Jim Murray in Lifestyle, beBee in English, English Creative Director, Writer, Art Director, Project Manager • Onwords & Upwords Inc Sep 10, 2019 · 2 min read · 1.0K

On Deepening Relationships In Social Media.

On Deepening Relationships In Social Media.

My friend, and former client, photographer Michael Kohn, who is a very bright guy, posted an interesting quote from Malcom Gladwell in which he was referencing Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg.

"Connection is the goal. The quality of that connection, the quality of the information that passes through it, the quality of the relationship that connection permits—none of this is important. That a lot of social networking software explicitly encourages people to make weak, superficial connections with each other and that this might not be an entirely positive thing, seem to never have occurred to him."

Everybody figures this out in their own time and in their own way.

The digital marketing community, represented by the big sites like Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn etc.. are like whales swimming around with their mouths open sucking up anything that vaguely looks like food, referred to generally as plankton.

This plankton is the content that people like you and I are happy to provide. But more than that, it is also us as people.

These whales have conditioned us to look at this process of being food for them as something that will benefit us over time. They never actually say how long that is. And we believe them, and why not? We have no frame of reference for any of this because it is new in our experience.

The leaders of these digital entities become gurus because they control their own media flow, reach, direction, intensity and message.

 A lot of people don't take it seriously, but they have us all completely profiled and are constantly selling our information to people who, in turn, want to sell us stuff.

But this only works as long as we're here providing food. It's a symbiotic relationship between us (the plankton) and the whales of social media.

We need them for amusement and the promise of connections to other plankton. They need us for content and profile data.

At the end of the day, however it's a hell of a lot more profitable for the whales .

The way you break the pattern is by leaving. But the whales have a secret weapon.

Our addiction and our need for interaction with each other, even if it just the tiny screams of plankton echoing in the blue ocean of bubbly goo.

The Malcolm Gladwell insight is not intended to persuade everyone to up and leave. Instead, I believe it underscores the need to deepen our relationships with each other here inside your whales of choice.

Don't let anyone dictate rules of behavior to you here. Be yourself. Reveal yourself. Solicit information and insight from others. Have conversations. Deepen your relationships to the point where they become beneficial to you instead of just interesting.

We are only using about 20% of our capability here. Up the percentage and see if you can't put your participation here to better use for you and the people you connect with.

I have done this several times. And, glorioski!!! it works.

The bottom line is that these sites will always be collecting data about you and profiling you and lumping you into one demographic and psychographic or another no matter what you do here. It’s just what they do.

It’s really the price you pay for being here. But the real benefit to you only materializes when you start to really get to know the people you are interacting with.

That’s why it’s called social media. It’s a big old cocktail party in the ether.

Jim Murray is an experienced blogger, copywriter and art director and former professional photographer. He has run his own business (Onwords & Upwords), since 1989 after a 20 year career in Toronto as a senior creative person in major Canadian & international advertising agencies. He is specialized in creating communications for businesses working to make a positive difference in the world.

You can follow Jim

On beBee: https://www.bebee.com/bee/jim-murray

On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jim-murray-b8a3a4/

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jimbobmur

On Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y97gxro4

Phil Friedman 5 d ago · #14

I believe, @Jim Murray, that I have "deepened" some of my relationships on SM, but it is not something I expect in most or even very many cases. You and I share a special relationship as co-authors of some 35 long posts. Pretty unique feat if you ask me. Others have sought to replicate it but lasted for less than ten.
Beyond that I have maybe a dozen other "close" online friends. However, it all cases my "deeper" relationships are conducted via private messaging.
Finally, there are several people I avoid interacting with entirely, mostly because I find them to be pompous bullshitters who consistently present obscurity as insight, and who are, IMO, shallow and inauthentic. Overall, the rundown is pretty much as it is in life.

Nice piece, Jimbo. Hope you are well. Cheers!

+1 +1

Wow! I hate to coin the overused term "you nailed it"! But you put the good side of social media into perspective, @Jim Murray.

I agree with @Praveen Raj Gullepalli, connection is the goal. And interacting with those we enjoy makes the time and effort worthwhile. I've found many comfortable relationships on beBee and WordPress and enjoy every minute of it.

+2 +2

#7 Paul- I am too humbled to find the words to correspond at your level.

Jim Murray 7 d ago · #11

#1 Thanks @Jerry Fletcher

Jim Murray 7 d ago · #10

#2 Deepening is a relative term. Sometimes your connections will be amazing. Other times not so much. My connection to @Phil Friedman led us to co-author more than 35 posts together. That's rare but it can happen.

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Jim Murray 7 d ago · #9

#3 Thanks Ali. I'm at the stage in my career where I am mostly just trying to share as much insight as I can, and also trying to wean myself off the political crap that we all have to face every day,.

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Jim Murray 7 d ago · #8

#4 @Ken Boddie. Thanks for the comment. I think we all agree that beBee is a very special place. I like it here because, although I do not comment a lot, I read a lot and have gotten to know the people I follow quite well through their writing.

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Paul Walters 7 d ago · #7

#3 @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Succinct and to the point as always. Not only do I love your posts but your well-crafted comments as well

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