Graham🐝 Edwards en Lifestyle, Professions, Workers, Careers, Entrepreneurs Consulting Principal • GPEStratagem 12/2/2018 · 1 min de lectura · +900

If you are a Millennial this is what you need to know about me...

There was a time (which I admit seems like many lifetimes ago) where I was actively involved in hiring and working with people at the very, very end of the Gen X tail and at the very beginning of the Millennial generation (or in those days what we affectionately called the whY Generation) — frankly I'm not sure the distinction even matters because they all came to the table with great potential. It was a time of "high adventure"... with countless memories and stories that come with that kind of swashbuckling.

If you are a Millennial this is what you need to know about me...One such memory involved us in a classroom with everyone seated in that classic U shape arrangement listening to one of my colleagues at the front of the room; another colleague and I were seated at the back observing. As we were whispering to each other (which I will admit can be rude), a person close to us turned and said, "You're judging us aren't you?"

There was a moment of confusion and then I looked at her and said, "No we aren't". Then I motioned for her to pay attention to the front, looked back at my colleague, and stopped whispering (well for a little while at least) — again I will reiterate the whispering was a little rude. I will never forget the question though (or the concern that could be heard in her voice).

Now fast forward a little more than a decade when just last week I was talking to a Millennial about his website; when I asked for the web address he said sure, and then went onto ask me not to be "judgy". 

I think maybe it's time for some clarification, and to set the record straight when it comes to me.

For the record —

  • Of all the generations I've worked with so far I like the Millennials the best. 
  • I never judge when I'm having a discussion (or working) with Millennials — sadly, I wish I could say the same when it comes to Boomers.
  • I'm not a "hater"; I don't "bully", and I'm generally not "mean".
  • I'm respectful.
  • I have opinions (and if I'm honest, more opinions than I have earned the right to have)
  • I believe "candor" is important.

I think it's important to call out the last point because it's crucial to understand what candor is not

Candor is not "bullying", or being "judgy", or being a "hater", or any other word you decide to use when you don't like what is being said (or you disagree). If I candidly offer you constructive input and you say I'm being "judgy" or a "hater", et cetera, et cetera — well that's on you; not me.

I will always offer a safe and respectful place, and will not judge (or hate, or bully) — even when you don't like what I have to say.

That doesn't happen so much in the "real world" because as we all know, it's a "judgy" place.


                                                         Dedicated to L, R and A.


Randall Burns 23/2/2018 · #11

#6 Great song @Graham🐝 Edwards and yes every generation has issues/differences of opinions with previous generations. I do see both sides and remember in my "younger days" the clashes/friction with the older generation, LMAO!

Graham🐝 Edwards 21/2/2018 · #10

#5 Hahaha... thanks @Jerry Fletcher... you raise an important point I think... people never call it "judging" when they like what they hear....

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Graham🐝 Edwards 21/2/2018 · #9

#4 Thanks for the insights and perspectives @Louise Smith... greatly appreciated.

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Graham🐝 Edwards 21/2/2018 · #8

#3 Thanks for sending this video @Randall Burns... I think anyone who manages Millennials needs to watch this....

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Graham🐝 Edwards 21/2/2018 · #7

#2 I love this video !!! thx for the smile ! @Randall Burns

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Graham🐝 Edwards 21/2/2018 · #6

#1 Thanks for the comment @Randall Burns... I can't help but thinking of the David Bowie song Changing when this topic comes up... I wonder if our grandparents said the same things about us.

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Jerry Fletcher 14/2/2018 · #5

I judge this article to be spot on!

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Louise Smith 13/2/2018 · #4

I love your post @Graham🐝 Edwards
It is relevant to a plethora of situations not just Millennials

Being thought of or asked not to be "judgy" is not about you - obviously as you are not
It's about the other person & can happen regardless of age

It indicates a person who has no idea of their true worth but judges them self by what others think
It's also often linked with insecurity or low self esteem or experience of previous even current abuse even anxiety and depression

Being thought of or asked not to be "judgy", happened to me a lot when I was high school teacher (for 30 years)
I learnt to keep any perceived judgement off my face and body language and out of my voice
I tried for neutral if I couldn't indicate something positive
It was a survival mechanism when teaching up to 200 teenagers per day !

But now as a psychologist it's a skill that is still very necessary and useful !
Candor or honesty is integral to good counselling when used at the right time.