Gert Scholtz in beBee in English, Poetry BeBee Ambassador • beBee Aug 25, 2017 · 1 min read · 1.9K

Pull It Sir Prize

Pull It Sir Prize

I come from way down south

From a small town in a vast land

English seldom came to mouth

But this poem will make a stand

Yew see, my spelling was not gr8

Eet lacked a certain fine fin S

Good grammar came 2 late

Two reach any poetic noblesse

May my spelling not decline

And all ways bee cure rekt

Four I wood not utter a wine

If some 1 comes to check

I took a hole new direction

My grammar now is perfect yes

No need for any correction

From beBee's Grammar Goddess 

I am humble butt o so proud

To rite so well is a huge big feet

U C, miss takes R knot aloud

Look a new at the prose you reed

No more grammar miss steaks

When righting a poem or averse

I rite to make all quiver and quake

In words sew stirring and terse

I right away in flourishing flare

Verse, rhyme and rhythm bold

Here is my poem, and B a ware

My eloquent words to hold

Read my prose so Mnintly wise

This, is my Pull It Sir Prize!

A lass…

I still am from way down south

My Inglitch inkorekt and broke 

Let me not speak my mouth

Unless it be a masterstroke!

With thanks to:

Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess - mentioned in this piece and for her Friday Fun posts.

Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador - for courteously correcting errors in my posts.

Ken Boddie -  for being the true poet from the south, and for his limericks and rhymes on beBee.

Claire L Cardwell Sep 29, 2018 · #50

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Claire L Cardwell Sep 29, 2018 · #49

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Claire L Cardwell Sep 29, 2018 · #48

#47 @Ken Boddie - yeah - I love to have a laugh regarding our lovely Goddess of Grammer (my spelling - Grammar) @Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess. I have a completely cavalier attitude towards spelling - for example to me 'Scarey' is far more evocative than the rather vanilla 'scary'. I also make liberal use of signs like !!!!, *** #@^(*@(^(#@@))??// etc. etc. and oops - did I drop my participle - could you send someone to fetch it for me?

I cannot leave out the double space, it makes text easier to read. I know that dyslexic's can have a problem with the over-use of spaces in a document, but when you explain that the spaces are there for a wee breather and if you let your mind clear and focus on the space - you will be able to read the swirling letters they give it a try, if it doesn't work then modified text will be supplied.

I am mathematically dyslexic - I get 4's and 7's mixed up (we do french 7's in this family), 3s and 8s + the infinity symbol and the letter E and also 5's and 3's with E's and that backwards E thingy and 6's, 9's and lower case g's. When Algebra was introduced my goose was cooked! I was diagnosed at Kings in the early 90s and ALL my stats were done for me. I also transpose numbers. So if the answer to what is 8 x 3 is - I would write down 42 instead of 24. I understood the concept behind calculus, but could not integrate to save my life. I did say what's the point? - A tape measure would give you the answer in a 1/10th of the time! I do sukuko puzzles to help me focus that side of my brain.

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Ken Boddie Sep 29, 2018 · #47

#45 @Claire L Cardwell and @Gert Scholtz.....
This recycled ditty’s still gritty and witty,
As kick started off by Ms Claire,
I trust that your grammar’s at home with your granda,
And Miss Spelling’s gone for repair?
But don’t let me blunder and plunder your thunder,
I really don’t want us to fight,
In this hemisphere, we all speak quite queer,
When all’s said and done, “She’ll be right”!

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Claire L Cardwell Sep 29, 2018 · #45

@Gert Scholtz - Daarn wif SKOOL! We don't need no Edkayceun..

Have you heard of Ronald Searle? He was the cartoonist behind Molesworth and the St Trinians School...

To be brutally honest @Gert Scholtz- boarding schools in England are remarkably like this one. My go to pals were Shalaleh Qadir (Pakistani girl her cousin was Irman Khan and Jane Ho (who was Cantonese and lived in Hong Kong) We would have strategy sessions and then drop a few hints (ie we issued some instructions) and watched the games begin! I always found a multi cultural approach the most effective when plotting the simultaneous demise of Mrs Freeze Bottom (the head Matron) and the it bitch girls.

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Aleta Curry Aug 28, 2017 · #43

#34 LOLOL Five points @ @Ken Boddie

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Debasish Majumder Aug 27, 2017 · #42

wonderful poem @Gert Scholtz! enjoyed read and shared. thank you very much for the share.

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Gert Scholtz Aug 27, 2017 · #41

@Proma Nautiyal @🐝 Fatima G. Williams Well thank you! Happy that it gave a smile and thanks for sharing.

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