to hear from his children (if just by phone) on a daily basis. When visited, he would be found sitting by the phone in his rocker … waiting for those calls.
One day Dad’s independence ended: my younger sister stopped after work and found him on lying the floor he had developed pneumonia overnight … he was in intensive care and then miraculously … in weeks was able to transition to a rehab & then Senior care facility. Somehow Dad knew in his heart that he would not return to the “farm” … although he still made that request ;~)
Now here is the point of my sharing: in this late season of life, my dad became an “ambassador” in that place. This man who lived in chosen isolation … who held close his thoughts & emotions … was now ministering to the people there … with nothing more than his presence. He would sit by someone in distress (which happens often and sadly … the staff become immune or lack caring)
… Dad would hold their hand … speak quiet, calming words … and just be there …
In a most unexpected place & time he developed a rich friendship with one of the residents who had dementia but that person came to rely on his presence and seek his company (even though in a compromised state of mind)
This I believe is a spirit to spirit communication … when the mind shuts down the heart & spirit do not.
My youngest sister went out of her way to stop after work and keep him company at dinner. She also bought him a cell phone … he did his best to learn how to use it … but his physic limitations often made it difficult to answer … so we would call and have a nursing assistant get him to a phone.
God bless one of my brothers who visited him every day until his last day (at close of business, he would go & stay until Dad was ready for bed)
He passed away in May last year … in many ways I’m relieved to not be dealing with the heart ache of parents (loved ones) being “isolated” … in such a time as this
He was an intellectual man… closed within ... not given to displays of emotion or thoughtful words. His best friends were his dogs … with them, in his way, he could share his heart & dreams. Now it has been said: “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”
But in his final days my Dad disproved that … His priorities were reordered and he got it … he responded with humility, kindness & dignity. When he had nothing to give … he gave these gifts.
Life is fragile for so many ... it is a vital time to “reach out & touch someone” ... those hurt by the isolation of “social distancing” ... but there are many hurting people
More than ever, we need to be mindful of the human spirit.
“Heart-to-heart” make those calls … write thoughtful words in a card or letter. This will be as balm to sooth a lonely heart … a reinforcement of your LOVE and caring
While family & friends might be removed for a time … intimacy with God … is a sure way to overcome “isolation” … anytime.
For everyone it is vital time to guard the state of your mind … spirit & heart
Ongoing I say: “I do not have the answers to many questions but I know the One who does ;~)
“Submit yourselves then … Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” ~ James 4
I have a Friend who keeps me company
Though He’s a Spirit you cannot see
This Friend has become so very dear
Though He’s not visible, He’s ever near ;~)
When people might seem somewhat distant
His peaceful Presence is consistent
You may be "isolated"… but you’re not alone ;~)
This loving Friend is embracing you from His Royal throne.
“Like a Shepherd … He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart.” ~ Isaiah 40
“Fear not, for I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
I will be with you … you are precious in my sight because I love you.”
Giving honor to two of the “best-of-bees” … who on this day, reordered my priorities ;~)
I appreciated you both so very much … your “banter” inspires … and deepens this “well-spring”
Some comments from “Corona can make is stronger” … that got this “isolated” bee buzzing ;~)
Harvey Lloyd shared:
“My parents are suffering from the fear of the virus equally with loneliness…he is slipping away of paper cuts with no social interaction.”
This is as “cuts to the heart” … Just as the “social distancing” has been crushing to economic well-being … It is crushing to the hearts & spirits of those being “isolated … by the social distancing”
I find irony in the fact that lifestyle has become increasingly sedentary and “social media” has made the entire world much less “connected” in real relationships … now people are being requested or mandated to become more sedentary & further isolated. I pray people find the Source ... to help them develop within ... the ability to find strength in the face of adversity. ~ me
@Harvey Lloyd writes: "ask your cat to bark like a dog ;~)
“Thank you for your prayers. My dad has been on borrowed time for a few years. He is a great father and member of the communities he has lived. I am saddened that the times we are in have left him isolated. But the alternative appears to be worse than isolation?
Although social distancing (SD) is a great method for
combating the virus, it runs counter to human nature. I appreciate the
government warnings and stepping up their resoluteness in “ordering” SD. Well
you may as well be hollering at your cat to bark like a dog.
If you push at human nature in contrary ways for too long from your avenger status you may wake up something you should have left alone.”
“Yes, the paradox of social distancing and social
closeness is harder on the old because their feelings of isolation are
magnified more than that of the young. The old people (including myself) are in
need of the warmth of social closeness. Those old people who are familiar of
new technologies may lessen the problem of distancing.” ~ Ali Anani
“I used to be young, not sure when the transition happened to old. But I know in my youth I had the world by the tail. Today I look back and fully understand the axiom, "youth is wasted on the young". The old of my youth seemed to be worried about stuff that didn't matter. Now from my new vantage point they were wise and I was foolish. I learned this earlier than most, but it still seemed pretty late in life.
“It is what wisdom we gain over time that matters” ~ Ali Anani
Our parents & grandparents … Aunt’s & Uncle’s … might seem as “ancients” but possess much wisdom & honor is due them. ~ me
April 1, 2020
From a well-spring spirit, I write: “In His Light”
All rights reserved: Fay Marmalich-Vietmeier
If my words make you think … Great ;~)
As “iron-sharpens-iron” … I enjoy bantering with other BEES … your feedback is as “honey”
A glimpse of the “Bee” called “me” ;~)
My caring nature makes me an advocate. My curious nature makes me a “queen of questions” … but gifted with the ability to listen ;~) I am a woman of deep faith, a blessed mother, a voracious reader, a blossoming writer, a grateful person, and a lover of beauty … I treasure family, true friendships and my loyal clients ... enjoy traveling, learning, good movies, good wine and golf. I’m a “heart-to-heart” communicator.