Phil Friedman en Communications and journalism, beBee in English, Social Media Writer/Editor - Marketer - Ghost Writer - Marine Industry Consultant • Port Royal Group Nov 16, 2016 · 4 min de lectura · 3,9K

TMI (Too Much Information)

TMI (Too Much Information)
EMOTIONAL VOYEURISM AND EMOTIVE EXHIBITIONISM MAY BE DEGRADING OUR ABILITY TO EMPATHIZE...


Preface: This is on the order of a rant --- polite and quiet, but a rant nevertheless.  It's a protest against the Tyranny of  Emotion that I see growing daily on social media. If you're of a mind to think this an attempt to control what is expressed on social media, you're wrong. For it is not. In any way.  My only objective is to call to your attention what I believe is a disturbing and negative trend. Whether you personally choose to participate in this trend, is solely up to you. However, my mission here is to counsel against doing so.


empathy : noun : em·pa·thy \ˈem-pə-thē\ : the capacity for understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another ....  without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner...

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Let's get something clear. People who genuinely empathize with others generally do not revel in emotionalism.


That is because those who are empathetic actually, in a very real way, feel the pain of others, their fears, their upsets, their depressions, their disillusions.


To be sure, those who are empathetic also feel the joy and elation of others, their happiness, their contentment. But the good emotions that empathetics feel are far less lasting in their cumulative impact than are the bad or negative ones.


Which is why most truly empathetic people I've known generally seek to filter or minimize the amount of emotionalism they are exposed to on a day to day basis... 
TMI (Too Much Information)

Please note that when I speak of "empathetics",  I am specifically not  talking about "Empaths". In referring to the former, I am talking about ordinary people who have a deep sense of empathy for their fellow human beings. Whereas in the parlance of the paranormal, "Empaths" are those who reputedly tune in psychically  to the emotional experience of a person, place or animal. Candidly, I have sufficient problems in dealing with the sphere of the normal, and so have absolutely no inclination to grapple with the constantly shifting ground of the paranormal.

That said, understand further that I am neither recommending nor seeking to eliminate emotive elements on social media --- or anywhere else, for that matter.


However, I am suggesting that, when it comes to emotional occurrences and experiences, TMI (too much information) can actually result in decreased, rather than increased sensitivity to the plight of others...
TMI (Too Much Information)

We've seen what overexposure to graphic violence in movies and TV has done to desensitize us. And we've seen what unceasing and explicit exposure to the horrors of terrorism and war in news coverage has done to us. Are we going to allow the increasing preoccupation with emotional and emotive expression on social media to add to the problem? I for one sincerely hope not.

Which is not to say that anyone's postings on social media should be censored or restricted. But we can reasonably take into our own hands the determination of how much emotional voyeurism and emotive exhibitionism  we are exposed to on a daily basis. And we can choose not to foment and reinforce it with our own postings and comments and compliments.

We can also choose to steer clear of those who speak of virtually nothing else. Who use every post to draw us into a fixation with emotions and emotive content. Who use every comment to refocus attention upon themselves and their personal demons and travails. 

Again, this is not to say that one should never be emotional or emotive or sympathetic or empathetic on social media. There is no doubt in my mind that some online relationships are very real, and that some people find personal connections online that they lack or fail to find elsewhere in their lives. And I see nothing wrong with joining hands across digital hyperspace in mutual support, as and when needed.


"... the more I love mankind as a whole, the less I love man in particular..."  
Fyodor Dostoyevsky  in The Brothers Karamazov

I suggest that the ideal path is to be selective and authentic in both the asking for and giving of emotional support. For one can emotionally support some of one's connections all of the time. And perhaps all of one's connections some of the time. But never all of one's connections all of the time. 

To try intentionally to do so, or even to simply fall into such by default, is to risk emotional burn-out and eventual loss of the ability to empathize at all --- ever.  Which would surely be a shame.  --- Phil Friedman    


Post-script:  Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. This post is an expression of mine. You are free to disagree. You are even free to say so in the comments thread for this post. Indeed, you are invited to do so. All  on-point comments are welcomed and will be treated with respect and answered. So feel free to join the conversation.  --- PLF 


Author's Notes: If you found this post interesting and worthwhile, and would like to receive notifications of my writings on a regular basis, click the [FOLLOW] button on my beBee profile. Better yet, elect there to follow my blog by email. As a writer-friend of mine says, you can always change your mind later.

