The Exorcist.

( Just for laughs ..) Bear with the grammar kicking please

Today I read the comment about a new TV series.

The Exorcist... and I said to myself... The Exorcist? on television?.

Well…no way I'm going to see that...

I had horrible nightmares when I went to see it at the theater. And I saw it in Spain. Censored scenes and altered dialogue. They were the years of Franco and a girl that takes her mother head place it in her pubis and yell at her...!! Suck it.. That wasn't very well accepted. Nope.

Yes... I reckon that I had a really bad nights, for a while. All this in a religious school, where there were fierce arguments about the existence of the devil etc. And there was always someone saying with voice of Marlene Dietrich. ¡!! Have you seen what she did …Your cunting daughter!! . And bingo.. Another night that I woke up between groans and tremors!!!

Well... After all...I was just 14 years old. And I must say that I always get impressed in films. Also had me swimming at the shore, the summer of 75, when the movie Jaws came out. And I loved go underwater fishing, in the rocky areas, Cadiz ´s beaches. But with the "Shark"... no way dude!!!

Diving in the surf... everyone with water by the knees... and there I was asking permission... going with my mask, snorkel and fins... but to move from left to right... not into the depths which is what should be done...

But let go back to Linda Blair and the film in question. Fear... I had... fear seeing the Exorcist. But not that fear of horror film... that you cover your eyes, with slightly opened fingers to see a little bit.

No... Not... fear... fear for real. Scared enough to jump and throw yourself behind the sofa, giving you a head butt with the floor and do not complain or say a thing so that the family would not make you stand up. I was comfy there... behind the couch. Quiet. Who would make me pay attention to Kike and rent that film on VHS.

All because Kike enjoyed the film. In addition the kid, had the ability to roll the eyes completely white. I tried to it. But at the most that came was to look like Jerry Lewis.

Kike not... Kike put them in white and got goosebumps. Pure fear.

Not of Kike... Kike was a buddy... the film. Scared of girl in the Exorcist.

That summer. In Cadiz. In the evenings. The gang, were going to stroll and buy sunflower seeds. We all were about 14 years old... and although we rather much going to a disco to dance Boney M. I do not think that all we had money or to pay for a drink. So the best thing was to go out there. Buy some sunflower seeds, sit in a wallflower and fix the world.

…Or we could go to of Marta ´s grandmother old House. This old House. Abandoned, in a dark street. Stuffed with trash. Beside a lot that smelled like coffee. It smelled coffee, because the near bar emptying the machine coffee-grounds, throwing them to the floor. Thus they were rats, always so hysterical.... And yet the poor beast had not seen the Exorcist... go figure.!¡¡¡

One fateful evening, Marga... the more "mature"... she smokes and wears makeup... told us go to the House to make spiritualism. Everyone had a predictable reaction. Radical. Yes... that awesome fear.!.! That what said I... Fear... Shi..iittt ... I did looked Kike... and Kike said... yeah…let s go... let s talk to the dead and spirits.!.! And winked me an eye... I smiled...... see this guy was up to no good... then Kike put eyes blank and I felt a drop of sweat... between the shoulder blades... you'll see... you'll see were this going to end ...

That afternoon, we carry candles and a glass to the house. Someone brought a notebook and we spent a good while cutting sheets of paper into quarters and writing the letters of the alphabet. You know... you put the letters in a circle and put your finger on the glass and the glass is moving and responding (from the beyond...) or from more near... because it was obvious someone was pushing the glass with the finger...

That generated a big fight. All cried out and yells... no one is moving the glass. Finally, Isabel, said that writing a YES and a NO and start asking the spirits if they were present. We were all delighted with such a successful idea... You have to start from the beginning and summon the souls from the purgatory... Antonio said that. His uncle was a priest. He knew about this.

The room was completely dark. With the exception of some candles here and there and a candle attached to the remains of a ceiling lamp. Needless to say, that it was of the most sinister. I was already beginning to have fear and cold.

Rocio coined the phrase... SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡ All agree and begin the litany... SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

The phrase began to become a mantra... SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

We were repeating in a monotonous tone... a steady murmur which vibration was echoed in the walls of this old mansion and reverberating.

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

We'd go together at unison... seemed like a scene from those cult movies where guys with hoods go to sacrifice the beauty in a furry bikini .

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

Tone was in crescendo... voice went up and our orders were increasingly imperative.

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

We all there... with eyes closed... finger on the glass... concentrates to summon someone...

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

We were not whispering any more... already we were nearly screams. Rats, nervous, in a corner looking at us… very concerned...

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

The tone arises. The voice of Antonio was like a growl

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

By then… we were all standing screaming. The rats were fleeing scared. We were all screaming the phrase. Screaming and perched on a chair Marga was all shaking with crazy gestures. She was the real girl from the Exorcist. Linda Blair at her side was Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

And suddenly of the corner of the eye I saw Kike... saw him extract a tiny package made of foil .

And the contents of the package got in his mouth. Two pills of Redoxon effervescent Complex. Remains of the flu. And a long sip of 7up.

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

That was the end of the world as we know it. We were all screaming SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

Marta was already crying. Marga on top of the chair gesturing and crying out to the skies… pissed cause the absence of the spirits on that afternoon. Isabel was a pure cry

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

… And suddenly we all hear it... the ROAR... a deaf ROAR coming from Kike´s corner... an strange and hoarse vibration... something like a BROUGARRRGGHHHH. As if the devil himself was gargling...

And we all looked at Kike... we approach a candle and what we saw was a shocking image. Authentic horror. Kike was in a corner... sitting with the face upwards... Orange foam spurting through the mouth... and the eyes rolled in white. The mixture of saliva and 7up with the two tablets of Redoxon had made effect. And Kike smiled devilishly...... cause the tickling... of the bubbles.

That was the last straw. All we were shouting terrified. The rats crying and looking for their little ones... Marta fell out of the chair... she bounced off the ground and started running... Antonio already winning by two bodies by the staircase down. Guillermo was Thor without a hammer and non stopping at the landings... Isabel stumbled ..and fell upon arriving to the street and cut an eyebrow (still has the scar).

I was not running. I was there... on the floor …rolling with fits of laughter, cold... and fear. And Kike spitting orange foam. Thanks goodness was flavored...

How we laughed. Someone took a couple of days before showing again at the beach. For shame I would say.

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡

I have not seen the movie ever since. Since that day I have not take Redoxon Complex.

And as for the TV series. Your Momma is gonna watch it...!!!

PDT. A couple of weeks later someone told us that they had seen Marga near Barcelona... still running...

SPIRIT... IF YOU RE PRESENT... SHOW YOURSELF.¡¡¡