Ian Weinberg en Publishers & Bloggers, Human Resources Professionals, English Developer and facilitator of neuro-coaching program. Neurosurgeon in practice • NeuroSurge - neuromodulation 18/11/2016 · 1 min de lectura · 1,3K

Your world starts and ends with you

Your world starts and ends with you

I met a friend for coffee earlier today. Let’s call him Mike. I noted that Mike was drawn and somewhat anxious in his demeanor as we sat down. He proceeded to relate how stressed he was in his business. Revenue was down and the general morale in the work environment was compromised. Probably as a result, productivity had also been negatively affected.

At this point the waitress brought our coffees. It struck me that Mike never acknowledged nor thanked the waitress. But things were to get worse. After a few sips of his coffee, Mike’s face contorted and thunder clouds gathered above him. ‘I’m not accepting this shit for coffee’, he growled! And with that he commanded the waitress back to the table and demanded that she ‘take this crap away and bring me real coffee’!

Now I’m familiar with other people in a similar line of business who are ticking over quite happily in spite of tougher economic times. And I couldn’t help but conclude that Mike with his malignant mind state must surely have compromised his own success. This is probably the way that Mike behaves at work and how he relates to his staff. And it probably gets a whole lot worse when things don’t go his way. I would guess that Mike doesn’t even know the names of his employees let alone their personal life situations. I would imagine that Mike also carries this demeanor over into the marketing of his business which is hardly an attractive lure for potential clients.

I contrasted this with one of my patients who owns a medium sized business, employing about fifty people. Let’s call him John. John takes a personal interest in all the trials and tribulations of his staff. When individuals are in financial difficulty he helps them out. Once a month he sponsors a barbecue at the work premises for all the staff. He derives great personal gratification from mentoring new employees and in fact makes a point of employing individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds. And when there was a general strike recently in this particular industry, John’s workers volunteered out of their own choice to work their shifts at night. The result was that all targets were met. John’s business is thriving and has expanded into a lucrative export market.

Interestingly, John has never been coached in the work place. Merely his genuine interest in the well being of his employees has created a win-win situation. Sensitivity has translated into mutual trust with resulting success for all.

Mike on the other hand has lost his human connection. This is compromising the viability of his business and contagion will undoubtedly spread beyond, perhaps into his personal environment. Mike will need coaching just to re-engage with human decency and sensitivity. And only then, perhaps, will his business turn around.

Our respective worlds do indeed start and end with us. Did you acknowledge and thank your waitress today?


                                                                  Copyright reserved - Ian Weinberg 2016



Leckey Harrison Nov 19, 2016 · #18

Stress at those levels to me indicate that it is widespread in their life, and chronic. It affects behavior in exactly this way. It is at this time that "stress management" isn't helpful. It needs to be released and gone, which is entirely possible. I've been in those shoes, though not as a business owner.

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Harvey Lloyd Nov 19, 2016 · #17

I have believed that "where we are" is a function of previous choices or conditions. How these choices impact us can be experienced through self-awareness of these conditions/choices or through failure by external influences. The latter only leads to the belief of hopelessness. The former is a learning process of trial and error. The contrast in the two businesses is astounding. Faltering businesses tend to shake off the perspectives that made them successful in the first place. Thanks for the contrast @Ian Weinberg

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Ian Weinberg Nov 19, 2016 · #16

@Deb Helfrich @Lisa Gallagher Not sure if you read this post of mine from a while ago. I applied my entire professional repertoire in this case. I had an opprotunity to chat with this patient /client this past week and was heartened to hear that she's enjoying perfect health and that her business has expanded enormously. She's listed in the top fifty women CEO's in the world. For me she remains a great inspiration of what can be achieved through appropriate intervention. Here's the post for your interest https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ian-weinberg/a-case-study-illustrating-the-effectiveness-of-neurosurgery-for-a-brain-tumour-followed-by-intense-neuro-coaching

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Claire Cardwell 🐝 Nov 19, 2016 · #15

Very interesting article @Ian Weinberg - I don't understand why people still don't get how working in a negative environment affects productivity..... that's why I went out on my own years ago. I guess Mike has a hard time keeping his employees, he sounds like a horrible boss!

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Ian Weinberg Nov 19, 2016 · #14

#13 It's a fascinating concept @Lisa Gallagher That some subtle element in the life narrative can decide whether an individual remains a victim following a negative life experience or transcends to a more resourceful space. Probably a whole science in itself.

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Lisa Gallagher Nov 19, 2016 · #13

#11 Interesting @Ian Weinberg and sad. Nurture does play a large role. I've also found that certain people who manage others may have been treated badly over a period of years before they leave or are promoted to a leadership role. These same people do have choices and it's sad when they choose to treat others in the same manner they were treated. It's almost as if they are taking out every injustice they felt on the wrong people. My husband had many bad experiences until he went out on his own, he is very tolerant of his employees and that's because he understood the consequences of negative leadership. My husband respects and values them and very liberal with time off and much more.

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Ian Weinberg Nov 19, 2016 · #12

#10 Thanks @Lisa Gallagher Mike has in fact always been prone to this behavior. About 10 years ago when he was in a similar space, I did attempt to coach him. Tried to mirror the consequences of his attitude/actions to him. I also tried to move him into a non-judgmental space with some sensitivity to where others are at. But as you see, I hardly made a difference. There is a great deal of nurture baggage in Mike's history that's resulted in a low self-esteem with fear of failure. And yes, I agree with you. This is one of those cases that hasn't and probably won't benefit from coaching.

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Lisa Gallagher Nov 19, 2016 · #10

I'm curious @Ian Weinberg, has Mike always been prone to demonstrate the indignant behavior he showed on that particular day when meeting for Coffee? If this has been a pattern of his, I'm not sure if Coaching would help him or not? On the other hand, if Mike has fallen on hard luck and this is something new, coaching may be valuable. A person who is profit driven vs. people driven will always fall short. I enjoyed this buzz!

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