The Dog and the Owl
For sometimes now, I sent a few emails to a friend of mine who is very dear to me and who is fighting breast cancer, to try comfort and support her.
She was not replying, but recently I received a message from her, telling me that my emails "help more than I think".
Here is my response to her:
"My dear friend,
Thank you for the rainbow you sent me.
I could feel you smile.
Nice you’ll have your own quiet place far from the crowd and hopefully the second phase of your treatment being less invasive will be less painful and tiring.
It’s also good to know you’ll make consulting. Be it short time, it will keep you busy, connected, aware of your skills and ready to learn new things.
It makes me proud of you and of your courage that I trust will help you get through your tiredness.
I am happy to know my emails help.
It’s the very reason I send them to you.
You know, my dear friend, it’s because I remember.
I remember how it feels when you find yourself falling down a deep dark hole, not knowing if it’s bottomless and if you will see the light again.
When you lose all what was dear to you, when you are down, when you are broken, when you are alone and your pretended friends turn back because you are now useless to them, or because they don’t care, or because they don’t know, or because of their fears, or because they have other concerns… Or whatever… They fly away…
When you think you are nothing but a rubbish, or a mangy dog, or a shit.
When you wonder whether hope, trust and life still have a meaning.
If yourself have still a meaning.
And I remember how it feels when one day, coming from nowhere and from no time, like a feather escaped from a nest and softly landing on your cheek, like the light snow flakes melting with your tears in the winter cold, like a gentle and fresh breeze caressing your shoulder in a pale morning sunshine, like the fading sound of the church’s bell in the distance, you receive a few genuine and simple words from an old distant and forgotten friend.
I remember how it dims up a tiny light that awakens you and reminds you that you are you, unique, special, a human being, with a soul and with a heart, that you are not alone, that you are worth and that you are right to stand up.
I don’t know… Or so little.
I just figure out that it was and is not easy for you and that sometimes you may feel bad and down and that a few kind words may help you.
And I don’t want you to feel alone. I don’t want you to feel worthless. Because you’re not. You’re a nice lady, with a beating heart and you are alive.
So, I try to help. To support, comfort and encourage you. To remind you the immense power you have: the power of making people happy…
Last, thank you for your encouragements: I promise, I will be strong, sometimes with sarcasms and irony, more often with magnanimous attention and kindness.
And, you know, I am always strong, because of my secret.
Next time we will see each other, I will whisper my secret in your ear.
And you will read it in my eyes.
Now look at the above picture I already sent you times ago.
Nice example of friendship, isn’t it ?
Looks like you and me…
But, don’t worry, don’t get me wrong:
YOU the dog, eyes shining in the light, beautiful, intelligent, loyal and proud;
Me the owl, silent flying silver good spirit watching in the darkness of the night…
You’ll never be alone.
October 2016 Hervé Sabattier