Greg Rolfe in Directors and Executives, Engineers and Technicians, Administrative Pastor • Beacon Hill. Baptist Church Dec 1, 2020 · 2 min read · +800

Dealing with the difficult

Dealing with the difficult

Well it is now December first and we all know what that means. It is the start of the parties, parties that we must attend, many we look forward to while others will be attended by that person. Yes, we all know that person, the one who makes all the others squirm. Sometimes they are just awkward while others are simply difficult to be around.

So how are we going to handle that person who is just difficult to be around? These people have the power to simply make the place a location you truly don't want to be regardless of the event that brought you all together. Yet we all know we must attend. So how are we going to handle it this year?

We have tried the grin and bear it. Attempt to be nice and simply get through the time, is generally the acceptable course. We spend the time trying to steal the moments we can, enjoying the event knowing that the moments are short-lived. But to be honest this is rarely successful and we only feel relief when the event is over. So what other courses may we take?

It is at this point when we often come to the advice to have a conversation with the person in an attempt to fix the issue or repair a break. I believe the success rate is in the basement for this. Though I believe it is still considered the second most offered option. The first being the grin and bear it. A further option is the go and tell someone in authority of the issue. Now, this option is necessary is if the person is actually breaking company rules or civil rules but other than this it is not truly an option.

Dealing with the difficult is just that, difficult. We deal with people like this on a regular basis it only seems more difficult this time of year due to the added stresses. Dealing with difficult people especially at social events is frustrating due to the lack of social guidelines directing the interaction. But deal we must.

Now I expect more than a couple of you have noticed the one option I have not brought out, skip the event. This is by far the most desired option though it is by necessity the one we are least likely able to use. So deal we must. But how?

For the majority it is a matter of learning their triggers and resets. Though this takes time and patience. If you have the ability to notice what comments or situations increase the persons' conflicts, for some, it is alcohol, while others it might be a verbal confrontation or something as simple as holding a different opinion. Others have more subtle triggers and learning them can be difficult. But if we are able to determine the events that set them off and then avoid these the social gathering is much more agreeable. To truly be successful with this option usually takes a class on psychology but it does work in most cases.

The reality is we all have to deal with the difficult and this year will be no different, though perhaps with Corona we will finally have our git out of jail card. And while I expect we will most often be forced to grin and bear it please know that we are with you and understand the emotions you feel. You might stand alone at the moment but understand that we are with you in spirit and support you from as far away as we can possibly achieve.

Blessings and have a great time with friends and family.

Greg Rolfe Dec 4, 2020 · #12

#11 Thank you @ Frani Hoffman

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For some of us older peeps, we get this as we've been in undesirable situations before. Even though not the holidays we have enjoyed in the past, let's be grateful we are around to enjoy them. You're not alone in your feelings and have a blessed and safe holiday season.

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Harvey Lloyd Dec 2, 2020 · #10

#7 Enjoy the season and Merry Christmas!

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Greg Rolfe Dec 2, 2020 · #9

#5 @Davia Ward It is nice to know we are not alone. And days like these a reminder goes a long way. Thank you for joining in.

Greg Rolfe Dec 2, 2020 · #8

#3 @Ken Boddie One of the unsung blessings of being old! But I see you have put up with more than one "joyfully" event.

Greg Rolfe Dec 2, 2020 · #7

#2 @Harvey Lloyd that is the exact technique my mom employed in her classroom years ago to great success. She was considered a miracle worker. Not sure what happened to me. Have a fantastic holiday season!

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Greg Rolfe Dec 2, 2020 · #6

#1 @Pascal Derrien parties will be reduced and in a few cases, thankfully!

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Davia Ward Dec 2, 2020 · #5

"You might stand alone at the moment but understand that we are with you in spirit and support you from as far away as we can possibly achieve."
Such a meaningful and powerful statement. It's so easy to feel forgotten or lost when not immediately in contact with others, but it's so helpful to keep in mind that we can all be together - even when apart.
Thank you for sharing!

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