Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago · 2 min. reading time · ~10 ·

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Invite the criticism... and then "lean into it"!

Invite the criticism... and then "lean into it"!

You know those times when someone just has something to say?

yy lion,A couple of days ago I found myself in a "professional discussion" where someone felt it was very important to offer me a perspective regarding what I was doing - He didn't understand or see the utility of LinkedIn (or beBee), didn't see any reason for all of my blogging, questioned my range of topics and ability to have much to say, and finally questioned how I could "monetize" my efforts. In the end, he said he was "sorry to offer all this contrary perspective" ; all with a slight air of conviction that he was right and I was wrong I might add.

To that I said, "I really appreciate the discussion; it's important" . And I truly meant it! 

"I'm arrogant enough to think I know everything and smart enough to know I don't" is a self-reflective reminder I came up with a long time ago to ensure I, "shut up, listen and consider that maybe I'll learn something". It has served me well over the years but if truth be told, I sometimes forget. I didn't forget a couple of nights ago though; instead I listened, considered, thoughtfully engaged, and appreciated every word.  

"I agree with myself 99 out of 100 times" is another self-reflection that reminds me it's important to get feedback, council, advice, criticism and even the "odd hater"(for good measure). It's a recognition I am not always right, and I need to get other perspectives, thoughts and insights that differ from my own. I Invite the criticism and the differing opinion; I want to hear something I have not heard before to help support better decision making.

"Lean into the criticism" is the most recent self-reflective reminder that I've adopted and probably should have adopted a while back but hey, I'm still a work in progress. As I look at it, "Lean into the criticism" is an important reminder in the following ways:

  • Criticism , although by definition is considered negative, needs to be stripped of any emotion. It needs to be looked at intellectually and not considered irrelevant just because you "don't like it" - Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's wrong.
  • Meet criticism head on - Don't evade criticism, don't shy away from it and don't diminish its value. Criticism will let you pressure test your thinking, validate your conviction, and will ensure a better chance of success. If what you are doing can't stand up to a little criticism, how can you expend it to succeed in the "BIG, BAD WORLD"
  • It allows you to validate the critic's credibility for next time - In the end, you are inviting the critics, not the haters.

Any and all critics welcome... and the odd hater for good measure.

iamgpe

www.gpestratagem.com 


"
#perspective #self #time #criticism #reminder
Comments

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #20

#20
Thanks for the comment Jim Lenihan

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #19

#19
Appreciate the comment Gert Scholtz.

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #18

#18
Thanks John White, MBA!

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #17

#20
@Jim Lenihan - To which I would add never comment to a fool, for it just spreads the conversation to all of your followers, and gives the fool a larger platform from which to pontificate.

Gert Scholtz

7 years ago #16

Graham Edwards This a good concise post - thank you Graham. I like the line I agree with myself 99 times out of 100. In my case on some days it can be 50 times out of 100 :)

John White, MBA

7 years ago #15

Phil Friedman, we promoted this one via Facebook and LinkedIn via beBee's company pages. Nice buzz.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #14

#15
Thank you, Graham, for reading and saying so. I'll be following you henceforth, and invite you to do so reciprocally. We guys who believe that people don't have to agree all the time, and that it is more beneficial when they don't, need to stick together as we traverse the swamps of social media. Cheers!

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #13

#7
Thanks for the comment . In this case it was a total misalignment of "objectives" (and maybe a lack of understanding of social media forums). In the end his criticism was misaligned with my objectives and just were not relevant... this didn't minimize the importance to listen but in the end it just didn't seem to apply. Like you said, I do like the saying, "Let's agree to disagree".

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #12

#6
Hi Phil Friedman... I quickly read your latest instalment of "He said, He said" and thought it was wonderful (I read it off my phone so will want to read it again on my computer as I like a bigger screen). I hope everyone takes the time to read "He said, He said"... you definitely have a new reader in me.

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #11

#5
Thank you for your comment CityVP Manjit. I'm a big believer you can agree to disagree and not compromise a relationship unless it is a topic that is just so morally dividing. In this case we simply agreed to disagree.

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #10

#4
Thanks for your insights Jim Murray. I get your point about the social media forum as you never know where it's coming from but for me if the feedback is in context, "constructive" and respectful, then it's worth considering... I think the criticism also pressure tests your objectives and conviction. If anything, it helps you develop a thick skin because the reach of social media is now global and everyone has a point of view... if only to say something "mean". I think your right about gut feel for sure as sometimes that's all we have.

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #9

#3
Thanks for your comment Randy Keho.

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #8

#2
Thank you for your comment Phil Friedman and the follow.And thanks for the contribution to the discussion... your buzz (see link) was a good read and I recommend it to everyone. Great food for thought... if your definition of insipidity includes those endless lists of "top 10 ways to something" (be it happiness, being successful or the greatest entrepreneur ever), then I'm totally onboard. Cheers

Graham🐝 Edwards

7 years ago #7

#1
Thanks for the comment Tony Rossi. I totally agree.

CityVP Manjit

7 years ago #6

#8
This is the way to honour each as unique being. We are taught argument rather than humanity or at least we learn to recognize humanity when view each other as unique beings each with our own fingerprint, life circumstance and contexts. This is the true meaning of diversity, not the politically correct ideology found in human resources.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #5

#4
@ Jim Murray, I think you and I may differ on this (big surprise), for I don't see a need to know anything about the person taking issue with me. I only need to understand their points and arguments. Of course, if that person is telling me to trust him or her when they tell me I'm full of crap or wrong, simply because they know better, then I do want to know who is telling me to blidly accept their judgment as better than mine. Now let me get back to finishing the latest installment of "He Said He Said"., which will publish this weekend. Cheers!

CityVP Manjit

7 years ago #4

You have done what I consider an intelligent person to do, which is you have not closed the door on the relationship but said fine, when the other is ready for a meaningful relationship that yours is a open house, which equates with an open mind. Should an apology be necessary then humility is another form of intelligence - so long as we know our own heart remains an open house. There is always something we can do and waiting is a form of doing - for sure the uncomfortable raises our growth, as does the very actions of maintaining an open mind and an open heart. Your buzz is your house visited by the graceful and the unruly.

Jim Murray

7 years ago #3

It's always good to carry yourself with humility. Criticism on social media kind of bothers me though because if you're not really familiar with the source of that criticism, which probably 80% of the time you're not, then it's really hard to tell of that person is someone with real wisdom to impart, or just literate and full of shit. Like this comment. You don't know me from a hole in the wall. So it's really hard to decide whether or not you're learning something here...it's a dicey business at the best of times. And your gut feel is really your best bullshit barometer. Then again, maybe not. I like your insights though.

Randy Keho

7 years ago #2

Very appropriate info in regard to today's world. Again, simple, but yet, difficult.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #1

@ Graham Edwards - nice piece, good advice, and the expression of a viewpoint that I hope will spread on beBee, before it is overtaken by the potential flood of Insipidipity that I fear is just around the bend. I am now following you, and will watch for more of your writing. And since you asked for contributions to this discussion here is mine, "Conversation Isn't Just Waiting Politely for Your Turn to Speak" (https://www.bebee.com/producer/@phil-friedman/conversation-isn-t-just-politely-waiting-your-turn-to-speak). Cheers!

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