For love, the Important thing is the Character, not the Appearance!
The famous Russian psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky is sure that a person's appearance does not affect his happiness quotient. This fact is demonstrated by the world of celebrities, where even those who fit the standards of beauty have no guaranteed love and happiness - well, John Lennon and Yoko Ono illustrate this very well.
I observe how women struggle hard against supposed defects in their appearance. Men, too, sometimes fight, but not with so much dedication. Generally, for them to make money is more important than being handsome.
But women get too involved with diets and exercise equipment. If they stick with new inventions in the aesthetic clinics, they use heels so high that they give vertigo. But this is nothing when we think of plastic surgeries, the scalpels' scalpels. This obsession is similar to masochism, and those who develop them are just unhappy victims, willing to do everything for the sole purpose of being loved. Of everything. Yes, any manipulated transformation in the appearance itself, from artificial tan to liposuction, demonstrates the insecurity people have about themselves, taking a step closer to narcissism. And this is a very nasty disorder. When life does not smile at you without the approval of others, having worship as the maximum.
What is worse is that, for the victims of the beauty industry, the measure of self-esteem is not the appearance, but the presence or absence of certain parameters. Speaking of which, the lower a man's self-esteem, the more important he gives the appearance of his wife or girlfriend. Those who are sure of themselves, practically do not care about these things.
The truth is that I do not understand why tolerate, for example, the painful applications of Botox, when the history of the whole world, science and everyday experience scream that appearance (as well as high moral qualities) plays no role in Love, attraction, sex, and the way we are treated by others. There is another question. I'll talk about it soon enough.
For example, everyone knows who John Lennon married and who he was passionate about. He could choose any woman in the world. And remember Yoko Ono. It had a "different" appearance even by Japanese standards.
What about Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? This girl has conquered one of the world's most famous and charismatic men, experienced in life, and married him regardless of physical appearance.
Continuing, we can take a look at the husbands of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, or the wives of Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman or Woody Harrelson. What about Woody Allen's latest wife? It has nothing to do with a matter of physical beauty.
And none of them had trouble relating to beautiful men or beautiful women, respectively.
At the same time, how many physically beautiful but very unhappy people are around us? And what about the most beautiful woman (well, considered the most attractive) on the planet, with whom she dreamed 90% of the world's male population, whose portrait the American soldiers carried in their pockets during the Vietnam War? Marilyn Monroe died depressed and lonely. Besides having other psychological problems. It was Marilyn who said, "I was not used to being happy, so I did not think happiness was a must for me."
Hence the question: do you want to be physically beautiful or happy? If your choice is the second option, work more on your self-esteem than your appearance. Like yourself with the appearance you have to be able to show the appearance you want. It is the law of life
You know what? Appearance is a very subjective definition. The physical aspect is not just what you see when you look in the mirror: "I like myself" or "I do not like myself." That is the question.
Yes, love or lack of love for oneself does not arise from nothing, everything has its origin in childhood (parents, pay attention). If a person can not stand when he is rejected, if he already assumes that he is not seen by others, and therefore needs to be good, it is clear that this person has no idea what unconditional love is (and this is the only one true love). Probably this individual was not loved by his parents the way he was, not because he was born and lives in this world. No. Directly or indirectly, they transmitted to him the false idea of being "good", from which it is deduced that love must be conquered, even be conquered daily. And for this ...
"I will be a great housewife, I will learn to cook, I will have a perfect physical appearance. So, one will certainly appreciate all my 'human' talent. " This is what some women say, not necessarily out loud. My dear, no one is going to love you for your silica ml, for a good lasagna or for a docile character. Love comes from other things. As the saying goes: "Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go wherever they want."
Besides, do not you understand how unnatural it feels when you just want to look good? Behind this behavior, it is absolutely impossible to see how the person really is, but it is easy to see the tension and dissatisfaction he feels about himself. All normal people become frightened and shy away from all this. On the other hand, one's self-confidence will surely attract a lot of people. But it is not just a question of security in itself. For a person to fall in love, for love and passion to emerge, it must be won. And what it conquers is not the ideal nose shape, a flat tummy or beautiful hair (with the exception of that attraction at first glance, which can go very wrong). Unconsciously, we are attracted by something related to our childhood: an association, similarity, smell, gesture, the way of expressing itself, the timbre of the voice, that is, any detail that reminds the hometown, parents' house, and relatives Closer. This association, incidentally, is not necessarily happy. And in the face of this, all the tricks, plastic surgeries, clothes and physical attributes are useless.
For love, there is no ideal appearance; There is character, good will and faithfulness to oneself. Only this is valued in this world, and they are scarce goods. That alone provokes interest, respect and the will to be around.
And if you do not have these qualities, there is only one way out: be yourself. Develop your individuality and qualities people. Do not accept compromises, at least, do not suffocate or behave like a victim.
It is best to follow your own desires, dreams and aspirations. Cultivate your differences before others and do not repress what is part of your personality.
An attractive person will say, "Okay, what you're saying is real, I agree with every word, I can read and re-read a thousand times, but that will not give me self-confidence. I would respond that self-esteem needs to be worked out, no doubt. For example, trying to generate yourself the maximum of psychological comfort, respect your own desires, dedicate time (and money), try to enjoy the pleasures of life, feel their taste, taking advantage of every nuance.
The task is to compensate for the lack of love on its own, to fill the empty spaces that formed during childhood and adolescence. It is to set this goal as a vital priority, and not expect others to want to make you happy.
Other people will come into your life and will want to do you good when you realize your own importance. Your appearance is just your self-esteem.