Should you be curious about some of my other writings, you're invited to take a look at the following from my Chicago Stories series:

"Two Pizzas and a Shovel"

"Wake Up Little Susie"

"Vending Machines Are People Too"

As well, feel free to "like" and "share" this post and my other articles — whether on beBee, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, or Google+, provided only that you credit me properly as the author, and include a live link to my original post.


About me, Phil FriedmanWith 30 some years background in the marine industry, I've worn numerous hats — as a yacht designer, boat builder, marine operations and business manager, marine industry consultant, marine marketing and communications specialist, yachting magazine writer and editor, yacht surveyor, and marine industry educator. I am also trained and experienced in interest-based negotiation and mediation.

In a previous life, I was formally trained as an academic philosopher and taught logic and philosophy at university.


Before writing comes thinking.  ( The optional-to-read pitch) :  

As a professional writer, editor, university educator, and speaker, with more than 1,000 print and digital publications, I've recently launched an online program for enhancing your expository writing: learn2engage — With Confidence. My mission is to help writers and would-be writers improve their thought and writing, master the logic of discussion, and strengthen their ability to deal with disagreement.


TMI (Too Much Information)

To schedule an appointment for a free 1/2-hour consult or to sit in on one of our online group sessions, email: info@learn2engage.org. I look forward to speaking with you soon.


TMI (Too Much Information)
TMI (Too Much Information)


Aurorasa Sima 18/11/2016 · #69

#68 I think the reasons are similar. Both imply we care or at least listen. Two-way streets.

+1 +1
Phil Friedman 18/11/2016 · #68

#67 Thank you, Aurorasa, for reading and taking the time to comment. I think everyone has his or her own reasons for being on social media. Yours you say is connection. I would describe mine as conversation, although that is not so different. And some I think are moved by the fact that misery loves company. I guess there is a place for everyone. Cheers!

+6 +6
Aurorasa Sima 18/11/2016 · #67

#65 I know I can´t read 10 emotional posts in a row. I´d get depressed. Everyone should write about whatever they like, but if a writer is only and always writing about his inner demons and struggles, I will probably stop reading him or at least reduce the amount.

My preference is writers that have their readers in mind and try to deliver useful advice or entertainment. I´m not saying that all of the emotional writers do not care about their audience, but it seems to me that some of them are not truly looking for a genuine connection.

Here´s the thing: If I´m looking for good writers, I´ll go to "goodreads.com" or a similar site. When I turn to social media, I am looking for connection. But, again, that´s just me and my personal preference.

So, basically, I share your point of view.

+5 +5
Phil Friedman 18/11/2016 · #65

#53 #52 #39 --- I understand that you have very likely read this post. However, for the record, and to clarify why I consider a number of the criticisms expressed in this thread to be off point, the following is a direct quote from the article"

" I am neither recommending nor seeking to eliminate emotive elements on social media --- or anywhere else, for that matter ... However, I am suggesting that, when it comes to emotional occurrences and experiences, TMI (too much information) can actually result in decreased, rather than increased sensitivity to the plight of others ..."

Thank you all for reading and commenting.

+3 +3
Phil Friedman 18/11/2016 · #64

#53 Aurorasa, I look forward to it. Cheers!

+1 +1
Max Carter 18/11/2016 · #63

In psychological terms what we are witnessing here is called juvenile behavior from Phil and Gerald.

Instead of addressing me directly they have been hoping I didn't come back to this article and call then out for it.

As they attempt to talk behind my back and talk shit about me without using my name but making strong inferences.

In psychological terms this called bullying someone they don't like.

0
Gerald Hecht 17/11/2016 · #61

#60 @Phil Friedman yes that's a good point; I don't have the numbers but my guess would be a small number (even a smaller subset with access to pharmaceutical grade precursors in single and stereoisomer form, Noble Gases, liquid Nitrogen, matches for Bunsen burner ignition, etc.; not to mention the requisite safety certificates for working with mutha big enema compounds in and around open flames such as Bunsen burners); yea, let's stick with the Merriam-Webster standard for now. No need to add noise and vibration (sturm and drang) confounds.

+1 +1
Phil Friedman 17/11/2016 · #60

#59 Gerald, I think I like it, but it probably requires a bit more work. At this point, as Recording Scribe for the Society for the Study of the Wisdom of Chung King (SSWoCK), how many card-carrying desciples do we have at this point?

+1 +1